#you could tell EVERYTHING about how stede and ed would have sex for the first time

[beelxebub]

sometimes i see people complain about sex scenes and i come back to tumblr (and ao3 lol) and i swear you people fucking get it. an entire ship dynamic can be perfectly encapsulated into a sex scene

[eph-em-era]

hey so i am so so pleased they hired an intimacy coordinator this time around! and you can tell that the actors are much more comfortable too! the intimacy is much much better!!

let's do a lil intimacy breakdown from my knowledge as an IC in training and a director just in general

(this is a long post so it's under the cut)

fact is, there's some awkwardness in the ed/stede s1 kiss, which i am ninety percent sure is due to body placement. i'd wager there was a discussion on set that was like "hey this is a stunning shot, we love what it looks like, let's get the actors in" and they got the actors in and got to the blocking for the kiss and everyone was like "hey this is a bit awkward but we'll muscle through" - cause that awkwardness fits the character arcs.

but it's not actually all that easy turning all the way to one side to kiss someone without moving where your legs are! it's weird! it's an awkward angle! - or more accurately, it's the angle that two people would kiss at if it was a very impulsive, awkward surprise; or if your two lead actors are very good friends faced with playing lovers for the first time and not sure what to feel about that (we've all been there) - there's reticence, but it fits the scene so it's fine.

(Lucius and Pete and Olu and Jim also have moments of intimacy, which for the most part are fine, and I suspect that's a combo of a) their staging is SO MUCH BETTER, b) character choices, c) different directors and d) less of that "OMG WE'RE PLAYING LOVERS NOW" anxiety)

~~onto season 2~~

for the record, intimacy direction isn't just for kissing/sex scenes, ICs can come in for intimacy building exercises and additional blocking, as well as things like nudity, childbirth or any similar sensitive work, but I'm going to be talking mostly about kisses in this. anyway!

Beautiful! Kind, lovely, tender! The backdrop is super nice too. Honestly, the Lucius/Pete stuff has really been so nice all the way along; that's great casting! Especially in S2E5, everything reads as very earnest and space is used very well.

Archie and Jim. Now, we don't have anything to compare it to from S1, but I'm flagging it cause yeah, they definitely have similar staging to Ed/Stede from S1E09. I would say there's a much better range of movement in this one, likely because they're sitting on the floor, braced against the bed, so they can compensate for the weird angle better than E/S could. This might come off as a lil rude but it's also more likely that these two actors are slightly more flexible and can make this staging work better than Taika and Rhys.

Cannot for the LIFE OF ME find a gif of their hug, but they have fantastic chemistry! despite only showing up for like 2/3s of one episode. I've seen people whining about how they absolutely should have kissed - and you know what, I would have liked that too!

however, I suspect that what happened here was that one or both of the actors didn't want to kiss on screen, and voiced their objections to the IC, who found a work around. It was likely not cause of any kind of ill will or homophobia, for the record - sometimes you just don't want to kiss people. Maybe you're sick, maybe you're feeling weird, maybe you're just not in the right headspace, but a kiss might be off the cards that day.

This is behaviour we want to encourage, btw. The goal is to ensure that actors feel comfortable and that the shot isn't be all end all. I've done something very similar, we had 20 mins to get the blocking done and the actors weren't at a point where kissing felt comfy, so we did a kiss on the cheek and a hug.

it is better that the actors are comfortable than your ship is fulfilled.

Hey yknow what I was saying about how ICs aren't just used for blocking, they're used for chemistry building? That's what they've HIT ON HERE. This is genuinely a very lovely kiss. It's deeply appropriate for the characters, and it's private and simple. things get a little more raunchy, and hands start moving, but then it's stopped, for a narrative reason, and the chemistry remains with the hand hold. It's really very nice, well blocked and well performed. the hand placement! the tenderness! it's great. there's none of that s1 reticence, whether that was from characters or actors.

I think the intimacy work, much like the writing and the characterisation is much, much stronger in this season, and that's to the show's benefit. I know we're only halfway through, but I'm thoroughly interested to see where things go in the remaining episodes. I will update this post if anything exciting crops up in the final five.

and this is why you need to hire ICs! they make life easier for actors, directors and crew alike!!

[celluloidbroomcloset]

I do not at all think that Ed means it when he tells Stede that "last night was a mistake," or at least not in the way that it sounds and that Stede likely takes it.

