#you did it bc you were a kid and still are a kid and thats just how kids are and its not something that people should try and stamp out
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#a doodley#i had to make this blue so tumblr would stop hiding it from the dash#anyway no caption this happened 2 hrs ago#im happy abt my surgery but it and other things this year keep beinging conversations like these up#and i cant handle it at all.#everything my dad tells me just makes me feel worse and not bc its anything bad but bc I Feel Bad#like the conversation then continued to him being like no dont cry im just saying i wpuld have wanted to#quit my job decades ago and set aside money so I wouldnt be struggling as much now but that didnt happen#and i just dont want that to happen to you guys :)#so we have to support u so that your life is what u want it to be#and i cried even more bc what do u mean. thats so sad. ur a person and u were a child and baby once and ur gonna die#and you always almost cry when u talk about your mom who passed away decades ago#and your brothers that passed away#recently and im going to be your age and still sobbing bc i miss my dad. just like i have been prematurely crying about since i was 7#the other day my dad asked my mom if i cried a lot when i was a baby/kid and my mom said no and then my dad#said that when i Did cry it was so severe he thought i would ''drown in my own tears''#bc i could never stop. like. thats still true today. ive been crying on and off since then#i think i mentioned he's just been telling me stories about his life lately and it further fuels this. i get so sad. im sorry your life was#like this. i dont want to die i dont want you to die im sad im sorry im sorry#im scared. im never going to see you again. how horrible. how horrible#i cant enjoy my day today bc every day is a day closer and i get sad
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more incorrect quotes for the stillborn danyal au - dpxdc
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Student: so like,, *gesturing to Plasmius* is he like,,, your dad or...??
Phantom: he would be if he wasn't such a BITCH
Plasmius: excuse me
Phantom: YOU HEARD ME
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Under the Bleachers: Danny and Dash smoking in solidarity
Dash:
Danny:
Dash: do you have notes from Lancer's class today
Danny: since when do I ever have notes from Lancer's class
Danny: I can ask Tucker but only if you have notes from Abernathy's class
Dash: deal
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Sam and Tucker: *making s'mores with Danny's lava hair*
Danny, as Phantom: >:I
Sam: you're just mad because you didn't think of it first
Danny: yEAH
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Danny, freshly ghosted: ....
Danny: well. at least i dont need to waste money on lighters anymore
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Tucker: with how long your hair gets we may just have to start calling you rapunzel
Danny: don't you dare
Sam: rapunzel, rapunzel, let down your lava hair
Danny: NO
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Danny's hair tie breaks in the middle of a fight
Danny: fuck
Skulker: language child
Danny, pushing lava bangs out of his face: fuck you! just for this im turning your suit into molten slag
Skulker: waitholdonwecantALK--
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Danny: you know, by your logic Maddie is equally as guilty for abandoning you as Jack. She also never visited you while you were in the hospital.
Vlad, had put his infatuation with Maddie aside but still kinda had feelings for her:
Vlad: you're right
Danny, not used to an adult agreeing with him: I-- huh, I am?
Vlad: yes. If Dr. Walker had cared about me -- even if only as a friend, she would have tried to remain in contact with me. But she didn't. She is also as equally guilty for the accident that took your life too since she also failed to properly check over the portal for flaws and any improper wiring.
Danny: wait- wait, i mean--
Vlad: this means only one thing
Danny, bewildered: ???
Vlad, extinguishing all lingering feelings: I have to kill her too (somehow)
Danny: nO.
