#this wasnt supposed to be sad!! this wasnt supposed to be depressing!!

[paigemathews]

Do you ever think about what Wyatt and Billie’s relationship would look like? I mean, do you ever think that maybe he sees Billie as an omen? A prophesied witch with not only extraordinary power, but projection specifically, that evil has hunted and desired for years, to the point of creating intricate plots to turn them from a young age? (While my Wyatt doesn’t realize yet, the fact that Billie and Wyatt both fell into evil’s clutch in the past? That their redemption came at their sibling’s life? That their deaths can be traced directly to them?)

Imagine Billie post-series, who has lost. honestly, everything in under a year. She went from a confident, headstrong newly-discovered witch determined to save the day to a powerful witch who lost her entire family and was manipulated and used by evil to attack good as a whole. After all of that, I don’t really think that you walk out of that without it becoming a deeply impactful and integral part of your experience.

So a Billie who is more subdued and removed from magical affairs. A Billie who knows the price and risks with magic, especially her own. A Billie who learns how to master her magic, because she’s already seen the consequences of her failures, but there is no real need for it anymore with the lack of demonic attacks. And she is asked, by the sisters who she betrayed and had to earn their trust again, to help teach a witch just like her to control his powers.

Beyond her own experiences, do you think Billie ever told the sisters about Dumain showing her what Wyatt was supposed to “become”? Or did she just chalk it up to his lies and manipulation? And even if she did tell them, do you think that the sisters would be able to tell her? When they themselves never actually knew how bad it was in the unchanged future? When they’re still unsure if they can trust her again and handing her that information includes telling them how, despite all of their power, they could still do nothing as a son/nephew died in front of them?

So she tries to impart how important it is that Wyatt uses his powers for good, not to harm. She trains him to control his power, tries to teach him to respect it as something incredibly dangerous. She conveys over and over again that projection is powerful, but dangerous and if you’re not careful, it can create a lot of harm. She isn’t his only teacher, but she, with her own history and the same power and the knowledge that he will outclass them all and that vision that is bad enough without considering what else he is able to do, is the one who is able to understand best. Piper and Phoebe and Paige are extremely powerful, obviously, but their power is rooted in their bond and that itself helps keep them in check because there is a balance. Billie, her sister (the key) dead and her as the real Ultimate Power, is the closest to knowing what that’s like.

Except Wyatt is Wyatt, his mother and father’s son in everyway but especially his heart. He’s the child who tried to prevent conflict before he was even born. He’s the child who took everyone’s burdens on himself as his to solve before he could even speak. He needed to protect his loved ones, no matter how powerful they individually were. When he failed, he blamed himself. When people struggled, and he couldn’t help them, he blamed himself. Not only does he blame himself for not being able to save or help people, he pins his entire worth as a person on his ability to help. This is the child who thought that he deserved to die because of his father’s grief and inner turmoil, something he wasn’t even to blame for. And he sees so much of himself in Billie, sees her story as a warning if he is to slip to the wrong side, if he is to be blinded to evil and used as a weapon. He takes every message that Billie tries to teach and internalizes it just a little bit too much, takes it just a bit too personally.

And imagine what happens. Billie, who can relate to Wyatt’s potential future just a bit too much, trying to teach him caution and instead teaches him fear. Wyatt, who sees a bit too many similarities in Billie’s past, transforms her lessons of control and innocents into repression and his value. Because they see those similarities, but they don’t quite see the differences and those differences change everything.

[ywpd-translations]

Ride 727: The training camp's first battle!!

Pag 1

1: Oh, Touji-kun

Thank you so much for this year, too

2: Everyone else has already started running

Yeah, I was a little late with preparations

You have some lively first years

Thanks

3: It's the third time you stay here, so you can just park wherever

Thank you so much

4: It started already?

The “training camp”

5: It has already started

Pag 2

1: The first battle that will decide the Inter High's positions

3: The first “buddies battle”!!

Pag 3

1: E.... everyone has to pair up... choose their “buddy” and run, that's the rule of this training camp...

Huh.... Murakami.... your....

2: “Buddy”....

7: Is the second year Kaburagi-san!?

Pag 4

1: But... wait, our partner... shouldn't it be.... a fellow first year... huh!?

2: Can he do this!?

4: After all, before the start, Naruko-san only said.... “choose a partner among these people”!!

5: But the idea of choosing a second year senpai....

He played that card?

6: I didn't have good results in the first years' race

7: During the first years' race, at first, when Kinaka said we should accelerate

Pag 5

1: A small fry just fell, should we accelerate a little, Murakami-kun?

He's a nice guy. I think this pace is fine

I stopped Kinaka from accelerating and shaking off Rokudai

2: Now I regret being “nice”!!

5: After that Rokudai followed us on the mountain and the was at the top on the climb!! And even though he retired after that

6: He joined as a member in the qualifiers and his results were recognized!!

Seeing all that, I

Pag 6

1: I swore I would never show mercy to anyone!!

2: He opened them!!

Murakami's eyes!!

3: Let's go , Kaburagi-san

Let's quickly get rid of those who get in our way!!

But wait, why did Kaburagi-san pair up with Murakami

4: Uh... Murakami, you said “those who get in our way”....

No but Kaburagi-san is so fast!!

Pag 7

1: He got ahead of the line in a second!! And Murakami followed him!!

3: Please accelerate!!

4: Wait, Murakami! Oi, stop! That guy participated in the Inter High last year when he was a first year....

And he competed for the sprint line on the first and third day, too....

No, wait-

If you accelerate now, we....

Pag 8

1: Houru-

Pag 9

1: aaaaaaaagh

2: This is bad, waaaa

Follow them!! We have to follow them

Don't get left behind!!

Pag 10

1: Don't get lef.... ugh- waaaaa

So fast!! Dammit!!

3: Amazing!! So this is Kaburagi-san's acceleration!!

The legs that during the Inter High fought on par against Hakogaku!!

4: If I didn't know the timing and didn't bring myself as close to him as possible to cut the wind resistance, I would have been left behind too!!

5: But other than me, the other first years

Pag 11

2: Yes, we got rid of them!!

3: Haha.... hahaha!! I'll go to the Inter High!! That's why I joined Sohoku!!

4: Next, the second years... and then the third years!!

Pag 12

1: Straight road!!

2: Kinaka and Rokudai!!

They sticked close to us on the opposite side!!

Pag 13

1: You're keeping up, Rokudai!!

Somehow.... yeah, teh!!

2: You two again, dammit!!

