#yomo imagine

[tatatatatara]

Hot take but both Eto and Kaneki hate their name because the one they hate use it

[coffee-as-a-love-language]

so…silly question for the utaren peeps:

is anyone else in this fandom into percy jackson?

bc i may or may not have been hyperfixated on a lil au that i’ve written like 12k words for….

and i wasn’t planning on publishing it, but if someone is interested………

[suvidrache]

Renji Yomo - Human S/O

age in bio when interacting. minors do not interact.

Word Count: 131 / Read it on AO3 | Offline Version

He isn't as interested in the Human world as Uta is. He prefers sticking to his world and only interacting with humans when it's time to eat.

He would be very cautious when interacting with you, as he does not wish for it to be a lie and be an investigator. He also wouldn't want you to develop affection considering his meals consist of humans.

Once he fully trusted you and you both shared the same feelings. He'd still be the same person as before, a very quiet, rarely speaking man.

He doesn't like talking much, but he would protect you from anyone he sees as a threat.

He doesn't like talking about his past much, but every once in a while he may tell you a story from his past. 

© SUVIDRACHE — do not copy, translate, modify, or plagiarize my work. reblogs are appreciated!

[roboyomo]

the dialogue feels so awkward here i’m sorry i have a terrible headache and it’s midnight i’m tired i can’t do this dialogue stuff on the fly!!!!!

[harleyquilt]

Reconciliation (Touken/Kanetou fanfic) [Part 1/2]

Summary: Instead of fighting Arima Kishou, Kaneki decides to escape with Touka, Hinami, and Yomo. But can he really live on, content with the person he has become after all that has happened? With Touka by his side, as well as their friends, maybe he can live on with some semblance of happiness.

Words: 8,619~

Notes: This fic is dedicated to the wonderfully talented and kind @hakucho-art!!!!!!! It took longer than expected but it's finally here! I'll try to add a second part some time soon! It was fun writing this au ^_^. This fic has scenes of violence and PTSD.

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Kaneki collapsed onto his knees, the strength leaving his body. His skin was cold and clammy, his breathing erratic, and he looked up with wide, quivering eyes.

A sharp point pierces his left eye, seamlessly cutting through his flesh and into his brain. He screams, incoherently crying out with immense pain as he feels the loud grating of metal move against his flesh and bone. His body spasms and his kagune erupts from his back in the form of disjointed appendages. They reach forward, desperately grasping the weapon being pushed into his eye, and with an animalistic cry, he pulls the weapon out, his warm blood spilling out from the wound and down his face. He continues to scream, clawing at his face as it continues to burn with endless agony.

Make it stop. Make it stop. Make it stopMakeitstopMake it–

He gasped and his eyes shot open. Rolling over on his bed, Kaneki dry heaves a few times, his body trembling. He grasped his throat first and then his face, realising that the wound was nothing more than a figment of his nightmarish imagination.

Wiping away the drool from his lip, he turns back onto his back and stares blankly at the ceiling. He continues to breathe heavily, his chest quickly rising and falling while he takes a moment to recollect his thoughts. He was not locked in any kind of battle, but in a spare room in Yomo's safe house.

He brushes his hair back from his damp forehead and shuts his eyes, taking a slow, deep breath. His body stills and everything is quiet again. There's nothing to be afraid of. There is no wound.

He never did fight Arima in the end, and yet, the fear he had consumed him when he saw the reaper's imposing figure in that large, underground space continues to cling onto him, piercing through his dreamless sleeps with threats of never ending suffering. Worse than the pain, though, was the reminder that he was, in the end, a coward. A coward for running away, for turning his back, and wanting to live. What had urged him to do such a thing, especially after all the sacrifices of his friends and companions. He wasn't sure, even now. All he knew was that he had eventually collapsed in the underground tunnel and was found by Yomo soon afterwards. Had it been up to Kaneki, he would've insisted that he'd be left to die at the hands of the CCG, to be hunted down by the grim reaper and cut down for his cowardly existence. It would've been right, it would've been perfect.

But Kaneki was not going to complain to the man who saved his life at the risk of his own. He was not so selfish to do such a thing to his saviour. Still, it left him feeling hollow most days, mindlessly questioning the reason as to why he was still alive. He could still taste the blood in his mouth - sickeningly delicious and…human. Yomo wasn't the only reason he had survived that day, Kaneki knew. It pained him all the more, but he could not bring himself to think about what had happened. He was afraid that it would be enough to shatter him entirely.

"Coward." Kaneki muttered, twisting the bedsheets around his clenched fists.

There was a knock on the door and Kaneki flinched, Yomo entering the room. "Oh, you're awake?"

Yomo looked as cool and calm as he always did. It seemed nothing could stirr his stoic exterior. That said, Kaneki knew better than to assume that Yomo was not also hurting from Anteiku's fall. It had been his safe haven, just as it had been to all the others who resided there. It used to be his too. He had hoped that it could've been again, had fate not been so cruel as to snatch it away from his empty palms. If only he could have protected it in the end. If only he had not been-

"I'll be going to check on Kirishima and Fuiguchi. Will you be joining me?" Yomo asks and Kaneki's grip relaxes. He looks up, a small light in his grey eyes.

"Would that be alright?" He asks with some hesitation.

Yomo shrugs. "Sure, I don't see why not. They've both wanted to see you the last few days." Yomo pauses for a moment, wavering in the doorway. "How's your stomach?"

Kaneki looks down, his stomach wrapped with bandages. There's been no bleeding from what he could tell, though it has felt bruised since his battle with Amon. And with how 'starved' he's been, as Yomo puts it, his healing has been slow on the uptake. The wound was not as severe as it had been, at the very least.

"It's fine." Kaneki says, pulling aside the covers. "I would also like to see them."

"I'll make some coffee and then we can leave." Yomo nods, closing the door.

Kaneki nods back, lowering his eyes. Would it honestly be alright for him to see them again? To see her?

. . .

Hinami rushed around the living room, carrying wrinkled clothes with one arm and a duster in her other hand. Her cheeks were warm with a mix of excitement and nervousness, her heart fluttering with the thought of seeing Kaneki again. It has been a little over a week since she and Touka left the destroyed remains of Anteiku; Yomo initially took them to a bunker before moving them to a spare apartment he owned, and during this time, he apparently found Kaneki and had him stay in the bunker instead. Yomo has only visited them once since then and he shared minimal information concerning Kaneki’s condition. All the two of them knew was that he was still alive somehow.

Touka had been the one to ask about the others from Anteiku. At the time, it seemed like Yomo was going to leave without sharing any kind of news, perhaps in fear of upsetting them more than they already were. But in the end, he relented and told them that he was not sure of Irimi or Koma’s condition or location. He had heard rumours that Kaneki had saved the two of them in the midst of battle, though he could not be sure until he asked Kaneki himself. As for Yoshimura, he kept silent, signifying his ultimate defeat at the hands of the CCG. Hearing this, Touka lashed out and punched the wall, leaving behind a large crack, before storming back into her room. Hinami remained still, eyes wide and wet with tears, yet none fell in the end. She was simply speechless, dumbfounded even. It was probably something she should have expected, especially after the cafe was destroyed, but it was still a shock to have it confirmed. Touka has remained mellow since, lamenting her survival, and Hinami struggled with her own feelings of guilt for her continued inability to help the ones she loves.

However, hearing the news that Kaneki was not only well, but would be visiting them soon brought with it a burst of energy that she hasn’t felt in what feels like a long time. Touka has yet to find out, since she has been taking a shower since Yomo’s phone call, but Hinami was almost certain that Touka will also be thrilled with this sudden visit. After all, Kaneki and Touka were better together - she has always thought so in the past and she hoped it will remain true today.

Touka entered the room dressed in a shirt and some shorts and a towel around her neck. Drying her hair, she looked around curiously.

"What's all this?" Touka asked and Hinami beamed with a bright smile.

"Yomo will be coming over with Kaneki." She continued to hurry around the room, fixing anything that was out of place. Touka's eyes widened for a moment and before she could ask anything else, the doorbell rang. "They're here!"

Hinami rushed to the door, quickly hiding away the items in her hands, and Touka stiffened, clenching the towel between her hands. The door opened and she jolted back towards her room in a panic, hearing Hinami cheerfully greet the two guests.

"It's good to see you again, Hinami-chan." Kaneki smiled and patted her head, ruffling her hair. She blushed and her eyes filled with tears. She hugged him, tightly holding onto him, and with some surprise, he hugged her back. "I'm sorry I worried you."

Yomo moved past. "Where's Kirishima?" He asked and Hinami quickly moved back, suddenly embarrassed.

"W-Well…" She moved towards Yomo and looked around the room. "I'm not sure. She was here a moment ago."

"Hold on!" Touka called from her room. Kaneki joined the others in the living room, his eyes wandering across the room.

"I-I tried my best to clean it up before you two arrived." Hinami confessed, fiddling with the rim of her shirt.

"It looks good." Kaneki assured her, and Yomo nodded along in agreement. Hinami nodded back and looked down, her cheeks warm.

"I'll make some coffee!" She then exclaimed and hurried to the kitchen.

"I'll help." Yomo followed behind and Kaneki awkwardly placed himself down onto the couch.

Touka's door opened then and with some hesitation, moved towards the living room, where her eyes locked onto Kaneki's. His hair was still a snowy white, his skin pale, and dark shadows around his grey eyes. His eyes, though, looked back at her with a warmness she hasn't seen for months now. It was a warmness she remembered from their days before his torture. He stood with a slight bow and she noticed that he had grown an inch or two, or perhaps his figure was more impressive than it had been before; his shoulders were broader, his torso slimmer, but defined under his dark shirt. He was both the Kaneki she once knew and a completely new person she has yet to know.

"Hi," Kaneki says with a low voice, a mix of shyness and shame in his almost pained expression. "It's been a while."

"Well," Touka rubbed the back of her neck, looking away. "Not much time has passed since we last saw each other."

Both thought of the day the two reunited on the bridge, where Touka had confronted him for his avoidance. She had lost control of her temper and lashed out against him, leaving him beaten and bruised. When she returned home that day, she was consumed with overwhelming embarrassment, certain that she had only succeeded in pushing him away further. And knowing that he had joined the battle against the CCG's assault on the 20th Ward, she feared that she had pushed him into his grave. She couldn't bear the thought that she had spent their last moments together berating him. After everything she has lost, she should've known better than to act out like some kind of child.

But now, Kaneki has returned - he was standing right in front of her, alive and well. It's almost as if she has been granted a second chance to redeem herself, to say all the things she had failed to confess before. Still, she felt weirdly conflicted. As grateful as she was, it stung to see him after all of this time. He remained a shadow of his former self, and though that was not something she could blame him for, it was not something she wanted to accept. But there was nothing either of them could do to repair the torment he had to suffer through in the past. They could only move on with the present. With that in mind, she ultimately decided that, perhaps, it would help the both of them if she first apologised for her actions.

Just as she was about to squeeze out a small apology, Kaneki spoke first. "I'm sorry." He said with a quiet voice. "I'm really sorry, Touka-chan."

Touka shook her head. "No, I'm–"

Hinami and Yomo walked in then, with Yomo carrying a tray of coffee. The room filled with a familiar fragrance, a bittersweet aroma that reminded them all of days that were now long past. Hinami skipped to Touka's side and clung to her arm, shaking it with excitement. Her joy was infectious and Touka couldn't help but smile in return. Taking the mug Yomo passed to her, she took a sip of the delicious coffee, swallowing down the words she wanted to tell Kaneki.

The four of them sat together for a while, inquiring Yomo for news of what was currently happening across Tokyo now that the battle against Anteiku has died down. The city has always been quick to move on from these intense conflicts, with the media pushing out superficial reassurances that all was now safe and stable. The world of ghouls has never known peace, and this moment, like many others, was just another wave that pushed them further back into the shadowed crevices of society. It was something they have come to expect growing up as societal outcasts, and yet, it was painful being oppressed so violently by those that deemed them as nothing more than monstrous pests.

With this thought, Touka thought of Ayato and the cruel words he had thrown against her. The way he had punished her for foolishly believing, once again, that she could live alongside the humans that despised their existence. She struggled against him, but now, she was weighed down with the thought that he had been right, that perhaps the only way to live freely in this world was to fight against it.