#danny fenton is not the ghost king#dp x dc#dpxdc#dpxdc crossover#dpxdc au#dpxdc prompt#dpdc#stillborn? no still born au#stillborn danny#danyal al ghul au#danyal al ghul#flanderizing the vlad and danny dynamic just a little🕺 🕺 🕺 as a treat#parental vlad masters#my vlad masters could beat up your canon vlad masters#my vlad masters also wears a ribcage corset and is permanently cursed with BabyFaced 20 Year Oldness when he's plasmius#danny: hey so my foster mom also never talked to you when you were hospitalized tho | vlad: oh shit u right | danny: i am#vlad: she's also not blameless in your death either. | danny: uh oh | vlad (ultimately A Dad First): this means i have to kill her too#bc if phantom can be a permanent 14yo then plasmius is also a permanent college student and i think thats hilarious. he physically cannot#grow a goatee as plasmius. he can get all the facial hair he wants as vlad but not as a ghost. L to him. this only fuels his vendetta#SB Vlad: im gonna kill maddie | canon vlad: you WHAT#hc that maddie got her doctorate with her maiden name first and refuses to change it. jack and vlad both supported this decision in college#and still do. im taking Vlad's creepiness about maddie out back and shooting it in the kneecaps. boom gone now i can just make him Parental#vlad saw maddie try and shoot danny once and promptly did a 180 on his feelings.#vlad: ah well actually fuck you too now. you shot my kid | danny: NOT YOUR KID#i want everyone to know that i was listening to thunder bringer when i was making the vlad plasmius design and so that is now attributed to#him forever and ever. i curse him with the Zeus Boss Battle Theme Song
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people who think clem surviving makes no sense are so funny. "they were literally foreshadowing her death the entire season" let me introduce you to the concept of a red herring. she tells lilly she isnt lee and shes right. the narrative was forcing her down that path, a path she saw as an inevitable fate waiting to take her too, but its a narrative broken by aj, who is also his own person and not S1 clem
"it happened to lee, and itll happen to you" lilly tells clem she'll die protecting aj from some mistake he makes, when in reality his defiance of her will is what saves her life after she had already accepted her fate. he breaks clem free from the lee cycle and they get their relatively happy ending. good for them
#anyway in the commentary they talk about how they Were going to have a death ending but didnt like the idea of the good/bad ending#and how people would moreso try to avoid the 'bad end' which i understand and appreciate bc thats usually what happens#so instead they gave us both :) idk why some people seem to have such a huge problem with that#they broke the cycle :) the ericson kids broke the cycle by being a loving community :) they all break the cycle by refusing the delta#lilly and minnie were both lost to the cycle. lilly with her dad and minnie with lilly#minnie couldnt let go. clem almost did the same and it would have killed her too. but aj makes a Choice and it saves her#god even tho clem is noticeably happier in s4 shes still so gd depressed and Tired. she accepted it so fast im so glad he saved her#like idk you saw her come back on screen after that massive fake out and you got Mad?? i was crying twice as hard#i know ive made this similar post before but like i still see this criticism in 2024 and i just have to laugh now#it speaks#twdg#i just love the narrative threads of S4 bro.... seasons 1 and 4 are two sides of the same coin and i love that. its satisfying
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i feel rly sad and conflicted abt one of my best friends on earth but idk who to ask for advice bc i usually would have consulted her in this situation lmao
#shes cool and i dont want to lose her and i know Logically i love her but atm i feel so strange towards her#and idk what to do abt it bc i know in the past ive like...over-communicated a lot and over the last few yrs ive been trying to not do that#bc thats an anxious impulse i think .so like . self control#AND IMPORTANTLY . i may actually be the problem here ?? ok again i love her i dont want to lose her etc but basically ive noticed a pattern#which is that whenever she gets a bf/a man (even fwb) in her life she basically stops talking to me and the limited interactions we do have#become abt him. and while i support her it is acc too much. like we barely talked while she was w her ex bf until he became abusive and#then we talked a lottt like all our convos understandably were abt him . and then when they broke up we kept hanging out so i didnt rly see#the pattern there but still she seemed to centre men a lot in her life like sbe was excited to not date and find herself and then#immediately afterwards started