Ed starts the day incredibly happy and relaxed, and only begins to get increasingly worried and upset when it becomes clearer not just that Stede is popular after the murder of Ned Low, but that Stede is enjoying that popularity. It's Stede gaining all the things he's said he wanted from the first day they met—to be like Blackbeard, even for a little while. It's obvious that Ed doesn't want to try to take that from him, if that's what he wants, and equally obvious that Ed cannot be a pirate anymore.

But Ed is invested in the relationship. He hardly knows how to define it or how he could define it, as he tells Stede, but he knows how he feels about Stede, and there's every indication that their having sex has only made those feelings stronger. He prefaces the mistake comment with "I told you I needed to take things slow and it's been anything but" (also unfair, since Stede did not push Ed into having sex and Ed very enthusiastically consented). So the mistake seems to be more about how everything has gone further into making him want to be with Stede. He can't really protect himself anymore, because they did cross a line when they slept together. They have to define their relationship in some way now, which Ed doesn't want to do because it would make it real and solid...and would make it hurt that much more if Stede leaves him again.

Given that Stede leaving the last time contributed to him nearly killing himself, it's hardly surprising he wants to run away from even the possibility of that happening again.

[goayda]

Stranger Things Have Happened

(* Reposting the whole thing in a new post because I don't know how to order this any other way)

(* Set at some point after the bar conversation in episode 2x07, you know the one, everything after that scene doesn't exist in this verse)

So what if... what if Stede and Izzy have sex after Ed left because, well, Stede is free to be with other people, right? And there is some fondness now there, equally mixed with some fun bickering and teasing, and they really understand each other and the heartbreak that comes with loving Edwar Teach. And you add a lot of rum and some lingering touches and well, things happen, right?

And when Stede wakes up the next morning with a bit of a hungover and sees a naked Izzy sleeping next to him, he feels so happy and he can't stop staring at Izzy and how relaxed he looks in the morning light, but then... then he starts overthinking it, of course. What if he was too fast again? What if he is TooMuch and Izzy finds it annoying? What if it was supposed to be just a one time thing? He doesn't want it to be just that, but he doesn't want to make it weird!

So when Izzy wakes up, Stede tries to play it 'cool', aiming for nonchalant and totally missing, looking more like 'totally indifferent'. And Izzy, who has been getting better at the whole 'feelings and stuff' thing, but has still a lot to learn, well, he tries to go on with his life and goes back to work because it was a good fuck and that was all, wasn't it? What else was he expecting, really? It is not as if Stede was going to start holding his hand or anything, not that Izzy wanted that anyway, because that ridiculous softness is not for pirates like himself... right?

So things get weird, of course. And the crew notices because they are not blind. Stede keeps trying to play it cool and avoids touching Izzy at all costs even though he really wants to and Izzy tries to avoid Stede claiming to be 'just busy' and having work to do 'somewhere else', but it is painful for both of them.

And surprisingly, it's Izzy the one who eventually tries to talk about that night with Stede, trying to tell him that it meant something to him, but he doesn't really know what words to use or how to explain 'feelings' and it really frustrates him. And Stede sees Izzy's frown and annoyed look and thinks that Izzy regrets that night and then doubles down on the casually indifferent pose. Which convinces Izzy that, no, Stede is not interested at all in him. Obviously.

And while this painful mess of a conversation is happening, the whole crew has managed to shamelessly gather around to listen to it and they are witnessing that trainwreck of a conversation looking like the people in that scene from the IT Crowd:

The crew is watching these two idiots having two completely different conversations at the same time without even noticing and when Izzy finally walks away defeated and Stede goes back to his cabin, his fake smile crumbling, they decide to have an emergency meeting.

They agree they can't let this keep going on, because it could turn into a right mess and well, yes, also because they care about their two idiots, so they decide Somebody has to talk to them and they obviously agree that Somebody has to be Lucius.

And Lucius sighs dramatically because why him? But deep down he knows he is the best for the job and also, Pete is looking at him encouragingly so how could he refuse?

So he graciously agrees and first he goes to talk to Stede. Making him admit his real feelings for Izzy takes Lucius five minutes, but the Captain spends half an hour praising Izzy's traits and dramatically refusing to believe that the First Mate could return his feelings.