At the time, Kaneki had hurt Ayato for his violent aggression against her. She vaguely remembered her brother's agonised, garbled cries as Kaneki spoke in a quiet, apathetic voice. He had saved her that day, but he had also abandoned her, betraying her just as her brother had done. She glanced up at Kaneki, then, clenching the mug between her hands.

Catching her eye, he held her gaze before she abruptly looked away, her cheeks warm. He had apologised to her first, though she never expected an apology from the guy she had punched. Multiple times. Across the face. She shouldn’t be too surprised, she thought, considering how soft he had always been in the past. Still, so much time has passed since then and after distancing himself from her for almost a year, she wasn't exactly sure what to expect from him. Regardless, she should've been the one to apologise first - that much she was sure of.

"The question is," Yomo's voice breaks through her thoughts. "What's next?"

They were all silent in response to his question, the air heavy with anxious uncertainty. Yomo leaned back into his seat, a slight crease on his brow as he considered his next words.

"I am not sure how safe we are here." He explained. They were currently located in the third ward, though the whole of Tokyo has been in a continuous, suspended state as the heat from battle gradually faded back down to a simmer. Both ghouls and humans alike were waiting tensely on the sidelines, licking their wounds and watching the other in anticipation of their next move. "That said," Yomo crossed his arms, his frown deepening. "I wonder if it would be best to move to the underground–"

"Absolutely not." Touka immediately protested, cutting through his words with an aggressive sharpness. "I thought I made it clear before that I will not allow you to force Hinami through that. We'll figure something out, just…" Her voice trailed off with a wince. "Just anything but the underground ward. It's worse than death down there."

Hinami watched Touka silently, concerned yet curious. She would not argue against Touka, though she wondered if her weakness was hindering the safety of the others. Of course, if she were to ask, they'd all adamantly insist that this wasn't the case, or at the very least, that her fragility was not something they deemed a hindrance. Those hypothetical words, words she has heard many times before, rattled her in her mind and a bitter resentment began to swirl in the pit of her stomach.

It was then that she considered Takatsuki Sen's offer; Hinami had kept the business card that the author had given to her, and after their last conversation, Hinami wondered if confiding in her once again would provide her some kind of answer. In the end, she was the only one that told Hinami what she always knew to be true - that she was weak, and that this weakness was poisoning her loved ones. If she could somehow counter that inadequacy of hers, Touka, Kaneki, and Yomo wouldn't have to endanger themselves for her sake. Just as her parents had done.

"What are the current movements of the CCG?" Kaneki asked and Yomo thought for a moment.

"Even though they ultimately won the battle in the 20th Ward, they need time to recover. Patrols are being covered by lower-ranked officers and there's a greater push for public surveillance. It is nothing out of the ordinary, however."

"Have they released any new or updated profiles on us?" Touka asked.

Yomo shook his head. "I don't think so. Not yet, at least. They're still compiling the reports on the recent battle. It'll still be a few weeks until they return to their usual investigations. In the meantime, I can't say for sure what information they have on us."

"Needless to say, it would be best if we kept our heads low." Kaneki adds, leaning forward. "Relocate, stay out of the public. We can keep our ears to the ground and if we find that it's too risky for us to stick around, we'll consider more…" He glanced at Touka. Her eyes narrowed with clear displeasure. "Extreme alternatives."

Touka tutted and turned her head away, bringing her coffee up to hide her face. She bit her lip and let the conversation fizzle away into a complacent silence. Her eyes drifted to the nearby window, the curtains drawn, but a slither of sunlight slipping through the gap in between the thick drapes. It was midday, the city was no doubt busy with activity and human life. Had this been like any other day, she would be attending school right now, preparing herself for college entrance exams. But now, she and Hinami were once again trapped indoors, confined by a life of endless struggle and despair.

How long would she have to wait this time before going outside again? Would she ever return to school? Probably not, Touka already knew. She wouldn't see Yuriko or try the cooked lunches that left a loving ache in her stomach, or enter the warm embrace of the cafe she called her home, where she'd see the welcoming smiles of her caring peers. All these memories were nothing more than figments of a life that has once again been stolen away from her. How was any of this fair? No, it wasn't fair, but it was a life she has always known. And still, with each new tragedy, she found herself crumbling under the pressure of it all, from the weight of memories that she'll never relive in the living world.

"I'm not feeling too well." Touka announced, placing down her coffee and standing from her seat. "I'm going to my room. Let me know if you need anything else."

Kaneki watched her, his heart twisting at the sound of her evident misery. Her eyes remained downcast, almost lifeless, and he was tempted to reach out towards her. But he didn't and instead, watched her as she walked to her room, shutting the door behind her. He bit his lip, looking down. Hinami shuffled in her seat, suddenly uncomfortable with the stiff silence between the three of them.

"She'll be fine." Yomo insisted, standing from his own seat. "She's strong. Always has been." He then looked at Kaneki. "I should be going now. We need to secure some food for these two. Will you be joining me?"

Kaneki hesitated for a moment, clasping his hands together. He finally replies with a nod. "I'll help in whatever way I can."

And with that, the two leave after saying their farewells to Hinami. Afterwards, Hianmi takes all the half empty mugs to the kitchen and wonders what she should do next.

. . .

The drive through the city was quiet. Kaneki wasn't sure where exactly they were going, though he guessed that since the raid, Yomo had found a new location to gather 'food'. Truth be told, Kaneki was still not fond of the idea of collecting human corpses for consumption, but he refused to do nothing whilst his friends suffered from his continued incompetence. It reassured him that, at the very least, he wouldn't be the one to eat the human flesh. That was what he kept assuring himself, but his stomach grumbled at the passing thought. Yomo gave him a sideway glance.

"I've heard," Yomo begins, surprising Kaneki. "That you've been consuming meat that isn't human." He pauses, but Kaneki doesn't respond. "Considering the poor state you were in when we met in Kanou's lab, I suppose those rumours weren't baseless."

It wasn't a question, so Kaneki did not answer. His stomach grumbled again, a protest Kaneki wanted to violently suppress. It was almost mocking in its timing. Yomo glanced at him a second time.

"Yoshimura is not here anymore. There's no more 'sugar' to placate your hunger." Yomo warned, his grip tightening around the wheel. "And if you have any intentions of consuming ghoul flesh, I'll be forced to cut ties with you and keep you away from the two girls, understood?" His sudden bluntness gave Kaneki goosebumps along his arm. "It's for their own safety. You are free to do as you wish, but I won't allow that kind of danger into their lives. They've been through enough."

"I know." Kaneki licked his dry lips, his fingers loosely laced together. The tall skyscrapers of Tokyo fell away to a pastoral scenery - a stretch of greenery beyond the road barrier that gave way to rocky climbs and cliffs. The setting sun peeked out from behind the skyline of pine trees, bright sun rays beaming through the cracks between the tall, wooden bodies in the distance. The pressure of the city seemed to slip away the further they drove, despite knowing that the chain that kept them there was rattling loudly behind him, promising them their eventual return to the hellscape they call home.

"I know," Kaneki repeated with a sigh. "I don't want to do anything that will compromise the safety of you, Touka-chan, or Hinami-chan. I'll…manage, somehow."

The words hung in the air for a moment, along with an uncertainty they both detected. "It gets easier over time." Yomo added, his voice low. "You learn to accept it, like with all things in life."

The journey continued in silence after those words. Kaneki wasn't sure how he should've responded, considering everything that has happened. Easier? No, it never gets easier, you just force yourself to tolerate the pain. Even then, the pain continues to bury itself deep inside you, twisting and turning with each and every day as a reminder of the wrongs you have committed. And maybe that was for the best - to be punished with that guilt, day by day.

But that was hardly a solution and it certainly did not ease the pains of those he loved. So in the end, what did it matter, whether it was easy or not? As long as his companions were safe, he could push through the pain of any wounds or injuries. Yes, that was all that mattered, he thought. With a small crack, Kaneki pressed his thumb down onto his knuckle.

There is no reason why we have to be protected by you.

Kaneki's eyes widened and then narrowed, lowering as Touka's voice drifted through his mind.

You want nothing more than self-satisfaction.

With each reminder, Kaneki winced and he leaned his head against the cool glass of the car window. The sun was sinking away and the sky began to darken as the night approached.

Trash like you should stay out of Anteiku!

Kaneki lightly touched his cheek, remembering the strong blow of Touka's fist against his jaw. It would've knocked out any regular human, a punch like that. Fuelled with bitter spite and anguish. He had apologised to Touka earlier, but seeing her leave the way she did, he wondered what more he could do to ease the pain in her heart. He was sure that she had more to worry about than their relationship, but even so, he wanted her to know that she could rely on him. Not because he deemed himself as reliable, but because she saw him as such and trusted him enough to confide in him. Perhaps this, too, was a selfish desire that he was now projecting onto her, it was hard to say. Regardless, he would not abandon her. He refused to abandon her. Not again, not like last time. This was something he had to make up for.

The car slowed to a stop and Yomo announced their arrival. Much like the last collection point, they were parked on the side of a lone highway that was curved around a steep mountainside. Another, empty car was parked in front of them, clearly abandoned. The two left the car and waited for any other cars to pass on. Following Yomo, Kaneki leapt down from the cliff's edge, landing on the soft ground with a heavy thud.

In the past, he had panicked and dramatically tumbled to the ground. It was embarrassing, thinking back to it now. Yomo must've had the same thought, examining Kaneki with an unreadable expression before moving to the nearby corpse of a human. Kaneki bit his cheek and tried to swallow his nerves, following alongside Yomo as he placed down the duffel bag.

Yomo first removed the clothes, placing them into a separate bag. The nude corpse was remarkably pale, the skin almost a transparent white. It looked like paper, the skeleton pressing against it. Despite its gaunt appearance, it still seemed relatively 'fresh'.

"If it helps at all." Yomo said, his voice loud against the quiet of the forest. He lifted the limp arm, gripping its forearm. "See it as no different than a ghoul's corpse." With a strong tug, the arm ripped off, the skin tearing and the thick blood dripping down onto the dry leaves beneath them.

"I suppose." Kaneki murmured. But they weren't a ghoul. It was not as if he relished the sight of a corpse, regardless of whether it was a human or ghoul. Seeing human flesh, however, was a reminder that he was no longer the person he used to be, and a constant sign that he was drifting further away from that person.

In a sense, he has already lost who that person was - what once was can never be again, it was something he was reminded of again and again. Still, it was a barrier he didn't want to cross, even if it was also apparent that he had little control over the matter. Not back then and not now. He was at the whims of fate, being flung from one battle to another until he became one of the many corpses that littered the roads of Tokyo. When that moment inevitably happens, maybe someone else will feed on his corpse, just as he has done with the bodies of others. Strangers left to be consumed, a forgotten bloodstain that would soon be washed away - no different from an unmarked grave.

"Could you remove the other arm?" Yomo asked, interrupting his thoughts. Kaneki swallowed, his mouth dry, and he nodded, reaching forward.

The skin was cold, almost like ice to the touch, and stiff and heavy when held. Mimicking Yomo, he tugged the arm and with one swift movement, the flesh tore away and the tendons snapped. The aroma was…embarrassingly pleasant, like aged wine. He quickly placed the arm into the bag and then removed the upper arm, trying hard not to look at the human's face. His mouth began to water and nausea began to rise up his throat. He swallowed again, trying hard to push down the bile.

Yomo, focusing on the legs, continues to instruct Kaneki on what to do. "Twist the neck and pull, make sure to detach the spine connecting the head to the body."

Kaneki nods and reaches forward, keeping his eyes low as he grabs the head. An image flashes in his mind as his fingers touch the body's ice-cold throat. Yamori's voice rings in his ears, demanding that he make a choice, and the sight of mother and child emerges, their throats being pressed between the large arms of their captor. Their voices are weak, their breaths raspy, and their eyes fill with tears as they look at Kaneki, begging him to spare the life of the other.

His widened eyes then look to the face of the corpse, its dead eyes seemingly staring back, empty and glassy, but all the while accusatory as they silently scrutinise Kaneki. He grips his own throat, the acidic bile rising, and he stumbles back, kicking the ground beneath him as he tries to move away from the body.

