#you are twenty years old and your life is irrevocably destroyed

[paigemathews]

Do you ever think about what Wyatt and Billie’s relationship would look like? I mean, do you ever think that maybe he sees Billie as an omen? A prophesied witch with not only extraordinary power, but projection specifically, that evil has hunted and desired for years, to the point of creating intricate plots to turn them from a young age? (While my Wyatt doesn’t realize yet, the fact that Billie and Wyatt both fell into evil’s clutch in the past? That their redemption came at their sibling’s life? That their deaths can be traced directly to them?)

Imagine Billie post-series, who has lost. honestly, everything in under a year. She went from a confident, headstrong newly-discovered witch determined to save the day to a powerful witch who lost her entire family and was manipulated and used by evil to attack good as a whole. After all of that, I don’t really think that you walk out of that without it becoming a deeply impactful and integral part of your experience.

So a Billie who is more subdued and removed from magical affairs. A Billie who knows the price and risks with magic, especially her own. A Billie who learns how to master her magic, because she’s already seen the consequences of her failures, but there is no real need for it anymore with the lack of demonic attacks. And she is asked, by the sisters who she betrayed and had to earn their trust again, to help teach a witch just like her to control his powers.

Beyond her own experiences, do you think Billie ever told the sisters about Dumain showing her what Wyatt was supposed to “become”? Or did she just chalk it up to his lies and manipulation? And even if she did tell them, do you think that the sisters would be able to tell her? When they themselves never actually knew how bad it was in the unchanged future? When they’re still unsure if they can trust her again and handing her that information includes telling them how, despite all of their power, they could still do nothing as a son/nephew died in front of them?

So she tries to impart how important it is that Wyatt uses his powers for good, not to harm. She trains him to control his power, tries to teach him to respect it as something incredibly dangerous. She conveys over and over again that projection is powerful, but dangerous and if you’re not careful, it can create a lot of harm. She isn’t his only teacher, but she, with her own history and the same power and the knowledge that he will outclass them all and that vision that is bad enough without considering what else he is able to do, is the one who is able to understand best. Piper and Phoebe and Paige are extremely powerful, obviously, but their power is rooted in their bond and that itself helps keep them in check because there is a balance. Billie, her sister (the key) dead and her as the real Ultimate Power, is the closest to knowing what that’s like.

Except Wyatt is Wyatt, his mother and father’s son in everyway but especially his heart. He’s the child who tried to prevent conflict before he was even born. He’s the child who took everyone’s burdens on himself as his to solve before he could even speak. He needed to protect his loved ones, no matter how powerful they individually were. When he failed, he blamed himself. When people struggled, and he couldn’t help them, he blamed himself. Not only does he blame himself for not being able to save or help people, he pins his entire worth as a person on his ability to help. This is the child who thought that he deserved to die because of his father’s grief and inner turmoil, something he wasn’t even to blame for. And he sees so much of himself in Billie, sees her story as a warning if he is to slip to the wrong side, if he is to be blinded to evil and used as a weapon. He takes every message that Billie tries to teach and internalizes it just a little bit too much, takes it just a bit too personally.

And imagine what happens. Billie, who can relate to Wyatt’s potential future just a bit too much, trying to teach him caution and instead teaches him fear. Wyatt, who sees a bit too many similarities in Billie’s past, transforms her lessons of control and innocents into repression and his value. Because they see those similarities, but they don’t quite see the differences and those differences change everything.

[lovelazarus]

rating: Mature

archive warning: graphic depictions of violence

words: 2645

tags: Self-Harm, Suicide Attempt, Suicidal Thoughts, Self-Harm (fairly graphic), Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, graphic description of suicide attempt, Flashbacks, Trauma, Fluff, Fix-It of Sorts, Dean is alive, Castiel is alive, Hurt/Comfort, POV Dean Winchester, brief mention of John Winchester - Freeform, Canon-Typical Violence, Sad with a Happy Ending, John Winchester's A+ Parenting, Past Abuse, Homophobic Language, 15x20 Fix-It

summary: (This fic starts out with a graphic dream/flashback of Dean's mid-20s.) Cas showed up to save Dean in 15x20 after he let himself get impaled on rebar, his attempt to stop living while thinking Cas was truly gone in the Empty. It's been a few months since that event in the Barn. Things have been calm since Chuck lost his power & Jack brought Castiel back to help rebuild heaven (although Jack isn't in this directly!). Even with things being okay, Dean's decades of trauma are still bubbling up and Dean has to face the reality of his actions (past & present).

PLEASE read all tags before reading!

The last thing Dean remembers is sitting down on the couch in the Deancave, waiting for Cas to come pick tonight's movie. He must’ve dozed off at some point because suddenly it's 2004 and he’s 25 years old again.

The two years Sammy was off at Stanford was one of Dean’s lowest points in life; including his trip to hell, being a demon & helping kick start the apocalypse. He was completely alone.

Sam was gone, John was irate and blamed Dean for Sam leaving, for not stopping him from leaving. Dean was hunting alone, without his family, for the first time in his life. His last hunt however was the first to deeply scar him irrevocably.

A father and 2 sons, roughly the same age apart as him and Sam. Both attacked by an extremely vengeful spirit, the father was gutted and the sons were supernaturally manipulated into hanging themselves. Dean walked into their house hoping to save the family after following trails of the case, but he walked into a gruesome scene that left him shaking and holding back from vomiting.

In Dean’s mind, it was a representation of his own torn apart family. He left the home, found the grave of the spirit, and put it to rest with unsteady hands and bleary eyes.

“I’m sorry I didn’t get to you in time… I could’ve saved you and I wasn’t there. I wasn’t good enough to help you. I’m so sorry.” Dean whispers, half to the victims and half to his younger brother, thousands of miles away and unable to hear his plea.

He gets to the motel room he rented with his duffle slung over his shoulder and stands outside the door with the key in his hand, almost afraid to enter, lest he finds another sick and twisted scene inside. He exhales roughly and shoves the key into the door and strides in.

All that's inside his cheap bottle of gas station whiskey and a pack of menthols.

He drops his duffle on the extra twin bed before scooping up his liquor and smokes. He wants to erase this entire hunt from his mind if he can.

Oh, how he wants to.

Three hours later his whole pack is gone, cigarette butts shoved into an old ashtray, and 3/4th the bottle of whiskey is sitting harshly in his stomach. Dean can’t stop picturing that family as his own. Thoughts of his father’s anger circle inside his mind like a tornado.

“I told you to watch out for Sammy, boy! Do you even use that brain other than to continuously disappoint me and fail your brother? To fail Mary?”

HIT

“I left you alone for two weeks! TWO WEEKS THAT'S ALL! Now Sam has run off and you’re going to pay for it.”

HIT

“So you blew through all the money I left you and now you’re turning tricks like some little faggot? You’re going to influence Sammy to that shit and I won’t allow my sons to be like that.”

HIT

With each memory of John rushing back into Dean’s mind, he can still feel the physical hits coming. His dad was right. This would never have happened if he hadn’t been more careful. If he had protected Sam like he was told to. If he had been a better son.

He finishes the last of the whiskey as the screams of his father’s voice start to fade back into the black void inside his mind. But the moment the last drop of liquor touches his tongue, he breaks. Every punch landed by his father that he took in order to protect Sam comes rushing back. Every harsh word and drunken fight he got into. Every argument with Sam over being too controlling, too much of a soldier.

Dean feels sick.

The toilet in that crappy motel room has certainly seen better days, but no matter how much Dean vomits, he stays just as drunk.

In a moment of blind anger, he destroys the kitchenette, the TV, and the nightstand. He chucks the empty whiskey bottle at the wall and watches the glass fly everywhere as it shatters.

He absent-mindedly picks up a large piece of glass.

This could kill me. One quick and easy slash to my neck or wrist and that’d be it. No more pain for Sam, and no more disappointment for dad.

He lets his hand drop to his side and allows the shard to fall to the floor. This isn’t the first time he’s had thoughts like this in moments of weakness, but it's certainly the first time there was a calm push behind it. He collapses to his knees with a broken sob. He doesn’t want to do this anymore. He's tired.

God, he is so tired.

Dean isn’t sure when he decided this was his only option to stop the deep visceral pain he’s feeling, but it's where he’s at now.

Swallow all the pills in the med bag? No, that's what bitches and girls do, plus… it's painful.

Slit his wrists in a nice warm bath? Even worse than pills! You really are some kind of faggot, aren’t you?

Shotgun to the face? Now that's the man’s way out.

He pauses, looking over to his favorite sawed-off. It’ll be an absolute mess if that’s the way he goes. He thinks again to the family he couldn’t save; how gory and horrific it was. He shudders and breathes in sharply. He can’t do that to someone else, especially not some innocent civilian.

“Of course,” he mutters under his breath “I have a rope in the trunk.” So that’s the plan.

He stuffs all his shit into his duffle, writes out an apology to Sam, Bobby, and John (it’s a suicide note, but it doesn’t explain anything), and then he ties a military-grade noose. He finds a chair that isn’t completely destroyed by his earlier rage and begins to tie the rope onto the ceiling fan.

He stands there for a moment, contemplating. “Am I really about to do this? I’ve fought monsters and demons and ghosts for twenty years and this is where it ends?”

He shakes his head and shrugs.

“Always knew I'd die before thirty.”

He raises the noose to his head and just as he is about to slide it around his throat… The chair breaks apart, and he's left lying on his back with the wind knocked out of him.

“FUCK!” he manages to yell out before his lungs and chest start burning again. Tears begin to pinprick at his eyes as he lays motionless (and probably concussed, he didn’t break his fall at all). “I can’t even kill myself right.” he thinks to himself.

Slowly, he gets himself off the floor, groaning at the pain in his skull and back as he does. Crawling over to his bed, he sees the glass shard he dropped earlier.

“I just want to stop this fucking FEELING” his mind screams. “Just do SOMETHING you worthless son of a bitch!”

He picks the glass back up.

Everything is hazy when his brain starts to come into focus again. His hands feel slick and wet, so he brings them to his face to see what he touched.

Blood.

His own blood.

Three long gashes across his forearm, roughly a quarter-inch deep and four inches long each. He needs to stitch himself up for sure.

30 minutes later and it just looks like a hunt gone bad, his arm is sewn up and all the motel towels are stained red.

For a fleeting moment, he feels at peace. The rush of discovering what he did in a fog of failing to kill himself and the overwhelming feeling of failing his family, he feels like this was something he deserved. Like he deserved to be punished.

After an hour of dissociating and staring at the wall, he passes out and sinks into a moment of silent nothingness. No nightmares, not yet.

Dean practically jumps out of his skin when he hears Cas’s voice from the doorway.

“Dean? You look pale. What's going on?” Castiel asks with his familiar cadence.

Dean wishes he knew what brought that memory back up. Instead, he plasters on a fake smile and shakes his head reassuringly the best he can.

“Nothing Cas, just thinking I guess. What took you so long? You burn the popcorn or somethin?” Dean knows he sounds insincere, he knows that Cas knows, too. He doesn't want Cas to worry any more than he already does, though.

“Dean, your heart rate sped up and you were on the verge of hyperventilating, what happened?”

Damn it. He should’ve known Cas could still do that weird x-ray angel shit. Instead of trying to hide it further, he sighs and motions for Castiel to sit beside him on the couch.

However, he blanches when Cas passes behind him and brushes his hand against Dean’s shoulder. Cas sits down carefully, not to overwhelm Dean. Castiel has seen him during a flashback before, especially after hell. Cas looks inviting, ready to listen to whatever Dean has to say. Cas was always trying to be open with him lately, Dean knows it’s because of the struggles the last six months.

Cas dying, if briefly. Dean ALMOST dying, because of it.

Wait…

That's when Dean realizes.

Every time he’s lost someone, it's been bad. Drunk passed out on the floor, let Baby be filthy, run into hunts without any concern for his safety, bad…

The two worst times were when he lost Sammy, and when he thought he lost Cas to the Empty.

Dean must’ve been sitting there with a strange look on his face for a while cause Cas reaches out gingerly to silently ask if he’s alright. Dean gives him a half-smile and lets out the breath he was apparently holding.

“Cas, did I ever tell you about what I did in 2004 when Sam was off at Stanford and I was hunting by myself?”

Cas tilts his head in that endearing way he always does, “Not that I recall. Is something from back then troubling you now still?”

Dean clenches his jaw and runs a hand over his mouth, a nervous tic he picked up from John decades ago. “I did something similar back then to what I did in that barn. I gave up.”

Castiel’s eyes widen a bit, starting to understand what Dean is trying to say, but staying silent, to let him get this out.

Dean cracks a wry chuckle, “y’know, when you pulled me outta hell and into my body again, I was surprised you wiped the slate and got rid of all my scars.” He glances at Castiel, just for a moment, to see his reaction. It's soft but a little confused.

“At the time, I thought you would like to come back whole. A fresh start after what you went through in hell. I know now that life is about the imperfections and that the littlest things have meaning and memories. I’m sorry if I took those from you, Dean.” Cas meets Dean’s eyes with apologetic fondness and sincerity.

“Cas, it's okay. Really. Sometimes… I don't know, there's some scars I just miss sometimes.” He runs his hand along his forearm, where the self-harm scars would’ve been. “The ones that were here… they gave me a constant reminder of what almost happened. What I almost did.” Dean can feel his face getting warm as he talks about it, eyes watering up but no tears slip down his face.

Cas seems to nod along, waiting for him to continue with concerned patience. “I tried to kill myself back in ‘04. Sam was gone and doing fine without me, he had Jess. Dad was pissed at me for not getting him to stay and hunt. I had no one. I hit a low point after finding a really fucked up case about a vengeful spirit that gutted a family, father, and two sons…” Dean chokes up, as he pictures the glazed eyes of the corpses he found. A shiver runs down his spine as he can still picture it like it was yesterday.

“You saw your father and Sam in them and it brought up a lot of emotions, that’s understandable.” Cas tries to reassure him but doesn’t quite understand what Dean’s trying to get at.

“I got drunk after I salt and burned the spirit's corpse. I felt empty inside and like nobody needed me. I couldn’t save those kids and I didn't see any point in saving myself…” tears are now flowing gently down Dean’s face as he tries to push out what he needs to say, what he needs Cas to understand about this. “When you, when you said all that stuff before you left… I felt that same exact way. Even though I had Sam and Jack and then the whole bullshit after with Chuck and Lucifer and Michael… I felt so damn alone. Like I’d failed you, cause I couldn’t even save someone I love the most.” Dean’s voice goes harsh as he full-on sobs at those last few words.

The past few months since Castiel has been back, they haven’t talked about Cas's confession before being taken by the Empty, and Dean hasn’t said it aloud (even though his mind is screaming those three words every time he looks at Cas). Dean feels Cas touch his hand gently, reverently. A sob violently racks his body as he looks up into blue eyes also filled with tears.

“I’m so sorry Dean. I’m sorry.” the last word catches in his throat as Dean grabs his hand fully, intertwining their fingers.

“I know Cas. You did it to save me. You seem to keep doing that, huh? From hell, saying yes to Michael, Billie, from myself…” Dean softly strokes his thumb against Cas’s hand while tear tracks continue to stain his face. “Cas, thank you. I know I’ll never be able to pay you back for all that you’ve done for me and for Sam but… thank you.”

They lock eyes for a moment, Dean knows Cas loves him and he knows he loves Cas. He can’t think of a goddamn thing standing in the way right now. Dean releases Cas’s hand, cups his face, and brings their lips together, finally.

It takes a moment for Castiel to understand what's happening, but he quickly catches up and kisses Dean back fervently.

Cas tastes like summer rain after a long drought, like lightning and thunder all at once, like earth and something ethereal Dean can’t quite place. Cas tastes like coming home, and he is.

“Me too, Cas. Son of a bitch, I love you too.” he whispers into Cas’s mouth as Cas lets out a sob-laugh.

They pull apart for a moment, hands still against each other's cheeks. Communicating with their eyes is something they’ve mastered after 12 years, but there's something unknown now. Something new, something hopeful. And dammit if Dean isn't going to latch on to that hope.

They decide on an old western, Dean’s seen it a hundred times before. They’re leaning into each other silently watching as Dean’s eyes begin to close. He can feel Cas running his fingers against his arm, where those scars would’ve been. It's then, in the comfort of his Angel, that Dean falls fast asleep.

For the first time in 40 years, he doesn’t have nightmares. Not of yellow eyes, not of losing Sammy; not of John’s anger, not of hell; the apocalypse, Michael, Chuck, losing Cas… it all feels distant and far behind him now. When Dean wakes again, Cas still has his arms around him, eyes closed, and is running his fingers through Dean’s hair.

Dean knows all his trauma won't just vanish, but in this moment with Cas...it feels possible.

[dust2dust34]

Our New Normal (Olicity, post-8x10, Explicit)

(read on AO3)

The glowing numbers disappeared as she slowly pushed the laptop shut.

Felicity took a deep breath and dropped her head on her crossed arms. Her glasses jabbed her in the nose. Scrunching up her face, she threw them away to land on the pillow she’d woken up on just a moment ago. The very nice pillow in the old Italian villa that she and Oliver had stayed at all those years ago. Except this wasn’t actually Italy. Not that Italy, at least. It had everything their Italy had on Earth 1. Or rather, Earth Prime. Whatever.

Chest tight, Felicity settled on her arms again and closed her eyes.

They immediately flipped back open and latched onto the half-closed laptop.

She could still see the ghostly glimmers of Smoak Technologies’ numbers running across the screen that had just been on an announcement in the Gazette of a wedding engagement.

