#so instead they gave us both :) idk why some people seem to have such a huge problem with that

[spacedlexi]

people who think clem surviving makes no sense are so funny. "they were literally foreshadowing her death the entire season" let me introduce you to the concept of a red herring. she tells lilly she isnt lee and shes right. the narrative was forcing her down that path, a path she saw as an inevitable fate waiting to take her too, but its a narrative broken by aj, who is also his own person and not S1 clem

"it happened to lee, and itll happen to you" lilly tells clem she'll die protecting aj from some mistake he makes, when in reality his defiance of her will is what saves her life after she had already accepted her fate. he breaks clem free from the lee cycle and they get their relatively happy ending. good for them

[mikachacha]

𝙾𝚗𝚎 𝚘𝚏 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝙶𝚒𝚛𝚕𝚜 (𝙸𝚗𝚜𝚝𝚛𝚞𝚌𝚝𝚘𝚛! 𝙱𝚊𝚍𝚊 𝙻𝚎𝚎 𝚡 𝚂𝚝𝚞𝚍𝚎𝚗𝚝! 𝚁𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚎𝚛)

Synopsis: Bada has a reputation for sleeping with her students that she likes. So when she asked you to stay back after class, you knew what that meant and you wouldn't say no to her offer.

Warnings: smut, totally nsfw, riding, choking, a bit of hair pulling. MDNI. R18+ only

(A/N: so this is from a req from my good friend @jhopes-whoopee-cushion who's unfortunately on leave or idk if they've got another account but yeah, this request is from last year 😅)

╔═*.·:·.✧ ✦ ✧.·:·.*═╗

One of the Girls

╚═*.·:·.✧ ✦ ✧.·:·.*═╝

✨💛✨💛✨💛✨💛✨💛✨💛✨💛✨💛✨💛✨💛✨💛

"I heard she slept with Nika a week ago.."

"Really? I also heard she slept with Hana.."

Hushed whispers from students gossiping inside the studio greeted you as you entered. It's your first day being in this class and you're already hearing wild gossips about the instructor. Now, you haven't personally met your instructor, Bada Lee but if the rumors are true, she might be really good looking or good at what she does basing from the things you're hearing.

"I'd gladly have her ruin me.. She's so hot!" you heard a girl squeal out and some laughed. Since you didn't know anyone, you mostly kept to yourself until the instructor walked in. You looked at her, she's tall, she exudes both masculine and feminine energy at the same time that seems to drive most people wild. Well you could definitely see why so many people are going crazy over her. She's absolutely gorgeous and that gorgeous being just looked at you, gave you a smile and even winked at you. You could pass away happy right there and then if you were being honest.

"Good morning everyone! I see that everyone's here, especially our Y/N, the latest addition to our little group here. Why don't you stand up, Y/N and show us some moves?" Bada's voice rang through the spacious studio and you got up from where you were seated, bowing to everyone and saying thanks to the others who wished you luck.

Of course you didn't come unprepared so you asked Bada for a bit of help so you can connect your phone to the speakers to which she gladly helped. She's also curious about you. You looked quite confident as you stood there in front of everyone, ready to perform. To say that Bada was only mildly impressed is a huge lie. As soon as you began dancing Water, she knew she wanted you. She would stop at nothing to get a taste of you even just for a night. The way you moved hypnotized her, just watching you dance made a fire inside her burn.

After you were finished, the room erupted with cheers and applause and you were glad, smiling and thanking them. When Bada personally praised you, you couldn't help yourself but blush though you knew that you'll just end up like one of her girls. The others could also sense it and they kind of felt bad for you considering you're just a newbie and Bada has already set her eyes on you. On the other hand, they're also a bit jealous since they've been trying hard to get Bada's attention for so long but a newbie took her attention instead.

It went on for weeks, Bada blatantly flirting with you when she's not teaching. Of course, she still needs to keep it a bit professional but she just couldn't resist you. She thought you were easy but she didn't expect you to give her a run for her money when you played this little cat and mouse game with her. You'd lead her on and shoot her down, you'd give her hope that she might get a taste of you but then tell her you're just playing. If she's gonna make you like one of the girls she slept with, might as well play with her was your mindset the whole time. Of course you wouldn't deny the one and only Bada Lee if she wants to get a taste but only if you want.

"You're quite good at keeping me coming, Y/N.. So alluring, and so playful.." Bada whispers as it was only you and her left at the studio. Everyone has left already after the class considering that it's Friday and a very nice night to go and have a drink with friends. You would've done the same but you had other plans.

You turned to Bada, a sly smirk on your lips as you played with her hair. You're shorter than her though some would comment that you got her so wrapped around your finger and that you're the boss now. You wanted to test out that theory tonight.

"Oh? But I was barely doing anything.." you looked up at her, feigning innocence but both of you know that you're far from being one.

"You know my reputation, don't you? I'm curious as to why you're playing this game with me, Y/N.." Bada had pinned you against the wall, her lips just hovering above yours and waiting for you to tell her to stop and say that you're just messing with her but you didn't. You had a mischievous glint in your eyes and even initiated a kiss with her that stunned her a bit.

It was slow, sweet yet it also mixed the lust and desire that you have for each other. Today, you have decided to finally give in and be one of Bada's girls even just for a night. You don't care if she pursues someone else right after. You just want to have a taste and the feel of Bada fucking you like how she fucked those other girls before you.

"I'm completely aware and Bada, I could hardly give a shit if I'm just a game to you. Someone you could toy with until you get what you want and discard right after. I don't give a fuck about all those things. What I care about right now is you, fucking me and making me one of your girls.." your bold statement shocked Bada but she'd be a fool to deny you. You're literally telling her that you want her the same way she wants you.

"Yeah? You want to be fucked, Y/N? So pretty yet so filthy.." Bada chuckles and pulled on your hair, tilting your head back so she can have easier access to your neck. She placed kisses there before giving you a small nip which stung a bit but also turned you on so much. You couldn't wait to feel more.

It didn't take long for Bada to take you home. Both of you couldn't keep your hands to yourselves as the anticipation is becoming too much. You just wanted her to take you right there and then in the living room but Bada managed to usher you inside her bedroom, where the real fun started.

Her kisses felt like tiny bolts of electricity coursing through you while her long fingers pumped in and out of you, playing and preparing you for what's about to come. Her mouth trailed south, kissing and suckling on your breasts that got you gasping for air and arching your back for more. It was so good. It felt too good to stop and you could feel yourself getting closer and closer to your orgasm. Just as you were about to reach your peak, Bada stopped and pulled her fingers out, placing them in your mouth and letting you have a taste of your own juices.

When she was done lapping up each and every drop, she lets you recover and grab the strap on from her drawer. You looked at the size of it, it was fairly big and when Bada asked you to ride her, you could've sworn you got wetter. You climbed on Bada's lap, straddling her while she slowly guided you down to the strap on waiting below. It went in smoothly as Bada did add enough lube so you wouldn't hurt yourself and you appreciate the care she's put into this intimate moment.

"Look at you, pretty girl.. So good taking it all down like a champ.." Bada praises that got you blushing madly as you started to bounce up and down, riding her with the best that you can. It was pretty hard keeping your rhythm as the pleasure began to take over your senses as every time you came down, the tip would hit all the right places that makes you see stars and your knees to quiver.

"Fuck.. Bada.. Feels so good!" you moaned out as she held you by the waist and began to control your speed. And the way she would thrust her hips to meet yours just made your moans louder and more pleasure build up until you couldn't hold in your orgasm much longer. You came while Bada continued to fuck into you, prolonging your pleasure.

"That's right, baby.. Moan for me.. You're so pretty when you moan my name as you cum. Makes me want to do it more and more.." Bada says as she lightly choked you while you continued to bounce up and down. You couldn't form a coherent thought or could even remember when Bada has flipped you on to your hands and knees and began fucking you from behind. Every thrust made you see stars, your knees are weak from all the sensation you're feeling but Bada's holding you by the waist. The position made her go even deeper and reach places that you never knew felt good and Bada's making sure to let you know that only she touched those areas and basically ruining you for other men and women alike.

"Bada! Bada.. Fuck.. I'm gonna cum!" you moaned out, your knuckles going white from how hard you were gripping the sheets beneath you and Bada only responded by pulling on your hair, forcing you to rise until your back was against her chest. She placed kisses along your neck and even placed some bites along the way. You could hardly care especially when your third orgasm rolled it. It was the third and strongest one of all three that it knocked the air out of your lungs and you could swear that you passed out for a few seconds from how good that was.

Bada lets you calm down and regain your breath before she pulls out and sets you down gently. She leaned against the headboard of her bed, playing with herself as she watches how fucked you currently looked. It was a proud moment for her seeing you looking to dazed, seeing those marks she made on you and how your legs quivered from all the orgasm she gave you.

Seeing that she was playing with herself, you crawled between her legs and began to help her reach her own orgasm. You suckled on her breasts while your thumb fiddled with her clit. You matched the pace of her fingers and soon, Bada was reaching her own climax. She flashes you a smile before pulling you in for a sweet kiss, a complete opposite of her kisses from earlier.

"You're so great, Y/N.. I hope this isn't just a one time thing for us." Bada says as you were snuggled against each other. You turned to her, kissing her cheek.

"From how many times you've made me cum, I sure hope this isn't a one time thing. You fucked my brains out and I would love to experience that again.." You said and Bada could only chuckle, nodding her head. You may be one of her girls now but you sure are her favorite among them.

[petarabbit2]

Realistic Trey Clover + Headcanons

Trey Clover + Realistic artwork done with Art Breeder and edited in Clip Art Studio:

This happens a lot with my headcanons but after analysing Trey he went from one of my least favourites to one of my favourites in no time – hope you like him as much as I do!

Sidenote: When headcanoning Trey and all my other characters I take both factual and some of my personal thoughts/beliefs of the character to construct my headcanons.

For my rendition of Trey Clover, I kept him relatively close to his in-game design and didn't give him any visible flaws (ance, moles, etc.) since Trey’s diet seems pretty balanced, he knows eating too many sweets can give you cavities. It would also help with his skin’s condition, it wouldn't be smooth or perfect but wouldn't have many visible red breakouts, but isn't immune to a few pimples here and there.

You may also notice I gave him stubble on his chin because Trey in game looks very mature, plus it is extremely common for his age period to start developing body hair (face, body, etc.) and Trey probably got this.

