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#you can see how badly this is affecting me
gabessquishytum · 1 day
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tw stepfamily fantasy, age difference. Human AU.
I promise this is Dreamling, stay with me lol
When Time dies, Night is eager to find herself a strapping young husband. Enter Hob, who has heard that the widow Endless is filthy rich. Don't get him wrong, Night IS a beautiful woman, but it's the money he's after. He charms her easily enough, and in less than 6 months they're married and living together in her huge mansion... it's only then that Hob gets to know her kids.
He knew she had 7 of them, of course, but, well, this is a lot. The eldest two seem well-adjusted enough, sort of, but they're early 20's and out of the house already? The youngest boy ran away from home and no one bothered to look for him. Del and Despair aren't getting any mental health care they seem to badly need. And then there's Desire and Dream.
Desire is beautiful and charming and smart as a whip, but they change sexual partners more often than most people do underwear and they're only 16. They love their twin but are awful to their other siblings and downright cruel to Dream.
And Dream... he's a piece of work, yes. But he's pretty. Just as pretty as his sibling, if not more. He's got a bratty cruelty that echoes Desire's but could still be corrected by a firm hand... He mocks Hob mercilessly for his humble origins and because Hob married for money, and to Dream's heartless mother of all people! He's so closed off to affection, shouts at Hob even while bursting into tears when Hob tells him Hob could at least be a friend to him, since 34 is a bit young to be a father figure to a teen. But oh, Hob can tell: this boy is so, so lonely. Dream wishes someone would take him, even if only for money...
Desire, of course, immediately figures out that Hob isn't actually in love with Night and promply tries to seduce him. Hob gently rejects them, of course, but they try again. And again. And again. And... well. And it's hard. It's really hard to resist them. They're really really beautiful, of course, and they're so good at this... but Hob's one braincell that's still getting blood knows better than to fuck a 16-year-old with that huge a cruel streak. That's just asking for trouble. And besides, Hob likes a challenge. Desire is just... too easy.
Dream, however... what a little temptation he is. He's so reserved. He tries to focus on his art. He tries to pay Hob little mind, but can't help to listen and smile at Hob's tales. He's gotten his heart broken more times than anyone should have any right to at his age, and is just as depressed as Despair and only marginally better at hiding it... Now, that's a challenge. And such an easy target at the same time. Seducing him would be so fun! Hob can just imagine how outraged Dream would be at first... but Hob can be convincing, and Dream so badly needs someone to want him. And Hob is so horny, with Desire touching him all day, whispering filth in his ear, trying to sext him and send him nudes. You see, Night has a pretty low libido, too low if you ask Hob, and Hob's hand is a poor substitute for sex with another person.
Hob doesn't want Night to divorce him, of course, so he's wary of looking for sex outside the house, afraid to get caught if he's out too long with no explanation (he doesn't need to work now after all) and he wouldn't stoop so low as to take advantage of the house staff...
Isn't it so convenient that Dream just turned 18?
-PA
(reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated)
Oh fuck oh FUCK this is hot. AND HEY PA ANON I MISSED YOU <333
Hob feels like he's living inside a powder keg, honestly. He thought that marrying for money and living a life of luxury would be wonderful, but now he even longs for a job that would just get him out of the house. He's trapped in horny hell and he's sure that he's going to do something terrible and/or stupid. As a last ditch attempt, he sweetly suggests to Night that the two of them could take a little vacation - just the two of them, to the gorgeous little tropical vacation spot that the family owns. Death and Destiny can watch over the kids, and Night can have a well deserved break!
Alas, she just smiles and kisses Hob’s cheek. Unfortunately she's far too busy for a holiday right now. But she encourages Hob to go and soak up the sun - he's starting to look pale and stressed, and she can't have her toyboy husband looking under the weather. Her one request is that Hob should take Dream with him. She's noticed that Dream and Desire's fights have been getting more and more serious recently, and she's tired of the screaming matches. Some time apart will be beneficial for the siblings. And it will make Night's life a lot quieter.
Hob can't backtrack now, so he agrees. And he's even more glad to get away, because when Desire finds out that Dream has been sent off on holiday with Hob, they throw an absolute fit. Naked. In Hob’s bedroom. Hob’s single braincell really needs to get out of there.
It's not like Dream is even pleased to be forcibly packed off on holiday with his "step-father". He spends the whole journey in snide silence, occasionally muttering under his breath about Hob being a total creep. (And he's right, because Hob is still shamefully horny about the beautiful 18 year old. He nearly embarrasses himself completely when Dream grabs his hand because they hit turbulence.)
But it's funny how you can hate someone and still want to fuck them. Older men were always Desire's territory, but Dream is starting to see the appeal. He's starting to think that his mother is a fool for letting Hob out of her sight. When he catches his first glimpse of Hob on the beach in his swimwear, Dream makes up his mind: he's going to be a bad person.
Hob fucks him for the first time on the beach-house balcony. There are stars above them, possibly - Dream doesn't really recall. He's sure that Hob recalls even less. He's desperate, primal, unhinged. He cums, and just keeps going until both of them are exhausted. Obviously somebody needs to take care of him properly, if this is how wound up he gets.
Well. The Endless family have always been fucked up. This is just another chapter in the story. Maybe Night will even be grateful to her son, for keeping her husband happy...
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mykoreanlove · 5 hours
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i need skz angst like rn??😭
hyunjin x female reader, and they maybe decide to go out to like a club or something, and some guy hits on the reader and hyunjin is like “you were flirting back!” and the reader is just very confused bc they tried to let the guy know as kindly as possible that they are taken, but hyunjin is still really mad and it results in them fighting
and then maybe hyunjin decides to go home but not like a shared apartment thing like he goes somewhere reader doesn’t know about
and then a day passes and he’s like “oh no i fucked up” and comes to readers apartment to apologize
happy ending? tysmmm🎀
I was like sure, let's writing something short and quick but somehow it turned into 6 pages lol. hope u enjoy it :)
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The pros of being an insanely hot couple? A lot of sex and affection, a lot of people wanting to be like you and a lot of praise and admiration.
The cons of being an insanely hot couple? A lot of people trying to take your place, a lot of jealous envy and a lot of insecurity.
“Baby, you look incredible”, Hyunjin whispered into your ear as he hugged you from behind. You were standing in front of the mirror, admiring your look for the night. “I wanted to look good for you”, you shyly admitted as you leaned into him. “There is absolutely nothing you have to do to accomplish this, y/n. Nothing, you hear me?”
Ever since you met Hyunjin a couple of weeks ago your whole world turned around. You were used to dating a lot and having fun, but this was different. He was different. Both of you fell for the other rather quickly, a romance that revealed a hidden side within you.
“I want to kiss you so badly”, you whined.
“Why don’t you?”
Instantaneously, you pointed to your lips covered in deep ruby red.
“Ah”, he nodded understandingly. “Is it okay then if I do this?”, Hyunjin asked before kissing every inch of your collarbone, slightly sucking to mark his territory.