He does believe Lucius eventually and oh, he can't stop smiling then.

When Lucius goes to talk to Izzy, though, Stede decides to devise a fuckery to make Izzy admit his real feelings for him, like in the romance books he knows. It sounds great in his head and surely Lucius would agree with him, but the young man seems to be busy so Stede goes to convince one of his friends from the Republic to help him with the plan.

Meanwhile, Lucius tries to explain things to Izzy, but it doesn't go great. The man only grunts and glares and Lucius isn't even sure he is listening to a word he says so he eventually decides to leave and try some other time.

He doesn't have the chance to because the next day, Stede pulls the fuckery right the moment they set foot on port: a masked man shoots him on the chest and while he 'bleeds out' on the ground he calls for Izzy.

Stede is hoping for a dramatic love declaration (and surely some tears and then a passionate kiss), but Izzy just looks... terrified and heartbroken and he is speechless... right until he notices the fake blood and realizes it's all a trick.

Then Stede gets a punch on the face and Izzy walks back to the ship in silence. And the crew doesn't bother him on his way there and sure as hell no one mentions the tears Izzy is trying to hold back.

Certainly Stede hasn't seen them because he is hunched over, trying to stop the nosebleed and wondering why his plan hasn't been a success.

Also the masked man AKA Sneaky Dave, Stede's friend, got a shot on the shoulder for all his troubles, but it could have been worse if Black Pete's aim had been any better

And once again Lucius is tasked with talking to Stede (and ugh, helping him with the nosebleed, because it's not stopping yet) so he can understand what went wrong (everything) and why it wasn't a great idea (not even a so-so one).

The punch might have helped making a point because it doesn't take long for Stede to look crestfallen and slightly embarrased.

And yes, Stede does understand now that Izzy might not be the type to appreciate the romantic scenery as much as he does and that maybe faking a deadly wound had been a bit too much, but he still thinks that using the word 'traumatic' is going too far, no matter what Lucius says.

Stede is devastated because he has messed things up again, even when he had tried so hard to do it right this time, but Lucius insists it's not too late and encourages him (more like pleads) to be honest with Izzy.

"Just TALK to him," Lucius says. "That idiot loves you."

Meanwhile, Jim, Fang and Frenchie are hanging out on the deck with Izzy, trying to show their support, but it has been ages and Izzy just keeps staring at the sea from the railing without saying a word. Frenchie and Fang are worried that Izzy might be planning on jumping overboard. Jim just thinks it's a nice and quiet sunset.

Eventually Stede goes to talk to Izzy and as the crew starts walking away to give them some privacy (they are going to stay not far away, eavesdropping, obviously), Jim simply whispers to Izzy "Just talk to him, that idiot loves you."

And since there is not really much to lose (he doesn't fear his new Captain would take his other leg or even a toe because of his insubordination) and he is not a coward (not anymore), Izzy takes a deep breath and looks at Stede and waits.

And Stede can't hide his nerves and he blushes and falters, but he manages to tell Izzy that he certainly doesn't regret the night they spent together, that he does cherish the memories of that moment and that he would very much like to make more *coughs* memories together... if Izzy wanted to. If Izzy wanted him.

And Izzy simply stares at Stede's stupidly handsome face and kind eyes and there is a 'Fuck off' ready on the tip of his tongue, but he just shakily says "Yes" and he means so many things he doesn't know how to say, but Stede smiles brightly and seems to understand (some of) them.

Stede looks at Izzy's shy smile and he thinks it's breathtaking and beautiful and so sweet and when he takes a step and curls his hand around Izzy's neck to kiss him, he doesn't hesitate.

For a moment the memory of another kiss under the moonlight threatens to cloud Stede's happiness, but then Izzy kisses him back and he realizes this is a different kiss, a different feeling, a different Stede even, and he sighs softly into the kiss and lets himself be happy.

They kiss softly and lazily against the railing for a long time and when they finally decide to retire to the captain's cabin, Stede holds Izzy's hand as they walk there side by side.

[lesbianballofgender]

Okay but in all seriousness the writing of season two is perfect to portray exactly who Ed and Stede are and who they’ve always been. If David Jenkins had said “fuck it” and given them a happy ending right away it would’ve been magic, but so false. Stede and Ed aren’t perfect like that so a perfect and easy ending isn’t correct for them.