One good thing about your husband housing a supernatural entity with nearly god-like powers? He had access to computers that let her keep track of things in the world she came from, no matter where they were. Even in a realm that didn’t technically exist… or that existed outside of the multiverse as newly created… or was a bubble outside the… bigger bubble, or…

Felicity sighed into her arms.

They had talked about it at length. She’d asked a thousand and eleven questions and he answered them all as much as he could. But long story short? He was immortal and he policed the new cosmos that he’d basically rebirthed. Oh, and when the Monitor opened the door for her back to her husband, she’d bounced back to the age she’d been when the Monitor had first come for Oliver. And double oh, she was in a sort of… pause. More like Oliver had hit the pause button. She wouldn’t age like she had, because here, in this world, time didn’t exist like that.

Which meant they would, in theory, outlive their children.

The gaping hole that ripped into the center of Felicity’s chest took her breath away.

A warm, callused hand on the small of her bare back pulled her out of her morbid thoughts.

The mattress next to her feet dipped, and then by her hip, and then a heavy, familiar weight fell onto the bed next to her. That very specific, very well-known earthy scent that was all her husband filled her nose. She breathed him in as he smoothed his hand up her spine. A wave of goosebumps erupted under his touch followed by a shiver she felt in her toes.

Felicity turned to face him.

“Hey,” her husband said, his voice soft and gentle, and that beautiful smile…

Her heart jumped at the sight as her own lips curled up in response.

It was as natural as breathing, just like Before. Except now it was a little more insistent. A little more desperate, even. As if she were preparing. As if it might be the last time. Which was ridiculous. She knew that. She was here, with him, and she was staying with him. Forever. But she still wasn’t used to it. When someone spent twenty years missing another person? Twenty years of learning to live without them, of trying to move on out of necessity, of being terrified to let go of that love because the thought of it fading away was worse than death? Well, it made remembering that this new reality of hers was actually happening a little difficult.

Until she looked at him.

And just like that, all the tension melted from her muscles and she relaxed into the bedspread.

His hand paused, his smile faltering the tiniest bit.

Oliver’s eyes lit on the laptop behind her.

She stiffened before she could stop herself.

“Just trying to reach my daily stalking quota,” Felicity said. His eyes found hers again and she plastered on a grin. “Is breakfast ready? Guess I should find a shirt. Although let me tell you, I’m getting way more used to seeing all this young skin I definitely did not appreciate enough when I had it. I should’ve walked around like this way more often. That makes it sound like I’m going downstairs shirtless, which I’m not. Although I could. It’s not like anyone’s here to stop me. But then I don’t think much eating would get done. Well, not the food kind of eating. Although if you lose your shirt, too, I know those abs of yours would make an excellent plate. Lots of experience with that. And whipped cream. All over. All… over.”

And she was babbling.

Years ago, she would have thrown out a joke to cover any accidental faux pas. But that was then.

“Which we should do,” Felicity added. “Like, right now. I’ll make you a whipped cream shirt.”

Oliver laughed, and her next smile was real. Her babbling had come back hard and fast in the last few weeks. It was refreshing and a little startling considering the somber brain-to-mouth filter she’d gained after his funeral had never gone away.

But that it still made him smile like that? It could stay lost forever.

“I am definitely a fan of losing our shirts.” But he didn’t move to take his off, or kiss her, or roll her onto her back and ravage her like he’d taken to doing since she’d arrived. Instead Oliver sighed and smoothed his hand over her back again. Felicity watched his gaze drift to where he touched her. He dragged his fingertips in slow circles, over her shoulder blades, and then up the back of her neck into her hair. He ran his fingers through the long strands, quiet wonder covered his features as he pushed a loose tendril from her face. “But there isn’t any food. Yet. I didn’t make breakfast.”

The shift in the air was tangible.

Felicity couldn’t stop herself from stiffening again. “Then what’ve you been doing?”

“You asked me,” he said, still watching his hand play with her hair, “how I did it for so many years. Watching over you, over William and Mia, and nothing else. How I could stand being so close, but… not there. With you. With them.” His voice cracked. “I could have. I could have been there with you, Felicity, even if it wasn’t always, I could have. But I didn’t.”

A tremulous breath escaped her on a quiet, “Why?”

“Because I wanted this,” Oliver admitted in a tiny voice. “I wanted you, here, with me. I knew what you were going to do, that the Monitor was going to bring you here, to me, because I created the pathway for him to do it. But it had to be just right. It had be the right time. Time is… if there is one thing I’ve learned, it’s that time is fickle. One little change has ripple effects that are felt throughout the entire multiverse. And I knew, if I went to you, that it would be different. Your choice would be different. Whether it was timing, or the way it happened, or how the kids turned out. God, that was the hardest one. Their future is so necessary, in so many ways, and if anything had changed for them because I was there, I couldn’t risk that.

“But that wasn’t why I did it. I wish it was, but… it wasn’t.”

“Oliver…” Felicity whispered, heart in her throat.

“I gave up so much,” he continued, finally looked back at her. He cupped her face, his fingers digging in as a tear fell down his face. “You. Our son. Our daughter. My life. And I know it was the right thing to do, I know that now as much as I did then. But then it was all over, and suddenly all I had was all of this before me. All this work, this balance I had to maintain, all this time… And all I wanted was to be selfish. For once, I wanted to have the one thing I needed more than anything else in the entire multiverse.”

He didn’t have to say it. She saw it in his eyes.

“That’s why I never came to you,” Oliver told her. “Because I needed you. The Spectre can do so much, but I can’t erase choices, I can’t change the consequences of choices people make. And the last thing I wanted to do was jeopardize you coming here. I wanted to be selfish. I am selfish. Because I wanted you here, Felicity. I needed you here. With me. Like this.”

Felicity bit her lip so hard she nearly drew blood.

Tears flooded her eyes and she blinked them away as she tried to breathe through a suddenly suffocating pressure in her chest.

She had assumed as much, when she first asked him, when he had dodged the question with a non-answer. He could have been there. He could have been there with her, with the kids, building a life together instead of the shattered pieces she’d been left with. They could have been together all those years, those achingly lonely, empty years. Even if he’d only been there sporadically, it would have been better than nothing.

Right?

No.

A burst of air rocketed out of her lungs at that, and the pressure evaporated. Ask her twenty years ago - even ten years ago - and her answer would have been very different.

But now?

She wouldn’t trade those years for anything, she realized, because they had shaped all of them.

It was the struggle - the work, the hardships, the wins, the losses - that made her see what he was saying. It was the joy that came of it, the steel, the glue that kept her family together, that let them thrive the way they did. It would have been so different, if he had been there. It would have changed things, irrevocably, because that’s what love did. That’s what their love did. Did she wish he had been there still? Absolutely. The thought alone made her want to cry with the strength of the yearning that filled her. But could she blame him? Part of her wanted to, still, because it felt like a choice she should have been involved in. Except she couldn’t have been. Because it was bigger than her, than them, all of it - the death of her husband, the opening for the Spectre, the only being strong enough to end the darkness, the only way to reconstruct what had been destroyed. But not their love. The circumstances were bigger than all of them, yes, but not their love. Nothing could destroy that. Nothing was bigger than that, and the proof was right here, wasn’t it? That she was here, with him, in a pocket of time created and maintained solely by him, so they could be together the way they had always wanted. The way they deserved.

It could have been different. They deserve to have that happy ending, the white picket fence, the two point five kids, the dog…

But this was their reality. This was the next best thing. And she couldn’t be angry about it.

Not when she faced an eternity with the love of her life by her side.

Oliver huffed out a low, self-deprecating laugh. “But even then, I couldn’t help myself.”

Felicity frowned, not following.

He stared at her for a beat. “We haven’t talked about any dreams you might’ve had during those years.”

“Dreams?” she asked. “You mean, of you? Of course I dreamed about you. You were always on my mind, you were never… Wait. Are you saying…?”

Vivid pictures filled her mind, so clear and crisp and intense that she always woke up positive it had happened. At first, it had been more than she could bear. She had even resented them for a while, wished they would stop, but then she would close her eyes and her first wish was to see him. And she did. Entire conversations, laughter, tears, words of love, affirmations, sometimes anger and frustration, throwing things and raging, and other times… his touch, all over her, inside her…

A fresh burst of tears blurred her vision as she pushed up onto her elbows.

“That was you?” Felicity demanded. “Those were real? They were… you were…?”

“It was the closest I could get to you, to William, to Mia, without really being there,” Oliver admitted. Agony twisted his face as his hand dropped from her face. “I don’t know if it was the right thing to do, but I couldn’t stand spending that much time away from you, from my family. And you were always open to me, as if you somehow knew-”

“I did.” Felicity grabbed his hand. “I was open to you. Always. God, Oliver, you have no idea what this means. Those sustained me. I was able to talk to you when I needed you most, I was connected to you when I needed to be, I thought… I thought I was losing my mind honestly, but they kept me going, as if they were… as if it was somehow you, and it was. Oh god, you were there, you saw Mia’s first steps, you saw William’s awards, you saw… Oh, that car accident, and when Mia broke her arm, and the fights she got into, and when William’s grandparents died, and work, and JJ, and Connor, god, Connor and everything he went through with John and Lyla, and… Oh, those dates? You… you were so… Oliver, for a few minutes, I felt like I had you back. I had the father of my children back, my partner, my husband.”

“I was with you,” Oliver promised, another tear falling as he squeezed her hand. “The entire time.”

Felicity surged forward, her lips finding his in a graceless kiss. His free hand cupped the back of her head and pulled her closer, holding her there for a long moment.

“And the kids?” Felicity asked, pulling back to look at him.

“Yeah.” Oliver took a shaky breath and nodded, his tears making his eyes luminescent. “It wasn’t as much with them, because I… I wanted to protect them from thinking anything weird was going on. Which it was. And I should have done that with you, but with you, I wasn’t as strong. It was more… memories, with them. They’d revisit something they did that day, or the week before, and I would get to be there. Like… graduations, or plays, or sleepovers. Sometimes they were things I didn’t want to see-” Felicity laughed. “But most of the time, I was able to be present for things that I wouldn’t have been otherwise. And you were there most of the time.” Oliver brushed her hair behind her ear. “It wasn’t the same. I know it would never be the same, but for a second I was with my kids. I was able to be with them the only way I could be.”

Felicity didn’t try to hide the sobs that wrenched out of her. Oliver gathered her close, kissing her, their tears combining.

“There were some mornings where they came downstairs,” Felicity whispered. “And I could see it in their faces. Mia talked about it more than William at first, but you were always there with us. Always. And they knew about it all. About everything, I didn’t keep any of it from them. They knew who you were, before the Crisis, and during.”

“Thank you,” he breathed.

“And I… I knew I was going to see Mia,” she continued. “As a grownup, when she was still a baby, and I knew that was coming for her. That she would be coming to your funeral. And that she would meet you again.”

“That made it easier,” Oliver confided, emotion choking his voice. “There was another future that had happened, before the Crisis, and their lives… your life… they were so hard, and I hated it, but it made them into the most amazing people. And I got to meet them. I got to talk to them, and hear their stories, and live with them, even if it was just for a moment. They were the most amazing people I’d ever met, and I knew so much of that had to do with you. You raised them into beautiful, strong people, and that… It made it easier, staying away. Knowing that that would happen because of you. Although I had no doubt from the beginning.”

Felicity smiled.

Or, she tried.

When it came down to it, she had still done it alone. She’d had help, of course, and it was nice knowing he’d been there, in some way, but it wasn’t what it could have been. And for a second, she mourned that with every atom in her body.

She ducked her head and burrowed into his arms, pressing her face into his shoulder. He was so warm, so alive, his heat seeping through his t-shirt into her bare skin, his arms warm around her.

Oliver pressed his lips to the crown of her head. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, Felicity.”

“I know,” she whispered. Her voice hitched on a sob. “I know.”

They held each other. The silence settled around them, and tension she didn’t realize had snuck back into both of them slowly slid away. Sounds of an active world outside their room filled the air - cars, birds, people talking in the distance, the pool just outside their window lapping against rock edges, the wind blowing. The comforting noises cleared away the heaviness.

She wasn’t sure who moved first, but somehow their hands wound up tangled tightly together on his sternum.

“I wanted to be here with you, too,” Felicity said after a moment. “You know that, right? I needed to be with you. It was all I worked towards. It was the one thing that got me up the most. I knew when they would be okay without me, and that when they were set up and happy and safe, that I could finally find you. And I don’t regret that. It hurts knowing what could have been, but I don’t regret it. Because I have you.” His arm around her back hugged her tighter. “And Mia and William, they were with me in this, every step of the way. I didn’t hide it from them, and I wouldn’t have called the Monitor when I did if they had asked me not to. But they didn’t. Because they knew as much as I did how much of myself was missing because I didn’t have you. So no, being here now, with you, like this, I don’t regret it, Oliver.” She tilted her head to look up at him. “I don’t regret it.”

A flitting wave of relief crossed his face.

“I don’t,” she reiterated and pushed up so her lips brushed his in a kiss. “You are my everything.”

“And you’re mine,” he replied on a crack before pressing his lips more firmly to hers.

They settled in again. The shared silence a warm cocoon folding them in together.

It was almost perfect…

“But you miss them,” Oliver offered.

“Oh god, I do,” Felicity said. She sat up to see him more fully. “I knew I would, too, that I would miss them so much, and I made peace with that. I did. And with them. But talking about being away from them is one thing. Actually being away from them? And then there’s…”

“What?” he asked, smoothing his hand up to the back of her neck. “Talk to me, Felicity.”

“I know I won’t age here.” Felicity studied his eyes, and saw the instant he got what she was saying.

“But they will.”

That searing pain speared through her chest again as Felicity nodded. “Yeah.”

Oliver opened his mouth, but no sound came out. He stared at her, and she saw all of her own heartbreak and grief mirrored back at her, and she knew he’d thought about it, too. But there wasn’t an easy answer. There wasn’t even really an answer that he could give her that would any of it better. Because there was no making this better.

“I was checking in on them.”

Felicity’s heart stopped. “What?”

“When I went downstairs to make breakfast,” Oliver filled in. “I know it’s been bothering you, I know you’ve been keeping tabs on them, and I knew… Well, I hadn’t visited Earth Prime. And I knew I could, but I wanted to be absolutely, one hundred positive that I could before I told you that-”

“What are you saying?” Felicity asked, shooting up taller.

“I’m saying we should go visit our kids.”

“What? We can do that? We… can go home?” A sob cracked her voice. “I get to see my babies?”

“Yes,” Oliver whispered, tears filling his eyes.

“Oh my god,” Felicity gasped, throwing herself at him. A laugh fell out of her as she wrapped her arms around him. “Oh my god!”

His laughter joined hers as he hugged her back.

“How?” Felicity asked, pulling back. “Alright, I mean, I do get how, but-”

“Honestly, I’d thought about it long before you found me,” he said. “About how to bridge things back to the kids, how to bridge our world the way we knew it with what we have now. I can do so much, and I want to give you everything, Felicity. I want to give us everything that I can. And then you were here.” Oliver grinned, but there was a sadness that made her heart hurt. “And I had you in my arms again, and it was everything I’d wanted. I thought about bringing it up, so many times. I waited for you to bring it up, but you didn’t, and I… It just… I was scared. I couldn’t stop thinking about what they would think of me, now, about how everything happened, about the last twenty years-”

“They love you, Oliver,” Felicity told him. “They know who you are, they know everything.”

“I’m still terrified,” he admitted on a rattly laugh.

Felicity cupped his cheek and ran her thumb under his eye. “That’s what makes you human.”

“Even though I’m not technically human anymore?” he replied, and a hint of ethereal green shaded his eyes. “I’m not even technically alive anymore, Felicity. Not like I used to be. The Spectre can’t exist in a living person. That’s part of what ties us together. I don’t actually even know exactly what I am.”

His eyes dropped. “Does that… does that scare you?”

“No,” she said honestly. “Because you’re still Oliver. Because I was with you every step of the way, remember? When you came back from Lian Yu, everything you went through as the Arrow, as Oliver Queen, as a husband, as a father - I was with you. And I know that man can more than handle this. These last few weeks, ever since I got here, things have been so… normal. But I know things aren’t normal anymore. Not like they used to be.”

“No,” Oliver agreed. “I’m not just Oliver Queen anymore. I had the chance to come back, but when I chose to be the Spectre, I became something else entirely. And as the Spectre, I have a lot more to do, to keep the balance, in the multiverse. It’s funny, all those years ago, when I thought I couldn’t be the Arrow and Oliver Queen… It was you that helped me realize I can. That I can be both and so much more. None of this would have been possible without you. All those years, the years you helped me find myself, find my light, my balance, it was all leading up to this moment. I’m Oliver Queen…” His eyes grew bright green, so bright they glowed. “And the Spectre.”

Felicity stared into the glowing orbs.

His reticence was another presence in the room, and she knew he was bearing it all to her, showing her everything. There was more there now, an otherworldly presence, but it wasn’t separate. Because as much as she sensed the power in him that hadn’t been there before, it was still all her Oliver.

“Our new normal,” she said.

“Yeah,” Oliver whispered on a relieved grin.

Staring into his green eyes, Felicity kissed him. She kissed her husband, kissed the Arrow, the Green Arrow, her partner, the father of her children… the Spectre.

New normal was a bit of an understatement, but at the same time, it was exactly right.

When he tried to deepen it, she pulled back.

“So hang on,” she said. “Those dreams, the stuff you told me, was all that real, too? Like an earth made up entirely of shrimp, and when you tried to describe what it was like seeing colors you didn’t know existed-”

“Some of that.” Oliver cracked an amused smile. “I can’t say I’ve run into a planet made up entirely of shrimp yet.”

Her cheeks warmed. “Okay, so that was an actual dream, then. Got it.”

