#you can't prove this didn't happen

[swan2swan]

Non-canon (unless you want it to be) short from Mattel and Jurassic World!

While exploring an abandoned barn, Yaz finds that it might not be as abandoned as she presumed...

[softquietsteadylove]

Love your stories. Was wondering about a story where Thena and Gil get a pet.

"No."

"But-"

"We have enough at home," Gil sighed, pulling Thena's hand into his in an attempt to lure her away from the lizard display. "Why did we even come here if you were only going to look at the lizards? We could've just walked into the garden at home."

"But this one is different," Thena countered, pointing over her shoulder to the bearded dragon who seemed just as distraught to be separated from her.

"I have enough lizard peelings to sweep up already, thank you," Gil chuckled, smiling as Thena at least matched his pace to walk beside him. "Isn't there anything else you'd consider?"

Thena stayed quiet, looking around at the various displays.

"What about a dog?" Gil suggested, pointing to the Australian Shepherds garnering by far the most attention. "You could take it hunting with you."

"An animal will only slow me down," Thena countered easily, and of course, she did have a point. She was faster and stronger than any mortal animal, and a mid size dog was probably not meant to be out hunting ostriches with the Goddess of War.

"We could get a bird," Gil tried again, pointing out the conures perched prettily in their cage. "They live a really long time."

"Gil," Thena sighed, but gave up her next argument at the look on his face.

He had suggested getting them a pet because he worried about having to leave her alone when he went to the market, and especially since he'd started going out further to other trading posts. They'd been in Australia long enough now that people were starting to recognise and get suspicious of Gil's completely unchanged appearance (handsomeness).

Thena could concede that perhaps some company wouldn't be the worst thing for her when he was travelling to other towns. Gil was mostly worried about her being lonely.

"You are only ever gone a day, Gilgamesh," she would chide him and his sensitivity.

"I still miss you," he would pout his lips at her cutely. "Don't you miss me when I'm gone?"

Like she could rip open her chest and hand him her heart to take with him. But she wasn't going to let that stop him.

"What about a guinea pig?--they come in two's!" Gil beamed at the squeaking little monsters. He pointed out specifically two cuddling together, one with a black coat of fur and the other so lightly blonde it was almost sheer white. "They're like us!"

"No."

"Thena," he chuckled, moving his hand from hers so he could pull her closer by the waist. He nestled his lips next to her ear, "I'm not leaving here empty handed, so find something, Sweetheart."

Thena nodded with a sigh. This was more for Gilgamesh than for her--if she thought about it that way it would be easier. She ran through the animals she would consider, although admittedly even if they weren't lizards they were still mostly reptilian. "Gil?"

"Gilgamesh?"

He was slowing to a stop, craning his neck to look at the kittens in their little enclosure.

"Stars above, help me," Thena sighed as she followed him over to the display of feline abominations. She glared down at the little mongrels. "Why are you so enchanted by these quadrupeds?"

"Oh, come on," he dismissed her grouching easily, looking down at the little cuties. "They're sweet."

Thena disagreed. She thought they were far too smart a creature to be as domesticated as they let humans believe. And they demanded the same attention as canines did, if not more so, only without the obedience to be sent away.

Gil had ooey-gooey eyes.

Thena sighed again, leaning over his shoulder as he held his hand out. The tiniest of all the kittens scrambled up into his palm, pressing low as Gil lifted it up. "You really want a feline?"

Gil said nothing, holding the kitten up for Thena to examine for herself. The kitten was white, fluffy, had massive ears ears it would have to grow into and big green eyes.

Thena had to admit, it was not as unpleasant as some cats she had encountered. She looked past those eyes at Gilgamesh, "this one?"

Gil's big, ooey-gooey eyes glittered at her. "He looks like you!"

Thena tried not to be insulted by that. She looked at the cat again, who took a cautious step towards her. She leaned in closer, hearing the soft purring it began emanating from its body. "Fine."

Gil lit up. "Really?"

Thena blushed, unable to look directly at him as if the sun were in her eyes. "Yes, but I will not tolerate having to compete with this thing for run of my own home."

Gil just chuckled. Thena didn't like that cats weren't afraid of her. He held out his hand, "you should hold him on the way home."

"Gil-" Thena blinked as he deposited the cat into her - very dangerous - hands without a second thought. The kitten attempted to balance itself in its newer and smaller platform of dwelling. She turned her hands to look at it. "Hello."

"Mew!"

Gil held back his laughter at the sight of the Goddess of War with ooey-gooey eyes.