For his realistic rendition, I went with a rectangular face shape that is fairly chiselled (Trey is on that mewing streak 🤫🧏‍♀️), almond eyes with THICK eyebrows and the cherry on top being his very broad and straight nose. In conclusion, I made him a chad. (tee hee yummy)

For his body MY MAN IS BUILT, so a rectangular fairly muscular build (thick fucking arms bro is kneeding that bread) 

And yet another pom 😞 but it's all done for a reason! The rose kingdom is based on the UK so I just gave everyone from there an accent and depending on personal thoughts depends on how strong I make it and yes, Trey has a strong accent – he doesn't really use slang though, idk he's a bit too mature for that.

Without & With Makeup:

Personality and backstory headcanons + a bit of character analysis:

Ah yes, the “dad” of Heartslabyul and I don't disagree with this basic statement but sometimes he is dumbed down to just that, a “dad”. Yes, young adults such as himself can have a stronger connection to his morals, but he’s still only 18, and most importantly human. Not everything he will do will be correct, and even if they are good in theory, they may still have negative consequences.

For example, just before Riddles overblot, Ace even blatantly asked him why he hasn't corrected Riddle behaviour because he thought that just staying by his side, comforting him and being his friend was enough but quickly learnt it wasn't. Trey has always been the oldest, with his friends, with his siblings and he had always had that sense of responsibility over the younger generations (also seen with first and second years in-game), however, other than that, his character isn’t heavily touched on besides just being the “dad” or “big brother”.

Trey probably has moments where he questions himself, if he's the best person for others to rely on. What I'm trying to say is that neither his mind nor body is fully developed and even people like him who seem so strong have their weak moments.

Trey genuinely cares a lot for his loved ones, both friends and family, and usually takes on a mediator role to solve issues and help others. Though, he’s a little bit of a people pleaser and when something is out of his depth and he doesn’t immediately see the ‘right’ way to do something, he tends to try and avoid the root cause of the issue and instead finds an easier solution, which may not have the best turnout in the end. 

For example, Trey’s feelings around Riddle’s overblot and childhood trauma affecting his present-day behaviour. I believe that Trey felt horrible after Riddles overblot, seen when he said he's sorry to Riddle despite being Riddles own fault. When Trey can’t fulfil that “dad” role or sees he's been doing something wrong for a long time he doesn't know what to do.

He doesn’t do this out of a lack of care, but because of how much he cares instead. He is also often seen pandering to other’s wants just to please them and make sure they are happy. Also as mentioned before, he is still young, he still may not know the best thing to do, but these actions he takes he sees as a sort of in-the-moment solution.

Trey appreciates deep conversation and knows what to say in them, he's good at comforting and will observe all the people he cares about so he knows exactly how to comfort that specific person.

Trey is always looking out for his friends, whether that be making sure they are keeping up with the school's work and getting decent grades, or making sure they aren't getting into too much rough housing with others. If this does happen however, Trey would definitely go out of his way to tutor lower classmen to the best of his ability or have a ‘talk’ if he has to with people picking on his friends.

My editor/assistant cause I can’t grammar or spell to save my life: @cyb3rpnnk 

SIDENOTE: DO NOT REPOST MY REALISTIC RENDITION OF DEUCE OR ANY OTHER CHARACTER I DO AS YOUR OWN. EVEN THOUGH THE BASE WAS MADE WITH AI IT IS STILL MY CREATION!

However you are permitted to use my headcanoing as your own for art or stories or whatever, just not my realistic rendition.

I dont have much to say this time, but the next one with either be Riddle or Cater idk.

[fabuloustrash05]

rank the canon love interests for each turtle, gO (i can't remember if you have already lol)

*cracks knuckles* It’s time for a lightening round of ship ranking!

Disclaimer: I’m rating these girls based on their romantic relationships with the Turtle that crushed on them/had a relationship with. This is NOT a ranking of their individual characters.

Leonardo

Unnamed Women/Yumi’s Mother (Mirage)

2/10

She was just a figment of Leo’s imagination so does she even count?

They have a daughter together which is nice, but also HOW DID THAT WORK??

Raven Shadowheart (Mirage)

7/10

Seems like a good ship

F in the chat for Leo, even when he has a GOOD relationship it can’t last long.

Lotus Blossom (1987)

10/10

The overall BEST Leo love interest.

The fact she gave him a flower to remember her by <3

Lotus deserves to make a comeback!

Can’t believe Nickelodeon chose INCEST over her!!

Karai (2012)

-1000000000000000000000000/10

WHY DID THEY HAVE LEO PULL A LUKE SKYWALKER?!

Koya (IDW)

2/10

I can definitely see the appeal and aesthetically they look good together but the CONTEXT of their relationship is BAD.

LEO IS THE REASON SHE IS DISABLED!!

Lita confirms they get together in the future, but WHY?? They have no romantic chemistry or hints that they like each other romantically. Maybe SHOW us instead of TELLING us!!

Toxic 95% of the time

April (Mutant Mayhem)

7/10

I usually heavily dislike April x Turtle ships, but I can’t deny that they were cute.

Leo’s moment of falling for her was actually kinda cute and funny.

His crush on her is not shoved down our throats like OTHER April x Turtle ships *cough* 2012 Apritello *cough*

I like that they went  to prom together <3

But again, I don’t think April should be shipped with any of the Turtles and I don’t see this ship lasting in the long term…

Seems like it’s a one sided crush like Dipper and Wendy from Gravity Falls, so I’m not convinced this will last in the upcoming show/sequel

Raphael

Ninjara (Archie Comics)

2/10

They’re cute but it’s not a really interesting ship

It looks too much like a cheap OC x Canon pairing

Mezcaal (Archie Comics)

7/10

The first and only time one of our Turtles boys have been married, congrats Raph!

A badass married couple

I hope her and Raph are forever happy together running that bar

Mona Lisa (1987)

10/10

Iconic!

Her kissing Raph then calling him “doll” is so cute!

She IS the ideal Raphael love interest. Her and this ship truly left a major impact on the fandom.

She is the go to Raph love interest people think of in any iteration (2003, Rise & MM fans all wanted and made their own version of her in the show)

Joi (2003)

1/10

Meh…

Idk if she counts but I added her cause some people shipped them

She is Raph’s only human "love interest" and it doesn’t feel right to me. 

Out of all the Turtles, Raph being with a human feels weird, the other Turtles I’m fine with being with humans. Raph has always been known to date non human characters so this ship doesn’t look/sit right to me, and doesn’t feel like a relationship that would go anywhere.

Alopex (IDW)

2.5/10

I just don’t like it

I guess it’s because I was introduced to Alopex in the 2012 series where in that she’s a 30 year old woman and Raph is a teenager, so this relationship feels weird to me.

Kinda toxic at times tbh but still cute when they need to be (which is rare)

She’s 17 and Raph is 20… But that was apparently “retconned” so Idk what to think

Y’gythgba/Mona Lisa (2012)

10000000000000000000000000000000000/10

THE BEST LOVE INTEREST AND SHIP IN THE ENTIRE SHOW!!

The ONLY GOOD and HEALTHY relationship in the show!

“What a woman…” ICONIC!!

Raph was loyal and Mona was devoted to him!

He falls for her because she punched him in the face. That is both hilarious and very in character for Raph XD

She’s as much in love with him as he is with her!

Badass warrior power couple!

Short King x Girlboss

I LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE THEM SO MUCH!!

Donatello

Jhanna (2003)

3/10

Another “Meh” ship to me.

Similar to Joi, does she even count?? Apparently she does to some people and its a ship for 03 fans.

Fan versions of her and this ship from different interactions (1987 & Rise) are more interesting than the actual canon version of them in 03 tbh

I guess I’m just not convinced of this ship and I don’t like how they look together. It’s hard to explain.

April (2012)

4/10

Could’ve worked with a cute “friends to lovers” story but the writers ruined it.

Kinda cute in season 1, got worse after that. Season 5 was them at their best but that’s only because it wasn’t shoved down our throats by that point.

The love triangle brought out the worst in them (and Casey).

I like them better as best friends.

Hottake: Donnie was more of the problem than April.

Like I said in Leo’s ranking, April should NOT be a love interest for any of the Turtles.

Big Foot (2012)

-1/10

Why did this happen??

Batgirl (Batman Crossover Comic)

2/10

Got a thing for redheads, huh Don?

Not a huge fan of big crossover shipping like this, but his crush on her was cute so I’ll admit that. 

It was sweet she gave him a kiss on the cheek before leaving. So good for you Don!

Mona Lisa (IDW)

0/10

JUSTICE FOR RAPH X MONA LISA!!

Obviously not my cup of tea.

The Nerd x Nerd trope… wow, so original…

She’s a bitch to him at times and invalidates his trauma. 

I really thought her and Jennika were gonna be a thing (which I would’ve preferred more tbh), so her with Donnie as a massive disappointing surprise and feels so forced.

Michelangelo

Princess Seri (Mirage)

2/10

Tragic. She betrayed him. That bitch.

WHAT HAPPENED TO THEIR BABIES??

Also… MIKEY FUCKS??!

Kala (1987)

9/10

UNDERRATED SHIP!!

Two party loving teens who just wanna skate and have fun!

They keep pictures of each other as mementoes. THAT’S ADORABLE!!

Much like Leo x Lotus, we need this ship to make a comeback.

Buffy (1987)

0/10

FUCK THAT BITCH!! SHE TREATED HIM LIKE TRASH!!

Sara Hill (Image Comics)

4.5/10

I’m a sucker for the Turtles dating alien lizard woman.

I like the “friends with benefits” relationship they have. Feels like a Mikey thing he would do regarding his love life. 

I love how they bonded over their love of cartoons. Very cute.

She left him for another man though… WTF SARA?!?! YOU BROKE MIKEY’S AND MORE IMPORTANTLY MY HEART!!

Mitsu (TMNT III)

1/10

Bland and boring (Just like the movie!)

Princess Trib (IDW)

5/10

RESPECT TO MIKEY GETTING ALL THE PRINCESSES!! AND THE NEUTRINOS TOO??

Cute, but in the end I prefer him with Kala.

They are the only good Turtle ship (not counting Jennika and her girlfriend Sheena). But that ain’t saying much from me cause they’re still bland at times with little to go with.

How are they one of the better ships in IDW yet they are the most bland and uninteresting couple??

Renet (2012)

9/10

Very adorable!!

Works well romantically and platonically.

They’re both goofballs who are misunderstood by their peers.

Would be a 10 but Mikey was unfaithful...

Renet confirms they have some kind of future together.

I personally can’t see them staying together in the future, maybe having a friends with benefits relationship like him and Sara.

Shinigami (2012)

1/10

I like their dynamic, but not as a romantic one.

“Someone will die…” “OF FUN!” vibes.

Shini is obviously a lesbian and is dating Karai so…

Headcanon: They have playdates with their cats.