Oliver chuckled. “But the other stuff? It was all true. And I’d like to show you all of it.”

“Really? We can do that? I don’t have to have some special goddess status-”

“You’re already a goddess in my eyes,” Oliver interrupted and she rolled her eyes at him, earning another chuckle. “But no, you don’t need a special status.” He laced his fingers through hers again and lifted them as Felicity settled back against his shoulder. He pressed his face to her temple, and she felt his lips moving as he spoke. “The Spectre and I are like this, entwined together. But so are you and I. You are just as much a part of me as the Spectre, which means where I go, you go.”

“That… will be so frakking amazing,” Felicity said with a laugh.

Oliver kissed her temple. “Not as amazing as you,” he said. He rolled her onto her back and climbed on top of her. Felicity opened for him and hummed at the sensation of his full weight against her as he settled between her thighs. He cupped her face. “Nothing is as amazing as you are, Felicity.”

“I don’t know,” she said. “I mean, there is an entire multiverse out there-”

“Nothing,” he reiterated before his lips slanted over hers.

She moaned. “Okay, but you’re talking about me seeing the actual freaking universe-”

“Felicity.”

“I’m just saying, there has to be some sort of-”

He cut her off again, and this time he took advantage of the opening to thrust his tongue against hers. There were more words in her brain, but they disappeared as he kissed her. He pressed her further into the mattress and she pulled her legs up higher. He groaned his approval as he settled more fully against her center, his sweats and the thin sleep shorts she had on the only thing separating her from his growing hardness.

Dragging his lips from hers, Oliver kissed his way down her chin, following the line of her jaw to the delicate spot that always made her gasp before he eased down her neck. Stubble scraping as he went, his t-shirt soft against her bare skin as he moved, Felicity’s hands landed on his shoulders, her nails digging into hard muscle. He licked and sucked and nipped and she fought to keep breathing, pushing one hand into hair that was thankfully growing back, the other sprawling over his upper back. He still had his scars, all of them, and they greeted her even through his shirt in such a familiar way that it brought tears to her eyes.

“Oliver,” she whispered as he moved down to her clavicle, her chest, her breasts. “Oliver.”

“I’m here,” he replied just as his lips found one of her nipples.

The pleasure was immediate and a strangled whimper escaped her, a shudder wracking every inch of her, her back arching to get closer. He flicked at her with his tongue, sucking before grazing the tiny bead with his teeth. Heat spiraled out from that spot, searing, coursing through her right to her core. Felicity gripped his hair tight, holding him closer, her legs wrapping around him as she thrust her hips up into his. The friction was perfect and she cried out, doing it again, earning a deep growl from him. He rotated his hips, sucking harder, pinning her down…

It was exquisite torture, and any other time she would have enjoyed the ride, but on the heels of everything they’d finally admitted to each other, it was suddenly not enough.

“I need you,” Felicity rasped. She pulled at his hair, tugging him away, and he let her nipple go with a wet pop. His lips were as red and swollen as her abused breast, his cheeks flush with arousal, his eyes glassy with need, and it was the most erotic sight she’d ever seen. Felicity grabbed his face and urged him back up to her. “I need you inside him,” she told him just before her lips crashed into his.

Hard and demanding, they kissed each other as if it was their first and last time combined in one. It was inevitable, though, in a way, the desperation that captured them, that controlled them, after everything they had been through.

After everything they had found again.

Oliver pulled back, quick and harried, and he clambered off her, nearly falling when he abruptly found the edge of the bed. Felicity followed him, scooting to the edge, her hands shoving his shirt up as he pushed his sweats down his hips. His hardness popped free, swelling even more where it bobbed between them. She abandoned his shirt and wrapped her hand around him. She didn’t waste a second before leaning forward and wrapping her mouth around his thick head, running her tongue along the slit. A salty droplet greeted her and she moaned, sucking, wanting more as she started pumping him, gripping him tight, his hot skin moving against the thick steel of his need for her. He panted out a tight curse, and then the air above her was moving where he tore his shirt off. She didn’t let him go, her want for this man so intense she felt it in her bones, taking over, controlling her, making her mindless.

He grabbed her shoulders and pushed her back, forcing her to let him go. She didn’t get the chance to react before he gripped her waist and tossed her back onto the center of the bed. Felicity bounced, a giggle escaping her, and she caught sight of his grin but then he was gone, his fingers finding the hem of her shorts. He tugged them down, tossed them away, and then he climbing onto the bed again.

“Come here,” Felicity whispered, opening her arms, but he stopped at her thighs.

Oliver smoothed his hands from her knees up. She whined his name, spreading her legs, reaching down to grab him, but he evaded her. The look on his face - the hunger, the need, the want, the love - it had her inner walls already spasming and she arched her hips to get closer to him.

“Oliver, please.”

“You are so beautiful,” he replied, his hands finding her inner thighs, moving up. His lips followed his hands’ path, so soft compared to his calloused palms. Her head fell back on the bed with a bounce, her breaths sawing in and out, sensation swamping her. “So beautiful,” he told her again. His hot breath danced over her delicate, trembling skin, sending waves of goosebumps spiraling out. “Beautiful.”

His mouth found her weeping sex.

A cry wrenched out from deep inside her and Felicity’s back bowed again, her leg kicking out. He slid his hands under and around and clamped her hips down, holding her still as he took his fill of her. His tongue stroked against her clit, his lips wrapping around it and sucking, his head moving, his mouth opening wider so he could lick down to her opening where he thrust his tongue inside her. Heat was a living thing under her skin, churning, bright and hot, the pleasure he gave her taking her breath away as he worked her. Felicity grappled against the sheets, twisting them in tight fists, thrusting up, her whimpers and pleas filling the room, the sucking noises and his moans sending her higher.

But it wasn’t enough.

“Oliver…”

Like he knew, like he could read her thoughts, like he was of the same mind as her, Oliver pulled back and climbed up the rest of the way. His face was wet from her, and he left a trail of arousal as he kissed and sucked his way up her abdomen, up the slope of her neglected breast, her nipple, her chest…

Felicity nodded when he finally reached her, when he finally settled the full length of his hard body against her soft one, when she spread her legs for him. His chin was still wet when he kissed her, and she moaned at the taste of herself on his tongue. Felicity wrapped him up in her arms, pulling her legs up as high as she could. His hard length slid across her tender, wet core and their combined moans was music to her ears.

“Yes,” she breathed against his lips as he pulled his hips back, his thick head finding her entrance. His kisses drifted down her cheek and she kissed his stubble, his jaw, his ear, the line of his hair as he buried his face in her throat. “Oliver…”

He thrust home.

Felicity’s mouth fell open in a soundless cry as he filled her, going so deep, stretching her completely. He fit inside her perfectly, like he was made for her, and she held on as he found one of her knees and lifted her leg up, letting him slide in even deeper. It was so good, so, so good, almost too good to be true…

“Is this real?” she choked out.

Oliver froze and pulled back to look at her.

A sudden sheen of tears blurred her vision and she blinked rapidly, needing to see him. He stared at her, his brow furrowed, his breaths ragged, but he didn’t move. She cupped his face, drinking him in, every little tiny thing. “This isn’t a dream, right? You’re really here. I’m here? This is…?”

Anguish twisted his brow.

“It’s real,” Oliver told her, staring into her. “This is real, Felicity, I promise.”

“You’re here?” she said, smoothing her hands over his face, down his neck, and to his shoulders.

“I’m here,” he whispered. He shifted, readjusting, and slipped his arm underneath her and across her back to grab her shoulder. Hugging her. It anchored her to him, so securely it made her chest ache. His other hand found hers. He laced their fingers together, tight and sure, and tugged them close between them, until they were completely wrapped up in each other. “You’re here,” Oliver said. “This is real. This is real.”

Felicity nodded.

“It’s real.”

He kissed her, and she knew he was telling the truth. She was here, with her love, and they were never going to be apart again.

Oliver slowly started moving. He pulled out the tiniest bit before thrusting back inside her. She moved her legs, winding one around his backside, the other slipping down to wrap around his leg. He lifted his other one for more leverage as he filled her, over and over and over…

They made love to each other, every move achingly tender, every touch reassuring. His hand gripped her shoulder, strong and sure, their laced hands never letting the other go, not for anything. When Oliver pulled back to look at her, their eyes meeting as they rocked together, she cupped his cheek, grounding herself to him even more.

Her pleasure built on a silent crest, slow and meticulous, coiling inside her in a crescendo that radiated through every inch of her.

“Oliver,” she breathed, and he nodded, pressing his forehead to hers. Felicity gripped his hand in hers, her other grabbing the back of his neck for something to hold onto. She squeezed her eyes shut and breathed his air, taking him inside her in every way possible. “Oliver.”

“I’ve got you, Felicity,” he promised and her eyes flew open to find his already on her. Her pleasure peaked in a sudden swell. She gasped, stiffening, clinging to him, to his gaze. “I’ve got you.”

Felicity came apart in his arms. Fire licked through her veins, but not with the alacrity it usually did. It was slower, hotter, igniting every single nerve in her body. Her eyes slammed shut, her back bowing, her toes curling, pinpricks dancing under her skin in a swath of heat. It consumed her, and it didn’t stop, not as he kept moving, thrusting, filling her, over and over in a primordial dance that echoed in her soul.

Oliver fell against her.

Their tangled hands stayed lodged between them as he buried his face in her neck and doubled his efforts, hips moving faster, their skin colliding, his hold on her tightening.

When tiny, desperate sounds echoed against her throat, his breaths hot and wet, his lips and stubble scraping over her, sending erotic shivers through her that echoed the cascade of pleasure, she opened her eyes…

“Oh god,” Felicity breathed.

The ceiling of the villa was gone, but there wasn’t any sky, not like she knew.

A fresh wave of sensation crashed into her and she cried out as the multiverse above them glowed bright. Colors and swirls and stars and planets glowed against a black background that was as alive as the universes it cradled in its dark palm. The beauty of it was astonishing, mind-bending, filling her with awe as much as…

“Felicity,” Oliver moaned, and on one final thrust, he came deep inside her.

She felt it, felt him, felt his pleasure as much as hers, and another orgasm hit her.

They fell together, holding on to each other, coming together in more ways than one.

It was a long while before Felicity opened her eyes again, and it was only because Oliver moved to slowly ease out of her.

“Oh,” she whimpered and she turned to follow him as he fell onto the bed next to her. He pulled her close, cradling her in the security of his arms, pressing a chaste kiss to her sweaty forehead. Felicity sighed, lifting her leg to wrap around his hip, tangling their legs together. “I love you.”

“I love you,” ghosted across her hair as he readjusted, fitting her into the cradle of his shoulder and pushing his face against the top of her head. She hummed her approval, dropping messy kisses against his broad chest. His hand got tangled in her damp hair, his other skating down her ribs.

“Oliver?”

“Hmm?”

“I think I saw it,” Felicity whispered. She felt him frown in question and she pulled back to look up at him. “The multiverse.” Surprise twisted his face. “I mean, I think I did. This isn’t a play on how absolutely incredible those orgasms were, because they really, really were, and all the kudos to us for the amazing sex we just had, but… When you said my name, the ceiling… disappeared, and I saw… I swear I saw it. And then I also felt… At least I think I did… I felt you. Felt what you felt. Do I sound as insane as I think I do?”

“No,” Oliver said after a moment, his brow furrowing on a thought. “It actually makes sense.”

“Well, that’s comforting, and it also explains nothing.”

“When I’m with you,” Oliver said, staring into her eyes, “you’re all that exists for me. You are my universe as far as I’m concerned, and I think… I don’t have to concentrate to keep this place where we are going, it exists because I say it does, and it exists exactly like the world we used to live in, but I think I… blurred the lines a little bit? I let go… into you. What I was feeling. What I see when I close my eyes.”

“Wow.”

“Is that… okay?” He frowned. “I can try to pull it back-”

“No,” Felicity said loudly. “Don’t you dare. I want you letting go with me. I’m so glad I can give that to you. That I can still give that to you. That was… There aren’t words. I felt more connected to you, to the entire universe, in a way I never have before.”

“I felt that, too,” he replied softly, moving his fingers through her hair. “I felt you, with me.”

“Wow.”

Oliver smiled. “That’s why I know I’ll be able to take you with me when I have work to do. Which yes,” he added off her look, “definitely includes seeing the kids.”

“I still can’t believe that’s possible,” Felicity admitted, her hand drifting up to his chin, his jaw, wonder filling her voice. “I never dreamed that that would be something we’d get to do. That it was even possible. I should probably stop wondering about things being possible, shouldn’t I?”

“At this point?” he asked, that green shading his eyes again. “Probably.”

“So when can we go?”

Oliver grinned. “Whenever you’re ready.”

Emotion filled her chest to the brim. “I’m ready. With you by my side, I’m ready for anything. For all of it.”

“Me too.”

They kissed, a soft, loving touch that sealed that promise.

A quick shower later - and by quick, she meant one of the perks of having a god-like husband was the hot water never ran out and when she complained about pruny fingers, he made them disappear which meant they spent a wonderfully right amount of time having shower sex - they stood together in the villa bedroom.

“Hold on like this.” Oliver laced their fingers together. “Hold on to me tight.”

Felicity grinned. “You know, these might be the very platonic circumstances I was talking about all those years ago.”

He chuckled, and pulled her in close, not even needing a second to remember what she was referring to. Her heart soared as Oliver kissed her, lingering, and it went even higher when he whispered, “And we’ll explore those different circumstances a little bit more later.”

“Good thing we have all the time in the world,” Felicity replied.

He grinned, kissed her once more, and on a, “Here we go,” the world around them shifted…

And when Felicity opened her eyes, they were in a large open room. Against one window was the large face of a clock, and even though it looked wildly different from the last time she’d been in there, she knew they were in the clocktower in Star City.

Movement had both her and Oliver turning around.

What she saw had tears filling her eyes, joy filling her heart, and gratitude and love squeezing Oliver’s hand.

Mia and William sat at a bar against the opposite wall, and they both looked up at the same time. William’s face was drawn, circles under his eyes, and he looked haggard, but he was his same vibrant self, thanks in part to the obvious connection between the siblings, to Mia where she held his hand, so full of light and life.

Her babies.

“Mom…?”

“Dad?”

The End

*

I hope that wasn't too mean of a place to end it! I tweeted this after the finale and I wanted part of this to be a lead-up to a situation where it happens.

A/N: It’s no secret that I really loved the last scene of the finale. I also really wish Season 8 had never happened, for a number of reasons, but also because I don’t think this is how Arrow should have ended. But in the context of the Crisis and everything that S8 gave us? God yes, I loved that we got Olicity together in the end! But, of course, I had questions, and I wanted to understand things. So I babbled out a bunch of stuff. I started this after the finale and it’s slowly morphed into this. I wanted to capture as much as I could that encapsulates how I see Olicity wherever they are now. I have admittedly not looked too much into the lore or the comic books, so...

So this is my headcanon now!

(This was un-beta’d and I’ve been sick, so all mistakes are definitely mine.)

Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed it - reviews feed the soul and muse.

[sabinefm]

( bruna marquezine , cis female , peach ) welcome to aida&stefano , SABINA REUBE ! thank you for choosing to stay here. in this form it says that you go by the SHE / HER , you’re TWENTY THREE years old , you’re originally from SAN FRANCISCO , and you’ve been staying here for ONE YEAR . it also says you’re known to be + RESOURCEFUL , but also - SELFISH. that really shouldn’t be a problem though. check in at the front , hope you enjoy your stay ! (the click of heels, hot sand under your bare feet, chocolate covered strawberries, the imprints a bra leaves on your skin, red lipstick staining your fingertips )

ABOUT THE MUN.  i hope this email never finds you 

hello all, my name is pepper and i have never been on time for anything, ever in my life sdjkdskj this is especially true today, rip. no but honestly, i never thought i would actually get accepted into this beautiful rp so i stalled checking acceptances cause i’m a Scaredy Cat and that made me really late, and then i ended up taking the rest of my coworker’s shift cause she had to go and thus ended up coming home even later than i thought which has made me really really late... BUT against all the odds i’m here! and ready to party! and tell y’all about my bby sabina! but first a little bit about me, i am twenty four (ew), i can’t cook (rip), and i currently spend most of my lonely quarantine days either watching anime or scrolling through tiktok. i am canadian but every canadian that meets me thinks i’m american and i don’t know why. when i was a child i had an irrational (or yk very rational) fear of sharkboy from sharkboy and lava girl, and tbh it has never left me. i was also afraid of gill from kim possible so you can imagine my horror when that fish f*cking movie won an oscar?? when i was younger i also thot god looked like king triton from the little mermaid cause he was white and he had a beard yk. it fit in my little brain. and finally i just recently discovered girl in red and therefore feel like i finally got my bi girl card,,, feeling validated in this chillis tonight. and if that doesn’t tell you everything you need to know about me idk what will. anyways, that’s officially enough about me onto who we’re all really here for, ms sabine!

BIO.  the lengths i would go to to both get attention and avoid it... astounding  tldr ; daughter of a guy who created a dating site + app, came to a&s after leaving her husband to be at the alter after catching him cheating with her mother, wants to be a bad bitch, sometimes succeeds. 