Hyunjin was a confident guy, knowing damn well that he was good looking and talented and still he felt conflicted at times. What if this was not enough? What if he was not enough for you? Since you were in your early dating stages, he never had vocalized his concerns, but his body did. His need to be near you, touch you and possess you was evident from the start.
“Jinnie, stop”, you giggled as you pushed him away.
Irritation grew on his face, not understanding why you were distancing yourself.
“I’m gonna be covered in marks that everyone is going to see”, you teased.
He felt his chest tighten. Did you not want others to see them? Did you want to be perceived as single? His own sparks of insecurity got ignited again, waiting to turn into a full-size fire.
The club was crowded with people of all kinds – dancers, jocks, hot models, a real feast for the eye. You were used to people turning their heads, especially when you were together with Hyunjin. It never bothered you that much since you knew how devoted he was to you.
“Can I tell you something?” You were laying on his chest, watching him breathe calmly. “Sure.” “I found your old DVDs in the basement, and I started watching them while you were at work. Binging them, really. And I saw something that really stuck with me”, he explained silently. “What was it?” “Ever thine. Ever mine. Ever ours”, he explained softly. You turned your head and gazed into his teary eyes. “We haven’t been together that long, I know. But this is exactly how I feel, y/n. I can’t imagine my life without you anymore. Cannot. Do not want to. Impossible.” You started tearing up as well, finally feeling at home with another soul. You placed a soft kiss on his plush lips and whispered: “I’ll be your Carry, baby.”
“Come dance with me”, you shouted as you pulled him to the dance floor. It was hot and sticky, but you didn’t mind, in fact you loved it like that. The music was energetic and vibrant, filling the whole room with energy and life force. You only had eyes for Hyunjin, watching his body move gracefully to the music. When he danced, he became one with the tunes, one with the movements. He smirked as he caught you staring, knowing damn well that you were weak for his dancing. As the song changed into a slower, sexier one you found yourself in front of him, grinding on his muscular body. All the other people were forgotten as you swayed your hips on him, feeling him getting hard behind you. His hands on your body and his hot breath on your neck was all you needed to know.
Hyunjin however was more prone to your surroundings. He enjoyed having you like that, but he hated sharing you with others. He was too aware of the other pair of eyes that was set on you. Like a reflex, he pulled you closer, grabbed a bit harder and provoked your surrender, demonstrating whom you belonged to.
“Fuck, baby, if you keep this up, we have to go”, you moaned into his ear.
“Let’s do that”, his whole face lit up. “Let’s get out of here, y/nnie.”
“But we just came?”, you whined in annoyance.
Hyunjin’s eyes darkened as his gaze pierced through you. Just like that, goosebumps formed on your skin, electricity cursed through your body making you feel all hot. He knew exactly what he was doing to you.
“I’m going to the bathroom really quick to fix this situation right here”, he said as he nodded to his crotch, “and when I come back, we leave, you hear me?”
You swallowed and nodded, already anticipating the night ahead.
“Good girl.”
He placed a kiss on your forehead and turned around, quickly looking for the bathroom.
You walked over to the exit and leaned against the cold wall, waiting for your boyfriend, already picturing him doing unspeakable things to you. You were so engulfed in your naughty daydreams that you didn’t even notice the guy from the dancefloor approaching you.
“Hey!”
“Oh, hi”, you replied politely.
“I saw you dancing earlier, damn you got moves!”, he complimented you.
“Thanks”, you replied drily.
“So uhm, would you like to have a drink with me?”
“No”, you shook your head.
“Why not?”
“Well, if you saw me dancing earlier you must have seen my boyfriend behind me, right? That’s why.”
“Shit, sorry. I kinda hoped that he was just another guy hitting on you.”
“Far from that.”
“He’s that great, huh?”
“Y/N”, Hyunjin called out angrily while glaring at the other guy.
You were taken aback by his tone, feeling anxious so you followed him without saying a word.
Fumingly, he marched to the car, while you were trying to keep up. Hyunjin placed both of his hands on the cold metal of the vehicle as he was trying to calm himself.
“Jinnie”, you called out softly.
“Don’t fucking call me that, y/n.”
“What?”
He turned around and faced you, his pupils were dilated, and his nostrils flared – he was angry as fuck.
“Don’t fucking call me that when you were flirting with some dickhead behind my back!”
“Are you serious right now?”
“Of course, I am. That bastard was eye-fucking you while we were dancing, and I left you alone for 5 minutes and you were already cozying up to him?”
“Cozying up to him? Cozying up to him? Are you out of your fucking mind?”
“What? I know what I saw!”
“Enlighten me, then. What did you see?”
“I saw you all smiley and giggly, you were practically shooting heart eyes emojis at him! Is that why you hated me giving you hickeys on your collarbone? So, everybody could see you were available?!”
You felt the punch to your stomach, making it harder to breathe. Every single word of his was laced in the most painful accusation, one that you had been familiar with way too often.
“Yeah, you’re right. I was flirting back and shooting heart eyes emojis at him. It was so much fun! And I was damn grateful that my body was free of your damn hickeys!”, you retorted angrily.
Hyunjin was about to explode, not being able to differentiate between your lies and his perceived reality.
Wordless, he turned around and got into the car. You looked at him one last time, hoping that he would come to his senses – but he didn’t. The loud sound of his engine disturbed the quiet of the night and not seconds later he was gone.
What should have been a fun night out for a young couple turned into a vicious disaster. One was crying hiding in the dirty toilet of a club, while the other was crying racing down the highway. Promises of forever love turned into accusations of unfaithfulness, painting your rosy world of adoration into black loneliness.
You had no idea how you made it back home, nor did you care. The following day was torture – you were ruminating over everything, trying to understand what had happened yesterday. Deep sadness filled your whole being. Hyunjin did not call, nor text. He vanished out of your life, just like he vanished into the night air yesterday. Was that it? Was it over?
“Damn, you look like shit. Why are your eyes so puffy?”
Hyunjin pulled the covers over his head, trying to dissolve into thin air.
“Hey, come on. Talk to me”, his friend encouraged him.
“I may have made the biggest mistake of my life yesterday.”
“Oh my god, did you cheat on y/n?”
“What? No. Of course not. I would never do that”, he explained.
“What did you do then?”
“I accused her of cheating on me.”
“Shit, sorry.”
“Don’t be. This was the last time I let my demons take over”, he mumbled as he left his room.
By evening, you felt better – at least good enough to go for a walk and clear your head. Minutes after you left Hyunjin appeared at your door – holding a giant bouquet of flowers in his trembling hands. He rang your door hundreds of times, knocked on it until his knuckles were swollen and called out for you until his throat was sore. But nothing.
Defeated, he slid down to the ground and thought of what to do.
“Y/N, I made a big mistake yesterday. I am so sorry. I should have never accused you of shit like that.”
He was wiping away his tears again, the thought of loosing you made his heart break every single time.
