#anyway in the commentary they talk about how they Were going to have a death ending but didnt like the idea of the good/bad ending

[spacedlexi]

people who think clem surviving makes no sense are so funny. "they were literally foreshadowing her death the entire season" let me introduce you to the concept of a red herring. she tells lilly she isnt lee and shes right. the narrative was forcing her down that path, a path she saw as an inevitable fate waiting to take her too, but its a narrative broken by aj, who is also his own person and not S1 clem

"it happened to lee, and itll happen to you" lilly tells clem she'll die protecting aj from some mistake he makes, when in reality his defiance of her will is what saves her life after she had already accepted her fate. he breaks clem free from the lee cycle and they get their relatively happy ending. good for them

[novelmonger]

Continuing to watch through the Writer/Director commentary of LotR (with Peter Jackson, Philippa Boyens, and Fran Walsh) and jotting down any new-to-me information I come across. Here's what I gleaned from TTT:

When they got the New Line logo to put on the movies, it was very old and scratched, so PJ gave it to Weta to touch it up. They joked about how they should bill New Line for it XD

Originally, the studio wanted TTT to start off with a prologue too, with Cate Blanchett narrating what sounds like it was basically going to be a "Previously on..." spiel, even though they didn't like the idea of the prologue in the first one. Thankfully, these three ignored the studio's advice both times XD

The Uruk who says "Manflesh" is also the guy in Sauron's armor in the prologue!

In the scene where the Rohirrim find Theodred, it's not actually raining! They used rain towers for the close-ups, but any wide shots just have CG rain. I would never have guessed!

Andy Serkis did the voices for the Uruk-Hai who says the "maggoty bread" line, and the orc who says, "Yeah, why can't we have some meat?" (The actor in the suit for the latter is, of course, Jed Brophy, who went on to play Nori in the Hobbit movies.)

Somehow it never registered for me that Orlando Bloom has brown eyes, and so he had to wear blue contacts when he played Legolas ^^' But sometimes he wasn't able to wear the contacts (or forgot), so there are some scenes where they had to fix it in post.

PJ called the Treebeard from the animated Bakshi movie "a walking carrot" XD He also said that Treebeard is his favorite character!

The scene with Smeagol killing Deagol was originally going to be a flashback right after Frodo says his name, and then the Nazgul shriek would pull the audience out of the flashback. They decided not to do that for pacing reasons and because we haven't spent much time with Gollum yet, so that's why they put it at the beginning of RotK instead.

Bernard Hill had his son with him on the shoot and would play with him in his downtime on the Edoras set. Puts things into perspective when you hear that he was the one who came up with the line "No parent should have to bury their child."

They were originally looking at Bernard Hill for Gandalf! (I feel like I've probably heard this before, but anyway.)

They filmed a flashback to Aragorn and Arwen's first meeting?! Viggo shaved to make himself look younger, and it was a scene of the two of them "frolicking about the forest." It was originally going to be put in the Lothlorien sequence, but they cut it out in favor of that scene between Aragorn and Boromir, because they decided it was more important to earn Boromir's death scene than to remind the audience of the romance. I agree with that decision, but it would be cool to see that footage! (I say as someone who prefers to skip the TTT Aragorn/Arwen scene entirely XD)

Originally, the warg battle was going to happen at Edoras itself. It was going to be at night, everything was going to be on fire, and ultimately that was going to be the reason everyone evacuated and went to Helm's Deep. Also, a warg was going to be set on fire and end up dragging Aragorn through the streets, and that was going to be how Aragorn would be left for dead. Ultimately, the reason they did it the way they did was because the studio wasn't sure Weta could do a flaming warg (something all three of them laughed about, considering everything Weta did manage to do with flying colors), and because it would have been a nightmare to light the Edoras set at night, because that location was so remote and so windy. Which is why every scene in Edoras takes place in the daytime!

In the scene where Faramir talks about his dream where he saw Boromir in the boat, you can see a sort of pinkish color in the water around Boromir's body. That's because the dye from his shirt (surcoat? idk) was leaking out into the water! XD

When Andy Serkis did ADR for the Forbidden Pool scene, he couldn't manage to sing the song off-key, so they had to use the audio from the motion capture footage XD

They shot some additional footage of Aragorn unconscious on Brego's back, riding past an orc encampment, that they never ended up using.

Theoden was originally going to give a speech to the soldiers in the armory, but Bernard Hill's performance was so inspiring that it defused most of the tension they were trying to build up before the battle, so they took it out. Would love to see that footage!

So the boy Aragorn encourages before the battle ("There is always hope.") was Philippa Boyens' son, who was 13 when they filmed the scene. But by the time they went to do ADR, his voice had broken, so they had to get a different child actor to say his lines.

Aww, the extra who was missing an eye said he always felt self-conscious about his missing eye, so he always wore an eyepatch. But then after they gave him a close-up and the guy saw the movie, he said he felt much better about his appearance! :')

Treebeard's line "I always like going south; it feels like going downhill" was ad-libbed!

When Saruman turns and reacts to all the water pouring in and washing his machinery away, that shot was actually a reaction shot to Wormtongue on top of the tower from the RotK movie that they repurposed for this scene instead, since they hadn't shot any reactions to the flood.

At least at the time of the recording of this audio commentary, the final shot of Gollum, where he's arguing with himself and ultimately decides to lead Frodo and Sam to Shelob, was the longest CG shot in any movie. (I tried to google what the current record is, but couldn't find anything, so if anyone knows, I'd love to hear about it!)

Fran Walsh: "All cinema storytelling, to a degree, is shallow. That's the nature of the medium. You've got two or three hours to present a world and a dense story with a hundred themes and a ton of backstory, in this instance, and 22 characters...so you can only really have the veneer of depth. You really can't have anything that comes close to the depth of the books, or the experience of the books. So I think what we attempted to do was to use the language of the books where we could and to certainly invoke them, the iconic images, where we could, but to keep the storytelling very much...to modernize it, if you like, in terms of cinema language. So we didn't, for example, use the style of storytelling that was in the books between these different after-the-fact storytelling, of Sam and Frodo and then a chunk of the Aragorn story. We completely undercut it. That was a far more immediate and engaging way to connect it to the audience. You can't really hope to satisfy people who adore this book, with the movie. You can only ever give them the sense of what might have been. That's all a film can do. I think, in that sense, films...I mean, they're entertainments. They're just not going to give you the pleasure that a book can give you."

[cookstorys]

I saw

Vinnie hacker sooo I would like to request something idk if you do smut or only fluff so just do whatever you’re comfortable with! Anyway can the reader be shy and doesn’t have social media of any kind and ppl see him in a video and try to find out who he is? You can keep going from there

𝙾𝚗𝚕𝚒𝚗𝚎 𝚜𝚎𝚊𝚛𝚌𝚑 𝚙𝚊𝚛𝚝𝚢

_____________

Person - Vinnie Hacker

Warning- None 😋

Author Note - I rushed at the end so ☺️

Females Dni

_____________

One hug. That’s all it took for rumors to start to circulate. You weren’t even supposed to be at the party, you just stopped by to see Vinnie. You walked thru that crowd of people to find Vinnie. Once you did a smile appeared on his face when he saw you. “I didn’t know you were coming.” He admitted. Then proceeded to hug you and plant a soft kiss on your forehead. Unknowingly to the both of you, Larray was filming a TikTok and with a simple zoom in you could see you and Vinnie hugging but more importantly, him planting a kiss on your forehead.

____________________

The sun beamed into your newly renovated room. You were starting to be more thankful for your decision to move and stay in L.A. The feeling of tight arms being wrapped around you was another reason you moved. You loved to be loved, The simple feeling of another person that loves you for you was unmatched and Vinnie was just that. He was the hot satisfying candle on oh-so-cold nights.

Before your surroundings could properly focus, your phone buzzed. You let out a lazy sigh and pick the object up.

[Best Friend’s Contact Name]

[Best friend] - OMFG

[Best friend] - IMA NEED YOUR ANTISOCIAL ASS TO LOOK AT THIS!

[Best Friend] - Twitter.com

You froze at the message. Your best friend had a weird sense of humor, to say the least. So, you were rightfully scared of the possibility that this link would either send you to a video of someone getting their ass beat or a very loud porno. To your dismay it was neither of the assumptions, instead, it was a picture of Vinnie planting a kiss on your forehead captioned, “Vinnie hacker spotted romantically kissing a mysterious boy on the forehead last night”

To say you were not happy was an understatement. You quickly sprinted out of bed and ran into your bathroom. This was not good, imagine how your family would react, your siblings. You weren’t in the closet but you also didn’t want to be public with Vinnie just yet. You loved the man to death - you did but you saw yourself as a shy boy from the south, thrown into this bold new world (aka L.A).

You opened your phone to more messages from your best friend to check the comments. ‘Hell no.’ You texted quickly. One thing you hated more than being in the public eye is people’s commentary about you. However, now that the secret’s out it wouldn’t hurt to take a small peak.

You rushed to open the once-closed tab of your messages. You hesitated for a while, finger levitating above the link. After a few more deep breaths your finger fell on the message, after clicking, your phone flashed blue and there appeared the post you had just recently witnessed. You scrolled down to see the comments.

____________________

@user233/ - Omg who is this

@rishardtim - I love this sm

@medontlikeyou - WE MUST FIND THIS MAN

@singleazzbitch - Not them both being fine…

____________________

A knock on the door stopped you from scrolling on. “[Name] are you ok? I saw the post and I’m so sorry. Just open the door let’s talk about this.” Vinnie tried to reason. Your long sigh could be heard thru the door as Vinnie impatiently waited for a response, action, anything. The door slowly opened revealing you and your phone visibly showing the Twitter post. “No, baby don’t listen to them, we can get this covered up or-“ Vinnie’s sentence was cut short by you rushing into his arms. “I’m ok.” You mumbled. With those two words coming out of your mouth Vinnie let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding.

After a while of silence. Just the two of your hugging and listening to each other's heartbeats. Vinnie spoke.“Have you thought about how you wanna handle this?” You sat in silence for a little while longer until you finally thought of an idea

“Let’s see how much they can learn.” You smirked

[thosehallowedhalls]

The 2 AM Christmas Tree Farm (2/2)

Pairing: Trystan Thorne/MC (Emma Rose)

Summary: Trystan is haunted by regrets. But when he's granted a wish to undo the worst of them, he finds that the price might be more than he's willing to pay.

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2

It’s the most surreal experience.

Juliana suggests that he spend today with her, since he took the day off anyway. Good thing, too, because he has no idea what he's supposed to be working on. He trails along as she irons out last-minute details for the ball, her signature charm and kindness ensuring that everyone receives her commentary with a genuine smile.

Every once in a while, he looks at her and his heart fills with joy at seeing her alive and obviously happy. Every time, however, a stab of pain and guilt follows. Pain, because he has lost the most important part of his life. Guilt, because wanting Emma back means wanting to go back to a life where two people he cares about died horrific deaths.

“Trystan?” Juliana tries to keep her tone light, but he can hear the concern underneath. “Are you all right? You’ve seemed distracted all morning.”

He gives her shoulder a reassuring squeeze. “I’m fine. It’s like I told you earlier, I didn’t sleep well.”