They're entering the climb, teh!!

Pag 14

4: What a relief... they're not attacking on the climb for now....!!

Yeah

It's tough to keep up with that pace

5: But they'll attack at some point, so don't relax your attention, Rokudai

Yeah, teh

6: I'll keep an eye on Murakami's movement, if he starts moving I'll give you a signal!!

I'll leave it to you, teh!!

8: But Murakami's facial expression is difficult to read!!

Pag 15

1: First lap, clear!!

2:  1)Kaburagi; 2)  Murakami; 3) Kinaka; 4) Rokudai

3: Kaburagi, Murakami, me, and Rokudai!!

We cleared it almost at the same time!!

4: Suddenly.... the first lap was so hard? Kinaka-kun

5: Ah... well!! It's probably gonna get harder from here on

Look, behind us, there are no

6: first years following!!

Pag 17

1: Dammit!!

Wa-

2: Kinaka-kun is a road racer, so of course he turns around to check behind at key points!!

And since Rokudai clings to him, he looked behind too!!

3: That was our sign to accelerate, Kinaka!!

I told you I would show no mercy!!

4: Let's keep going like this, Kaburagi-san!!

Pag 18

1: We left them behind!!

Murakamii!!

2: Hahaha.... like this, I'll be the top among the first years....!!

3: Hahaha the top!!

4: Danchiku....

6: This is bad!!

Pag 19

1: It's- it's okay, Kaburagi-san! Danchiku-san said he'd just be a little late and come with Kanzaki-san's car, didn't he?

2: Yeah.... you think he will really come, Murakami?

3: He will definitely come!!

Yes!! And he'll be as healthy as ever!!

4: I believe so!!

5: Yeah!! You're right

You're a nice guy, Murakami

6: Ah but we promised I'll be your temporary buddy until Danchiku-san comes

Honestly, I'll be sad when he comes!! I really want to run all 1000km with Kaburagi-san!!

Pag 20

1: Just until Danchiku-san comes, is that okay, please

Hm... well anyone will do, if it's not Danchiku..

2: Until then, thank you!!

What do we do next?

Let's keep going atthis pace, please!!

5: Ah?

6: Danchiku-san?

7: No.... he won't come, right?

Even I can see that his condition is bad

Pag 21

1: He has a serious innjury or some other problem, right!?

2: He won't come, that guy!!

3: You and me will keep running like this until the end, Kaburagi-san!!

Pag 22

1: Can you see it, Danchiku?

2: Those guys are struggling to understand the course

3: … yes!!

[afternines]

I HAVE TO LAUGH I HAVE TO LAAUGGGGFHFH

[badgyalshii]

ITS NEVER OVER | II

Paul Atreides x Reader (always safe for POCS+ Plus size)

2.6k word count

warnings! idk really you tell me lmao. just sad really, flashbacks, etc. proofread, uhhh most of it.

A/N: im so happy i got the results that I did in the first part, im thinking of starting a taglist for this series maybe so just send me an ask saying you wanna be in there and i gotchuuuu! thank you to everyone who reads my stories, i was supposed to post this yesterday but i was pretty busy. i am overall happy with how this series is going! i was gonna leave it simple and end it here, but honestly i feel like i could keep going with this, love you guysss!😘

Access Part I here. I . II . III . IV .

¨its just protocol¨ ¨it wasnt necessary, i watched. Ive watched you, standing behind you. Who are you, paul?¨

¨y/n? Helloooo, y/n¨ chani waved her hand in your face as the memory slowly faded and you came back to your vision and seeing chani infront of you. You both laid on the small bed, hot when the sun was up or down. Chani wanted more, she swore she did. When she wasnt talking to you she was searching for something to make this ¨house¨ feel comforting, like a home. You closed your eyes as the flashback completely faded in your head. You both were laying down, she was across from you with a worried look on her face as you blinked. ¨yes chani?¨ ¨are you prepared?¨ she asked. You struggled to remember what she was talking about, and her concerned look never left her face. ¨To leave¨ chani whispers gently. She knew you still had feelings for paul, and she couldnt fight to win you over in your constant mental battle. You never felt like this before. Wanting only one person- no, needing them. Under your eyes grew heavier and heavier. Days grew longer and you hardly slept and when you did it was of paul, had you have no life of your own? Have you grown depressed? You sighed, stood and you dressed, taking a deep breath in as you pulled up your pants and grabbed your mask.

Its been 6 years, 6 years on arrakis with chani, and you never forgot. You never forgot the life that you used to have, the life you missed so deprately, and you never came to terms with your new life, even if it was with chani. You missed stilgar, you missed everyone, grouped together, eating, small laughs between you and your friends, paul picking at your plate whenever you didnt really feel like finishing your food. You loved chani, you love her, youve became closer and closer like sisters. She taught you her own individual skills that shes learned along the way, but you guys barely talked. Her company was comforting, but all you really thought about was paul, and his new marriage, and his new wife. Was it just…..protocol? You could tell when you spoke to chani that she was extremely uninterested in the topic of paul, but thats all you ever thought about.

You found another place in arrakis, it took about 6 sandworms to get to your destination and you lived in once again, another large rock. You and chani hunted for water and when you found it you both started to make another ¨tent¨ in the rock to live at for a while. You both sat down and ate.

¨whats on your mind?¨ chani asked worryingly, she worried, she worried so often. She only wanted whats best for you and it hurt to see you this way but she covered it with her toughness. ¨paul. Maybe he was right-¨ ¨y/n, it has been six years since then. Please-¨

¨maybe… i should go¨ you thickly swallowed, looking at your hands before you looked back up at her. Her jaw was clenched before she released it, she has an irritated look on her face before she released her eyebrows. ¨im coming with you”

As you got dressed to go back to him, you thought of him. Maybe it was because of the way he laughed so softly against your lips that made you miss him. Maybe its because of how his warm and rough fingers softly grazed your face and on your body sending butterflies in your stomach and tiny shocks wherever his loving touch landed, eager to touch you, the way his green but now electric blue eyes looked at you with pure admiration. He was so perfect. Everything you wouldbe thought you wanted on paper was right infront of you, waiting on you. You couldnt lie, you were excited to see him and thankful chani allowed you to go back. You wondered about him, wondered how he looked now, was he more mature? Did his voice get deeper? was it just protocol? Did you make a mistake? Is he safe? Is he still there? Does he still love you?