They’re going through another break up over the pettiest of shit (I mean a fish for fuck sake) but that’s exactly what Stede and Ed would do. Because we all know it’s not actually about a fish. As Ed was running away he said ‘fishermen and pirates are nothing alike’ which just surfaces a whole bunch of new things they need to talk through. Because in that scenario Stede is the pirate and Ed is the fisherman, a complete 180 to season one’s dilema where Ed’s the pirate and Stede an Aristocrat. Stede knows it’s not the real reason he’s leaving because he even yells ‘it’s not about that’ to which Ed yells back ‘it’s everything about that! It’s everything about fishing!’ yet there’s no reason it would be. Ed is making up an excuse because he’s afraid. He kept repeating how he wanted to take things slow yet (like he mentions) everything has been doing the exact opposite. They had sex but I don’t just mean that. Stede also was very close to confessing his love for him, which to Edward I’m sure would be a huge deal as no one has probably ever loved him truly and purely before in that way. And I’m not being funny but especially a man. Ed killed his own Father and as far as we know the only person to have loved him (besides like ig Izzy) is his Mother. So it may be difficult for him to accept love especially from another man because he never received it growing up. The entire episode ‘man on fire’ also highlights exactly how truly whim-prone Ed and especially Stede are. It doesn’t take much for Stede to get swept away by praises from his fans, enough so he even gets his ear pierced. And Ed deciding to become a fisherman from catching one fish is really… the best example.

Even in ‘Calypso’s birthday’ when Ned calls Stede Ed’s ‘pet’ it brings about these doubts Stede could have about Ed’s true feelings for him that, paired with ‘Man on fire’, is fucking incredible. Because right after Stede has been told that his boyfriend only likes him because ‘of his bumbling amateur status’ he changes completely, kills two men (Ned and the man on fire), has gay sex for the first time, gets his ear pierced and a bunch of people start to get tattoos of him on their bodies. These doubts need resolving though but instead of talking it out, of course his initial response is to bottle it/have sex… though it isn’t like he was given much of a chance to bring it up to talk about it because Ed ran away (a response that is so fucking accurate to both of them as characters).

I’d just like to point out that I love the detail of Stede always preaching for everybody to ‘talk it through as a crew’ yet I swear he has never practised what he preaches. This man running away back to Mary instead of talking his feeling out but telling the crew to share their thoughts is one of the most realistic thing about his character.

No one can say this show has bad writing. The inevitable conflict was hinted at so many times throughout the season. Ed and Stede could’ve never stayed happy as soon as they met up in ‘Fun and games’ because Stede still hadn’t met his goal of being a known pirate (his whole goal from season one) plus he literally ran away from having a normal life so of course he wasn’t going to give up the seas quite yet while Ed has been so clearly saying he’s done with pirating for a long time. The entire persona of ‘Jeff’ is the only evidence we need. He wants a normal life, not as Blackbeard but as ‘Edward Teach born on a beach’ or as ‘Jeff’ - the innkeeper or accountant. It’s impossible not to pick up on this. Even the line ‘you wear fine things well’ is just this idea incarnate. They both say it to each other on severed occasions, it being a complement showing their adoration for one another. When Ed tells Stede those words it’s a comedic moment because he’s relaying Stede’s words, it’s sweet because they kiss and it’s such an obvious thing to say because Stede is (as he put it in ‘a gentleman pirate’) landed gentry so of course it suits him. Yet when Ed’s being told he looks good in nice things it’s the best thing someone has ever told him, because Stede looks past him being a pirate and a murderer and says “hey, that suits you”. No one has ever seen him as someone worth anything more so he feels seen more then he ever has before. That one line is so powerful and that’s probably why it’s repeated in season 2; because it feels like proof they will end up back together again.

They don’t understand their own feelings half the time, they’re whim-prone and they’re very good at running away, however they see one another for who they are and so far have always found their way back to each other.

[londonspirit]

Paste Magazine: Going back to the fan reaction to Season 1, a second season seemed assured. But then major management and content shifts were happening at WBDiscovery and Max, which delayed the pick-up. When you finally did get the Season 2 order, did you fundamentally change your thoughts about the story you wanted to tell?