With a hard blink, the body then takes the form of Hide, the bottom of his face and throat hollowed with the bite marks of a starving beast. Hide's face limply turns to him, calling for him with his pleading eyes, empty and glassy. He grunts, futilely attempting to speak, the blood spilling excessively from his wounds. Kaneki shakes his head, tasting the blood on his lips. It coats his mouth, dripping down his throat, staining his hands. It's everywhere - a reminder of what he had done, what he had chosen to do.

"No!" Kaneki screams, gripping his head. "No! I'm sorry, I'm sorry!"

"Ken!" Yomo grabbed his shoulders, his voice anchoring Kaneki back down to reality. The body returned to its original appearance, its neck severed. He could no longer hear the other voices. "What's wrong?" Yomo examined him, his steely eyes giving away to concern. "What happened?"

"I was– I–" Kaneki breathed heavily, his chest rising and falling rapidly. He blinked a few times, suddenly dizzy. "I'm sorry." He leaned back, squeezing his eyes shut. "I'm sorry, I–"

"Forget about it." Yomo pulled him up onto his feet, holding him steady by his arm. "Go back to the car. I'll handle the rest."

"B-But…"

"Leave it. Just keep an eye out. I can do the rest."

With his last order, Kaneki nodded weakly and headed back to the car. A sense of defeat washed over him, along with an immense exhaustion that suddenly left his body feeling heavy and sluggish. He had wanted to be useful, but instead…

His stomach growled with a pang of hunger.

. . .

Touka fiddled with her parents' ring, the metal cool against her fingers. Silently, she read the names of her parents again and again. Arata. Hikari. Memories of her childhood trickle into her mind, remembering the warmth of her parents' hands as they walked alongside her. Their faces were…distant, vague, as if a fog was cast over them. She could remember her dad's face more clearly, especially the gentleness it carried, but her mum…she strained to remember specific details. She held the ring tightly in her hand, whispering their names, as if she were evoking her parents to appear before her. But no one would come, she knew. They were gone. Even Ayato was nowhere to be found. How long would they have to be separated before she began to forget his face?

Taking a deep breath, she tucked the ring back into her shirt. Even with her nervousness, she found the strength to get back onto her feet. Nihilism never suited her, even when it was nipping at her heels, taunting her to give in and give up. No, she wouldn't accept that. Not after everything she has been through. She had to look out for Hinami now, and she still had Yomo looking out for her. There was also Kaneki…she wanted to talk to him again. She wouldn't waste her chance next time.

Leaving the room, she noticed Hinami had fallen asleep on the sofa, her stomach sticking out. Touka smirked and pulled down her shirt, grabbing a nearby blanket and draping it over the small girl. Hinami looked comfortably peaceful when asleep, a sight Touka wished she saw more often when she was awake. No matter, Touka thought, brushing back Hinami's ruffled bangs.

There was a small knock at the door and opening it, Touka greeted Yomo, standing aside to let him inside. Shaking his head, he instead offered the duffel bag used to gather meat, along with a few dark containers for her to store the food in. Thanking Yomo, she briefly looked past his shoulder in hope that Kaneki was beside him. Seeing that he wasn't there, she tried her best not to look too disappointed. Despite her efforts, she seemed to have given something away, considering Yomo's next remark.

"I dropped off Kaneki earlier." Yomo explained, Touka nodding with some embarassment. Yomo frowned, seemingly hesitant with his next few words. "He tried to help me with the gathering, but he was deeply disturbed with the body."

Touka was silent for a moment. "Hasn't he always been like that? He freaked out the first time you took him, right?"

"He's changed a lot since then." Touka bit her lip, remembering how eerily calm he had been after seamlessly rescuing her from Ayato. "He was doing well for the first few minutes, but then…" His voice trailed off and he rubbed the back of his neck. "I don't have the wisdom or the kindness of Yoshimura and the others."

Touka nods slowly, but with the following silence, she stiffens, a brow raised. "What? You want me to talk to him?" She scoffed.

"You were once close." He retorted.

"Yeah, once." Touka muttered, crossing her arms. "But that was a while ago." She tutted, frowning and shaking her head. "I mean, what would I even say? I'm not exactly the most comforting person to be around."

"Well, it's up to you, I won't force you." He offers the slightest of smiles and turns to walk away, Touka wavering in the doorway. "I'll be back–"

"Wait!" She called, Yomo pausing and looking over his shoulder. "Hinami needs some clothes for the summer - could you take her shopping tomorrow, let her choose whatever she wants? I'll…go to the safe house and check on Kaneki." Her heart flutters and she presses her lips together. Yomo responds only with a nod and a confirmation of the time he'll arrive tomorrow. She quickly turns and then shuts the door behind her, leaning against it and heaving a big sigh. Shutting her eyes, she feels her heartbeat against her chest.

"He's never been this talkative before." She mutters, brushing her bangs back. "I guess it's not so bad…"

. . .

Kaneki laid in his bed, the covers pulled over his head so that he was in complete darkness. He hadn't slept much since yesterday evening, his mind rattled with too many anxious thoughts for him to rest comfortably. Yomo had offered him a coffee this morning - his own way of checking in on him, Kaneki supposed, or maybe he was going to pretend nothing had happened to save them the awkwardness of it all. Either way, Kaneki gently turned down his offer, giving the excuse that his head was hurting and that he just needed to rest some more. Yomo chose not to refute him and left soon afterwards. Kaneki was relieved and spent the rest of the morning in bed. He probably could've confided in Yomo, he thought, but he has always found solitude preferable during these moments.

No, that wasn't true. The truth was that with solitude came a creeping sense of isolation, a fear that he was truly alone with no one around to save him from loneliness he was being subjected to. When he was younger, Hide had reached out and drawn him away from this darkness, pulling him into a comforting lightness he hasn't known since.

Everything was different as a ghoul; the darkness he feared came with it the threat of death. He had been lucky enough to befriend those that would save him when necessary, though he knew that they, too, were skirting the line between life and death for his sake. He couldn't allow it, not if he could help it. And so he was forced to face this darkness alone, bringing with it a new fear that he'll endanger anyone else that tries to reach out to save him.

Knowing this, he cringed and twisted the sheets around him, gritting his teeth. If he truly understood this, why does he repeat the same mistakes? It was a thought that continued to cut through his mind, a voice in his ears whispering the accusatory "coward" with the familiar chittering of a squirming insect. An equation he didn't want to answer. He pressed his palms against his ears, shaking his head. He couldn't change the past, he wanted to say, but it continued to haunt him in the present. Like shackles on his wrists, like a noose around his neck, he couldn't escape. Not unless–

"Kaneki?" There was a knock on the door, along with Touka's familiar voice. He flinched and sat up, all intrusive thoughts ceasing their incessant noise. "Are you in?" She knocked again and he struggled to find the words to respond, as if he were in a dazed state. He hadn't been expecting her. "God dammit, will you just…"

She kicked the door open, causing Kaneki to jump in surprise and a little bit of fear. He couldn't recall if the door had actually been locked, but either way, it was a surprise to see such an aggressive response. Then again, it was a reaction he should've expected from Touka. She stepped in and gave him a judging look.

"It's noon, you know." Touka remarked, crossing her arms. "You look like shit."

Flustered, Kaneki rose from his bed and brushed through his messy hair with his fingers. He was suddenly conscious of how he looked - his wrinkled shirt and shorts, his pale complexion, his tired eyes. He felt almost exposed with Touka’s intrusion, though he would be lying if he said that it was entirely unwelcome. With her presence, his mind settled into a much-needed quietness, pushing aside all the horrible thoughts that kept him in a state of constant restlessness. Even so, he was still taken aback by her sudden visit.

“W-What are you doing here? Is Yomo here?” He asked, clearing his throat. Touka's lips parted, as if she were about to say something, but she sighed and shook her head. “What is it?”

“Nothing, I just…” Touka squinted, her eyes meeting his. "It's fine." She shook her head again. “Anyway, Yomo is with Hinami. I asked him to get some clothes for her.”

“Oh, I see.”

“Yeah.” She fiddled with her fringe, brushing it over her eye. Feeling something akin to defeat, Kaneki pushed the conversation forward.

“Is there something you need?” Kaneki meant nothing offensive with his question, but it was enough to make Touka twist her lips and frown.

“Is there a reason I can’t visit a friend?” She asked, evidently unimpressed.

“N-No.” Kaneki turned his face away, rubbing the back of his neck. “Wait, are we friends?”

“Do you want me to kill you?!” She asked with an immediate aggressiveness. Kaneki shook his head quickly, stuttering out an explanation. Touka let out a frustrated sigh and turned back towards the door. “Come on. I’ll make you some coffee.”

Confused, but uneager to incite her fury any further, Kaneki followed behind her to the small kitchen outside of his bedroom. Silently, she boiled some water and crushed the fresh beans that Yomo had stored away. Her movements flowed with a satisfying smoothness that Kaneki enjoyed watching, though with it came a pang of painful nostalgia that crept in the back of his mind. With Touka, however, it was easier to ignore the memories that intruded his mind. A light piercing through the darkness

“Are you familiar with this hideout?” Kaneki asked, continuing to watch Touka while she prepared two cups of coffee.

“Sure.” Touka answered. She poured the hot water over the crushed beans, slowly moving the kettle in a circle, just as they had both been taught. “I stayed here with Hinami for a few days before Yomo found you.”

“I see…” Touka placed a cup in front of him and sat opposite, the aroma of freshly made coffee drifting through the room. “I suppose that it was…probably good that he found me.”

“Probably?” Touka raised a brow. Kaneki pressed his lips together, gnawing on the inside of his bottom lip.

“I’ve caused a lot of trouble.” His voice was quiet, yet unhesitant. Touka winced, cupping her hands around her coffee. “Sometimes, I wonder if it would have been better if I had been left behind to die.”

He wasn’t sure what prompted him to admit these feelings to Touka - it wasn’t as if she had pushed him to confess his doubts. But seeing her here, sitting across from him and watching him with her beautiful, dark eyes, he felt compelled to share these thoughts with her. It was perplexing. Perhaps, after all that has happened, he was aware of how precious their time was together. He had already apologised to her, though there was a part of him that was unsatisfied, that wanted to assure her that his words were truly sincere. Maybe that was why these barriers that always kept her and others at a distance were finally being toppled, even if it was just for a brief moment. That was what he wanted to believe, in any case.

After letting his words hang in the air, sinking into her skin and sending goosebumps down her spine, Touka took a few sips of her coffee and placed the mug aside. “I…” She hesitated and looked away, her shoulders hunched. “I’ve also felt that way before.”

Kaneki was now looking at her directly, not entirely surprised, but still startled by her own confession. Unable to respond, Kaneki frowned and looked down into his coffee, seeing a dark, warped reflection staring back. Touka peered back, noticing his pained expression.

“I have always wanted to protect you.” Kaneki admitted, feeling the almost burning warmth of his coffee mug seeping into his hands. “I wanted to keep you away, in hopes that maybe then, you would be safe. Pursue an education, live a normal life.” He sighed. “Be happy.” He took a drink of the coffee, the delicious taste almost bittersweet against his tongue. “But I wasn’t able to do anything. In the end, I wasn’t able to protect you all. I'm always making things worse–”

“Don’t give me that.” Touka scowled, slamming her fist down against the table and startling him. “I’ve told you before that we don’t need you to protect us. We’ve been living this life longer than you ever have. We don’t need you to ‘save us’.” Kaneki’s eyes met hers once again, the kind warmth he saw before now replaced with a cold glare of contempt. “Can’t you see,” she bowed her head, her fist trembling. “You’re the one that needs to be kept safe. These past few months - all you’ve done is run into danger, again and again, and for what?” Lifting her head again, Kaneki’s eyes widened, watching tears roll down Touka’s flushed cheeks. “I don’t want you to die, shitty-neki. Why can’t you understand that? And you– You abandoned me anyway. You ran off to die, thinking that I'd be okay with it. I can't stand it.” Sniffing, her voice became a murmur. “Forget it, this was a mistake.”

Pushing her chair back, the legs scraping against the ground, she abruptly stood from her seat and rushed towards the door. Before she could leave, however, Kaneki grabbed her wrist, holding her back. Her skin was warm against his cold palm.

