#you could literally phrase it in any other way but instead you just want to put down anyone who is against this shit for no reason bc u

[goatsandgangsters]

how to find literally any post on a blog in seconds (on desktop)

there are so many posts about ~tumblr is so broken, you can’t find any post on your own blog, it’s impossible, bluhrblub~

I am here to tell you otherwise! it is in fact INCREDIBLY easy to find a post on a blog if you’re on desktop/browser and you know what you’re doing:

url.tumblr.com/tagged/croissant will bring up EVERY post on the blog tagged with the specific and exact phrase #croissant. every single post, every single time. in chronological order starting with the most recent post. note: it will not find #croissants or that time you made the typo #croidnssants. for a tag with multiple words, it’s just /tagged/my-croissant and it will show you everything with the exact phrase #my croissant

url.tumblr.com/tagged/croissant/chrono will bring up EVERY post on the blog tagged with the exact phrase #croissant, but it will show them in reverse order with the oldest first 

url.tumblr.com/search/croissant isn’t as perfect at finding everything, but it’s generally loads better than the search on mobile. it will find a good array of posts that have the word croissant in them somewhere. could be in the body of the post (op captioned it “look at my croissant”) or in the tags (#man I want a croissant). it won’t necessarily find EVERYTHING like /tagged/ does, but I find it’s still more reliable than search on mobile. you can sometimes even find posts by a specific user by searching their url. also, unlike whatever random assortment tumblr mobile pulls up, it will still show them in a more logically chronological order

url.tumblr.com/day/2020/11/05 will show you every post on the blog from november 5th, 2020, in case you’re taking a break from croissants to look for destiel election memes 

url.tumblr.com/archive/ is search paradise. easily go to a particular month and see all posts as thumbnails! search by post type! search by tags but as thumbnails now

url.tumblr.com/archive/filter-by/audio will show you every audio post on your blog (you can also filter by other post types). sometimes a little imperfect if you’re looking for a video when the op embedded the video in a text post instead of posting as a video post, etc

url.tumblr.com/archive/tagged/croissant will show you EVERY post on the blog tagged with the specific and exact phrase #croissant, but it will show you them in the archive thumbnail view divided by months. very useful if you’re looking for a specific picture of a croissant that was reblogged 6 months ago and want to be able to scan for it quickly 

url.tumblr.com/archive/filter-by/audio/tagged/croissant will show you every audio post tagged with the specific phrase #croissant (you can also filter by photo or text instead, because I don’t know why you have audio posts tagged croissant) 

the tag system on desktop tumblr is GENUINELY amazing for searching within a specific blog! 

caveat: this assumes a person HAS a desktop theme (or “custom theme”) enabled. a “custom theme” is url.tumblr.com, as opposed to tumblr.com/url. I’ve heard you have to opt-into the former now, when it used to be the default, so not everyone HAS a custom theme where you can use all those neat url tricks. 

if the person doesn’t have a “custom theme” enabled, you’re beholden to the search bar. still, I’ve found the search bar on tumblr.com/url is WAY more reliable than search on mobile. for starters, it tends to bring posts up in a sensible order, instead of dredging up random posts from 2013 before anything else

if you’re on mobile, I’m sorry. godspeed and good luck finding anything. (my one tip is that if you’re able to click ON a tag rather than go through the search bar, you’ll have better luck. if your mutual has recently reblogged a post tagged #croissant, you can click #croissant and it’ll bring up everything tagged #croissant just like /tagged/croissant. but if there’s no readily available tag to click on, you have to rely on the mobile search bar and its weird bizarre whims) 

[elder-millennial-of-zion]

I miss the days, way back when before October 7, when I felt like I was part of leftist circles. I miss feeling energised by leftist slogans because I thought they included me, instead of targeted me.

I miss hearing “eat the rich” and not hearing it as a dog whistle for “kill the Jews.” I miss feeling inspired by phrases like “our struggles for liberation are all connected,” instead of hearing its real meaning, “the Jews are the evil puppet masters behind everything and the world must unite against them.” I miss believing that when leftists talked about punching up at their oppressors, it wasn’t just an excuse to punch down at more vulnerable minorities that they decided were their oppressors despite all evidence to the contrary.

I miss the days when the left poured into the streets to protest cops and corporations instead of protesting Jews. I miss updating myself on those protests so I could join them, instead of to know which areas to avoid because they’ll be Judenrein for the day.

I don’t wish my eyes hadn’t been opened. I’d much rather see the truth no matter how painful and disillusioning it is, because the alternative isn’t actually “bliss.” It’s having a perpetual nagging feeling that something’s off but I can’t put my finger on it, or if I can then I must be overreacting or imagining it’s worse than it is.

But that pain and disillusionment is very real. That loss is very real. It was a community I thought I belonged to, a community I put a lot of work and energy into for many years, and there is grief at the loss of it. Grief that it’s gone, grief that it never was what it claimed to be in the first place. I guess I’m grieving the loss of that part of my identity. And grieving the loss of how people I thought were my friends and allies perceive my identity. Grieving the illusion that they were ever my allies at all, that they ever would be my allies if I needed. Because I haven’t really changed, but the way my former circles look at me completely changed. People who thought I was a good person and a good ally on October 6 decided I was the devil incarnate very literally overnight.

The person who privately reached out to me a few years ago to thank me for a Facebook post I made defending sex workers, because as a former sex worker they appreciated it. Now they’ve been posting antisemitic blood libel, the kind of rhetoric that’s already gotten Jews killed, for six months straight. I tried to tell them how much pain it causes me as a Jew to see their posts, and they only doubled down. It truly is their loss. I was a good friend and a good ally, and they threw me away because I’m a Jew. But it’s totally not because I’m a Jew, it’s because I’m the evil kind of Jew, the kind that just so happens to be the profile of ninety percent of the Jewish population.

I’m grateful I have such a strong sense of Jewish identity, because otherwise the loss of identity in this other way would be far more destabilising. I get why so many people cling to their political identities no matter how much cognitive dissonance they have to wave away; why they insist their ideology is righteous no matter how much evidence to the contrary. Without any other solid identity they would feel too adrift. But that doesn’t excuse their behavior. It’s not ok to jump on a bandwagon to persecute and kill Jews because you want to belong to something that badly, because you can’t handle your sense of self evolving with all the growing pains that come with it.

So many progressive Jews like myself have described ourselves as “politically homeless.” (Specifically in the diaspora; I know the political framework in Israel is completely different.) We can let ourselves sit in that grief. Being homeless is painful and uncomfortable, but it’s better than staying in an abusive home.

[pikahlua]

MHA Chapter 409 spoilers translations

This week’s initial tentative super rough/literal translations under the cut.

tagline 1 愛を受けて育ち成長した少年はー… あいをうけてそだちせいちょうしたしょうねんはー… ai wo ukete sodachi seichou shita shounen wa-... A boy who grew up receiving love-...

tagline 2 No.409　"個性"‼︎爆破‼︎　堀越耕平 ナンバー409　"こせい"‼︎ばくは‼︎　ほりこしこうへい NANBAA 409  "kosei"!! bakuha!!   Horikoshi Kouhei No. 409 Quirk: Explosion!!  Kouhei Horikoshi

1 俺も全部俺のモンにして上へ行く おれもぜんぶおれのモンにしてうえへいく ore mo zenbu ore no MON ni shite ue e iku "I'll make everything mine and go higher."

2 「爆破」はやりてェと思った事何でも出来る！ 「ばくは」はやりてェとおもったことなんでもできる！ 「bakuha」 wa yariteE to omotta koto nandemo dekiru! "Explosion can do anything I want!"

3 出久 いずく Izuku Izuku

4 もうおめーの邪魔はしねえ もうおめーのじゃまはしねえ mou omee no jama wa shinee I won't get in your way anymore.* (*Note: This is a sentence that could have many potential translations: "I won't get in your way anymore," "I won't hold you back anymore," "I won't be a hindrance to you anymore," etc.)

1 避けろ少年!!! よけろしょうねん!!! yokero shounen!!! "Dodge, young man!!!"

2 頼む たのむ tanomu I'm counting on you,* (*Note: This word literally means "to ask, to rely on, to request," but when spoken like this, it's usually a manly way to say "please".)

3 爆ぜろ はぜろ hazero burst.* (*Note: This word means "burst open" or "pop," but in this context it clearly means something like "explode" too.)

爆ぜろ はぜろ hazero "Burst!"

1 何だ⁉︎奴は今何の挙動も見せていなかった筈！ なんだ⁉︎やつはいまなんのきょどうもみせていなかったはず！ nanda!? yatsu wa ima nan no kyodou mo misete inakatta hazu! What!? He certainly wasn't showing any behavior* just now! (*Note: Literally the phrase written is "he wasn't showing any behavior," but they mean "he didn't move or seem to do anything to cause this.")

2 雨で威力落ちっからよぉ あめでいりょくおちっからよぉ ame de iryoku ochi kkara yoo "With the rain, their power will reduce, so"

3 "コーティング"して飛ばしといた！ "コーティング"してとばしといた！ "KOOTINGU" shite tobashi toita! "I applied a coating and hurled them away!"