seeing this other guy with whom shes basically in a relationship now#hes nice and all but like . HES ALL SHE TALKS ABT . actually we barely talk atp but when we do its abt him#she sends me reels sometimes but its all abt being jealous abt him etc . and shes bi but she said she doesnt like the idea of dating women#bc theyre scary . and i thought she was kidding in the ohhh women r so beautiful that theyre intimidating way but no she was being entirely#fr . she explained jts bc she was bullied by a girl in the past but like...bro ur ex bf literally abused you like surely you see men are#capable of just as much harm? but obvs who she dates is her own choice . but anyway she has consistently made plans w me then cancelled the#like an hr before . or asked to call me and then proceeded to not do so . when i ask her to meet/call its the same she just doesnt respond#or she cancels ? and while i understand anxiety sucks it feels SO WEIRD STILL . maybe im the problem slightly too bc ik i have no right to#feel this way but it rubs me the wrong way that ik she has so much time to spend w him/calls him all the time despite meeting him just a fe#months ago whereas i just have to like ...be ok w not actually having talked to her for a long time#its gotten to the point where when she says do you wanna meet/call i automatically respond yes and then just assume it doesnt happen . like#there have been several times over the past few months i double booked plans over when we were supposed to call/meet bc i was sure she#wouldnt show up and ive been right each time#like she sends me texts that she misses me or im her best friend etc etc occasionally and then acts rly . contrary to that ?#ive talked to her abt the issue w cancelling on me twice btw. when i was still dating the situationship person she would get sooo mad at#them for not respecting my time and shed tell me i deserve better etc etc and then like . she doesnt seem to respect my time at all#anyway she said she understand and she admits to like...being flaky etc but does nothing abt it#and its not like i can tell her to stop caring so much abt men bc we sorta had convos like that b4 she got This involved w this guy#and apparently it did nothing and the last thing i want is to police her relationships or get in her way#its just AUSHD AUGH#anyway i rly miss her it just doesnt feel the same at all anymore
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like guys i promise im aware blossomfall is meant to be a glass child. i just think she’s a poorly written one lmao
#tbh thats why my feelings on her are so strong. its a delicate topic for kids but time and time again#its been handled extremely poorly and just used as an excuse to hate disabled people#i think my exhaustion with these stories is bc they were sorta shoved down my throat by the school board growing up#because they heard ‘’wow you got TWO autistic brothers??? your life must SUCK ASS AND BALLS have this book abt how autism ruins families’’#wow cool i feel so much better guys. both about the ableism my family faces in general and about my undiagnosed autism#if i had to think. and i havent read this in forever so i could be misremembering. i think a decent example of a glass child trope#is the sister from ‘’wonder’’ (the book. idk what the movie did)#because while she’s an important character who struggles with internalized ableism#the focus is still on auggie and HIS struggles with his own disability and the ableism he faces as a result#and the sister isnt demonized for her feelings but she does still have to grapple with them#and accept her situation and that no one is at fault or anything. its just a consequence of an ableist society more than anything#again. been forever and ever since i read that book and iirc it does still have iffy shit like the one chapter on genetics#like to this day that sticks out as an uncomfortable chapter and idk if i can say its fantastic rep bc of that#but idk. i remember liking it fine as a kid#i always appreciated books that tried to get into multiple perspectives on the issues#also this is just me and ik it goes against the definition of the term#but man. kinda wish we’d get a glass child character thats also disabled and their disability is undiagnosed or ignored#for the sake of only prioritizing their sibling and bc they have to be ‘’the perfect abled child’’#because thats my story lol#wasnt allowed to be disabled or imperfect or need help because being a third disabled kid wouldve been too much
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🐰🌧️