“Let go! I shouldn’t have–”

He tugged her back, grabbing her by the shoulders and she looked up to him, her eyes glazed with tears and wide with anxious worry. He gazes back down with calm, grey eyes, his pupils dilated. Looking into her eyes, he was constrained with conflicting thoughts, unsure what it was he should do. He wanted to comfort her, but how could he when he was the one causing her so much grief? Was it right for him to keep her here, to hold her back after her pained confession? Would it be wrong to let her go? What was the right thing to do? He wasn't certain, but what he did know was that he wanted to prove to her somehow that he would not leave her side again, if that was truly what she wanted.

They were both breathing heavily, their hearts loud in their ears. He moves his hands from her shoulders to her cheeks, his thumb brushing away the tears from her eyes. If only it were that easy to ease her pain, he thinks. Her eyes flutter shut, and it almost feels like she could fall apart in his hold - a tenderness she hasn’t known in so long.

“I’m sorry.” Kaneki whispers, kissing her forehead. “I’m sorry.” He then kisses her eyelids, his lips brushing lightly against her skin. “I’m sorry.” He moves his lips down to hers, their breaths intermingling. “I’m–”

Grabbing his shirt, Touka pulls him against her, their lips pressed together. Her mind goes blank for a moment, with nothing but the sound of her racing heart and the feeling of his lips against hers encapsulating her thoughts.There’s a sudden impulse for her to pull back, but Kaneki moves his hands to her waist, keeping her in place as he moves his lips against hers. With a small moan, he parts her lips with his tongue and she responds in kind, opening her lips for him and feeling his tongue move over hers. His hands squeezed her waist, twisting against the fabric of her shirt before pulling her body against his, making Touka gasp in response. His body was firm with toned muscles, his strong arms wrapping around her, as if locking her to his side. And all the while, her mind goes hazy at the sensation of their breathless kisses, her cheeks warm with the sensual intensity of it all.

But then he pulls back with a gasp, as if woken from a dream. He moved his hands back to her shoulders, his grip firm, and he bowed his head, his cheeks smeared with a red blush. With a slight shake of his head, he takes a deep breath.

"I'm sorry, that wasn't–" He tried to explain, stammering over his words. He looked up, with an almost pleading look in his eyes. "It wasn't my intention to–"

"It's fine." Touka mumbled, hiding her face with the back of her hand. She refused to look at him directly, her eyes darting between him and their surroundings. "It was…" She squeezed her eyes shut, her voice no more than a squeak. "I need to go."

Before Kaneki could stop her again, she darts through the door. Kaneki, left with nothing but the coffee she made for him moments before, tilts his head back, shutting his eyes and thinking through the moment they had just shared together. Her skin had been so soft, her lips tender against his, her movements shy and hesitant. It was so different from Touka's usual mannerisms, revealing to him a vulnerability he had hardly seen before. And there's a part of him that wanted to see that side of her again, to dig deeper and see what else there was to discover.

A little ashamed and embarrassed by these desires, he sat back down and rested his head against the table. He shouldn't be thinking of Touka this way. Before today, he wasn't even sure if Touka was willing to be friends with him after all they've been through. And within the span of a few minutes, the intimacy between them surpassed anything he could've ever anticipated. Even now, as he tried to think past the kiss they shared, his thoughts kept returning to the feel of her body - petite, but soft, his hands fitting nicely against the smooth curve of her hip. Her chest against him. He groaned, pressing his palms against his thighs. Was he allowed to have these thoughts, to think of Touka this way? He moved his hand to the waistband of his shorts, agonised by this inner conflict. He couldn't deny it, though. He wanted to feel her, to touch her, to hold her, to kiss her, to undress her, to caress her.

He wanted more.

. . .

Touka sat on her bed, hugging her knees. She still felt warm after her visit to see Kaneki. She leaned her head against her knees, grimacing. It hadn't been her intention to dump her feelings on him, much less kiss him. But he had reciprocated, right? Had he wanted to kiss her in the first place? Surely he must've, she thought with some worry. She tried to reason with herself, but each time she thought back to that moment, she wanted to cry out with embarrassment and bury herself deep into the ground.

In the end, had she really conveyed what it was she wanted to tell him? After their fight on the bridge, she had decided that she would apologise and be more mature in her response. Instead, her anger escalated once again and she started crying. Was she ever going to learn from her mistakes? She wanted someone to yell at her, to punish her for her immaturity. The last thing she had anticipated was an intense kiss with her…

She shook her head, agonising over the thought of it all. It would be a lie if she said she hated it - it was just unexpected. What was Kaneki thinking now, she wondered with an anxious uncertainty. It was all so confusing and it was impossible for her to know how to proceed from this point forward. If he had hated it, she continued to ponder, then he'd probably keep his distance. Even if he had, just maybe, possibly, enjoyed it, he would likely keep some kind of distance anyway. If he had enjoyed it, Touka thought while covering her face, would that make the situation any better?

Touka shook her head again, rolling onto her stomach and burying her face into her pillow. This was hardly the time to worry about something so…childish. Still, it weighed against her mind and the memory of the moment continued to intrude into her thoughts, as if it were a punishing reminder of what had happened. It was distracting, the thought of his body as she pressed her hands against his chest, the slight moan that escaped his lips…it was all too distracting!

She just hoped that she could calm herself down by the time Hinami returned from her trip with Yomo. The last thing she needed was others questioning their…confusing relationship, to put it simply.

In any case, that was the last time she was going to visit Kaneki alone, she decided. Touka knew, however, that this was not a promise she could keep.

[imgabysama]

For the headcanon game: Can I ask ■ ,♦&▼ for Amon?😀

Thanks for asking ^^

■ -  Bedroom/house/living quarters headcanon

Something organized and impersonal in first sight, very solitary, but with plenty of sunlight, I think Amon would also invest heavily in good mattresses, photos of people he considers important, when you start looking, inside the cabinets, reading notes you see how worried he is about everyone around him

Post Tokyo ghoul I can imagine him feeling more comfortable with more space, photos of him and Akira, somewhere in the house for him to exercise and hang with his kagune

♦ - quirks/hobbies headcanon

I think he is much stronger than the other ghouls, like Superman, like, Nishiki, Yomo and Banjou trying hard to get cars out of the way in the dragon arc, and Amon pushing a bus alone, he doesn't think it's a big deal since all ghouls are strong

I think he likes to swim, float, I like to imagine that he and Akira live in a beach town and he spends a lot of time in the sea (he is much more tanned in my headcanons)

Another hobby would probably be building, be it renovating the house, or helping to make a scratching post for Maris Stella, he can spend hours gluing, hammering, it's good for relaxing

▼ - childhood headcanon

He was a more adult child than the children around him, not like Akira, but he always had a sense of responsibility built into him, he knew how to take care of children, avoid accidents, everyone saw him as an older brother, so he feels really bad for not protecting them

[ipsen]

scrapped thing: kanou’s lab raid but different

this is a scrapped prototype of that “root a but it’s actually kind of original” fanfic that i was mulling over the other day. i’ve been sitting on this for a few months, but the direction, while pleasing (to me) isn’t quite where i want to start. the premise was also directly lifted from someone else’s fic on fanfiction dot net that hasn’t updated in like 5 years or smth idk

basic summary: yomo doesn’t appear to take rize from kanou’s lab. instead, it’s eto who appears to stall kaneki from pursuing kanou.

below the cut!

Shachi had taken Rize and left with Kanou. Kaneki would have pursued them in most circumstances. He’d come this far, and he wasn’t about to stop now. He had to fight. More, more, and more. To kill the king, and save Anteiku. To become strong, so that no one would ever trample over him ever again, so that no one could ever destroy his home. He refused to be the one who was hurt; he would do the hurting instead.

And now, at the bottom of the Yasuhisa mansion, his goal was suddenly much closer than he thought.

(“The One-Eyed King… might be that child in bandages.”)

“It’s good to finally meet you, Ken Kaneki,” Eto said, leaning over the edge of the railing.

Her cheeks were in her hands, and those black holes stared down at him. Kaneki took a deep breath.

“Join me. Join Aogiri, and I can show you the reality of this world.”

What a joke.

If the reality of this world meant your severed toes and fingers filled a bucket while a centipede aimlessly scuttled around in your brain, then he’d destroy it. He’d destroy all of it, everything that threatened his home. Everything that threatened his safe place.

Starting with the One-Eyed King.

(Yomo. Kaya. Enji.) (Hinami.) (Touka.) (It ends today.)

That was what Kaneki thought. That was what he’d left Anteiku for. To kill the king. To protect his home. And yet—

(“Kaneki. What if I told you that a ghoul named Yoshimura was responsible for the creation of the Aogiri Tree?”)

Kanou’s words echoed in his head, over and over and over. A nuisance. A fact? Kaneki didn’t know. He didn’t know, but he didn’t care. He couldn’t care; if he did, it would distract him. It would make him falter, make him weak. He was not weak. Only the strong survive, and he had survived thus far. He was strong. He was—

“What did you think of Doctor Kanou?” Eto’s voice pierced the maelstrom of his thoughts. “Much more interesting than I was imagining, personally. The twisted birdcage analogy really caught me by surprise. Maybe I’ll steal it some time.”

(A ghoul named Yoshimura.) (The One-Eyed King, leader of Aogiri.) (The bandaged girl is the king.) (Then this is—?!)

“Cat got your tongue? This was quite the foray for you, Ken Kaneki.” His target walked down the steps, her fingers gliding atop the handrails. “The world is different from how you perceived it, and you’re having trouble digesting it.”

She was distracting him. Kaneki knew that much. Her gait was casual, her steps light; she wanted to expend as little energy as possible when confronting him. Shachi had done a similar tactic with his intentionally sluggish movements, and he wouldn’t fall for it a second time.

“After all, what good is your strength if your reason is faulty?” Eto now stood in front of where Rize had been contained. “What good was leaving your friends behind if things weren’t as they seemed?”

Left them—? No, no, he didn’t do that. He was protecting them. He was out here, so they could stay in Anteiku. Where it was safe. He was out here, plucking the bad beans. He didn’t—

“‘I didn’t leave them.’ Is that what you’re thinking?”

(what?)

“Then let me ask you something—”

Kaneki’s body instinctively leaned backward as Eto appeared directly before him. He didn’t even register her presence until she spoke again.

“If you didn’t leave them, then where are they?”

(she’s right) (shut up shut up) (shut it out she’s distracting you she’s right there) (kill the king)

Two of his rinkaku tendrils wrapped themselves around his forearm, and with the bolstered force, he swung as fast as he could, aiming straight for her clavicle. However, Eto vanished just before he made contact.

(an afterimage?) (not even Shachi was—) (no, no. calm down. relax, assess, break down.)

“Wow! Nice swing.” Eto was now on the handrailing, crouched like a predator about to pounce. “Lovely kagune, too. Nice and dense.”

Kaneki’s eyes flickered around her, trying to predict—

“Trying to predict where I’ll go next?” Even with her face obscured, he knew she was smiling. “I’ll give you a hint: down.”

(she’s lying. it’s a ploy.) (so if not down, then—)

He sent two tendrils to flank her, a third directly at her, and then a fourth above. None found their mark, only destroying the walls and glass around her.

“I should’ve been more specific.” Eto’s voice came from beneath him. She was very small, he noticed, barely coming up to his shoulders. “Down here.”

Kaneki felt his diaphragm rupture, and he collapsed in a heap on the floor, all the air evacuating from his lungs.

“You’re such a peabrain, Ken Kaneki,” she said, squatting down as he gasped for air. “You’re clearly a very intelligent individual; I can see it in the way you approach your fights. You take in all sorts of knowledge and combine them into one fluid gesture.”

He saw a hint of verdant eyes behind those black holes, a void staring back at him, ready to swallow him at any moment.

“I was watching from Kanou’s security room. You borrowed some techniques from Martial Arts and the Body, by Gen Yasuda, didn’t you? Page 39, diagram 3?”

(why is she bringing this up? she reads?) (shit. can’t breathe…) (come on, heal!!) (YOU’RE SO CLOSE)

“Of course it was.” Eto yanked him up by his collar, and somehow he managed to stand. “And despite your rinkaku kagune, you’ve managed to perfectly replicate the Gourmet’s technique, a koukaku. You steal others’ work, then string the data together to make something all your own. How wonderful, Ken Kaneki.