David Jenkins: No. I think they’ve been a dream to work with. Every time I’ve made something, there’s been major corporate upheaval and I am starting to think that every time anybody makes something, particularly now, there’s major corporate upheaval. The first season of this television show took place in one era. The second took place in still another era that has since ended. And if there was going to be a third season, it would take place in an entirely new era.Throughout it all, we’ve had the same execs. Suzanna Makkos has been with the show for both of those seasons and they’ve been nothing but supportive. 

In terms of us in the [writers’] room, we just try to mind our own business, and make sure we can pay for everything.

Paste: As the season has progressed, have you been surprised by the audience’s reaction to any particular story lines?

Jenkins: Well, I’m not trying not to be as plugged in as I was in the first season. I’m just trying to let it have its own life. But I love how excited everybody was about Izzy (Con O’Neill) singing. Everyone wants the full “La Vie en Rose” recording from Con, which is beautiful. 

I love that Ed and Stede getting together and having sex was not a titanic explosion. It was more like, “Of course they’re gonna have sex. They’re together, so that beat is gonna happen.” And I love the general acceptance of Buttons (Ewen Bremner) turning into a bird, which is the most ludicrous story point. 

Paste: Our Flag Means Death has such a passionate LGBTQ fandom and that audience has been burnt many times before with promised “ships” that have ended badly, or with the painful “bury your gays” trope. Going into “Mermen,” this fandom was sweating with anxiety, but you gifted them a love letter. Did their expectations feel especially weighty when writing the finale?

Jenkins: It felt like the opposite, and the wind was in our sails. We could fully go into these storylines with all of these different characters and [know] people are invested in all of these relationships. Doing things when we’re writing that excite us and guessing—most of the time, correctly—that fans will love it is a great feeling. The thing we’re trying to do, in the room, is [ask]: do we like it, does it surprise us, and does it feel exciting? And the room has a spectrum of sexualities, so it’s just making sure that, “Hey, we doin’ okay? Does everybody feel good about what we’re putting out there?”

When you have a show, you run the Deathstar, essentially. You’re shooting this beam out into the culture, that if you aren’t paying attention, you could do a lot of damage. I think particularly for this season, that “bury your gays” thing… I didn’t want to end on a downbeat for Ed and Stede. We did that in the first season. I like that there’s a lot of different flavors. It’s even a little melancholy because the Republic of Pirates got blown up. But there’s still more good things.

Paste: In the breaking of the season, how much changed while plotting out the season to the finale?

Jenkins: I wanted to start at the Republic of Pirates this season and end at the Republic of Pirates. And I knew I wanted the Republic of Pirates to be destroyed, ultimately. Within that, we are making a one-hour show on a half hour budget, on a half hour schedule. The questions then become: if we have a bar fight, and you have everyone fight, how big can we make it? And if we have everything blow up, how much can we blow up? Or if we have a fight, how big of a fight and what parts of the fight can you actually show? It’s about making something that felt like it had some heft and size to it. In the room, talking through it, as a showrunner I’m thinking, “Oh, man, we’re gonna put these department heads through hell. They’re gonna have to work so hard.” You already feel bad. 

Paste: That beach battle with Ed, Zheng, and Stede fighting in parallel with the moving cameras was impressive. 

Jenkins: It was the entire team working so well together when everybody’s fried by the end of the season. Like you hand the script to [costume designer] Gypsy Taylor and she sees that she has to come up with 200 English uniforms. She blanches, but then she nails it. And it’s an amazing team across the board. I think we all pull together because we like it. We want it to feel epic.

Paste: Was there much debate about any particular story line for the finale?

Jenkins: In terms of ending this season, it all felt right just in talking through it when we were in the room. It felt pretty intuitive. When you get to the third act of the story, things kind of settle in. There’s gonna be a funeral. We always knew we wanted a wedding at the end of the second season. And I knew that I wanted Stede and Ed to start an inn together. So once you have those beats, it’s kind of locked in. But I wasn’t prepared for the emotional weight that I feel when the crew sails off together and the parents are watching from the inn. It’s just lovely. 

Paste: Speaking of that funeral, Con O’Neill played Izzy’s journey across two seasons so beautifully. When did it come to you that his last words to Ed about just being himself were going to have such an impact?