#so on my way home..#i walked by a school and besides the fact that i felt so depressed bc just looking at these kids and adults i have NO hope for the future#i saw two boys on a bench as i walked by... and i just thought they were talking. and too late i realized that no one of the boys were#bullying the other boy. the bully walked away and the other boy just sat there looking so lifeless and dejected#a teacher came and sat down w that boy and i just kept walking. even if i wanted to say smth it's like what would i even do abt that situati#that made me so sad both bc that boy.. he looked so dejected and used to it. that anxiety going to school knowing you're bullied is awful#and like i imagined talking to him and saying heyyy if you're lucky you'll grow up to be 25yrs old#live like a parasite off your mom and be on wellfare and never have had a job :)#you'll have no education or highschool diploma :) you will still struggle to finish hs even at an easier level :)#you will also not have had friends in 10yrs and you'll be terrified of ppl and getting close to anyone and even going outside!!#you'll have no interests and hobbies and skills! you'll simply be a waste of space loser being a burden on everyone around u!#whoop whoop stay alive buddy it will only get worse ❤️#god i just wanna cry. how did i let my life turn out this way??? i used to be full of dreams and life and passion and HOPE#i used to believe in things and in people. i had so many dreams and i wanted to try and do so many things#now all i can think is 'i wanna die i wanna die i wanna die'. im miserable wherever i go lmao#there's this bridge over the highway i have to cross when i walk to school and every time i look down at the trafic and when a truck drives#by i feel my entire body vibrate. i just wanna jump and get mauled by it.#or i dont *want* to but i feel so deeply and desperately that it's the only way for me#only way to make it stop hurting. and i am weak. i dont know how to just 'stop' or take control of my life. thats why i wanna die#bc i know that i wont be able to. that my life will never amount to anything#for fuck's sake my dream now is just to have my own 1bedroom apartment and have a shitty job - like in a grocery store or whatever!!!!!#not even that can i make happen! bc im so worthless i cant do anything. im also stupid so i wouldnt be able to do my job right#i dont know... i dont know... these feelings and thoughts are too much i just wanna relax#but i cant bc my ribs hurt and idk if it's heartburn or an ulcer 💀 why am i even alive???? what am i doing all this for? 😭#my thoughts ran away but i meant like seeing that reminded me of how much of a failure i became#bc of my circumstances and all the shitty ppl around me thru out my life
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OOOH HES YELLING
(Spoilers for Orv in the tags, bc I’m commentating now I guess)
#ANGY MOMENT#going post#orv#All these backhanded comments from her… the tensionnnnn#‘It’s about time you faced reality’ OH THATS LOADED#‘Just a few words from her and my whole world is shaking violently’ the devastating power of a mom to suck all good vibes from a room#The way he’s standing so still and his back is fully straight. It’s like he’s stuck in the role of a kid getting scolded#‘Sell off reality to be fiction like you did’ what does that mean??? Huh?#OH OKAY BACKSTORY TIME#I mean honestly. Kind of slay of her to kill her and her sons abuser#OHH OH I SEE. I SEE WHAT HE MEANT NOW#SELL OFF REALITY TO BE FICTION….. AND HE HAD TO LIVE POKED AND PRODDED BY THE MEDIA BC SHE MADE THEIR TRAUMA FAMOUS#HE DIDNT GET TO BE A NORMAL KID IN ANY CAPACITY…….. MAN.#‘Things were a little difficult because of that’ DOKJA. DUDE.#ohhhhh and now the constellations would feel weird abt donating right now.#‘To think my life was being exchanged for money by someone else’ HAHA GETTEM DOKJA#‘Haha that was all a lie jk’ hey man. you are not mentally well
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ive been listening to the audio books for His Dark Materials and like. wow. little kid me was reading these without even blinking?? some of the stuff in these books is war crime shit
#his dark materials#the golden compass#yea this isnt dgr but i had to mention it bc. goddamn#spoilers for the golden compass but#a grown man just killed a child to rip open the border to another universe and has started making out with his morally corrupt ex wife#in front of his daughter who is cradling the dead body of said child#like??? really????#also picking up on stuff i missed the first time around. the fascinating implications of childhood vs maturity and why people fear it#lyra you are everything to me and you didnt deserve any of that at all. even if you were annoying at times. even if you did do stupid stuff#you did it bc you were a kid and still are a kid and thats just how kids are and its not something that people should try and stamp out
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not sorry. i extend very little sympathy and patience towards tras who are underage, and the only ones who do get said sympathy are TIFs. but again. it's MICROSCOPIC levels of sympathy.