Anxiety crept through your throat before you swallowed it back down. Chani was already ready to go as soon as she shes going with you. You looked at her, she was sitting outside of the giant rock, waiting for you and if she wasnt already so smart, she turned feeling eyes on her back almost as if she could sense you, one eyebrow raised as she then crossed her arms and leaned on her left foot. You sighed before picking up your things, walking up to chani she put her hand on your shoulder and patted it. ¨can we just sit here? we just got here! look at the view¨ she said before crossing her arms again and looking at you with a smile.

The view was clearly beautiful. The sun coming down as it usually does but in this particular rock, there was something different about the scenery. ¨pretty cool for a shit planet¨ you muttered, dropping your things before you got down and sat criss cross. Chani joined you, enjoyed the view for a little longer before she looked over at you.

¨why do you like him so much, Paul?¨ she questioned kindly, usually she didnt like talking about him, she was never a fan. You looked at her, studying her face you could see she had a serious face beside her eye slightly winched from the sun, she waiting on your answer before she lifting her knee and laid on her elbow. you sighed before sitting with your legs flat out with your hands in your lap, it wasnt a hard question, it just caught you off guard. Why were you so attracted to him? . ¨i….i dont know, actually¨ you looked back into the view, chewing on the side of your cheek before continuing. ¨its not everyday you get a new comer who is so emotionally strong but you could see he is so lost in those gorgeous eyes. Someone so intelligent, beautiful, kind, and wise. Who wants to learn and is¨ you did an exaggerated sigh before raising your fingers to quote ¨so humble, as stilgar says¨ chani laughs before laying flat out. ¨he was new, wasnt like us. us growing up, we were used to the same routine, everyone around everyone. So when he got here, when he wanted me.. I just…felt…different. Everything felt different¨ a small smile played on your face as you thought of him.

“ever thought of kids?” paul asked, playing with your hair. “why are you thinking of kids in your current situation, paul? wouldnt that be too much?” you reply, your arm laid across him and your head in his chest. he chuckled in return, you felt his heartbeat skip and pitter patter before you felt the vibrations from his voice, “i wouldnt wanna have a kid unless its yours, y/n” and with that you smiled and looked up at him, pressing a kiss to his lips before he wrapped his arms around your waist to flip you guys over, you both chuckled before paul pulled up the sheets.

You wanted to feel his warm embrace again. You wanted him again. ¨i had a vision- well a dream that one day, he would be ruler. Be so wise and so gentle, which he already is. But i would be at his side, carrying his kids. Happy family. Getting to see his eyes… looking into him and only seeing love, i wouldnt ever grow tired of it. Y/N atredies, queen of atredies, me and him. You and stilgar, everyone around each other. Happy family, happy life. Of course war, but-¨ you cut yourself off, ¨i just want love, ever since i experieced it with him, its hard to let go. He teached me genuine love, nothing less, nothing more. The way he was so honest. How could i ever let that go?¨ you questioned, a puzzled look on your face as you waited on chani to answer. She took a pause, she once again looked back at the view before looking at you.

¨you do understand that he isnt the same anymore, right?¨”she said, looking up. ¨i understand,¨ you nodded, ¨ and i saw it, when he said he was waiting for me. He changed when he drunk the water of life. I dont think he really… values relationships anymore. I remember, i remember before he drunk the water, way before. He would tell me about these nightmares he had and how he was going to do everything to stop it¨ you pursed your lips to the side, as the conversation flowed, your confidence in your relationship was going lower and lower. As much as you didnt want to hear it, you needed to. ¨he lost himself, y/n¨ chani says. ¨are you sure when you walk back into his life hes gonna be the same old paul?¨

You bit your lip before looking down at your hands and let out a breath, ¨thats what were going to find out, right?¨ ¨to be honest,¨ chani sighed and put her hands behind he head, looking at the ceiling of the rock. ¨ i dont really trust him, never did. nor do i like him. He took advantage of us y/n. Tricked us, making us fight for him¨ chani said without filter. ¨he is the preacher, its written. I believe in him¨ you said pridefully, showing humility as you will always stand behind your one true love. ¨you got your sight taken by the vision of love¨ chani looks at you, she felt bad that you were so blind. But you were often like this, always have been. Soft, sensitive, caring. Its true, you and muad´dib are perfect for each other, chani could see that, but you honestly didnt wanna talk about it if she wasnt even gonna try to understand. ¨white savior¨ she finishes and looks up at the ceiling of the rock again before she looks back into the distance. ¨i love him¨ that was your finishing statement.

It was as if nothing faded, like you didnt grow, like you saw paul yesterday, like you never left. Chani felt so bad, so bad that you kept searching for paul in sleepless nights. But she also felt slightly angry, as if she didnt take you under her wing and teach you something brand new, a new way of life. It was like you totally discarded it, like you didnt want it, you didnt want to. Paul or nothing. Did you not value chanis friendship? Her love? She would never ask, shes too dominate for that. But it bothered her.

¨we should leave before it gets too late¨ chani mutters, letting out a slight groan before she stood and wiped her hands off on the pockets of her pants. You followed suit and picked up your bag before something dropped. It was pauls necklace, a family heirloom he trusted you with, he wanted you to have it. You looked at it before picking it up, rubbing over it and placing it over your neck before following chani.

The sand crunched against your shoes as you followed her, she was silent as she held the tools to get a sandworm. It was offly hot today and you both lacked water so she viewed it at that point, she already discussed with you that she wasnt gonna work for muad´dib, wasnt gonna fight for him, only gonna fight for her people. You looked at her, the sweatbeads on her forehead visible but it didnt make her look bad. You sat while you waited for the sandworm to appear.

When you arrived the foundation looked huge, guards around the premises dressed in black, all tall, muscular, and you could easily tell they were worthy of their place. ¨follow me¨ chani said, her walk bold and strong as you followed behind her in suit. Chani walked up the the guard and the guard had a strong bold look. ¨who are you?¨ the guard asked. ¨chani¨ she replied, taking off the mask that covered her eyes. ¨freman¨ he muttered, he looked over chanis shoulder and saw you. ¨and you?¨ he questioned, ¨freman¨ you replied. He stepped aside and allowed you both to enter. Chani pushed the door open, coming inside and you followed.

You werent used to this, spending all your life living in a rock. The walls were long and you looked at them, wanting to touch them, study the whole place. But there was something else you wanted to see to, the love of your life. ¨y/n, im gonna try to find stilgar. Be safe¨ chani whispered to you. ¨chani, this is home. Everyone we know is here, this is family¨ you said with a smile on your face. ¨its been six years. Foundations couldve changed, family couldve changed. Who knows what paul did, y/n¨ she said stern. You nodded your heard and she did too, leaving you off to find the one you wanted to see do desperately.