THEN.

sabina came into the world the child of a mediocre stay at home mom and a penniless entrepreneur so it goes without saying that she had very little. her dad had a lot of passion and a lot of drive but no one would really give him a chance, and her mother kind of only married the man because she was expecting him to make it big enough for her to never have to work another day in her life so? yeah she was hella disappointed tbh 

but not sabina! she looked up to her father so much as a child. while her mom was kind of ~emotionally unavailable~ her father was too, but like at least he had a dream he believed in, yk? he wanted to help people fall in love and sabine being the big romantic she was as a child had never heard of anything so noble. her daddy was her hero. sabina honestly had big daddy’s little girl vibes until she was like 22 tkjsdkjd

one day when their family credit card got rejected one too many times sabina’s mother called it quits on yk the whole mother gig. she left sabina on a bench outside of the grocery store while she went to go home and ‘get some cash’ which even at seven sabine knew was a damn lie cause they were too broke to have any damn cash. and yeah that was the last sabina heard of her for a long ass time. it was a reverse ‘dad went to get some cigarettes’ situation but just as traumatic honestly. 

although not as much for sabine’s dad. that man literally saw his wife leaving him as a minor setback and moved on. he threw himself harder into his work, to the point where sabine barely saw him. this was the start of sabine desperately trying to compete with her father’s business for even a sliver of his attention. this was a battle she usually lost. 

sabine raised herself for a while there, since her father yk remarried his job and her mother was following the jonas brother’s cross country. she became both very independent and very lonely for a child, which was an odd combination that both haunted sabine for pretty much the rest of her life after that point and lead her to make most of her worst decisions. but that’s a story for another time, because right when all hope was lost sabine’s father won the lottery. literally. 

all at once they were five million dollars richer. they went from nothing to everything real quick. and this marked a change in the reube’s lives in a way sabine couldn’t have even imagine at the time. 

sabine’s father hector used the money to fund his business and that shit blew up! he created a site by the name of loveisblind that was in the ring with the likes of match.com and christianmingle yk, one of those dating sites. everyone on loveisblind is set up on blind dates based on the information they fill out on their profile and are only allowed to see each other when they reach a certain point of emotional intimacy. the site had wild success rates, and got very popular, blah, blah, the point was the reubes? suddenly rich af!

and you think that would give hector more time to spend with his daughter right? no. it gave hector the money to hire nannies for his daughter. 

yes, somehow despite hector no longer having to work himself to the bone, sabine saw him even less. tragic really. she really became that lonely rich girl trope real quick, and this is what unfortunately got sabine into the habit of seeking the attention she wasn’t getting from her father in other men and women, which she is not proud of. 

that unfortunately didn’t fill the void that sabine had but you know what did? making the loveisblind app so her daddy would love her. basically around the time that tinder started gaining traction and getting popular, people stopped going on the loveisblind site and started instead turning to apps. her father was trying and failing to get into that market, and sabina, being yk, actually a lot more intelligent than her father ever gave her credit for, created the app for his site and pitched it to him over his lunch one day. it was honestly one of the first times sabina can remember her father really paying attention to her in the longest time. it was also the proudest she’s ever seen him. 

the app was a big success! a whole new generation was using it and finding love, including one ms sabine reube. in the early days of the app launch sabine met her prince charming, christopher ‘kit’ johannson. he swept her right off her feet, and she fell HARD, and when they debuted their relationship it wasn’t long until they kind of became the face of the app?? like sabine’s father was the creator after all, the fact that his daughter found love on the app too was big news for a while. people followed their relationship and strived for something like that for themselves. sabine didn’t know it at the time but they were basically a walking advertisement, and her father was LIVING for that.

fast forward a bit and your girl went to yale for computer engineering and business (did her daddy’s status and money ease the way? maybe man, nepotism am i right) whilst kit went to harvard, they were long distance for a bit before they graduated and kit very publicly proposed (the whole thing was well recorded too, gotta get that gram), and then both sab and kit moved in together and both started working for their families respective companies. it was around then that sabine started to understand just how much and how often kit was cheating on her. it was a real wakeup call. 

sabine ended up breaking down to her father about her suspicions, and he basically ended up telling her to suck it up and think of the business. the fact was sabine and kit, the face of their new generation and one of the first successful couples from the app getting married and living happily ever after was amazing for the company. and the two of them calling the whole thing off just because of a little infidelity just wasn’t going to cut it. 

now once again, this is where sabine’s deep desire to be loved and accepted really bites her in the ass. this was one of the first times sabine’s father had ever really asked her for anything so... she did it. or at least she did her best to do it. she lasted until the wedding day around the time where she caught kit and her own mother (who she only invited out of a deep rooted need to actually know the woman who gave birth to her again) going at it in the coat closet of their wedding venue. yeah, at that point sabine pretty much snapped, blacked out, smashed a whole wedding cake over kit’s head, and took their honeymoon to venice on her own. she arrived at Aida&Stefano with running mascara in a ruined wedding dress trying to ask about a honeymoon suite. it was a whole mess, but you know what so is sab so at least she was on brand. 

NOW.

after sabina arrived she spent about a week mourning her failed almost-marriage and yk, destroyed family before she decided to fuck it all and reinvent herself. she desperately wanted to become someone new, someone unrecognizable from who she was before, even if it was only on the inside. so she cut her hair (the first step to every transformation) hardened everything soft about herself and made the irrevocable decision to become a bad bitch. she (mostly) succeeded. kind of. 

sabine basically curb stomped out the soft, hopeless romantic people pleaser in her and decided to become someone more unsympathetic. someone who puts her own needs first instead of burning herself up to keep others warm (cause what good has that ever done her before?). someone who people would be afraid to hurt but who wouldn’t even feel pain anyways. and to sum it up that person is a heartless bitch. or at least she tries to be.

i’m gonna stop here because this is already a lot longer than i wanted it to be and i haven’t even got to the other sections yet rip but you get the point i feel

PERSONALITY.  *feels nothing* mmm, don’t like that *feels something but like too much* mmm not a fan of that either 

most of this is tbd because i’m still developing her but

VAIN. the kind of girl who will file her nails or check herself out in the mirror while you’re talking to her. will reapply her lipstick in the rearview mirror of her car while she’s driving. checks herself out in any reflective surface, i mean i would too if i looked like bruna but Still 

KIND. even though sab tries to be a hard ass she’s probably the most loyal, generous, kind person you would ever meet deep down. like she puts on this persona of being heartless, but if anyone needs her she will be there for them. kind of hates that she’s such a softie sometimes but she can’t help it. 

EMOTIONALLY UNAVAILABLE. doesn’t want to be hurt again and will do pretty much anything to avoid that. tries to keep people at arms length especially romantically. loves making friends though, and will indeed spoil them. 

HEADCANNONS.  who wants to hire me as their maid i’m not gonna clean im just gonna wear a cute maid outfit dust like 6 things and bend down a lot

has the vibes of that drunk rich aunt that’s always smoking like sexily as she looks far into the distance and wears like a super luxurious coat. will gossip with you. will buy you things your mom won’t. will cuss out your toxic father at the dinner table. that’s her energy.

unfortunately actually does smoke. i hate 

okay fun fact, the only reason sabine went to university for computer programming and business was because she felt her father wanted her to. she honestly has no real passion for the subject and just wanted to use her talent to make her father as proud of her as he was on the day she debuted that app to him. but now that making daddy proud isn’t like the only thing occupying her entire brain sabine like is like ??? wait what do i actually want to do with my life ??? and it took her a while to figure it out but after a while she fell back on one of her passions, art. she’s actually making a graphic novel aimed towards young adults about a modern day hades and persephone vibe, kind of about a girl who falls in love with the grim reaper and the lengths she goes to to chase after her (yes it is a Lady Reaper) into the depths of hell,,, it’s wild. she’s very proud of it but also kind of shy about it tbh. her go to critic is georgio, because she knows that little shit will be honest and yk what she respects that. 

but when it comes to making actual money your girl turns to cam work most of the time, because well. at the very least it’s quick, easy, and semi discreet. and sometimes she gets something out of it too. she figures it’s a win win, and she’s been doing it for about a year now, mostly because she absolutely refuses to use any of her father’s money. 

is allergic to cucumber. 

has a different 'relationship’ like every week or so, along with a few one night stands peppered in. unfortunately still attracted to people who are bad for her (kit for example was an asshole and a cheater and DEFINITELY conservative like she messed up on that one), but is also very afraid of falling in love again and letting herself get hurt, so she normally doesn’t let things last too long before she starts self sabotaging. 

if you ever catch sabine with like... her nails growing out or her nail polish chipped, something is wrong. like something is deeply wrong. sabine will have her nails done in the middle of the apocalypse, the only reason they would be less than perfect is if she is having a breakdown. always has colour on her nails, and usually it’s a shade of red, purple, or black. 

always has wild ass stories to tell about her tinder dates or one night stands and will tell them without shame for your entertainment. is a great storyteller honestly, a talent she got from her mother but she doesn’t want to admit that. 

fun fact, her mother mariah was PISSED when hector got rich AFTER she left him and tried for years to sue him or something but no dice. she was so angry and vengeful over the whole thing that she took the opportunity of being invited to her daughters wedding to get back at her husband where it hurt, his business. thus sleeping with kit. didn’t really think about how her daughter might feel about the whole thing because she was yk blinded by rage, but that’s just how mariah is so i mean,,, rip sabina. 

shops when she’s sad, or happy, or angry, or confused sdkjdsj will use any excuse to shop, and at this point she has more clothes than she knows what to do with. her style can be kind of out there at times, but she will let you borrow things though. 

she has a cat named momo. yes that is inspired by her being the peach skeleton. also has a parrot named poe i think. i also have the urge to give her a snake but... i will resist. so sabine wants a snake for sure 

her favourite colours are black and red

she is a horrible terrible driver. don’t drive with sabine unless you’re an adrenaline junkie or like want to die tbh 

her dad 100% set up the relationship between kit and sabine as a pr stunt, but sabine doesn’t know that yet and when she finds out her father used her like that ooh boy things are gonna get wildt. as it is now sabine just thinks she disappointed him and it’s kind of eating her alive. half the reason she’s staying here is because she doesn’t want to face him or yk her old life anymore. her father is so caught up in the shame she caused him that he hasn’t even tried to call her after the whole thing and the one time sabine got hella drunk and called him all he did was tell her what a disappointment she was and ask when she was coming back to work so we love ~parenting~

WANTED CONNECTIONS. girls will “🥺🥺🥺🥺” their way out of everything

close friends please and thanks, best friends also please, uh, can i get some awkward one night stands that avoid each other at all cost, can i get a neighbour who’s ear sabine is always talking off in the hallway between their rooms even tho they just want to go home but can’t because sabine is Oversharing, maybe a flirtationship, but also i would love an enemy (it could be for a ridiculous reason or a completely valid reason but either way please give it to me), someone she goes out dancing/partying with at piccolo, a sibling like relationship, a confidante, someone who she trusts to read her comic and maybe even do some linework, and absolutely anything else okay my brain is fried rn but i want it all! please like this and i will slip and slide into your dms <3

[coaldplay]

Promise of Mother’s Love: chapter 1 - “The Namikaze Testament”

The Premise: Obito Uchiha failed, but only partially. Before he managed to separate Minato and Kushina, the Fourth Hokage managed to close the seal. This prompted Obito to kill Kushina and, as a result of her death, Kyuubi's chakra dispersed. It will take approximately around twenty years to gather again. The political status quo has been irrevocably destroyed, and the temptation to seize this opportunity may prove to be too strong for the Kages. Meanwhile, in the shadows, Akatsuki plans to pull all the villages into the Fourth Shinobi World War. RinneganButNotOP!Naruto. _

*30 years after the death of Indra Otsutsuki*

„This is the will of Tendo Namikaze, who lived eighty-three years, who was husband to Tsunami Namikaze and father to Rashoumon." – inscription on a strange longitudinal wooden box in an unknown place. It contained an old document, rolled up and secured.

How many years have passed? I've lost count long time ago. I used to care about it... now I don't care about anything that is in my past.

My father's eyes have never shown me love.

My great-grandmother was a revelation of Kekkei Mora. Father of my father, the great Hagoromo, possessed her Kekkei Mora. My father received half of Hagoromo's power, eyes red as blood and black as night. Stern and harsh, they were.

Second son of my grandfather, noble Asura, never had those eyes. Maybe that's why he became such a good man.

I am third son of my father, his fifth descendant, because my two sisters were born to him before me. I have four brothers and three sisters.

Each of my brothers and sisters, before they reached age of full maturity, had awoken the eyes of my father. The Sharingan.

I have never received this honor.

Years went by, my younger brother and my younger sister had received those eyes, before me.

At that time, in my youth, I used to be a man full of regret and anger.

My father's eyes never gave me love, but it was only when the time of waiting had finally ended, that I saw in them something else - disappointment.

Indra never forgot his defeat at the hands of his brother Asura. When I turned out to be a disappointment, he saw in me only a shadow of his own past.

During my youth, first, I felt anger. Then, guiltiness. After that, I felt caged.

I was exiled by my family, so I left my home. I was full of sadness, but there was also, finally, a relief.

In exile, I went to my cousins, but they did not trust me. Shortly after I came to them, Asura died. Asura's people considered my arrival a bad sign and accused me of Asura's death. I had nothing to do with it.

My father, Indra, died shortly after him.

I, Tendo, third son of my father, Indra, never during his lifetime, nor when he left this world, did I awake his eyes like my brothers and sisters. I became the Outcast.

I pass all my belongings to my beloved wife, Tsunami Namikaze. In case she leaves this world before me, I pass all my belongings to my only son, who is the only one entitled to them, but after my wife.

In my will, which I dictate to my only son, Rashoumon, I declare, that Tendo was the name I received from my father, Otsutsuki was the name that was taken away from me, and Namikaze is the name of my wife, from whom I received it and which she gave me, when we became one.

My name has not been an Otsutsuki for fifty years now, and despite this powerful name, my male descendants who read this, your name, now and forever will be Namikaze, which I accepted and received as my own.

It is only fair, that my old life, taken away from me, will be marked with an old name, and the new life, that has been given to me and which you received from me, my descendants, will be marked with a new name.

Written by Rashoumon Namikaze, dictated by Tendo Namikaze. Confirmed by Tsunami Namikaze.

[whimsiesofanerdgirl]

Choose Your Own Adventure | Spooky Edition

October is here and you know what that means…GIMMEH ALL THE SPOOKY BOOKS!!!

We all know that Fall is THE season for reading, I don’t make up the rules. I just go with it.

It’s the first official month of coziness, hoodies, the best smelling candles, leaves changing, watching scary movies, and reading all those atmospheric books you’ve been saving up for the best time of the year! :)

I thought it would be fun to make a list of different spooky books depending on your preference so I categorized them because I like organizing book lists. I should have a plaque for it. Seriously.

So read on to get scary, spooky, and paranormal recommended reads. Then go get yourself the book and hunker down under a fluffy blanket and read to your heart’s content. <3

GHOSTS, HAUNTINGS, & THE DEAD

The Mediator series by Meg Cabot

Synopsis:

Suze is a mediator -- a liaison between the living and the dead. In other words, she sees dead people. And they won't leave her alone until she helps them resolve their unfinished business with the living. But Jesse, the hot ghost haunting her bedroom, doesn't seem to need her help. Which is a relief, because Suze has just moved to sunny California and plans to start fresh, with trips to the mall instead of the cemetery, and surfing instead of spectral visitations.

But the very first day at her new school, Suze realizes it's not that easy. There's a ghost with revenge on her mind ... and Suze happens to be in the way.

I loved reading these when I was in high school, but I still need to finish reading them all. It’s an oldie and a goodie! Plus, Suze has a good looking ghost named Jesse haunting her bedroom so there’s that too. ;)

Soul Screamers series by Rachel Vincent

Synopsis:

She doesn't see dead people. She senses when someone near her is about to die. And when that happens, a force beyond her control compels her to scream bloody murder. Literally. Kaylee just wants to enjoy having caught the attention of the hottest guy in school. But a normal date is hard to come by when Nash seems to know more about her need to scream than she does. And when classmates start dropping dead for no apparent reason, only Kaylee knows who'll be next.

I heard so much hype about this series, mostly positive things, but have yet to actually read it off my TBR. The ratings range from 3.5+ to 4ish stars so it must be good!

The Fade by Demitria Lunetta

Synopsis:

We don't want to disappear. We want to be found. Something terrible happened in her basement. Haley can feel it. Four girls went missing several years ago, and the police never solved the case. But Haley know the missing girls were murdered. How else can she explain the hostile presence in her house? The ghostly girls need something from her. And unless Haley can figure out what they want...she might be next.

The Witch of Willow Hall by Hester Fox

Synopsis:

Two centuries after the Salem witch trials, there’s still one witch left in Massachusetts. But she doesn’t even know it. Take this as a warning: if you are not able or willing to control yourself, it will not only be you who suffers the consequences but those around you, as well. New Oldbury, 1821 In the wake of a scandal, the Montrose family and their three daughters—Catherine, Lydia, and Emeline—flee Boston for their new country home, Willow Hall. The estate seems sleepy and idyllic. But a subtle menace creeps into the atmosphere, remnants of a dark history that call to Lydia, and to the youngest, Emeline. All three daughters will be irrevocably changed by what follows, but none more than Lydia, who must draw on a power she never knew she possessed if she wants to protect those she loves. For Willow Hall’s secrets will rise, in the end…

Haunting Emma series by Lee Nichols

Synopsis:

When Emma Vaile's parents leave on mysterious business trip, it gives her the perfect excuse to be a rebellious teen. Throw some parties, get a tattoo (or maybe just a piercing), and enjoy the first few weeks of her junior year. Then her best friend stops talking to her, the cops crash her party, and Emma finds herself in the hands of a new guardian?her college-age "knight in J.Crew armor," Bennett Stern?and on a plane to his museum-like mansion in New England.

After enrolling at Thatcher Academy, Emma settles in by making friends with the popular legacy crowd. But she can't shake the strange visions that are haunting her. She has memories of Thatcher she can't explain, as if she's returning home to a place she's never been. Emma doesn't trust anyone anymore?except maybe Bennett. But he's about to reveal a ghostly secret to Emma. One that will explain the visions . . . and make Emma fear for her life.