She clears her throat. “Thinking about Vasili again?”

His gaze swivels to meet hers. “What?”

“It’s been eight years since… well, since it happened.”

He’s unwilling to let this chance go. “I’ve been thinking about it, yes. It was a difficult night.”

“That’s an understatement. I’ve never been as relieved as I was the moment you walked out of the cabin and knocked him out. I don’t know what he would’ve done if it had been just us.”

I do, Trystan thinks grimly. “It must have been so hard for you.”

“It was hard for both of us. But I try to count my blessings.” She kisses his cheek. “I have plenty of those.”

He hesitates for a moment, trying to think of the best way to bring up his next question. “It affected Sebastyan, too.”

“How could it not? Finding out that the person you trust most in the world is capable of murder…” She shakes her head sadly. “Well, it’s no wonder he’s never been the same.”

“Still, it appears that Bas has plenty of blessings himself.” He wonders if Juliana still knows him well enough to pick up on the jealousy he can’t quite keep at bay.

“Behave,” she says. “I know you don’t like him, but you know he has changed.”

“I do. Moving out at twenty certainly isn’t something the old Bas would have done.”

She fidgets, looking uncomfortable. “Do we have to talk about it?”

“Why shouldn’t we?”

“Come on, Trystan.” She lowers her voice. “He got over me a long time ago. It isn’t fair to him or Emma to bring that up.”

Understanding comes in a flash. “He moved out so he wouldn’t have to see us together all the time.”

“And it was the right choice for all of us. That distance is one of the main reasons we were able to repair our friendship.” She smiles. “And the fact that he wasn’t living in the same palace as most of your siblings is why he was able to convince Emma to give him a chance.”

He takes a deep breath. He doesn’t want to hear this, but he knows he has to. “He’s lucky she did.”

“Oh, without a doubt. This is the happiest I’ve ever seen him. It might have taken them some time to get past the initial personality clash, but they’ve made up for lost time.”

“Right, yes. I never imagined they would get together when they first met.”

“Really? I could tell from the start. Whenever they got within five feet of each other, sparks flew.”

It’s suddenly hard to breathe. Stop talking. Please. “Did they? I never noticed.”

“Marguerite and I certainly did.”

“You talked about it?”

“Of course. She was the first to see it. She jokes that she would’ve paid more if she had known, when she hired Emma to find out who stole the designs from her collection, that she was hiring a future sister-in-law too.”

His heart in his throat, Trystan sinks his nails into his palms. “Sister-in-law?”

“Bas hasn’t said anything yet, but I know him. We’ll have another royal wedding soon.”

He can’t do this anymore. “If you have this covered, I think I’m going to lie down for a few minutes. It really was a bad night.”

As they stand in the parlor with their drinks that evening, he can’t help but remember the last family dinner he attended here. He couldn’t hold Emma’s hand or kiss her back then, either. But they exchanged covert smiles full of meaning – and promises for later.

This time, he’s standing with Juliana, something that would have made him inordinately happy once, as she chats with Marguerite. He supposes that he’s meant to be part of this conversation too, but all he’s managed so far are moderately well-timed monosyllables when they ask for his opinion on a topic.

From the corner of his eye, he sees Emma and Sebastyan standing close together, whispering to each other. They look lost in their own little world, and if he thought he’d been jealous before, it’s nothing compared to what he’s feeling now. She smiles at Bas the way she always smiles at him. Like he’s the only person in her world.

Feeling ill, he excuses himself and walks away.

He seeks shelter in one of the countless balconies in the palace, trying to breathe past the sheer grief of being thrust into a life he himself asked for without understanding the implications. This isn’t his life. He doesn’t want this to be his life. He wants New York, his friends, his job. Above all, he wants Emma.

As if conjured, she walks out and pauses upon seeing him. “My apologies, Your Majesty. I didn’t realize anyone was here.”

“No need to apologize. This balcony is big enough for both of us. And I told you to call me Trystan.”

“So you did.”

Apparently, Alternate Universe Emma can make him smile as easily as Original Emma. “But you’re planning to ignore me.”

“Yup.”

The single word amuses as much as it hurts. “Can I ask why?”

The look she gives him is so full of disdain, it feels like a punch to the gut.

“I deleted the mind-reading app from my phone, so I’m afraid I’ll have to ask you to use actual words.”

It would’ve made his Emma laugh. But this is Sebastyan’s Emma. The one who has given her loyalty to his brother, so she has no love lost for the irresponsible older brother who pawned his responsibilities onto Bas and treated him like an annoyance on top of it.

“Tempting, but I’d rather not get deported today, thanks all the same.”

“Consider this a free pass to tell me what you think of me. Deportation is off the table.”

“Fine. You’re an adult-sized toddler who’s spent his entire life dumping his responsibilities onto others. First your siblings, now your wife. And to top it all off, you have the gall to judge Sebastyan for not liking you.”

The words stab like knives. His lips twist into the mockery of a smile. “I did ask you.”

Emma’s eyes narrow. “You’re actually upset.”

He gives a humorless laugh. “Do you know many people who would be unbothered by that character assessment?”

“Astrid, the twins, Patryk.”

“And now you’re comparing me to them. It’s like a giant hug.”

Her lips twitch. “I’ll give you this, you’re probably not as bad as them.”

“Probably. Well, I can die happy now. Probably not as bad as a bunch of sociopathic narcissists is exactly how I want to be viewed.”

The look on her face… It reminds him of the way she looked at him when they were first getting to know each other. Reluctantly amused. Intrigued against her better judgement. Whatever happens next, he wants to fall to his knees and thank the universe for once again giving him the chance to see her look at him without animosity.

“It’s good to have goals.” She walks to the door, stops for a moment. “This has been… illuminating. Your Majesty.”

He watches her go, his heart aching.

“Oh.”

He jumps at the surprised sound, his head swiveling to meet Juliana’s eyes. There’s no mistaking the hurt in them. Guilt churns in him as he easily imagines what she saw on his face when he looked at Emma.

Longing.

“Juli…”

She turns on her heel and leaves.

Juliana doesn’t say a word – at first. She talks and laughs like nothing has happened, giving nobody any indication that anything’s amiss. But when his parents and siblings retire to their suites, she whirls on him.

“Is there something between you and Emma?”

“No!” Not in this universe, anyway. But he must have hesitated for a split second too long because twin sparks of fury and pain light up in Juliana’s eyes.

“How could you do this? She’s Sebastyan’s girlfriend!”

“Juli, there is nothing between me and Emma.”

Something in his tone takes the fight out of her. Sorrow fills her eyes. “Do you realize how sad you sound when you say that?”

What can he say to that? Deny it? It’s devastating to him that he and Emma aren’t together. This was supposed to be their Christmas. The first of their lives together.

“I don’t… I’m not sad.” He’s not. He’s heartbroken. And from the look on Juliana’s face, he’s not the only one.

“You forget, Trystan, I know what you look like when you’re in love. I would recognize that look in your eyes anywhere.”

“I’m not…” The words die in his throat. He can’t bear for her to think that her husband is in love with another woman. But everything in him revolts at the idea of denying his feelings for Emma. He’s not doing that. Not ever again. “Juli, I swear to you, the man you married only has eyes for you.”

It isn’t a lie. He’s sure that the Trystan who married Juliana has never stopped being in love with her. But… that’s not him. He stopped being the Trystan that Juliana knew eight years ago.

“I’ll sleep in my rooms tonight.”

Her little sidelong glance tells him that she’s hoping he’ll protest. But he can’t. Different universe or not, the only person he wants in his bed is Emma.

He retires to his own suite and tries not to think that somewhere in the floor below, Emma is sharing a room with Sebastyan.

Firs and spruces. Hot cocoa and candy. This time, Trystan recognizes the Christmas tree farm immediately. Relieved, he wanders off in search of Jacob.

“Looking for me?” He appears out of thin air, dragging a Douglas fir.

“What have you done?”

“I gave you what you wanted.”

“This is not what I wanted. I wanted to save Juliana and Sebastyan, not lock myself into a completely different life!”

“You wanted to make different choices, and I gave you the opportunity to do that. Different choices lead to different lives, Trystan.”

He grits his teeth. “Undo it.”

“I’m afraid I don’t have that power.”

“Are you saying I’m doomed to spend the rest of my life watching the woman I love be in love with someone else? That I lost my best friends and my job? And there’s nothing I can do about it?”

“You misunderstand. I can’t undo it. You can.”

“How?”

“You have to accept.”

“Accept what?”

Jacob smiles. “Everything.”

The Christmas ball is magnificent.

It meets 21-year-old Juliana’s expectations and then some. Trystan has never seen the ballroom so exquisitely decorated, or actual enjoyment on the faces of their guests.

He finds himself sitting at the main table, next to Juliana and right across from Emma and Sebastyan. He was worried at first that Juliana’s behavior towards Emma would be different, but he should have known better. Juli would never hold someone’s feelings against another person. Regardless of who either of them is.

As the night unfolds, conversation turns to Emma’s job. Private investigators are unusual enough to perk their tablemates’ interest.  

“What was your worst case?” Markarov asks.

Emma’s hand tightens on the stem of her wine glass, her eyes shadowed. Trystan knows, without a doubt, what she’s about to say. “Have you heard of the Heartache Killer?”

Some of the people at the table gasp. Others simply look confused.

“It’s the serial killer who murdered Sonja Dormer,” Juliana explains somberly.

“Oh, I remember that. The killer was never caught, were they?”

Trystan sucks in a breath.

“No,” Emma says, her expression shuttered. “As far as I know, the police never even got a real lead.”

“It’s a shame you couldn’t take the case after you found her,” Marguerite says. “You would’ve found the killer.”

“Yeah, well, I was hired to find Sonja. I wasn’t hired to find her murderer.” She sighs. “I wish I had been though. Her mother never got the answers she needed.”

Trystan stands up and excuses himself. It’s utterly unbecoming of a king, but he can’t be in this room any longer.

He makes his way to the same balcony where he and Emma talked yesterday. He needs the familiar to deal with the awful information he’s just learned. Eleanor and Tony are still out there. How many more victims are there now that the only people investigating are the likes of Morris and Holbeck?

He closes his eyes. How did he fail to consider that he and Emma only ever met because of Sonja’s murder? That the only reason she ever agreed to see him again after that first day was because he hired her to catch the killer? Without him and Emma, Sonja, Bethany, and Reese would never have gotten justice. Without the two of them, working side by side, Tony and Eleanor would still be at large, adding to their tally of victims.

It turns out he can’t undo his original life, the one he looked back on with such regret, without undoing the good he did for other people along with it. And if that’s the case… Does that mean he shouldn’t feel guilty in the first place? That he should accept that all lives come with good and bad experiences, that all choices lead to mixed outcomes, and you never know how far the ripple effect will reach? That it’s pointless to linger on "bad" choices unless it’s to learn from them?

Suddenly, something envelops Trystan. It’s a strange sensation, unusual enough that it takes him a moment to recognize it, break it down.

Relief.

Acceptance.

Peace.

The balcony, the palace, Drakovia, it all blurs around him. He feels a floating sensation for a second. Then it all goes black.

He awakens with a jolt. A quick look around tells him he’s half-seated, half-lying on the couch, the remote still in his hand. The Christmas tree he decorated with Emma glitters in the dark.