“And yet, for all your hunger, all your knowledge, your view of the world is… narrow. You fashion a thin corridor for you to walk through, unable to turn around and see what you’ve wrought.”

Memories. Yamori, crying for help. Ayato, a helpless heap of his own skin and shattered bones. A ghoul, whimpering and at the mercy of someone else as they were devoured. Then another. And another. And another. A pile of corpses.

And him, the cause. His fault. His sins. For strength. To protect what matters. Only the strong survive. Only the strong eat. Only the strong kill. Then, to be strong was to be—

(“Don’t make me a murderer…”) (“I am a ghoul.”)

“Touched a nerve?” She danced around him, and he felt her use his back as support. “Good. Feel that. Remember that. Because it’ll never go away. Your sins, your ghosts— They’ll haunt you for the rest of your days.”

A trail of skulls that followed in his shadow. Ghouls whose names he’d never bothered to learn. Whose names he’d never learn. Their hands, their teeth, their arms all wrapped around some part of his body, creating a cloak that dragged across the floor and painted the road behind him in blood.

(“Know your weakness.”)

Kaneki felt his knees shudder under the sudden weight, threatening to crush him, but he stopped.

“I… I don’t care,” he muttered.

“Hm?” Eto pressed further down on him, trying to force him down with her weight. “How heartless, Ken Kaneki.”

“You’re the heartless one here,” he fired back, and forced her off of him, standing on his own two feet. “Aogiri… kills mercilessly. They don’t value life.”

“And you do?” She appeared again on the railing, sitting on it this time. “What do you really know about the Tree, Ken Kaneki? As someone who wasn’t there during the 11th ward raid, I’d like to know—”

He swung again with his kagune, feeling his airways clear. She moved faster than he could track her, but there was a tell. She took direct paths, meaning she leapt in a direction. As soon as he shredded the railing, he felt it for a moment. A presence, like the shadow of a bird darting over you as it flew.

In one swift motion, he seized Eto’s neck, finally connecting with her. It was thin, he thought, as he slammed her into the floor.

“Well done,” she said, and he began to squeeze.

He had to do this. This was the best way to protect Anteiku. Protect Touka and Kaya and Enji and… And…!

“Are you sure this is the right thing?”

(you’re so CLOSE)

“If you’re sure, Ken Kaneki—” her voice tightened as he pinched her airways shut, but she didn’t resist— “then I have one more thing to tell you.”

(JUST DIE ALREADY)

He lifted her up and slammed her a second time into the ground. It made those stormy green eyes wince. Good. For everything she’d done, she’d wrought, she’d suffer just the same.

(“A ghoul named Yoshimura” SHUT UP)

“You…” She reached up, slowly, and patted his cheek. “You have my thanks.”

(what?) (distraction.)

“For Yamori. He was a pest.”

(but what if—) (DISTRACTION)

His grip loosened ever so slightly, and he watched her eyes crinkle in a smile.

“Ready to listen?” she asked.

He swallowed.

— 

And that’s as far as I got before I decided to fully scrap it. Posting it here makes me feel better about doing that. Thanks for reading!

[luvl3tt3r]

Uta with a human s/o

•Uta never imagines he’d end up in a relationship, especially not with a human

•He tried his best to resist his feelings for you, because deep down he knew things between a human and a ghoul could never work out

•He distanced himself from you, but couldn’t get the thought of your precious face out of his mind

•He often found himself checking up on you and making sure you’re ok, and before he knew it, he was in love

•At first, he kept you secret from his friends. But unfortunately for Uta, Yomo quickly noticed the change in this man

•At first Yomo was incredibly disapproving, but after meeting you, he realized there was nobody else better suited for his best friend

•Uta eventually became infatuated with you, and found himself longing to protect you

•The scattered “did you make it home alright?” Texts slowly turned into him walking you home every night

•he even convinced yomo to teach you basic self defense

•Although disgusted by human food, for you he would try it

•Despite making himself sick, he would gladly do it again

•He didn’t want your relationship to be public, so he tried to keep you secret

•PDA was not allowed, and to be honest he liked it that way

•Your touch made him weak and he refused to become weak once more

•But in private he found himself longing for your affection

[tatatatatara]

Both Yomo and Tatara don't know how to deal with kids yet they still decided to tak care of Ayato and that little shit (affectionately) kept running away

[sleepdeprivedqueer]

Anime boys that I just know have a happy trail

Portgas D. Ace

It's literally mentioned in my fanfic Dancing In The Rain

It doesn't matter how many times he shows up in One Piece without a happy trail, he has one, there is no denying it

I do have a feeling that he would shave it though but with a little love and perseverance he could and will most likely keep it

Just imagine Ace on the deck of the Moby Dick doing heavy chores like carrying heavy boxes around and just sweating

Drops of sweat rolls down his chest and down to his lower abdomen and some even get stuck on the happy trail like how water gets stuck on a web

No one can convince me otherwise

Shanks

Nothing

In the history of anything

Could convince me

The first time I laid my eyes on this man's stubble face

Nothing screamed louder than "happy trail!"

This man is literally built for one, he has the body for one

I have a feeling he probably has bigger titties than Zoro

And you're going to tell me he doesn't have a happy trail!?

You must be smoking something because there is no way

I refuse to believe

He can most likely use it to seduce woman, I have no doubt that he does

Trafalgar Law

Man probably shaves it

Either that or it's trimmed very close to the skin where it seems like a stubble just starting to form

He looks a emo teen that never grew up in pre time skip and and with how teens look now with the full in fucking beard this man had to of had a nice happy trail at some point

He had to of kept it pre time skip but during those two years he must of been sniffing something while making medicine or something to get the feeling to shake it

All that I know, is that his S/O will have to beg for him not to shave it

Red Dead Redemption

Every man in this game has a happy trail, unless your Trelawny or the Italian man that took Jack, or most of the men in Saint Denis

Miche

I really don't think I need to uhm

Explain this but I have a feeling I have too

Not only am I convinced that he has a happy trail, but he also has chest hair

And that chest hair thins out into a line that forms into a happy trail all the way down his stomach and to his lower abdomen

Like I said, I feel l need to explain very much or anything at all so there you go

Carlos Oliveira

Have you seen this man

For those of you that have not

He literally has the hair of a fluffy and shaggy dog

He has the facial hair of what you would expect from a modern nice dog man in the west or maybe in the mountains wearing a flannel over a normal shirt

To add too it it's most likely a sleeveless flannel

Hell he's probably more of a mountain man that a western man

But anyways!

There is a literal mod for RE3 remake of his shirtless and not only does he have chest hair

But it also thins out like Miche's does into a happy trail down his stomach and lower abdomen

Just like Shanks and hell Miche too, he screams happy trail

But unlike the rest he gets his caught on a belt whenever he wears one

And he looks like he has a dog boy personality and in fact he has one so he does whine

Yomo Renji

Another one that screams happy trail

He has a stubble in his chin

If I remember correctly and you can fact check me on this

Ghouls aren't known to grow facial hair, so the fact that he has a stubble

It could mean he could have a happy trail

He has the body for one

[shewhoeatssand]

General TG characters and what pets they should/shouldn’t have

When I say “general” I mean the ones either from Anteiku or ones that were introduced before :re and aren’t shown to be part of an organization. I’ll do CCG and Aogiri characters later.

Hide - Our favourite blond boy! I think it’d be illegal for me not to let him have a golden retriever. He’d take it on walks to Johoku Chuo park on the weekends, and he’d name it Ethan after the first blond boy in The Blond Boys (the one who performs for the other boys with a ribbon baton).

Kaneki - A house cat. Just an American shorthair or calico from off the side of the road. This cat would probably live a very calm life, sitting on it’s owner’s lap while he reads, before suddenly being thrown into a house with a bunch of strangers and being fed scraps of human meat lol. I think it’d be very therapeutic for Kaneki to have a cat though, and Touka can look after it while Haise is happening.

Touka - A rabbit!! She should absolutely have a rabbit. She already loves rabbits, and I imagine the only reasons she doesn’t have one yet is because she doesn’t have the space, money or time to look after it properly, but if she did, she’d have a rabbit. Heck, she could have multiple rabbits. And she would spoil them rotten too, and buy them cute outfits and take them for walks to shrines and stuff (can you walk a rabbit? I hope you can). Just. Touka with rabbits. It would be amazing.

Tsukiyama - He must have horses. A bunch of them big sprinty bois. I don’t know horses very well, so I can’t tell you exactly which breed of horse he’d own (though I’m pretty sure I remember someone making a post about it!), but let’s say he has multiple horses of a variety of breeds. They’d probably live on a separate property dedicated to his horses, with a lot of land on it for them to explore. Shuu would also take photos of them in beautiful places a lot, and run a blog posting about his horses.

Yoshimura - A cage full of budgies, that would be named after different teas and flowers that Ukina used to like. They’d live upstairs in Anteiku, and be evacuated to Yomo’s shipping container when the CCG came to destroy Anteiku. Yoshimura would probably put pretty potted plants inside their cage for them to investigate every once in a while. I can also see him putting a large tank full of goldfish for the customers to watch inside the shop.

Uta - Another bird. But this time, it’s a big bird. Uta would probably like owning an African Grey bird, because it can be trained to say more words than most birds, and can therefore be used in some of the best pranks. Imagine being a dove, and chasing down a ghoul, but then it disappears around a corner and you hear “quick! He’s over here!”. Then this voice proceeds to lead you around in circles for 20 minutes, before the ghoul you were chasing earlier appears with a bird on his shoulder and kills you while laughing his head off. Typical day for investigators once Uta gets himself a bird.

Roma - Every time I see the name “Roma”, I think of the tomato. Which makes me think of gardening, which makes me think of guinea pigs. Roma would probably own exactly 2 guinea pigs, and they would be called Felony and Misdemeanor, however she would tell most people that they’re called Felix and Missy. She would feed them lettuce from her neighbor’s garden, and join race groups to put them in guinea pig races, then if her guinea pigs ever came last, she would kill everyone at the tournament.

Nishiki - I can’t believe I got this far without remembering Nishiki! He would have a chihuahua that was originally bought for his girlfriend Kimi, but then he ended up taking it for walks instead of her, and then it got really attached to him and now he sleeps next to the chihuahua more often than he sleeps with Kimi. If anyone ever laughs at him for owning a chihuahua, he will flip them inside out and hang them from a telephone pole, which he will make very clear to everyone. Good job Nishiki.

Koma - I can think of two things for Koma - either an entire giant catfish (yes! A whole catfish!) or a squirrel monkey, but I’ll go with the catfish for now because it’s funnier. Originally he wanted a trilobite, but when he found out they didn’t exist anymore he bought a giant catfish instead. Obviously he couldn’t fit the catfish in a regular fish tank, so he took it to a hidden pond in the woods and marked out a trail with a sign that said “Koma’s catfish trail” on it so he could remember where to go. He even put a collar on the catfish with a tracker before leaving it, and sent an Ape to the woods each day to feed it and update him on how the catfish is going. However, the government did not enjoy having a catfish trail that lead to an actual catfish in their forest, so they sent someone to remove it and set it free. So when Koma received news that someone moved his catfish, he tracked them down, brought 50 ghouls to their house, yelled at them for 2 hours, stole their toenails and threatened to kill them if they or another person moved his catfish again. Then he orchestrated a mission to find his catfish, followed the tracker, got his catfish and put it the fuck back because no one moves his goddamn catfish.

Irimi - A black doberman, as a group mascot, and a little pink axolotl that she buys miniature hats for. The hats usually fall off though. She takes the dog for walks in the same park as Hide, so sometimes when they see eachother they have to awkwardly say hello while their dogs yap at eachother very very loudly and attract the attention of everyone around them.

[fortune-fool02]

I'm sorry but I love the idea that Yomo waits until he knows no one is around before putting the radio on and actually enjoying the music. But then denies all knowledge of it.

Just imagine him singing along to the lyrics.