Jenkins: It’s kind of a strange arc in that I knew we were going to put him through all these things, and I knew he would ultimately die. But I think him becoming a father figure to Ed in the last episode didn’t really dawn on us until we were breaking the last episode. Asking what would this man say to Ed at the end because they’ve been together through everything? He went from a troubled and downtrodden employee to a jilted lover to a discarded employee, to someone that is just trying to find his footing again—no pun intended—to actually becoming this guy’s parental figure on some level. And he’s one person who kind of raised Ed right, because Blackbeard usually kills his parental figures. So, it felt right and it felt like that’s how the mentor dies. The mentor in a story usually dies in the second act and then our hero has to go on and try to do it without them. It felt like the right journey for Izzy and a gratifying one for Condon.

Paste: OFMD doesn’t have a third season pick-up yet, so it’s a difficult feat for writers to thread the needle in a finale that gives audiences closure but also leaves enough story to continue. 

Jenkins: I don’t think it was a very hard thing to do. I think it was more that I felt a responsibility to leave Ed and Stede in a good place, at least for now. It’s not gonna go well. They’re not going to run a business well. Ed’s too much of a talker. Stede can’t focus. It’s gonna be challenging. 

Paste: So you have more stories to tell?

Jenkins: For a third season, I have a clear idea of the way through that so it will be good, big, and interesting. But not too big, Max. 

[sixstepsaway]

(I'm "Ed has a pain kink" anon) thank you!!! For validating my thoughts! I just was in the shower today washing my hair and thinking about Izzy's issues and went like. The math lady meme. Wait why do we think he's into pain if anything Ed-- and then I got out to look through the ao3 tags lol shower meta is the best.

Good point about Ed probably being unable to not be an active participant in whatever sex he's having without getting lost down another train of thought, I think if anything he's be like. A power bottom. Bossy! It's not even bc he's a Captain I'm honestly just thinking about the Blackbeard's Bar & Grill convo and how he acts when Izzy is trying to get him down from the harness.

Firm believer that Blackbonnet should be into weird shit and willing to try whatever comes into their heads like, they're both creative theater weirdos and unafraid to be weird at each other. Extremely involved role playing that may or may not end up getting them out of the mood entirely is canon as far as im concerned lmao but also Ed has a pain kink and would be very into sensation play as you said! And Stede is a little weird man letting loose for the first time in his life so once they make up there's like. A couple months to years of Experimenting With Kinks and Stede's game for whatever Ed's into just bc Ed's into it. Like they have nominally non-kinky sex sometimes but they're both very intense people if they only did vanilla stuff they'd get bored of the variety??

I feel like Ed would be into being a pillow princess in theory bc it's Stede making him Feel Things but then they try and he gets 5 minutes in before he's telling him exactly what to do bc he's royalty ain't he, follow orders mate! 30 minutes later they've worldbuilt an entire political plot into it and Stede has made himself a prince so he doesn't have to do what Ed says or get beheaded. They've changed position 3 times. Ed is getting really invested in his fantasy family's fantasy murder plotting. They're about two plot points away from coming so hard they blackout for a while bc this genuinely does it for them.

If you write masochist Ed I may cry for real

nonnie this detailed ask is everything i could ever want tbh

i want a fic with all of this for ed and stede.

and YES shower metas are the best thank you and the idea of Stede being a weird little man who lets loose with kinky Ed is just

chef's kiss, yes

[edactually]

Ed POV 2.4

Ed did not know who Lucius was besides Stede’s assistant, and he would deduce later if he had some competition for Stede’s affection, but holy fuck the man knew how to put a Grindr profile together. Where had he even got these photos of Stede from? Had Lucius made him pose for professional studio shots just to get good photos for the app?

Who the fuck cared, he looked so fucking delicious that Ed could eat him up with a spoon.

“All looks good to me, mate.” He said casually, as if he wasn’t imagining Stede pinning him against the couch with those strong arms. “Do you know what you’re actually looking for though? Helps to be clear about your intentions on these kinds of apps.”

“Intentions?” Those hazel eyes blinked so innocently that Ed could hardly believe it was the same man in the photo on the phone who looked like he could fuck Ed with just his eyes.

“You know the gist. Casual sex, dating, looking for love, all that. You got a preference?”

“Oh, um…” Stede trailed off, nibbling at his lower lip again and fuck all Ed could think about was capturing that lip between his own teeth and tugging on it until Stede moaned. “I’ve never thought about it. I’m so new to everything, I guess I’m open to all of it?”