He’s home.

He stands, shoves his keys into his pocket, and leaves.

A quick visit to the bar lets him know that Emma already went home. He redirects his steps towards her apartment, knocking urgently on the door once, twice, three times when it takes her more than five seconds to answer.

“I’m coming! For the record, it’s too damn late for this.” She yanks the door open. “Trystan? What are you doing here?”

He drinks her in. She’s wearing the Christmas sweater that Ruby gave her after Thanksgiving, the one she made her promise to wear a few times before relegating it to the back of her closet. For all of Emma’s grumbling, he’s convinced that she secretly loves it.  Her hair stands on end around her face, and her eyes are bleary with sleep.

It’s Emma. His Emma.

He takes one long step, gathering her to his chest with crushing force. “I missed you.”

“O… kay. Trystan, it’s been, like, three hours.”

He holds her closer. “It felt longer.”

“Hey.” She runs a hand up and down his back. “What’s going on?”

“You wouldn’t believe me if I told you.”

“Try me.”

“I will, but… let’s just stay like this for a while.” He buries his face in her neck, breathing in the scent of her. “Please.”

She says nothing. Instead, she tugs him into the apartment and leads him to her bed. They curl up together, not speaking, simply holding each other. It’s exactly what he needs.

“Emma?”

“Hmm?”

He cups her jaw and looks into her eyes. “I love you with every beat of my heart. You know that, right?”

She turns her head, kisses his palm. “Right back atcha.”

They lie there together until they fall asleep. For the first time, he doesn't regret a thing.

[isabeljkim]

What the hell is going on with Day Ten Thousand:

Day Ten Thousand was weird enough that I felt like it deserved directors commentary, even though I’ve stopped explaining myself mostly except when I do.

Here’s a disclaimer before we begin: don’t read too much into it. I've noticed our culture wants to explain young womens’ art as some sort of public confessional booth and our current culture has a fetish for the autobiographical. Fuck that. I didn’t write three different POVs and three interlocking nonlinear narratives about the nature of storytelling as a psychic technology to be told that my writing isn’t a calculated Craft with a capital C. Now whether it is good Craft is a decision for you, not for me. 

Anyway. 

Day Ten Thousand is a satire of an Isabel story by way of Vonnegut pastiche. We’ll come back to this. 

I called Day Ten Thousand “psychoanalysis bait” on twitter so I shall put all my cards on the table so that your psychoanalysis is at least accurate. Note that these are only my cards, because other people deserve their privacy. I guess you could probably Google all of this but like, jeez. Don’t.

I had a pretty regular time in college except for the tangential deaths. 

When I was twenty, I was the opinion editor for my university newspaper and a girl who was a friend of a friend killed herself by walking in front of a subway. There was then a sort of a small suicide bubble which was a little bit public because we were an Ivy, and one of my opinion columnists was kinda suicidal, and I, without any training, ended up in charge of writing a front page editorial about the mental health crisis on campus on account of the dead kids, etc, and talk to administration about the dead kids. 

I hate talking about dead kids. Don’t ask me about it, or about the reporting. I don’t want to talk about it. 

The whole thing sucked shit and it’s why I’m a lawyer now and not a reporter. 

If this was a story that would be the only fact, but this is reality so I have to mention that a couple years later a guy I knew got literally hate crimed and murdered in a forest. I found out about that because I saw his friend crying in public and didn’t stop to ask what was wrong. Later I heard about this in the news, and realized my acquaintance had been Literally Fucking Murdered. A few months ago I had been arguing with him in the literary magazine editors meeting about whether a poem was good or not. I think he won that argument. Then he was murdered for being gay. 

These were my introductions to the specific emotion of “sometimes people die and you don’t feel like you get to feel bad about their deaths and you still think about it a couple times a month seven years later.” 

You can probably guess where the subject material of this story came from.

Day Ten Thousand was a story about inevitable deaths, and the difference between a death in a story and a death in reality, and about…the way a death marks a narrative and a real life and how it becomes fictionalized over time. I also saw a clean way to finally do my deep time / far future story, which was something I had been thinking about on and off for a couple of years (the original version was about a shaman in the deep-time era who has a vision about having to do a murder re: preserving genetic material for the future, but it never really gelled in a way that made sense). 

I had also been wanting to write something a little metafictional, because I felt like I was writing the same story over and over (if you’ve noticed my stuff getting weirder, that’s why. I was on a bit of an experimentalist kick late last year and early this year). 

So it’s a satire of an Isabel story. I’m self-aware enough to note my obvious recurring motifs: time travel, dead people, grief, people who have a weird relationship to each other, a third-act twist, the tendency to punctuate with in-universe facts to imply emotion, to tell x in order to show y, egregious and blatant use of the second person. And then there’s the stuff that you wouldn’t know, but I do: I dislike writing in the first person, I wanted to do something nonlinear, I think a lot about stories about stories, about the idea of a story as a technology, I find myself dropped into recursive fate-like thought patterns. So a lot of this story is both my self-deprecating poking fun at myself and my habits, and also my thesis statement about…what is the point of fiction if not to make sense of the past and the future, I suppose.

The reason it is a Vonnegut pastiche is because I like Vonnegut a lot and I was trying to do something Slaughterhouse-5-ish with drastically less fucked source material. Sorry Kurt. 

There are three stories happening in Day Ten Thousand, and a secret fourth story. Each story is a suicide loop. The protagonist is trying to break a specific loop by telling a story. This story is about accepting what you have to, and changing what you can. This is a story about letting go and also not letting go. The emotional range of each narrative affects the other psychically, because by changing the vibe of the metanarrative, the individual narratives are allowed to change. 

The story in the archaic is a story that is being told postmortem, it is all hypotheticals based on fact. The story in the future is a singular narrative happening in real time until it isn't. And the story in the present is a guy telling the story about the future, which requires him to tell the story about the past as well, and mostly what Dave is doing here is avoiding the question, but it reflects how Dave thinks about the girl dying in front of the train. 

Does that make sense? No? That’s fair. That’s a postmortem explanation of what actually happened. What actually happened is that I rewrote Day Ten Thousand six times, each time more frustrating than the last, each time with the neutral-ish narrator taking up more and more air. And over time the narrator became a participant, and that’s what created the secret fourth story between “you” and the narrator. 

I had thought there were only three loops that needed to be escaped - the past (archaic, pinned story), and the future (space station, mutable fact), and that the present (the narrator’s world) was something that was static (pinned fact). After all, the girl’s already dead. She’s already stepped in front of the train. 

But the narrator isn’t doing so hot. The narrator is also Dave. And the narrator is telling the story to someone. Somewhere between version one and version six, I realized the only version of this story that makes sense is the one where the story is a conversation, and that you and I, as the narrator and the person at the other end, were also in a loop. 

So. That's whats happening.

I’m not sure if I love the ending. But I rewrote it six times and this one felt as final as it is going to get. I am done reinventing the fucking wheel. You know how it is with spaghetti. Promise I’ll write you something normal next time, I think I’ve gotten the avant- garde out of my system for a few months. 

And hey, I know I said all cards on the table but people deserve their privacy and that includes the kid i used to be when I was twenty, sitting in the shitty little windowless opinion column office, writing about suicide. 

Anyway. Day Ten Thousand is about stuff and things. Themes. So it goes. 

Thanks for reading. I’ll see you later. 

If that was too depressing for you, here are some fun facts: 

The main character is Dave after 2001: A Space Odyssey because I had wanted to make a “I’m sorry Dave I can’t do that” joke, but I couldn’t shove it in :( 

I just thought that phlebotomist was a funny word but I also fucked myself because I misspelled it every time. 

I reread half of Slaughterhouse Five to write this but then my copy got returned to the library automatically so I didn’t finish it. (yes, I’ve read it before, like three times)  

I took one single evolutionary anthropology course in college and it shows.  

I did end up looking at the wikipedia page for “the wheel” for this and then wondering exactly what I was doing with my life. 

About half the facts in this are real, and I read a couple of papers for a couple of things in it (that I promptly then ignored), but the rockets-rome-horse’s ass thing is specifically a story that my friend Max H. likes to tell. 

[agried]

HiMERU - Haunting Midnight Wings

Have you heard of the abandoned mansion that no one, not even the king, dares to touch? The rumor is that once, long ago, there were five noble houses united under the crown. From the beginning, the fifth house was already small, but when their numbers began to dwindle further, the other nobles saw an opportunity. At midnight, their hired assassins slaughted the mansion's inhabitants. Not even the young master's butler was spared, killed while spiriting the boy away. When the bodies were counted, however, the young heir was nowhere to be found. And ever since that night, those foolish enough to intrude have found themselves tormented by will-o-the-wisps, glowing yellow eyes, and echoing chimes. "How rude of them to leave so quickly. HiMERU was simply reminding them of dinnertime. "Oh? You, however, seem quite unafraid. In that case, perhaps you'd like to stay a while?"

this was a fanmade outfit for @ensemblelive's vtuber au! design notes, commentary, and front view fullbody under the cut.

oh, this was so difficult. i'm a ghost enthusiast, so i was struck by the thought of making a ghost outfit/alternate lore for himeru. but i don't draw often— i'm mostly a writer. i'm not great at art, and when i do draw, i usually have to simplify complicated designs. i was now Making a complicated design. you see the problem.

anyway, i guess it mostly worked out. at least it wasn't genshin level of complicated. sorry to everyone who had to hear me talk nonstop about it for three days though.

designwise, himeru's outfits mostly fall into two extremes: entirely covered or chest window. since the base design chose one, i chose the other!

this design is primarily a mix of xxveil, romantic?date, and lucky scramble outfits. however, the ribbon detailing is from fs1. the tall boots also take inspiration from it too. the only things i kept from fs2 was the chain pattern and the sleeve ribbons… since these outfits are so formal, i had to lean into it and go for a butler theme alongside the initial ghost theme (i'm sorry yuzuru, it just fit too well).

lucky scramble also gave me another theme, which is butterflies! since butterflies have been symbols of the soul and omens of death, i thought it'd mesh perfectly. this is why the tailcoat somewhat resembles wings, and the inside lining is so brilliantly colored. there's also butterfly detailing on the back, the lapels, and the bolo tie.

because of these additional themes, despite "ghost" being the base of the design, i had trouble implementing something recognizable. eventually i decided to incorporate it into the hair and certain details (watch out wataru, himeru can have gravity-defying hair too!).

anyway, this was fun. i wasn't expecting to spend this much time on this, so i think if i do this again it'll be for the rest of my favorites whose original concepts interest me. (please spare me and don't release anyone else from alkakurei in the next week… /joking)

if anyone's interested in the design, do feel free to draw it, but please tag me if you do, i'd love to see it!

[tarisilmarwen]

Rebels Rewatch: "The Holocrons of Fate"

In which things get Force Weird and Maul is the actual worst.

Full disclaimer in the name of honesty, I still think Maul's "resurrection" in TCW was stupid. It will never not be stupid.

That being said, I'm glad they decided, "Well, let's actually do something interesting with him." once they had him.