“You see I’m not perfect. Far from it. Yet somehow you seem to think that way. And I just… I just wait for the shoe to drop. For you to finally realize that I’m nothing special.”
“Jinnie”, you called out his name while stopping in front of your apartment. His eyes widened in surprise, immediately followed by relief. “You didn’t open up because you hated me but because you weren’t home…”
“Don’t flatter yourself, hate is on the top of the list right now”, you glared angrily.
He lowered his head in defeat.
“Are those for me?”, you nodded to the bouquet of flowers.
“Yes.”
You opened the door and passed by him. “Put them in a vase, then.”
Surprised, he got up on his feet and followed you inside.
“Can we talk?”
You sat across from him, giving him the cold shoulder.
“Talk.”
“Y/N, I am sorry. Please believe me, I am so sorry. I was seeing things, I let my insecurities win and I accused you of shit you didn’t do. Please, forgive me.”
“What did you think happened there?”
“I saw you guys talking and then I saw red. Like, you were smiling from ear to ear, practically shooting heart eyes emojis at him. I just, I just saw red.”
You sighed deeply, finally understanding where he was coming from.
“You’re right. I was shooting heart eyes emojis at him.”
“What?” Hyunjin’s heart was about to explode.
“But only because I was talking about you, Jinnie. He asked me out for a drink, and I explained to him that I already found the greatest guy on earth. I was gushing over you, like a freaking fan girl.”
“He’s that great, huh?” “Oh my god, yes. He is the greatest. No really, he is great at everything. Dancing, painting, loving? The best. He is also the kindest and loveliest guy I ever met. Always caring for the ones he loves. Never a dull moment with him. He makes me laugh so much. I swear I got abs because of him. And did you see how handsome he is? Fuck me, it’s like God created him himself and brought him to earth, so we could adore him. Fucking masterpiece, that man.” “Okay, okay, I got it”, the guy gave up. “Must be one hell of a lover.” “One hell of a lover. One hell of a soul. My soul, actually.”
“I feel like the biggest idiot right now”, he admitted ashamed.
“Yeah, you should feel like that.”
“I’m sorry, y/nnie. Can you forgive me?”
Silence lingered between the two of you, only for a moment, until you got up and walked over to him. You put your arms around his lean torso and hugged him tightly, willing to put this past you.
Hyunjin’s body finally relaxed, as he hugged you back. His lips landed on the crown of your head, simply resting there, and holding you close.
“Jinnie, wait. There is something else you need to know.”
He released you from his grip and looked at you anxiously.
“What is it?”
“When I was younger, I got bullied for hickeys. My first boyfriend always left them on my neck and the others harassed me for it, calling me slut and all sorts of names. So, it’s true, I don’t like them being visible.”
Hyunjin’s heart broke once more – for one because you had to endure this harassment, but also because he bullied you himself.
“I’m sorry, y/nnie. I won’t do that ever again.”
“Wait, no. I love your hickeys. I love your lips on me, I really do. But can we, maybe, agree to leave hickeys in places only we can see?”, you asked shily.
Hyunjin chuckled and pulled you in for a kiss, promising to do just that.
“I really meant what I said. I can’t imagine my life without you. I really can’t.”
You grabbed his hands and squeezed them, agreeing you felt the same way.          “I feel like we should talk about your insecurities, but I’m drained from last night.”
“Let’s relax for now, baby.”
“What do you want to do?”
Hyunjin’s lips turned upwards, forming the loveliest yet sneakiest smile.
“Okay, fine. I get the popcorn and you switch on the TV. Sex and the city marathon it is”, you rolled your eyes at him teasingly.
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schweety · 4 months
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i've been bitching about the ending non-stop so i sat down and thought about how i would've ended it, so here are my thoughts (unhinged)
first and foremost: hiyori's death
how i would have done it: she had an unique status as an half-ayakashi. a few chaps back, when she was almost sucked into that hole, i wholly believed adachitoka was planning for her to go to the underworld to meet izanami. i'd have loved to see her meet the goddess of death, somehow get the info on how to break the koto no ha (as izanami is surely still mad at father), making a promise to her to bring father to her and then return to the near shore (as she's half-human) to kill father without having to die for the melodrama of it all.
and to make her return to her body, yato'd have had to cut their ties once and for all, making her forget about him (this would have been just as emotional and dramatic as her death!)
second: the whole heaven arc
i would've shown at least SOMETHING about heaven (like a covenant) officially pardoning bishamon and co. and amaterasu announcing that heaven had to change their ways in order to never let anything like this happen again. amaterasu saw first-hand what corruption could lead to and an insight into her mind, her thoughts and learnings all brought to her by yato would've resolved at least some of the loose threads from the heaven arc.
third: god's greatest secret
this wasn't resolved at all by adachitoka. kazuma and yukine have been touched by GGS and lived! nice, but what about the secret as a whole? honestly, all gods should be deadly afraid of them bc of this and not allow their shinkis to hang with them at all lol.
the whole point of GGS was that the painful, regretful death of their past lives would corrupt a shinki. the solution to this whole thing, in my eyes? break the taboo as a whole. not sure how exactly i'd have handled this, but if all shinkis knew their past lives, they could start healing each other together, playing back into the famous quote that ,,only humans can help humans'', which shinki are. ofc, this would need like a whole arc of itself so the ending in the manga is fine, i guess. they just don't rly talk about it lol.
fourth: father
OOOH what wasted potential! he was so complex and then they went ''haha, bad guy go blubblub'' which i honestly don't even mind at all. but i'd have added at least one scene of him meeting izanami back in the underworld, with her wearing kaya's face once again. he'd hear kaya's words ''to let it go'' one last time before he accepts his death and failure, embracing izanami and meeting his end therem eternal limbo. it'd have been a deserved death, bc he was (comically) evil and did terrible things but with some more context and depth to his character (which he always had!).
fifth, yato's lifeline (the most important one)
the literal plotpoint of the manga was yato being recognized as a god by the people. the whole twitter debacle was funny, yeah, but oh so cheap.
i personally would've loved for him to realize, after saving hiyori, that he actually wasn't disappearing at all, making him realize that there were people believing in him (like masaomi). they could've cut back to the little boy with his cat, who still thought about yato as his saviour, or to the girl he saved in chapter 1, who remembered a god that had brought her happiness. he'd have realized that, while bringing calamity, he had also been a god of fortune to them all the time. would've been such a nice, full circle and such a good pointe to this whole lifeline thematic and another realization that father had been lying to him all along. BUT NO. TWITTER SAVED HIM. hsuiahfsdufhudzshf
and lastly, the timeskip:
honestly? i liked this about the chap. showing hiyori as a doctor, her thriving, i was so happy! i would've kept that. also i like the fact that yato hid her diary from her, in order to let her live her life after cutting their ties, peak drama, mwah!
