#you got the high and low of my life. | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

ribcagewolf · 8 months

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worst way to love someone is quietly/////////////

#remember when we made a marriage pact #remember when you were the only thing that kept me alive. when i was lying on that hospital bed in the er #and you were the only one who knew bc i was afraid to call my parents #we used to be the only ones there for each other #remember driving three hours in silence listening to graceland and knowing we were both thinking it #remember when you . literally taught me how to play guitar #remember the smoke signals. how we sent messages through everything #remember that night at the motel we were all in c******s room talking and you put your hand on my back #and then we laid beside each other whispering about how relationships dont make sense #and you fell asleep first and i went under the covers and got really close to your back to feel your body heat #remember how lonely we both were before #i wrote in my journal that loving you was the most important thing that had ever happened to me #and you loving me was the only thing i had ever worked for and earned #and id stay alive to get us both out of here. id write that album and youd be lead guitar and i owed you that #and when you moved away it was the worst thing #you got the high and low of my life.#you were afraid to tell me you were leaving and i accidentally found out when your mom told mine and #i got so sick immediately #but then you came back to me #anyways after all this #yeah whatever me neither #i wouldnt have done it any other way and theres no other way it couldve went down #youre still the only person ive loved this way that i didnt want to have sex with #it was too delicate #neither of us couldve been louder #thats how it happens i guess

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maulfucker · 7 months

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So fucked up that obimaul is a rarepair. What do you mean not everyone is obsessed with enemies to lovers with a Force connection, where one side is completely obsessed with the other who barely acknowledges him (but is just as affected)

#hm i should make an original post tag #obimaul #like. say what you want but obi-wan saw a random dathomirian zabrak and immediately went 'maul?? alive??'#he DOES care about maul he just doesn't actively seek him out like maul does #post prompted by this song that makes me think about Maul in his crime lord era‚ all the luxury of the world within his reach‚#but none of it satisfies him because what he really wants is to find (and kill) kenobi #'another night up in the best suite; everything's gone wrong already‚ my body admits; dreaming so high the floor is the limit;#once again i got lost.. [...] another night i give myself‚ top of a skyscraper; i'm the king of the world‚ dreams for rent;#and when i look at myself i sigh with a low voice‚ 'i don't feel bad i just feel nothing''#(<- song is são paulo‚ 2015 by jão)#it's a song about feeling dissatisfied with the life of fame because there's an emptiness he can't fill with sex drugs or luxuries #and from the context of the album it's likely he's thinking about a past lover he's still not over #so. imagine with me.#i might make something out of this. maybe.#but like. posting about songs that make me think obimaul thoughts. not very productive. almost no audience.#... and while making this post i've been attacked by yet another song with a very obimaul words #'lie to me‚ run from me‚ we swear it doesn't count‚ in this way of ours‚ but it's not because i hate you that i can't kiss you anymore'#<- pilantra by jão and anitta

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genotama · 1 month

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lb I'LL MISS YOU. that said i'll be here all week and the week after that and the week after that and the week af-

#i have had the most fun ever experiencing the epic highs and lows with all of you #my only regret is not having joined earlier #now if i said i was going to channel the energy leftover from the gaping hole in my life that is tuning into a sports game every other nigh #into writing gay ass rpf. what then #if nobody got me ik pens lb got me #pens lb

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laurelwen · 9 months

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lyrics from Through Me (The Flood) by Hozier

#i'm here to hurt you today #it's about time this fandom got a hozier edit #as always please forgive my juvenile editing skills #high effort low reward posting - story of my life #like minds #nigel colbie #alex forbes #nigel colbie x alex forbes #tom sturridge #eddie redmayne #murderous intent #like minds 2006 #murder boyfriends #hozier

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aconstantmonologue · 2 years

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yeah

#the want to leave an old life behind to start over doing what you love with people you love got to me ok #and the found family #legends and lattes #low stakes high fantasy #my thoughts #remus reads

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mariyekos · 13 days

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One day I'm going to finish my FFXVI mega essay, but for now I think my thoughts on the game can be summarized like this:

When making FFXVI, the developers sure knew what they wanted to do, and by god were they going to do it.

Were they also going to do other things that would make those first thing better? Were they going to do other things that make a good game overall? Ehhhhh...they were going to do what they wanted to do, and invest all their time and effort into that, so surely that would be enough! Surely!