Making him into a Sisyphean/Tantalus-figure--always reaching, never grasping--adds a layer of depth and tragedy to him. No matter how hard he tries, Maul will never gain what he seeks. When it's within his grasp, he will inevitably self-sabotage or have it slip away from him.

We meet him at a time in his life when he's just lost everything, again. He finds new purpose and motivation in the form of Ezra Bridger figuratively falling into his lap--here's someone to carry on his legacy, that he can mold and teach--but in his eagerness to have him, he irreparably damages any chance the boy would have had to learn from him willingly.

But like Sisyphus pushing at that rock, like Tantalus reaching for the grapes above him, he cannot stop trying.

Probably fitting that his question to the holocrons is an answer to the inevitable existential dread of his own existence.

But I'm getting waaaaaay ahead of myself, he hasn't even shown his ugly face yet.

Instead we drop in on Kanan and Ezra, on a CR90, presumably coming back from a mission they headed up. Ezra's asking after the holocron again, still not quite over his obsessive addiction to it, still hyper-focusing on it as the only good thing that could have possibly come out of the mess at Malachor.

"But if not to get the Sith holocron, why did Master Yoda send us to Malachor?" That's a good question. *stares at writers*

Kanan offers up the idea that is was for "a chance to destroy the Sith." Sure we'll go with that.

Their conversation is interrupted by them coming to their destination, a rendezvous point with another Rebel ship.

Thaaaaaaaaaat Maul has almost completely murderized. This scene is one of the ones that does a really good job subtly showing off Kanan's blindness. Ezra offers commentary for Kanan's benefit throughout, Kanan has a hand out to feel, he mentions the carbon scoring smell and inclines his ear towards the sounds coming from behind a door.

The only survivor can only gasp out about a "red blade... after you." ("you" being very specifically Ezra) and that the Ghost was in danger.

Right so I'd just like to emphasize, for the fandom's sake, Maul murdered an entire Rebel ship looking for Ezra.

Kanan and Ezra assume, naturally, that "red blade" means there's a new Inquisitor after them and rush to contact the Ghost. Whereupon they discover that it's Maul who's threatening them now.

And ooooooh Ezra's piiiiiiiiissed.

"No... I betrayed your friends, but I would have remained loyal to you." *rubs eyes* That's... There's not a significant emotional distinction there for Ezra, you know that right, Maul? Of course you don't.

Back when fandom was Absolutely Certain that Maul was going to successfully abduct Ezra in "Twilight of the Apprentice" there were theories flying around that Sabine would have to ply her Mandalorian connections in order to get information about where he might be hiding, since we knew by then her family had ties to Death Watch. Things didn't happen that way, obviously, but it was still nice to get a nod towards that connection.

Maul proceeds to be the world's worst houseguest, forcing Hera to take him on a "tour" of the ship while he comments snarkily about each room.

Like you have room to talk mister Lived In Literal Garbage For Years.

Anyway this tour seems to be mostly a ruse to look for Kanan's holocron, and Maul very creepily and uncomfortably pulls the information out of Hera's head. (Possibly along with Kanan's real name??? It was never actually elaborated on how Maul knows "Caleb Dume", but it would make the most sense he skimmed it from Hera, to throw her defenses off guard for his stronger mind probe.)

You leave mom alone you cockroach.

I know this is serious but boy I would have LOVED to hear the conversation Kanan and Ezra must have had with Sato when they got back.

"Hey we need to borrow a speeder to go out into the desert past the sensor beacon fence where all the spiders are to visit a giant weird Force Moose and retrieve a Sith Soul Jar because a creepy spike-horned Dark Side nutcase kidnapped everyone else on our crew."

I'm just picturing Sato throwing up his hands all, "Just take whatever you need."

Also amusing: the idea of Ezra trying to describe the Bendu to Kanan later.

I absolutely dig this idea of holocrons creating a Force Convergence powerful enough to grant visions. I'm always in favor of Jedi artifacts being just a little bit weird with the Force. I mean, kyber crystals sing and hum to Jedi, lightsabers are a living extension of the Force moving through them, their temples carry thousands of years of emotions and feelings sticking to the walls, why shouldn't their holocrons be able to join with Sith holocrons to make an oracle?

The Bendu says he's neutral but he's also clearly set up this little test in order to help heal the rift between Kanan and Ezra (and he gives a fond little smile when he can sense their reconciliation).

"Why take his weapon?" "He's got to learn to solve problems without it." *WEEPS IN FINALE FEELINGS REMEMBERING THAT EZRA LEFT HIS LIGHTSABER BEHIND AND RELIED ONLY ON HIS UNIQUE FORCE ABILITY TO CONNECT IN ORDER TO SAVE EVERYONE*

Lol @ Maul trying to blunt force the Jedi holocron open. My dude. My guy. You were the one to point out that Sith holocrons can only be opened by a Sith or one who thinks like them. Follows that Jedi holocrons might operate on the same principle? Maybe?

Not sure what the point is of getting to the engine room quietly given the racket y'all made literally a second ago.

This is actually a new part of the ship we haven't seen before now. It's accessed both by a grate in the floor under the main central ladder and the door at the very back of the cargo hold.

And this is a really clever idea with magnetizing the hold, remembering that Maul's legs are metal. They almost pull off their own rescue here.

Bastard.

Sans his lightsaber, Ezra reaches for his blaster holster instead. Except I think that's empty too, I looked but I didn't see it equipped.

Kanan senses his panic and distress from outside and follows in. This scene reminds me a little bit of when Vision!Kanan showed up in "Path of the Jedi". Not sure why, just kind of does.

Ezra instinctively moves to shield Kanan from the krykna, aww.

Ugh this return to that timid, self-protective pose. :( We haven't seen Ezra shield himself like that in ages and it makes him look so much smaller.

Kanan tells Ezra everything Ezra's been desperate to hear for six months:

It wasn't your fault.

I never blamed you.

Forgive yourself.

<333333333

Haven't talked about the music much but this is a nice rendition of Ezra's theme here for this heartwarming moment.

Ah noooooope I like the krykna EVEN LESS now, wtf is this it's creepy.

Ezra nervous little glances as the krykna uncurl. <3

Ezra passing Kanan's mask into his hand. <3

Bendu's "Once a secret is known, it cannot be unknown." was a lot more ominous in the trailers, ngl.

Kanan showing a remarkable amount of trust in Ezra, leaving the decision on whether to open up the Sith holocron or not up to him. Ezra looks trepidaciously at it a moment and then decides not to, passing it back to Kanan.

(And then he never touched the Dark Side again lol.)

I can't even be mad that Ezra got the first blind joke in. At least he beat Maul to the punch.

Hhggngnghhh I hate him so much this rat bastard trash man. He immediately takes advantage of Kanan's blindness to lead him to an airlock and tries to space him.

EZRA WASN'T EVEN OUT OF SIGHT LONGER THAN A MINUTE OR TWO, MAUL, CAN YOU NOT?!

You actually can survive the void of space very briefly. You have about 15 seconds before you pass out, possibly more if you exhale first.

Uggggggggghhhh this scene makes my skin crawl, Maul is literally fresh off his second attempt to murder Kanan and orders the droids to kill the rest and Ezra is standing there completely unaware of the danger he's in or what Maul's done.

Maul bald-face lies to him and tells him his friends are fine. Just imagining the horror of what would have happened if Kanan hadn't made it back inside, how Ezra would have emerged from the holocron vision only to learn the awful truth that Maul had killed everyone he loved, that he was alone, alone with a deranged murderer who had decided he was his apprentice...

*shudder*

As they prepare to join the holocrons, it's interesting to note that Ezra's wish is a bit Dark Side tinted--he wants the answer on how to destroy the Sith--while Maul's is Light--the vaguely described "hope". Hope for what it's not clear at first. Hope for meaning? Hope for purpose? Hope for another chance to fix what he considers the point at which things went wrong? Commentary from behind the scenes has said that Maul's motivation for revenge against Obi-Wan is primarily rooted in his fixation on his failure at Naboo. "If I can just kill this guy, the person who was there when everything went wrong, it will make it all better."

I think, given that Maul had become self-consciously legacy-minded, thinking about the future he planned to create with Ezra at his side, he turned his mind backwards to unfinished business from the past, messes he still had to clean up, in order to move forward.

And that's why he manipulates the holocron vision to show him Obi-Wan's fate.

This sequence is really pretty.

The music cue that accompanies this moment is not overly bombastic, but rather sly, mysterious, and eerie, high vocals mingling with strings to create an odd balance.

The resignation on Sabine, Hera, and Zeb's faces when the droids point their weapons. :(

Hera's elation when she hears Kanan there. :D The very worried Spacefamily books it to Ezra of course.

Maul doesn't see anything from the vision at first, "Only oblivion!" he says, because the path he's on can only lead him there and urges Ezra to "Go deeper!" It just occurred to me that he's basically doing what his old master Palpatine would try to do in Season Four--piggybacking off Ezra's connection and using him as a conduit to achieve what he wants. He pushes Ezra to look harder because he can't see anything himself.

The brighter burst of blinding light could have just been an effect of Maul and Ezra sinking deeper into the vision but also I like to think Maul manipulated the convergence to try to keep the others away because it swells up right when we hear Hera calling for Ezra.

This bit is so cool, the Force is so loud and present in the room that Kanan's blindness doesn't matter, he can physically see through it even with his ruined eyes. Hera's voice distorts and fades as if it's coming across a large distance even though Kanan only goes a couple steps away. The orchestra rouses with full strings and chorus. The negative film effect makes Kanan, Ezra, and Maul look like celestial figures of pure energy.

THE WAY THIS IS BOTH (LITERALLY) ABOUT THE TWIN SUNS OF TATOOINE AND (FIGURATIVELY) ABOUT LUKE AND LEIA, THE CHILDREN OF THE CHOSEN ONE AND THE TWO MOST KEY PLAYERS IN THE ULTIMATE DESTRUCTION OF THE SITH.

THE WAY ALL THREE OF THEM--LUKE, LEIA, AND EZRA--ARE NARRATIVE "CHOSEN ONES" WITHOUT BEING THE IN-TEXT CHOSEN ONE, HOW THE FORCE STILL PUTS THEM IN KEY PLACES IN ORDER TO BRING ABOUT THE FULFILLMENT OF THE PROPHECY.

THE PATH TO LIRA SAN WILL BE DECIDED BY THE FATE OF THE THREE.

Ezra ultimately trusts Kanan and looks away just before Maul can discern where, exactly, Obi-Wan is. The severed connection explodes outwards, throwing them all across the room, and the holocrons are shattered.

Maul's cackling and crazed body language as he stumbles out to escape make it seem like the knowledge that Obi-Wan's alive has actually driven him insane. It's quite disconcerting.

The Spacefamily surrounding Ezra worriedly. <3 You have to wonder if Kanan is fearing a repeat of Ezra's collapse back in "Gathering Forces", if perhaps for a moment he's a bit too still here.

Oh look the two Most Important People in Ezra's life and narrative journey!

The way Kanan keeps his hand on Ezra's shoulder until the very end. <333333

With a few minor nitpicks (mostly that a few of the mysteries aren't well explained or answered, see Maul's knowledge of Kanan's real name) this is a pretty solid episode, a worthy follow-up to the premiere. We continue to settle Ezra's Dark Side temptations, burying them mostly for good in this episode, though the lingering effects it had on him emotionally will continue well into his characterization, motives, and arc down the line.