April (Bayverse)

0/10

WHAT DID I LITERALLY SAY IN LEO AND DONNIE’S RANKINGS??!!

The one Mikey crush that literally gives me the ick. I don’t like it.

C R I N G E

MIKEY SWEETIE SHE’S A FULL GROWN ADULT!! YOU ARE A CHILD!!

[voidcat]

a/n: scara/reader modern au drabble? idk man I should be STUDYING not thinking about hand feeding him baklava or making fun of him for failing to eat local foods

Perhaps mother was right, you shouldn’t have agreed to staying in the dorms and taken up her offer instead.

“Rooming with someone else will take some chores off my shoulders! And it’ll be closer to classes too.” That extra 20 minutes of sleep surely wasn’t worth dealing with him of all people.

From the corner of your eye you watch the most recent subject of your annoyances, humming something to himself in the kitchen, the sounds of cupboards, utensils and jars reaching you all the way to the living room.

Whatever he is cooking smells good, you admit with a bitter taste to yourself. Sure you made the idiotic choice of being a proud fool and refuse further help from her, wanting to handle things more on your own but at the very least, you could’ve asked around about him.

Then again, he did seem pretty alright. Decent speech and manners, appearing to care about order and hygiene, sounding respectful enough– it’s ironic how you fell for the ‘respectful and sensible young adult’ act when you know and experienced it first hand.

The melody of his humming switches to something else, much softer and serene now, it catches you off guard. You’d never take him to be one to enjoy such tunes, you wonder where this song is from.

The gentle hum coming to an abrupt halt and realizing he staring dead into your eyes, you realize only then you have been staring for a while.

Why did you not ask the twins, or that ginger gopnik about him before moving in? They seemed to know almost everyone in the campus somehow.

With a roll of your eyes, you redirect your focus to the book before you. You can only hope this will be your biggest and only regret for the year and every other decision you make for the remainder will go swift as the wind.

Laughter erupts from Kunikuzushi, filling the entire space as you stare at your bowl in horror, the jar still in your grip.

Agreeing to a lunch of his suggestion though on mutual agreement you both would prepare in your own ways, he was already being a bother making snide comments at everything you added and didn’t add, how you did it and so on…

“What is that thing?” He says with judgement in his voice, as you give the jar a shake. “Curry.”

“Darling, have you heard of curry blocks or using a spoon– or are you just this incompetent in the kitchen?” you can hear the amusement in his voice as he watches you open the lid, slightly tapping at the jar’s bottom as you watch the spice fall into the bowl.

“No thank you,” you begin with a singsong voice, “eyeballing is just fine–“ the words die in your throat as a huge load of curry fills the bowl.

And to your horror Kunikuzushi only stands there drinking in your expression, clutching at his stomach and not even bothering to stop his tears.

For the following weeks you’re not allowed to do anything in the kitchen unless he sees you use measure the ingredients you add, few more months pass and by then it’s all under the rug. Chances of him forgetting the curry incident is very low but he doesn’t tease you as much anymore, though he still mocks you for all your precious ‘that’s how we do it.’ claims, “so that’s why your cooking always gave me a stomach ache.” “Have you considered you just have weak intestines instead?”

For the earlier part of your living situation with Kunikuzushi, the two of you kept to yourselves.

One by one his attitude would show, only to be met with yours, to the point Ajax jokes about putting two goats in the same room only to earn glares from you both.

Where you had an order to yourself, he found it messy, moving around your things to make space for himself when the other half of the couch was perfectly empty.

Most of the things he did, you were aware it was to get on your nerves– what a sad life he must be living to tormenting you become his entertainment.

So you fight fire with fire, feign innocence with a twirl of your hair sometimes, sure there are times you can be messy but you had caught a glimpse into his room, he has no right judging how you live.

Somehow with time, it falls into a routine. What first begins as having extra tea or coffee left and neither of you being fond of wasting food, you make each other offers through gritted teeth.

Having your meals become joint is a mess in and on itself though, him clearly struggling with sumeru cuisine and how to eat some of the meals whereas you share a similar problem with inazuma’s, some of the food just not to your taste, too cold and all that.

when one is too occupied with studying or a project that seems to be draining the life force out of them, the other begins acts on instinct, beverages and food that'll help placed near them in no time. first it is nutrients offered, and next, company.

it becomes the norm at that point to have Kunikuzushi sit down next to you with a book, or just his phone in hand, occasionally stealing a glance at you, reprimanding you if he catches you procrastinating. "if you need to look something up that badly, tell me and i'll do it for you– until then, give me your phone."

every single time, you huff and groan, yet every single time this works.

and Kunikuzushi finds out why people offer hugs when they cannot do anything else as his thoughts eating away at him disperse when he feels your arms wrapped around his form.

you admit it too late to his liking, in the future, that you aren't fond of physical contact yourself, let alone initiating it on your own– but it has worked, and still works as wonderfully as the first time, though he no longer stands straight like a stick and instead melts back into your arms.

you learn over time that despite his attitude and personality, Kunikuzushi is quite nice. Behind the front he puts up, he is as gentle as that song he hummed once long ago.

"Fine! If you won't eat it yourself, i'll make you– just– open up!"

Kunikuzushi dodges your hand, and the little cube you seem to be holding, ignoring your frustrated sighs. "I said no, you daft, cat-obsessed freak. I am sick of you and your weird food–"

A corner of the dessert in your hands smears the corner of his mouth, much to his chargin, a victorious smile already blooming on your face when you notice him slowing down upon contact.

"One bite or I'll go out drinking with Ajax."

At the mention of the skyscrapper sized carrot, Kunikuzushi halts. You wouldn't dare, not with him, not when tonight is movie night.

"What?" you tilt your head, as if reading his mind, "think I'm bluffing? Dear, we have played that game countless times before, you should know I am serious right now."

Agreeing to your weird card games was another grave mistake on Kunikuzushi's part, or tagging along with you to game nights and get togethers with those fools you call friends and laugh around so much.

Though you did have a point, if there is one thing he gained, it is the ability to spot whether you are bluffing or not– seeing the shocked expressions on everyone else's face whenever the two of you referred to one another with poison laced terms of endearment was just the cherry on top.

It was the norm for the two of you at this point. To tease and annoy nonstop, knowing the other party has no malice behind their words, it was fun, trying to get the other to flush first, or hurry back to their room with a slam of their door.

Kunikuzushi began to wonder sometimes if you thought about him.

With a roll of his eyes, he lets out a sigh, eyes cast to the side, arms crossing in front of him. "Fine, you no-good of a roommate."

Waiting a second for more remarks to come, only for him to stay silent, you beam, leaning towards him again. Could you not move your hand with a force, you were getting sticky pieces of your weird dessert all over the couch!

"But–" he puts up a finger in front of your nose, stopping you, "one bite, as agreed." you nod at his words, "and I am choosing the movie for tonight."

At that, your nod comes to a stop, seeming to contemplate, you nod again, "Deal. Now open up." and bring the dessert to his lips.

A golden cube-like dessert, with some greens in the middle. From the looks, Kunikuzushi can tell this is one of those desserts with 'sherbet', mentally preparing himself for a toothache.

Staring at him with big eyes, your face is too close to his, he can feel the warmth of your breath getting mixed with the dessert's scent.

When he bites into it, he doesn't expect it to crunch. Your vacant hand immediately bolting up to hover under the dessert to catch any excess pieces of the layers from falling onto your legs.

Giving it a chew and letting its taste spread on his tongue, Kunikuzushi realizes the greens are pistachio and finds the sweetness of the sherbet not bothering him unlike those fried dough bits you made him try once.

Without a second thought, he leans in for a second bit, uncaring for your surprised yet amused laughter beginning to fill the room. Only when his lips make contact with something too soft and warm to be that cube you were holding, that he realizes he ate it in no time and almost bit your fingers.

When you shake your index at him "what happened to not biting the hand that feeds you, where have your manners gone to, Kuni?" he doesn't bother with a reply, knowing he brought this onto himself long ago.

[i-am-the-hero-alfred-jones]

OFMD Season 2 Finale Spoilers

That was THE MOST DISSATISFYING ENDING

Now granted, I'm usually dissatisfied with endings that wrap everything up in a neat little bow, because some stories just work better with an open-ended ending.

For example, one of my favorites will always be Labyrinth. Sarah goes back home, but the goblin king keeps his kingdom and power.

Let's talk about WHY I'm so disatisfied (and honestly, maybe that's the point, it sort of seems like they want the fandom to be like that in order to fix it later one, but idk) 1. Stede Fucking Bonnet STEDE DID NOT BECOME A PIRATE FOR ED

This ending is unsatisfying because why would Stede give this up?! Stede LOVES being a pirate, it's Ed who's disatisfied with that life. Stede CHOSE this life, Stede loves this life, for him to leave it for Ed is fucking ridiculous.

STEDE BONNET IS MORE THAN EDWARD'S BOYFRIEND HE'S HIS OWN GODDAMN CHARACTER AND HE'S THE MAIN CHARACTER FOR FUCK'S SAKE

His pirating is what attracted Edward to him in the first place! You can't take that away from him! It makes him a shell of what he is! Stede never wanted the good peaceful life- he had that. He hated it. Now he just has it with Edward. And sure, he loves Ed, but that's not gonna fix his disatisfaction.

-Now granted, this does seem intentional. It could very well be that this inn ending is intentionally there to show both Ed and Stede, that a part of them really does love the seafaring life, and that they want to return to it.

-You know, like a callback to when Stede returned to Mary and realized what he really wanted was Ed. Instead Stede and Ed are going to try the quiet life and realize what they always wanted was the sea. It was just that they wanted the sea with each other.

-If that's the route they take in Season 3 (or a similar one), I can totally get behind it, and I think it'll fix the Stede Bonnet Problem. [For the record, I think they handed Edward's arc CRAZY well]

2. Izzy Fucking Hands

-. . . Guys. . . One the one hand, the monologue he gave when he died NEEDED to be given.

-Izzy does things more with actions than words, and Ed needed to say how much Izzy meant to him, along with Izzy needing to say how much he loves this crew.

On the other hand- way to kill your guys. Way to immediately fall into old tropes and make us hate ya, Dave. Granted, in the past he has played with tropes intentionally, so this COULD be that (in which case he's sitting back and laughing maniacally like the BASTARD that he is-) Where he's making us believe Izzy is gone for good only to bring him back. [I HAVE HOPE DAMN IT]

-There seems to be this idea that Izzy was the last remaining bit of Blackbeard, but Izzy is his own person and he got to grow into his own person during this season.