4 爆発する汗粒を普通の汗粒でな！誘爆せず飛ばせて ばくはつするあせつぶをふつうのあせつぶでな！ゆうばくせずとばせて bakuhatsu suru asetsubu wo futuu no asetsubu de na! yuubaku sezu tobasete "[I coated them] with normal drops of sweat instead of exploding drops of sweat!

5 時間差で混ざって他の刺激で起爆できっかなって！ じかんさでまざってほかのしげきできばくできっかなって！ jikansa de mazatte hoka no shigeki de kibaku de kikka natte! "I guess the time lag caused them to mix and detonate by some other stimulus!"

1 あの時‼︎僕の口の中に⁉︎ あのとき‼︎ぼくのくちのなかに⁉︎ ano toki!! boku no kuchi no naka ni!? At that time!! Inside my mouth!?

2 あの土壇場で!⁉︎ あのどたんばで!⁉︎ ano dotanba de!!? At that last minute!!?

3-4 センスだけは褒められてきたンでね センスだけはほめられてきたンでね SENSU dake wa homerarete kitaNde ne "I've been praised for only my good sense."

5 "個性"は一つで充分すわ‼︎ "こせい"はひとつでじゅうぶんすわ‼︎ "kosei" wa hitotsu de juubun su wa!! "As for quirks, my one is enough!!"

6 奴はダメージを負うと身体が若返っていく！わかるな⁉︎ やつはダメージをおうとからだがわかがえっていく！わかるな⁉︎ yatsu wa DAMEEJI wo ou to karada ga wakagaette iku! wakaru na!? When he takes damage, his body gets younger! Understand!?

7 ダメージで力が乱れたもう一度放出をーー ダメージでちからがみだれたもういちどほうじゅつをーー DAMEEJI de chikara ga midareta mou ichido houjutsu wo-- With the damage, his power is in disarray. Release it one more time--

8 これは…僕の物語だ…‼︎ これは…ぼくのものがたりだ…‼︎ kore wa...boku no monogatari da...!! "This...is my story...!!"

9 どけ doke "Out of the way,"

10 モブがああ MOBU gaaa "you extraaa!"

1 ハウザー HAUZAA Howitzer

2 インパクト!!! INPAKUTO!!! Impact!!!

3 〜〜っ……‼︎ ~~......!! "~~gh......!!"

1 んだらあああ!!!!!!! ndaraaaa!!!!!!! "JUUUUST!!!!!!!"

1 うぅぅるっせええェえええええ uuurusseeeEeeeee "SHUUUUUUUUUT"

1 えンんだよォオォオオオオオオおおおお!!! eNnda yoOOOOOOOOOoooo!!! "UUUUUUUUUUUUUUP!!!"

1 おかしい！因子の結合が上手くいかない おかしい！いんしのけつごうがうまくいかない okashii! inshi no ketsugou ga umaku ikanai It's strange! My combination of factors doesn't work well.

2 こんな爆破ごときで崩れるなどありえん！ こんなばくはごときでくずれるなどありえん！ konna bakuha gotoki de kuzureru nado arien! There's no way it would collapse from such an explosion!

3 身体が幼く脆くなったせいか⁉︎ からだがおさなくもろくなったせいか⁉︎ karada ga osanaku moroku natta sei ka!? Is it because my body has become young and fragile!?

4 "負の感情"に振り回されて"支配権"が���まってんスよ "ふのかんじょう"にふりまわされて"しはいけん"がよわまってんスよ "fu no kanjou" ni furimawasarete "shihaiken" ga yowamattenSU yo "You're being swayed by negative emotions and your 'authority' is weakening."

5 だから dakara "That's why"

6 俺のファンミ※会場にされちゃうワケですわ おれのファンミ※かいじょうにされちゃうワケですわ ore no FANMI※ kaijou ni sarechau WAKE desu wa "I'm using you as a venue for my FanMe※."

small text ※ファンミーティング ※FAN MIITINGU ※Fan Meeting

7 "死柄木"に呑まれたな "しがらき"にのまれたな "Shigaraki" ni nomareta na "You got swallowed by Shigaraki, eh?"

8 これは俺たちの これはおれたちの kore wa ore-tachi no "This is our"

9 物語だ!!! ものがたりだ!!! monogatari da!!! "story!!!"

tagline その妄執に終止符をーー積み重ね、繋がれた一撃‼︎ そのもうしゅうにしゅうしふをーーつみかさね、つながれたいちげき‼︎ sono moushuu ni shuushifu wo-- tsumikasane, tsunagareta ichigeki!! Put an end to that delusion--a layered, single blow lands!!

1-2 皆が少しずつ与えてきたダメージと苛立ちが… みんながすこしずつあたえてきたダメージといらだちが… minna ga sukoshi zutsu ataete kita DAMEEJI to iradachi ga... The damage and frustration everyone has caused little by little...

3 ついにーー‼︎ tsui ni--!! finally--!!

4 AFO オール・フォー・ワン OORU FOO WAN All For One,

5 あ… a... "Ah..."

6 が… ga... "Gah..."

7 今度こそ こんどこそ kondo koso this time, for sure.* (*Note: This phrase emphasizes that "this time" is different, "this time" is certain. The implication is that "this time AFO has been defeated for real.")

8 俺一人で…勝てるワケねーーンだよ おれひろりで…かてるワケねーーンだよ ore hitori de...kateru WAKE neeeNda yo "By myself...there's no way I could win." (Note: This is the completed version of the last line from the previous chapter, the line with the unclear meaning of who it was exactly Katsuki was calling an idiot who couldn't win.)

[justatalkingface]

In Lack Of Defense to Aizawa

-And to varying extents literally every other UA staff member, and basiclly anyone in any sort of authority or who just exists in MHA at all.

Something I saw recently (when I started this post, months ago, anyways) that kind of pissed me of (that I'm posting here, with no connections to where it happened, because it was on a nice fic I like and I don't want to bring crap into the comments just because I don't agree with the author's view on something) is the idea that Aizawa is... how do I put this, more excusable because he doesn't know the full story behind Izuku and Bakugou.

And... to some extent, that isn't wrong, is the thing. He doesn't know that Bakugou systematically made Izuku's life hell, so he can't be expected to react to it (you can question how he would react to it, and that's a completely fair thing to be concerned about, all things considered, though that isn't the point of all this)... but. The thing is, he can be expected to react to what he does know/see, and that's the vastly justifiable criticism of him as a teacher comes from.

Day One: Bakugou attacks Izuku for.... existing with a Quirk. And here's the thing, Aizawa does stop that, but Izuku, and most people who read the story, phrase that as, 'Aizawa stopped Bakugou! Good job Aizawa!'. That's not the right response. The right response is: Aizawa stopped Bakugou, as is his literal job; it's not something that should be acknowledged as unique or impressive. Aizawa being the only person in Izuku's life to stop Bakugou is not glowing praise for Aizawa, it's blistering condemnation for everyone else. Not letting your students try to kill each in front of you is, in fact, the bare fucking minimum.

And here's the where the problem starts: Aizawa does that... and nothing else. Good Old 'Expel 'Em All' Aizawa watches a student attack a fellow student in front of him (after, for the record, sabotaging the same student in the race by blasting him with his explosions, which... is also something that, at least, should be something discussed, if not be summarily expelled over, since being happy is expulsion worthy in Aizawa Land, or being someone that reminds him of All Might) and his response is complaining that Bakugou is making him do more work. Which. You know, is bad. He doesn't even scold Bakugou, or warn him, or do anything to punish him for this.

'You're giving me dry eye, damn it!'

Yes. Because, when one student attacks another, that is the concerning point. How it inconveniences you.

(For the record, I'll touch on all the other problems with this chunk of time, which are present but not actually on target for this post, just to be thorough: doing this test at all, when they already passed, doing it on day one, doing it, apparently, because they were excited and/or because he reminded Eraserhead of All Might, threatening to expel Izuku for daring to not having control of his Quirk, being proud he only broke one finger, not doing anything to help him stop breaking his bones, teaching his students that he'll only lie to them by his whole, 'Logical Ruse' bit, (which if anything should make his threats have less bite when he fails to follow through on them every time), and sabotaging the score when, as I've discussed before, there's no way Toru, at the very least, could outperform Izuku on a test around the physical abilities of her Quirk when her Quirk is invisibility.... a test that, for extra hypocrite points, he couldn't have passed as a student.)

Day Two: Bakugou actually tries to murder Izuku in a training exercise. And I say murder deliberately; All Might explained what would happen if he hit Izuku with his gauntlet, and doesn't even argue with that assessment, instead saying, 'He won't die if he dodges!'.

In other words, Bakugou is saying, 'He'll die if I hit him!'

The next day, after reviewing the test, Aizawa says.... 'Bakugou, stop acting like a seven year old.'

Not: we're taking away your gauntlets until you can use them responsibly. Not: killing people is wrong. Not: disobey a teacher again and I'll expel you. Not: Any form of punishment or disciplinary action for, again, an actual murder attempt.