Maul is an awful bastard in this and such a good villain. :) He's so much more confident and assured of himself, clear-headed and calculating. 0 for 2 on successfully kidnapping Ezra but his menace will still pervade and influence a lot of Ezra's decisions this season.

I'll talk more about the overall effects and purpose of the holocron arc when we come to its end in "Twin Suns" but for now I'll just enjoy this episode once again, it's great.

[kadavernagh]

Besides the ring, which Regan already received, Jade managed to sneak more stuff inside Regan’s bag as parting gifts. When will she see them? Who knows. 

One is Jade’s favorite jacket. She finally figured out why Regan asked for it all those months ago, so it’s been sprinkled with some of her perfume. There’s also Jade’s old mp3 player, but it doesn’t have a playlist. Instead Jade uploaded audios of her reading different scientific articles about varied topics, especially involving ulcers or sepsis. It’s not a straight read, actually, it’s not even edited, so it has her own added commentary on the things she finds weird or yucky or that she simply doesn’t understand, as if she were talking to Regan. The last file however, is CRJ’s “Run away with me”. The third gift is a card, that when opened will have a paper sheet with a printed photo of an x-ray, from when Jade broke her fingers a few years back. It’s the closest she could get to the real x-ray. The note (which was written before their non-proposals) reads:

I’ll never stop being jealous of Ireland, but I know you have to go. So go be that girl, go show all those hags who the real harbinger of death is. You can do it. I believe in you, more than you can even imagine and maybe you’ve realized by now, I’m always right. Thank you for letting me see the soggiest parts of your heart, they really are the moistest I’ve ever seen. And I know the puddle will complicate things over there, but I’ll take those few months of sog over no sog at all. And I think you definitely agree.

I hope my voice keeps you company during the flight. And that the jacket keeps you warm in Ireland. It should fit… I stole it from my sister, once upon a time.

The x-ray isn’t just to titillate you, but like… it should :) It’s also my final promise to you. A preview of it: My bones. You can have them, they’re yours, when I end up going to the farm upstate (there’s no farm, I’ll be dead). The rest of me belongs to you already, anyway. So maybe this is how we are meant to be together in the end. You were the associate of a lifetime, the dream collaborator, and if you ever wondered why I never gave you that extra title, that’s cause I did. You always had better title in my heart, but…too warm. Plus, maybe you’d find it ironic. It might even go against your bansheeness. Cause like, you wanna be as close to death as possible, right? But to me, you became hayati (my life).

 There’s no good way to close this, is there? Except, I love you, Regan. And I know you do too. And we’re gonna be okay. It’s okay to do what must be done. I’m proud of you.  See you in a few decades, hayati. You’ll have to be patient, cause I plan on being careful :) And sure, I won’t be as fleshy, but you’ll be just as beautiful, so we’ll make it work. OH! Pet some sheep for me. But like, not all… I’m still mad at them. 

Okay, here we go. Buh-bye

- Jade <3

PS: Yup, the blotches are tears, what about it?

[jmagnabo92]

CBS Ghosts - Pilot - Ghosts on the Accident

OOOOH the reaction to Sam’s accident.  

Please note, some of my commentary mentions things for throughout both seasons of the show so far.

Gifs and discussion below.

Okay - when did the ghosts gather?  When Jay went running out of the room?  When the ambulance showed up?  When?  Also, is Alberta missing in this scene?  Is Sass?  How ARE THEY NOT THERE?  Like this is a BIG EVENT - ALL of the ghosts should be there.

ANYWHO.

It’s AMAZING how attached Hetty became in just a short while to Sam.  She went from “ew I hope we’re not related” to “Eh, she’s nice” to “How dare you murder my kin - I love her” real fast.  

I can’t believe she accuses Trevor of murder though - Trevor is NOT the murdering kind, Hetty.  Literally, Alberta has buried bodies, Flower has chased down runners, Thor’s an actual murderer, and big spoilers here: your son (should be grandson) murdered one of your own and you’re accusing him without letting him explain???? RUDE.

Side note, Pete raised his hands to stop her and potentially step in.

I LOVE that Trevor defends himself.  He looks SO YOUNG and AFRAID, but like he does with the ‘embarrassment’ conversation - he stands up for himself.  He just wanted to beat the vase - he wasn’t thinking about Sam or anyone else getting hurt.  He just wanted to win - and he would never hurt anyone.  

This moment right here is when it became clear that Trevor was far too innocent (might not be the right word) and kind to really be the image he projects.  

Poor kid.  

Also, one thing to note - I think he’s afraid that he might’ve caused Sam to die young because he absolutely reliving his own death.  As the most recently dead, there’s no way that he’s not flashing back to his death.  

OMG that makes Hetty accusing him of murder & the situation where everyone’s looking at him like he’s guilty SO MUCH WORSE.

For some reason, I don’t have a gif of Pete saying that he’s right and defending him, but I know he did it and I’m SO GLAD that Trevor has back up because no one else was going to give him the benefit of the doubt and that just bites.

Trevor deserves better.

Okay - when did Jay change?  Did he leave Sam to change?  

Also, Thor - Husband guy = sad, of course he is!  Sam’s nearly dead and might not make it!  Why wouldn’t he be sad.

OOOOh - Isaac makes a good point - they fought over this dumbass rundown house and he would feel SO GUILTY if she didn’t make it.  Like fighting over the house and then she dies - ouch.  Anyway, I can’t imagine how terrified Jay is right now.  

Side note - what did the ghosts in the shed/basement think about these events?

Poor Jay.

I love this tidbit about Flower.  We learn right away that she cares deeply for Ira and that he was WITH her when she ‘wandered over to the property’.  

Also, it’s so weird how connected she is to Ira only for her to later say ‘she’s got commitment issues, man’.  

Side note, she tries to cover up Ira’s feelings for her with “also, bear.”  So...

So, we learn something about Pete, too.  

A) Married to Carol

B) Fought with her the day he died. 

Pete looks so chill talking about the fight with Carol and just sitting there like... life lesson quietly.  

OMG this Speech about how you never know when the last moment is going to be and how important it is.  And it’s SO GOOD seeing Sam&Jay - particularly Jay as Jay goes through hell watching her go through all these things and just HOPING that she makes it through.

Side note - obviously, it’s the show so they wouldn’t hire Jay’s parents/sister for this one scene, but with knowing that ALL Bela did was send some flowers, I have to wonder if he went through this alone?  Because they could’ve just mentioned his family supporting him in through this.

In fact, based off the off-hand remarks about the money, I assume that his parents were less than supportive - I really, really want more on that.  

Poor Jay, though.

ANYWAY, that’ll come later.

OOOOOKAYYYYYY.  So, Pete ruins a fantastic speech by remembering what the fight was about - which that’s one of the dumbest fights to have and not resolve.  

This tells us ALOT about Carol/Pete - they fought about something small, didn’t bother to make up and then he died.  He says he thinks that she did it to spite him because ‘she didn’t even like donut holes’, and we know she was cheating, but you have to wonder - how did they get there?  How did a 16 year marriage get to that kind of place?  

Also, knowing what we know about Pete ‘taking it’, I wonder if they both had like a score card?  I wonder when things fell apart?  I wonder if Carol was as hurt that Pete died after such a pointless fight?  I really want to know.

OOOOOOH, Side note - is this the only time Hetty uses a shortened name?

LOL - Pete’s just like “Okay, calm down - anyway, life is precious” like he didn’t just spaz about donut hole fights.  

LMAO - what an ending - Thor is like “Donut holes?”  and Pete is just like “It’s - well, nothing...”

Still, this scene gave us good info on Trevor, Pete, and Flower - the youngest ghosts whose deaths are the closest all have stronger reactions to what happened.  

Pete & Flower talking about their deaths in some detail.  

Trevor looks white as a sheet, very freaked out in the beginning about possibly causing Sam’s death.  He absolutely doesn’t want someone to be dead because of him.  Poor Trev has been through it.

Thanks for reading :). Feel free to chat about it.

[penguinpartypalooza]

SKIP DATING SIM 2: ELECTRIC BOOGALOO ENDING GUIDE

GET READY GAMERS BECAUSE HAHA THIS IS GONNA BE SEMI SPOILERS!

SKIP THE BELLHOP LOBBY (ON OPTIONS) AIRPODS - Click on airpods

CORK BOARD - Click on cork board, loops

PUFFLE TREATS - Click on book, loops

PIZZA PARLOR PIANO ENDING - Before the pizza options when Skip says “I think I know what I want, have you chosen yet?” , click on the piano. This will unlock the piano ending for you! Remember to keep saying a slice of you.

ISLAND UNLOCK - Cheese pizza route, kiss him option, when YHN says "You pulled away from him, a spark in your eyes as you gave him a warm smile. This was your moment! This was the best night of your life so far! Probably. I don’t know. Seemed like a boring date to me at least." click on the photo in the background. This will unlock the rest of the island for you!

SKI HILL

WEEZER - Click hot cocoa, then when the next option tree pops up asking what you want to talk about, click the loss sign.

DANCE LOUNGE

ANGER REDFOO THE GOD - When you dance with Skip and press shuffle, YHN will say this "Determination in your soul you went above and beyond, making sure every move hit the beat. The low part was coming up, you looked to Skip.". Press the speaker to your right on this line.

BECOME A WORM - Choose the worm option, choose the worm to the RIGHT option, then when it goes to the line "Lights blared on you, the world seemed to turn into a blur. This was your moment, this was where you were going right with your life." click the pumpkin on the left.

CALIFORNIA GURLS - On the dancing options, click the post its

COFFEE SHOP A FAMILIAR FACE... - When ordering, order the casual and sit in the back. Change direction of the conversation and when the line "He gave you a smile as you excitedly nodded. This was your chance! You needed to see that hotel for yourself and no one was going to get in the way of that! At least you don’t think anyone could. This was your chance to finally get to go back there with Skip." pop's up, click the cult writing on the chalk board behind Skip.

DJ MAXX'S DANCE LOUNGE ROUTE: DEV COMMENTARY - on the options on where to run, click these goobers :]

JPG'S ROUTE - To get here, go to The Forst and pause. From there, run back to the Plaza and pause again. This will K.O. you but don't worry! This is how you get to the JPG route. EPIC ANIME DEATH MOMENT - When options show up on this route, click the among us.

GARY AND GARY DOES METH - When options show up, press the ghosts on the machine.