Of course, now that he has no thematic relevance, to kill him off is fucking pathetic. NOW we kill him, he's of no use to us. Why keep the disabeled gay? We don't need him anymore. THAT is the vibe that we've been given. Now that he's grown, we're done with him. (as if anyone truly stops growing at any point-)

-Buuut, on the one leg that Izzy has remaining,

-This could be a really good way to tie into Edward's story that he is and always has been Blackbeard. That Blackbeard was never Izzy's creation, but rather a part of himself. And he gets to choose what to do with it.

BUT EVEN IF THAT HAPPENS IZZY JUST DIED FOR EDWARD (Sure, what the character always wanted- but not what he deserved)

-If Izzy comes back from the gravy basket (Maybe with Buttons? lmfao-) with a newfound sense of independence and growth (maybe he learns to love again, idk.), this could be beautiful. A beautiful way to fuck with tropes and to show other shows how people SHOULD be handled. Bury your gays, then bring them back fuckers.

If he doesn't, this fandom will never be the same. Nor will it ever forgive it's writers. We deserve better, man.

[moody4world]

Ur Best Friend

A/N?:Was listening to this song and this idea came to mind. something short and angsty. seems like y’all only fuck with me when i write something 💀 but i hope someone likes this as much as i do. Listen to the song while you read or before idk

I MISS URBAN FICS CAN WE GET BACK ON THAT WAVE PLEASE?!? somebody send me urb fic recommendations or something PLEAAASE

jack x reader/ reader x urban (just read it you’ll understand)

Another house party to celebrate your amazing boyfriend. All his friends and acquaintances were cheering with their glass of champagne raised to the ceiling as he gave his speech. Everyone’s attention was on him. Everyone’s except the two people he found most important at this celebration. Mine and his best friend’s. Urban’s eyes were on me while I couldn’t take mine off of him either.

It’s been like this for months already and guilt has been eating me alive every single day.

I know i’m in the wrong, we both do but for some reason it’s hard to stop. I hate that he’s not the one i’m with but Jack treats me like royalty and treats Urban like family, which is exactly why it feels so wrong to do what we’re doing.

He ends his speech and everyone cheers, snapping Urban and I out of our daze.

Jack’s hand was on my lower back as he leaned down to my ear “You good baby?” All I could do was nod and smile at him as convincing as I could.

The whole vibe of our relationship has been different than when we started. I know Jack felt it too but I also know he’s been putting in effort to fix things again. Did I want things to go back to how they were?

We ain't felt like us in a minute

Whole damn time I knew I shouldn't have did it

Might've got too excited, I'll admit it

Almost called your name when he was in it

Heavy breathing filled our room as Jack fell next to me after we both reached our climax. He knocked out almost right away but all I could think of is how I almost slipped up just a few minutes ago. His name was at the tip of my tongue. No, not Jack’s, Urban’s name. Thankfully I caught myself but I don’t know how much longer I could keep up this façade.

He ain't have the courage to step up and pull up (Skrrt)

Six speed, like (Skrrt, skrrt)

Puttin' so much work (Work)

Just to make it worth (Worth)

And he's almost perfect (Hmm)

And that's why it hurts (Ooh, ooh, ooh)

And he calls me family, that's what make it worse (Worse)

It's wrong but I make you feel right (I make you feel right)

You textin' my phone while right beside him

Wish it was anyone besides him

-Urb’s pov-

Weekly dates. That’s what Jack has been doing and movie nights whenever he had the chance to reignite the fire they once had. I knew because she would text me and tell me about it instead of watching the movie he picked out for them. When they were going to sleep she would text me goodnight and so on. Whenever he left for the studio I would drive by to come check on y/n. We wouldn’t do anything physical besides some light touching and hand holding but emotionally we were definitely crossing all the lines. I just couldn’t help myself knowing she felt so much more connected and happy in my company. I know we’re in the wrong. That’s my brother from another mother.

You was with your man last night

And you just realized what you felt that night wasn't wrong

Thought about me on your whole car ride, like

I hate that you ain't your best friend

I hate that you ain't your best friend

-How it all started-

“Alright alright we’re gonna be late if we don’t hurry up come on” Urban rushed.

“Hold on y/n is almost done.” Just as Jack was saying that I walked down the stairs. We were headed to some type of private Louisville award show. Jack was busy networking and left Urban and I to keep each other company while we were there and our conversations went really well. Maybe too well because after the award show Urban went club hopping with the rest of the guys but Jack and I went home yet all I could think about was Urban and how confused I felt with my emotions. I couldn’t possibly be crushing on my boyfriend’s best friend.

He made me feel like this in one night when it took me a month and more to feel this way with Jack.

Ever since that night I hated parting ways with Urban when the time to leave came. Seems like things are better when forbidden but I hate that he’s not his best friend.

The end

please lmk your thoughts on this, id appreciate it!

[thepixelelf]

Ooh ok how about a meet ugly (idk if that’s an official term?? but like where they have a meet cute except it goes wrong in a funny way) with hmm bongjae or jibeom, up to you <3 go wild with the meet ugly prompt, whatever you want!

this ended up just being a normal world au but I hope you enjoy it!!

[head, meet wall] "Listen man." Jangjun put both his hands on Jaehyun's shoulders and nodded his head toward you, where you were leaning against the same gymnasium wall he and Jaehyun were standing by. "You think they're cute, don't you?"

"Well, sure, but--" Jaehyun had no idea who you were. You seemed to have come to support someone on the basketball team, but he didn't know who. "I can't just go up to them."

Jangjun frowned. "Why not? That's literally how people meet."

"Maybe to you, Mr ENFP! Some of us are normal."

"Have you ever heard of a meet cute?" Jangjun suddenly asked, oddly serious.

Jaehyun shrugged. "Sure, but don't those only happen on TV?"

"Yup. And right now."

In a matter of seconds, Jangjun spun Jaehyun around and shoved his hands into his back, propelling him with such force that he practically launched into you.

Which, theoretically, could have been cute.

Could have, if he'd braced his hand on the wall before he bonked his forehead directly into yours.

Could have, if that didn't result in the back of your head hitting the wall.

Could have, if he wasn't now standing awkwardly next to you in the locker room, explaining why he attempted to murder you in the first place while you hold a bag of ice to the growing welt on your head.

"Sorry." You put a hand up to pause his muttered explanation. "You hit me in the head so hard I think I saw the afterlife because... you thought I was cute?"

He still thinks you're cute, but Jaehyun decides now isn't the best time to say that. Instead, he focuses on the floor and scratches the back of his neck. "Yeah..."

"Wow." You let out a long sigh, and Jaehyun wishes the floor could just open up and swallow him whole. Then you say, "Give me your phone."

He lifts his head. "Huh?"

"It's only fair, right?" You smile, and oh gosh, maybe Jangjun doesn't deserve to get beaten up for this. You have a really nice smile. "Since you gave me something, I should give you something."

"I don't... get it."

You hold out your hand, palm up, and gesture for his smartphone. "You gave me a concussion, so I'll give you my number. Fair trade."

A laugh escapes him. Is this seriously going... well? "I don't think that's a fair trade at all." But he gives you his phone anyway.

"Alright then." You smirk as you type in your information. "How about you owe me a date, too?"

[is-the-snake-video-cute]

Have you seen bullet train? Any thoughts on the boomslang? I know it’s supposed to be a comedy but since I’ve been reading this blog for a while I totally cringed lol.

I know you’ve talked about antivenins not being fun no matter what, but if you were to get an antivenin and then be exposed to more venom soon after, would it be able to help or are you totally screwed?

Also how much venom does it take to make it a not fun time for a person? I suppose using boomslangs specifically in this case. Like a drop is bad or you need a vial?

And how much venom does a single snake produce and how often? When you’ve got something like a whole party of people, I assume you’d have to prick every single person there but that seems like a butt ton of venom… is it shelf stable at all?

And I’m like 99% sure based on what I’ve read on this blog that venom doesn’t act as quickly as it did in the movie, but how fast does boomslang venom act in real life? Does it really make blood pour out of your eyes or was that just Hollywood?

This whole movie gave me so many questions but especially about snake venom. Sorry for the essay of questions but it seems like absolutely nothing that they put in the movie about snakes seemed correct, except for the injecting it part? (though they do imply that she fed it to the wedding party so idk about even that lololol)

Also are there any snakes or reptiles that you know of that are both poisonous and venomous?

Thanks for taking the time to read this! Feel free to ignore, sorry again for the essay lololol. Thanks for having such a great blog that really got me to think more critically about snakes in the media, as well as just giving awesome info about reptiles, not to mention being so open with answering questions! Okay sorry I’m done for reals this time

I haven't seen it, but I can still help with your questions!

Antivenin gives you temporary immunity to snake venom. Like, you will feel like garbage, but if you're bitten again, you're good. You'll be functionally immune until the antibodies pass through your system.

The amount of venom that equals a bad time varies wildly from snake to snake. Boomslangs are actually kinda unique among rear-fanged venomous snakes in that it doesn't take a lot of venom to make you feel awful. They'll have to chew on you a bit, still, but even a relatively small envenomation won't feel great.

The amount of venom a snake has depends on their size, but generally it's about a teaspoon or less. Venom does tend to break down pretty quickly, that's why for use in antivenin productions, they have to do some fancy stuff to it (I dunno what, I'm not a toxicologist) before sending it off. It stays stable longer if it's kept frozen.

Boomslang venom is very slow-acting. Even with a significant envenomation, you'll be waiting at least 12 hours before it becomes an emergency. It actually does make blood come out of your eyes (and other mucus membranes), though - but it's not very dramatic, and I'd use "dribble" instead of "pour" to describe it.

And yes, there are a few snakes that are both poisonous and venomous! The big ones are the keelbacks (genus Rhabdophis).

[itz-wanderer]

HI

I think ur my fave now so I'm gonna keep requesting <3

I just want Majima with a crush that can't refuse when people offer her things so eat or drink because she finds it rude if she were to, so she just forces herself to eat or drink the thing and almost throws up in the process 😭

I can just imagine

Majima: I poured ya some Sake.

Y/N: Oh my God thank you. *Hates alcohol but takes the cup and downs it in an instant, visibly disgusted and almost throwing up* It's so good ... Thank you.

Why is this hilarious

Hello! I'm so sorry this takes forever 😭 I'm just confused on how to write this and Idk if you're gonna like this one or no but I hope you do 💜 Thanks for requesting and waiting!

Hope you enjoy!