#i was also a tra as a minor (~10yo to 14yo)#and yet i never said even half the shit a lot of these kids are spewing with their whole chests.#i never hated on terfs; made rape jokes; made death threats.#I barely ever even argued with terfs bc i AGREED WITH THEM even as a tra. the only thing i disagreed on was how they went about it#(i felt like they were 'too mean'. now that i am a radfem i see we arent mean enough.)#i never in my life shared countless anti terf memes. never had a DNI.#never spammed terf tags and spaces.#never sent hate anons.#so yeah#i do genuinely judge kids who do this because i WAS ALSO A CHILD and i NEVER did this shit even at the height of the trans ideology#worming its way into the government and law.#people need to understand that children can and SHOULD have morals. just like adults.#you shouldnt need to be told 'hey this is bad' to know thats bad. if you have morals then you simply just know.#i tried to go vegan my entire life. would refuse to eat animals even when i was 4 years old. went officially vegan at 11 when i realized i#wouldnt die without animal protein (and even if i did i was sick of funding animal murder)#no one NEEDED to tell me to do that.#my morals simply did not agree with killing and eating other living beings.#so kids who are willing to do all this shit? yeah. thats ust a reflection of their innate morals. not even joking here either.#i work with kids.#i know how downright cruel they can be and not just in a 'im socially inept and have no filter yet'#but intentionally cruel.#intentionally heinous. and tiktok exposure only makes it so much worse.#so yeah if you are a minor and i go on your account and i see dozens of terf-hate posts?#i AM judging you and i feel zero sympathy for anything coming your way#and i do genuinely hope they wither away in shame and regret when they get older#I didnt even do any of this shit and yet i still feel ashamed and remorseful for the stupid tra shit i spewed (mostly about how#sex and gender arent the same. that was the HEIGHT of my trans rights activism. that's barely 1% of what these kids are saying.)#like i understand where theyre coming from and i get why theyd buy into the trans cult; but that does NOT excuse their behavior.#rudefem
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raises my hand i actually like the concept of a shitty parent getting better i just hate when its used to be like "im good now so you should forgive me."
people grow and change and hurt people!!! and those hurt people deserve to move on without having to forgive their abuser!!!
#this is why i get defensive when ppl make all sorts of reasons why rhinedottir did what she did#if she killed dorian for being imperfect then whatever!! i hate her for that but you dont have to#not only does it go with her little mental break that she 100% had lets be honest#it also fits the “Perfectionist” thing that the sinners were trying so hard to achieve#it MAKES SENSE#even if its nuanced that doesnt make it ok!!! but at the same time i dont think shes 100% stuck to being a terrible person nor do i think++#shes always been a bad mother#i think she was a great mother before everything went downhill and honestly if she gained a sense of apathy towards her kids itd MAKE SENSE#ofc im not saying this is true. im just saying its possible and it doesnt take away from her as a character#elynas is just as reliable a source as albedo dare i say!!! he was not in a strange mindset bc he wasnt corrupt like durin#the way he described her was valid. so was albedos when he said she threatened to leave him.#if the trauma from the cataclysm is what caused everything#that makes sense#but its not an excuse and it doenst mean she had some extra hidden reason for what she did. sometimes people are bad people!!! clearly she+#did SOMETHING right with albedo because he has a sense of morality. but even so you can TELL shes not a good mom EVEN TO HIM#i dont know where im going with this im getting turned around UHM#TLDR; shes a terrible mother. and a pretty bad person. but that doesnt mean im saying shes evil without nuance#it just means what it sounds like#plenty of parents fucking SUCK without meaning to. whether she cared or not she was still a pretty bad mother. thats all im saying#im willing ot talk about her but im NOT willing to have people argue that any of her children deserved what they got.#not albedo and NOT dorian.#elynas to dorian to albedo is a great pipeline for her as a character. which is why i like to believe elynas came first;#alfisol and dorian came close to last#and then albedo came last long after the others#every character has nuance however i am allowed to dislike them despite that#tzu rambles#that said i understand how it comes off as biased when i only talk about her children but unfortunately her children are the only reason i+#know about her at all. thye are my favorites and my content centers around them </3