The Soul Seekers series by Alyson Noel

Synopsis:

Until now, he's existed only in her dreams - but fate is about to bring them together. I shove through the crowd, knocking into girls and bouncing off boys, until one in particular catches me, steadies me. I feel so secure, so at home in his arms. I melt against his chest-lift my gaze to meet his. Gasping when I stare into a pair of icy blue eyes banded by brilliant flecks of gold that shine like kaleidoscopes, reflecting my image thousands of times. The boy from my dream. The one who died in my arms. Strange things are happening to Daire Santos. Crows mock her, glowing people stalk her, time stops without warning, and a beautiful boy with unearthly blue eyes haunts all her dreams. Fearing for her daughter’s sanity, Daire’s mother sends her to live with the grandmother she’s never met. A woman who recognizes the visions for what they truly are—the call to her destiny as a Soul Seeker—one who can navigate the worlds between the living and dead. There on the dusty plains of Enchantment, New Mexico, Daire sets out to harness her mystical powers. But it’s when she meets Dace, the boy from her dreams, that her whole world is shaken to its core. Now Daire is forced to discover if Dace is the one guy she's meant to be with...or if he’s allied with the enemy she's destined to destroy.

This is another series I need to finish! I got through book 3, but it definitely kept my attention. I haven’t read a lot of books about Native American rituals and I found it so fascinating in this series. Not to mention the cute boy and spirit walking!

HORROR

The Last ApprenticeI series by Joseph Delaney

Synopsis:

For years, Old Gregory has been the Spook for the county, ridding the local villages of evil. Now his time is coming to an end. But who will take over for him? Twenty-nine apprentices have tried—some floundered, some fled, some failed to stay alive. Only Thomas Ward is left. He's the last hope, the last apprentice.

I’ve never read this series though I have watched the movie which I enjoyed. From what I’ve heard from my hubby it’s a super freaky book series and to be honest the book covers confirm that for me!

The Archived series by Victoria Schwab

Synopsis:

Imagine a place where the dead rest on shelves like books. Each body has a story to tell, a life seen in pictures only Librarians can read. The dead are called Histories, and the vast realm in which they rest is the Archive. Da first brought Mackenzie Bishop here four years ago, when she was twelve years old, frightened but determined to prove herself. Now Da is dead, and Mac has grown into what he once was: a ruthless Keeper, tasked with stopping often violent Histories from waking up and getting out. Because of her job, she lies to the people she loves, and she knows fear for what it is: a useful tool for staying alive. Being a Keeper isn't just dangerous—it's a constant reminder of those Mac has lost, Da's death was hard enough, but now that her little brother is gone too, Mac starts to wonder about the boundary between living and dying, sleeping and waking. In the Archive, the dead must never be disturbed. And yet, someone is deliberately altering Histories, erasing essential chapters. Unless Mac can piece together what remains, the Archive itself may crumble and fall. In this haunting, richly imagined novel, Victoria Schwab reveals the thin lines between past and present, love and pain, trust and deceit, unbearable loss and hard-won redemption.

The strange thing about this series is that I never heard much about it online. I came across it randomly scouring Goodreads one day last year or so. Victoria Schwab is basically the dark fantasy queen in the online YA community which is partially the reason I put it on my TBR list. Recently it’s been in the news that we will be getting a TV series for it on the CW so boys and girls bump this up on your TBR so you don’t miss out!

Miss Peregrine’s Peculiar Children series by Ransom Riggs

Synopsis:

A mysterious island. An abandoned orphanage. A strange collection of very curious photographs. It all waits to be discovered in Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children, an unforgettable novel that mixes fiction and photography in a thrilling reading experience. As our story opens, a horrific family tragedy sets sixteen-year-old Jacob journeying to a remote island off the coast of Wales, where he discovers the crumbling ruins of Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children. As Jacob explores its abandoned bedrooms and hallways, it becomes clear that the children were more than just peculiar. They may have been dangerous. They may have been quarantined on a deserted island for good reason. And somehow-impossible though it seems-they may still be alive. A spine-tingling fantasy illustrated with haunting vintage photography, Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children will delight adults, teens, and anyone who relishes an adventure in the shadows.

If this book is anything like the movie it is FREAKY! I’d give this 5 out of 5 stars for the scary factor. You’ve been forewarned.

The Missing Season by Gillian French

Synopsis:

Whenever another kid goes missing in October, the Pender kids know what is really behind it: a horrific monster out in the marshes they have named the Mumbler. That’s what Clara’s new crew tells her when she moves to town: Bree and Sage, who take her under their wing; spirited Trace, who has taken the lead on this year’s Halloween prank war; and magnetic Kincaid, whose devil-may-care attitude and air of mystery are impossible for Clara to resist. Clara doesn’t actually believe in the Mumbler. But as Halloween gets closer and tensions build in the town, it’s hard to shake the feeling that there really is something dark and dangerous in Pender, lurking in the shadows, waiting to bring the stories to life.

His Hideous Heart by 13 YA Authors / Edited by Dahlia Adler

Synopsis:

Thirteen of YA’s most celebrated names reimagine Edgar Allan Poe’s most surprising, unsettling, and popular tales for a new generation. Edgar Allan Poe may be a hundred and fifty years beyond this world, but the themes of his beloved works have much in common with modern young adult fiction. Whether the stories are familiar to readers or discovered for the first time, readers will revel in Edgar Allan Poe’s classic tales, and how they’ve been brought to life in 13 unique and unforgettable ways. Contributors include Kendare Blake (reimagining “Metzengerstein”), Rin Chupeco (“The Murders in the Rue Morge”), Lamar Giles (“The Oval Portrait”), Tessa Gratton (“Annabel Lee”), Tiffany D. Jackson (“The Cask of Amontillado”), Stephanie Kuehn (“The Tell-Tale Heart”), Emily Lloyd-Jones (“The Purloined Letter”), Hillary Monahan (“The Masque of the Red Death”), Marieke Nijkamp (“Hop-Frog”), Caleb Roehrig (“The Pit and the Pendulum”), and Fran Wilde (“The Fall of the House of Usher”).

The Beast is an Animal by Peternelle van Arsdale

Synopsis:

A girl with a secret talent must save her village from the encroaching darkness in this haunting and deeply satisfying tale. Alys was seven when the soul eaters came to her village. These soul eaters, twin sisters who were abandoned by their father and slowly morphed into something not quite human, devour human souls. Alys, and all the other children, were spared—and they were sent to live in a neighboring village. There the devout people created a strict world where good and evil are as fundamental as the nursery rhymes children sing. Fear of the soul eaters—and of the Beast they believe guides them—rule village life. But the Beast is not what they think it is. And neither is Alys. Inside, Alys feels connected to the soul eaters, and maybe even to the Beast itself. As she grows from a child to a teenager, she longs for the freedom of the forest. And she has a gift she can tell no one, for fear they will call her a witch. When disaster strikes, Alys finds herself on a journey to heal herself and her world. A journey that will take her through the darkest parts of the forest, where danger threatens her from the outside—and from within her own heart and soul.

This has probably been one of the creepiest books I’ve ever read, but I’ve also never read Stephen King soooo take that however you’d like. Might want to read this one in the day time to be on the safe side.

VAMPIRES

The Beautiful by Renee Ahdieh

Synopsis:

In 1872, New Orleans is a city ruled by the dead. But to seventeen-year-old Celine Rousseau, New Orleans provides her a refuge after she's forced to flee her life as a dressmaker in Paris. Taken in by the sisters of the Ursuline convent along with six other girls, Celine quickly becomes enamored with the vibrant city from the music to the food to the soirées and—especially—to the danger. She soon becomes embroiled in the city's glitzy underworld, known as La Cour des Lions, after catching the eye of the group's leader, the enigmatic Sébastien Saint Germain. When the body of one of the girls from the convent is found in the lair of La Cour des Lions, Celine battles her attraction to him and suspicions about Sébastien's guilt along with the shame of her own horrible secret. When more bodies are discovered, each crime more gruesome than the last, Celine and New Orleans become gripped by the terror of a serial killer on the loose—one Celine is sure has set her in his sights . . . and who may even be the young man who has stolen her heart. As the murders continue to go unsolved, Celine takes matters into her own hands and soon uncovers something even more shocking: an age-old feud from the darkest creatures of the underworld reveals a truth about Celine she always suspected simmered just beneath the surface. At once a sultry romance and a thrilling murder mystery, master storyteller Renée Ahdieh embarks on her most potent fantasy series yet: The Beautiful.

There has been soooo much hype around this one and yes, it’s on my TBR. If you’re into Vampire Diaries this sounds like a great read for you!

Blue Bloods series by Melissa de la Cruz

Synopsis:

When the Mayflower set sail in 1620, it carried on board the men and women who would shape America: Miles Standish; John Alden; Constance Hopkins. But some among the Pilgrims were not pure of heart; they were not escaping religious persecution. Indeed, they were not even human. They were vampires. The vampires assimilated quickly into the New World. Rising to levels of enormous power, wealth, and influence, they were the celebrated blue bloods of American society. The Blue Bloods vowed that their immortal status would remain a closely guarded secret. And they kept that secret for centuries. But now, in New York City, the secret is seeping out. Schuyler Van Alen is a sophomore at a prestigious private school. She prefers baggy, vintage clothes instead of the Prada and pearls worn by her classmates, and she lives with her reclusive grandmother in a dilapated mansion. Schuyler is a loner...and happy that way. Suddenly, when she turns fifteen, there is a visible mosaic of blue veins on her arm. She starts to crave raw food and she is having flashbacks to ancient times. Then a popular girl from her school is found dead... drained of all her blood. Schuyler doesn't know what to think, but she wants to find out the secrets the Blue Bloods are keeping. But is she herself in danger?

I remember reading this yeeears ago when it first came out and now all I can think of is Gossip Girl, but with vampires.

Sunshine by Robin McKinley

Synopsis:

There had not been any trouble out at the lake in years. Sunshine just needed a spot where she could be alone with her thoughts for a minute. But then the vampires found her . . . Now, chained and imprisoned in a once-beautiful decaying mansion, alone but for the vampire, Constantine, shackled next to her, Sunshine realizes that she must call on her own hidden strength if she is to survive. But Constantine is not what she expected of a vampire, and soon Sunshine discovers that it is he who needs her, more than either of them know. Originally published as an adult novel, but now in YA for the first time, Sunshine is an alluring and captivating vampire story one that will ensnare fans of paranormals everywhere.

I loved this book! If you’re in the mood for something fresh in the vampire genre you should check it out. Plus, I HIGHLY recommend Robin McKinley in general. She has absolutely amazing fairy tale retellings!

Twilight series by Stephenie Meyer

Synopsis:

About three things I was absolutely positive. First, Edward was a vampire. Second, there was a part of him—and I didn't know how dominant that part might be—that thirsted for my blood. And third, I was unconditionally and irrevocably in love with him. In the first book of the Twilight Saga, internationally bestselling author Stephenie Meyer introduces Bella Swan and Edward Cullen, a pair of star-crossed lovers whose forbidden relationship ripens against the backdrop of small-town suspicion and a mysterious coven of vampires. This is a love story with bite.

What kind of list would this be without the Twilight saga? If you haven’t heard of this before, have you been living under a rock? It’s a great story that pulls you in - you’ve got your historical fiction back story, folklore, vampires, romance, love triangle further in the series if you’re into that kinda thing (yes, I am).

Vampire Academy series by Richelle Mead

Synopsis:

Only a true best friend can protect you from your immortal enemies . . . Lissa Dragomir is a Moroi princess: a mortal vampire with a rare gift for harnessing the earth's magic. She must be protected at all times from Strigoi; the fiercest vampires - the ones who never die. The powerful blend of human and vampire blood that flows through Rose Hathaway, Lissa's best friend, makes her a dhampir. Rose is dedicated to a dangerous life of protecting Lissa from the Strigoi, who are hell-bent on making Lissa one of them. After two years of freedom, Rose and Lissa are caught and dragged back to St. Vladimir's Academy, a school for vampire royalty and their guardians-to-be, hidden in the deep forests of Montana. But inside the iron gates, life is even more fraught with danger . . . and the Strigoi are always close by. Rose and Lissa must navigate their dangerous world, confront the temptations of forbidden love, and never once let their guard down, lest the evil undead make Lissa one of them forever . . .

This was another vampire teenage sensation of its time. I have yet to get around to reading this (I’m looking at you TBR pile…and there’s this thing called new releases, sigh), but from what I’ve heard many people enjoyed it in the online community. It’s only right that we all get a taste of this!

House of Night series by P.C. Cast & Kristin Cast

Synopsis:

After a Vampire Tracker Marks her with a crescent moon on her forehead, 16-year-old Zoey Redbird enters the House of Night and learns that she is no average fledgling. She has been Marked as special by the vampyre Goddess Nyx and has affinities for all five elements: Air, Fire Water, Earth and Spirit. But she is not the only fledgling at the House of Night with special powers. When she discovers that the leader of the Dark Daughters, the school’s most elite club, is mis-using her Goddess-given gifts, Zoey must look deep within herself for the courage to embrace her destiny – with a little help from her new vampyre friends (or Nerd Herd, as Aphrodite calls them).

This is what I’d call another popular staple of the vampire era (which tbh I feel like vamps are coming back - YESH). I’d say these were as big as the Twilight series though they must not have gotten enough hype to get its own movie series or TV show. I loved the mix of different races and magic, it wasn’t just about vampires. If you’re feeling vampires and want different elements you should give it a shot.

SHAPESHIFTERS

The Mercy Thompson series by Patricia Briggs

Synopsis:

Mercedes Thompson, aka Mercy, is a talented Volkswagen mechanic living in the Tri-Cities area of Washington. She also happens to be a walker, a magical being with the power to shift into a coyote at will. Mercy's next-door neighbor is a werewolf. Her former boss is a gremlin. And she's fixing a bus for a vampire. This is the world of Mercy Thompson, one that looks a lot like ours but is populated by those things that go bump in the night. And Mercy's connection to those things is about to get her into some serious hot water...

This is an adult paranormal romance series, but my god…I LOOOOOVE IT WITH A PASSION! This is literally in my top 5 faves and for good reason. There are a multitude of creatures/races and I really love that aspect along with the fact that it’s an urban fantasy. Patricia Briggs writes so well that you’ll think that the story is based off real events and feel like you’re inside the story itself. It’s got werewolves, skinwalkers, vampires, fae, and other races as well. If you want to immerse yourself into the paranormal universe this is the series you’re looking for.

Shifters series by Rachel Vincent

Synopsis:

There are only eight breeding female werecats left... And I'm one of them. I look like an all-American grad student. But I am a werecat, a shape-shifter, and I live in two worlds. Despite reservations from my family and my Pride, I escaped the pressure to continue my species and carved out a normal life for myself. Until the night a Stray attacked. I'd been warned about Strays — werecats without a Pride, constantly on the lookout for someone like me: attractive, female, and fertile. I fought him off, but then learned two of my fellow tabbies had disappeared. This brush with danger was all my Pride needed to summon me back... for my own protection. Yeah, right. But I'm no meek kitty. I'll take on whatever — and whoever — I have to in order to find my friends. Watch out, Strays — 'cause I got claws, and I'm not afraid to use them...

Rachel Vincent is a phenomenal writer. She has written both YA and adult series though I haven’t read any of her YA books, I was entranced with her Shifters series. The way she writes her characters and you can really feel the intensity of the relationships between them. I highly recommend this series if you love the shapeshifter genre.

Nightshade series by Andrea Cremer

Synopsis:

Calla Tor has always known her destiny: After graduating from the Mountain School, she'll be the mate of sexy alpha wolf Ren Laroche and fight with him, side by side, ruling their pack and guarding sacred sites for the Keepers. But when she violates her masters' laws by saving a beautiful human boy out for a hike, Calla begins to question her fate, her existence, and the very essence of the world she has known. By following her heart, she might lose everything- including her own life. Is forbidden love worth the ultimate sacrifice? "A finely-wrought compelling tale of romance and treachery..." -Cynthia Leitich Smith (New York Times bestselling author of Eternal and Tantalize)

The Wolves of Mercy Falls series by Maggie Stiefvater

Synopsis:

For years, Grace has watched the wolves in the woods behind her house. One yellow-eyed wolf—her wolf—is a chilling presence she can't seem to live without. Meanwhile, Sam has lived two lives: In winter, the frozen woods, the protection of the pack, and the silent company of a fearless girl. In summer, a few precious months of being human… until the cold makes him shift back again. Now, Grace meets a yellow-eyed boy whose familiarity takes her breath away. It's her wolf. It has to be. But as winter nears, Sam must fight to stay human—or risk losing himself, and Grace, forever.

This isn’t your usual werewolf story. If I remember correctly, werewolves in this series have a genetic mutation that causes them to shift when the weather turns colder and appear to turn more wolf than man. This was a lovely trilogy of romance and if you read reviews on Goodreads you’ll find many others agree. The twist on shapeshifters and simple romantic relationship between Grace and Sam will have you rooting for them on page one.

Otherkin series by Nina Berry

Synopsis:

Dez is a good girl who does as she's told and tries not to be noticed. Then she rescues a boy from a cage, and he tells her secrets about herself. Now inside her burns a darkness that will transform her. Everything is about to change--and neither Caleb, nor the Otherkin, nor those who hunt them, are prepared for what Dez will unleash.