Majima with s/o who can’t refuse offers

- It’s not uncommon when people around you say you’re selfless, always considering others feelings first rather than your own. It’s because refusing offer isn’t one of your specialties. You often find it rude to refuse someone’s offer, or you just feel guilty everytime you refuse their offer. So you start to act and force yourself to drink or eat anything that’s given to you even though you know that it might make you throw up.

- In contrast to Majima’s blunt personality though, he never has problems with telling what’s on his mind. He’s quite confused as to why you struggle with refusing offers, “you shoulda tell ‘em if you don’t want it!” but he never really forced you to do something you were uncomfortable with.

- Then the day comes, when you both go on a date in Kamurocho, you two basically went to every shop that was within sight, With him, time sure went by quick and the sky started getting dark. That’s when you thought that it was time to end the date but instead he invited you in to have a drink with him at his place.

- You quietly stood behind him as Majima was opening the lock to his door. You were nervous cause you had never been inside a guy’s room ever before and from the usual daily soaps you watched, you wondered if Majima’s house too would be unclean like the bachelor boys in those shows.

- To your surprise it wasn't, his house smelt of nothing! You were shocked to see how clean it was with no dishes in the sink, all clothes neatly folded and stacked aside on his bed. It seemed like he might have been running late for the date when he woke up and left it right there.

- “Oh sorry if it's a bit dirty, I forgot to put those back in my wardrobe but yea come have a seat in the living room, i’ll get us the glasses and some drinks”, he said as he walked you into his living room.You sat on the couch and made sure to clear up the table in front as he brought in the drinks with both his hands filled. “Thanks Y/n chan!” he exclaimed as he put the drinks down and poured out a glass for the both of you.

- “Ahhh that hits the spot!!!” he shrieked, finishing his glass in one sip while you struggled to even hold the expensive glass with your clumsy hands. One small sip and you knew it was not for you. But seeing Majima happily chug down his second drink while you still were hanging off the cliff of “Should I drink it or should I tell Majima san I don't drink”.

- “Everything alright Y/N?” he said, which startled you to drink it all in one go making you cough. He watched you in a puzzled face as you asked for a second drink. “Oii you sure you want another? You don't look so good only after having just one”.But nah they sure say that love truly makes a person blind and you dived head first in with that thought.

- Few drinks and your body started revolting and you knew this could end badly. You tried getting up,but your knees gave away from the drowsiness and the next second you threw up all you had drunk on his perfectly clean floor. Majima worriedly got a hold of you and carried you to the restroom while his suit got dirtier making you feel disgusted and thinking he would ghost you after this night is over.

- Majima held your head up and patted your back until everything was out of you. “Baka, why'd you go ahead and drink that much? You could have just said that you can't handle alcohol and we could have done something else… You sure are one hell of a mess Y/N… but… still mine..” he lectured you while your head now rested on his chest.

- “You need to be a bit more firm with your words or anybody would take advantage of your innocence Y/n.”, you almost teared up at his words but managed to hold them in. “I thought you’d be mad cause I messed up so bad and never wanna see my face. “That ain’t true at all. Now why would I be mad at the love of my life?” he said as he picked you back up and walked you over to the couch.

- He holds your face with both his hands and comes closer “You don't need to accept whatever I tell you to do so.. You are your own person with things that you like and love. So make sure you always stand up for yourself and never be afraid to say a firm ‘No’ when you don't want to do something that goes against your morals Y/n chan” he whispers before landing a light kiss on your lips and sitting back down calling in the maid to clean up.

[drbtinglecannon]

NEW OFFICIAL TRAILER FOR "FOR THE FUTURE"

(I haven't watched the leaked episode, if you did, please do not post any spoilers. You will be blocked if you do.)

King!!! King is back!!! Unfortunately it comes at the cost of him obviously being the Collector's servant basically. At least he still has François.

King also reads a book about the Collector, similar to how the end of S1 he read a book about Belos. It's an easy way to add lore to the show, and it calls back to another time he did so

Not only do we get curly redhead Lilith, but she has a pixie cut now too!!! Her glasses are gone tho :(

All of the Coven Heads (but Terra?) got turned to puppets ;___; as have most other citizens including Hooty, Principal Bump & the other Hexside teachers, and some of the other student body like the grudgby players

Also Eda does not seem to have a prosthetic like most people predicted, which makes me wonder what happened to Alador

ALSO ALSO SHORT HAIR EDA 💖

Mattholomule grew the worst facial hair lol (I am certain the 😑 expressions everyone made in that last promo image was at Mattholomule). Skara is there too!!!! And Barkus (maybe we'll get a gustholomule moment)

Eda can still lose control of the Owl Beast in Harpy mode -- and I can't blame her considering the circumstances. Her eyes turn fully black in that inky drop motion like back in s1

I wonder if her short hair affects the look

Huntlow moment 💚💛

Dana was right, sparkly is a good word to describe this episode.

I'm not sure how I feel by the idea that almost all adults got captured, it does feel specifically like The Collector (a child like God) did it on purpose, but it still is kinda :/ to know most of my fav supporting cast are puppets now to conveniently write them all out of the episode so as to keep the cast from bloating. Like I get why it was done but I'm still salty about it

The Coven Heads (again except maybe Terra?? Idk why she wasn't there? Did she pledge loyalty well enough to not need to be puppetfied? Did she escape? Die? Lol could you imagine) all have slight whimsical features added to their designs, as with everyone who got puppetfied, but for once they're all moving & working in tandem haha. Raine's close up not only killed me, but gave a good callback to when they got captured by Kikimora then "brainwashed" for weeks afterwards. The parallels of Raine pretending to be an enemy vs now they are but completely against their will. Bah. I'm dying, I'm afraid to see Eda's face in that scene. ;__; I'm really unhappy to have any Raeda fluff or bonding during this special (or suggested to have happened in between KT & FTF) robbed from us, but angst is classic Raeda vibes so I'm not surprised

I did also notice we didn't see any hints of Amity, Gus, or Willow's families at all. All we know is Eda & Lilith seem to have escaped puppetfication. I have a feeling Hooty took the puppetfication blast for Lilith in that moment

I'm stoked about Lilith having red hair again, and I was not expecting her & Eda to both cut their hair short! Everyone's getting hair style changes!

This will definitely be a Collector lore heavy episode, if only for the fact King was reading that book about them. I wonder if there used to be more children of the stars, and where the others went/are if there were

And lastly I'm at the photo cap but Belos is there too. He is using glyphs to burrow into some area, and he's killing the wildlife as he goes. Y'know, classic Belos behavior. I wonder if he's trying to get to where Caleb's mangled remains are, and if so what the plan is from there. I doubt Belos will play a large part in this episode as it seems very heavily focused on The Collector instead, which I'm fine with as I figured the final confrontation with Belos was gonna be the last special, what with him being the main villain of the show.

Despite any hangups I have I'm very excited to see the special! I know Dana & the crew worked hard on it

[ithinkhesgaybutwesavedmufasa]

I hope this isn’t crossing a line to ask but I was reading about your sub adventures and idk maybe I’m being close minded but how exactly did you and your wife get to that point? Like she’s truly not jealous or anything? Like is that relationship going to be strictly sex or are you both open to more? Idk that whole world to me is just so foreign and I’d love to know what it’s like.

Not crossing a line at all.

This got long as fuck so putting a read more.

So, here's the thing. You have to have a rock solid relationship with your "primary," aka the partner who was there first and will continue to be first and foremost. Neither of us finds jealousy attractive, and it just isn't something that has ever played a part in our relationship because...we talk? I know that seems over simplified, but it's true. I never have to guess where I stand or what she is thinking because if I don't know, I'll ask, and vice versa.

Trust plays a HUGE role. There can't be any secrets. Period. Full stop. I literally tell Kat everything. She knows who I'm talking to because I tell her. I WANT to tell her. She's the love of my life. I could easily toss her my phone and tell her to look up something, and if she so desired, she could read every single message I've ever sent to the men I meet. She doesn't need to because she trusts me, but the option is there.

We've had people tell us, "Oh, I could never do that because I would be too jealous." And to me, that is a red flag? Jealousy implies lack of trust, and yeah, if you're gonna be jealous, then you can't do this. Plain and simple. We run into this issue a LOOOOOOT on Fet with hetero couples. Their core relationship is struggling, so instead of getting uncomfortable and digging to the root of the problem, they open their marriage, thinking that will fix everything..IN WHAT WORLD DOES THAT MAKE SENSE. idk don't ask me, man. But that has been the most consistent and frustrating part about all of this. I wind up playing marriage counselor because they will say to me what they feel they can't say to each other, and I'm like, how is this my job? I just want to be fucked/choked a little. Im not your therapist. And finding a Unicorn won't fix your marriage, Deborah/Kyle. That can't possibly fall to me. 😅

As far as that person's role in our lives, they have to bring something to the table. They have to benefit us in some way. What men on Fet seem to not understand is that if we wanted to just fuck someone, we could. But we are looking for a bit more than that. We're not saying we are looking for a husband or someone to move in, but we don't really do one night stands, especially with me looking for a full time Dom, there has to be trust and a connection.

Example: one of the most consistent men we've been talking to is very up front with the fact that he just wants to be FWB, however, he knows we are PEOPLE and he is adamant about making sure that the 'FRIENDS' is kept in the fwb equation. He will sext me and get downright filthy, but there are also times when he sends me pictures of his kid at baseball practice or his trip to the botanical gardens and always asks about my day. (He literally stopped talking about eating me out to show me the pumpkins he was growing on his family farm yesterday. 🤣 he is the definition of golden retriever)

We have always been open to the idea of polyamory and view love as it's not a piece of a pie that people take chunks out of, and then it's gone and all used up. Instead, love is always about addition, and if we were to find a third, it's just MORE LOVE. Love is not a finite resource.

I once had a guy on Fet ask me, "If you love your wife so much, then why are you looking for a third? What's missing in your relationship?" And I told him that first off, that's rude as hell, but I gave him an answer. What's missing? Nothing. Literally nothing. We could pack this shit up tomorrow and close our Fetlife accounts, and be 100% happy the way we are. It's not about something missing, it's about the fact that the two of us have more to GIVE.

At the end of the day, we look at this situation with the knowledge that we are so fucking incredibly lucky. Because no matter what happens, we have each other. Our relationship with our third could go down in flames, and yet, I'll still have the love of my life standing beside me, sleeping next to me, navigating the world. And when you have a fail safe like that, it's really easy to put yourself out there and be brutally honest. I'm able to tell the people I meet on Fet, 'Hey, this is me. Here are my flaws, here are my desires, you cool or not?' It is so efficient 😅 I'm too old to play games and know what love is and should feel like, we're a package deal and if they can't hang, then thank you for playing but next contestant.