Ŗ̸̴̛͖̮̱͕͉̯̫͓̳̦̳͇̮͙̺̓̍̐͌ͪ̊̈̍ͩ̋̇́̇O̧̨̤̦͍̗̦͕̪̲͇͖̣͊͛̽ͥ͊̋ͥ̿̇͌̋̔͢͡_̖̿ͪ̽̊ͫͅR̢̠̯ͦ̎ͨY͚̹͓͙͍͉͇̌̍̍̔͋̅̐̓̑ͤͯ̇͜͜

Ꞩꝋᵯēⱦħīꞥꞡ īꞩꞥ'ⱦ ɍīꞡħⱦ ⱳīⱦħ ⱦħīꞩ ꝋꞥē… Ehhem...test? Testing? This should be working... Haha sorry for the glitch there guys! Weird, right? Anyways ???? -ĐØ₦'₮ ₮ɆⱠⱠ Ⱨł₥ ₳₦Ɏ₮Ⱨł₦₲. ₳₵₵Ɇ₱₮ ₮ⱧɆ Ø₣₣ɆⱤ, ₩ⱧɆ₦ ł₮ ₴₳Ɏ₴ ".ǝʞods ǝɥ ǝɹoɟǝq ʇᴉq ɐ ɹoɟ ᵷuᴉʞuᴉɥʇ ǝq ʇsnꓩ oʇ pǝɯǝǝs ǝH .uɐɯ ɹǝɥʇo ǝɥʇ oʇ ʎɐs oʇ ʇɐɥʍ ʍouʞ ʇ’upᴉp noʎ sɐ ǝsɐǝun ɟo ʇᴉq ɐ ʇʅǝɟ no⅄ .ǝɹoɟǝq uɐɥʇ ǝᵷuɐɹʇs ǝɹoɯ uǝʌǝ noʎ ʇɐ ᵷuᴉʞooʅ ǝɹoɟǝq ǝʅɐɥuᴉ dɹɐɥs ɐ ᵷuᴉʞɐʇ ,ʎɯɯɐʅɔ ʇᴉq ɐ pǝʞooʅ ʎɹoꓤ" ȼłīȼҟ ⱦħē ꝑꝋꞩⱦēɍ.

DON'T JOIN - ᴎioꞁ ƚ'ᴎoᗡ. When it says "Ħīꞩ ē��ēꞩ ⱳēɍē ӻᵾłł ꝋӻ ꝑⱥꞥīȼ. Ħē ⱳⱥꞩ ⱦⱥꝑꝑīꞥꞡ ħīꞩ ӻłīꝑꝑēɍ ᵯꝋɍē ꝋꞥ ⱦħē ⱦⱥƀłē ⱥꞩ ħē łꝋꝋҟēđ ⱥⱳⱥɏ, ⱦħēꞥ ƀⱥȼҟ ᵾꝑ ⱥⱦ ɏꝋᵾ. Ħē ⱳⱥꞩ ⱦɍɏīꞥꞡ ⱦꝋ ҟēēꝑ ħīꞩ ꝟꝋīȼē ⱥꞩ ꝗᵾīēⱦ ⱥꞩ ꝑꝋꞩꞩīƀłē." 🄲🄻🄸🄲🄺 🅃🄷🄴 𝙇̳̎𝙀̳̎𝘼̳̎𝙑̳̎𝙀̳̎ 𝙇̳̎𝙀̳̎𝘼̳̎𝙑̳̎𝙀̳̎ 𝙇̳̎𝙀̳̎𝘼̳̎𝙑̳̎𝙀̳̎

Aand that's the full guide! I hope you enjoy everything this team worked on! :D We all worked super hard so have some fun unlocking things you didn't have before!

[fathermarty]

The Better Potter ✰ James Potter

┌── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──┐

Pairing: Marauders Era x Fem!Reader -- James Potter's Twin sister

Request: @bloominghelianthus "Heyyy! So I just got this marauders era idea. Can you write a fic or headcanons where the reader is Jame's twin sister, but she is lesbian and a slytherin? She doesn't get involved with the blacks (except regulus) and doesn't end up a death eater. She is super sarcastic and sassy, but also really kind and caring. She would also have a gift that comes from her mother's line where she can see and communicate with the dead. What would her relationship be with her twin? Would the marauders get along with her? Thank you so much!"

Warning(s): swearing? i swear all the time sorry y'all, mentions of kissing, mentions of wrestling? (Let me know if I missed any)

M I N O R S D N I

└── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──┘

"Y/n Potter, the beloved daughter of Fleamont and Euphemia Potter, and arguably James Potter's better half," Y/n announces when entering the room of requirement, a place where you hang out with your brother and his friends daily.

"Oh c'mon y/n/n, we all know I am the better half in this twin dynamic." James says interrupting you mid stride.

"James if you EVER interrupt my bloody catwalk again I swear to Merlin I will kick your arse so hard you won't be able to sit down for a week!" You yell at him with gritted teeth.

"Kinky." Sirius chimes in from sitting at the table.

"EW!" Both you and James gag illustrating your disgust.

"I don't see how you guys even argue this, you're literally the same person," Remus states not looking up from his book.

"Are not!" You both yell in unison crossing your arms.

"Stop you are proving their point!" You yell as you push your brother to the ground.

"Why couldn't of I been the only child?" James says in defeat looking up at the ceiling from the spot where you pushed him down.

"Because Merlin knew he needed to combat your ugly mutt with something as beautiful as me. Plus one of us has to marry Lilly Evans, and I think I have a better shot than you, Jamie."

James tackles y/n to the ground and the twins are wrestling, a common occurrence between you and your brother. You are laughing while James yells; "LILLY IS GOING TO MARRY THIS POTTER, NOT YOU POTTER!"

"I GUESS WE WILL SEE ABOUT THAT JAMIE!" You broke free from your twin heading towards the Slytherin common room to get ready for the Quidditch match later this afternoon. You smile at the memory of your first real interaction with the red head.

☆。*。☆。

Lilly had actually been your first kiss, it was something that happened one night at a Gryffindor party. You were talking to her about how you were scared to tell people you were a lesbian in case they reacted poorly. She kissed you in front of everyone to show you that there was nothing to worry about.

You both were met with claps and whistling, but when you make eye contact with your twin he has conflicted emotions flashing over his face. "I am confused whether to give you a hug and say I am proud of you, or pummel you for kissing my Lilly Flower."

Lilly barked back at your brother, bickering like they usually do which allowed you to slip away.

You didn't get too far away before being stopped, "About bloody time, we've only known you liked women since forever." Sirius said to you.

"Yea, well I've known you liked Remus since, well, forever and you still haven't acted on that. Have you?"

☆。*。☆。

"AND THE POTTER'S ARE HEAD TO HEAD AGAIN, DODGING BLUDGERS AND GOING FOR THE QUAFFLE." The commentary made you laugh, everytime Slytherin played Gryffindor whoever was commentating made sure to bring up the sibling rivalry. Hell, might as well call this y/n Potter versus James Potter, that was how everyone else saw it anyway.

"SUCH AN INTENSE MATCH, THE POTTER TWINS ARE HEAD TO HEAD. THROWING ELBOWS AND NASTY SHOTS AT ONE ANOTHER." You laugh at this, every movement that is made between you two is taken as an act of hostility.

The truth is you both promised your mum, Euphemia, that you would not cause bodily harm to others during a Quidditch match. Euphemia definitely ate her words when Dumbledore sent her an owl saying you two got into a physical altercation.

"I told you guys to caught no bodily harm to one another!"

"Actually mum, you said not to cause harm to the other during a Quidditch match. This was just us fighting over the last piece of bacon." James and you both high-five the other with wide grins.

You and James may wrestle, but neither of you hit the other. When wrestling neither of you is out to hurt the other, and you both know that. Even though it isn't always said, the bond between you two is special and one will do whatever needs to be done to protect the other.

"I CAN'T BELIEVE IT, Y/N POTTER JUST TOOK THE BAT FROM THE SLYTHERIN BEATER AND SMACKED HIM IN THE FACE WITH IT. BLOODY HELL IS HIS NOSE--"

The comments are cut off as Madam Hootch blows her whistle, you know you are going to be thrown out of the game, but Knott targeted no one except your brother. Even when he didn't have the Quaffle. You had enough of his shenanigans, hence why you broke his bloody nose with his own bat.

☆。*。☆。

The party that night was in the Gryffindor common room, obviously down their best chaser Slytherin lost. When you walked into the common room, still wearing your Quidditch robes the Gryffindor's threw you on their shoulders.

"ALL HAIL THE POTTER PRINCESS!" James and Sirius yell in unison.

"Put be down before I hex the whole lot of you."

Once returned to your feet your brother throws his arm over your shoulder. "You had some bloody brilliant flying out there sis, and that back hand with that bat was amazing. Wish dad would have been able to see it."

You chuckle at your brother. Plenty of people assume that having James as your twin is the worse thing, but they couldn't be more wrong. It didn't matter you were in Slytherin, nor did it matter you were a lesbian. He loves you, and you will always be his younger sister. (Even if it is only by three minutes max.)

─── · 。ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

HELLO MY LOVES, two posts in one day! (Technically three but the other wasn't Harry Potter related, whoops. If you would like some insight and understanding of what BPD is like, you can click here to read my experiences.) I had a rough day at work and I knew this was sitting in my inbox waiting for me to write it. I am beyond happy with how this turned out.

@bloominghelianthus I do apologize for not working on every detail you gave me! I felt like adding more would take away from the detail I already added. If you would like to submit another request with something based on seeing and communicating with the dead you are more than welcome to. I already kinda have an idea. hehe

Anywho, I hope you lovely humans have had a good day!!!

[fountainpenguin]

Added a tag on my blog for #flower exes in case you're a follower who wants to block analyses/commentary like this going forward. I'll try to make a list of other tags that might be useful for other relationships.

---

ngl but I think this snippet from Scott's Real Life POV:

Scott: /kills Jimmy Jimmy staring as Scott hands him a flower: You know what happens if you give me this... [Marriage proposal] Scott, almost dismissively: Yeah, it worked last time Jimmy, after Scott hands him a flower: You are not forgiven Scott, having already walked away and not even looking at him: Thank you Jimmy for forgiving me!!

is just such a painfully accurate mirror of how I see their characters' roleplay in general. Like!!!! I just have to talk about it, sorry. I'm obsessed.

---

This is about the Jimmy & Scott dynamic. Not using their duo name so it doesn't show up in tags.

This is about characters, not real people; my personal interpretation of their dynamic. I'm very aware IRL Jimmy lets people mock him for silly dynamics and that everyone is friends.

Disclaimer, I haven't watched their 3rd Life POVs start to end since late 2022, I think? I may have some details wrong.

---

To me, Character Scott exists in this void where he can do and say whatever he wants to Character Jimmy, including ripping him and his skills apart both in front of people and behind his back (Ex: Dogwarts banner burning / bringing up Jimmy's failure with their allies in front of Jimmy and mocking him).

Scott does this several times in 3rd Life. He calls Jimmy his husband, but doesn't seem to respect him... I really want to comb back through 3rd Life sometimes because I remember him calling Jimmy's house ugly and creating a wall so he doesn't have to look at it.

Anyway, he mocks Jimmy's skills and decision-making in regards to all 3 of his husband's deaths, I'm pretty sure (Stuff like "I told you not to step on it! Why would you step on it? I told you you have to shoot it!" and the lava game and the red desert battle).

Iirc, two of his mockeries happen while he's standing over Jimmy's Minecraft corpse, sdklfj. This is not a man who is in mourning. I saw a post once that said 3rd Life Scott is like a widow who exaggerates her emotional displays so she can wear pretty mourning clothes and honestly. yeah. [Paraphrasing]

Found the post

He can be controlling and demanding (i.e. not letting Jimmy make his own decisions about their cows and very publicly arguing / belittling him / interrupting him when Jimmy comes home, all while several other people watch... Sir. Sir, I want to pick you up and shake you.)