Grow up.

...Do you see where the problem is here?

Beyond this point, there's god knows how many times Bakugou yells at and/or attacks Izuku for Reasons(TM) throughout their entire school life, none of which is actually hidden from anyone, culminating in the Final Exam where Aizawa admits they have problems working together.... which is, in itself, phrasing that puts the burden as much on Izuku as it does on Bakugou. That is, needless to say, bullshit: the problem is completely on Bakugou's side, because Izuku would be pathetically grateful to his abuser if they could work together, and he constantly does his best to make that happen, no matter how often that never actually works for him.

This phrasing fits Aizawa's 'solution', which is to pair them together for their exam against All Might, again putting the burden for Bakugou's attitude on Izuku rather than dealing with it himself, with the (again, lied about) consequences of not going with the rest of the class on their summer outing, along with probably being closer to flunking out of school. This attitude culminates, ultimately, in BvD2, where Bakugou does everything to start the fight, including launching the first blow, Izuku is defending himself, yet they are both held equally responsible.

So. In Aizawa Land, if I walk up to someone with a crowbar, start hitting them, and they hit me back so I don't crack their skull open, we're both to blame for the fight; after all, they hit me, right? Seriously. Has he arrested civilians for fighting back against people trying to rob/rape/murder them? Because under this logic? The victim is just as much to blame as the robber/rapist/murder.

Alright, so as much as these posts are generally scathing criticisms, I do strive to be somewhat fair. All of these points? All of these points apply to All Might. And to Nezu. And Midnight. And Present Mic. And Class 1A. And Class 1B. And... you know what, let me sum it up: this applies to everyone who has seen Bakugou and Izuku interact, and went, 'Aww..., they're rivals!'. Which. Is basiclly every named character with any screen time, barring maybe the original version of Best Jeanist, before he became an empty shell whose only job is to praise Bakugou.

This isn't a unique problem. This is a Bakugou Problem. This is because no one can hold Bakugou accountable for anything he does, ever, and because of his quantum characterization, Bakugou lives in a consequence free reality where he says and does one thing, and literally the entire world goes selectively blind to act like he did something else entirely. It makes him come out of every situation smelling like roses, even if he spent the entire time bathing in shit, and it makes everyone around him pay the price for him instead. I'm only focusing on Aizawa for one reason: because the fandom worships him.

People love the Kakashi replacement more than they did the original model, and unlike Bakugou this isn't contentious; Bakugou may be more popular but Eraserhead's love is far more universal.

Dadzawa, despite being blatant falsehoods, is the most common take on him, but it's not even that that sparked this rant; it's that people look at him as an actual, flawed, person who makes mistakes, but refuse to go to the next logical step on those mistakes because he's 'doing his best'.

Because he's not.

He has never done his best, because he is falling asleep in class. There is no way for me to look at this disaster, sleeping in class, threatening his students, constantly eroding their trust in his words, and think, 'he's doing his best', because he isn't.

'Doing your best' means, basiclly, you never could have done this, because of some inability, but your trying anyways. All Might is trying his best, because he doesn't know how to teach at all (now that he's done training up Izuku, anyways). He's failing, yes, but he's clearly trying.

Aizawa isn't, because he's not trying. Unlike All Might, he can teach, is the thing, he's just choosing not too. Once in a blue moon, when the school administration puts it's baleful eye on him he actually does teach; he did help Momo and Shoto, for example. Problem being, he only did it then, when he was forced to test them, instead of... any time before their exam (while still somehow missing Shoto's entire everything at the same time, which is failure on such a enormous level it's kind of impressive). Then, of course, there's his mini-me, who he took from a skinny branch of a scrub to being able to use his combat scarf proficiently in battle, an absurdly exotic weapon who having an even a basic mastery must have taken months of difficult, intensive training. If Aizawa was 'trying his best', he'd be doing that teaching... you know, at all, basiclly and not when he's being held at professional gun point, or when it's for his one favorite who isn't even in his class.

Aizawa isn't doing his best, he's doing the absolute minimum he can to keep this position.

And just... look. I get that he's tired. I get he has two full time jobs. I get that that's easily the most sympathetic emotion for basiclly everyone these days, that everyone can vibe to existential exhaustion on a soul deep level. But the thing is, every Hero teacher we've seen, period, is an actual Hero. Beyond Aizawa, the only person we see having trouble with that is All Might who is, A, a new teacher, B, canonly shit with his time management and has a long, storied history of overdoing it, and C, is missing most of his internal organs. Forget teaching, every morning the man wakes up vaguely surprised he's still alive! All Might has a great excuse for being tired and overworked. Everyone else? Everyone is also working two jobs, with Present Mic working three, and still handling it a lot better than Eraserhead is.

No one made Eraserhead come in the next day after being brutally beaten to the point where he had permanent damage and was still covered in bandages, which probably set back his recovery by weeks, realistically. No one is making him work so hard he has to take naps in class to stay functional. And yet, he's the only one who can't seem to keep that schedule up.

He chose to have two jobs, and unlike most people with two jobs, he doesn't need them; he's not being a teacher so he can get a steady paycheck and have food to eat, this is a luxury to him, a choice he's willingly making for fun, not to support himself.

What I'm saying is: if the man can't handle being both a full time hero and a full time teacher, then maybe he should stop doing both at the same time. Aizawa being tired doesn't make him a good teacher, it just makes him bad at time management.

[insipid-drivel]

Southern Colloquialisms To Enrage ESL Bloggers:

I see a few posts asking international and other tumblr bloggers to supply the literal English translations to common colloquial phrases for the sake of the sheer silliness, strangeness, and outright lunacy of what happens when you take a colloquialism and take it literally (Factoid: linguists refer to this process as “Pidgin”)

But what about Southern colloquialisms from the United States that don’t even make sense in their native language? Hello! My great-great grandmother was born in a ditch outside of a mud house with mud floors in the Dust Bowl in the United States and I didn’t know I had a Southern accent until my friends in the Pacific Northwest pointed it out!

I have relatives from all along the Bible Belt, aka the “Old South” that, you know... Yeah. A few of my cousins are awesome people and we trade notes over ridiculous phrases our relatives and elders used that we never understood, but accepted on a spiritual level. Here are some I grew up with:

“Got myself a short cold.” - “I have seasonal allergies and just mowed the lawn.”

“Oh, crap and molasses!” - “I forgot something at home and we’re already almost to our destination and I don’t want to swear in front of polite company and small children.”

“Eating high on the hog tonight!” - “We’re not eating scrap cuts and offal for dinner because steaks were 2-for-1 today.”

“Hoecake” - A form of pancake or “Johnny Cake” made from corn meal instead of flour. They’re delicious.

“Catawampus” or “Cattywampus” - “I’m gonna have to wash that off the ceiling but at least it worked. It’s messy.” 

 “Piddling” and “Piddly” - Any worthless or time-wasting endeavor or result that helps no one. “This paycheck is plum piddly, hoss. Quit piddlin’ ‘round and gimme that re-GI-nal manager’s job y’all know I’m qualified for.”

“Hoss” - “Boss” that you also think could probably beat the crap out of you behind an alley for catching you cheating at pool.

“That boy’s bigger’n a brick shithouse.” - “Your physique and muscular stature is intimidating to the degree that I am complimenting you by comparing you to a solid structure everyone would regret trying to knock down.” 

“Crazier’n a shithouse rat.” - “Dude, please talk to a psychiatrist.”

“Doohickey” - Any object or concept you can’t remember the name of but need urgently. Often accompanied by aggressive hand waving in the approximate direction of said object without actually looking at it.

“Y’all better hush up back there!” - Your grandmother’s polite way of warning you she’s going to take a flyswatter to your ass if you don’t shut the fuck up in Church.

“Y’all’d’ve” - A real contraction I can’t even stop myself from using meaning “You all should/would have” and am leaving here just for the English majors out there. 

“Dude” - A completely urbanized individual who has no idea how to live or function in a rural or wild setting without technology and utilities and can’t ride a horse or milk a cow.

“Proudboy” - Oh yes, it was already a thing. In Southern slang, a “Proudboy” is a neutered male horse that still acts like he’s a badass stallion the mares will want to mate with. “Poor proudboy ain’t noticed yet, bless his heart.” 

“Bless his/hers/your heart.” -  “Because the Good Lord sure didn’t bless your head.” It’s also used as a heartfelt form of “Thank you” when someone goes out of their way to offer you a kind and thoughtful gesture. Context is important.

“Don’t let the door hit ya where the Good Lord split ya.” - “You are no longer welcome in this space and if you don’t leave now I’m literally going to slam the door on your ass.” 

“Living in high cotton” - “I have achieved fiscal success and am using a colloquial term to refer to it without considering the fact that the term originated out of slave plantations.”

“If the creek don’t rise.” - Basically “Knock on wood.” A term meaning, “I’ve prepared for everything but what I can’t prepare for or anticipate and will achieve my goal so long as it is within my power to do it.” Bonus points if you pronounce “creek” as “crick”.