of course, she remembers him, i loved how his name formed on her lips and boom, there he was, on the tree
i would've added a convo, something, anything!!! they haven't talked in yrs (real-time!) so they should've exchanged words, a hug, WHATEVER, accepting their love for each other, accepting that she has to live on on the near shore, as much as it dooms their relationship. some frigging acknowledgment of their feelings for each other, come on!
also, yatorine reunion, before we cut to the end page where hiyori writes in her diary about yato.
the rest? i was fine with. take has a good end, bishamon has a good end, nora especially won! i liked these points but like… everything else i pointed out? too sad we're left with these threads hanging loose, i guess :(
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deityofhearts · 12 days
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cheerleaders 🤝 equestrians (but specifically horse girls): your sport not being taken seriously by other people and being treated like a joke
#deity dialogue#when I was in middle school my computer teacher was also a football coach and would have ‘banter’ with the cheer coach (who was also an#assistant teacher for my math class btw she was so sweet she helped me a lot in class and also made me a bow which was stolen from me :( )#about how ‘football was a real sport and cheerleading wasn’t’ LIKE ARE YOU KIDDING ME#jsut because cheerleaders look cute and are peppy and more often than not girls and women you don’t take anything they do seriously#do you understand the strength and agility and flexibility needed to be a cheerleader do you see the shit they’re doing and you have the#gall not to respect what they do as a sport??? i wasn’t a cheerleader but a few of my friends were and I respect them so much that shit must#have taken so much of everything#obvs I’m not covering the full scale of what it takes to be a cheerleader cause again I wasn’t one but like I’m so pissed whenever people#have the audacity to act like it’s not a serious sport and I’m mad at the same for equestrians as well.#Also generally I hate people who think cheerleaders are inherently awful and bitches like y’all shouldn’t generalize just because some#people in a group are mean or popularly portrayed as mean doesn’t mean it’s true my friends from school were sweet to literally everyone so#can it. this isn’t me like dismissing anyone who’s been bullied by anyone but don’t like assume everyone is terrible thanks bye#it’s the misogyny and we all know it :/ it affects men in the sports as well because if you’re a male cheerleader you’re treated badly and#it’s the misogyny and we all know it
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caramelmochacrow · 1 month
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yk i was working on a post where i tried to guess the next relations event after the kurumi and miiko relations but ig i was gonna be wrong either way bc there wasnt going to be any relations after that lmfao 🥲
#crow talks#d4dj#d4dj groovy mix#lol.....#i'll just say my guess in the tags....#since this is going by unit and we already got a peaky rondo hapiara photon and lyrilily ones the next one wouldve been M4 (RIP M4 fans...)#it seems to me they were saving the really important relationships for the other units or guys we already saw get close so it wouldve been-#(probably) dalia and rika relations or a marika and saori one#bc we know how dalia and rika met (road to d4fes) and their relationship (kinda of) so we might've learned about their older brothers.#something about rika's older brother and how his illness affected younger rika and dalia's brother with how badly he wants to be a chef--#but is struggling bc he has something missing he cant see but his father can.#or maybe we can finally learn more abt rika's savior complex and dalia's self-consciousness about her eyes. maybe those can connect.#marika saori relations..... hmmm. a bit hard but my guess is:#since some of the relations events (of course) build off info from the last one marika might be trying to audition for a role in a film bc-#she told towa abt it and how she wants to be more confident and cool like..... rika.#she kind of opens up to saori about how unconfident she is with acting and saori helps her out by acting with her. kind of gay thing ensues#what im saying is something similar to the aoi and haruna relations but it's another play/movie and both of them gain confidence#that or it would've been marika rika relations and a saori dalia relations hm.#idk is this an interesting relations premise? you tell me.
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m0thisonfire · 11 months
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Todays update:
Depresso espresso. And we can’t ninjastar or devanii hellfrost our way out of this one boys…
I am… seriously considering taking a break from tumblr just for a bit. Mostly because of one person, and it’s just… she stresses me out every time she posts because I don’t know if I have to see her completely dehumanize and demonize my girlfriend again… and again. And again.
It’s tiring. I’ve had a bad month and I’m feeling less inclined to create the more I see of ai stuff and because of my own self doubts.
Ever since she posted those death threats I’ve been irritable and on edge, and now it’s really messing with my mental health that I can’t really do anything about it other than watch… and it’s starting to affect my creative outlets too, and I can’t let that happen.
So for now, if I don’t post anything or reblog, I’m just taking a step back. This and a few other reasons are why I’m just going to… focus on other things for a bit? My writing maybe. I’m genuinely hoping I can get cheery again by next week or the week after that, but man, I am… not good right now.
My ask box will stay open, and ofc I’ll still respond to my mutuals on here. I’ll give my discord too to anyone who asks. I’m hoping that this short depression hit will pass quickly, because I actually like tumblr, reblogging, and sharing my art and writing.
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diegoshargrieves · 7 months
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listening to my parents talk about me is so fucking funny. "she's dealt with us for so long that at this point she's done. she's mentally checked out from having to give a shit about anyone. can you believe how corruptible she is just because she's almost an adult and she thinks that we're not her problem anymore?"
like man you are literally so close. so fucking close.