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Thinking about the gay Mormon kid I met in middle school and how all the other Mormons were convinced he was gay-faking and actually straight
#mormon children are so funny they be like ''if someone hears me say fuck i could be disowned and excommunicated. i support u being gay tho#i'll always support you the way you are'' <- actual unironic convos i had with my mormon friend in 5th grade#like days apart first she was like i can never swear and then when i came out to my class as bi#she was the Nicest straight person about it like of course the other girls who were questioning or already knew were supportive#straight kids had a more diverse opinion on it lol but this mormon girl got me she was so good#definitely part of my gay awakening bc i spent months being like ''i cant be bi bc if i was i would have a crush on Her. but i dont''#''i only feel this way bc she has beautiful red hair and freckles which i adore and she is super sweet to me. thats not gay''#and this went on for 3 months and then i had a wet dream about a different girl and i was like OH. well the evidence is growing#wow these tags have nothing to do with this gay mormon kid lololol nothing much to say about him#i didnt know him very well tbh like we spoke a little bit and he did come out to me but most of what i learned about him was rumors#and def i feel like he got the typical gay kid treatment of being ostracized lied about and picked on#idk why you would choose to subject urself to that if u arent ssa like it is not easy to be out in this area#its maybe not Dangerous bc more people are coming out every year but its certainly still viewed as a severe sin#its not seen as a neutral thing by mosr churches although several churches have sprung up that specifically welcome and accept lgbt people#thats a super interesting divide to me bc i Still meet christians who cant even hear about gay people without talking#about how sad gayness is and how gay souls are in danger and the last time i ever visited a church the sermon was homophobic#yet the city decorates for pride every year and even certain churches will decorate for it#the culture is certainly changing lolol but as long as there are ''gay love is sodomy'' christians around here#then its always going to be a struggle for lgb youth bc they are straight up hostile
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bedtime nowww probably ummm today qas not what i wanted it 2 be but its fine. i dont feel negative just a very very very numb day which is almost worse. but only almost 🙏
#i did get thr laundry done didnt fold it didnt take a shower#so thatll hopefuly be tmrw#i hope im able to do an activity with somebody tmrw.... the kids will be back at school so umm. no risk of weeman asking for my laptop in#the morning. or maybe me n lamp could play aa... idk#i feel like such a loser i go 1 day without bothering my family and im like wahhh im lonely. Can you shut up ..... we r better than this.#but wtvr. thats also a mean thought and i shouldnt be idolizing the way i lived last year. We were taking spongebaths and eating#1 bowl of soup a day crying ourselves to sleep every night and literally going weeks on end wo talking to our loved ones. so why am i like#We need to go back ! well i know why its bc i cant just let myself heal and move on bc of my stupid complex#and tbf i was very efficient back then. i ws able to do my spongebaths at least every 3 days and i did my laundry every week right on#schedule and i had a job....all it took was literally not being a person in any meaningful way FJFNGJGN. idk#it was very simple. its still very simple perhaps simpler (#no job) but instead i just feel guilty i guess. sbt everything#which i ws doing last year but again i was too out of it to rly dwell. i just cried at work a lot abt it#but now its like. i dont have a job to go to to focus on. my interests/hobbies can only distract me for a few days maximum b4 they become#nothing 2 me. and then im just back in limbo again and it feels pointless#and even when its a 'good' phase of something actually keeping me distracted from everything its like. not. all it does is ruin my sleep#schedule again yk. ik im literally the timeloop guy so u think id loveee Everyday being exactly the same over and over and over but well i#dont. bc they arent actually the same day theyre just reminders that everything does keep fucking going but im stuck. which is the opposite#of what i want. and what id have if the beautiful timeloop would simply rescue me. wtvr tho.... she doesnt even know i exist 😥#little joke. IDK. like i said its better ig than having a truly miserable day but. man. i wish everything was better#i ws gonna say like it used to be but. yk. ive been depressed since i was like 7 its not like. idk. i wish i was born different and i wish#my head worked and i wish none of it had evrr happened. but itis ok. i cant think of a funny cutesy alternative to put here so we will just#say nothing. yay
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i will not stand green team in my house. i swear to god.