 “Fixin’ to” - Another polite way of indicating you’re about to aggressively undertake a task. “I’m fixin’ to whip ya ass, son.” This is not to be confused with “Fixin’s” singular, which refers to the ingredients or catalysts required to cook or complete something that requires assembly.

“Doesn’t amount to a hill of beans.” - A hill of beans is a Southern unit of measurement for anything that remains worthless regardless of how much of it you have, much like NFTs. “Your anti-TERF ‘sources’ don’t amount to a hill of beans, proudboy.”

“(Way) Over yonder” - “It’s over there, and the number of times I repeat the word ‘way’ prior to ‘over’ is indicative of how much yonder is between you and there. Sorry, what’s a yonder? You just asked me to show you! It’s way, way over there! Bless your heart...”

“Madder than a wet hen.” - “Oops, you have reached ‘yikes’ level of pissed off. Better skedaddle!”

“Skedaddle” - “RUN AWAY FAST NOW AAAAAAAAAAAAAA”

“It’s blowin’ up a storm.” - The sensory indicators of an oncoming heavy storm or hurricane that presents with the smell of ozone, high humidity, and an abrupt drop in temperature. Yes, it’s a thing; I can also smell when a storm’s gathering and it is a distinct set of very subtle odors.

“Pretty as a peach.” - “That individual whose pronouns are irrelevant but is most commonly a woman or proud of rocking a femme aesthetic is exceptionally beautiful and I admire them.” 

“Busy as a cat on a hot tin roof.” - “We’re overburdened and understaffed to the point that I am numb to all forms of communication that don’t involve someone being on fire.”

“Aren’t you precious.” - Not a question unless it begins with “Well,”. Depending on tone, it either is a high compliment toward someone’s appearance or behavior being exceptional, or as a sarcastic response to when someone says something insulting to you. “Awww, you’re so sweet, baby sister!” vs. “That insult was just adorable.” 

“Yes Sir/Ma’am/Mx” - Also applies to “No”. Answering a question with “Sir”, “Ma’am”, or “Mx” to someone that is your age or older is just considered universally respectful in polite conversation. If a Southern person suddenly stops answering your questions with your preferred pronouns or never does at all, it probably means they have 0 respect for you. When the small niceties disappear, you’ve fucked up.

“Frunchard” - “Front yard”, the opposite of the back yard. 

“Quit being ugly.” - “Stop being an asshole.”

“He thinks the sun comes up just to hear him crow.” - “You’re so stupidly full of yourself you’d probably honestly believe the sun rises and sets just for you.”

“That dog won’t hunt.” - “I know you believe it’s a good idea, but uh... it’s not.” Also used in place of replying to a person’s excuse you know is 100% bullshit.

“Well, I declare...” - “I am about to obliquely reveal broad adjectives reflective of my emotional state or opinion about this state of affairs and you should probably prepare yourself for more nonsensical colloquialisms.”

“My eyeballs are floating.” - “I need to pee so badly it isn’t going to be an option very, very soon.”

“Can’t never could.” - “Can’t never could do nothing!” That’s... that’s literally it. I can’t elaborate any more than saying it’s a term indicating you’re feeling optimistic. 

“Give him two nickels for a dime and he’ll think he’s rich.” - “This person’s stupidity is physically painful to experience.”

“That makes me wanna slap my mama!” - “I am so impressed/pleased with that experience that we’ve circled around to domestic violence somehow.” 

“You could start an argument in an empty house.” - “Go to anger management classes.”

“Ain’t got the good sense God gave a rock.” - “I cannot fathom this level of lack of common sense and forethought and require divine intervention immediately.”

“Slicker than pig snot on a radiator.” -  “That person is the Webster’s definition of a scumbag.”

“About as useless as a screen door on a submarine.” - I think that one is pretty self-explanatory.

“There’s not a pot too crooked that a lid won’t fix.” - “There’s someone out there for everyone. Don’t give up on finding love and companionship just because you’re different.”

[spiteless-xo]

Hi omg I love your writing especially as a Jean Kirstein girl

So...um...aot characters as porn star?!?

Like idk audio porn,faceless porn or proudly showing their face

thank you so much!! and omg ty for the ask 😫 i've been struggling w inspiration to answer some of the other requests in my inbox (but don't worry, i will get to all of them!!!!) but this one just spoke to me.

(also my spacebar is messed up so if spacing looks weird, it's because my spacebar sometimes likes to put two spaces in between words instead of just one)

╰┈➤ as porn stars - aot.

ft. armin, eren, jean. cw. explicit sexual content, explicit language gn!reader.

⋙ armin arlert.

audio only for our baby armin

he will post literally 20-minute-long audio clips on twitter of him whimpering and whining as he touches himself with jerk off noises in the background

has a patreon where you can pay to request him whimpering your name or any other short phrases in a personalized audio clip

i feel like he would have a sfw job that involves social media like streaming or youtube or something. and people would theorize that the cozy game streamer, armin arlert, is also the whimpering audio guy on twitter, but he's good at keeping the two sides separate so people don't have enough proof to confirm.

⋙ eren jaeger.

full-face, full-body, everything, of course -- it's eren.

he has a twitter that he posts teaser pictures or short clips of his videos, but you have to pay if you want to see everything!

absolutely does meetups with his fans. when he's travelling he'll make a post on twitter saying like "lmk if you're in the area, i'm looking for a costar 😏" and he will absolutely meet up with you -- and film it of course

he loves hooking up with fans for content. he's good about always blurring their face in the videos, but probably has a few "regulars" that he makes content w often

⋙ jean kirstein.

faceless jerk-off videos.

his dick is huge, so it would be a shame for him to hide it from the rest of the world!! i feel like jean is a grower and a shower, so he likes to start his videos with his dick soft so you can watch it grow

usually shares solo stuff, but if he's dating someone he'll make content with them. the camera will be placed in a way that cuts off both of your guys' heads from being seen, but he doesn't use masks or anything like that

probably could also get away with just making audio clips because he's so vocal when he's jerking off, but he gets too much of an ego boost from all of the people in the comments talking about his dick.

[dropthedemiurge]

Some language comments for Gray Shelter [Episode 5], just like I promised!

"Do whatever/however you want to. (literally: 'Do it the way your heart desires') You do things how you want to anyway."

"I'm sorry" - the translation is correct, it's just it's funny how Yoondae's level of apology to his friend he just lashed out at last time + he wants to ask him for HELP, and all he says is: 미안 (mian). The most informal and short way of apologizing possible. He's so teenager-minded still.

Even when he asks "Can I leave my stuff in your dad's warehouse?" it comes out grammatically more of a demand, like 'Let me do that'. Yoondae is talking like someone who has a lot of walls and doesn't reach out to people, he doesn't talk kindly but he's honest and straightforward and he cries easily but he's very angry about it.

I especially love his facial expression, even when he's at his most miserable, he'll make it everyone else's problem, as if being pitiful is the worst thing that could happen to him. "I have no one else I could ask for help but you >:(("

Fun fact about Korean's sentence structure, when you quote someone or express your thoughts, you put your sentence this way: "quoted phrase" and then + "that's what they said/what i thought/etc". So oftentimes, I see Kdramas use that trick when characters say a phrase... and then take it back with "that's someone else's thoughts" or "that's what you thought I'd say, right? LMAO". It's funny how the translators' way of transferring this was using the word "Sike!" xD

"It wasn't a mistake to me." "If it wasn't a mistake, then [what]? Since you started talking [about it], let me ask you. So what if it wasn't a mistake? What do you want to achieve with me?" "Can I do anything about it? In the past or now, you're the one who runs away and avoids me. I asked you, can I make a decision (do I have any choices)?" "You made the move but you want me to decide? Fine, then. Let sleep together once and end it once and for all. Go wash up first. I don't have time, I only left office for a short time."

The way they both care about each other but their dialogues and words are very sharp and bitter almost all the time, especially here, aaaah. That's the contrast that hooked me for all these 5 episodes. Soohyuk doesn't swear but he's talking to Yoondae very harshly and emotionless here, and for Yoondae harsh talk is the default, it's like Soohyuk is lowering his manners to talk on his level, to provoke him (or maybe that's also how he distances himself from the discovery that Yoondae has feelings for him).

And Yoondae is holding back his frustration and tears, but he understands the way such words were aimed to hurt him, so instead of lashing out back at Soohyuk, as he probably wants him to, he swallows and unusually calmly, almost softly says: "Let's talk when you can be honest. Because I will shut up and wait for you."

And it makes Soohyuk stand there in shock and contemplate.

I'll add next scenes in READ MORE since this post is getting long!

Here's the moment when the boss asks their youngest employee to write something more 'trendy' for their marketing text xD It's very true that trends in Korea come and go very quickly, they also love to invent new terms and phrases all the time. Like "MZ slang", there are many phrases, and the one trendy phrase the boss uses as the example is 킹받네 (king-pad-nae) which literally written as 'receive the king' but means "I got angry" - but with a teasing/playful subtext, like friends could say each other 'ah you're so cute, it makes me angry'.