#no it's not that ive dealt with everyone for my whole life and now im selfish and dont want to give a shit about anyone anymore#its that ive dealt with everyone my entire life ive been an emotional support pillar ive been rotting in this toxic dysfunctional household#ive been a third parent ive stepped in for my dad when he spontaneously decides to be a deadbeat ive supported my mom without fail#whenever shes needed it for years. ive dealt with everyones fits of mania & psychosis & breakdowns & chronic pain & depressive episodes#ive had my mental illness trivialized and belitted and downplayed. im exhausted and traumatized and so fucking burned out#of course it looks like ive given up on everyone from the outside because im struggling !! im struggling mentally and emotionally#and its spilling out in all the wrong ways and they just see it as me letting my anger ruin my character and everyone else around me#they dont care if theres something wrong with me even though im throwing out signs and cries for help literally wherever i can#they just care that theyre affected by it and inconvenienced by my deteriorating mental condition#they think this mentally ill freak is just what i am at this point and they cant stop emotionally blackmailing me#by reminiscing about how i used to be so kind and optimistic. i wish they would just fucking see me for once#ive played the role of the good emotional support eldest daughter my entire life. why didnt they think it would blow up at some point#and when i have tried opening up in moments of severe emotional vulnerability they just throw it back in my face later on#while simultaneously telling me i just need to change my outlook on life because im still young and cant define myself by childish problems#mom you are depressed and anxious you should recognize it better than anyone. you should be able to see it for what it is#instead of telling me to go spend a week volunteering at a cancer hospital so i can go see what real problems exist for people in the world#and what other people are going through and maybe ill come out with a new appreciation for life#mom just bc people are dying of cancer doesnt mean i can't be depressed just bc other people have it worse doesnt mean i cant have it bad#im so fucking tired!#3 am vent post yippee i am going to regret oversharing on the internet so badly when i wake up tmrw
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oedipushansen · 1 year
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since im a musical mood now im gonna talk abt zoe murphy bc i have a lot of feelings abt her
#i think part of why zoe loved evan so much is bc she so badly wanted to feel closer to her brother and by loving and being loved by someone#who connor cared enough for to be best friends w/ while he was still alive she could understand him that way. and maybe she could also feel#as if she was being loved by connor through evan. not to mention how the version of connor evan fabricated cared deeply for zoe#and showed a lot of affection towards her. which for someone like zoe whos been completely detached from her brother for so long must mean#So Much. and like. i think its pretty obvious just how ignored and overlooked zoe is by her family and probably also by her peers to a#certain extent. so someone recognizing her and loving all these little parts of her mentioned by evan in iicth would really touch her#and that someone being Connor... i can see why she would be so quick to forgive evan for kissing her out of nowhere#of course i do think that zoe Does love evan himself genuinely bc of what was said in only us and also bc zoe finally has someone of her own#(and that feeling is mutual bc evan pretty much sees zoe as an outlet to project all his desires onto.)#to quote that one abf essay quote ‘u give so much of urself to other ppl but zoe is just for you’#that might not be the exact quote but like. u get the gist. and i think evans genuine affection towards zoe makes her start to feel the same#way abt him. they can allow themselves to be selfish with each other. they’re just For each other no one else#anyway. back to the siblings. i think the whole concept of deh and also everything evan and zoe’s relationship is built on definitely has#like. some Questionable implications abt connor and zoe’s relationship or at least abt zoe’s feelings for connor. and her feelings for evan#-by extension.#i could literally just be spewing nonsense and my take makes no sense but like. it makes sense to Me and it drives me insane#txt
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welcome to a new episode of "crisis", today about researching inattentive adhd and trying to find out whether you're being rational or trying to find excuses-
#like i literally cannot tell if i just desperately try to fit into those symptoms so i can research a lil more#or even talk to my parents about it (i mean my mum already suggested maybe seeing a psychologist or sumn?)#or if im just having problems bc information comes really easily to me so i never had to learn to Learn shit so now idk how to study#and i just need more self discipline. and tryna find excuses#im looking at these Common Symptoms and im simulataneously hoping to find myself in there and also hoping so badly that not#welcome to the new struggle in a bonus episode: do neurotypical ppl think so hard abt this? is it just puberty?? Am I Neurotypical???#i cannot tell and its currently driving me mad im sorry#i just need to vent somewhere#a biscuit's rambles#and i dont think my irls would get it#like i SAID i dont wanna self diagnose and just look that places for solutions to my problems but. BUT#idfk anymore#or with stimming. i think im doing that? but idk if ive just let my impulses take over bc Tumblr Influence (it rly does affect my mindset)#or if its like. idk. you know what i mean#CANT THERE BE AN EASY WAY TO KNOW IF YOURE ND OR NOT???#i just. i just wanna know. FUCK now im way too deep into this shit again#these tags are so fucking long lmao#help :')#ANYWAY dyknow how i got back into this crisis? fanfic blorbo with adhd got to me LMAO#anyway. sorry to everyone who had to see this#im just a confused something#also please make puberty illegal i cannot tell what im feeling anymore ever
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tokyoteddywolf · 3 days
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It sucks so much once you realize how entwined someone is in your life, then it just sucks more when you have to scrub away the traces it existed. That it was there, and it was good, until it wasn't anymore.
(Ignore my angry venting it's 3am I'm cranky and want chocolate.)
#vent#i feel like my hands are soaked in blood that soap cant clean#'blood is thicker than water' they say but that just makes it all the harder to scrub away once it goes bad#i loved you so much and i still do but now everything is just bitter and rotting and i hate it so much#and im just ranting to myself about how unfair it is that im doing so much better but i still miss what i had#that it wasnt your fault i didnt get help sooner- i believed so badly that i didnt deserve help.#that if i just waited long enough id rot away and be done with it all.#and i never got to say 'thank you for loving me when i couldnt love myself' at the worst time of my life.#you tried to help me. i can appreciate that#but i can be bitter that you still abandoned me. i have that right. i am going to be better and do better but you dont get to have that.#im still learning how to be a proper human. one that can learn to love herself and not distrust any form of affection.#but im going to do that on my own and when im better i hope you see it. i really hope you do.#you both still abandoned me though so fuck you both for that. im not gonna be nice about it anymore.#i didnt wanna hurt feelings even though mine were CONSTANTLY trampled over. so yeah. fuck you. that feels good to say.#fuck you for never apologizing. fuck you for abandoning me in a city i had no place else to go in. fuck you for giving me false hope.#fuck you for making promises you couldnt keep. fuck you for all the times i felt alone or excluded or just plain unwanted.#fuck you for constantly picking each other over me. fuck you for all the times i had to swallow how i felt because it was 'mean'.#fuck you for making your love conditional. fuck you for never even trying to understand how i felt. fuck you for taking years of my life.#and mostly just- fuck you for making me think i was worth it.#i felt like i had to do all the work in that friendship. starting convos and game days and INTERACTING.#the friends i have now dont do that shit. they COMMUNICATE WITH ME. Fuck you for that too by the way! not communicating!#rant over. fuck you. im gonna sleep now knowing you wont see this cuz ya BLOCKED ME.
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insanechayne · 3 months
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~ ~ ~
#I opened this app and saw I had a notification#and even though deep down I knew it wouldn’t be from you there was still that part of me that really hoped it would be#in that moment I was so desperate for it to be you and the fact that it wasn’t…#why did you have to do this to me? why did you have to hurt me this badly?#after everything that happened and everything we’ve said to each other and been through together#after everything you did to me you had to go and make it so much worse#some part of me just wants you back because I still can’t picture my life without you in it#another part of me just wants to scream at you for all you took from me#I don’t know what I did to deserve this when all I did was love you and care about you#I know I was hard to handle sometimes and I pushed you and made you angry and that was never my intention#I know I let my anxieties get the better of me so often and then placed that burden on you to reassure me#please just come back and talk to me#let’s hash it out together and then at the end you can leave if you want#but just not like this because the way you’ve done things here isn’t fair and it’s agony#I never would have taken your voice away#I never would have just deleted my account without a second thought of how you’d feel afterwards#I know I couldn’t be what you wanted but can you just come back and give me one more day to make things right?#I know you’ll never see this but God I hope some part of you can feel my desperation and my begging#we were always so connected in such weird ways and I can’t believe you wouldn’t be affected by this in some way#please just come back#please#personal
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kn11ves · 5 months
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being in this criminal justice class is fun because i like it but i often times really have to control myself because i fell into this formed friend group because my actual friend in that class is very sweet so she makes friends with everyone and i want to make things smooth i dont want to make things awkward, but its very hard to control my temper when i have to discuss why inmates deserve to be rightfully and fully compensated for the work they do in prison, with white people. the way i had to state "Well we dont want slavery here right"
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mrfoox · 11 months
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For someone whos the most embarrassed person around, I sure say SO MUCH SHIT
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obaex · 2 months
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(not) my girl - rafe cameron
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summary: if rafe cameron is so sure he doesn't need to be seen with you at midsummers, you are more than happy to oblige (or) the time you drove rafe insane with jealousy.
word count: 3.4k
a/n: inspired by this post by the sweet @writingsbychlo ♡
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You were curled up on Rafe’s lap, head resting on his shoulder with his arms circled around you and his fingers mindlessly tracing patterns on your thigh as he talked with his friends around the firepit in his backyard.