[roostercrowned]

what blooms on Aslevjal My Winterfest gift for aravendown on AO3! The request was anything with these two, with Winterfest fluff and hurt/comfort as potential jumping-off points. This may not be set in actual winter, but they're bundled up and it's cold, right? The flowers are tufted saxifrage, and yes I did research to pick something that could plausibly be found on a glacial island. I was so relieved when I double-checked the text to confirm that they did indeed do the Aslevjal quest in summer. Sometimes I forget everything but how much I freaking cried through this book. spiritually I am holding hands with everyone else who hoped that Fitz would ever make up for the bit with the flowers. Happy Winterfest (.:

[fisheito]

my princess nonsense is being encouraged watch ouyt imabout to be eneaabled

OK WHATF ATHAT'S SO CUTE I HAD TO MAKE IT i know realistically there's little to no chance that rei DOESN'T know how to work heels 🤣 BUT IMAGINE.....ING.... YAKUMO GENTLY GUIDING REI IN HEELS, WEEKS BEFORE THE BIG GALA AND HAVING NONE OF HIS NORMAL FEAR OF PHYSICAL TOUCH BC HIS [TEACHER MODE] IS OVERRIDING HIS INSECURITY

[wesavegotham]

Look, I agree that Tim is being mishandled by DC, they clearly don't know what to do with him and what they do isn't working/selling.

But that is not the same as being hated by DC. DC doesn't hate Tim. If you listen to some interviews you realize pretty fast he's most current writers favorite Robin because they grew up with him.

I don't think any of the writers who tried to do something with Tim these past few years hated Tim and wanted to ruin him. Their direction for Tim just simply didn't connect with Tim's (comic buying) fanbase.

That's not the same as DC shooting Dick in the head and letting him run around as Ric for...was it two years? It's not the same as Jason being treated as a mistake who is constantly unfairly blamed for his own death. It's not the same as Cass being turned into a dragon lady so Tim would have a villain to fight. It's not the same as DC character assassinating Damian because they wanted to kick him out of the Robin mantle and use as the big bad of 5G.

Tim hasn't been selling for years yet they keep trying to make him work. They aren't succeeding, but that doesn't mean they hate him. I think it means they love him.

Because at the end of the day DC is a business and yet they keep trying to make Tim work even if he doesn't sell while they have no problem sabotaging a character like Damian even though he's selling more comics than Tim.

Trying to make Tim work is not a rational financial decision, it's a decision born out of love and nostalgia.

[lilypadpanda]

Rescue Mission

[crystalkitty1220]

Man I wonder where the leader of the fear realm could've gone, it's alMOST LIKE NEVIN HAS AN

[shadowmaat]

Beware the Archivist's Wrath

*sigh* Yes, I got bit by my own plot bunny, so here's a fuller background for almost-Archivist Obi-Wan.

-

Obi-Wan Kenobi was a bright young student of the Jedi Order. A number of Masters had their eye on him as he grew closer to the age of apprenticeship. Those eyes, however, turned firmly elsewhere when it became apparent that Jocasta Nu had taken an interest in Young Kenobi.

He was a frequent visitor to the Archives, even beyond the supervised outings of the creches. He was quiet (at least within the Archive itself), polite, and above all, curious. He soaked up knowledge like a sponge and if there was one thing the Master Archivist of the Order appreciated, it was a keen mind with a willingness to learn.

She took him under her wing, cultivating his curiosity and nudging him toward the materials that would ease his way on the path to becoming an archivist himself. He'd be a worthy successor to her.

Or he would have been.

Qui-Gon Jinn had always had a rebellious streak, but while it was occasionally amusing to see him butt heads with the Council, it stopped being funny when he ignored all the warnings- subtle and not- and asked Obi-Wan to be his padawan.

If Jocasta had been there, she would have stopped it, but the wily bastard had cornered poor young Obi-Wan well away from the safe environs of the Archives. By the time she learned of it, from Obi-Wan himself, it was too late.

The long-haired terror of the Order had turned the boy's head with ridiculous tales of derring-do; saving worlds, ending conflicts, and helping the innocent. All noble tasks, of course, but also things that could be accomplished with a good archive.

She couldn't blame him, of course; she'd had plenty of her own wild ideas about saving the universe when she was his age. She could, however, blame Qui-Gon Jinn, a man who should have known better but who'd clearly had the sense knocked out of him at some point in his misadventures.

Obi-Wan remained an occasional visitor to the Archives, when his schedule permitted, and Jocasta welcomed him with open arms. She did her best to put her disappointment over might-have-beens aside and focus on preparing him for the life he'd chosen; goodness knew Jinn couldn't be counted on for that.

From that day forward, Qui-Gon Jinn was persona non grata in the Archives. He was unwelcome within her walls and she made sure he knew it. Any requests for materials that he put in became lost or conveniently misfiled. Books and data crystals that he wanted had a habit of being unavailable or having a long waiting list. She had an entire archive full of names and could damn well use them to suit her purposes.

Should he somehow manage to acquire Archive material, she counted down to the milisecond it was due and then hunted him down, demanding its return and levying steep fines against him. Force forbid the book have any smudges, crinkled pages, or other blemishes (even ones that had pre-existed Jinn's loan).

At one point the man actually went before the Council to complain, asking them to intervene in his "difficulties." The Council, unlike Jinn, were not fools and refused to get involved. Word did, however, get back to her, and she made sure that her displeasure over his attempted subterfuge was well known.