#i saw someone call FFXVI the most disappointing 8/10 game they'd ever played #and i agree 100%#it started off SO STRONG #and then. and then!!!#ffxvi #my overall rating is in fact an 8 out of 10. maybe 8.5. definitely not a 9 #i enjoyed many parts of it but by god were the lows low #some of the highs were very high too! i don't regret buying or playing the game! i'm glad i did #but yeah most disappointing 8/10 i ever played is an apt description #my opinion might be slightly impacted by my uh. mental state at the time #2023 was not a good year for me. for several months ffxvi was the only thing i had to look forward to in life #and that's really sad but that was just the place i was in. life was absolutely miserable #i played the demo and was over the moon. good things were coming! it was way better than i anticipated!#then i played the game and while i enjoyed a lot of it a lot was just tedious in a bad way #so many repeated plotlines and so much whacking you over the head with the points they wanted to make #like come on guys i am not an idiot do you really need to tell me this exact thing 18 different times #and have me go out of my way to get. reward which is just a slightly different flavor of that same thing 18 times #that's what i mean by them doing a few things very well. by god were they going to do them. and only them #graphics? beautiful. i had to stop at several points bc i was stunned by the quality.#but after you've seen a few forests and some fallen ruins it gets boring when that's it. the world was just so small and empty #yes i do support the rise up against your oppressor plotlines because that is a good thing to do but that was like. 90% of the story #(including sidequests) and it just kind of got old. why did i just spend 3 hours straight doing sidequests that gave me nothing new #made some of the sidequests feel pointless. especially because the rewards in this game sucked #uh oh i'm getting too negative so i'll end it here #ffxvi was a good game but it is not one of my faves. glad i played it but idk when i'll play it again.#erurandomness

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arthur-r · 21 days

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testosterone meeting complete?!?!?!?!???!!!

#it went well the doctor was so much better than any doctor i’ve met ever in my life #treated me like a human being?? was familiar with my pre-existing conditions??#saw autism on my chart and just acknowledged it and moved on?? no ‘‘are you sure you’re trans you’re just a confused autistic kid’’ ??!!#i have an informed consent paper to look at now but it’s all stuff i’ve already researched #i have officially decided that T is more important to me than biological children so we got this #(i was already basically there but i had an anxiety spiral a couple months ago about freezing my eggs which i’ve confirmed was just anxiety #‘‘just anxiety’’ i sound like a fucking evil doctor but like. intrusive-thoughts-anxiety vs thing-i-should-listen-to. i don’t want bio kids #the one thing i’m nervous about is my singing voice i wanna make sure i get some recordings in before my voice changes #cause my voice isn’t mine but i’ve sure worked hard on it shdhdf and it has a high pitched anxious quality to it that you can’t often find #shdhdhf i just feel like the voice i have now is more unique than wherever i’m gonna end up. and i really want to sound like my favorite cis #men musicians but i feel like my anxious songs just won’t hit the same if it sounds like some guy is singing them #so i’m gonna make some recordings within the next month to put out pre-T demo versions of my songs (real demos not what i’m always posting)#and then i’ll be ready. cause i want to sound like some weird shitty man SO BAD. please just let me be some off-key guy with voice cracks #TO BE CLEAR i would sure like to be a talented singer on testosterone. which has happened for one of my dearest friends and can probably #also happen for me. if i keep working on my voice all the time. BUT i would rather have a shitty low voice than a beautiful high one #which i did a lot of thinking about and grappling with since i’m a vocalist and it’s kind of really important to me #but half the male musicians i listen to can’t even hold a tune. so I CAN HANDLE IT #anyway!! i’m going to latin now!! and then i have work and then asexual club and then heading home and maybe laundry #i hope everybody has a good day and i love you dearly #me. my post. mine.#delete later #medical cw #(? ask to tag)

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glompcat · 10 months

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I am waiting rn for my new AC install, so while waiting in these humid conditions (I tried to move all the furniture near the windows earlier, which was a HUGE mistake) I decided to read some Xena comics. Below is a collection of some of my favorite panels so far:

#I didn't fully move my dining table #just kinda shoved it to the side #because I got overheated #the problem with a four hour delivery window when you are waiting for an AC install #is it is 4 hours in no AC #where you spend far too much time fretting over if you've made everyone's life easy enough yet #especially when the AC unit is normally right behind your dining table #which has crap piled on it #and chairs around it #etc #anyway I am fairly out of it #and need nice fun low mental energy things for rn #so xena comics it shall be #I may switch to buffy comics in a bit idk #boom really has been doing an amazing job with buffy tbh #its so nice #but I kinda fell off in the middle of that one about Willow accidently becoming the Slayer in a spell mishap in high school