If I'm not wrong, this phrase was widely used like 1-2 years ago and not really in its trendy peak as well right now but kudos to boss to even learning it xD And it's funny how translator chose to (I assume) use "[living in my head] rent-free" phrase as a substitute. Another fun fact, they ended up using some trendy lingo in their ad that translator gave us as "no cap!" but that part of phone msg was so blurry, I couldn't see which exact Korean phrase they ended up using x)

"Hyung, if you have any ask for help, say so. For you, 2 million... No, I'll try to give you until 3 million won in any way."

Can I just say that we had this character for one moment and I'm so not ready to let him go, I want Jeongwan to have his own storyline and everything and he's too sweet and also caring for strangers/his colleagues, and so he stole the spotlight for me xD

Yoondae said there's no food at home. But also, as you can see, there is: beer, water, rice that you can cook in the microwave, kimchi for a side dish and some other microwaved food. According to my Korean friends, typical Korean person (poor like student) can survive if they have rice, kimchi and also ramyeon. That's their the most basic food. Just a fun fact. xD

Also he was on his third can of beer, and he already made a drunken longing call on the verge of tears to Soohyuk, lying about being hurt and bringing trouble just so he'd return home. "Is that okay with you?" - just shoot me, please. :')

"I called [the cleaning service/you] to tell you to stop it [sleeping outside of home]" "Let's have that dinner [that I promised you] today. Wait for me."

After days, Yoondae was ready to give up, he "tricked" Soohyuk to return home just so he could tell him he'll move out and stop pushing any talk. And then, Soohyuk brought up the dinner (the feelings) that he kept avoiding. No wonder Yoondae looked so struck and confused. It just gave him his hopes back (and viewers too, but we probably should've known better with this kind of series haha)

Interesting cultural context: they are getting samgyeopsal - grilled meat, chosen by Soohyuk because Yoongdae said there wasn't anything he wanted to eat. And usually, the youngest one has to set the cutlery and grill meat, out of respect for the seniors. And here we see that Soohyuk is the one choosing the place, menu and even grilling the meat and pouring soju for Yoondae.

Once again, it shows that despite Yoondae's emotions and pleads, he is not mature enough, he is not ready to focus on other people. We know he can't plan his own future, he doesn't know what to do, and we see where their relationship stands now - Yoondae is still more of a burden than an equal partner to Soohyuk, and Soohyuk is more of a parent.

Even when they drink soju (in Korean drinking etiquette usually you don't drink alone, you toast together and drink together), notice how they don't even clink their glasses together, then Soohyuk is the only one drinking and Yoondae wants to follow him but puts the glass back. He's taking a shot later, when Soohyuk grills the meat again. They are totally unsynchronized at this point of their lives, and it's painful to watch.

"I said he [my father] was dead because that's the truth/reality for me. There was no other [hidden] meaning. I didn't plan to lie to you."

"I moved out completely. If I don't organize my life starting from doing this, then I don't think I'll be able to live like all the other [normal] people."

The fact that Yoondae started thinking about improving his life (the word 'organizing'), immediately made Soohyuk stop in surprise. So he started asking what does the normal life like others mean to him, hopeful to find that equal adult footing from Yoondae... but Yoondae's thoughts stopped there. And Soohyuk offered his own goal and life meaning: "to have a place to go back to, that's enough for me".

Here's when Yoondae thoughtfully agreed with him: "It's important to have a home", and took the meat tongs from Soohyuk, saying how high-maintenance he is. Yoondae embraced that realization, he took the responsibility (even a small cultural gesture) and even though Yoondae nagged him, Soohyuk smirked. Because it wasn't a completely hopeless situation. And Yoondae proved it, by saying how eating like this and going home together is his normal life as well. (and yet they were still unsynchronized until the very end! we can't have happy ending yet)

AND HERE IS WHERE I HAVE TO MAKE A SECOND POST! Because tumblr only allows 30 images in one, and I can't stop screenshotting the last conversation so I'm going to make another post that you can find in 'gray shelter comments' or 'dropthemeta' tags (upd. or here's the link to the post!)^^

[ssahotchnerr]

Aaron definitely the type of boyfriend to answer your call in the middle of the night after having a bad day

oh absolutely 🥺

you partially feel bad for calling so late- aaron already doesn't get enough sleep as it is- but more than anything you just needed to hear his voice.

so the second he answers, you can't help but cry softly into the phone :( he's your safest place, so all the emotions you've been holding in all day just comes flooding out, because they'll be secure with him. you're basically incoherent, sobs escaping deep from your chest as you just ramble on and on about your day and how it was just plain awful.

aaron, of course, does not mind in the slightest how late it is, and his heart just drops when he hears how distraught you are. he's whispering sweet phrases into the phone, like "it's okay baby" "i'm here" "that's it, just cry it out" :( he remains quiet other than that until you calm down, only light sniffles now leaving you. he's allowing you that space to release all your sadness uninterrupted, and you're always so thankful when he does that. that way it's at your own pace, your feelings are being validated completely, there's no rush.

finally, you wipe your eyes and whimper softly- asking if you can come over because you just need him :( aaron immediately shushes you, saying softly he'll come to yours instead- there's absolutely no way he's letting you drive in your upset state.

aaron has a key to your apartment, so he lets himself in when he arrives. within an instant he's in your bedroom, and the sight of him just allows so much relief to fill you, causing you to tear up again :((( your day may have been horrible, but you'll always have aaron. always.

he immediately gets under the comforter with you, silently pulling you into his arms and holding you so so closely. it allows you to bury your head into his chest, his neck, whatever you prefer in the moment. usually, his chest is your go-to, because hearing his heartbeat is so grounding and calming and it never fails to settle your nerves. you literally couldn't get any closer to him even if you tried.

but, that doesn't mean there's no more attempts to be even closer. aaron's arms are wrapped around you as tightly as he can manage, his fingers either rubbing your back or running through your hair to relax you even further.

now that he's physically here with you, you go over your bad day once again. you aren't as distraught as you've had some time to calm down, and he's adding more thorough words of affirmation, encouragement, and apologizing for how horrible it was :( it's just more intimate this way, rather than having a full discussion through the phone- because he's here and you're within his reach. and again, your emotions aren't being rushed.

there is no one on the earth more comforting and caring than him :( aaron always makes it a goal to get you to smile, and the discussion won't end until you do, no matter how late the two of you stay up. he just wants his love to be happy :( in addition, the two of you won't be sleeping until you feel better regardless. not only because it hurts his heart to see you sad, but your sleep won't be restless, your mind isn't crowded with negative thoughts to keep you from sleeping, and when you wake up, you aren't dreading the day.

and as you finally drift to sleep, aaron's whispering sweet nothings to you, or he could honestly be just rambling on about anything- to keep your mind occupied without overwhelming it and he knows how much of a comfort his voice is to you. and every so often, he's giving you soft loving kisses- on your lips, forehead, temple, any place he can reach. so you fall asleep hearing how much he loves you, that he's proud of you, and you're simply the best thing that's ever happened to him <3

[drenched-in-sunlight]

One thing I truly wish for from the DLC is a complex portrayal of the relationship between Marika and Messmer. I highly doubt that Messmer will be depicted as a “momma’s boy”, but I also don’t want to see Marika portrayed as a cold, abusive mother who banished him for some unknown reason. He could have done things to deserve banishment, but we don’t really know anything as of now.

My point is, I want to see a different dynamic in their relationship. We have already seen Marika throw her Omen twins into the sewers because the Golden Order dislikes the Omen. I have some hope that they will try something different with Marika and Messmer’s relationship compared to what we have seen so far with Marika’s other children.

After all, Messmer is the only one so far to acknowledge her as his mother. Not to mention, the statue of Marika holding a baby (likely Messmer) is the only statue that depicts her in a positive light.

it's interesting that you phrase it as "Marika throw her Omen twins into the sewers because the Golden Order dislikes the Omen"... since i don't think that's what happened. at all.

even before the DLC trailer i didn't think she heartlessly tossed the twins aside, and after the DLC trailer i believe that even more.

"Those stripped of the grace of gold shall all meet death. In the embrace of Messmer's flame."

there is a convenient executor for those shunned by grace, if Marika wanted the cursed kids gone, why hid them right underneath the capital where any nosy peasant could wander in the sewer, instead of just sending them straight to Messmer ... literally no one would be able to sniff out the kids since they aren't even in the Lands Between anymore.

Marika's relationship with her children can be interpreted many ways by different ppl, im not here to ruin anyone's fun, but in my house i don't think her actions came from a cold, uncaring place. all the established relationships in canon now are already complex, if you look at it in different ways.

[ladywaffles]

Dearest lamby what about icemav + 1 for the drunken love confessions if it inspires?

i am so sorry this is literal months late but i hope you enjoy!

“I like your stupid face. It’s so stupid. It’s so… I like it. Can I touch it?”

Slider is the first of them to get married.

He’s the last of them to settle down.

Merlin and his girl have done everything but the big white wedding; Maverick, who despite all evidence to the contrary, is a good, Church-going boy, looked like a cartoon character with his eyes bugged out when he realized that Merlin and Sandra had been together for the better part of two decades and hadn’t gotten married. They’re on their third kid and second house, and they have no intention of tying the knot any time soon.