[lasttabris]

Ken Kaneki | One Eyed King [ Tokyo Ghoul: Re ]

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Name: Ken Kaneki Canon: Tokyo Ghoul: Re Canon Point: Chapter 98 / Chapter 132 / Chapter 179 Age: 23 Species: Half-ghouls/half-Kakujas History: Wikia

Personality (Chapter 45 to 98):

At chapter 45, Sasaki's current canon point, he was starting to doubt his identity. After having met ghouls who feared the "Eyepatch Ghoul" (who Kaneki used to be), he showed a lot of fear about becoming someone who others would fear, he was afraid of the things he had done as Kaneki and what he did to earn such fear from the ghoul community. He didn’t want to become "Kaneki, the ghoul of which other ghouls are terrified of". However, he still wanted to know who Kaneki used to be; as he saw Kaneki inside his mind, heard his words, as he met with old friends, even if he was afraid of who he used to be, Sasaki didn't want to let go of that person. He justified this as "the fear of waking up without knowing anything" and he felt like he couldn't cling to what was given to him, if he couldn't even remember who he was.

This struggle would eventually come to an halt. Thanks to events in canon, Sasaki was sent on a mission by the Commission of Counter Ghoul, to attack and eradicate Tsukiyama Family - the family of Shuu Tsukiyama, one of Kaneki's old friends (which he forgot about). While meeting Tsukiyama did not bring Sasaki's memories back, someone else helped with that: Eto, aka Sen Takatsuki aka the Leader of Aogiri Tree (a quick reminder that Kaneki was tortured by Aogiri Tree in canon, long ago). Eto enters the battle and literally beats the hell out of Sasaki in order to trigger his memories and she is very sucessful in that.

In order to understand the shock, imagine what it's like to have years of memories returning to you in such a short moment; Sasaki learned everything he had forgotten about Kaneki and learned who he truly was. Memories of the abuse lived by his mother, memories of his torture, memories of his loss, memories of the terror lived, as well as memories of the terror caused and memories of the awful things he did. Sasaki "went to sleep" that very second and Kaneki "woke up" once again, full of grief, full of despair, full of pain and suffering. All of this, aided by the fact that one of Sasaki's subordinates (Shizaru) died during the operation, lead Kaneki/Sasaki into a whole new phase of his life, which we call "Black Reaper Kaneki".

This is one of darkest, saddest and most emotionally heavy stages of Kaneki's life, even more so than Post-Aogiri Torture. After realizing he helped to exterminate his friend's whole family, after realizing that he sent Hinami to jail where she'd eventually be disposed of, after realizing that other important friends KNEW Kaneki was alive as Sasaki (Touka, Nishio, Yomo) and yet they never came for him, after realizing that again he lost someone important to him and he was far too weak to do anything, Kaneki went into a spiral of self-hatred and became rather disgusting himself. He accused Urie (one of his subordinates) that he was weak and Shizaru's death had been partially his fault due to his lack of ability, for example, something that Kaneki would have NEVER said in any other phase of his life. This was also when Sasaki - no, Kaneki - decided:

"This time, I want to do something that will allow me to be loved by everyone. A good thing, a bad thing, it doesn't matter. And after that,

I want to die in style."

During this time we have little to no insight on what is happening within Kaneki and all of his actions show him to have turned cold stone, cruel, downright sadistic. He is set on going after Aogiri Tree and their leader to capture her, and in his path he leaves body after body, exterminating the ghouls he sees without caring they are lives that he just took (unlike Sasaki, who despite obeying orders, tried not to be cruel). He is also seen to have departed from the Castle where he lived with his subordinates; during this time, Sasaki severed contact with his "children" and joined another investigator called Furuta in order to hunt for Takatsuki/Eto. Finally, he also stopped visiting Hinami and her date for extermination started drawing near without Sasaki ever bothering to visit her. All through the 6 months that passed by, Sasaki kept this scary and especially creepy smile on his lips, and seemed to only be set on Aogiri and capturing Eto.

This was truly a very dark phase, but not without its merits. While Sasaki seemed to forget everything else, he didn't. His plan to capture Eto and send her to Cochlea Prison was but an excuse to have the CCG focus on Aogiri and their leader alone, and Sasaki would use that as a diversion in order to save Hinami from Cochlea; that would be his very last stand, one that would make him loved by everyone (his friends, such as Hinami, Touka, etc) even though it was a bad thing. And after he'd fight Arima, his own father, in order to give Hinami enough time to escape, and finally he'd die by Arima's hands.

But not all is lost. Or that terrible it's still very terrible tho. During his fight with Arima, there was quite a lot that Sasaki learned - but above all, he learned to want to live. At first, his battle with Arima was merely one to stall but never to win; as Kaneki was facing his own father, he never expected to win against him, the one who was said to be the unbeatable ghoul investigator. As such, Sasaki fought him like a dead man, someone welcoming death and someone like that could never defeat Arima.

And when he was at the very end and about to give in and die, Hide came into play. Certainly Kaneki was simply hallucinating, but that was the person he needed to see and the person he needed to remember; his subconscious took Hide's form and told him exactly what he needed to hear:

"I'll say it as many times as it takes for you to hear it. It may not be stylish, but…

LIVE."

On the verge of death, he has a revelation. In a beautiful moment, Kaneki realizes not just that he actually doesn’t want to die, but that all those voices and messages that he's internalized, all the people he’s been living for, were actually things that he himself was thinking. For the first time in a very long time, kaneki finally desired to live and this is by far the biggest step forward he ever took.

Perhaps a lot of it was about obligation to the others he still had to save, or perhaps he wanted to find a reason to live and couldn't give up just yet - if he died now, he'd never find one - but whatever it was, it gave him the will to live. As so, Kaneki stopped wanting death. He had to live, he couldn't be killed by Arima - and this is one of the most important parts of his current personality: Kaneki wants to LIVE. Death is no longer his reason, but LIFE is. And he also realized that everything that went on through in his hazed mind, the hallucinations he saw, the people he heard whispering at his ear, Rize and Hide, and even all the people Kaneki and Sasaki have been living for were actually things that his own subconscious wanted.

He doesn't want to die and he will live. And so his battle with Arima will end only one way: with Kaneki's rebirth. And victory.

The moment Arima realizes he has lost and yet kaneki would not kill him, he cuts his own neck in order to die. While this was a huge shock to Kaneki, Arima manages to explain during his last breaths his position as a half-ghoul created by a group called V, who happen to be the Washuus - the creators of the Commission of Counter Ghoul. So Kaneki learns about the hypocrisy of the Washuu ghouls who wanted to be humans and shaped the world according to their own selfish desires, deeming all the other ghouls creatures to be murdered while they controlled humans to do their bidding. They even went as far as creating a breeding program called "Sunlit Garden" to produce half-human/half-ghouls (though the Garden children were failed experiments) in order to fulfill these desires. Arima also proceeds to explain that he met Eto and both worked together in order to find A KING, a figure everyone had been long searched by everyone and that represented Hope for a new world, and for a revolution. In his last moment, Arima admits to be said King, the One Eyed King, a title Eto gave him and he never disputed.

Even though Kaneki did not kill Arima, Arima asks for him to say he did in order to take the title of the One Eyed King, and thus he'd inherited a special kind of throne: a ghoul and a human throne, and to give hope to both these worlds - and Kaneki is indeed the best choice as he has lived in both worlds and often spoke of the balance between the two and showed kindness towards both. With this new king, the revolution would start: against the world, against the Washuu/V, against the humans who only saw ghouls as monsters to kill, and against the ghouls who only saw the humans as food.

Kaneki was chosen for many reasons, but his duality takes great importance. After Aiogiri he considered himself ghoul only and as Sasaki he considered himself human only - but once he regained his memories he stood with a bit of both and he became once again both human and ghoul, which is a kind of duality neither Eto or Arima had despite their hybrid nature. Ultimately both Arima and Eto had to pass on their traits in order to create a newer better One Eyed King and thus hope for a better world for ghouls and humans. And Kaneki was perfect to fill that role since he someone who despite all the harsh things happening in his life still was kind and thought of others first, someone who cared for both ghouls and humans, someone who would rebel rather than kill and destroy, and ultimately someone who had the chance to see and feel so much.

Even if all of this sounds wonderful there are many dark sides to it. It's necessary to remember how much of an unreliable narrator Kaneki is and how much he blinds himself. Long ago Kaneki hoped to be “born for love and revolution”, however his rebirth and placement as king is quite questionable in terms of love. While Arima DOES love Kaneki, in the end Kaneki was emotionally manipulated into becoming the king by that same man, and was also manipulated by Eto who made sure to bring back his memories and slap him around so he'd fight back. He was technically forced into the throne when he refused to Kill Arima and Arima decided he'd just kill himself instead.

Someone as emphatic as Kaneki could never say no to Arima's last dying wish which was for him to take the throne. It's also important to remember that Arima's and Kaneki's relationship was never 100% positive; at first, Arima saw Kaneki as nothing but a pawn to use and he is even seen dragging Kaneki's thorn up body like he is trash - while feelings change with time and Arima's certainly did too, it's important to remember he still used Kaneki and there was a lot of manipulation involved, and Kaneki does NOT see that.

While Kaneki can certainly make plenty of choices from here on now, as he has returned to the duality he once forgotten, he currently only has Arima and Eto’s plans as a guide to move forward and once again he was pushed into this role rather than choosing it by himself. However, as both Arima and Eto were pushed aside (now dead), so it becomes questionable to what exactly IS the plan now. Kaneki never knew what he could do to stop the divide between the ghouls and the humans, and while things are certainly changing, there is still much left to do and much left to decide. And there will still be much bloodshed too; after all, this throne was built by two very violent people (Eto and Arima) and Kaneki has much tendency to take up his parental figure's world views and that could lead to even more violence.

Kaneki needs a stronger sense of self, which he still needs to learn to have in order to break the cycle of violence he was pushed into.

Personality (chapter 98 to 132):

We last left Kaneki as the One Eyed King, a throne kept by Arima Kishou and warmed up by Eto Yoshimura, both now dead and, which they gave Kaneki to continue. He and his friends managed to escape Cochlea Prison - there were many losses but main characters don't die, so those deaths are okay.

To make things easier to understand, I’ll give you a summary: the CCG (the governmental group that fights the ghoul threat) are actually ran by ghouls, the Washuu Family, who have a special ghoul army made of half-ghouls, all of them born at a place called the "Sunlit Garden" and all of them came from the Washuu bloodline (like Arima). Rize Kashimiro, the ghoul whose organs were transferred into Kaneki (and turned him into a half ghoul) was one of the Sunlit Garden ghouls who would give birth to the half ghoul children, but with the help of one Furuta Washuu (an unwanted child, not even a half-ghoul) she escaped the Garden. Furuta, in love with Rize, realized she only used him to escape and decided to do more: Furuta joined a group of incredibly dangerous ghouls called the Clowns and they literally caused every incident that has been happening in canon - yes, even Rize's attack on Kaneki and the transfer of her organs into him by Dr. Kanou were orchestrated by the Clowns and Furuta (Kaneki isn't special. He was just there, it could have been anyone else). With the help of the Clowns, Furuta kills every Washuu and takes over the CCG as the last heir, and starts to call himself the new KING. He becomes Kaneki's main enemy, which kaneki will continuously ignore. With Dr. Kanou (who has access to Rize somehow), they start creating ANOTHER army, this one made of children - the Oggai, who underwent similar ghoulification process Kaneki did and have Rize’s organ.

As Kaneki leaves the CCG and becomes King, many ghouls join under his wing. Ghouls he released from Cochlea Ghoul Prison, past enemies, past friends, ghouls who were under Eto's command, and also humans who were under Arima's command. They brought along some people who didn't want to be brought along (such as Akira, a ghoul investigator, and now a traitor) and Dr. Kanou's past ghoulification experiments such as Amon, Takizawa and Kuro. As the word that the One Eyed King has returned spread, more ghouls joined Kaneki's group and this became his army - and this is how the anti-human organization "The Goat" was created. On the other hand, Furuta fed the public, the media, the CCG and everyone, about the evils of Kaneki Ken, the ghoul who betrayed Japan and now a national terrorist, and promised everyone to end the ghoul era once and for all, by exterminating every single ghoul, which quickly causes his popularity to rise fast. Kaneki's children, the Quinx, remained by the CCG side, and while one of them - Mutsuki - grew more and more unstable, the other two - Urie, Saiko - begun to question what the fuck is Furuta doing.

INTERMISSION IS OVER. BACK TO KANEKI.