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fictionadventurer · 2 years

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#if i weren't so afraid of sharing info online #and of sounding like i think i'm special or something #i'd share my birth story with you #a big reason i'm so staunchly pro life is that i got to survive when so many children who were so much more developed than me #got torn limb from limb with the full consent of the law #i was a medical emergency #i endangered my mother's life #yet no one wanted to kill me #no one said it was necessary to crush my skull to save my mother #i was delivered #far too early #far too small #you know what i'll just say it: 24.5 weeks #at a regular catholic hospital that doesn't do abortions #had i been a few days younger it would have been legal for any state in the union to abort me at that age #roe v wade required it #yet i had doctors and nurses fighting tooth and nail for months to make sure i survived and survived healthy #i was supposed to be blind and brain-damaged #i have low-prescription lenses and graduated as valedictorian of my high school class #i got the chance that so many other babies didn't #there's almost a form of survivor's guilt #there's anger on behalf of my fellow preemies #the ones who are lucky enough to stay in the womb yet have doctors and mothers fighting to kill them #you say they're not a person?#was *i* not a person?#was *i* worthless?#there were people who thought i wasn't and i'm grateful for it every day #but the thing is none of those other babies are worthless #none of them are monsters destroying their mothers' lives #they are helpless infants who want to live who deserve to live who have no less right to live than i did

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zimmbzon · 5 months

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Scrolling through my screenshots looking for a pic of a haircut I like and I found this

Aaaaaaaanyway

Here’s the link if anyone else wants to watch the game.

#gmmtv starlympic #sea tawinan #badminton #I’m a full grown-up #ya see it all started in the winter of 2018. I saw a queer graphic novel at the uni book store & thought ‘that looks neat but I gotta run’#but I keep thinking about it so I googled at and Woh And Behold the whole thing was on tumblr for free #that was where it all began and now i’m posting a low res pic of some badminton abs #life is fucking great #shout out to #omg check please #and #ngozi #if you got this far I’m gonna tell you a secret:#that scene of Day at badminton practice was spicy and if I ever learn how to high res gif that’ll be my first one

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jackdawsfavorite · 22 days

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Trying to listen to something about that small college in Florida Desantis took over for politics but hearing it described as it was before reminded me of college-hunting with my mom and triggered the shit out of me.

#School was just.#Around 9-11 school stopped being something I could manage and transitioned more to like #‘’Welcome to the world! This is hell and it lasts forever. At the bottom of our pit here you can see the churning toothsome maw which it #is your sisyphean task to crawl away from even as the loose dirt of the sloping pitsides crumbles beneath your hands and feet carrying you #ver closer. If you fail to escape the maw something that brings you pleasure in life will be taken from you and you will be reconstructed #and returned to the pit to fail again.’’#Looking at residential colleges makes me so sad to look back on because of how low my standards for my life were.#My mom was carting me around California and filling in a major for me on tour paperwork and I was trying to be as small and socially gracef #l as possible and that was it. No thought of what I wanted. No thought of my own future at all aside from a vague sense that #given how all my efforts towards anything collapsed in their infancy #I would not be the type of person who Gets Into Colleges.#And I was right! I don’t remember if I couldn’t handle the application process or if I just never got accepted to any residential colleges #r if it was a decision my mother made for me after I dropped out of high school and got a GED instead of graduating properly but I just wen #to community college for a semester. And then I convinced my parents to let me take a year off from struggling in the hell pit and they jus #let me walk out! And I never went back! And it’s only by luck of circumstance I’ve been able to get away with that!#Christ it’s 11 am and I haven’t had my breakfast smoothie. Calm down bitch.

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vigilantesyd · 6 months

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#i know no one wants to hear this but i need to put it somewhere #i'd like to say that i love taylor #love her so much #she has been such an intrinsic part of my life and my coming of age #and her music got me through and continues to get me through all my highs and lows #i believe that she is a good person and that she has good intentions #even now #i want to believe that so badly #but i am having a hard time!!!#like she seems.... proud of the fact that she is a billionaire #and like yes we joke about her being a capitalist #and of course i know she is also running a business #but it just feels incredibly out of touch the way she spoke about her money #and i know the argument would be well you just hate women being successful #and actually no thats not it at all and i wont be elaborating!#and the silence on palestine is literally SOOO loud #genocide is not political #i dont know i dont know i dont know #ive never struggled like this with her #its really been leaving a bad taste in my mouth the last few weeks though #i want nothing more than to celebrate the time piece because i truly am so proud of her #but everything feels kinda wrong rn

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inusmasha · 6 months

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Me: Cannabis is your plant ally. It has to be respected and used with purpose. It’s not for everyone. There are risks. When you use it, sit awhile and observe what it does for you. When you reach for it, is it because you’re numbing your negative feelings? Are you trying to dilute your sensitivity to something? Are you truly trying to just have a good time or have you formed patterns and habits that need to be adjusted? When used with intention it can be a wonderful and life changing tool.