It is not for no reason this man's nickname is Gatekeep. And he wears it proudly. aaah.

And the thing is!!! Character Scott lives in a world where he can just say stuff to Jimmy and Jimmy's not going to do anything about it. Yeah, he'll steal Jimmy's goats. He'll ignore Jimmy's goat horn call for a laugh. He'll capitalize on Jimmy's ranch dreams and try to crush him out of existence, laughing at him for having no goats (because he stole the goats). He apologizes to Tango for not replying to the goat horn, but not to Jimmy. He has no shame in playing the bit. That is his friend and he's going to torment him. lol.

He straight-up gaslights (Hilariously, without lying) when he's accused of killing Jimmy's goats. His word choice is so careful when he says things like "I will say, the entire time I could have seen [Cleo and Martyn], they were standing outside the ranch" and not admitting he dug underground and smuggled the goats out.

Character Scott is so fey-coded to me... He is trying to play. He's like a puppy that hasn't learned to control bite strength because he just keeps biting Jimmy and Jimmy doesn't get upset, so Scott is just playing in his POV but. mm. the outside looking in (me) is just. mm.

I can't stop writing 'fics where Scott is oblivious to how harsh he is. In his mind, it's play and he doesn't realize how far it's going- he just keeps escalating. I could talk forever about how Scott's version of 3rd Life heaven was living with Jimmy, but everything was prettier, and Jimmy came up to greet him because he missed him. Scott........ Scott, I just wanna talk.......

And then he seems puzzled when Jimmy doesn't flock to him. I feel like the Limited Life scene is a well-known one in the community: Scott says "I love you" to Jimmy and tries to get Jimmy to "say it back."

Jimmy chooses not to, standing his ground and seemingly implies that he will not express kindness to Scott in exchange for reward (Life), even though Scott's teasing and trying to coax him to because "uwu, don't you love your adorable husband? You would never hurt me."

smh... Character Scott, did you forget that in Limited Life, you've given Jimmy no reason to fawn over you? Why would he say he loves you? You can't just walk up to him and expect that, you silly man.

Shepscapades drew a gorgeous comic about this exact thing. The oblivious, smiling look Scott gives with his tilted head is just. my everything

Like!!! Scott, I don't know how to tell you this, but your actions have consequences and Jimmy isn't coming back. Scott is a satellite who revolves around him, feeling positive feelings towards Jimmy and expecting that Jimmy returns them..... ah.

In my mind he revolves around Pearl in a similar way (Ex: throwing her out without giving her a chance to explain herself when she came back in Double Life- I'm not judging whether it was the right or wrong choice because live your dreams, block dude, but... he really just made his own decisions about how that roleplay was gonna go down, disregarding their past nice times. One false step and Pearl hit the chopping block with no prior communication <3)

And he will just not let go of them. He is my clingy allay hybrid and I think he's fun. Augh. They are so toxic in my mind /positive; boy, that guy sure has multiple facets and a three-dimensional characterization

It's one of the reasons he vibes so well with Cleo... It's a relationship built on gaslighting and gatekeeping. They do not take each other too seriously. And he's considerably less snippy with her, especially in Double Life where he plays the role of fawning over her, and just. man.

Allay hybrid who finds someone to circle, but also can't let go of anyone. He will swap around with no ill intent or sadness, interchanging, picking up where he left off... (To me)

Anyway, this is why in Dog's Life, Jimmy cut ties with all his romantic relationships and is spending time by himself- He's quietly working through all the things Scott and others have said to him while he's vulnerable in a relationship, but he'd never tell him or anyone else this unless he had to. He puts those feelings aside so he can do co-worker things... but he needs time alone.

Even in his POVs, he doesn't explain that to the reader. It's not the reader's business. He's taking time for himself and he's not going to talk about it. He will not demonize his friends... He struggles to even say anything negative about his friends. He doesn't want to look like he's upset even on accident.

There's an upcoming scene where Scott's very overwhelmed and has basically come crashing down, practically begging Jimmy to explain why he dumped him (in this 'fic universe). Jimmy caves and explains a little about why he didn't feel they work, but doesn't go into detail. Even with the simplified explanation, Scott is just... mind-boggled and offended. He was just playing!!

Scott. You NEED to grow as a person. Aaaaaaaah. I want them to have their arc where Jimmy has handled everything as quietly, privately, and gracefully as he could and meanwhile Scott is unraveling everything he knows about himself and starting to look at himself from outside eyes.

All this to say... I liked that moment in Scott's Real Life POV. Jimmy hesitating. Scott being like "Well, last time you excused/forgave all my behavior.

Jimmy digging in his heels... "You are not forgiven."

Scott, walking off... "Thank you for forgiving me!!!"

Aaaugh. I'm gonna be sick about them. It's such a cycle of Jimmy pulling away and Scott oblivious... It is so important to me... and yes I did spend like 2 hours on this post just thinking about this 3-second exchange in the April Fools episode and now it is so late at night... do u understand, though? Them <3

Closing Disclaimers - This is a personal observation about their characterizations because I draw on these moments a lot in my fanfics.

Please don't reblog this post out of anger- I am aware they are a popular ship and that my view is not a popular interpretation, but I like them this way. I like dropping the characters in situations where they need to face who they are. I get excited when I see crumbs connected to my interpretation show up in the canon and I wanted to talk about how something I saw fit my interpretation.

I have absolutely 0 problem with others liking this ship. Heck, I've read some awesome fics of them! I did my best to tag and warn appropriately (and not use their ship name so it won't be in tags). I don't normally talk about them, but I'll use the #flower exes tag in the future when it comes up.

Please don't leave mean comments in the replies, send Anon hate, etc. You don't have to agree, so just block and move on if you're uncomfortable. It's never my intention to bash- I just want to convey the joy I feel when I see a portrayal I like. Thanks! <3

[steveharrington]

can u elaborate abt s4 not feeling like st? i don't disagree but i'm curious what ur thoughts are. i also felt s3 really didn't feel like st, like it's such a tonal shift from the first two seasons (and it has a LOT of issues) but i kind of love it anyway so.

before i try to put it into words i have to issue a disclaimer so here we go: i’m not trying to suggest that stranger things was ever like an indie show or underground or had a small fanbase at all, i know that it’s been insanely popular ever since s1 like i fully acknowledge that. however. s4, to me, feels like it was written to maximize online buzz instead of prioritizing the story, more so than any other season, and it worked which makes the fanbase feel different.

the first three seasons were obviously insanely popular and they did have these big moments that became referenced to death. i mean s1 alone spurred the whole barb obsession, the pink dress blonde wig el halloween costumes, the recreations of joyce’s light wall, the eggo jokes, plus people just went crazy like inviting david harbour to their weddings and shit. but that was all…natural. prettymuchit’s eric striffler talked about this in their stranger things commentary track so i’m ripping from him but he essentially said, in reference to s1, it’s insanely impressive how effortlessly the show managed to create iconic imagery that feels like it’s from an 80s movie in 2016. the duffers know that, so every season they ramp it up more and more to try to capitalize off that success. and sometimes i don’t mind it! i know people took issue with steve & dustin in s3, complained that their dynamic was being strung along just for memes or whatever, but to me their bond still felt genuine and authentic in that season so i personally was cool with it.

s4 just feels…rushed. which is insane because they had 3 years to work on it. purely speculating here, i think perhaps the duffers and netflix knew that it’d been forever and people were starting to forget stranger things, so all those rewrites and added content were kinda written with the idea of maximizing viewership in mind. that’s how we get ideas like: creating a fan favorite character whose imminent death is shoved down your throat so hard that the actual moment just rings hollow, shock killing and then un-killing max, bringing stancy back out of nowhere, starting and then dropping multiple storylines as the season progressed, giving el and hopper the exact same storylines they had in season two, having brenner take up insane amounts of screen time, etc etc etc. just…bad choices! and bad choices that you can tell were manufactured to either go viral (eddie and max) or start debate (stancy) while basically forfeiting the quality of the show in the process.

okay here’s where i’m gonna get bitchy. again i know the shows always been popular, and i like eddie, but eddie….took away a lot of the fun of the fanbase. and this is coming from someone who writes eddie fic!! i love him!! but i hate when any one specific character just completely monopolizes all content and conversation about a show, and among casual fans eddie completely 100% did this. you cannot see a single tweet about ST without thousands of replies all being like “is eddie coming back??? is eddie alive?????” and it just annoys me! i don’t like it! it makes the fan reaction and aftermath of this season just…different than the others and a lot less fun.

i think for me the different vibe all comes down to the fact that i didn’t like season 4. i was really disappointed after i finished it and honestly very sad i remember texting em being like “i don’t want to admit i’m disappointed because then that makes it real” but it’s been 5 months now and i can fully say: i was disappointed. it wasn’t what i was expecting, it wasn’t what i wanted, it was just not the quality of the show i know and love! which again is all subjective! and there’s a lot of good moments from it, but s4 just doesn’t hold a candle to the other 3 and it’s somehow impossibly made me …. not excited for s5. which i didn’t think was something that could happen!!

[xstarkillerx]

A Bit of Ahsoka, Luke, Starkiller Meta-commentary

By the way this is one of my favourite little comics ever, I will be relogging it multiple times whenever the urge hits me, because there’s so many thought rabbit holes it leads me down. Like holy shit, what a dynamic these three have, it's GUT WRENCHING.

Sam Witwer, Starkiller himself, on multiple occasions has spoken about the nature of Sith, why they are the way they are, and how the dark side shifts your outlook on life in very concrete ways. “Turning to the dark side” is not this vague loss of morality, it’s a state of emotional and spiritual stasis wherein one does not grow, does not love, and does not find peace. All sith can do is accumulate wealth and power, which is why they try so hard not to die. Jedi are able to relinquish themselves to the force because their lack of attachment to life and their disbelief in the illusion of strength, allows them to detach themselves from their "crude matter" so to speak. Now, I say that, because Ahsoka and Luke (even in the brief time he knew his father), were able to experience Anakin Skywalker, a man capable of love, sacrifice, care, affection. The only times we’ve ever seen hints of Anakin post-knightfall, was when he was confronted by Ahsoka, Obi-wan, and Luke; each one bares a connection to Anakin Skywalker, and are therefore able to bring to the surface the memory of a period in his life when he could love. Starkiller, as someone found by Vader, not Anakin, never stood a fucking chance. Vader, fundamentally could not change for Starkiller, because this kid has zero ties to the affections of Anakin Skywalker. At best, Starkiller was a hollow reminder of everything he lost, his children, his padawan, Padme, who very well would have given birth to a powerful brown-haired child just like him (luke ended up blond but whatever). He treated Starkiller like shit, this kid grew up under constant threat of death, torture, in pursuit of a promise Vader never planned to go through with, and yet in his DEATH, Vader refused to let him go because he was entirely attached to this surrogate son he could never love. He revived him again and again and again, he cloned him in search of the “perfect son,” and Starkiller could never be that. To make matters worse, the "perfect son" has existed all along, somewhere safe in the galaxy protected by Ben Kenobi and the Lars family and Starkiller was never going to be a part of that narrative; Ahsoka and Luke couldn’t begin to understand what he went through, which by the way is the real poetic irony of him being relegated to SW legends post-disney.