You had been hooking up for a few months and recently you felt like you were right on the cusp of him asking you to make things official, exclusive. You were spending nearly every night together and every time he asked to talk or wanted to hang out you got your hopes up that this would be the time he brought it up, only to be crushed over and over again.
Deep down, you knew how Rafe felt. People who were ‘just hooking up’ didn’t beg you to stay every morning, didn’t make room in their dresser for you, didn’t wake you up with featherlight kisses to your cheeks, your forehead, your nose, face breaking into a ridiculous smile when your eyes fluttered open to find his drinking you in, they didn’t call you during a panic attack after fighting with their dad, pleading to hear your voice as the only thing that would calm them down. No, you were pretty sure you knew exactly how this boy felt, but you wanted him to acknowledge it. You ached to hear him say with pride ‘that’s my girl’, to mark you as his own.
Your eyes flitted across the fire to your best friend Olivia who wiggled her eyebrows at the sight of you and Rafe together, all too aware of the situationship you were in and how badly you wanted him. You blushed and rolled your eyes back at her, just trying to enjoy this small moment where he showed his affection for you in front of other people. She winked at you before interrupting the conversation.
“Sooo, who is everyone taking to Midsummers?”
You shot her a look that screamed what the hell are you doing!? You were still holding out hope that Rafe was going to ask you, even though it was less than a week away. Maybe he had an elaborate, last-minute surprise planned?
“Feel pretty good about my date” Kelce murmured, pressing a kiss to Olivia’s cheek as she giggled. “What about you Top, still intent on macking on Rafe’s sister?” he asked. Topper threw an empty beer can at him as everyone laughed.
“I don’t know why we even bother with dates” Rafe said. “We’re just gonna dick around together all night anyway, there’s no point.” He took a swig of his beer without meeting your gaze. You felt your cheeks warm in embarrassment and a painful ache in your throat as you tried to hold back the tears that threatened to spring forward. You met Olivia’s gaze again and she nodded encouragingly towards Rafe.
“W-what about me, Cameron?” you asked, trying to mask your feelings, to sound chill as you poked him in the side.
He looked at you sweetly, “C’mon and say what when my dad asks about you? ‘Hey dad, here’s the girl I’ve been sneaking through the back door every night and smashing while you and Rose are three doors down? Hard pass.” He laughed, focusing back on his beer and his friends as you felt his hand slide off your leg.
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You allowed yourself to be genuinely upset for three days.
You didn’t sleep at Tanneyhill for the first time in months, you didn’t even answer his texts which grew increasingly more insistent the more you ignored them. You stayed home, you cried, and you contemplated what the fuck you were doing with your life. Was that really all you were to him – just someone he was sneaking around with? Did you somehow become that girl, too naïve and too stupid to see that she wasn’t and would never be anything more than a hookup?
You thought about the way Rafe reached for you and held you in his sleep, the way his hands ghosted over your body, the things he’d whisper in your ear, the times you’d ridden shotgun in his truck or he’d taken you to his favorite spot on the beach… Your heart was so sure about him, but your head throbbed with the echo of his words.
You and Olivia talked incessantly about it, dissecting everything he’d said. “Maybe he just needs a little push, a little… motivation?” she suggested, and the more you talked about it, the more you realized she was right.
If Rafe Cameron was so sure he didn’t need to be seen with you at Midsummers, you were more than happy to oblige.
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The last of the hot summer sun was settling over the ocean as you climbed the front steps of the Island Club in daring three-inch heels; the added height gave your figure a perfect sway that simply begged people to watch you as you walked by. Your dress had a thigh-high slit, open back, and was the perfect color for your skin tone, illuminating you; the neckline was devilishly tantalizing, giving the desired effect of drawing all eyes to the dazzling diamond pendant that reflected the setting sun.
Rafe heard you before he saw you; rather, he heard a sea of murmurs rippling through the crowd which drew his attention to the doors just as you walked through by yourself, essentially announcing to the island that you were alone for the night.
“Geezus” he heard Topper mutter under his breath as he took you in. Normally, he would have known better and normally Rafe would have put his head through a wall for glaring at you the way he was, but even though his fists clenched in response and he wanted to turn and say something to him, he simply couldn’t take his eyes off of you; “Geezus” didn’t even begin to cover it.
You were always undeniably beautiful to Rafe: when you wore his oversized sweatshirt around the fire pit, when you were makeup-less in your wet bikini at the beach, and especially when you were wearing next to nothing tangled up in his limbs and his soft sheets, but the dress you had on, the way your hair shone in the last rays of the sun, the way you were positively radiating had his pulse throbbing in his neck, his adam’s apple bobbing and his palms sweating. Fuck, I am so happy she’s mine he thought to himself, smiling and moving to walk towards you as your eyes met his across the crowd.
You were glowing at him and sent him a discreet smile as you greeted people and made your way in his direction. He couldn’t wait to get his hands on you, to have you at his side so everyone knew you were his. You approached your friends, dropping a kiss on Topper and Kelce’s cheeks before doing the same to Rafe. You made to move past him quickly, intent on talking to Olivia when he grabbed your hand.
“Hey, hold up you-you look…” he started to say, trying and struggling to find the words to capture the way his heart was pounding in his chest.
Your wide eyes met his expectantly and just when he opened his mouth to speak, they flitted over his shoulder.
“Oh! Sorry, Rafey! Just saw someone I want to catch up with, I’ll see you later” and without another word you walked away, leaving Rafe Cameron, the King of Kildare staring and stuttering after you.
You were walking away from him? he thought. You had seemed so adamant about this whole Midsummers thing, dropping hints about going together and now here he was, practically ready to get down on one knee at the sight of you, and you were walking away from him? He was speechless. He turned to watch you go… right into the arms of another man. He looked to be about your age, the same height and a similar build as Rafe, because of course Rafe was sizing him up, how could he not? This guy had his paws all over his girl. And then, after a moment’s realization, he thought darkly, she’s not your girl…
You had greeted this guy with a huge hug, and he’d nearly lifted you off the ground, now he had your full attention and you were laughing at something he said, the most sweet and perfect sound that Rafe wanted only for himself.
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As everyone took their seat for dinner, you intentionally positioned yourself across the table from Rafe. The slight of not sitting next to him where he could run his fingers up your thigh or tangle them in your own left him fidgeting instead, buttoning and unbuttoning his jacket and swirling his drink. What the fuck did I used to do with my hands? he thought angrily.