#its really funny to me bc ive seen mfers be like wow rhaenyra used her position and power to r*pe crispy cola cola man which no???#he could've said NO and yknow what he wouldve been backed up because he is 1. a man 2. a part of the king's guard bc he serves to THE king#NOT NYRA#but he got with her bc he HAD the chance and then got pissy because he wanted to marry her#and not only bc of honor as he says but because he feels emasculated that he cannot have power of nyra as a husband#also think abt what hes implying there for one moment: take her out of the world she already knows to a world HE knows very well#like he doesnt love her he only wished to possess her#something something how the 'alpha' male types act when they find a bad bitch but then want her to stay at home mother same vibes here#he wanted to make her dependent of him despite already having a BIG thing over her head#also then to have the nerve to NOT call him what he is a MISOGYNIST bc alicent apparently backs him up???#when like alicent uses the patriarchal system to HURT rhaenyra at EVERY single turn#alicent ruined rhaenyra's life out of spite and envy and jealousy#worst part is that rhaenyra TRIED to amend their relationship#MORE than alicent ever did with her#she gets harwin killed her monster kids get her childrens killed#and ALL the pass deeds that were trying to put her down#also how cole and her both of them killed the lovers of laenor and nyra which mind you#people they loved#and both laenor and rhaenyra knew this and they were okey with it but apparently you gotta ask permition to alicent and cole first#like fuck off#also laenor said im the father which PER IRL MEDIEVAL LAW THAT MAKES THEM LEGITIMATE#and also vyseris saw them as legitimate#and thats it#they ARE legitimate and like Vyseris is slow but not blind (yet akjsdbflak) he knew that Rhaenyra's kids were Harwin's but he literally#did NOT care and it was PRETTY clear that he still made them legitimate#the only time i've seen rhaenyra pull rank its when laenor is like noooo haha i wanna go to war pweaseeee let me go to war#like she literally was just vibing and alicent and cole we're mad and seething
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guys i laurv college like actually. went out w a group of ppl and went to CVS and a mediocre pep rally. had a really sweet exchange w a bus driver. roommates are going out in a large group to have some of that sweet liquid sillies allegedly. i am alone in my dorm despite thinking i'd be the last one awake i am literally the only one here. and i'm happy i think :D
#nightmare.personal#we have to be up at like 7:30 am though so God bless my poor roommates#it's just two of them out person no 3 is unaccounted for#hypothetically i couldve stayed up but the group i was hanging out w are all roommates#so it was just me sititng in their dorm while they were showering and i was like. i think maybe i should go back to my home domain#but college is seriously kind of great bc like. you can just Do Shit. no parental convos about the logistics of hanging out#if i want to knock on a friends door to see their taxidermied rat and then go out w them at 10 pm#i am well within my God given right to do that!!!!!!#also idk when the RAs come bc this is meant to be quiet hours but people are blasting frank ocean which#it's frank ocean so you cannot be complaining about that but still#ALSO I SAW THIS GUY I'D BEEN TEXTING AT A STORE AND THEN I SAW HIM LATER AT THE RALLY#AND THIR=TY SECONDS BEFORE THE RALLY ENDED I TEXTED HIM SAYING I SAW HIM#AND HE MADE DIRECT EYE CONTACT WITH ME RIGHT WHEN EVERYONE STARTED LEAVING#IT WAS SO FUNNY. i am seeing him in SO many places and we haven't even hung out yet#also hope the guy that i recced måneskin liked it i didn't do one of their best songs but hopefully thats cool#i just did baby said bc i was gonna do read your diary but thought it'd be too much in hindsight i'd DEFFO do kool kids#IN ANY CASEEEE. idk what to do now just text my gf i guess