You walked, the building was so silent that you could hear your own footsteps, sand fell off your shoes as you walked, leaving a trail. A smile played on your lips as you walked throught the halls, checking every door, seeing your people. You asked them, ¨wheres paul?¨ in return they smiled, ¨not so sure. I dont even know where his room is at. Maybe check the throne room. Honestly, i havent seen him in a long time, y/n¨ and you did, no one was there. You furrowed your eyebrows and continued to look through the rooms, paul just wasnt there. Your happiness sooned turn into sadness and insecurity. Tears were on the edge of brimming your eyes. You exiteded the castle and sat down, leaning against the wall. You held your knees up to your chest and put your head on your forearms.

Where is he? Wheres chani? This is his place he cant be impossible to find, can he? Why cant i find him? Wheres his wife? All these thoughts coursed through your head as you waited, you ended up falling asleep, outside.

¨y/n?¨ you heard. Your neck had a crane as you looked up. ¨y/n!¨ it was a voice you recognized, ¨why are you outside?¨ they laughed, you finally looked up after rubbing your eyes and it was stilgar. ¨stilgar!¨ you yelled, he came down to your level and hugged you. He laughed ¨look at you, all dirty¨ he wiped your face. ¨wheres paul?¨ you questioned, his smile dropped and his eyebrows furrowed. This took you aback, ¨wheres paul? I was gonna ask you that¨ he mutters, wiping the dirt off of your cheek. You dropped his hand and looked at him with desperate eyes, ¨what-what do you mean?¨ you asked, desperate for an answer. ¨paul left 2 years ago, y/n. He said when he came back, he would come back with you¨” stilgar looks down as he reveals, you stood, paced, questioned. ¨he said he would wait for me- i….i dont understand! Stilgar¨ you let out a whine, trying to fight the tears. ¨where is he? Stilgar please, please!¨ you begged, dropping to your knees. Stilgar couldnt muster to come up with anything to say. In honesty, he mightve been more sad than you. The messiah is gone, lost. No where to be found. How could he find him? Where could he possibly be? Two years. Two. this was like heartbreak all over again. Before, you knew he was alive, but now. You know nothing. Should you go back? Is he still searching for you?

[alexa1ien]

Sal fisher🎸

"Dont you get it your the other women?!"

Summary: Ashley was gone. Sal was sad and lonely he was mentally depressed. He wanted to be held by Ashley again until he remembers your her twin sister! Your a perfect match. Oh how a fool you were. Afab read! Time 2000s! Ooc

Y/n Campbell. The other side of Ashley Campbell. They both are alike. But different. You see Y/n is the chaos of them two. She was considered the chaos master while Ashley was the calm one and always kept things in order. That's what Sal liked the most about Ashley no matter the situation good or bad Ashley kept Calm. Sal wanted to marry Ashley but she left for art school which changed everything.

One day Sal invited Ashley Y/n in a diner. They were both spending time together talking. Sal was just bored out of his mind sure he wasnt like this but Ashley leaving was taking a toll on him. He saw Y/n and released that they both look alike. What if he makes s replacement for Ashley. So he wouldn't feel shallow and lonely. He interrupted Y/n. "Hey Y/n?" Y/n later replied "Yeah?" "Would you change your style?" Y/n looked Suprised but shocked her head yes "Well maybe? I'm here to explore new things!". After that conversation. Sal showed up the next day with same clothes that Ashley wore. But it made you uncomfortable but Sal didn't care he only cared about Ashley...

Your Ashley now.

You and Sal both hung out together. Sal thought you how to ride a motorcycle and how to take photos. Larry and Todd tried to tell Sal that this was toxic for him and Y/n but he didnt listen. As time went on Y/n left in love. Unfortunately Ashley came in the wrong time. When Y/N came inside the apartment building she saw Sal and Ashley kissing. Y/n was heartbroken as she left. Ashley stood up and ran up to her

"Y/N?! What happened and why do you look like me!"

"YOU EXIST! I WAS ABOUT TO FIND LOVE!"

"Hey! Leave Ashley Alone! Cant you get it your the other women!"

"YOUR SUPPOSED TO BE WITH ME! SHES THE OTHER WOMEN!"

Ashley slowly started to understand as she pushed Sal aside as she ran to hug her sister. She teared up a bit

"Oh god... I'm so sorry Y/n! I didnt mean it! I... he made you look like me... come one let's go home and change..."

After that. Y/n moved to NY with Ashley in her college dorm room sobbing. Why could she be the other women?..

(No happy endings mwheheheh)

[kyokikia]

Im curious, do people even write for uta? Do people like uta at all?? If you cant tell, she's my favorite female character! I dont see anyone talking about her 😭😭

i might write for her if someone requests it (when requests are back open) but she might be the only one piece female i would ever write for so, sorry for that

Has anyone else on here watched film red? I wanna talk about it with someone because its one of my favorite movies, currently listening to new genesis as i speak (ado's singing was HEAVENLY in the movie)

Ado's singing is so heavenly, and she honestly captured the supposed greatness of uta's voice PERFECTLY. I watched the movie in sub so i couldnt hear amalee dubbing uts, but honestly, i listened to amalee's covers of the songs, and i think the dub watchers were robbed from hearing amalee's covers. She covered all the songs PERFECTLY! She did the spell part of tot musica perfectly aswell and i adore Amalee's and Ado's works so much!

SPOILERS UNDER KEEP READING FOR ONE PIECE: FILM RED

I think she's a little crazy but i love her a lot, what she did in the movie is honestly justifiable. I love her design so much, i wanna cosplay her but i got my bills to pay 😭 i'll do it once i get extra money tho, anyway, i feel so bad for her because for years she thought that shanks had abandoned her but turns out she was manipulated into singing tot musica by the people of Elegia 😭 i feel so bad knowing on how much she probably blamed herself for what happened but it wasnt her fault at all

Shanks is so selfless i swear, the way he just chose to take the blame instead so uta wouldn't blame herself and so she could make other people happy with her voice aswell 😭♥️

Watching uta descend into madness, as her mental health and physical state reach its absolute lowest was so heartbreaking (but the movie was so cool to watch!)