It had become clear sometime around the time the Berlin Wall fell that Ice and Maverick were never going to have a formal wedding ceremony.

At least, it appeared that way to Slider. Ice and Maverick were circling in a stupidly elaborate mating dance that involved constantly competing on their hops and calling each other dumbass and denigrating their respective ability to operate a jet, while also glaring down any aviator who ever jumped in on the conversation—even just to tease!—as if to say, No, you fucker, you are not a part of this. You do not get to call this man lesser-than just because I can, you are not me, you have not earned the right to look at us.

It took a while, but Mav and Ice finally got their shit together (thanks in no small part to Slider and Merlin’s meddling, you’re welcome, asshats), and sure, they can’t get married in any way that the government would recognize, but somewhere along the line they turned into boring DINKs who doted on Bradshaw’s kid when they were stateside.

So Slider’s the first one to get married, and therefore the first one to get a bachelor party. They’re well into their mid-thirties, and it’s the first bachelor party they’ve ever thrown.

Well, except for Maverick, who was one of only two witnesses to Nicholas and Carole Bradshaw’s elopement, and who loved both the bride and groom so much that he wasn’t going to let the occasion go by without a Maverick-sized bang.

So God help him, Slider puts his fate into Maverick’s hands. It’s not the first time in his life, and it certainly won’t be the last, but giving Maverick free rein still sends a chill down his spine. He’s not a bad guy—Slider never would’ve let Ice get tangled up with him if he weren’t—but there’s something about him that could make even the most hardened naval aviator flinch.

They start off the night at a respectable Navy bar. Maverick buys them all a round of shots, and with a smirk, breaks out one of the three phrases he knows in Russian (To our health!) and downs the shot in one go. Slider, Ice, and Merlin follow suit. He has to fight a grimace when he comes back up. The asshole bought them vodka, even though the only one of them who still has a taste for it is Ice.

Typical.

Three hours and two bars later, Slider has regrets. He can’t remember how many drinks he’s had, and he hasn’t seen Merlin in at least forty-five minutes. He wants to be concerned about that, but he can’t bring up the energy to care. Mitchell’s all but killed his liver.

He stumbles through the crowd towards the bar, because he thinks he remembers seeing Ice’s stupidly-spiked, gelled hair around there. God, he hopes he still has his wallet on him somewhere. He crashes into a stool and hoists himself up, flagging down a bartender for a glass of seltzer, and she doesn’t charge him for the service. He must be really shitfaced if that’s the case.

He lifts his head when he hears Ice’s voice through the din.

“Mav, Mav!” he laughs. He slurs over the a just a bit, and oh, Ice must be really out of it if he’s tripping over his words.

Slider turns his head slowly to get Ice’s attention, and instead is treated to the image of Mitchell’s shortstack frame trying to support all six-foot-oh of Ice against the bartop.

“I like your stupid face,” Ice says, staring Mitchell down with all the intensity of a bird of prey. “It’s so stupid. It’s so… I like it. Can I touch it?”

Ice lifts a hand but is too uncoordinated to follow through. Slider snorts, drawing Maverick’s attention.

“Slider! Hey, buddy! How was your night?” he asks cheerfully, holding onto Ice’s waist.

“If I didn’t know better, I’d say you were trying to kill me,” Slider returns.

“Aw, but that’s how you know I care! C’mon, we gotta get the Iceman home before he ralphs in the bathroom. You know he’d hate to do that.”

So Slider helps his pilot and his wingman into a taxi at the end of the night and falls face-first into the couch in Ice’s living room like he’s still the twenty-something he was when they met, while Maverick wrangles Ice into bed.

And if he hears Maverick’s overly-loud whispering and Ice’s grunted responses from down the hall in the darkest hours, just before dawn, “Do you know what you said at the bar? I wanted to laugh, but you were so sincere, Ice. God. You really can’t hold your alcohol like I can anymore. Benefits of teaching TOPGUN! I like your face, too, Ice. I’ll always like your face. It’s a good face. I love you, Ice,” well…

Perhaps he’s too drunk to remember it in the morning.

[petrichormore]

So about 4halo “dying…”

I’m watching the clip where Forever shows Baghera the book and supposedly “friendzones” Bad because I didn’t actually see the full thing and… why did people think the ship is dead? (I know Forever apparently revived it hours later but bear with me).

Because from where I’m standing, it’s perfectly fine? It’s been more dead in the past. So let’s break the scene down:

(Scene Analysis under cut - I felt like I was watching something straight out of a romcom movie. Also the following is about the CHARACTERS)

So. Forever shows Baghera the book and Baghera asks if he feels the same way. Forever says, “There’s a problem, Baghera - I love him back. (Pause) I love him back, but as a friend.”

Baghera goes “really?” because she’s skeptical and Forever claims that his “heart can’t take it anymore.” (Obviously in reference to Philza breaking it.) He then goes on to say that “After what happened to Philza, I think [thought] I had enough of it.”

I’d like to pause here to point out that at no point in this conversation does Forever sound confident in what he’s saying - he’s uncharacteristically shaken and unsure throughout. He uses phrases like “I thought” and “I’m trying” instead of “I know” and “I am” which imply uncertainty. He phrases his statements like questions, as though he doesn’t know what’s going on in his own mind.

Anyway, Forever says he likes Bad “as a friend” but his reasoning is literally just “I’m not ready for this right now” which… makes no sense to say if the first statement is true. If you aren’t interested in someone, you probably don’t justify by claiming you aren’t ready - because it’s just a fact relating to the other person. Saying “Oh there’s a big problem - I like this person as a friend because my heart can’t take the pain of heartbreak anymore!” Like. That doesn’t really make sense, does it?

He also tries to bring up a conversation dramatrio had a while back about how friendship is better (based, btw) - but to me it honestly just sounds as though he’s trying to convince himself rather than making a statement. Again, he sounds very confused. In response, Baghera points out that “not everyone is happy” with just friendship.

Forever also seems to be just generally confused with Bad’s behavior, as he sees it as uncharacteristic (which it is) and therefore disingenuous. This actually seems to be the main source of distress for him: whether or not Bad actually loves him. He talks to Baghera about how he doesn’t even know if it’s real because it’s so unlike Bad - Baghera agrees that it’s strange coming from Bad, but she believes Richarlyson when he says the book is genuine. Forever doesn’t, and later on in the stream he apparently reveals that he doesn’t understand how Bad could love him in a romantic sense and doesn’t want to be drawn in to something that might not be real? (Maybe???) As Forever is still streaming, I can’t go over it but I will when I can. Either way, this doesn’t seem like the type of worry a person who doesn’t reciprocate any romantic feelings would have? Like cool story bro but this really shouldn’t be relevant if your only feelings are platonic?

And Baghera? Baghera literally notices this! She sees Forever’s indecisiveness and says “Okay, but if you don’t like him like that, well, it’s not a question, you know?” She calls him out on it directly.

And Forever doesn’t acknowledge it at all. He just moves on and says that if Bad had approached him when he first joined, he would’ve been delighted to add another boyfriend in alongside Philza [Specifically, he brings up a song about Snow White and the phrase ‘Why have just one when I could have seven?] This, while funny as hell, has nothing to do with the conversation and it honestly comes across as Forever trying to examine his own feelings and failing miserably.

Baghera asks “So you’re sure you don’t want anything to happen with Bebou?”

Forever responds “yeah” and then immediately follows it up with “The problem is that after what happened, I’m really…” So ‘yeah’ is not an actual answer here, just a transitional word. (And again, notice the strange justification. The problem apparently not a lack of romantic attraction?)

Baghera follows that up by asking if Forever doesn’t want a relationship with Bad because he has been hurt by his previous ‘relationship’, or because he has no romantic interest in Bad specifically. Forever… doesn’t answer. He says, “Yeah, that’s a good question because I don’t even know if he likes me like that, or if he just loves me as a friend.” Once again, ‘yeah’ is not an answer, just a transition. Congratulations, Forever, you specified exactly nothing.

And thennnnn Forever is back to being worried over whether or not Bad likes him or like-likes him (it’s like they’re all gossiping 10 year olds hehe). He’s scared to ask him directly because he doesn’t want to “hurt him” (by ‘him’, I mean BBH) but it really just sounds like he’s a goddamn coward (affectionate) and is using that as an excuse. Especially since he phrases it like a question.

Baghera decides to take pity on him and offers to sneakily question Bad about it and then report back, which Forever immediately agrees to (it’s the most enthusiastic he sounds during the entire conversation). Forever than says that he really wants to “know what is happening” and to “take care of Badboy because he’s really important to me” (?? We all know, Forever, but okay cool I guess?? /j)

He finishes by reasserting (to himself, mostly) that he doesn’t want a relationship specifically because he’s trying to focus on his career, family, and friends (and because Philza broke his heart). He never says that he has no romantic interest in Bad besides the very first “as a friend” comment, and, in fact, somehow avoids saying it even when Baghera asks him directly to his face!