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For my work secret santa I got a gift basket with wine, glasses, a candle, and a llama wine bottle holder thing, and when I thanked the girl who gave it to me she was so excited and told me how she looked so hard for a basket with the Llama because she knew I really liked them and it was just so sweet of her, but the thing is I've never actually had a strong opinion either way on llams. I have a couple scrub tops that have llamas on them (they're a popular pattern theme idk why) but I guess she got it in her head that they're my favorites (for the record my favorite animals are gorillas elephants and any kind of cat big or small)
And like first of all, I would now rather die than EVER let her know my ambivalence towards llamas, but also like...I think about that every time I see a llama now. I'm gonna go through the rest of my life remembering how this girl was so excited to get me something she thought I would like, and she also wrote a really nice card to go with it about me being a good friend, and not to sound like a fortune cookie but the thought does count and it was just so lovely and I'll never think of llamas the same way again bc I do love them now. Anyway love is transformative and also stored in the Llama wine bucket
#something something there are more people than you think that not only notice but care about you and see you as a friend#im pretty friendly with most of my coworkers but we dont necessarily hang out outside of work#and part of me still very much feels like im still the weird kid in the middle school cafeteria with no one to sit with but thats not true#most people are nice#and i do really try and help my newer coworkers especially bc i know how scary and stressful it is to be new#so i go out of my way to support them and let them know they can always ask me for help and i wont think theyre dumb for asking a question#and i guess it works! they do feel supported and like they can ask for help! i made a difference for someone!#and thats a good feeling even if ive got other crap going on or not going on rn#i did something good and made someone feel better and less scared while learning a difficult and stressful job#sort of that be the person you needed when you were younger kinda thing#and i think thats the 2024 goal to be the person i needed when i was younger and to be someone a young me would be impressed by#love and purpose are stored in the llama wine bucket
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fighting for my life trying to find info abt specificslly being an autistic parent to allistic kids but you search Autistic parent to allistic kids and evrry single thing is ITS SO FUCKING HARD TO HAVE A WEIRD FREAK WEIRD GROSS WEIRD WEIRD WEIRD SCARY ODD BLUNT AUTISTIC CHILD !!! WHEN YOU ARE NORMAL AND GOOD !!! can we all kill ourselves
#i did find a pretty good article im reading through. so ya.. it was a little upsetting at first bc they talked abt like. the author is l#autistic so they were talking abt an interaction they had with an allistic woman who had autistic parents and siblings#and she said some like. truly vile things and this person is a Far better person than me bc theyre like. well the way the she feels is sort#of a mirror of the way i felt growing up in an allistic family. which is fair but also i for shre wouldbe cussed this woman out very much#sry . she was saying shit abt how awful it was to see 2 autistic people presenting and being appreciated by their colleagues and how her#parents were broken and she was Real in a way they werent . like damn sry abt yr childhood but thats like. idk. im trying to be empathetic#but i am a broken and evil autistic person so im having some difficulty 😯#sry. i have judt been thinking abt it bc i might adopt kids bc idk likee. yk. idk what the womb situation will be and i cant afford to get#my eggs frozen etc. so theres a high chance my kids might not be autistic. which is sort of scary and i wanted 2 try and see testimonies#from autistic parents judt 2 see like. what their experience was#obv ill still love my kids KRNFJFNG even if theyre weird freaky allistics (#JOKING JOKING JOKING JOKING JOKING sry if my future kids r reading this.)#but yk i just wanted to see some of the things 2 look out for.#bc obviously. some things that are really good for autistic children can feel either stifling or distant to an allistic kid. which you can#say abt anything lol thats every kid but ykwin.
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