One unfortunate fact was that Jinn liked to publish the occasional paper or treatise and Jocasta was obligated to house copies of them. Fortunately for her, the Archives were a large and labyrinthine space within the Temple. And much like the Temple itself, parts of it were difficult to reach, had fallen into disrepair, and in the words of one young Junior Archivist, "smelled weird."

Important works were never held in such locations, of course, but for Qui-Gonn Jinn? Room could be found. Damp rooms in remote areas infested with bugs, cobwebs, and a lack of adequate lighting.

Master Dooku, who had once been a friend of hers, found her "war" with his former Padawan to be highly amusing and attempted to tweak her proverbial tail by requesting Jinn's latest papers.

After being "accidentally" locked in a room for a day with only an ancient torch and a host of curious spiders for company, he learned his lesson and even had the grace to apologize. Unlike some people she could mention.

Her justifiable grievance with Jinn was buried along with him. More or less. Obi-Wan, despite the trauma inflicted upon him by the circumstances surrounding that death, continued to blossom. Even though he'd chosen to be a field Jedi instead of an Archivist, she was proud of the man he'd become (with her help and despite Jinn's interference). He truly was the Guiding Light she'd always known he could be.

Now, if he'd just keep that damn Padawan of his out of her halls...

[delightful-69]

i just fucking hate this neighborhood

[tolerateit]

hmmm unfollowing and blocking lots of people

[thekimspoblog]

I'm just saying. Gus has killed people for...

Mentioning the existence of the superlab ("Winner")

General insubordination and to intimidate others ("Box Cutter")

One employee murdering another employee who was a child-murderer, even though Gus was probably going to murder the child-murderer anyway ("Full Measure")

I don't think it's insane to suggest that when Kim fled to Florida, Gus was planning to put a hit out on her, and Mike said "Leave her alone; she's not going to talk. She knows we'll kill her ex if she talks".

Other fans have argued that Kim didn't "know too much", but she did tho. Gus was undone by a fast food wrapper in an associate's apartment; it was worth everything to him that the DEA never suspected him, because if they started looking into him it would have all come crashing down. Having a woman who regularly works with law enforcement be out there able to finger him as connected to the Salamancas, seems like an uncharacteristically large risk for Gus to take.

Whether Jimmy feared this, and stayed in ABQ on purpose as collateral because of it, is more of a stretch. But I just don't like interpretations which assume the "She's in The Game now" line amounted to nothing of consequence for Kim.

[sketching-shark]

Journey to the West: And so Golden Cicada was condemned to suffer in this world of dust for being heedless of Buddha’s talk

Me, considering what “being heedless of Buddha’s talk” could mean: Tee hee Golden Cicada yaoguai warlord villain arc au is a go!

[iniziare]

Re-tag drop: Yelan

[vimbry]

the paranoia post reminded me of something I thought about at work over christmas. one of the managers suddenly called everyone over and started handing out pieces of brownie. somebody asked what this was about, and he said, "oh someone gave it to me, but I don't really like chocolate", then he kind of shrugged and went, "well, you know, I love to share!" and I was thinking haha.... hey imagine if he poisoned these brownies and this is like, some sort of mass murder in the workplace, and that's why he's being so vague about it.

ofc almost immediately I thought haha that's silly....... what if tho. a few moments after we went back to work, I convinced myself I had a mild stomach cramping and thought WHAT IF THO... POISIM

[boasamishipper]

[image description: a comparison of luke skywalker in 'the last jedi' to maverick mitchell in 'top gun: maverick'. under a picture of luke, there is a list of traits that read:

old luke:

old and grumpy

nothing like the real luke

gives up on the jedi

ridiculed

refuses to train rey

sad and pathetic

won't fight

dies for nohing

under a picture of maverick, there is a list of traits that read:

old maverick:

older and wiser

same core character

still believes in top gun

respected

trains new pilots

jaded but inspiring

fights despite the odds

puts his life on the line

end id.]

listen i hate rian johnson and the last jedi as much as the next guy but this post Just Ain't It

[echodoctor]

Among my many potential ideas for “what actually happened to Maglor, anyway?” is the one where Ulmo decides to go for a previously-successful approach and turns him into a bird.

In his defense, he’s been hearing Maglor’s endless laments along his shoreline for a while now, and has solidly grasped a recurring theme of ‘I wish that I had remained devoted only to my art, and lived life bringing beauty to the world instead of suffering’.

And a lot of other people- including quite a few people that Ulmo’s Maiar were personally fond of- also very much wish that Maglor had committed way less violence, and would in fact be a lot more comfortable if him committing any further violence was taken off the table completely as an option. Just in case.

Hence, the form of a bird: excellently suited for singing, dubiously equipped for killing anything larger than the average rabbit. Honestly, even a reasonably buff raccoon would be kind of touch and go, there. 

Plus, it has a strange kind of poetic justice, that he should be unwillingly bound to the same form that Elwing, who he would have killed, can take as she chooses- indeed, a form that was her salvation from him. 

He seems happier like this, anyway.

In conclusion: Ulmo will try a different problem-solving technique when this one stops working.