As you probably know, the wakeshrooms cause the person who eats them to stay awake until they die, and makes them more aggravated and brings out their negative emotions more, so i can see why she became more deranged as the movie went on. i feel so bad for her she deserves better 😭 i see why she was driven into madness after meeting shanks after all those years

Being kept on that island for so many years mustve been so depressing, so she was in a bad mental state most of her life. Kept alone, isolated with the entire world other than Gordon, not knowing anything going on in the world is so sad

I can see why she hates pirates so much, seeing as she cares so much about her fans (that she would trap them in the sing sing world just so they wouldnt have to deal with pirates anymore and for a 'new era' which she had good intentions with, but honestly it wasnt that great of an idea) she had the idea that all pirates were bad, and seeing all her fans sending her video mail about it probably amplified her hatred.

I took notice on how by the time uta had to sing tot musica, she was in her absolute worst mental and physical state, some of the words were linked together some words were messed up, i think ado captured on how much of a terrible state uta was in by the time she was forced to sing the song perfectly, i adore ado's singing in film red so much

I might've misunderstood uta honestly, i might've done her wrong in this post, i also realize this entire post is a rant but oh well i honestly just wanted to talk about her, anyone wanna tell me their thoughts on film red?

[ghostedeabha]

riley family hcs:

tw: mentions of post-partum depression and psychosis, mentions of self harm, mentions of death/dying/suicide (no actual death though, everyone is alive!!), allusions to ghost's trauma

- matthew is a big batman enjoyer just like his dad, simon got him matching batman stuff all the time growing up

- matthew is also a big softie, big guy like his dad but is just an absolute softie (biggest animal lover fr)

- lyla's first word was tea because simon asks for tea so much when he's home she picked it up from him

- luka's first word was pineapple and it to this day baffles you and simon

- bug and matthew will never admit it's because they trained him to do it

- 90% of what simon drinks when he is home is tea

- he probably asks for tea at least once an hour

- "baby can you make me some tea?"

- "love, are you making tea? can you make me some too?"

- "do you want to have some tea?"

- "oh, while you're up can you grab me a cuppa?"

- atp just keep the kettle on 24/7 when he's home

- bug kept their middle name, it's joeseph <3

- true to their name, bug used to bring all assortments of bugs home with them as a kid

- literally just pulled a mf earth worm out of his pocket one night at dinner when he was 8

- simon and matthew freaked out

- "ew! why did bring that to the table?!"

- "bug you're gonna make me sick, please get that thing away from our dinner..."

- "matthew! simon! be nice!"

- lyla is a big daddy's girl, luka is a mommy's boy

- idk if i mentioned it before but bug uses they/he pronouns (will use she/her to spite people, only ever to spite people)

- matthew has beat up transphobes at school for bug (and would gladly do it again)

- soap tried so hard to convince simon to name a kid after him

- closest he got was matthew's middle name being john (he'll take the win)

- lyla's middle name is valerie (for the sole reason that mummy likes the song valerie a little too much, it kinda pisses simon off because it's so close to valeria but he lives with it and learns to love it every time he sees his lover dancing around the kitchen to the song)

- luka legally doesn't have a middle name, it's supposed to be spencer

- simon may or may not have forgotten to write it down on the certificate

- he was emotional, okay?

- at least he remembered to put his name there at all??

-he misspelled riley by accident the first time and scribbled it out

- when soap found out he refused to let him live it down and reminds him of it every opportunity he gets

- only for simon to remind him of the time bug shoved a snail down soap's throat when he was a child and soap actually ate it so he wouldn't hurt bug's feelings

- shell and all

- soap shuts up quickly after that

- uncle soap <3

- some sad ones comin your way besties

- simon wasnt exactly a good dad for the first couple years of matthew and bugs lives

- you were both young and he was still very unhealed from his (continuously growing) trauma

- a lot of fights were had

- a lot of simon just leaving in the middle of the night out of nowhere

- it took one really bad fight where you completely broke down in front of him for him to realize that he had to get his shit together

- family therapy appointment was booked the next day for as soon as possible

- truthfully he didn't think it would help, he's always been a big therapy hater

- but to his surprise it helped a lot, of course it still took some time and a lot of hard work but he did eventually grow to become a much better father and partner

- luckily by the time matthew and bug were in their most formative years is when simon had become a bit more stable and a better dad

- of course they still had to go through his deployments and the trauma of not knowing if their dad would come home, but they never ever experienced trauma at the hands of simon

- simon actually suffered PPD and PPP alongside you after you had the kids

- neither of you developed PPP until the twins though

- it was a very big struggle for both of you

- there was a short period of time where you actually had your parents take the kids because neither of you trusted yourselves alone with them

- his lasted much shorter than yours did though

- there was a period of time where you were still suffering both PPD and PPP while simon was deployed and it ended up with you and matthew in the hospital

- you hadn't intended to hurt him, he just happened to get in the way of you hurting yourself and you accidentally hurt him as well

- simon didn't find out until he came home from deployment and saw that you weren't alone at home with the kids but instead had hired a nanny who was trained for situations like this

- he felt awful that he couldn't be there for you when you needed someone so badly

- he could've lost you and he wouldn't have known until he came home

- but he didn't

- anyyywaaaayyyys, back to the happy stuff :3

- bug watches markiplier

- matthew watches buzzfeed unsolved (loves watching it with uncle soap<3)

- sleepovers at uncle soap's when he's off of deployment 🥰

- matthew had a habit of bringing random strays into the house from the ages of 6-10

- or even just random wild animals he somehow befriended

- get home from work and he's just sitting there on the couch with a raccoon in his hands

- you just stand there like ????

- "matthew, please get that thing out of my house..."

- "but why? it's nice mummy."

- "i know you think so honey, but it's really not. it's probably very dirty and wants to be left alone. they live outside for a reason, right bud? if they wanted to be in homes, they would be."

- "fine... five more minutes?"

- "two, no more, no less. and that include your saying goodbye time."

- "fine."

[wiihtigo]

CASEY NATION RISE 7, 9, 17, 20, 23, 25

ask game

7. What’s one way your OC has changed since you first came up with them?

i used to think that she didnt care much about the art of actually acting and cinema and stuff and for her it was more about just being famous and it didnt matter how. i think that was partially because although i knew i wanted her to lust for fame and money the acting dream was kind of just randomly decided on. i thought i could easily swap it out with modelling or singing or something and it wouldnt make much difference. but the more time ive spent with casey, the more i see her as a true lover of movies and art....which i think leads in well to her endgame job being a script editor rather than an actor. her true talents lie behind the screen even if she herself doesnt see it...