You paid him no mind, instead, leaning forward on your elbows and toying with the diamond pendant around your neck, fingering it, twirling it and sliding it back and forth on its chain.
“Holy DIAMOND, girl!” Olivia said as she took note of your necklace and leaned over to get a closer look. “Is it new, where is it from?” her eyes shot from you to Rafe and back again.
He glared at you both over the rim of his glass as he took a deep gulp, trying to act unphased but also extremely curious to hear your answer knowing damn well it wasn’t from him.
Your eyes flitted to Rafe briefly before you leaned towards Olivia, lowering your voice, but not so low that he couldn’t hear you. “It was… a gift from… someone special” you said winking conspiratorially at her.
Rafe choked on his drink just as someone was standing up at the front of the crowd to make a speech, shifting everyone’s attention and interrupting the slew of words that nearly poured out of his mouth.
Who the fuck on Kildare fucking Island was buying his girl jewelry? he thought. And then, again, he reminded himself, she’s not your girl… the thought making his whole body tense, rigid and taught in anger and frustration.
For the next 20 minutes, all he could do was stare at you as you twiddled that ridiculous necklace in your fingers, imagining what it would be like to rip it off of you and replace it with something twice as nice. He was mentally calculating how much he would spend and how quickly he could get it when JJ Maybank passed by their table. Rafe had a snarky comment on the tip of his tongue until he watched JJ do a double take at you and stop in his tracks.
Don’t do it, Maybank, Rafe thought. Don’t you dare do it.
He watched JJ eye you and the distance between you and Rafe and, deeming it safe, peddled back, pulling a glass of champagne off his tray and handing it to you with a flourish. He knelt down next to your seat and when you turned to talk to him, it left JJ perfectly eye level with your cleavage. He was whispering something to you and you rested your hand on his bicep as you leaned forward to hear him. Rafe could see you blushing, and he watched Maybank take in every greedy eyeful of you. Rafe stood up so abruptly, it knocked his chair over and rattled the plates on the table. Everyone looked up at him, including you, and for the first time that night he had your full attention as your eyes widened at his reaction.
“YN, inside, let’s go” he said simply, walking to your side of the table.
You raised an eyebrow at him and his demanding tone.
“And Maybank if you don’t stop staring at her tits, I will put your face through this table.”
JJ quickly stood up and backed away with his hands raised in surrender as Rafe approached you.
“Rafe we were just—” you started.
“— Inside. Now” he said, taking you forcefully by the arm and leading you inside and into the locker room.
“Rafe! Come on! Stop it! I want to spend the night with my friends, I don’t know what you possibly have to be mad at” you said in resistance.
And that was the very last straw for him.
“WHAT I HAVE TO BE MAD AT?!” he said, incredulous, nearly shouting. “Where do I even begin with you!? You blow me off all week, then you waltz in here looking like an absolute bombshell, wearing next to nothing – I swear to God, I’ve seen you in bikinis with more material - every guy here is leering at you. Then you’re talking to that jackass who had his hands all over you…” he said, exasperated.
At this point he was pacing, his voice continuing to rise in anger and frustration. “…And then Maybank?! Maybank of all people?! He was flirting with you right in front of me. Was it to make me jealous? Is that what this is all about? Because I’m about to lose my fucking mind YN” he said running his hands through his hair, giving you sick pleasure knowing it took him probably an hour to style it. A surprised if not amused look rested on your face as you continued to twirl your necklace in your fingers.
“And who the fuck gave you that” he pointed accusingly at the diamond in your hand, not giving you a single second to respond, “No. Absolutely not. Take it off. Right now” he said, walking briskly towards you in an effort to do it himself.
You held out a hand to stop him.
“I don’t know what the big deal is Rafe” you said innocently. “What difference does it make? I’m just the girl you’re sneaking through your back door every night to smash” you shrugged, your eyes burning at him.
His eyes widened as he heard his own words on your lips.
“No, that’s – that’s not – I didn’t mean” he stuttered.
You gave him a vicious look as you watched the gears turn in his head and he tried to string a sentence together.
“Look, I didn’t mean it like that – I shouldn’t have – what I meant was – ahh, fuck it” he said, taking a step forward and closing the distance between you in an instant, one hand holding your face firmly as he pushed you against the lockers and the other coming to rest on the wall beside you, caging you in against him as he pressed his lips bruisingly to yours, devouring you, just like he’d wanted to do all night.
You wanted to stay strong, to argue, to tell him he wasn’t going to win you over like this. But he was. He so so was as he deepened the kiss almost instantly and the pad of his thumb ran across your cheek sending a shiver through your body. When he finally felt you relent and kiss him back, winding your arms around his neck and pulling yourself flush to him he let out a small groan that almost made you forget the whole point of tonight. Almost.
You pulled back, leaving not even an inch between you. The feeling of you kissing him had calmed him down significantly. His breathing had slowed but his cheeks were still flushed and his hair was mussed. He lingered there, his nose brushing yours as he stroked your cheek.
“You’re my girl” he whispered finally.
“Are you asking or telling?” you whispered back.
“Do I really need to ask, princess?” he said, meeting your gaze with his own.
You raised an eyebrow at him threateningly.
He rolled his eyes and said in a sigh, “Be mine?”
You bit your bottom lip and pretended to think about it. “Gosh, I don’t know” you said, pressing a slow kiss to his lips “M’might have to think about it” you said, pressing another kiss there, lingering longer “Mm’might need some convincing” you said, kissing him again and running your hands up his chest.
His voice was low but steady, “I will take you home right now and convince you as many times as you need me to” he said, kissing you back through a smile.
“Deal” you replied sweetly.
You moved to leave but he didn’t let you go and when you met his gaze, his brow was furrowed, his eyes searching yours. “I am serious though, about this, about you” he said. “I’m sorry I fucked up.” He looked uncharacteristically bashful, unsure even. “Really, are you mine?” he whispered.
“Yes, Rafe,” you said as your heart fluttered in your chest “All yours.”
He smiled stupidly, so far gone for you as he kissed you again. You were completely lost in the moment until he muttered against you, “Then please for the love of God will you take that necklace off and tell me who in the hell thought they could buy you something like that?”
You met his eyes strongly, the last embers of your pain crackling there.
“No” you said simply, continuing quickly when he tried to interrupt you. “I’m going to keep it and wear it whenever I damn well please to remind you of what you have and what you sure as hell want don’t want to lose.”
He looked genuinely shocked to hear you challenge him like that and you could see a tic in his jaw as he worked it back and forth in anger.
“I… hate that” he growled. “What if I buy you something nicer?”
You shrugged noncommittally and he shook his head at you. “Fine, let’s get out of here, that dress is killing me and I have a lot of convincing I want to do to you right now.” You giggled as he grabbed your hand and led you back outside, pressing a kiss to the side of your head.