Now it was Ed’s turn to hide the heat in his cheeks as he looked back to the phone in his hand. “You know a lot of people just use this as a hookup app, right? Meet up, casual sex, then part ways to never see each other again. You’re fine with that?”

He didn’t have to look up to know Stede’s face was red based on how much he was stammering. “Well, uh, it’s just, um… I don’t have any experience so I thought it best just to, er, try everything and see what I like?”

“In that case, I think your profile is fine. You said you never check the notifications? Do you mind if I take a look?”

“By all means.”

Yeah, Ed was not ready to see that. He didn’t know how long Stede had had the app, but the amount of likes and messages he had felt like it would take hours to scroll through all of them.

And he hated to admit it, hated that it had come to this after knowing Stede for such a short time, but Ed was jealous.

All these men, eyeing Stede up, sending him flirty messages and filthy ones trying to get in his pants, it was infuriating. Ed could hardly blame them, the only reason he’d met Stede in the first place was because he’d been trying to do the exact same thing, and he knew a ton of these guys would back off immediately if they knew Blackbeard was their competition. Ed felt weirdly possessive of Stede even though he knew he had no right.

And it was because he knew he had no right that he made his next suggestion. “You should try actually using the app.”

“I should?”

Stede wasn’t Ed’s. He had no right to cling onto him and keep him from getting out there and actually exploring his sexuality after suppressing it for so long. Ed could offer him an absolutely mind-blowing night, give him a story to tell about fucking the legendary Blackbeard, even if he got the sense that Stede would keep such a story to himself. But Stede was in his forties and had never been with anyone else besides his ex-wife, so it was probably best for him to start small and work his way up.

“A lot of guys are into you, Stede. A hookup might be too much, too soon since you’re just starting out though. Try finding the guys who are open to dates first and get your feet wet before diving into the deep end. If you want to date more after it, then you know you’re leaning more towards a relationship. If you just want to fuck them, then you know you’re leaning more towards something casual.”

“That’s good advice, thank you.” Ed handed the phone back, expecting Stede to start scrolling through the messages, but he just locked it and put it back into his pocket.

He retrieved his cup of tea and sat there with a little smile on his face that made Ed feel twitchy. Was he thinking about all the dates he was going to go on? All the shy glances and little giggles and volleying back and forth with personal details? 

He had to know. “Penny for your thoughts?”

Stede took a sip of the tea. “No charge. I was just thinking how funny it is that forty-eight hours ago, I had no idea you even existed and now here you are - the legendary rockstar Blackbeard, drinking chamomile tea on my couch and giving me dating advice.”

Ed didn’t like it.

He liked the tea, and the couch, and of course he liked Stede’s company, but he didn’t want to think about being Blackbeard. Didn’t want to think of his stage persona, or roaring crowds or the tedious after parties where he was still expected to be switched on as Blackbeard and all that came with him - the drinking and the drugs and the chaos. It had been like that for so many years, and he just wanted whatever this was with Stede. The quiet domesticity, a cosy evening at home.

He just wanted to be Ed, not Blackbeard.

“You can just call me Ed.”

“I know. I was just thinking how bizarre it all is, how you’re nothing like I expected.” Stede smiled, completely unaware of how his words cut like a knife. 

No one expected Ed. No onewanted Ed, they just wanted Blackbeard.

“Admittedly I know very little about Blackbeard. I know more about Ed, which is good because I like Ed.”

And that quiet admission broke him.

Stede was alarmed and frantic as the tears began to roll down Ed’s cheeks. He fussed over him, hands flapping uselessly like he didn’t think it wise to touch him in this state as he asked what was wrong, how he hadn’t meant to upset him and “ please don’t cry, Ed, I can’t bear it .”

Ed couldn’t cry for long - as soon as the tears had started to fall he had done what he could to choke them back, feeling completely humiliated. Stede had left him on the couch, murmuring something about being right back, but Ed knew he had scared him off. He’d be freaked out by a man sobbing because someone said they liked him as well.

He had gotten the tears mostly under control by the time Stede returned, his arms laden down with some swathes of printed fuchsia fabric. Another blanket?