I hope that helps a bit? The bottom line is that it's not easy because if it were, then everyone would do it.

[bourbon-ontherocks]

this is the depressing ask. beware. 😂 

first I want to thank the writers for so helpful reminding us of 305 with the line about naked suspects. clearly, morgane wasn’t there to witness adam’s frightful interrogation because she’d have eviscerated him then and there (that’s what I like to think, at least). 

bref. the ending. are we really doing this? I feel like this conversation’s been had a thousand times before yet the show doesn’t seem to have heard any of it. or doesn’t care. (I’ll let you list off the reasons why it’s an awful twist, if you feel up to it, because I’m frankly too tired for that) 

I hate the way they showed a sonogram as if to hammer home she’s carrying a child, not a fetus, when it's the other way round. I hate the mamma mia montage, as if figuring out whose genes are involved is the priority. I hate the 306 retcon, get this shit away from me, both their drinks were spiked. I hate that we’re supposed to believe none of these grown adults (the ones who weren’t drugged, at least) considered protection. especially morgane--she’s had DREAMS about this, ffs, there’s no way that wouldn’t cross her mind. I hate the ramifications of every single way this could go down (too long to expound but you get me). I hate that there’s even a shred of doubt about how this will go down. I hate that they served us some watered-down so-called feminist juice for a whole season and still decided to use morgane’s body as an open ground for drama. 

given the way they’ve addressed the question in the ep, I’m very pessimistic about s4. Idk about you but my only solace is knowing it’s out of our hands, anyway, so I don’t have to waste my energy trying to change anybody’s mind. 

thanks for sticking along on this ride. wouldn't have had it any other way. and good luck for the year ahead of us, everybody. the only way out is through! 🤞

Nodding along at everything you said because yeah, and also while I liked Adam's line about naked suspects, your point about Morgane finding out about it just gave me a fantastic idea to add to my WIP, so thank you for that!

Now for the ending.

I think there are two main points to distinguish here because obviously, my personal distaste for pregnancy and baby storylines makes the idea of Morgane bearing a fourth child everything I don't want to see. BUT, had the circumstances been wildly different, I could have come to terms with it and accepted it, as in "Yeah I don't like this turn of events but I can get over it because it makes sense narratively and serves an interesting purpose". What actually makes this finale awful are the circumstances of this pregnancy, and now we're getting to the essay-ish part of this post where I'll try to explain

Why HPI finale is lazy, infuriating, and profoundly anti-feminist

Just like you point out, this mamma mia scenario was already explored in… well… mamma mia, plus countless other stories, zero originality here, I expected better from HPI tbh. And I read just yesterday an interview with the producer saying "Season 4 be like, we're looking for a baby daddy instead of a murderer lolilol", yea guess what, I DON'T CARE. For a while after watching the episode, I dared to hope that the montage in the end was purposefully misleading, that soon Morgane would come to her senses and remember that she did use protection with at least Timothée and David, because I 100% agree with you, it's ridiculous to make us believe that none of these people ever had a thought about contraception. Timothée even said "We're not trying yet", which means he kinda knows how not to try, no? And also I can accept the idea that Morgane isn't on any kind of birth control because it happens (some women react badly to pills and IUDs, etc), but she was with Ludo for half a season so they must have used condoms, she has to know and think about it (and like you said, she's DREAMED of it, and explicitly said that SHE DIDN'T WANT A FOURTH KID - I'll get to that later because it makes me fume). Besides, she's had three kids already, she knows how this all works. So yeah, it's lazy and implausible.

What I find particularly infuriating in this 3-baby-daddies plotline is also the deeply misogynistic trope of seeing a female character unable to enjoy an unapologetic sex life with multiple partners without getting punished by the script with an unwanted pregnancy. This is the literal definition of slut-shaming by the way. I was going to say that I didn't see where you found feminist vibes in the show, but then I remembered how much I loved the way Morgane expresses her feminity, her desire, and her sexuality, and…. yea, this is exactly the point I'm trying to make (also I loved seeing childfree, 40+ characters who were thriving but that's another discussion I guess). Seeing that we're still there in 2023 legitimately makes me sick.

Speaking of misogynistic tropes… I guess the ONE detail that really makes me want to throw spears at the writers is the sixteen weeks' mention. By purposefully making her too far in her pregnancy for abortion, they robbed her of having a choice. I mean, they could have got her two months pregnant, and then for some bad (imo) reasons she'd have decided to keep the baby, it would have made no difference for what's coming next. I wouldn't have loved it, sure, but it would have been fine by me because at least it'd have been her decision. Here she's just subjected to the plot, and like you said, her body is used as a narrative tool, and it feels like a slap in the face. Not to mention that even here they fucked up the timeline, because she fucked Timothée, David, and Adam in the span of like 4 days, right? Literally the day after the LSD adventures she and Adam decide to wait for three months, and the montage insists on how on the schedule they are. And I'd say that 307-308 happen within a week maximum because Redbone's not one to wait three weeks for his money lol. So 3 months is 12, 13 weeks at most, which means that in the end, Morgane is 14 weeks pregnant AT BEST (which makes her still eligible for abortion, mhhhh, see where I'm going with this? 🤔), and not 16. The only valid explanation would be that it's Timothée's baby and that she was already pregnant when she had her other encounters, but since the show seems to go in another direction, then it means that they purposefully fucked up the numbers so that she CANNOT consider abortion, which is the most dehumanizing, disempowering thing you can do to a female character.

They're literally forcing a pregnancy on her, and I want to throw up every time I think about it.

Speaking of which. Morgnane's already had three kids. Also, she told us in season 2 about her first-trimester symptoms. And she's supposed to be smart, hell that's the WHOLE point of the show. So there's no way she wouldn't have noticed that she was pregnant again, unless she denied her pregnancy (which would explain her total absence of symptoms, incredulity at the hospital, and possibly the fact that her brain erased her sexytimes with Adam). Now pregnancy denial is one of my greatest fears in life, so I can hear that this was particularly triggering for me specifically, but still, this is an incredibly traumatic experience to throw at her, and a source of huge emotional distress. SHE STATED SHE DIDN'T WANT A FOURTH KID FOR FUCK'S SAFE AND YOU ARE FORCING HER TO GET ONE WHEN SHE'S AT HER LOWEST, AND YOU'RE EXPECTING US TO FIND THIS FUNNY??????? I mean just go sell potatoes and stop writing shows because this is an insult to the art of writing.

😠🔪😭

Sorry I need a minute to have a good cry and yell at the abyss.

.

Okay, I'll just close the 16-week essay by saying that I entirely blame Audrey Fleurot for this, and this is what I base my theory on:

I mean, cool bro if it worked for you (except it didn't, do you want to talk again about your post-partum? Is that what you're planning for Morgane?) and I get that acting can be a therapy in some way, but this is getting way too close to the target, just get the fuck out of the writing room if that's what you're going to come up with, PLEASE.

I'm not sure where you see a 306 retcon though, for me it's pretty clear they were both under the influence, had sex, and blacked out about it (which as @earanie and @hemerae-ramblings pointed out, is highly unrealistic since memory losses are NOT a side-effect of LSD, but I can hear the argument of denial here). But speaking of 306, the finale completely doomed this episode for me, because in retrospect it feels like a giant set-up. The LSD scene is ONLY here to make it possible for Adam to have unprotected sex (side point here, I'm actually not mad they hooked up, even though it's kind of frustrating to see it happen this way, because I find the "offscreen banging reveal" a hilarious yet underused trope, and also I like the messiness), and while this last point is in a way funny, the worst part is the three months window at the end, which has in fact NOTHING to do with Adam sorting his feelings or whatever but is only here to forbid the possibility of abortion for Morgane, and this makes me want to stab people multiple times.

Also, one last thing that I find absolutely disgusting is the fact that Morgane and Adam (presumably) conceived a baby against their will (there's a whole other discussion to have about consent here but I won't go there for today) while solving a case about a BABY BORN FROM RAPE. I mean, can you make it more icky than that? Do the writers even acknowledge the irony of this? Do they even care? This baby is doomed by the narrative from the fertilization stage, and we're supposed to enjoy it as a comedy?

And now I assume we'll get to watch a forced coming together between Adam and Morgane due to the circumstances, which means that even if they end up together we'll never know if they actually wanted it? What a way to kill a ship, man, I've seen shows pretty efficient at ship-sinking but this has to be in the top three.

(somehow there's a wild irony in the fact that both the showrunners and the main cast have been saying on repeat from season 1 that they didn't want to make that disappointing season that ruins most shows, and yet they managed to spectacularly fuck-up and promise the worst season ever, and they're already paying for it audience-wise...)

See, all of this is the silver lining I'm holding onto for now, in the hope of a miscarriage (which would also be incredibly traumatic for Morgane, and still an objectified-by-the-plot scenario, but at this point our options are limited. Also for now the showrunners are only mentioning the pregnancy but not the baby so maybe there's a tiny chance she actually doesn't have it), because there's no way anyone could rejoice from this. And if she does have this baby, and if it's Adam's, then I'll officially change their shipname from Brosse Adam to Brosse & Rachel, and this will probably be my last contribution to this fandom. Hated this in Friends, will hate it in HPI.

I'm not pessimistic about season 4, anon, I just don't want to consider it at all. Obviously, I'm ready to withdraw everything I said here if they choose the only acceptable outcome (abortion) and actually make an extremely powerful narrative and political statement about it, but I know it's off the table. Having to endure such a plotline in 2023, at a time when women's right to dispose of their own bodies is threatened everywhere in the world, is a very painful punch in the face, and I sincerely hope they'll get a ton of backlash on social media for this. I just saw this morning that the airing of 308 had the lowest audience numbers ever in the show's history, and I can't say that it makes me unhappy.

(I was lowkey hoping for a cancellation at this point, even though I know the chances weren't great, but I found out today that the show was officially renewed so we won't even get the solace of knowing they can't do any further damage... Eh 🤷‍♀️)

Finally, the thing that saddens me the most isn't even what they did to Morgane and to the show, it's what they did to our community as a result. I have been alone in this fandom for almost a year, and it was incredibly frustrating. And then people joined, created content, interacted, had fun, and we had such an amazing time together, writing, giffing, vidding, sharing theories, jokes, and thoughts. I've met some incredible, witty people, some of them I dare to call friends. And now it feels like everything is falling apart. Friends are leaving, or considering to. Group chats have turned into support groups. The writers didn't only ruin the show, they took away the enjoyment we gathered from it, and it sickens me. Personally, I've had a very rough first semester of 2023, and this community is what has kept me afloat. It's made me smile and laugh in times of sadness, it's given me a shiny, quirky escape that I'll never be grateful enough for. And to witness it all collapsing really hurts. I do hope it's just a bump in the road, that we'll come back eventually, sticking together and collectively despising canon, ignoring it by ferociously writing AUs, and roasting the timeline, and making Daphné-centered vids, but I'm not even sure myself where I stand regarding my own involvement in this fandom. Nothing else to say, I just miss what we had, that's all 😢

Now that I'm thinking about it, "J'avais tellement envie que ça marche entre nous" is exactly how I feel about canon right now. You know when I said that getting into a new hyperfixation felt like falling in love? Well, this shitty ending feels like getting ugly dumped.

Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk, anon, and thank you for sticking with me too. It's too early to say if this is officially the end of Julia's adventures with the HPI anon or not, but please know that I've loved every second of the ride and that I will never forget it 🥲

😘🥃👻

[ohsocheesiness]

Played both Cyberpunk 2077 Phantom Liberty Endings

Both are super good in my opinion for V, Reed, and So Mi. Needed somewhere to post my thoughts.

My Natural Instinct

I did not trust So Mi at all, bro. Even from the beginning.. the thing with the chimera was suspect. Disappearing like that after I saved myers... idk bro. However, I do empathize with her circumstances. She's stuck somewhere where she's being abused. She's dying and she just wants to be free.

Don't trust Myers, but seemed the type to keep her end of the deal.

I didn't necessarily trust Reed either, but I believed in him. A man of principle who stuck by his team and country even if they did him dirty. I felt like So Mi only fake cared about me, but I felt like Reed truly did care about me and my life. He saw V as another of his comrads to protect. However, I knew it was his government that he'd unfortunately follow till his wheels deteriorated.

Following Reed

I believed that Reed 100% wanted to help So Mi escape. I told So Mi I only kind of trusted her and that I think Reed wants what's best for her.

Gameplay wise I think it's cool that following the FIA turned into a freaking horror survival game lmfao. I love the secret agent style shit in PL

Anyway, only in this ending do we learn that ROGUE AI are basically attacking her and using her as a fucking link to the physical world through the real net. She mentioned she felt like somebody was over her shoulder her whole time. It was THEM. I wonder what Alt would've had to say about it if I asked her tbh.

In the end though, there was a great moment with So Mi who was at her end. I had a save point and played out both instances if I killed her or if I let Reed take her. I don't really remember what my first instinct was to do... but after knowing both endings it would've been best just to kill her and give her freedom man. However, saving her gives us a bit more to Reed's character.

Reed is freaking depressed bro lmfao. He is the one keeping so mi in chains. He is the one locked in chains. He knows he's just a dog, enslaved to ideals he doesn't think truly matters, but it's all he has. The only thing he can do is lean into it, despite knowing it's flaws. "All that matters is that So Mi is still living." I think that's why Reed never comes suicide despite seeming so empty, he's strong enough to carry everything.. it's his duty even.

Ofc I accepted the offer to save my life, it made sense to me that they could really help and that Reed would do right by me.

FUCKING HURT ME that Johnny had to get destroyed so abruptly like that. I know he didn't want it. He accepted it though, his true death. Just Rogue and V being his last remnants of life in NC.

If you tell Reed thanks, he says something like "there's nothing to thank me for, V" and leaves, head hung down. Another life Reed took and ruined. Got So Mi on life support, enslaved by Myers, Alex killed, V some kind of wonky life so different than before. Coma for 2 years.

Also my Panam romance 💔💔💔💔 damnit! Panam is definitely the type to fucking be done with it cause she thinks I broke her heart but dang. Wish somebody would've went through my contacts and gave them the heads up 😐 but I LOVE what happened to Judy after this. She deserved the peace man. She's such a cool homie if you guys are platonic.

Following So Mi

I tried to play a lot more empathetic with So Mi and her circumstances, instead of just it being mutually beneficial. V was the only one who can understand what was happening to her.

& Since I played this second, I felt guilty asking her to use the black wall to hack shit and kill people while we were escaping from Hansen's spot. It's lowkey best to play this ending as a netrunner. You help So Mi a lot more directly.

So Mi is really just like V, kind of. She just wants to live, so she'll betray and lie to her friends and simply just have to feel bad about it afterwards. For the most part, V won't sell out to a corp, but So Mi kind of sold out her friends. Her character flaw I guess.

This is also the only ending where a diologue option will tell you MR BLUE EYES is the one who contacted her for NUSA info and hooked her up with a deal to get to the moon! This is the only time i remember hearing about him before you do the Sun ending. He definitely a major player in the next game and there's something he's trying to do involving space. Which is why i assume he sends V on a mission to the crystal palace.

Anyway, So Mi eventually reveals that she was lying to me the whole time. She knew it was only a one use kind of deal.... prick. But I told her I would've helped her anyway if she just told me.. which maybe I would've tbh.

I carried her to the rocket thing. Reed was waiting for you. You two are at odds now and he means business. He lowkey tries to butter you up about protecting So Mi, but call him on his bullshit. Then he switches up, he wants to take care in to answer for her crimes. I said I didn't want to have to shoot him. He said "neither do i" 🥹 but yea I popped his ass after he gave me no choice. In a certain regard I was happy he found peace. Killing reed is the best thing to do in this ending 100%

You hook So Mi in the rocket to the moon and talk with Johnny as you two watch her go into space. Real.

Wait long enough you get a mysterious message to go find a package. The package has evidence that So Mi is alive on the moon. Very cool! She lives in this ending. And she's free. I was actually super happy about that tbh.

Also with this ending, Alex lives. PL tried to give you a relationship with her... in the ending where she dies I was sad about it but got over it. In this ending where she lives you get another chance to chat with her. She calls you up to the bar and basically wants to ask about Reed's last moments and to say goodbye. I really liked Alex's character and appreciated this goodbye.

A while after this, you get a postcard on your megabuilding apartment door from Morocco. Alex is free too. A very good ending. Now it's up to V to find out how to survive (lol)

Which is better?

You get to see into So Mi's past with the first ending. First hand. You get some conversations with Reed that give him more depth, but So Mi either dies or might as well have died. Reed lives on avoiding his very clear regret, but may have found purpose. If you choose to take the help here V becoming just another face in the crowd... a bit of a shame if you played into the 'become a night city legend' but kind of deep and real considering now he has a new life, but had to go through a lot and lose a lot on the way.

With the second ending, Alex and So Mi live & them and Reed are free from being dogs to the NUSA government. You get your farewells... at least somebody gets a happy ending. With this, you also get your farewell with Johnny in one of the base endings. You can digest the weight of a life and choosing your own way to go. There's some moments in this, the conversations inbetween, in big fights, hand in hand with So Mi that make this worth while. Digesting it all with Johnny means a lot too.

So idk

[grillsdontcry]

Tbh Good Omens season 2 was a little weird to me. These are just my personal thoughts on it.

Everything was a little off. You see how Crowley and Aziraphale have obviously known each other a long time, but they didn't really show how they know each other, the way really old friends do, friends who have helped and (pretend) fought each other for centuries. Idk, I think it's because they didn't really show any of the casual intimacy they should have.

Also: I think Crowley and Aziraphale should've been living together. Crowley was living in his car, and Aziraphale already had that room that he gave to Gabriel. It would've made sense, and would've given them the intimacy that I didn't really notice in this season? Like, people were already calling them husbands from the first season. They had that domesticity, but then it was gone in this one. Crowley could've kept his plants in the shop, and it could've shown how Aziraphale has also gotten into the habit of talking to them like Crowley does.

Besides that, it felt like we didn't really need some of the plotlines, like the zombies or Nina and Maggie, most bc we didn't see why Maggie was in love with Nina. We saw her pining over her, but we didn't see how it started, or why they might be good together. Aziraphale really didn't have to use them for his lie.

Aziraphale and Crowley also felt a little out of character compared to the first season. Aziraphale a bit too naive, and Crowley a bit too serious. Obviously Aziraphale isn't jaded by any means, and Crowley isn't the sort to be excessively jovial, but they had just successfully outmaneuvered both Heaven and Hell and averted the apocalypse. I feel like there's room for more complex characterization.

I liked Beelzebub and Gabriel's romance, but I think there could've been more. Instead of the zombie episode, we could've had one dedicated to Beelzebub and Gabriel, who both also seemed out of character in the show, ngl. Beelzebub came off as a little too open from the start, and I like Gabriel with a softer personality but that's definitely not what he was like in the beginning. I think they could meet up that one time and complain about the Apocalypse That Wasn't, and how it starts is that they would wonder why the Hell (Heaven in Gabriel's case) an angel and a demon would work together to save the world, what is it that's so good about Earth? And so, they would decide to find out. They would investigate Earth's joys together. There could be a montage where instead of just showing them meeting a couple times at a few places, they go anywhere and everywhere, they go to amusement parks and get soft serve ice cream and try ice skating and watch movies and experience so many things together. Basically they go on a whole bunch of Not-Dates around the world and experience the pleasures that humanity has to offer for the first time. And then after all that, they could be sitting at the pub, and the song would be playing in the background, and there would be a Vibe.

Beelzebub, with dawning horror: Is this...?

Gabriel, bemused, This Close to an Epiphany: Are we...?

They realize it at the same time.

Both: Oh no.

They both vanish. They ran away.

But then, unable to stay away, they meet up again. They stare at each other.

Beelzebub, unusually flustered: Well. I figured it out. What about you?

Gabriel, blustering: I also figured it out. But, uh, I think you should say what you figured out...to make sure we figured out the same thing.

Beelzebub: I want to hear you say what you figured out first.

They get nowhere. They go get drinks.

With several empty beer mugs on the table, Beelzebub says: Alright, on three, we'll say it at the same time. Ready? One...two...three.

Neither of them say it. They both take gulps from their beers. Cut to the table being absolutely stacked with empty tankers. The bartender's like, 'Uh, I think I should cut you off,' and Beelzebub does something demon-y to scare him and he's like 'Nevermind, have as many as you like, no need to pay!'

Cut again. There's a fortress of empty beer mugs.

Beelzebub, thoroughly drunk: Wha' wassit you wanned ta' say?

Gabriel, absolutely plastered: I think...it was...uh...I think...

He thinks about it. He's thinking so hard right now. Finally, he wrestles it down: Are we in love?

Beelzebub, pointing: Tha's whot I figured out, too!

And last but not least: Crowley and Aziraphale. It really didn't need to end the way it did. And I think that Metatron's first choice to replace Gabriel shouldn't have been Aziraphale, but Crowley. He would decide to return him to his full former angelic glory. Even better than his former angelic glory, actually. Aziraphale would caution him that Crowley would refuse, but Metatron would request that he ask him anyway.