Also me but I feel a hangover coming on: 🚬🚬🚬🚬🚬🚬🚬🚬🚬🚬🚬🚬🚬🚬🚬🚬🚬🚬🚬🚬🚬HELP💨HELP💨 HELP💨 HELP💨 HELP💨 GIMME🚬 GIMME🚬 GIMME🚬 GIMME🚬 PLZPLZPLZPLZPLZPLZPLZPLZPLZPLZ1!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

#cannabis #Im not saying it’s bad #I’m saying the level of desperation to not feel hung over overrides all Lol #In Ayuverda you’re only suppose to use a tinyyyyyy bit #because it’s powerful #so I try to keep that in mind whenever I use it #bc I use to be the person that got high everyday and it was a very low time in my life #and i got to a point where I didn’t even feel the effects of the high anymore #so that’s when I was like uh oh #*takes metaphorical step back*#but now my relationship with it is a little healthier #and herbalism helped me further understand that it means to look at a plant as a wise and healing friend #rather than a bad habit or substance I’m abusing because I’m bored or sad #and I think that’s important especially when we live in a society hell bent on keeping you numb and consuming #it all goes back to capitalism #kbye im going to throw up all the sangria I had

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theriverdalereviewer · 9 months

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let’s take a moment to mourn riverdale on here

#perhaps mourn isn’t the right word more like celebrate #I owe my whole career to riverdale #my identity #the epic highs and lows of my life to that show #because of riverdale I can’t drop this url my twin sister came up with when I was 16 #I also had many hit posts thanks to riverdale this show is so serious to me #okay but actually im kinda sad riverdale is ending which is crazy???#idk not only is it like the last big show to have 22 episodes and back to back seasons #but it was also endearingly dumb #personally the show just stopped being for me halfway through season 2 when it seriously stopped making any sense #on one hand I can enjoy the camp aspects but I also wanted the show to stay grounded and it definitely wasn’t doing that during s2-onwards #I kinda like the fact that they distinguished themselves from all of the over teen shows by embracing its stupidity and genre shifts #but that was not what I signed up for when I first watched the show #also it was just annoying how messy the characterization and storylines got #onto the IMPORTANT!!! things though #the fact that the barchies won #if you were here for early riverdale you would know that the barchies were an oppressed class #everyone hated us no one thought we had a chance the writers wouldn’t touch us with a ten foot pole #and now look at us the underdogs the dark horse #victory is ours barchies

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mxgyver · 1 year

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tw/cw: negative body talk? (let me know if i need to add) this post will be deleted eventually anyways i just needed to get this out

shopping as plus-sized/mid-sized/larger woman is lowkey a nightmare. i just want to look cute and try to feel cute because I don't always like how my body looks!!! yet all the options we have are dresses that are kinda cute, but the silhouette isn't flattering or the patterns are just... not it. like I'm trying to do a little online black friday shopping as a Treat™️ and although I love ASOS the dresses are a little disappointing :( that or the clothing items are waaay more expensive than the "straight sizes" and it's like??? these are literally the same style and article of clothing why tf are you charging an arm and a leg more for a little extra fabric and time??? it's fucking stupid. that or I'll see something that I think is really cute, but the sizes cut off right before mine 🤪 size-inclusive my ass. anywho, if anyone has some decent suggestions, hit your girl up!

#anywho this is why i stick to just wearing tshirts all of the time :-)#it's the only thing i feel comfortable in especially w/ how large my chest it #i'm still in the process of finding a plastic surgeon for a reduction but i got discouraged the last time i checked because #they said you needed to be under a certain bmi (fucking stupid imo) in order to get it done #and that just... hit me at a low point #like yes because trying to lose weight is going to magically make my tig ole bitties that i've had since high school #when i was like 20 pounds lighter... any smaller 🙄#like yes i've definitely gained weight and sometimes that fucks with my psyche a little #but it's just a number & i'm not trying to let it run my life and how i feel??#anywho i hope y'all are having a good friday 💗#i'll feel fine in a little bit i'm going to go watch youtube or browse more clothing stores #sierra speaks #tbd #side note: i'm feeling fine mentally right now!! just super frustrated with the relationship between fashion & being larger than the “norm”#honestly looking at myself in the mirror half-naked from all angles before getting dressed is kinda nice #sometimes i'll be like damn my butt looks good or sheesh watch out for the curves!!#it's confusing & frustrating going back and forth from feeling pretty good about my body #to feeling like i just don't want to even give my body a single thought ya know #but hey! progress is not a linear thing!#i debated on whether or not to post this bc as i started typing more tags i was like hmmm i'm feeling okay about this #but whatever i guess lmaooo #enough rambling in the tags though #i'll catch y'all out there

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anoriginalderivative · 1 year

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i don’t know who needs to hear this, but something being vegan or keto or whatever doesn’t make it healthier for everyone. every person has unique dietary needs that depend on their personal history and their personal goals for their time and body.

#are you on that high carb goal grind? good for you #i’m on that low carb high fat living my best life journey right now #literally almost got into the most irritating conversation about macros with my family the other day #food

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