The Harbinger series by Jennifer L. Armentrout

Synopsis:

Eighteen-year-old Trinity Marrow may be going blind, but she can see and communicate with ghosts and spirits. Her unique gift is part of a secret so dangerous that she’s been in hiding for years in an isolated compound fiercely guarded by Wardens—gargoyle shape-shifters who protect humankind from demons. If the demons discover the truth about Trinity, they’ll devour her, flesh and bone, to enhance their own powers. When Wardens from another clan arrive with disturbing reports that something out there is killing both demons and Wardens, Trinity’s safe world implodes. Not the least because one of the outsiders is the most annoying and fascinating person she’s ever met. Zayne has secrets of his own that will upend her world yet again—but working together becomes imperative once demons breach the compound and Trinity’s secret comes to light. To save her family and maybe the world, she’ll have to put her trust in Zayne. But all bets are off as a supernatural war is unleashed…

Gargoyle shapeshifters? YES! COUNT ME IN! I loved the animated show Gargoyles. *smiles fondly of childhood memories* If you know of any other gargoyle shapeshifter stories please leave them down in the comments for me to check out!!!

WITCHES & WIZARDS

Harry Potter series by J.K. Rowling

Synopsis:

Harry Potter's life is miserable. His parents are dead and he's stuck with his heartless relatives, who force him to live in a tiny closet under the stairs. But his fortune changes when he receives a letter that tells him the truth about himself: he's a wizard. A mysterious visitor rescues him from his relatives and takes him to his new home, Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. After a lifetime of bottling up his magical powers, Harry finally feels like a normal kid. But even within the Wizarding community, he is special. He is the boy who lived: the only person to have ever survived a killing curse inflicted by the evil Lord Voldemort, who launched a brutal takeover of the Wizarding world, only to vanish after failing to kill Harry. Though Harry's first year at Hogwarts is the best of his life, not everything is perfect. There is a dangerous secret object hidden within the castle walls, and Harry believes it's his responsibility to prevent it from falling into evil hands. But doing so will bring him into contact with forces more terrifying than he ever could have imagined. Full of sympathetic characters, wildly imaginative situations, and countless exciting details, the first installment in the series assembles an unforgettable magical world and sets the stage for many high-stakes adventures to come.

What kind of monster would I be if I didn’t include the Harry Potter books!?!?!?! The PERFECT mood for Halloween, autumn, and the upcoming holidays… I love the fact that J.K. Rowling writes those holidays into the story because it adds just the right amount of extra magic into them, not to mention witches and wizards! I will always recommend these because they helped me get into reading when I was a young-in.

The Black Witch Chronicles series by Laurie Forest

Synopsis:

A new Black Witch will rise…her powers vast beyond imagining. Elloren Gardner is the granddaughter of the last prophesied Black Witch, Carnissa Gardner, who drove back the enemy forces and saved the Gardnerian people during the Realm War. But while she is the absolute spitting image of her famous grandmother, Elloren is utterly devoid of power in a society that prizes magical ability above all else. When she is granted the opportunity to pursue her lifelong dream of becoming an apothecary, Elloren joins her brothers at the prestigious Verpax University to embrace a destiny of her own, free from the shadow of her grandmother’s legacy. But she soon realizes that the university, which admits all manner of people—including the fire-wielding, winged Icarals, the sworn enemies of all Gardnerians—is a treacherous place for the granddaughter of the Black Witch. As evil looms on the horizon and the pressure to live up to her heritage builds, everything Elloren thought she knew will be challenged and torn away. Her best hope of survival may be among the most unlikely band of misfits…if only she can find the courage to trust those she’s been taught to hate and fear.

Practical Magic by Alice Hoffman

Synopsis:

The Owens sisters confront the challenges of life and love in this bewitching novel from New York Times bestselling author Alice Hoffman. For more than two hundred years, the Owens women have been blamed for everything that has gone wrong in their Massachusetts town. Gillian and Sally have endured that fate as well: as children, the sisters were forever outsiders, taunted, talked about, pointed at. Their elderly aunts almost seemed to encourage the whispers of witchery, with their musty house and their exotic concoctions and their crowd of black cats. But all Gillian and Sally wanted was to escape. One will do so by marrying, the other by running away. But the bonds they share will bring them back—almost as if by magic...

I’ve never read the book, but the movie is my absolute favorite to watch for Halloween (besides the obvious and popular Hocus Pocus). If you’re in the mood for some good old fashioned witchy fun go buy or loan it out from your local library!

The Wicked Deep by Shea Ernshaw

Synopsis:

Welcome to the cursed town of Sparrow… Where, two centuries ago, three sisters were sentenced to death for witchery. Stones were tied to their ankles and they were drowned in the deep waters surrounding the town. Now, for a brief time each summer, the sisters return, stealing the bodies of three weak-hearted girls so that they may seek their revenge, luring boys into the harbor and pulling them under. Like many locals, seventeen-year-old Penny Talbot has accepted the fate of the town. But this year, on the eve of the sisters’ return, a boy named Bo Carter arrives; unaware of the danger he has just stumbled into. Mistrust and lies spread quickly through the salty, rain-soaked streets. The townspeople turn against one another. Penny and Bo suspect each other of hiding secrets. And death comes swiftly to those who cannot resist the call of the sisters. But only Penny sees what others cannot. And she will be forced to choose: save Bo, or save herself.

Sweep series by Cate Tiernan

Synopsis:

Includes: Book 1 - Book of Shadows Book 2 - The Coven Book 3 - Blood Witch The first three Sweep books bound into one gorgeous edition at a fabulous price! Morgan Rowlands never thought she was anything other than a typical sixteen-year-old girl. But when she meets Cal, a captivatingly handsome coven leader, she makes a discover that turns her whole world upside down: she is a witch, descended from an ancient and powerful line. And so is Cal. Their connection is immediate and unbreakable; Cal teases out Morgan's power, her love, her magick. But Morgan discovers too soon that her powers are strong-- almost too powerful to control. And she begins to suspect that Cal may be keeping secrets from her . . . secrets that could destroy them both.

I NEED TO GET MY HANDS ON VOLUME TWO! I really enjoyed volume 1 because it took me back to my high school days and plus it enlightened me on the practice of Wicca. Some people tend to be turned off by the teenage drama, but that’s kind of a given when it comes to most high school related books. If you can get past that I think it has a lot of information on Wiccan spirituality if you’re interested in learning more or to dip your toes in.

Wicked series by Nancy Holder and Debbie Viguie

Synopsis:

Complete text of Witch and Curse in a single volume. Holly Cathers's world shatters when her parents are killed in a terrible accident. Wrenched from her home in San Francisco, she is sent to Seattle to live with her relatives, Aunt Marie-Claire and her twin cousins, Amanda and Nicole. In her new home, Holly's sorrow and grief soon give way to bewilderment at the strange incidents going on around her. Such as how any wish she whispers to her cat seems to come true. Or the way a friend is injured after a freak attack from a vicious falcon. And there's the undeniable, magnetic attraction to a boy Holly barely knows. Holly, Amanda, and Nicole are about to be launced into a dark legacy of witches, secrets, and alliances, where ancient magics yield dangerous results. The girls will assume their roles in an intergenerational feud beyond their wildest imaginations...and in doing so, will attempt to fulfill their shared destiny.

It’s been so long since I’ve read this series, but watch out! I feel like these books were a lot darker and heavier than your average YA witch book.

ZOMBIES

Dread Nation series by Justina Ireland

Synopsis:

Jane McKeene was born two days before the dead began to walk the battlefields of Gettysburg and Chancellorsville—derailing the War Between the States and changing America forever. In this new nation, safety for all depends on the work of a few, and laws like the Native and Negro Reeducation Act require certain children attend combat schools to learn to put down the dead. But there are also opportunities—and Jane is studying to become an Attendant, trained in both weaponry and etiquette to protect the well-to-do. It’s a chance for a better life for Negro girls like Jane. After all, not even being the daughter of a wealthy white Southern woman could save her from society’s expectations. But that’s not a life Jane wants. Almost finished with her education at Miss Preston’s School of Combat in Baltimore, Jane is set on returning to her Kentucky home and doesn’t pay much mind to the politics of the eastern cities, with their talk of returning America to the glory of its days before the dead rose. But when families around Baltimore County begin to go missing, Jane is caught in the middle of a conspiracy, one that finds her in a desperate fight for her life against some powerful enemies. And the restless dead, it would seem, are the least of her problems.

Zombies and the historical reimagining of the Civil War. What more could you want? Also, why haven’t I read this one yet!?! I completely forgot about this being on my TBR and then remembered when making this list. *makes a mental note*

Rot & Ruin series by Jonathan Maberry

Synopsis:

In the zombie-infested, post-apocalyptic America where Benny Imura lives, every teenager must find a job by the time they turn fifteen or get their rations cut in half. Benny doesn't want to apprentice as a zombie hunter with his boring older brother Tom, but he has no choice. He expects a tedious job whacking zoms for cash, but what he gets is a vocation that will teach him what it means to be human.

Something Strange and Deadly series by Susan Dennard

Synopsis:

There's something strange and deadly loose in Philadelphia. . . . Eleanor Fitt has a lot to worry about. Her brother has gone missing, her family has fallen on hard times, and her mother is determined to marry her off to any rich young man who walks by. But this is nothing compared to what she's just read in the newspaper: The Dead are rising in Philadelphia. And then, in a frightening attack, a zombie delivers a letter to Eleanor . . . from her brother. Whoever is controlling the Dead army has taken her brother as well. If Eleanor is going to find him, she'll have to venture into the lab of the notorious Spirit-Hunters, who protect the city from supernatural forces. But as Eleanor spends more time with the Spirit-Hunters, including the maddeningly stubborn yet handsome Daniel, the situation becomes dire. And now, not only is her reputation on the line, but her very life may hang in the balance.

I just…UGH, this series hit me in the FEELS! OKAY!?! These books had me coming back for more and I found myself devastated when I finished the trilogy. T_T But please read them! This story deserves to be heard!

The Forest of Hands and Teeth series by Carrie Ryan

Synopsis:

In Mary's world there are simple truths. The Sisterhood always knows best. The Guardians will protect and serve. The Unconsecrated will never relent. And you must always mind the fence that surrounds the village; the fence that protects the village from the Forest of Hands and Teeth. But, slowly, Mary’s truths are failing her. She’s learning things she never wanted to know about the Sisterhood and its secrets, and the Guardians and their power, and about the Unconsecrated and their relentlessness. When the fence is breached and her world is thrown into chaos, she must choose between her village and her future—between the one she loves and the one who loves her. And she must face the truth about the Forest of Hands and Teeth. Could there be life outside a world surrounded by so much death?

The Hollows series by Amanda Hocking

Synopsis:

This is the way the world ends - not with a bang or a whimper, but with zombies breaking down the back door. Nineteen-year-old Remy King is on a mission to get across the wasteland left of America, and nothing will stand in her way - not violent marauders, a spoiled rock star, or an army of flesh-eating zombies.

Warm Bodies series by Isaac Marion

Synopsis:

Now a major motion picture from Summit Entertainment. R is having a no-life crisis—he is a zombie. He has no memories, no identity, and no pulse, but he is a little different from his fellow Dead. He may occasionally eat people, but he’d rather be riding abandoned airport escalators, listening to Sinatra in the cozy 747 he calls home, or collecting souvenirs from the ruins of civilization. And then he meets a girl. First as his captive, then his reluctant guest, Julie is a blast of living color in R’s gray landscape, and something inside him begins to bloom. He doesn't want to eat this girl—although she looks delicious—he wants to protect her. But their unlikely bond will cause ripples they can’t imagine, and their hopeless world won’t change without a fight.

A unique twist on the usual zombies take over the world trope. This is the story of a zombie who falls in love with a human. Can they make the relationship work?

DEMONS

Lady Helen series by Alison Goodman

Synopsis:

From the New York Times bestselling author of Eon and Eona; a Regency adventure series starring a stylish and intrepid Buffy-esque demon-hunter London, April 1812. On the eve of eighteen-year-old Lady Helen Wrexhall's presentation to the queen, one of her family's housemaids disappears-and Helen is drawn into the shadows of Regency London. There, she meets Lord Carlston, one of the few who can stop the perpetrators: a cabal of demons infiltrating every level of society. Dare she ask for his help, when his reputation is almost as black as his lingering eyes? And will her intelligence and headstrong curiosity wind up leading them into a death trap?

OMG. THIS IS THE BOOK SERIES I DIDN’T KNOW I NEEDED IN MY LIFE. I’ve always loved the rebellious girl in historical fiction trope and tbh this upped the goodness on so many levels. It kinda gives me Pride and Prejudice vibes, but with demons and demon hunting!

The Hearts We Sold by Emily Lloyd

Synopsis:

When Dee Moreno makes a deal with a demon—her heart in exchange for an escape from a disastrous home life—she finds the trade may have been more than she bargained for. And becoming “heartless” is only the beginning. What lies ahead is a nightmare far bigger, far more monstrous than anything she could have ever imagined. With reality turned on its head, Dee has only a group of other deal-making teens to keep her grounded, including the charming but secretive James Lancer. And as something grows between them amid an otherworldy ordeal, Dee begins to wonder: Can she give someone her heart when it’s no longer hers to give?

Another trope I love are bargains! How will the trade made between her and the demon backfire?

The Epic Crush of Genie Lo series by F.C. Yee

Synopsis:

Genie Lo is one among droves of Ivy-hopeful overachievers in her sleepy Bay Area suburb. You know, the type who wins. When she’s not crushing it at volleyball or hitting the books, Genie is typically working on how to crack the elusive Harvard entry code. But when her hometown comes under siege from hellspawn straight out of Chinese folklore, her priorities are dramatically rearranged. Enter Quentin Sun, a mysterious new kid in class who becomes Genie’s self-appointed guide to battling demons. While Genie knows Quentin only as an attractive transfer student with an oddly formal command of the English language, in another reality he is Sun Wukong, the mythological Monkey King incarnate—right down to the furry tale and penchant for peaches. Suddenly, acing the SATs is the least of Genie’s worries. The fates of her friends, family, and the entire Bay Area all depend on her summoning an inner power that Quentin assures her is strong enough to level the very gates of Heaven. But every second Genie spends tapping into the secret of her true nature is a second in which the lives of her loved ones hang in the balance.

The Mortal Instruments series by Cassandra Clare

Synopsis:

When fifteen-year-old Clary Fray heads out to the Pandemonium Club in New York City, she hardly expects to witness a murder― much less a murder committed by three teenagers covered with strange tattoos and brandishing bizarre weapons. Then the body disappears into thin air. It's hard to call the police when the murderers are invisible to everyone else and when there is nothing―not even a smear of blood―to show that a boy has died. Or was he a boy? This is Clary's first meeting with the Shadowhunters, warriors dedicated to ridding the earth of demons. It's also her first encounter with Jace, a Shadowhunter who looks a little like an angel and acts a lot like a jerk. Within twenty-four hours Clary is pulled into Jace's world with a vengeance when her mother disappears and Clary herself is attacked by a demon. But why would demons be interested in ordinary mundanes like Clary and her mother? And how did Clary suddenly get the Sight? The Shadowhunters would like to know...

It’s nice to read this series since you can actually watch it as a movie or the TV series. I’ve heard pros and cons to the movie/TV adaptations, but I’ve heard so many great things about the books. I only ever read the first book and never got around to reading the rest. My sister and her husband enjoyed the heck out of them so much that he proposed to her by putting the ring in the book. *SQUEEE*

Daughter of Smoke and Bone series by Laini Taylor

Synopsis:

Around the world, black hand prints are appearing on doorways, scorched there by winged strangers who have crept through a slit in the sky. In a dark and dusty shop, a devil’s supply of human teeth grows dangerously low. And in the tangled lanes of Prague, a young art student is about to be caught up in a brutal otherworldly war. Meet Karou. She fills her sketchbooks with monsters that may or may not be real, she’s prone to disappearing on mysterious "errands", she speaks many languages - not all of them human - and her bright blue hair actually grows out of her head that color. Who is she? That is the question that haunts her, and she’s about to find out. When beautiful, haunted Akiva fixes fiery eyes on her in an alley in Marrakesh, the result is blood and starlight, secrets unveiled, and a star-crossed love whose roots drink deep of a violent past. But will Karou live to regret learning the truth about herself?

Another book I’ve heard a lot of hype around and have yet to read. I REALLY NEED TO GET AROUND TO READING THESE because they sound like they’re right up my alley!

Kingdom on Fire series by Jessica Cluess

Synopsis:

I am Henrietta Howel. The first female sorcerer. The prophesied one. Or am I? Henrietta Howel can burst into flames. When she is brought to London to train with Her Majesty's sorcerers, she meets her fellow sorcerer trainees, young men eager to test her powers and her heart. One will challenge her. One will fight for her. One will betray her. As Henrietta discovers the secrets hiding behind the glamour of sorcerer life, she begins to doubt that she's the true prophesied one. With battle looming, how much will she risk to save the city--and the one she loves?

DARK FAE

The Hazel Wood series by Melissa Albert

Synopsis:

Seventeen-year-old Alice and her mother have spent most of Alice’s life on the road, always a step ahead of the uncanny bad luck biting at their heels. But when Alice’s grandmother, the reclusive author of a cult-classic book of pitch-dark fairy tales, dies alone on her estate, the Hazel Wood, Alice learns how bad her luck can really get: her mother is stolen away―by a figure who claims to come from the Hinterland, the cruel supernatural world where her grandmother's stories are set. Alice's only lead is the message her mother left behind: “Stay away from the Hazel Wood.” Alice has long steered clear of her grandmother’s cultish fans. But now she has no choice but to ally with classmate Ellery Finch, a Hinterland superfan who may have his own reasons for wanting to help her. To retrieve her mother, Alice must venture first to the Hazel Wood, then into the world where her grandmother's tales began―and where she might find out how her own story went so wrong.