Cut to Crowley's response.

Crowley: #!$*_!\":$€&`[·§Г^}￦ฯ!$% (censored for sensitive ears)

Cut to Aziraphale informing Metatron of his answer: He said no.

Metatron sighs and says: Very well. And you, Aziraphale? What do you think of taking Gabriel's position?

Aziraphale, smiling politely: I'm afraid I have responsibilities down here that I must see to. I can't let just anyone run my bookshop, you know. They might sell my books.

He turns away, and we see from the way his expression changes out of Metatron's sight that he feels he's just dodged a bullet on fire being chased by the snapping jaws of a crocodile which is followed by the gaping maw of an enraged grizzly bear which is overshadowed by an oncoming meteor the size of Birmingham. Basically he makes this face -> 😬

Metatron, meanwhile, is somewhat put out: I suppose I have no choice, then.

He tells Gabriel he can return to his former position.

Gabriel: Hm...nah.

Cut to Metatron sitting hunched in a chair with his face in his hands.

Muriel: Would you like some hot chocolate? :)

Metatron looks at her. His other options are Michael or Uriel.

He asks her.

Meanwhile, at the shop, Crowley is sprawled in his favored armchair while Aziraphale hands him a cup of tea. "Everyday" is playing on the record player.

Aziraphale: You know, I quite like this song. I think it's grown on me.

Crowley: Not me. I'd like it if I never heard it again. He played it every day, all day, that feathery bastard. The only reason I didn't break the record is because you'd be cross.

Aziraphale, smiling at him: That's the only reason?

Crowley: If you're implying I actually love that song, don't. There's no secret love here.

There's a pause.

Aziraphale: You know, if you really wanted to visit Alpha Centauri, I could...make some time in my schedule.

Crowley: Oh, yes? Your schedule of not selling books?

Aziraphale: Yes, that one. You let me borrow your car, after all. It's only fair I do something for you.

Crowley, scoffing: You do plenty for me. You're the one who fixed the car in the first place after it burned up spectacularly, you let me move in--insisted on it, actually--

He holds up the cup: -You got me tea.

Aziraphale: Well, I--I want to. I want to do those things for you.

Crowley, pausing (he doesn't quite know what's happening): It's good tea.

Aziraphale: Well. Good.

There's another pause.

Aziraphale: Crowley, please tell me if you don't want this.

He takes Crowley's cup and sets it aside, and then he places his hand on Crowley's shoulder and leans in, closing his eyes.

Crowley pulls his head back, a look on his face like what's happening?!

Aziraphale doesn't see it since his eyes are closed. He kind of stays in place, eyes squeezed shut, lips puckered.

Crowley's alarm fades as he stares at him. After a moment, he leans in.

Their kiss is soft. They're so in love and it's so sweet and domestic and tender I might cry

I think it could've been really nice

[fluffykiddosstuff]

coffee shop (Nines x reader x gavin)

i was searching for stories with nines and gavin x reader but didn't found many (not forcelly implying smut but i'll do that in an another one shot lol)

warnings : strong language, violence, possessive theme, toxic ex, abusive past relationship, torture, manipulation, kidnapping

Might do a part 2? Idk yet

-------------------

you were just working in a coffee shop nearby the dpd locals. So it was natural that often, the people working there would come get lunch, drinks or just a snack. tho one day one person intrigued you. It was a tall android, the same one as the android named connor who passed many times taking snacks and coffee for the lieutenant of the dpd. but he was taller, had grey-blue eyes instead of warm dark chocolates eyes and his voice was more firm and strict. You got him his order and looked at him with your marker pen in your hand.

"a name on the cup sir ?"

"you can put gavin on it, oh and please write a litlle 'dickhead' with a heart under, it's for my partner"

you smiled and laughed at the little "attention" and looked where the android customer was looking, a shorter man who was pouting on the outside of the store was sitting on a bench. The android smirked and got back to you, he gave of a cold impression but he didn't seem so heartless, after all deviancy was a normal thing in detroit now.

"sure no problem"

you giggled and did what he asked and handed him the cup.

"have a good day sir"

"you too miss"

while cleaning the counter you could see the did say gavin shouting at his partner then getting kissed, he blushed and hurried into a police car. You happily smiled to yourself, at least some people got chance in love unlike you.

After one good month you suspected that your boyfriend was even more weird than usual, he always asked you at what hour you were coming back from work, with who you were hanging out but lately, you found some blue liquid in the house that you suspected being thirium, and sometimes big sounds were coming from the basement. He always told you that it was him working for his work or others things to excuse the hints that he was doing something weird.

you decided that it was enough and you were going to talk to someone at the dpd about all of that after work. The android wich you finally know his name who was nines and gavin his partner came in the coffee shop to take a snack before going home as they did every friday. You took their order and came back with it, putting it on their table.

"Here you are guys !" you said happily while smiling to both of them, since they came often you began to be friends with them.

"thank you y/n" said gavin before sipping his coffee, nines looked at you and scanned you, your stress level was higher than usual.

"y/n is there anything wrong ? you seem stressed" gavin got his gaze back on you as the android spoke while you hugged the tray to your chest and swallowed your saliva, nervous about the confession you were going to do.

"actually yes..my..boyfriend has been acting strange this past month, i suspect him of doing something very bad in the basement of our hous.."

when you were going to go further in your explication, your boss called for you.

"oh hum i should go, i'll explain tomorrow then" you were making your way to go but nines took your wrist

"wait you can come at our hous tonight and explaine us, you always you would like to see our appartment so here is the change" the android slightly smiled at you and that made you blush a bit

"sure why not, if it's okay with gavin of course" you both looked the 3rd person around the table and he looked away, his cheeks reddened

"yeah sure whateva" he sipped his cup while you got away to finish your day.

"do you think it's a good idea thin can ? she said she has a boyfriend after all" Reed looked at his own boyfriend wo was sitting back on his chair

"i saw y/n with bruises on her wirsts and on her neck the other day, it seemed that it was an average man who did that to her" he sipped his thirium drink, glancing in your directions where you were laughing with a colleague

"you don't think that she-" gavin looked also at you then back at nines who slowly nodded his head

"maybe but perhaps it's what she wants to talk about tonight, you know we can't act without enough evidences"

gavin agreed and they leaved, after all they had to prepare diner for tonight.

But they didn't know that your boyfriend was worse than planned.

You prepared yourself, makeup and a pretty outfit to go out, you just wanted to feel pretty but your boyfriend didn't seem to see it like that, he grabbed firmly your wirst and squeezed it, you whimpered while protecting your face with your other hand.

"you are doing this for who !? where are you going !?"

"i-i just wanted to be pretty that's all ! leave me alone please you are hurting me.."

your phone buzzed and lighted himself, your partner got off of your wirst and readed the message

'yo y/n we are waiting for you, me and the tin can, are you on your way ?'

he crashed your phone into his fist and throwed it right into your nose, making it bleed. You pinched it with your hand while he pulled your hair

" i knew it you fucking bicth ! you are cheating on me ! and the worst thing is that it's with one man and a fucking walking computer !"

he beated you so you got uncouscious, he then dragged you to the basement, and your worst fears were proved, a bunch of 10 androids were beated up and destroyed, many knifes, bats and other weapons to make them suffer, they looked at you and helped you getting on the wall to take some sleep.

gavin and nines pov :

gavin was stomping in all of the living room while nines was sitting straight on the couch

" fuck nines it as been 3 hours ! she readed my message but didn't respond ! what if something happened to her ?"

nines got up and took his boyfriend's hands in his and looked at him, his led blinking in a stressful red-yellow shade.

"i'm worried too but you know we have to wait until 24 hours to said someone is missing, maybe she felt asleep because of her work ?"

"i hope so.."

the next day the dpd took a call from your boss, he siad youw eren't at work and that you didn't prevent him, wich was not how you behave usually. some coworkers of yours came and explained that sometimes they saw you with bruises on your body, one time you even came with a black eye, so they all suspected your boyfriend.

Fowler had took hank, gavin, nines and connor on the case, since nines and gavin were close to you they could have a clue of what happened, they all sitted near hank's desk, connor on his, gavin standing up and nines sitting on the edge of connor's desk.

"so what do you knew about her, did she said anything to you ?" hank asked, looking at the pair while connor was searching for your adress

"well not exactly, we invited her into our house yesterday night because she said her boyfriend had a weird behavior and she wanted to talk about it" gavin said, a coffee in the hand

"yes and also i noticed many bruises on her wirst and neck who was coming from an average man" completed nines

"i see, connor you got the adress ?" the lieutenant got up and putted his jacket on

"yes hank, she don't live that far away but we have to take the cars"

the group of 4 all got into a car and reached to your house, the two on the back side stressing more than the two on the front.

They ringed to your door, no response, Connor tried again but there was no response even after that. Hank took his gun and so did Gavin, they didn't liked each other but they could behave in a case like that. Nine unlocked the door and they all came in, there was no one in the house. They were going to leave but they heard something fall in the basement. Nines and Gavin got to enter it while hank and Connor were still up in case someone came back. Gavin break the door and they couldn't see at first wag was going on by how dark it was, nines put the lights on and what they saw was.. Horrifying.. Many androids were ripped apart, many dead androids too but more important, you were here, tied up to a wall like a dog and you were hurt, Gavin runned to you and called an ambulance while nines helped the Few androids who survived.

"come one y/n keep your eyes open! The ambulance is coming!"

He putted pressure on your wounds but that's when they heard yelling and shots upstairs, Connor got to the basement

"we got the man who was behind all of this, he is injured but nothing who could cause his dead"

You got in the ambulance to get healed up and the androids could get repaired. When you woke up, many androids that you helped got you presents to thank you, you told the dpd all about your boyfriend did to you and these poor androids so he could go in jail. After all of that your normal life came back as usual, getting out of the dpd department nines and Gavin reached to you.

" y/n please wait for us" said nines with a little smirk

Gavin had a big blush on his face and handed you (favorite flower) with a box of chocolates

"it was my idea but Gavin insisted to gave them to you-"

Gavin gave a deadly stare at his boyfriend and you laughed while smelling the flowers

"thank you you too, I appreciate it, maybe we should get this dinner that we never got tonight?"

You kissed gavin's then nine's cheek and got away, smiling. Nines laughed slightly while Gavin was pouting as usual

"fucking-"

"she will never scease to amaze me"

"what about me tincan? I'm a fucking ghost?"

"no but you are very predictable detective"

And all of that ended in a playful fight between the boys before they headed home to prepare the dinner