Kaneki found himself with a title he isn't sure what to do with. He had both Arima's and Eto's reasons in his hand - to break the way this world runs and start a new, to bring hope to the ghouls and give them a place in a world that has always rejected them - and Kaneki claimed he'd continue the previous King's last wishes: create a world where humans and ghouls can understand each other. As someone who is from both worlds and had his human-ghoul duality returned to him, kaneki is certain that they can do it, and both sides need to talk it out. That sounded like a sensible speech, but Kaneki quickly added that of course humans will not listen at first and that's why kaneki decided they'd bring the talk to them by force.

This however, worked quite well on ghouls. Because they have always been repressed and oppressed, they would not believe in peaceful conversations and Kaneki had to bring force to the table as it's the one thing ghouls understand the most. Ghoul violent nature automatically expects violence and they do not believe something like an understanding could be achieved without any force and bloodshed; with this Kaneki was able to step up as the King of Ghouls and was able to make it clear to all ghouls following him that he KNOWS this world he claims to want to help - this shows great intelligence about working with the masses, but in the long run it will not be enough.

While it seems that kaneki wants to help a whole population to rise from the shadows of a world that despises them, actually all of this is much for show. Kaneki is a very simple person, and none of this actually matters to him. The reason why Kaneki remains as King, not only was because of Arima's last dying request, but also because he believes that holding the position of King will work better to keep his people safe, the ones he truly loves and cares for; he is not a hero neither wants world peace, which doesn't fit the definition of a great leader and it's very selfish, but Kaneki still is the boy who lives for the ones who are close to him. It is very selfish in a way that Kaneki only cares for people as long they are close to him. He may sympathize with other, but overall it depends on his own people: he only takes the side of those he can see, and most of them happen to be ghouls which is why he decided to "give it a try at fighting" for ghouls and be the King of Ghouls.

It’s true, Kaneki is actually a pretty terrible King. He makes more mistakes than right decisions, and people close to him do notice that. Kaneki at first believed that having Furuta the power was more convenient but soon we see that he completely underestimated Furuta the moment he released the Oggai, made a show out of killing ghouls and forced the Goat into underground. Another thing was how he forbade ghouls from killing humans, even though ghouls were being killed; this not only left Goat's defenses weaker, but it also left everyone hungry and Kaneki’s way to appease the ghouls was through nice speeches (it worked to calm them down, but it didn’t fix anything). While kaneki can lead a small group, is intelligent enough for it and can make good decisions for that group, he is unable to lead and control a large group of people who highly depend on him; kaneki doesn't know how to be king and he doesn't have the right mindset to lead the Goats as King because he is focused on just his people and not everyone else.

Continuing the line of "Kaneki is kind of messed up", he still has a hard time understanding friendship and love. His motivation to save everyone is so he won't be alone, and tries to take most of the weight of it all by himself. He was so set on deciding things for everyone, deciding to leave them or not let them help in any way because he was the one who had to protect them and do everything for them. It's good to remember that Kaneki was (and still is) someone who will leave people and often does that under the excuse he has to protect others from being hurt, so they have to stay away.

Thankfully the last chapters of the manga show us he is changing. People who support Kaneki have told him to not to take everything on himself and Kaneki agree to it: he has started depending on others, to the point he doesn't feel like he has to control everything. Kaneki, who believed he had to make decisions for them, started to show he is listening to people, he is accepting that they CAN and WILL handle things even when he is not there. Regarding friends, Touka bluntly called Kaneki out on how he puts people into the box of “People I want to protect”, rather than experiencing individual and meaningful connections with each one of them, and at the same time he’s also lonely because he pushes people away since he is afraid of losing them. When she did this, Kaneki moved forward (a bit) and allowed himself to finally accept a more meaningful connection with Touka: THEY BECAME LOVERS.

At the same time, Kaneki is still running away. He claims he is fighting for ghouls because the people he loves happen to be ghouls. But let's not forget the Quinx, friends from the CCG or Kaneki's best friend Nagachika Hideyoshi, are ALL humans. It will come a time when humans are part of the equation as people Kaneki loves, and telling himself that fighting for his friends equals fighting for ghouls will no longer work. Right now, he blinds himself and turns away from this.

While Kaneki is (VERY) slowly changing, some things don't change. Kaneki abhors violence. To write this seems like a really big contradiction, especially after he created a terrorist group and mentioned force to get humans to listen. But Kaneki uses violence as a necessity. As King, he forbade his ghouls from killing humans and it shows him to be quite the hypocrite in many ways: he is okay with ghouls dying but not humans. The theory is that ghouls are very used to violence and work best with it. Kaneki could only make ghouls listen to him when he brought up it would be by force, Naki only joined him after Kaneki defeated him in a fight. "The strongest guy takes it all". But on the other hand, humans don't work like this, their world is different from that, and automatically Kaneki does not react violently to them, and goes to a huge length not to kill them. This is very hypocrite and kind of wrong though.

In truth, even that logic doesn’t really hold up for him subconsciously either. Kaneki is so afraid and disgusted of violence that he quickly spirals down into self-hatred and trauma when he remembers some of the things he did. Kaneki suffers from a bad coping mechanism that makes his actions illogical - he copes with his fear of being violent by only being violent to people who ‘deserve it’. And in this case, ghouls do because they live with violence. In some way, Kaneki still sees ghouls as violent monsters and it's alright to pluck out the bad ones; while choosing to kill or spare is a response to conflict, it doesn't mean his motivations are right. And they are very wrong, considering his position as the King. Kaneki is a mass murder of ghouls, insists on saving humans, and yet he is the King of Ghouls.

It's good to remember that Kaneki is still on a journey to understand himself and others, and has always struggled to find a sense of self and a reason to live. Not so long ago, he was set on killing himself and he only did what was told to do. In fact, that's his coping mechanism and symptom of his need to find a reason to live: he prefers to obey because it gives him a reason. Of course now he is King, and there is no one tell him what to do and he has to do it all by himself. Which is very difficult when you don't have a strong sense of who you are. Kaneki also accepts that he is selfish and his motivations to be King are too, and he isn't even excusing his selfishness and (by extension) his loneliness and insecurities – he accepts it. And that's a good step because before he didn't realize it. He has to learn to see the world (which he claims he doesn't care about because he doesn't see it), has to learn to look at other people as more than just "my people", he has to learn to actually see and connect to those people better, and he has to move forward and stop seeing all of those people through his abandonment issues (that ultimate started when his mother died).This is happening all very slow because kaneki is a very static character unless someone punches him to do it. Kaneki takes small steps forward and while it doesn't look like much, they are extremely important for his growth, but it's still very slow.

But since we mentioned Touka above, let's focus on her, because she had a huge impact on kaneki. The two fell in love before they even realized, but Touka mentions how Sasaki would visit the shop and eyed her with the same eyes Kaneki once looked at Rize; a crush, so to speak. It's no lie Kaneki always had a soft spot for Touka and always actively tried to push her to achieve her own happiness, but the development of their relationship only started when Touka herself gave the first step because Kaneki was too dense to do it otherwise. While their relationship seems a bit rushed and out of the blue, the fact is the two connected at a deep level due to their abandonment and parental issues, and issues with their nature; it's perhaps not the best reason, but it was reason enough for Kaneki to understand and finally accept something that he always thought it was impossible to happen unless he did some huge sacrifice: he is loved. Kaneki never saw that before, even if he was. And this was the first time we’ve seen Kaneki bare himself for anyone. Their relationship is very gentle, they do care greatly for each other. Their first time (we got a whole chapter of them doing the do awyis) was pure emotion and with a lot of vulnerability from both parts, even though they usually avoid showing anything, but bared it all during sex; with so much happiness and the overwhelming sensation of love and care, Kaneki even cried. Vulnerability is a big important thing for both, as they both often refuse to be honest with their feelings. This doesn't solve all the issues, but it's a step to solve the self defeating component of Kaneki’s relationship with others that does not allow him to receive affection because he genuinely cannot conceive that people will want him around in any capacity, so he must work to earn it.

But it's important to know the two still have many issues and Touka uses her feelings to keep Kaneki away from suicidal thoughts, which he has shown her to still have at times. Other bad news is that now his happiness resides in Touka’s hands and he has seen her as the one to protect the most and his ONE reason to live - so much he married her right away and BY THE WAY she is pregnant (kids. Use condoms on your first time). Which, per se, wouldn’t be a bad thing if they weren’t so codependent but both cling to each other so hard as a hope to breathe under all the shit that continuously happens to them; was anything to happen to one of them, they'd just spiral down and all the progress made so far would fall flat (or worse. It'll be worse. It always is). On a positive note, Kaneki also watched Touka make decisions for him and seeing her doing that pushed him to make his own decisions as well. He often runs from them (for example, the issue with the food and the Goat) but watching Touka making serious decisions regarding her pregnancy in order to protect their baby, Kaneki decided to try and become more assertive and made decisions on his own, such as forming an expedition to go find food for the Goat - which is yet another big step for Kaneki.

Personality (Chapter 132 to 179)

Kaneki came from a canon point where he had married pregnant Touka, was king of Ghouls, the CCG (the governmental group that fights the ghoul threat) was ruled by a crazy person called Furuta and meanwhile the others who worked at the CCG started realizing things weren't right. Things with Kaneki's kingdom weren't alright either, since he was starving his people by telling them not to hunt humans. Furuta created an army called the Oggai, 101 children who underwent similar ghoulification process Kaneki did; these Oggai had Rize's organs as well, just like Kaneki does, and keep this in mind because these 101 child coffins are incredibly important to Kaneki's own transformation.

Fueled by his wife's own stubbornness and choices, Kaneki decides to make a choice as well: move his best fighters to go find a source of food for the ghouls Kaneki has been slowly starving. This means leaving behind weaker ghouls (including Touka, since she is pregnant) at the hideout and you bet the second Kaneki and his army step away from the hideout, Furuta attacks with his Oggai. Luckily for everyone (is it really? REALLY??), kaneki comes just in time to save his wife and little sister (Hinami) before they are slaughtered, but in turn Kaneki is the one who gets slaughtered. Absolutely overpowered by the Oggai and Furuta, Kaneki concluded his wife, baby and friends would die if he didn't act.

So Kaneki acted.

And he ate the Oggai. All those 101 children were viciously consumed by Kaneki in a desperate move, and the overload of kagunes from the Oggais' bodies cause Kaneki to suddenly transform himself into a new sayan form: the Dragon. The Dragon is pretty much a huge, uncontrollable and self-sufficient kagune that emerges from Kaneki and rampages through Tokyo, destroying half of it and eating everyone in its way (humans included). However, the dragon is ultimately separate from Kaneki; While the dragon emerged from him, the original host is Rize's lifeless body: she is dead in every sense of the word but thanks to all the Oggai Kaneki consumed (all of whom had parts of Rize within them), Rize's body was rebuilt and it became the host for the Dragon. Kaneki was but the trigger and ultimate Rize became the womb: the dragon produces a toxin that turns humans into ghouls and turns other ghouls into parts of the dragon.

The Dragon was Furuta's plan from the start and with it he hoped to bring a common enemy to ghouls and humans alike, thus uniting them in utter chaos and death. A fitting destiny for a world Furuta thought to be a tragedy (kaneki and Furuta are strangely alike), but it does work: ghouls and humans join together to face this threat. Kaneki remains inside of the Dragon after doing his part, but everyone seems to love Kaneki and decide to go save him (it sounds stupid, but this is to show how much Kaneki is loved, something he always refused to believe it could be possible). After locating him, they manage to pull Kaneki out of the Dragon and they find out getting Kaneki out was not only very sappy but also a smart thing to do: because Kaneki has a part of Rize inside himself, he is immune to the toxin. And thus he can go back to the dragon, find the host (Rize) and cut her off from the kagune, so the toxin won't be produced anymore.

And that's exactly what he does, like a good shounen hero. As he "kills" Rize again, the dragon starts falling apart.

AND WE ARE STOPPING HERE, and we can now go into Kaneki's actual growth.