I read an e-galley of this before it had published and all I could think was this was creepy and different from the typical fae story. It wasn’t just about a manipulative fae race, the woods moved and shifted and left you disoriented which explains why most don’t come back at all…

Song of the Dryad by Natalia Leigh

Synopsis:

Seventeen-year-old Charlotte Barclay is still haunted by an encounter she had eight years ago – a run-in with a fairy beast that had eyes like witchlight and a taste for flesh. Charlotte has avoided the Greenwood ever since, pretending fairies don’t exist and choosing instead to focus her energies on graduating from high school and perfecting her audition piece for the Bellini Institute. However, everything changes when her mom goes missing, kidnapped by the fairies that haunt the forest behind Charlotte’s home. When Charlotte’s search for her mom leads her into the fairy realm, she discovers that she hails from a line of Shrine Keepers – humans tasked with maintaining ancient fairy shrines. Charlotte’s family has failed their duties to the fae, and now she has no choice but to strike a deal with the dryad, an ancient and powerful tree nymph responsible for her mom’s disappearance. But the dryad only gives her a month to complete her task: retrieve five stolen fairy stones and return them to the ancient fairy shrine. If she doesn’t return the stones in time, the dryad has threatened to imprison another of Charlotte’s loved ones. Charlotte dives into a world as magical as it is deadly, coming face-to-face with fairy creatures that never get mentioned in the story books – including the creature that haunts her dreams. She must embrace her task and conquer her fears, or else she’ll never see her mom again.

This newer fae novel has a rating of 4+ on Goodreads and is a great edition to your urban fantasy collection if you’re trying to read more Indie books.

House of Furies by Madeleine Roux

Synopsis:

After escaping a harsh school where punishment was the lesson of the day, seventeen-year-old Louisa Ditton is thrilled to find employment as a maid at a boarding house. But soon after her arrival at Coldthistle House, Louisa begins to realize that the house’s mysterious owner, Mr. Morningside, is providing much more than lodging for his guests. Far from a place of rest, the house is a place of judgment, and Mr. Morningside and his unusual staff are meant to execute their own justice on those who are past being saved. Louisa begins to fear for a young man named Lee who is not like the other guests. He is charismatic and kind, and Louisa knows that it may be up to her to save him from an untimely judgment. But in this house of distortions and lies, how can Louisa be sure whom to trust?

For some odd reason I didn’t see a lot of hype around these series and then all of a sudden I started to hear about it a little more online. When I first came across it on Goodreads what intrigued me most was the idea of this Mr. Morningside taking it upon himself to deliver justice to evil and sinful guests. And I had been on the fence a little while whether to read it or not until I finally learned from someone in the reviews that had mentioned fae being in it. Pretty much anything fae you can count me in to reading it. I can never get enough! Thanks to Wunderkind PR who provided the trilogy to me to read and talk about it with you all I am grateful to have added it to my personal fae collection! It definitely had a different twist to the usual fae stories I’ve read in the past, being as it is a historical fiction and a mystery with a touch of horror. I recommend this to anyone else who has a similar taste for fae reads and is in the mood for a series that brings something new to the genre!

Never-Contented Things by Sarah Porter

Synopsis:

Seductive. Cruel. Bored. Be wary of… Prince and his fairy courtiers are staggeringly beautiful, unrelentingly cruel, and exhausted by the tedium of the centuries ― until they meet foster-siblings Josh and Ksenia. Drawn in by their vivid emotions, undying love for each other, and passion for life, Prince will stop at nothing to possess them. First seduced and then entrapped by the fairies, Josh and Ksenia learn that the fairies' otherworldly gifts come at a terrible price ― and they must risk everything in order to reclaim their freedom.

Another great sounding edition to add to your faerie TBR list! *makes another reminder that I need to read this one still* Based on the cover I can assume this is another horror fae mix.

The Falconer series by Elizabeth May

Synopsis:

One girl's nightmare is this girl's faery tale She's a stunner. Edinburgh, 1844. Eighteen-year-old Lady Aileana Kameron, the only daughter of the Marquess of Douglas, has everything a girl could dream of: brains, charm, wealth, a title—and drop-dead beauty. She's a liar. But Aileana only looks the part of an aristocratic young lady. she's leading a double life: She has a rare ability to sense the sìthíchean—the faery race obsessed with slaughtering humans—and, with the aid of a mysterious mentor, has spent the year since her mother died learning how to kill them. She's a murderer. Now Aileana is dedicated to slaying the fae before they take innocent lives. With her knack for inventing ingenious tools and weapons—from flying machines to detonators to lightning pistols—ruthless Aileana has one goal: Destroy the faery who destroyed her mother. She's a Falconer. The last in a line of female warriors born with a gift for hunting and killing the fae, Aileana is the sole hope of preventing a powerful faery population from massacring all of humanity. Suddenly, her quest is a lot more complicated. She still longs to avenge her mother's murder—but she'll have to save the world first. The first volume of a trilogy from an exciting new voice in young adult fantasy, this electrifying thriller combines romance and action, steampunk technology and Scottish lore in a deliciously addictive read.

This was the first fae book I ever picked up that was mixed in with historical fiction and tbh it has made me spoiled! Now I feel the lack of historical fae genre and Elizabeth May is to blame. Not only is this a historical fiction, but it has some steampunk flair to add to the fae mix.

Modern Faerie Tales series by Holly Black

Synopsis:

Welcome to the realm of very scary faeries! Sixteen-year-old Kaye is a modern nomad. Fierce and independent, she travels from city to city with her mother's rock band until an ominous attack forces Kaye back to her childhood home. There, amid the industrial, blue-collar New Jersey backdrop, Kaye soon finds herself an unwilling pawn in an ancient power struggle between two rival faerie kingdoms - a struggle that could very well mean her death.

If I remember correctly this was one of the first fae stories I ever picked up and I fell in love with them instantly! Holly Black is known as the “Faerie Queen” and for good reason. She’s able to weave beautifully poetic words and surreal worlds it’s as if you’re living and breathing them. I hope you pick these up if you’ve never read them and if you have, maybe it’s time for a reread!

I hope you enjoyed this post as much as I did putting it together! Are there any books you think you’ll pick up soon? Let me know in the comments of any good ones I missed! :)

Until next time!

xoxo Whimsies of a Nerd Girl

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10 Horror Romance Books

[caitlynlynch]

As a writer myself, and an insatiable reader since the age of four, there are some authors whose prose and storytelling abilities just always makes me feel so hideously inadequate. If I live to be 200, I’ll never be able to draw the descriptive narrative pictures Loreth Anne White does so apparently effortlessly, never be able to take you into the icy wastes of rural western Canada and make you feel the bitter wind knifing through your clothes as you ride along in her characters’ heads.

The Dark Bones follows Rebecca North, a high-powered Ottawa RCMP officer who returns to the small community where she grew up after her father’s sudden death. From the moment of her arrival, Rebecca is suspicious not all is as it seems; her father might have been a depressed alcoholic, but he was in no way suicidal. That’s before she even goes to the scene and her truck is sabotaged, leaving her to freeze to death with no shelter and no way to call for help. Fortunately, an old friend comes by to check on her and saves her life… an old friend who is an old flame.

Twenty years ago, Ash made one stupid mistake that blew up his entire life and destroyed irrevocably the happy future he’d been dreaming of with Rebecca since he was twelve years old. He thought it was all over and done with, though, but somehow the past seems to be coming back around to haunt them all over again.

The tension ratchets steadily higher as Rebecca works her way closer to the truth, of what happened to her father and what happened twenty years ago, two events inextricably linked in time and space, which made Rebecca into the person she is and causes a seismic shift in the way she thinks about herself and her life going forward.

If you haven’t read any of Loreth Anne White’s books yet, this is as good a place to get stuck in as any other. Even though it’s the second in a series, it can absolutely be read alone, and it’s a chilling, thrilling, atmospherically charged read which you’ll struggle to put down. Five stars for another winner from this brilliant author!

The Dark Bones is available now.

Disclaimer: I received a copy of this book for review through NetGalley.

[i-am-the-inksinger]

The Sunwell Can't Make You Immortal - But It Might Prolong Your Life

The night elves have always bracketed their immortality on the Well of Eternity, and then again on the initial tree that grew at Mount Hyjal. Teldrassil was blighted at the time they sought a third blessing from the dragons, and so their immortality ended with the battle with Archimonde at Hyjal and from then on they've all begun to age and show the wears of a long life at a more human rate.

THIS BEING THE CASE:

It is uncertain exactly how long Dath'remar Sunstrider lived; that is known is that his earliest confirmed successor is Anasterian Sunstrider, who is specifically noted as his great-grandson, and that Anasterian ruled Quel'Thalas for roughly 2,500 years. Quel'Thalas itself - and the Sunwell, in those creation Dath'remar played a direct role - was founded roughly 7,300 years prior to the start of World of Warcraft.

Anasterian is known to have been elderly - not ancient or unusually long-lived, just elderly - at five thousand years, and although visibly ailing, was not so weak or feeble by that time that he could not enter combat against a much younger, mounted opponent while on foot - and maintain even ground with him for a decent period of time.

If Anasterian's reign and lifespan are more or less typical for his family, that would have to mean that Anasterian's father and grandfather each ruled for between 2,000 and 3,000 years - which would mean Dath'remar must have died early after the kingdom was founded, coincidentally. That's a post for another day.

In any event, these numbers indicate one of two things:

1. The high and blood elves are now that the night elves will ultimately become: mortals with a naturally millenia-long lifespan.

2. The high and blood elves are mortal, but their lifespans are still significantly elongated due to the existence of the Sunwell, which is a weaker source created from a sample of the original Well of Eternity.

IMHO, it's the second one.

As proof:

1. The land prior to the Scourge invasion was described as being in a state of eternal springtime. In the time after the Sunwell was restored, it has been described as being in a sort of eternal autumn. This could indicate that the original Sunwell was created during the spring, freezing the whole of the lands under its direct influence in that climate, and that after its destruction the land was allowed to have seasonal shifts again until, in the autumn, it was restored, leaving it in a perpetually fertile state of planting and possibility (and breeding...)

2. The magic withdrawals suffered during the Sunwell's nearly twenty-year absence are far-reaching, affecting even those elves who left the kingdom. By the same token, elves not in the kingdom during the Sunwell's rebirth still felt its return within days, and before receiving word that it had been restored. This indicates that while the Sunwell had/has a direct range of effect - one that undoubtedly helped to set the boundaries of the kingdom itself - something about it is irrevocably tied to those who benefit from it and/or have descended from its original creators.

3. The magic withdrawals, while symptomatically quite accurate to drug withdrawals, have the ultimate effect of withering those who succumb to them: Their skin grays and dries and shrinks around them, their faces become sunken in, their hair grows brittle and falls out, their finger- and toenails grow out into looking, often brittle claws, etcetera. These strike me less as symptoms of withdrawal and more as symptoms of extremely accelerated aging; the fact that this can be staved off or combated through a number of ways including meditation, determination, and feeding off of alternate sources of magic could therefore be analogous with healthy (if not always... humane) lifestyles helping humans to remain physically youthful well into their senior years.

4. Canon sources indicate that close proximity to and direct interaction with both the original and reignited Sunwell has a direct effect on both the mind and body. Dar'khan noted a feeling of vitality when he fed from the Well; Kael'thas was noted by Lor'themar to seem haggard and gaunt while he destroyed the remnants of the original Sunwell; Liadrin and other elves have noted that standing within the light of the new Sunwell makes them feel young or rejuvenated. All of these anecdotes could point to a situation wherein the Sunwell does in fact have a direct influence over the elves' lifespan.

5. No other mortal race is this long-lived. The draenei are the only potential exception, and they're not native to Azeroth; this makes the draenei an outlier that should not be counted in this discussion. The nightborne elves appear to have been living in a sort of conscious stasis until the Legion invasion. The undead don't count for obvious reasons, and the Void elves are too new to make any judgements for certain.

Taking into account the night elves' steady aging since the battle at Hyjal (most notable in "Wolfheart," where Malfurion and Tyrande both note and comment on how stiff they're becoming/how their eyesight seems to be waning,) theoretically the high and blood elves should have already begun to dwindle to a lifespan of perhaps a couple hundred years. As this is not the case, clearly something is helping them retain such a long natural lifespan.

If the Sunwell does in fact affect the aging and lifespans of the high and blood elves, it might have some distant effect on night elves, too - Dath'remar and his followers were initially night elven, and elves known to be younger than Tyrande and Malfurion have not complained of the signs of aging to the extent that they have.

Not nearly as powerful an effect as that had on high and blood elves, but an effect.

Now, would the Sunwell’s destruction affect the ren’dorei?

Very likely, though I haven't been able to interact with them or watch them enough to know how exactly. I'm also not sure how its existence affects them; my best measure against that so far is Dar'khan, who was recently revealed in game to have been studying the Void and/or Void magic prior to the Scourge invasion. When he drew from the Sunwell, he didn't report any negative effects - that only occurred after the Well was tainted.

He was also able to draw from the traces of the Sunwell present in Anveena Teague without any noticeable detriment to his wellbeing despite being a lich at the time - one that had already died and been resurrected info undeath twice at that point. He only perished when those energies were turned against him offensively.

But Dar'khan was never a full-on void elf, and the necromancy that enabled and maintained his existence as a lich is different from Void magic, so he's not the best measure.

We know also that Lor'themar cast the void elves out at least in part because he fears they could harm the Sunwell. Hard to say how much of that is knowledgeable concern and how much is him being aware of Dar'khan's studies and holding a grudge, though.

What about non-elves, though? We know no one else was so badly affected by the loss of the original Sunwell, but what would happen to a non-high/blood elf who was allowed to linger within the kingdom of Quel'thalas for, say, a few years? A few decades? A century or so? Would they simply stop aging? Would they feel stretched out by such a development, or would it feel natural even when they acknowledged it was anything but?

Or would they simply age more gracefully, and experience fewer/less severe illnesses, aches, and other painful hallmarks of old age - passing in a relatively normal span of years, but passing peacefully and in fear comfort than they might beyond the borders of Quel'Thalas?

[brightandunique]

Haikyuu!! Fiction Recommendation Master Post

I have been meaning to make this post since a while now. Let’s share some love shall we? I recommend these fictions based on my personal judgment. If you see your work up here that’s cause I loved it to the moon and back! I welcome suggestions too! ^-^ 

♥ - ultimate fav

★ - they do the do

(★) - implied sexual activities 

ロ - unfinished 

■ - finished

✿ - multi chapters

KageHina (Kageyama x Hinata) 

132 by crapso   ★ ロ ✿

Summary:  Kageyama balanced his cheek on his fist, leaning an elbow on the counter and smiling, “Do your parents know where you are, sweetie?” “I— what?! Why would they— I’m twenty-three!” Kageyama gasped sarcastically, “Are you! Well, I’ll be! I’m still gonna need to see some ID, though.” “Amazing.” The boy laughed, “You really know how to sass someone who’s holding a gun to your face, huh?“

Anonymous asked a question by kageyama_drama  ♥  ロ  ✿ (★)

Summary: There he was.The redhead clicked the notification and waited impatiently for the page to load.“hello again, sunshine! working on any new pieces lately? i’d love to see your progress if you want to share! hope today was great for you!” Hinata grinned from ear to ear as he typed his reply, “i started a new piece just for you, blueberry! here’s what i’ve got so far! :)”

I’ve Got You Covered by kageyama_drama  ★ ■

 Summary: A smutty, drunken one-shot for ‘Anonymous asked a question’ 

Binding Problem by Majesticartax  ♥ ロ ✿  (★)

Summary:  Hinata pines.

The Alpha King by madamemalfoy21  ■  (★)

Summary:  Oh. He’d never seen anyone give him that expression before. Not with so much raw sincerity. And for a moment, Kageyama had to look away, swallowing awkwardly, thinking that maybe he had just looked into the sun itself. 

Note: Part of a series. The continuation: Facing the Sun. 

First by someonestolemyshoes  ♥ ★ ■

Summary: It’s too dark to go over the mountain, he’d said. You might get hurt, he’d said. What will we do if you can’t play in the practice match on Monday, he’d said. Kageyama had said a lot of things and in the end, he’d coaxed Hinata into staying the night because yeah, everything was true, and yeah, maybe he would be better off spending the night at Kageyama’s, but then they��re changing for bed and Hinata is in nothing but boxers and a shirt and Kageyama is cupping his jaw in both hands and kissing like he might fall of the face of the earth if he doesn’t and Hinata thinks that maybe, Kageyama had some ulterior motives.

Note: Part 3 of Theirs series. First part: Blush 

Hinata Shouyou’s Fucking Face by Esselle  ■ ✿   

Summary: 'Kageyama doesn’t know why Hinata’s face rubs him the wrong way—it just does. So one day, in an attempt to pinpoint exactly what it is that makes Hinata’s Shouyou’s fucking face so fucking annoying, he begins to catalogue all the things that really tick him off.This proves to be startlingly revelatory.’–A thought-provoking study and critical analysis of Hinata Shouyou’s stupid face, by Kageyama Tobio.

In Transit by Mysecretfanmoments  ♥ ■

Summary:  Hinata finds that he likes standing close to Kageyama on buses and trains. It doesn’t mean anything–probably. Maybe.

On Stranger Tides by theroyalsavage  ♥ ■ ✿

Summary: When Hinata Shouyou is 13 years old, his village is raided by pirates. Most everything Hinata knows is destroyed in the attack, lost to the flames, but he and his sister are pulled from the wreckage by a boy with eyes the color of a storm. Their lives are saved, but irrevocably altered - their home is lost forever, and there is something strange about the pirates, something blurry and shadowed and wrong. A darkness is rising out of the depths of the ocean. The sea itself is stirring, and nothing can stop it when it wakes.