Stede wrapped the plush velvet around him and Ed realised it had sleeves when Stede carefully fed his arms through them and draped the fabric into a puddle of velvet around him. He was sitting on Stede’s couch dressed in his trademark all black, his artfully ripped jeans and designer tee and heavy boots, and now he had a bird and floral print robe bundled around him and Stede was holding out a red silk handkerchief. “If you need a good cry, then go ahead. I just think such things are better when you’re comfortable.”

His face showed such genuine concern and it broke Ed all over again. 

There was no containing these sobs - god, he was practically wailing like an infant because someone had shown him some tender care and attention.

He thought Stede would run, that was what he would have done, but instead the man joined him on the couch. He looked hesitant at first, but then resolutely put an arm around Ed’s shoulders and let him collapse against his chest. The silk of his pyjama shirt darkened as Ed sobbed against it, but Stede just rubbed his hand back and forth on Ed’s shoulder, uttering soothing words like he was comforting a small child - “There we go, you just let it all out. Shhh, it’s ok. Everything will be ok, don’t worry.”

Ed wasn’t sure how long it took for the crying to stop, but it eventually eased into shuddering breaths against Stede’s chest. They stayed like that for a while longer, neither one making the first move to pull away, and it was easier for Ed to talk if he didn’t have to look at Stede’s face. “I’m sorry about that.”

“There’s nothing to apologise for.” Stede was authoritative; he meant it. “I think you’ve been bottling that up for a while, you’ll sleep like a baby now it’s out of your system.”

“It’s just that when you–”

“Shh, you don’t need to tell me why. I don’t need to know the reason for it, I just need to know if you’re feeling better now?”

Ed bit his lip but he nodded, still not moving from where he lay against Stede’s chest.

“Then that’s all that matters. Now, how about we watch something and forget all about it, hmm? Do you like The Golden Girls?”

“Never seen it.”

“What?!” Stede’s mock outrage was adorable, even if Ed could only hear rather than see it. “We must put this right at once!”

He grabbed the remote and lined up an episode. Ed waited for Stede to shift, to make that first move to pull away so they were sat in their own spaces again, but he didn’t. Once he pressed play, he relaxed back against the couch, one arm still around Ed and cradling him against his chest as he hummed along with the theme tune.

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[izzyspussy]

fic where ed starts to say, "I would've..." and then as he's thinking about all the things he would've done for stede he realizes he's all but listing off things izzy has done for him, and that's how he figures out that izzy's in love with him and has been for longer than he ever wasn't

and he says, "fuck, man, you could've said something" because it's far more unimaginable that he'd not have izzy than that he'd have him that way in particular, and everything would be so much different than it is now but it could have worked, maybe, before

and izzy says, "yeah? when would that have gone over best, d'you think?" and ed has to acknowledge okay maybe it actually wouldn't have worked out, maybe they would never have been quite right for each other actually, even if he can see it happening so clearly in his mind's eye now that he's thought of it

and forces a sardonic little laugh and he says, "well, we could've at least been fucking"

and izzy says, reluctant to acknowledge it (it being his ability to feel emotional pain), "that would be worse"

and ed, still trying to make light but also in selfishness, says, "oh. i won't suggest that now then"

and izzy flinches imperceptibly and warns (pleads), "i won't tell you no. you know i won't ever tell you no."

and ed, wanting to backtrack but also still wanting what he wants, wanting izzy to coddle him to give in to him to make him feel better to fix him, and wanting to feel like he hasn't ever abused his power over izzy, wanting to feel like he can't, that there's no blame for him if izzy's ever been hurt, not before and more importantly not now, laughs again and says, "you tell me no all the time. you've been telling me no this whole time."

and izzy gestures around them, at the ship they're on, at ed's tied up hair and shaved face, his gown, and says, "obviously didn't mean it, or we wouldn't fuckin be here, would we boss"

and then it's ed's turn to flinch and he has to accept it then, that izzy has been in pain, and sometimes it was ed's fault, and certainly just now that was his doing, and if he presses izzy will hurt himself to please him and he'd have been perfectly knowing of that, and so - for the first time - he actively chooses not to.

so they come to a truce that way, with izzy heartbroken over ed and ed heartbroken over stede, and both of them heartbroken over what probably could never have been but now they'll never know, and knowing it's too late for either of them to do anything about any of it. and they don't have sex and they don't kiss and they don't offer each other comfort, but they're comforted a little anyway just by the fact that they're both enduring this tragedy together now.