9. Do you have a specific lyric or quote which you associate with your OC?

whats a girl to do - cristina

a post canon (after nell dies) caseys life anthem:)

17. What is the worst thing you have put your OC through story-wise?

well i was going to blame it entirely on you that nell dies and i had no say in that but i suppose i did come up with her emotional reaction to that myself, which causes me a lot of slow damage pain. SO I GUESS THAT..the fact she pushes michelle away after it happens is really depressing to me because thats literally her only friend left and only possible pillar of support, but she pushes her away because she hates everything and shes mad shes not nell and shes mad at her family and wants to explode. I think she'd be marginally less suicidal if she stayed friends with her.....

I guess also pulling from alternate realities the one where she dies is pretty fucked up. and very painful. and nell doesnt even make it to her to cradle her in her arms. SAD

20. Does your OC have a tendency to get jealous? If so, how does this manifest?

yyessss. at least when he and nell start getting lowkey. no. highkey #serious. early in their setup he wouldnt gaf if nell was married to a businesswoman in russia.but when they start ummmm [redacted] then hes like waittt. lol waittttttt lol wait. lol. WAITTT. gets a little annoyed when theyre at the doom patrol warehouse party and jayna from the wonder twins tries to get ladybugs number. THATS MY BODYGUARD..GET YOUR OWN. it manifests in that he'll get clingy to nell and mean and passive aggressive (or just aggressive) towards the person pissing him off. will be petty and spiteful (sees some poor scared nervous young lesbian trying to say hi to nell so he slides in and nuzzles up to her shoulder in public to let that sstupid kid know to go away)

idk why he does this. if you asked him if he liked nell he would say And what has she done to MAKE me like her

23. What emotion is the hardest for your OC to process? How about express?

lol GRIEF. little casey has never experienced a death before nell! not even a pet death. she has no idea how to process those feelings or cope with them in the slightest. she goes like catatonic immediately after the fact bcuz shes so completely shocked and wasnt prepared for it at all (lowkey thought ladybug was too awesomeand strong to ever get got. stupidd)

on the complete flip side, also .....l-l-l-l-l-l-l--l-l-l-l-l-l...LOVE. or at least feeling a smidge of serious romantic attraction to someone. in canon end she never gets to deal with that bcuz she only realizes it after nell died and then promptly buried everything related to nell deep inside a hole. but in nyc nell simply has an epic near death experience where hes hospitalized and thats when casey is like fuuuuuuuuuck that scared me. DO I LIKE HER? she acts a bit pathetic and tsundere abt it which is endearing to me personally. maybe scares nell a bit. its cute to me though <3

25. What is your favorite thing about your OC?

shes not a good person </3 shes selfish and mean and doesnt care about other people </3 bent on revenge and hating </3 genuinely not a good guy </3 i love everything negative about casey the most

i also think secretary characters are sexy.

[beccawasautocorrected]

QSMP STREAM JUST HAPPENED‼️‼️‼️ SPOILERS BELOW

⬇️

PHIL BROKE A 100M+ POINTS RECORD HELP MEEEEE

TUBBO IS SUFFERING A DEPRESSION IN CHANNEL POINTS LMFAO

🔴BOLAS FOE THE WIN🔴 WITH THE PHIL V TUBBO 1V1

Everyone killing Quackity when the Eye said the traitor was amoung them was so fucking funny, like, no one hesitated LMFAO

EL QUACKITY WAS THE TRAITOR.. And we was wearing a red cloak with an eyeball in the center, fucking crazy

AT LEAST DAPPER IS ALIVE BUT COME ON, THE EGGS WERE RIGHT THERE..

Also Etoiles with Richas was so sad.. he was gonna help him escape but Richas said NO CUZ HE WASNT EVEN SUPPOSED TO BE THERE LMFAO..

Maximus and him shoving a whole ass fucling atomic nuke up his ass is the funniest shit ever

PURGATORY SEASON 2????? Yikes😬

I cannot wait what happens in the future, I was pretty absent for most of Purgatory, but I'm so glad I didn't miss this, this was so much fun and chaotic and because of this, I'll be so much more active for the streams, omg

🔴BOLAS🔴 PT. 2‼️‼️‼️

Maybe the real Purgatory was the OFFICIAL 🔴BOLAS🔴 PLAYLIST we got on the way‼️‼️‼️

ANYWAY, LETS SEE WHAT HAPPENS TOMORROW!!! WOOOOOO‼️Maybe Quesadilla will open?? Maybe Quackity Studios will announce something, WHO KNOWS, BUT IM SO EXCITED

Anyway this was my Ted talk, ty ty

[n3hmof1sh]

IM GOING TO CRY I THINK I STARTED MY PERIOD LIKE NOOO I WASNT SUPPOSED TO MY ANTI DEPRESSION MEDS WERE SUPPOSED TO MAKE IY NOT START FOREVER!!! 😭

i think i did because theres no blood but alot of cramps and sadness

good news im getting birth control soon tho

Oh!!! Congrats!!!! (The birth control thing)

Aaaaaa I'm rlly sorry to hear thattt!!!! I wish I could help you somehow T-T

[oddinary4bts]

i think the issue or more like the most disturbing part for oc and us is the fact jk did this for literally nothing. like i know he's also suffering himself but the reason of their break up (gaby) literally told him to tell her secret to oc and shes okay with it but he just let her go. he made a choice of letting her go and letting end their relationship at this point bc how else oc supposed to react? it wasnt a misunderstanding about cheating the act still happened and it had a reason but she didnt fucking know and its not like the moment she found out she would be announcing it to whole world. he chose to not tell and he chose to let her think that he cheated. he did say it wasnt cheating but honestly who does say they cheated when they did? she literally saw with her eyes. all he have to do saying one sentence and he chose not to. and now he lost everything. and the lisa part...i dont know. i think the wrong part is that he did this in their shared home bc thats just sick. he can be sad and depressed and devastated all he wants but at the end of the day its all his fault not anyone else's. i just feel sorry for oc like she didnt even thought about they've been in pain for no fucking reason for months and just ran to him. its just so sad.

(and dont misunderstand its not a critism to you its just me rumbling bc i want to kill jk so bad:)

Don’t kill my baby😭😂😂

But yeah as of right now it definitely is a misunderstanding that is Jungkook’s fault but like Gabrielle said, Jungkook sacrifices himself constantly if it can help others. In this case he thought he was helping Gabrielle, and yes he’s wrong for it but it just is what it is, you know?