Saffron and Cayenne Pepper by dontsaycrazy  ■ ✿

Summary: Cooking is hard. Even if you have your very attractive, very grumpy neighbor there to help you. In which Hinata’s lack of cooking skills are a danger to him and others. Luckily (or not), Kageyama is willing to teach him, for the sake of avoiding any burned down apartments.

Somewhere to Belong by Esselle  ★ ■ ✿

Summary:  Once a year, all the villages that follow the way of the sun offer up one of their own to be taken to the sun god’s divine temple. Kageyama Tobio, an orphan and loner, never wanted to be chosen—and until the sun god appeared, no one ever wanted to choose him, either. All Tobio wants is to find a place he fits in. What he actually gets is another story entirely.

The Heart of the Jungle by Esselle  ♥ ★ ■ ✿

Summary: The rainforest expedition is to last a full year—365 days of living under the lush canopy of trees. Danger looms. Adventure awaits. The jungle calls. Hinata Shouyou has never wanted anything more. Or so he thinks, until he meets a curious stranger there, who shows him what it means to be truly needed. AKA Tarzan au

Note: The art is gorgeous for this fic! Part of a series. The continuation: Wild 

Vren by Icandigelvis  ♥ (★) ロ ✿

Summary:  It was the boots that caught his attention. They looked new and expensive sticking up from the tall grass, visible from the small trail Shoyo was walking on. He cautiously trudged closer, almost against his will. What Shoyo didn’t notice, however, was the creature watching him; blue eyes following the oblivious human like a prey. AKA creature!Kageyama au

Hunger by Esselle  ♥ ★ ■ ✿

Summary: This was how Shouyou, prince of the kingdom on the hill, ended up sitting on the wooden floor in front of the fire, roasting all the different kinds of meats in the crackling flames to eat. When he was done, he flopped over backwards, sprawling over the floor. Kageyama was watching him again. Shouyou rolled lazily onto his stomach and rested his head on his arm, smiling at him. “That was good,” he said. The food had been delicious. Watching Kageyama eat had been more so; the way his throat worked to swallow as he drank down the creamy, white milk, his white teeth as they sank into the succulent, tender meat, the little groans and sighs of pleasure he made as he tasted it. It had all made Shouyou so very, very hungry for more.

Note:  Part of a series. The continuation: Homecoming

The machine beneath your chest by Icandigelvis  ★ ロ ✿

Summary:  Life as a scrap hunter isn't very eventful. Shoyo travels across the massive wasteland of an electronics dump in Area 5C every day, searching for machines, gadgets and batteries to sell. Stood in his yellow overall, one boot on a broken toaster, his voltage-tracker suddenly goes frantic in his hand. It's detected something. Something big.

Heaven Sent by Esselle  ♥ ★ ✿ ■

Summary: When lowly acolyte Hinata is tasked with bringing his temple's monthly tax payment to the Centurion's Villa, he hardly expects to have an encounter with Kageyama, the lavishly wealthy landowner and decorated army general himself. But Kageyama turns out to be far more interested in Hinata than the money, believing him to be a gift sent from the gods themselves. Before Hinata realizes what's happening, he finds himself agreeing to stay at the villa, where Kageyama can spoil him to his heart's content.To Hinata's surprise, he soon finds himself growing attached to the brutally blunt yet strangely sweet Kageyama; but he is worried he won't be able to hold the attention of a man who has everything, even as Kageyama starts to become everything to him.

Note: There are NSFW art included in the story

KuroTsuki (Kuroo x Tsukishima)

1800-GET-REKT by doggoneit   ♥ ■

Summary: “I see you like it Between the Sheets.”

“I beg your pardon?”

“Your drink. It’s good stuff but I’m more of a Blowjob kinda guy.”

Cat Burglar by Sarolonde  ■

Summary: Kei types up an unapologetic flyer titled: Are You Missing Your Underwear? It explains his cat’s thievery and gives his address. He prints a few out and half-heartedly puts them up on his street and at the local store on his way to university. Basically, Kei’s cat is trying to hook him up with the neighborhood hottie.

I can barely open my eyes (but I still see the sun) by kamyams  ■

Summary:  Kuroo and Tsukki lie in bed together being cute.

How Not to Get a Boyfriend, starring Tsukishima Kei by munzie (enjolrasenthusiast)   ロ ✿

Summary:  Kuroo needs to come clean, for once in his life, and Tsukishima should probably just start trying to be a better person. It’s hard, though, when things are just so easy like this.

In time, I’m sure by peralta  ♥ ■  

Summary:  Tsukishima has never held a boy’s hand before. Kuroo is desperate to learn every line in his palm. This relationship, they begin to realize, might not end in pain after all.

Nighttime Cold Medicine by MelissaWritesStuff  ■

Summary:  Getting up in the middle of the night to pee really shouldn’t have been such a huge commitment.

This Burning Passion by cloudy_skies  ♥ ★ ■

Summary:  Maybe it was destiny that Kuroo Tetsurou was meant to fall in love with Tsukishima Kei despite the fact that he was a ghoul, humanity’s natural enemy and Kei was one-hundred percent human.

IwaOi (Iwaizumi x Oikawa)

a little bit more by orphan_account  ♥ ★ ■  

Summary: "Iwaizumi-san is definitely a top.” “I’d say Oikawa. He seems to like being in charge.” Matsukawa laughed at this, surveying the club members. “It’s a shame that we’ll never be able to find out who’s right.” Unfortunately, they do find out.

An Omega’s Heat by madamemalfoy21  ★ ■

Summary:  He always got strangely sentimental, the closer he got to his heat. Which is precisely why today, he should not have shown up to the practice match. He knew better. Had always done better.

Anger Management by Leryline  ♥ ★ ■

Summary: “You’re so cruel to me,” Oikawa whined down the line, and Iwaizumi snorted at that. “All I try to do is be nice, and here you are, saying all I want to do is talk shit on Ushiwaka! Which, you know, I do, but that’s beside the point. Do you like Ushiwaka, Iwa-chan?” “Of course I don’t, what are you -,” “Because I could just get him to fuck me instead.” (Oikawa had slipped into a bad habit of teasing him like this, and he’d had enough of it. It was time for Iwaizumi to shut Oikawa up, and to shut him up good.)

Anticipated by tastewithouttalent   ★ ■

Summary:  “The skirt seems like a fantastic idea in Oikawa’s head.” Oikawa tries a new method of seduction on Iwaizumi, and it proves effective, though not as he expected it would be.

Conquering the Great King by SuggestiveScribe  ♥ ★ ■ ✿

Summary: Iwaizumi blinked his gaze over to Oikawa, “Last time was supposed to be a one time thing,” he said, voice low, lacking some conviction.Oikawa’s lips twitched into a smirk and he brought them hovering just over Iwaizumi’s, “One time thing, Two time thing, what’s it matter as long as it’s not a Relationship thing?”

Heart(less) and Soul(full) by subverx  ★ ■

Summary:  In which Oikawa is a demon whose job is contracting humans for their souls, and his next victim is Iwaizumi. Somehow, what is supposed to be a quick case turns into a two year long affair – and then some.

Hold You Down by IncessantOblivion  ♥ ★ ロ ✿

Summary: In which Oikawa Tooru is a prince and Iwaizumi Hajime is his knight. “I want…I want…” Oikawa opened his eyes and for once Iwaizumi wished he couldn’t read them so well. ‘You. I want you,’ they said. Iwaizumi couldn’t let Oikawa say it for real, he couldn’t. It would destroy him. So he crashed his lips against Oikawa’s, silencing him, consoling him. “I know,” he whispered once they finally parted. He didn’t need to say that it didn’t matter what Oikawa wanted – what either of them wanted. They both knew already.

Lace Lingerie by BlackKite7  ★ ■

Summary: ‘A gift for you.’ Matsukawa’s voice echoed in his mind as he recalled the way his high school friend had slyly passed him a folded shopping bag under the table while they were in the middle of lunch. Matsukawa had insisted he look at it only when he got home, and feeling foolishly happy about the spur of the moment gift, he agreed. He wished, in hindsight, that he had looked instead. And that he had throttled Matsukawa for even thinking it was an appropriate gift.

Mine by kiyala  ♥ ★ ■

Summary:  Oikawa might be a jealous person, but even that is nothing compared to the intrinsic possessiveness that all dragons have.

of bees and flowers and pipes and plumbers by clockworkmoon  ♥ ★ ■

Summary:  for the "the new handyman’s hot so i’m gonna keep breaking stuff” au. Iwaizumi is the Handsome Handyman, and Oikawa is… Oikawa?

Patterns by e1even  ★ ■ ✿

Summary:  There were things they always came back to. Some of those things were each other. Or, Oikawa gets hit by an early heat, Iwaizumi carries him home. Something changes for the both of them.

Pour some sugar on me by blasphemia  ★ ■ ✿

Summary:  Despite common belief, making sure you don’t have to work a single day in your life is hard work. Luckily, Oikawa has mastered the skill. But when his new target is the awfully… practical businessman Iwaizumi Hajime, Oikawa’s skills are put to the test, since Iwaizumi refuses to spend money on him. Yet, the two can’t ignore their mutual attraction, but with such different expectations for the relationship, there’s bound to be trouble.

So Much Better Than An Axe Murderer by levkawa & starlitcities  ★ ■

Summary: This shower will be quick, Oikawa decides, reaching up for his luffa. He then goes to reach for his body wash. His eyes widen when he narrows in on the two objects in his hands. The luffa is white, and the body wash brand says Old Spice, something musky and masculine. Oikawa has never owned Old Spice in his entire life, and his luffa is definitely not white, looking like it came from some cheap dollar store.~AU where Oikawa accidentally stumbles into the wrong apartment.

[dfroza]

A short Letter

written as encouragement in Love.

Today’s reading of the ancient Letter of 3rd John:

The Pastor, to my good friend Gaius: How truly I love you! We’re the best of friends, and I pray for good fortune in everything you do, and for your good health—that your everyday affairs prosper, as well as your soul! I was most happy when some friends arrived and brought the news that you persist in following the way of Truth. Nothing could make me happier than getting reports that my children continue diligently in the way of Truth!

Dear friend, when you extend hospitality to Christian brothers and sisters, even when they are strangers, you make the faith visible. They’ve made a full report back to the church here, a message about your love. It’s good work you’re doing, helping these travelers on their way, hospitality worthy of God himself! They set out under the banner of the Name, and get no help from unbelievers. So they deserve any support we can give them. In providing meals and a bed, we become their companions in spreading the Truth.

Earlier I wrote something along this line to the church, but Diotrephes, who loves being in charge, denigrates my counsel. If I come, you can be sure I’ll hold him to account for spreading vicious rumors about us.

As if that weren’t bad enough, he not only refuses hospitality to traveling Christians but tries to stop others from welcoming them. Worse yet, instead of inviting them in he throws them out.

Friend, don’t go along with evil. Model the good. The person who does good does God’s work. The person who does evil falsifies God, doesn’t know the first thing about God.

Everyone has a good word for Demetrius—the Truth itself stands up for Demetrius! We concur, and you know we don’t hand out endorsements lightly.

I have a lot more things to tell you, but I’d rather not use pen and ink. I hope to be there soon in person and have a heart-to-heart talk.

Peace to you. The friends here say hello. Greet our friends there by name.

The Letter of 3rd John (The Message)

Today’s paired chapter of the Testaments is the closing chapter of the book of Leviticus with instructions given to Moses that concern the service of the Santuary under the old covenant:

[Vows, Dedications, and Redemptions]

God spoke to Moses: He said, “Speak to the People of Israel. Tell them, If anyone wants to vow the value of a person to the service of God, set the value of a man between the ages of twenty and sixty at fifty shekels of silver, according to the Sanctuary shekel. For a woman the valuation is thirty shekels. If the person is between the ages of five and twenty, set the value at twenty shekels for a male and ten shekels for a female. If the person is between one month and five years, set the value at five shekels of silver for a boy and three shekels of silver for a girl. If the person is over sixty, set the value at fifteen shekels for a man and ten shekels for a woman. If anyone is too poor to pay the stated amount, he is to present the person to the priest, who will then set the value for him according to what the person making the vow can afford.

“If he vowed an animal that is acceptable as an offering to God, the animal is given to God and becomes the property of the Sanctuary. He must not exchange or substitute a good one for a bad one, or a bad one for a good one; if he should dishonestly substitute one animal for another, both the original and the substitute become property of the Sanctuary. If what he vowed is a ritually unclean animal, one that is not acceptable as an offering to God, the animal must be shown to the priest, who will set its value, either high or low. Whatever the priest sets will be its value. If the owner changes his mind and wants to redeem it, he must add twenty percent to its value.

“If a man dedicates his house to God, into the possession of the Sanctuary, the priest assesses its value, setting it either high or low. Whatever value the priest sets, that’s what it is. If the man wants to buy it back, he must add twenty percent to its price and then it’s his again.

“If a man dedicates to God part of his family land, its value is to be set according to the amount of seed that is needed for it at the rate of fifty shekels of silver to six bushels of barley seed. If he dedicates his field during the year of Jubilee, the set value stays. But if he dedicates it after the Jubilee, the priest will compute the value according to the years left until the next Jubilee, reducing the value proportionately. If the one dedicating it wants to buy it back, he must add twenty percent to its valuation, and then it’s his again. But if he doesn’t redeem it or sells the field to someone else, it can never be bought back. When the field is released in the Jubilee, it becomes holy to God, the possession of the Sanctuary, God’s field. It goes into the hands of the priests.

“If a man dedicates to God a field he has bought, a field which is not part of the family land, the priest will compute its proportionate value in relation to the next year of Jubilee. The man must pay its value on the spot as something that is now holy to God, belonging to the Sanctuary. In the year of Jubilee it goes back to its original owner, the man from whom he bought it. The valuations will be reckoned by the Sanctuary shekel, at twenty gerahs to the shekel.

“No one is allowed to dedicate the firstborn of an animal; the firstborn, as firstborn, already belongs to God. No matter if it’s cattle or sheep, it already belongs to God. If it’s one of the ritually unclean animals, he can buy it back at its assessed value by adding twenty percent to it. If he doesn’t redeem it, it is to be sold at its assessed value.

“But nothing that a man irrevocably devotes to God from what belongs to him, whether human or animal or family land, may be either sold or bought back. Everything devoted is holy to the highest degree; it’s God’s inalienable property.

“No human who has been devoted to destruction can be redeemed. He must be put to death.

“A tenth of the land’s produce, whether grain from the ground or fruit from the trees, is God’s. It is holy to God. If a man buys back any of the tenth he has given, he must add twenty percent to it. A tenth of the entire herd and flock, every tenth animal that passes under the shepherd’s rod, is holy to God. He is not permitted to pick out the good from the bad or make a substitution. If he dishonestly makes a substitution, both animals, the original and the substitute, become the possession of the Sanctuary and cannot be redeemed.”

These are the commandments that God gave to Moses on Mount Sinai for the People of Israel.

The Book of Leviticus, Chapter 27 (The Message)

my personal reading of the Scriptures for Saturday, may 23 of 2020 with a paired chapter from each Testament along with Today’s Psalms and Proverbs

A post to accompany Today’s reading of the Bible shared yesterday by John Parsons:

Some people imagine spirituality as a climb upward, an "ascent of the soul" that aims to reach God through the performance of good deeds or religious rituals. But God does not say "at the end of the way you will find me," but rather, "I AM the way, the very road under your feet, the Place (המקום) where you are, and the Bridge to the Father (John 14:6). “For from You are all things (כי־ממך הכל), and from your hand we give to you” (1 Chron. 29:14). The LORD is Present in every "here" and every "now," the Source of all we are. And no matter what our circumstances, we will find God if we search bekhol levavkha - with all our being, as it says: "You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart." [Hebrew for Christians]

5.22.20 • Facebook

and Today’s email sent by the ICR (The Institute for Creation Research)

May 23, 2020

The Veil over the Nations

“And he will destroy in this mountain the face of the covering cast over all people, and the vail that is spread over all nations.” (Isaiah 25:7)

Many people feel that every nation should be encouraged simply to practice its own religion. God’s Word, however, makes it plain that all nations are blinded, cut off from the truth by a deadly covering. This is true of the Jews, for “even unto this day, when Moses is read, the vail is upon their heart” (2 Corinthians 3:15). It is also true of the Gentiles, who have “the understanding darkened, being alienated from the life of God through the ignorance that is in them, because of the blindness of their heart” (Ephesians 4:18).

The veil that keeps them in such darkness is a Satanic blindfold. “The god of this world [i.e., Satan] hath blinded the minds of them which believe not” (2 Corinthians 4:4). And how did the devil ever gain such control over human minds? “Because that, when they knew God, they glorified him not as God, neither were thankful; but became vain in their imaginations, and their foolish heart was darkened….Who changed the truth of God into a lie, and worshipped and served the creature more than the Creator” (Romans 1:21, 25).

So today men and women almost everywhere—atheists, Communists, humanists, Buddhists, Confucianists, animists, Hindus, Taoists, Shintoists, occultists, “New Agers,” and even the “liberals” in the monotheistic religions (Judaism, Islam, Christianity)—really all believe and practice the same religion, rejecting God as Creator and worshipping instead some man or man-exalting evolutionary philosophy.

Someday, God will destroy this pervasive veil over the nations. In the meantime, we must reach everyone we can with the true and everlasting gospel of Christ, for that “vail is done away in Christ” (2 Corinthians 3:14). HMM