Honestly, Kaneki is a good person. That's something we can say for sure. He is a good person and wants to be a good person and tries his best to be a good person. However, like tragedy that befalls him at every turn, kaneki does a lot of wrong things. Things we would look at and say "I'd do better", things one can easily say "I'd never do that", things we can, as the audience, judge easily. But with honesty, would we be so different from him? That’s the struggle Kaneki goes through the most, maybe things would’ve been different, but maybe they would’ve been worse. Ultimately you need to keep going. Pushing forward is an important theme. But sadly one Kaneki hadn't embraced yet; by focusing so hard on the "what ifs", kaneki focused on his non-humanity, on his mistakes, and acted focused solely on them.

And this resulted in him seeing the world as a tragedy. Kaneki focused so much on his losses, he couldn't see the people he still had. He focused so much on the sadness he felt, that he couldn't enjoy the happiness that was all around him. He felt that the world was so wrong, that all the right things he had were but a lie. However, there is a shift from this mentality when finally Touka gave the first big step, and then a full shift when Kaneki surfaces from the Dragon.

Touka's love was one of the big steps for Kaneki to go through things. She became easily his reason; Kaneki is someone who has been starved for affection since he was very young; he always yearned a place to belong, which he thought he'd never be able to have due to being a half-ghoul. In truth, this is Kaneki's main struggle: he didn't have a balance between his ghoul nature and his human nature. And this struggle is seen the way he treats ghouls as well: by continuously telling them they couldn't hunt humans, he threw them into starvation and would rather have them starve and grow weaker by the day; ghouls dying is still not as bad as humans dying. But with Touka, things started shifting. He felt truly accepted and truly wanted for the first time, by anyone ever (these are not rational thoughts, and not true – but this was what Ken believed). Ken’s primary flaws and struggles have all stemmed from his mother’s inability to put him first, and yet Touka makes the very choice that he always wished that his mother had made. He is finally truly loved and the first within someone's heart.

When he was saved from the Dragon, despite everything he did, despite destroying half of Tokyo on the way, people still came for him. People he loved and thought he didn't deserve; people kaneki truly believed if he didn't push away, they'd see the wrong things he does, and yet when he did something SO BAD, they still came for him. He realized he was loved. Kaneki himself has a lot of questions as to why people even love him and honestly this is a good question to ask. There is a lot about Kaneki that simply comes from him trying to please people; Kaneki is a people pleaser and acts certain way to make others love him, and so others love him for that. But there are still people who will love him even when his masks fall and who will come for him even after that acting has vanished and that's what truly touched him.

Even without masks, some still love him.

The Dragon also helped Kaneki to learn he wasn't really the epicenter of everything; Rize was Furuta's plan all along, Kaneki was just there and thus he was never really a target. It shows that his tragedy was never the important part. Kaneki was selfish in the way that he saw mostly what he wanted to see; by falling into the victim role (naturally, many times he WAS indeed the victim, but not everything that happened to kaneki was due to that. A lot of it came from his own tragic understanding of himself), Kaneki often played the innocent. Kaneki cannot be a victim in all circumstances in life, his choices have to exist somewhere. Especially when Kaneki makes himself the center of a revolution, and the strongest ghoul among ghouls. Many times things were laid out plain and simple in front of Kaneki, and yet he continued to be blind towards them simply because they were not about him. The political state of the CCG, Furuta's plan (which he ignored until the very last), or even the Oggai, these were things Kaneki could have seen if he saw beyond himself. With the dragon, he realizes he was blinded all the time, and he is not a revolutionist and not the strongest, he is just some random guy who was there; even when it comes to Rize, kaneki saw that to her he is just really some guy and most likely she wouldn't even remember him if she was alive.

Owning up to his own state is a good step to finally realize his own selfishness, which is inherently related to how he saw the world as well.

For a very long time, Kaneki kept the mindset that his life was a tragedy and he was the main character. He'd move from a tragedy to another, he'd submit himself to one tragedy to avoid another, and ironically making him more alone in the process. He'd use "the world is wrong" to justify his own personal suffering. But with everything happening around him during and after the dragon, Kaneki comes to realize that the world is what we make of it. There is nothing inherently tragic about it; we are all the main characters of our own novels, and we write them based on everything around us. The world does not have a moral quality to it, it's not wrong or right.

The world just is.

And that means the world is a blank canvas and if you do right, you do right, and if you do wrong, you do wrong - and you simply move from that. Kaneki finally realized there is no invincible godly power holding him down, only people, circumstances and conceptions that can all be challenged and all be changed. And although we have death, we have life too.

It's good to remember the Dragon was also a kick to Kaneki's own hypocrisy, his own mistakes he continued to hide from and to almost deny. Kaneki knows he did a lot of wrong things and he know many of his actions are absolutely disgusting, which is why he had so much self-hatred (still has, that doesn't just vanish). But he always found ways to justify himself, or he'd spiral down. Not just the fact that the world was wrong, but he didn't fully consider ghouls people, he answered a lot with violence, he killed SO MANY; but he'd come up with pretty unhealthy coping mechanisms to get through it. It's important to press it's not Kaneki's fault for coming up with a poor coping-mechanism, but it is ultimately his fault for choosing to see the world the way he did. However, the murder of the Oggai as well as the many people in Tokyo certainly gave him a push to see things how they are. Not just them, but everyone else Kaneki killed before. He also realized he had really bad coping-mechanisms to deal with everything he has done.

He set up seemingly hypocritical boundaries like “killing ghouls fine, killing humans no, but I’m the ghoul king” because it was literally the only way he could live with himself. His loved ones did not help with this either because they constantly turned a blind eye to this; they knew Kaneki absolutely loathes himself and in hopes not to break him further, they did not bring up these strange contradictions and the bad things he did. After the Dragon, it was impossible to hide that and Kaneki finally accepted to see what HE did, did not come up with a strange hypocritical boundary to try to justify it, neither did his loved ones turn a blind eye because it was right there in front of everyone.

Do not deny your mistakes and your actions. And don't pretend they aren't there just because you love someone. See them for what they are. But realize that those actions sometimes come from unwinnable situations; Kaneki turned into the dragon because he ate the Oggai, yes, but if he hadn't done it he'd end up losing everyone dear to him (and he'd die too. And let's remember that Kaneki finally stopped feeling suicidal. He no longer wants to die). It's an impossible situation where he'd lose regardless. And what he did was terrible and it's his fault, and everyone sees that and doesn't deny that. And now, it's something he will have to move on from, taking into consideration the situation was impossible and he made an impossible choice. But it was still his choice.

The killing of the Oggai was honestly a pretty difficult thing to think of and it's easy to see why it was such a tipping point. Kaneki, a soon to be father and a person who has so many times adopted children under his wing, stand up and murders 101 children who were being used by a madman, and had no fault in what was truly happening. Kaneki understands the nature of act he’s committed, and while arguing killing children is absolutely vile, the Oggai would have killed Kaneki's baby and also all the children from Kaneki's kingdom if they hadn't been eaten. Furuta accused him of never learning; of always choosing himself. He’s always put his own moral righteousness above actual life. He’s never killed humans, never choose one life over another, and never made an honest decision that forced him to take responsibility for his actions. And for all of that, he has done nothing but suffer.

And so he finally does make a choice: kill, and put an end to the senseless murders the Oggai might commit in the future. Kill, and save those innocent children and the people he loves. Kill, and take control of the the life he’s been handed. Kill, even at the expense of others. In life, in the world, you steal and you are stolen from. And then you face head on the consequences of your actions. And so Kaneki did.

And no more excuses, no more trying to come up with a crappy coping-mechanism that won't make sense. Kaneki is a murderer, Kaneki killed 101 children. Kaneki saved his own life and is still alive. Kaneki saved his loved ones and all the ghouls in his kingdom. Kaneki was manipulated by a madman who saw destruction as unity. Kaneki caused the dragon to emerge and destroyed half of Tokyo, killing hundreds more in the process. Kaneki went back to the dragon and once again killed, this time Rize. Face all of that.

And so he will.

And as he faces it, he moves forward, finally glad to be alive.

[coredrill]

gridman universe spoilers BUT LIKE FOR REAL THIS TIME LMAO

i just. oh my god. oh my GOD. how is this movie everything i wanted since learning of its existence AND everything i didn’t even KNOW i wanted??? i cried reading it in TEXT FORM god only knows how much more it’s gonna hit with ANIMATION and MUSIC and VOICE ACTING UGH.

[redacted] in the [redacted] UGHHHHHH this makes me tear up every time i think about it!!!!! they put his ass in middle school…………AND FUCKING. EXPIRATION DATES I CALLED IT I KNEW IT WAS SOMETHING DUMB I LOVE HIM SO MUCH

EVERYTHING WITH ANTI…………………..wails

how is gauma MORE slutty with MORE clothes on. i love his goofy ass sosososo much 💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖 knowing i have more of him to look forward to bring me genuinely a HUGE amount of joy

hearing that yomogi cries when they reunite……….YEOWCH!!! me the fuck too yomo!!!

i was hesitant abt them bringing akane back but literally everything she does sounds like it was handled absolutely beautifully and omg she absolutely deserves it 😭

GRIDMANS FINAL FORM……………also geez i am SO HYPED for the 2d anim. like ssss/trigger uses 3d so so well i always look forward to that too but also NO WONDER they brought all the lagann-hen animators back!!!!!! amemiya was correct, that oscar is his for the taking LMAO

imagine being that japantimes reviewer saying “it was contrived” when that’s literally the last thing that matters 💀 could not be me!!!

AUUUUUGHHHHHHHHH ANYWAYS. my soul has been healed but also i’m like ten gridillion times more antsy to see the fuckin thing now LMAO. PLEASE………….US RELEASE………..SOON

[ninjaimagines]

Hi! Could you please do headcannons for Yomo with a human s/o? Please and thank you. Also hope you're doing well and you and your family are safe and healthy!

please dont take this the wrong way, but truly i wish my parents would get it so they would stop being dickheads to me. 

Yomo is naturally protective of his s/o, even more so with a human s/o. He knows what kind of people and things are out there, and he doesn’t want any harm to come to them. 

He likes learning how to cook for them, he wants to be able to do that for them, even if it grosses him out. 

Yomo doesn’t introduce them to his friends for a long time for many reasons. He isn’t sure on how many of them will react, and he isn’t sure if his s/o would be comfortable around that many other ghouls. 

He loves taking cheesy pictures with them and posting them. It’s his little way of showing them off. 

[eatmekaneki]

-(Some) Tokyo Ghoul characters kink and sex theories-

-18+ content-

A/n: this is just for fun! I’m sure it’s not what everyone thinks. If you have different opinions feel free to send in asks!! (kindly lol) ❤️ enjoy!

(Also I gotta give @sukuna-bby credit for some of the juuzou one based on a discussion we had 😂)

Kaneki

- I see him as a switch?

- I feel like he’d be very gentle with you and not quite into degrading you

-but he wouldn’t mind being degraded though.

-loves leaving hickeys and marks all over you

- but also “baby boy” 💕

Juuzou

- mommy kink...I mean that’s basically canon right?

- this boy would definitely not mind you giving him all the pain he could take

- knife kink!

- I’m not sure what this would fall into but I could see him just wanted to fuck you somewhere dangerous. Like on a ledge super high up or some shit.

- he would definitely bring a lot of brattiness into the bedroom

Uta

- this man would definitely want you to call him daddy.

-he is a hard dom and will bring all his own toys and rope and chains to go with

-he would love to see you all tied up for him

- “we’re fucking with the masks on”

Tsukiyama

- he would go down on you for hours and want to talk all about how good you taste

- he is a pleaser and would likely get off just on you getting off

- would spend days planning and setting up a scene for the two of you to play out and would obsess over making it just perfect down to the last detail.

- would come up with all sorts of sweet pet names to call you

Ayato

- praise kink and size kink. Tell this boy all about how much you love his giant cock and he’s yours.

- a bratty Dom

- I could see sex being a very emotional and passionate thing for him, he wouldn’t give himself to just anyone so if he chooses you he’s going to treasure you.

- but...also would probably be into degrading you and calling you his little slut.

Yomo

- daddy. Just... daddy. Enough said

- also would probably be a very caring lover and partner and very concerned with making sure you’re enjoying yourself and getting off too.

- hair pulling and spanking you, probably owns his own custom paddle just for you

- he loves ass and thighs and will obsess over and worship yours.

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Okay that is all for now lemme know what you think ❤️ please like and reblog if you enjoyed ❤️