He honestly gives every reason for not wanting to be in a relationship except for “I’m not interested in the other person.” Like that’s the one thing he doesn’t say.

So. Take that however you will.

[olreid]

riverdale is.. schrodinger's show? ??

lol re tags on this post i assume? this is actually alfie @hypokeimena's phrase #alfiepilled and literally just means that he does not watch the show but does watch us watch the show and so always at any time any plot point or series of events is possible because riverdale exists in a state of totipotency right up until the moment of viewing the footage to see what actually happened which again he crucially never does.

HOWEVER i have adopted this phrase into my own riverdale lexicon because i think it helps to get at something which is usually kind of difficult to articulate about riverdale's method. riverdale, more than your typical tv program, IS a show where anything can happen, and that quality has not changed or diminished over the course of its run. typically, in tv, as you build out the world and the characters, you become better able to predict what will happen next; the window of probable events grows smaller, even if only slightly. people pair off, foreclosing other relationships; they pick a career, choosing one life over other possible lives they might have lived. even shocking plot twists are operating under a set of basic rules that govern how the setting and the genre operate such that the overarching parameters of what is possible in the world don't change. but not so in riverdale! it's not committed to the sanctity of its own canon, which frees the team up to create a show that reminds me more of a collage; different narrative pieces get swapped around to see what kinds of meanings they might produce with very little preciousness about continuity or canonicity compared to other programs. different storylines are repeated by filtering them through new genres to see what emerges. season 7's premise is a perfect example of this!

the other thing about riverdale that makes it schrodinger's show to me is that it is always operating on multiple registers of reality simultaneously, so that any number of things might be happening at once depending on how you're reading it. for example, in the season 3 g&g plot, many episodes are framed by games of g&g that precisely mirror real-world events going on concurrently in town, e.g. jughead accurately describing archie's prison break as it's happening even though he's not physically there. maybe this is just an extradiegetic narrative device; maybe particular characters are omniscient or psychic in some way; maybe the game itself has powers that allow it to shape the world or the story; maybe riverdale itself only has a certain number of pre-set stories that it can tell. the list could go on. the point is that all of these are equally likely; riverdale does not privilege realism or groundedness, really the opposite, but neither does it often confirm for certain that something supernatural is happening. rather, the viewer is left to interpret for themselves; to choose between these options if they want, or perhaps instead to hold them all simultaneously. indeed, riverdale never forces you to pick, to narrow it down; in riverdale, more than any other show i've ever watched, you can have everything you want, and you can have it all at once, because there is no definitive reality, which means everything is pretty much equally (un)real. the cw is pioneering quantum television and we're here to witness it! what a time to be alive!!!

[ivesambrose]

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Gif 1

A sense of leadership and accountability will be awakened in you this month. For some towards others or their career/studies or pursuits and for some towards themselves. Maybe in the past few months people have told you to 'humble yourself' or have projected an energy of, 'well, you're not special. So be quiet.' which in turn made you second guess your own capabilities. Well, that is about to snap itself in half. Because you'll realize you do yourself a great deal of disservice when you give into this mindset. There's a fine line between humility and straight up imposter syndrome.

You'll also be feeling connected to the spiritual side of yourself. Now this is something very personal to you but you may feel as though you're receiving intuitive nudges or spiritual downloads. Mostly in the form of words, phrases, messages, texts etc. You may also be inclined to write or express yourself more. A part of your mind will be very analytical but in the sense that you'll have more discernment instead of giving into herd mentality.

There will be steady progress and even promotions for some or some of you might just pave your own way because you got tired of building things for others when you could surely use your talents elsewhere or for yourself.

Channel your aggression in any kind of sports or just brisk walking. Nearing the end of the month you'll feel very excited about something that makes you feel that the true summer of your life has just begun.

Gif 2

This month, remind yourself that every expert was once a novice that didn't give up. So if there's something you've always wanted to do but were too reluctant to try because you weren't already perfect at it, discard the perfectionism mindset and go for it.

You may really want to go back to a time of your life where things seemed more innocent and sweet before you got too hyper aware of everything and being a responsible adult took away the child like wonder that you once had. Please allow yourself to indulge and find beauty in everything.

Likely whilst revisiting this energy you'll figure out your true calling in life. You'll also realize the more fun you have or the more you engage in activities that just seem silly yet exciting, even as simple as watching a film and making that your personality for a week or discussing new or old things with a friend, the quicker you find clarity, confidence and things falling in place for you or manifestions coming in quicker.

You'll feel more in tune with your emotions without having to dissect them or discard them.

Some of you may also be drawn to flowers, floral designs or fragrances. Like I said, a childlike wonder towards things more. The more those aspects of you are catered to the happier and peaceful you'll be.

Towards the middle or end of the month you may have improptu travels and events to celebrate with your friends and family.

Some of you always have an ancestor or a late family member looking over you, they want you to realize your worth and take pride in yourself and your accomplishments and what you will be accomplishing ahead.

Gif 3

Romantic admirers and romance in general but a lot of healing when it comes to the wounds relating to the matters of the heart and relationships, doesn't have to be solely romantic relationships but the ones that were significant to you but caused you pain along the way.

I see you romanticizing your life this month, at least starting to. I literally heard, "this is my Sophia Copolla movie era, I do not care."

For some of my ladies and those who identify as women, if you were having issues related to let's say hormones or coming into your femininity in the past this will be a good month to recover and heal those.

You'll be putting yourself on the pedastal and focusing on your physical appearance, aesthetics, skin and hair health and well being. You just want to slow down, make a routine for yourself, see which supplements suit you best etc

Some of you may be wanting to get into a creative, intertaintment or fashion industry so you'll be making that your primary focus. There will be a lot of deep changes, lot of discarding the old story, old mindsets etc moving away from chaotic times to happier ones.

Some of the events in this month might just feel destined or that whatever is happening is leading you to your goal or life path. Keep a tunnel vision when it comes to your desires as priority.

[moldybonessmell]

The Umbrella Academy season 3 review post

I finally finished season 3 of tua even tho I've watched first two seasons first day they came out and oh boy do I have things to talk about-

To begin with, the things I like about new season:

- The way we finally dug into Allison's trauma and how she starts going psychotic is actually a good plot line especially the accent on how she just like any other Umbrella Academy people indulges in self-distructive behavior, she's really just like them

- Diego getting a kid as someone with the biggest daddy issues out there is a realistic plotline because having a kid (even if Stanley's not actually his) heals him in this regard tho he and Lila would get a kid anyway eventually but they really should've been more sad about Stanley thanosing out of the existence you know

- Five being the founder of The Temps Commission makes so much sense as he's the one with the power to travel time of course he's more powerful than it seemed

- Good music scenes. Music is what season 1 was incredible for and what I love about the show. In season 2 there weren't many scenes that caught my attention but in s3 it's definetely better. We got Klaus's death montage with "Crystallised" by The xx and celebration scene with "Another one bites the dust" by Queen + Luther on moon and "Friday I'm in Love" by The Cure these were really nice.

- The Oblivion Hotel is such a cool location and concept (a place for everyone) I like the change of place of action a lot, but the way it's a portal is kinda overused imo

- Lila and Five are still the best characters and carried the season

- Fei is such a cool chara with a distict character design (which most of Sparrow Academy lack tbh)

Now things I don't like:

- Ben being just a placeholder character is such a bummer because instead of getting angst and drama we got a mostly one-dimentional anti-hero who has a completely different personality from Ben. We got a tiny bit of his character when he admitted he just wants to be involved with everyone but it's really minimal.

I can't believe Klaus says "He's an asshole and he's dead to me" like WHAT DO YOU MEAN fuck no Klaus would not say that shit and he would not just give up on him. Yeah Luther says stuff like "I'm glad to see you even if you're different" or whatever but it's Klaus who've spent the most time with Ben.

The way literally any other actor could have played Sparrow Ben and nothing would change is lame af I hope in next season we will see more changes

- Same goes to my dear Grace who's just a placeholder for black hole worshipper like what do you mean we just got one phrase from Diego and that's it??? This whole bit with fake god and stuff really threw me off it didn't go anywhere

- The Sparrow Academy being one-dimentional characters in general like I get producers probably didn't have enough episodes to actually develop characters but holy shit are they boring.

Even if you want to make them just antagonists we had such cool villains in two previous seasons they were original and interesting (aka The powerless podcast-fan male manipulator Peabody and The Cunty Handler)

Also the way the fisrt Sparrows who died were the most annoying and cliche assholes makes them just filler charas

- How show tried to make us feel compassion to Reginald Hargreeves holy shit do I hate this guy- After Klaus realised his father was basically killing him over and over in his childhood instead of Klaus getting mad or upset and having a breakdown we got nothing.

He even came back to new timeline Reginald who's "nicer" for this asshole just to hurt him AGAIN

- Klaus mostly being a comic relief in this season is so fucked I love this character and in previous seasons we had a great look at his life and experiences but now he's just kinda there being high and that's it

"mm I guess he died a few times it's probably enough" - plot writers

no character development whatsoever is just upsetting.