Sam Witwer talks about Starkiller and why he works better in legends because he now functions like a Jedi tall tale. I like to imagine Starkiller existed and was simply forgotten anyway. He's a speck in the grand scheme of the skywalker saga but he suffered so much.

Anyway this comic is one of 2 reasons this blog was even created, the other is Indy

@darkmist111

[sawcondeez]

what are two of your favorite movies from the Saw Franchise?

what are three of your favorite traps ?

thank you!!

Fav Saw Movies!

my fav Saw movie will always be Saw (2004)! there’s just a charm to it, the grungy-ness, the fleshed out characters, the colour grading is unmatched, the premise of it is simple yet so interesting. I love a contained story! AND I LOVE ADAM !!! and most importantly you can tell through and through that it is a passion project for Leigh Whannell and James Wan. listening to the commentary and behind the scenes gives me so much joy. I love that Cary Elwes signed onto the project because he had so much faith in them and their work and I love just how much fun they had making it despite being on such a tight schedule and budget and it ended up making such an impact in the horror industry! I could go on but I’m gonna stop there lol

my second favourite would have to be either Saw III or Saw VI. for Saw III, I love that it’s kind of like a character study/character building I guess? I love having more of an insight to Amanda, I think she’s such an interesting and complex character, the whole father-daughter dynamic between her and John as well, I find very compelling. the themes about forgiveness, revenge, family, grief as well wheeeew. It’s Leigh’s last Saw film as a writer and even though they keep the franchise going after III, I think he ties everything up very well as his last entry in the franchise.

Saw VI ouuuuuu I really like how it’s a commentary on the American health system, I think it’s done pretty well. the traps allegorically worked better than I think a lot of the other traps in the franchise do. William Easton was also an interesting focus as the main test subject, and I liked watching him going through the various traps and having the whole inner battle about morality and mortality. I also love the scene when Hoffman gets put in the Reverse Bear Trap!!

Fav Saw Traps!

I think it’s harder for me to pick my favourite traps though. like I love the Reverse Bear Trap because it’s so iconic, the concept is not too complex yet it’s so horrifying and ingenious, but I don’t like the aspect of having to kill a defenceless person in order to “win”(many such cases tho). and it irks me in the tape when John says “it’s in the stomach of your DEAD cell mate…. know that I’m not lying” BUT HE IS LYING ‼️

visually I really liked the Angel Trap, it’s just so gnarly yet beautiful. something about the Venus Fly Trap visually I liked a lot too.

The Ice Block Trap in Saw IV, I feel, needed more screen time/care. I feel like the concept of it could’ve made for a very captivating watch - I think someone mentioned it paralleled Saw (2004) in the way that there was the real Jigsaw in the room (Hoffman) which the other victims were unaware of, there was the victim who was acting like a perpetrator (Art Blank) but was actually doing so as part of his own test. and the pathetic whimpering blonde guy (hehe). could’ve also used more of Donnie Wahlberg’s acting skills, I think he’s great!

*edit: omg I forgot about shotgun carousel, thought I wrote about it when talking about Saw VI but I guess not oops. the allegory of the dogpit having to deny 2/3 of all applicants thus sentencing them to death, and William Easton having to do the same with the dogpit. he’s forced to use his algorithm on his own team, the symbolism about the blood on his hands, wheeew.

anyway thank you for asking!! excuse the rambling but it was nice to get this out

:D

[actual-bill-potts]

For the Director's Cut game! I'd love to hear your commentary about the latest chapter of And All His Towers Cast Down, especially the questioning scene in Tol-in-Gaurhoth. That was brilliantly terrifying and this part in particular just lives rent-free in my head: “Finrod can feel the moment when Sauron realizes what he has done [...] he feels his face re-form, his bones knitting together - no - no, please - ‘I will un-make and re-make you, as many times as it takes’ “

thank you so much! and many apologies for my late response to these, afjdklsafd ive been sick and am now catching up on work and yes, Finrod and co ARE sitting in a corner staring at me as I determinedly ignore all my WIPs lmao but anyway. ok. going to talk about the entire chapter. under a cut as it's going to be a bit long lol.

So, chapter 13 was not initially planned at all. In fact (and you may be horrified to hear this), pretty much the entire first half of this fic has been mostly unplanned, because when I started working on towers I did not intend to include Finrod as more than a side character! You can kind of see it in this post which was what towers came out of - I wanted to write a story about Lúthien and Maglor, partly because they are a fascinating character combo and partly because I was really interested in the political implications of such a team-up for both the Noldor and the Sindar.

Like, with Finrod alive, Lúthien (presumably) feeling very positively towards at least one son of Fëanor, and Morgoth having been dealt a crushing blow by the combined might of the Noldor and the Sindar, does Thingol back down? Do Celegorm and Curufin? Would Lúthien and Beren feel the need to retire from the world if they had met more people who wholeheartedly supported their love, rather than being attacked at every turn? And (because this is a theme I remain fascinated by in the Silm) does any of it make any difference at all? After all, the Noldor are at war not just with Morgoth but also with the rest of the Valar, so how would being under the Doom play out during a Nirn that included the support of all the Elven kingdoms? These were the questions that I was really excited about answering when I started this fic.

When I began to write it, I was going to have the rescue play out in a chapter or two, max, and then have Finrod and maybe even Maedhros join the Silmaril squad. It was going to be so epic - but as I was writing, characters started to push back on what I was saying, lol. For instance, it took some convincing for the pragmatic Maedhros to want to even try to find out what happened to Finrod (never mind rescuing him!). No way, no how was he going to go to Angband. And after watching ten of Finrod's closest friends die for him, Beren would knock Finrod over the head with a chair and run away before he'd let Finrod follow him on any more of the quest. So that was right out.

And then the more I thought about the rescue, the more fascinated I became by Tol-in-Gaurhoth in general; it really represents a turning point in Leithian for a lot of characters. Lúthien and Huan come into their power and start taking control of the narrative; Finrod dies; Beren loses most of his agency (I find it fascinating that pre-Tol-in-Gaurhoth, Beren drives most of the plot - he becomes an outlaw, he makes it into Doriath, he decides to go on the Silmaril Quest, he goes to Nargothrond, etc - and afterwards he turns into something of a McGuffin for Lúthien, which is to say that most of what he does is either run away from Lúthien or follow her around); and Sauron and Morgoth go from having the upper hand to being caught by surprise over and over again. The difficulty in writing an AU about a key moment in the story - Finrod's death - being interrupted by new characters and events is that you still have to deal with the ramifications of that key moment, and now there are more people around, lol.

So anyway, after spending a lot of time thinking about this, I ended up wanting to tell two main stories with towers. The first is the story I originally meant to tell, that of Maglor and Lúthien wrecking Morgoth: but with the added twist that Maglor, particularly after watching how haunted Maedhros was in Tol-in-Gaurhoth, is motivated at least as much by guilt as he is by a desire to stick it to Morgoth and fulfill the Oath. He feels guilty that he didn't rescue Maedhros, and he feels guilty that he is going to Angband now and not then, and the sight of Finrod immediately post-Sauron's-hospitality is bringing a lot of painful memories back for him, so he is...not thinking very clearly. He is going to have to face a lot of that in Angband, both facing the stark reality of where Maedhros was for (REDACTED amount of time), and eventually accepting how fucking insane it was that Fingon's rescue actually worked.

The second story I want to tell is that of Finrod's reckoning with his own trauma and his own failure. Somebody else sent an ask about Finrod's character in this, so I won't go too much into all that here, but to summarize: Tol-in-Gaurhoth in many ways represents the failure and destruction of nearly everything Finrod worked on and valued in Middle-earth. Characters in the Silm tend to deal with failure by. well. murdering people. but our boi is pretty unique. How would he deal with being so thoroughly hurt in a universe in which he survives?

Both of these stories are about to actually kick off in the next few chapters (ahhh, chapter 14...where the original iteration of this story started...), but as I was working on chapter 14 onwards, I felt that towers as a whole needed a little space to breathe between the conclusion of what is essentially the World's Longest Prologue and the start of the "meat" of the story. Hence Maglor's conversation with Maedhros, which sets out the main (internal) conflicts their characters will be facing. For Maglor, it is:

Maglor drew a deep breath. "I only - the truth is that I should have done this - this quest - when you were captured. Thou art as precious as a Silmaril to me," he added, slipping into Quenya in the privacy of their chambers, "and I wish that I had had the courage to do as Lúthien did. That I am going now, and not then: it damns me. Did I care so little for our father's jewels - did I care so little for thy life - that I was content to sit behind walls until the daughter of Thingol reached out her hand and did what we could not?"

Maglor is intensely driven by guilt and a sense of competition with Lúthien, which will drive him to do. some Things.

For Maedhros, it is this:

Maglor laid his head on Maedhros' shoulder carefully. Maedhros felt his tears wetting his tunic; but he did not mind. "It is all right, Makalaurë," he said. "It is all well. Do thy great deed; and in fulfilling the Oath perhaps we will find a way to unmesh ourselves from Doom. I would like that," he added, very quietly, "for our younger brothers."

Maedhros, hearing about C&C's actions in Nargothrond, and watching Maglor be so torn apart by the Oath, is fully realizing here the impact the Oath is having on his brothers. A large part of his arc will revolve around dealing with the political and personal disaster that is Nargothrond; and he is counting on Maglor and Lúthien, maybe more than he himself realizes, to repeat Fingon's great deed.

And then we get to the Tol-in-Gaurhoth flashback! Finrod's arc in the coming chapters will be all about recovery and coming to terms with what happened to him - so it ought to be clear in the reader's mind what actually did happen to him. I tried to use my understanding of the characters of Sauron and Morgoth, as well as the canonical events of Tol-in-Gaurhoth, to work out what the experience most likely entailed (apart from the obvious, uh. getting eaten by wolves thing). We know that post-Silmaril-burning, Morgoth is incapable of assuming a fair form. From this we can extrapolate that likely those who serve him have something of a grudge against beautiful things - and Finrod is canonically very beautiful. So I think he would be a very tempting target for Sauron to smash into a pulp, alas.

Also, as several authors here on tumblr have pointed out, it's somewhat ludicrous that Sauron looked at the incredibly powerful golden-haired Elvenking in the company of a mortal and didn't recognize Finrod - unless Finrod managed to keep up some sort of enchantment that prevented Sauron from recognizing him. There's a lot of different ways this could go, but I essentially interpreted it as Finrod keeping up a spell of misdirection - Sauron knows there's something about him, it's on the tip of his tongue, but Finrod is preventing him from fully realizing their importance. So Sauron is essentially playing with his food here - I'm of the opinion that if Sauron knew what to look for with regards to Nargothrond, Finrod would stand no chance. Finrod certainly thinks so, anyway, and so he's using everything he can to keep Sauron from looking at him as anything more than a plaything. Unfortunately Finrod is a) very pretty and b) very much beloved, which gives Sauron lots of room for entertainment.

Unfortunately, and I do hate to admit this, the "unmaking and remaking" thing was almost a complete accident - I was almost done with the scene, and then I thought, "wait! I never mentioned facial injuries! fuck!" so. sauron got to be extra creepy to cover up for my lack of planning. xD