[angstics]

tv glow long thoughts

tv glow had a bunch of good moments and good performances (when our hero’s friend is crawling on the floor!), and of course it’s the type of film to represent how something feels rather than show the reality of it. but it felt like i was being fed themes that i understood before watching; i wasnt creating my own meaning, i was supposed to just grab the film’s. there’s a single meaning. i dont even know how people found the ending to be ambiguous? it’s a cautionary tale while also being sympathetic to the hero not being brave enough. like being afraid isnt a crime, not even to yourself.

i also found the devices weird without a point (talking to camera? i did like when justice smith avoided the camera though ie when they were in the dress, when they were behind the fire in a specific shot). it obvi takes from buffy a lot (the cameo :)) and i havent seen much of buffy, but if MOTW shows are al similar, then buffy must be narrative driven — cause and effect. so it was weird to contrast what i assumed to be a very structured inspiration with a very abstract film. even lynch (afais) takes far more technically from classic film. not just the aesthetics, what it seems, but what it Is and Does. ive seen part of schoenbrun’s world fair so i knew to expect something slow and atmospheric.

the lighting & vfx were wonderful. some really beautiful shots. oh my god that big bad scene was really good and creepy, the animation looked GREAT. the styling was weeeeird. the foley was weird. the music was distracting and i didnt connect with it BUT i like the live music scene. I think the soundtrack was intentionally going for a mixtape feel, but that goes back to using aesthetics for the sake of it rather than for the good of the film as a Film. maybe i have overly traditional tastes lol

anyhow i liked it. I felt sad for our heroes but at the same time im so annoying about “dealing with it” and “making the best out of a situation”. I feel like the internet could still save them. And treatment to regulate anxiety-depression. There is still time! I will not see it as their tragedy! Theyre a sort of martyr to me — dying to save us. Its the suburbs maaaan

That core series finale-reality bending story really was so good and executed well

[akirameta84]

Dragon AU Question time! When THK awoke in the Black Egg Temple, did they fit through the entrance properly? I imagine they bonked thier horns on it and then truely realized thier acual change, shock and confusion would easily allow them to just crawl out first thing in the, well, morning.

these reference this au (and this post links to an earlier post, even) so check it out cough

1. not really but they. "fixed" the entrance via accidental brute force. its a good thing nobody was gonna want to go back in there again because it wasnt in the greatest state before their horns took out any structural support the entrace had

2. there was an attempt to stop them from entering houses and shops that still had an intact doorframe but they just looked so sad that the bugs of dirtmouth decided that doorframes were an old trend anyways lmfao

3. hornet "borrowed" jijis cave. she walked in and asked if anyone was using it and didnt wait for an answer (the answer she got was too scared by the dragon and half dragon half spider and her weapon to refuse. not that she would have. there are far worse roommates than the only living descendants of the fabled king, after all)

4. i adore how you imagined those spells so those interpretations are pretty damn great. i hadn't thought much about how soul magic would be altered but thats a damn good way to do it <3 so i say they work just like that lmfao

5. they could weild a nail but they prefer to just bite and claw and stab things with their tail. all of those in combination with spells are more than effective.

anyways. thank you so much for the asks i am obsessed with this new au and im glad someone else enjoys it too <3

hornet and her wyrm siblings (after godhome)/hornet and the feral vessel that made her realize that the hollow knight was supposed to also look more like a wyrm than they did before the spells were destroyed (before godhome happened). the small one with too much energy who has slain gods and the big one with depression <3

[tears-of-boredom]

i completely forgot to do this omg only now remembered

so uhh, prepare for a lot of talk about The Exorcist. because i took notes. ill talk about shit in the order it happens in the movie. and yeah spoilers.

so first, the part that's in Iraq. i liked the quiet, very comforting. im very confused what's wrong with the old guy. he looks like a walking cane would help him a lot. more than the molly or whatever pills he takes. and also i was so confused why that statue mattered at all.

mom checks up on Reagan: "wind cannot be that cold in like usa the fuck you shivering for",, in hindsight, there's another reason for it to be so cold.

the film set: "damien karras spotted!!" @weirdlildude you have conditioned me to get excited whenever i see him. otherwise, "what the hells going on", i was so confused the whole time, mainly because i didnt know if the protest was real, or if everyone was actors. it was just very confusing. and when damien walks away: "sad pathetic man!!"

mom, Chris, is walking home: "ace attourney ass music" and "why'd she pay attention to that??" when she stops and watches the priests talking.

"what is with this movie and the sound design", just a general statement. the movie likes to contrast thick silences with really loud sounds.

Karras visits his mother: "pathetic man caught lying to his mother!!", when he says he's alright.

Chris and Reagan hang out: "girlypop ive got a chronic case of parent issues"

the other priest checks up on Karras: "losing faith? *eyebrow raise*"

Chris goes up to the attic to check the noise: "omg im like so bored", legit nothing was happening, was getting very bored. also i didnt write this in my notes, but Chris has a horrid haircut. its like a bowlcut but worse.

priest does stuff in the church: "do priests legit need to kneel everytime they approach the altar. doesnt that get like really tiring geez" and when the priest discovers the vandalised statue: "LMAOOO JGGIDJAGHJAFD FUCK YEAH"

Reagan's first doctors visit: "omg words that should never come out of a mothers mouth number 1 "my daughters not depressed" "

the director gets drunk at Chris' party and calls that one dude a nazi: "LMAOF "whats for dessert?😏" "

Karras has a dream: "doggy:)"

Reagan's second hospital visit: "oh god i hate horror stuff that takes place in a hospital", and "oh god i hate this why's she awake during this"

Karras is running on the track: "he's a runner he's a track star", when he's talking with the detective and leans on the chain fence "i want him to kabedon me like that", and when the conversation ends "tbh i did not fully understand that conversation but understanding that father karras is a little shit is enough"

Chris and Reagan return home and the detective is watching them: "this fucking creep ass detective", Chris and him start talking "i fucking hate this guy omg shut up", they talk more "this guy is so rude omg"

Chris hears Reagan scream and goes to check on her: "is uhh,, is this movie like pure horror? like that wasnt supposed to be comedic?". this is where i started to really be confused about the genre of the movie. like, i started to realise that it was not inciting any horror from me, and barely even like, anxiousness. like i did care for the characters, but its hard to really feel scared for them when the demon threatening them is chanting "let jesus fuck you", and puking constantly.

Chris goes to ask Karras for an exorcism: "why is the church so progressive in this??" like legit you're telling me the catholic church doesn't believe in posession, because science has advanced to explain the symptoms. that sounds like bullshit to me. in 1973? you're just lying.