And the amount of unnecessary traumatising aka Reginald training him was really not it, even if it's supposed to be a joke.

- Reginald being a two-faced ass like holy shit is this terrifying. Pogo was the one who gave Sparrows pills and now Klaus helped him to stop taking them and this asshole is taking advantage of naive and vulnerable Klaus.

It is in fact a good plot twist but bro I really did prefer Reginald being a cartoonish villian instead of actual pure evil like how does he have shitty motivation but still does just so much shit.

- The Umbrella Academy family having no improvement in their relationship. They still don't care Klaus relapsed, they still don't care about Viktor. All they care about is their own misery which is really in character but with three seasons out of the way and only one more left I would expect at least something you know.

- Viktor is still left out. Like bro the only compassion he had is only when he transitioned but this is it?? Bro's still waiting till someone comes and cares about him but not only this doesn't happen, he even gets rediculed by Sparrow Ben for that and called emo are you actually kidding me what's with all the hurt with no comfort???

It feels a lot like when you're mentally ill and your family kinda "walks on eggshells" to not trigger you but it's in quotes because they don't actually care. They act nice just because they think you're psycho and you would make less problems if they pretend. And this is very sad, Viktor is such a tragic character.

Okay that's it for now. If you have any thoughts please share in comments!

[caus34concern]

i'm tired of pretending that play rehearsal/theater isn't some sort of escape mechanism for christine and that she doesn't have a ton of underlying issues so here's this thing

an escape mechanism is a mental process which enables a person to avoid acknowledging unpleasant or threatening aspects of reality.

"I look around, and everyone's hurting. I wish there was something real I could do to make things better, but I don't know how. So I guess I'll just do theater."

christine's whole character revolves around play rehearsal/theater and her passion for it. when it starts, she's happy. when it's over, she's sad. basically, on a surface level, her entire personality is just being an eccentric theater kid. theater could just be a hyperfixation of hers since she does have adhd, but hyperfixation itself can also be a coping mechanism in the way that sometimes it leads to the avoidance of your problems and instead just causes you to turn to your hyperfixation as a distraction which is basically just escapism. she mentions doing similar when she talks to jeremy right before the pitiful children in the bway production.

for a more in-depth analysis on how and why it's an escape mechanism, it's basically just rooted in how christine wants things to be easy. she said so herself in voices in my head. and that's why she enjoys theater. because it makes her life easy. everything is planned out in a script and there's no uncertainty or pressure of having to decide what to do. she doesn't have to worry about making mistakes or sudden surprises or going off-topic into some tangent because everything is planned. if something happens in a play, it probably happened for a reason, and that reason ultimately usually leads to a happy ending.

another thing about theater she likes is acting. she mentions in a guy that i'd kinda be into that she doesn't relate to other people her age unless she's on stage which is basically just her indirectly saying that she feels disconnected to others and only feels connected when she's on stage. when she's playing a role. when she's acting as someone else. basically, she only connects with people when she pretends to be someone who she's not. in addition, she says in i love play rehearsal that the only time she gets to be the center of attention is when she's acting. there's also this line from the i love play rehearsal demo where she says that when she's being praised on stage she feels like she's in control but then remembers it's just the role she's acting which gives another example of how she uses theater and acting as an escape mechanism. she uses it to feel in control because, as mentioned previously, with a script she won't have to worry about what comes next. she feels in control knowing that everything will work out in the end, but then she remembers that that isn't actually her life and she's merely just acting out someone else's. so she actually isn't in control. her story doesn't have a script to follow or have an ending to be happy about yet.

now onto some of her underlying issues. acting and her lack of sense of self kind of go hand in hand. you know the phrase "losing yourself in a role"? yeah, take that but make it literal and that's christine. due to her often playing roles and acting as someone else, she loses her sense of self. and since she has no friends or at least isn't shown to have any, she has no way of telling what her "true self" is. maybe if she had a friend, they'd be able to tell her that she wasn't herself or that what she was doing was something she wouldn't usually try doing, but since she doesn't, she doesn't know what her true self is. she doesn't know herself outside of the role she acts. she doesn't know herself outside of theater which is practically her life. even jake fell in love with her acting rather than her. the reason jake liked her is because seeing her acting made him feel something and that's all it ever was. the reason they broke up is because "she wasn't juliet". christine was mostly reduced to and liked for her acting by jake. jake didn't like her for her.

and it's due to her lack of sense of self that makes her subconciously a people pleaser. she doesn't realize because she finds it natural to pretend to be someone she's not. she doesn't realize because she doesn't have a sense of self to begin with. christine mentions in i love play rehearsal that she wonders if she's living up to all she's meant to be. at first, maybe it's about her acting. something like am living up to the expectations of those around me? but with her previous issues taken into account, it might instead be am i showing people who i actually am instead of who i can be? jake said something similar himself in the bway version of upgrade. he asks christine when was the last time she tried something new that wasn't on stage. she's been limiting herself to a life on stage and grown used to acting as someone else to the point that she's never actually able to "live up to all she's meant to be".

ok that's it i just really needed to get this thing out of my system, and i hope this causes one less person to mischaracterize christine or water her down to an eccentric theater kid with adhd because that girl is so insecure and sad

[shakespearenews]

In 2019, Sandra Hüller, one of Germany’s foremost stage and film actors, starred as Hamlet in a production at the Schauspielhaus Bochum, in the Ruhr Valley. For most performers, the part is challenge enough. But as Hüller prepared for the role with the theatre’s artistic director, Johan Simons, their discussions kept drifting to the character who animates Hamlet’s fantasies of revenge: his father’s ghost. In most stagings, ghastly makeup and lighting convey that the character is spectral. Could this lingering spirit be conjured without melodramatic clichés? Simons and Hüller agreed that it would be potent for the father to rise from within the son—speaking through him. As Simons recently described the conceit, “The father is so deep in your soul that you can’t get away from him—he is always in you.”

In the opening scene of the modern-dress, German-language production, Hüller stood alone onstage, her hands hanging uselessly by her sides, her eyes downcast. In a trembling near-whisper, she spoke lines that Shakespeare originally wrote for Hamlet’s friend Horatio: “If there be any good thing to be done, / That may to thee do ease and grace to me, / Speak to me.” Hüller smiled faintly to hold back tears, and her voice broke as she muttered, “You are here, you are here.”

When it came time for Hamlet’s encounter with the Ghost, an eerie chord resounded, and Hüller’s soft, breathy voice suddenly dropped an octave. She was no longer Hamlet, or not entirely. “Pity me not!” Hüller said, her eyes hardening and her voice quickening as she channelled the Ghost: “I am thy father’s spirit, / Doom’d for a certain term to walk the night, / And for the day confined to fast in fires, / Till the foul crimes done in my days of nature / Are burnt and purged away.” As Hüller played it, Hamlet wasn’t seeing a ghost; he was being possessed by it. Hüller’s previously gentle demeanor was displaced by lurching motion, and when the Ghost furiously commanded his son’s obedience—“List, list, O, list!” in Shakespeare’s original—she practically vomited up the words: “Hör, hör, o, hör! ”

The scene was as scary to watch as any horror movie, but it also felt profound: the sins of the old were literally infecting the bodies of the young, emphasizing the generational rot at the heart of the play. German critics hailed Hüller’s performance as revelatory—not just as an examination of character but as an exploration of the capacities of stage art. Der Spiegel said that witnessing Hüller wrestle with Hamlet and the Ghost simultaneously was like watching “an exorcism.”

Before the show opened, Hüller read an essay that portrayed “Hamlet” as a critique of the conventions of Renaissance revenge tragedy—and of the society from which those conventions emerged. “Shakespeare wrote the play at the edge of these times when blood revenge was still a thing,” she told me recently. “Shakespeare’s showing it one more time, but in the most absurd way—because everybody’s dead at the end. The play is saying, ‘This can’t be the way.’ ” At the Schauspielhaus Bochum, the climactic duel between Hamlet and Laertes swerved away from physical violence: neither combatant would make the first move. Instead, Hüller and Dominik Dos-Reis, the actor playing Laertes, hurled the phrase “fang an”—“start”—back and forth, battling not just each other but the demand for a bloody confrontation. The moment culminated, as it does in Shakespeare’s text, in an unexpected gesture of forgiveness. “They shake hands before they die, and say, ‘We don’t want to be like our fathers,’ ” Hüller said. “And, to me, that is something that applied to the world as it is now. That seemed to be something that I could identify with. Not to redo all the things that our ancestors have done before but to change them—to break the chain.”

Hüller liked that the production showed the effect of violence without actually showing violence. “When you show violence, I believe, it must have a strong form,” she told me. “You can’t treat it like any other sort of narrative in a story. It means something when you show a rape onstage, or when somebody gets slapped in the face onstage. It is crossing a line.” Her voice, usually soft, shifted to a more forceful register. “I have heard a lot of directors point out, ‘Yeah, but that’s what’s in the story,’ ” she continued. “I know what’s in the story. But still, I can decide, because I am the artist, what to show of it, and what not. I can decide how I want to shape the world that we are building onstage.”