When you rejoined the party there were a few murmurs and glances as you hung off his arm. Were you imagining it, or was he taking the long way back to your table, intentionally parading you around the patio and staring daggers at anyone whose gaze lingered too long? Being seen together at Midsummers was basically shouting from the rooftops that you were official. You were glowing, he was too. You said goodbye to your friends and within minutes you were in his truck headed back to Tanneyhill, his hand rubbing circles higher and higher on your thigh, your fingers in his hair.
He threw the car in park and scooped you over his shoulder, carrying you all the way upstairs like that, which had you shrieking in delight. He didn’t set you down until you were in his room and he kissed you feverishly, his hands cupping your face, before his fingers traced your neck, nearing your necklace.
“Rafe” you muttered against his lips, a warning.
“Just tell me who” he muttered back, unable to let it go and kissing you deeper in the hopes of convincing you. “I’m already gonna to buy you a new one, you’ll never wear this again, but I need to know. Can’t stop thinking about someone else with their hands on you” he said as he guided you backwards towards his bed, pushing you gently onto his comforter and crawling on top of you.
“I don’t like it. I do not fucking like it” he growled against your lips. Under his anger, you detected a hint of vulnerability and you broke your kiss just long enough to look into his eyes, which gazed longingly at you as they searched your face. Perhaps you had tortured this poor boy enough.
You sighed, relenting.
“Olivia” you said.
He looked at you, completely confused for only a moment before the realization dawned on his face and he hung his head.
“There isn’t anyone else” he said in equal parts relief, frustration and embarrassment.
You shook your head at him.
“God I’m so fucking stupid” he said.
You giggled before reaching behind your neck to unclasp the necklace and toss it on his bedside table.
He looked at you with heat and tenderness, “I’m sorry that’s what it took for me to get my shit together. I wish it all happened differently, but I don’t regret it. You’re it for me, YN, no one else.”
He placed a kiss beneath your ear, to your throat, to your bare collarbone. “My girl” he whispered against your skin, enjoying how it felt on his tongue and the sound of your sweet laughter in response.
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taglist: @ietss, @gillybear17, @palmwinemami, @moremaybank, @one-sweet-gubler, @m-indkiller, @diary-of-jj, @crlsummer, @jjsbank444
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Today my coworker I hate sooo much said “rum is the drink of your people to the intern” and both me and the intern repeated HIS/MY PEOPLE??? and then the boy clarified that he meant Hawaii and hmm did you tho 🤔🤔
#also I complained about a PROVEN racist thing#unintentional to some degree#but doesn’t change the fact that it STILL affects the program to a great degree cause things haven’t changed in 50 years .-.#and he started talking about how he’s from someplace people think there are only racists but#he doesn’t care if u just speak in grunts as long as u can do the job#and hmmm I wanna punch him in his smug stupid little face soooo badly svery single fucking day#I was at my desk at 8:01 instead of 8:00#and so he made me wait 15 min#for a meeting meant to benefit HIM#and woooow it reminded me just why I hate him so much#I am trying. so hard with this boy#and it’s making things Worse#however :))) did have a Great time watching him seethe because my friend is doing the COOLEST shit#and unlike him. she’s actually charming and not easy to see right through#so she’s making Friend Friends with some powerful ass people and I’m so proud of her and I told him about it and just watched him. Seethe.#and then start talking about how he was supposed to start stuff. yeah buddy! u sure were! maybe if you didn’t suck.#I didn’t tell him I’m starting to go on his path yet. that’s gonna be a fun little suprise for him#my ultimate goal. would be to pass him in the flow#that would KILL HIM#but I can wait. for him to self destruct#delete later#sometimes coworkers are the most annoying people in the world#also so so so so proud and also pretty envious of my friend#not too envious because I just. don’t have the qualifications to do what she’s doing NOR the charm to make Friends the way she does#but holy SHIT LEAH HOW DO U GET SOMEONE THAT IMPORTANT TO PROMISE YOU A (redacted) RIDE WITHIN FIVE MINUTES OF MEETING THEM#like it’s incredibly on brand for her. cause she’s INSANELY charming and literally her superpower is Making Friends but WOW. I wanna be her#when I grow up. we joke about getting on that plane all the time. and I had a Feeling she’d do it by the end of the week. but five min.#at the start of the class. this girl could convince a room full of republicans to ban guns#she tries it with me sometimes. and I’m a very gullible individual but I Know her so it doesn’t work. most of the time.#she just fucking. turns up the charm. but if I’m annoyed enough at her it doesn’t work and she’s realized that so she does it less with me
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imasimpforshanks · 6 months
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how they react when you randomly say “im so lucky to have you”
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ft. luffy, law, zoro, sanji, ace, shanks
a/n: idk what this is but I thought of it! And it’s been a while since I’ve written headcanons/imagines like this so this is kinda weird and badly written this time LOL
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with a giant grin plastered across his face, luffy’s response is instant and genuine, “im so lucky to have you too!” he laughs boisterous and bright as he continues, “that’s perfect isn’t it? im lucky to have you and you’re lucky to have me! we sure do make a great team.” you can’t help the way your body shakes with warm laughter at his sincerity.
there’s a moment of silence as law gathers himself. you think he didn’t hear you but then he coughs to break the silence and gain your attention. the tips of his ears are pink and he’s avoiding eye contact with you as he mumble his response, “yeah well, thanks for putting up with me.”
zoro pauses briefly turning to look at you with mild surprise. but before he’s even had time to fully process your remark, he finds his lips quirking into a smirk as you add on “i mean you are a bit of a moron, but you’re MY moron, ya know?” and with that he’s laughing the most he has in a while (but you’ve always had that affect on him, always made him feel things he didn’t think was possible), “you took the words right out of my mouth, dumbass.”
“my love,” sanji exclaims, “it’s me who should be considered the lucky one!” he gently reaches for your hand to bring it to his lips. he places a delicate kiss to each of your knuckles before continuing his sentiment, “i get to see your wonderful face and spend time with you each day. it’s far more than i am worthy of!” but then your eyebrows knit together and your lips are being pulled into a pout and sanji feels his love for you grow tenfold as you object to his statement, “you deserve all my love and affection!” and sanji concedes immediately because your word is law.
wordlessly, ace pulls you into a tight embrace, burying his face in the crook of your neck. “you okay?” you ask, and the concern in your voice is enough to make his heart melt. “yeah, can we just stay like this for a little.” he whispers into your skin. you nod, understanding his need for this reassurance, “i mean it though, i really am lucky to have you.” and as you slowly run your fingers through his hair, ace whispers “i really really love you.”
a cheeky grin sneaks across shanks’ face “you sure are! i am pretty funny, sexy, caring, and intelligent.” you snort at his expected response, “not to mention humble.” he gasps in faux shock, “of course! how could I forget humble?!” as you burst into a fit of laughter so beautifully unrestrained shanks can’t help but think that out of the two of you, he is, most certainly, the lucky one.
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