Chris is desperate to help her daughter: "dude my parent issues be hitting hard"

Karras throws tap water onto Reagan: "i dont get it like. why did it react to the water?", i just dont get it. the movie doesn't really care to explain it. cuz i thought that the demon actually wouldn't be real because of that. or did Karras unintentionally bless the water by saying its holy? idk

when Karras and the older priest take a break from exorcising, and the old priest walks off: "is he gonna kill her. also am i supposed to understand what the pills he's taking are?". genuinely i have no fucking idea what the pills are that this old guy keeps taking, like they could just be breath mints for all i know.

Karras is sitting downstairs in the hall: "sorry he's so hot jeezums"

Karras is resolved to not let the demon kill Reagan: "oh shit karras be fighting FOR THIS GIRLS LIFE"

Chris opens the door to the detective: "OH MY GOD FUCKING GO AWAY YOU DETECTIVE"

Karras, uhm,, takes a leap of faith: "I FORGOT THAT THIS HAPPENS I KNEW THIS AND STILL DEAR GOD NOOOOO",

"BUT ALSO KINDA COOL OF HIM TO DO THAT", it was kinda hot that he sacrificed himself, though he was probably just looking for a reason after his mom died.

Chris and Reagan talk to that one priest that knew Karras: "oh like she(Reagan)'s thanking karras for saving her? she recognised the collar and felt compelled to thank him?", wondering why Reagan gave a kiss to the priest.

this whole ending scene tbh: "jesus its so quiet again", this movie really likes its quiet silences.

detective talks to dyer: "LMAOOOOO"

credits: "DAMN I ACTUALLY REALLY LIKE THE SOUND TRACK??", "lmao warner bros should add a "the exorcist" attraction into the universal studios park"

anywayy yeah its a fun movie, though i feel the need to read the book now to understand it fully ya know? feels like im missing something... also i know that it got popular cuz its so like "provocative" and stuff, but in this age i dont really get the hype. i guess it is still worth appreciating for furthering the art of film ya know.

[just-rogi]

this is so stupid but im depressed, and im angry im depressed because i want to be happy right now you dont understand. i have been struggling so fucking bad these past few months when my health went downhill and i had to go on medical leave, i couldnt see my friends for so long, and i stopped getting paid and its fine i have money saved up but i feel insane guilt at spending any money on anything at all for pleasure while im off work. like ive dropped hundreds on doctors appointments in the past two months and cant rationalize concert tickets or shit. ive been having just bouts of anxiety and grief and i can manage them because i know HOW to manage them but its just frustrating doing all the depression upkeep when i WANT to be happy. i turned twenty two last month and i havent celebrated my birthday since i was in fourth grade because of reasons, and i was really scared of being let down so i just dont celebrate, but this year i begged my closest friend- i dont want a party i dont want people there, i just want to not be alone, and not be sad and i want to listen to 22 by taylor swift. and due to an emergency she had to cancel on me at nine pm the night before and i was so upset about changing plans i just wasnt able to regulate my emotions or be there with my other friend who showed up at my apartment unexpectedly, because i wasnt emotionally ready to be happy, i just didnt want to be devastatingly sad. I have been waiting to play 22 by taylor swift on my 22nd birthday for at least a decade. its so fucking stupid, its SO fucking stupid, but i was so disoriented and depressed that i cant bring myself to listen to it which is dumb because its not even a good song but it was supposed to be happy. my grandmother was the only member of my family who wished me a happy birthday, and less than a week later was easter and i wasnt invited but all my siblings were there. and im trying so hard to go for walks and talk to friends and go to the library and make art, but i keep going to doctors appointments and i cant do shit i used to be able to do and i feel so isolated at home... and it just kinda hit me... im not excited to listen to the new taylor swift album tonight. what the fuck. im taylor swift girl. im like THE swiftie friend. there were people in highschool who only knew me because i loved taylor swift, hell even on tumblr i was known for my stochastic terrorist taylor swift post that went viral, and.... i dont care. Its not even that i dont care- its that i actively dont WANT to listen to the album tonight. my phone lock screen is a sylvia plath poem, i have a full shelf of just my favorite poets, like poetry and taylor swift are my favorite things in the world and everyone knows it... and im not excited. what the fuck. i want to be excited again. i want to be happy about this. im sick of doing depression manitence and going outside and eating fruit and taking showers and going on walks. IM ANGRY BECAUSE IM SICK AND I DONT HAVE ANSWERS AND EVERY WEEK IS A NEW DOCTORS APPOINTMENT AND I DONT EVEN GET TO BE HAPPY ABOUT TAYLOR SWIFT???? cmon man its hard enough i just want to be feeling something again. i deserve to be happy about this so why am i miserable and apathetic. i get it. im a swiftie and taylor isnt even that good and its not even something special because she releases new music every other week..... but man... i want to be excited about something again. its not my fault this time- i did everything right and im still just so fucking sad i cant cope

[sfdahn]

its a state, not an emotion

and when I think something about like… human being… I am just curious about when the bluest period I have been through… and I can't find it, can't define it… I don't know nothing, ykr? I feel so ashamed when people say my name… I hate that name, I hate my real name, I hate the one who 12yo boy cries and wishes to have somebody play with him, be a friend of him… you know, I feel like I don't deserve to be like that… never… it's been 2 years now and I haven't received a call from anyone purpose that “happy birthday” I feel fine af… but… I'm scared of my sociability… it's going down to hell… I'm just waiting for the day I graduate from my uni, on that day, I'll unfriend all my “university friends” on Facebook… I'm so eager for that day…

it wasnt surprising that i experienced a loneliness more paralysing than anything that i've encountered in more than a decade of isolating myself from others.

what did it feel like? It felt like being hungry, I suppose, in a place where being hungry is shameful, and where one has no food and everyone else is full. It felt, at least sometimes, difficult and embarrassing and i have this weird thought of concealing even the smallest part of my sadness but willing to share all of my suicidal thoughts or attempts publicly. I don’t know how to express all these shitty things… you know, like every moment in my life is the answer to the biggest quiz I had.

f grammar, idgaf about E for 7 years so :)) but you know the second story of yesterday is a code for an old phone keypad… It means “suicide”, there’s no amazement in here and, I felt the rage yesterday, from depression to anger :)) can you gimme act like you're so surprised? :))

it's your mic. I'm out. That's all. Too many words now. (No big words)

Dahn.