#r if it was a decision my mother made for me after I dropped out of high school and got a GED instead of graduating properly but I just wen

[jackdawsfavorite]

Trying to listen to something about that small college in Florida Desantis took over for politics but hearing it described as it was before reminded me of college-hunting with my mom and triggered the shit out of me.

[devine-fem]

Guys. I was racking my brain really hard going through every character Damian’s interacted with, family, friends, whoever to figure out where his abandonment issues may come from and my stomach dropped to my feet when I realized… they probably came from Jon…

Firstly, Damian always had this innate need to prove to himself that he was enough to his mother and father. He felt like he needed to prove to everyone that he was worthy of wearing the “R” of wearing the bat symbol one day. The moment he came out the whom he was told he needed to be worthy of greatness. That there was a great and important path pathed for him.

If Damian was ever shown that he as an individual was not worthy of these things then it would shatter his entire world, it tilt the image of himself he’s made over the years. What people don’t understand is that Damian is already extremely insecure and masks this with his attitude - if he’s not as important as he’s always has to pretend to be then that’d mean he was someone not worthy of importance but someone worth leaving. Do you understand how devastating that is?

He started saying things like “You’re leaving me too?”

Always “leaving me” like they’re walking out on you and the people you care about never want to stay. Then there’s “too”

Damian, who else left you?

He’s gloomy and afraid of her leaving him and this only happened after Robin 2021 when Damian suddenly felt everyone drift away from him.

The same comic that said this.

He’s talking about Jon. Damian should be more upset about Jon’s age up but he shows resentment against it at times.

As a person with abandonment issues myself. You get them when someone you trust and depend on MAKES THE ACTIVE DECISION to leave you without considering your feelings and decides to go on about life without you. The only person he allowed to get close to him and consciously made the decision was Jon. Or Bruce, Bruce did sort of abandoned him when Alfred died although it doesn’t match up, it harmed his ability to make friends and a friend that left is Jon.

Jon’s likely the root of why he suddenly gets so scared of people leaving him.

[fxckadoodledoomunson]

Negligence |Part 6|

Previous

Summary: It’s been over a month since you and Eddie agreed to keep your distance from one another. But when an incident occurs at Family Video, you feel conflicted about your decision.

Warnings: swearing, smoking, underage drinking.

Tagged: @ali-r3n @somethingvicked @booksarekindaneat @tlclick73 @luvingdreams @sadbitchfangirl @lacrymosa-24 @emotionaldreamer @lail1010 @wh0reforbucknasty @thegreatbossjr @rupsmorge @siriuslysmoking @digital-charlie @decadentwombatmiracle @eris-rose-86 @savagejane1 @its-quinns-bread @allagogtoreblog

Author’s Note: Hi! I’m sorry for not updating in a while. Been having massive writer’s block, and I had to rewrite this chapter as I wasn’t satisfied with the previous attempts.

“And smile,” your mother said, as she held the Polaroid camera to her face, taking a couple of photos of Mary and Jason in their prom outfits, while Cain smiled at the couple, as he wiped a tear away. “You look so beautiful, darling,” he commented.

Meanwhile, you were in the kitchen, finishing your dinner before heading back to work. You had decided not to go to prom so Mary could go with Jason, even though they wanted you to come too. However, you swapped shifts with Steve, so he could do something before going with Robin and Vickie.

You were straightening your badge and got off your chair. You then grabbed your bag, as you called out, “I’m off now.”

You were about to head out when Mary call out, “Hey! You’re not leaving until you have a picture with us.”

You rolled your eyes, before letting out a giggle as you went into the living room and stood next to Mary. You then smiled for the camera, as your mother took the photos. After the photos were taken, Mary asked you, “Do you really need to work tonight? Come to prom with us. I’m sure Keith can manage.”

“I wish I could, but I still have to cover Steve’s shift. Apparently he’s got to do something before taking Robin and Vickie,”you replied.

“Well, I can drop you off on the way there,” Jason offered.

“Thanks, but I can cycle.”

“Be careful,” your dad chimed in. You nodded, saying goodbye your family and Jason, before telling him and Mary, “Have fun tonight.”

The couple thanked you, as you headed for the door.

Not long after you had arrived back at work, you were setting yourself up at the counter when Keith came out, wearing a tuxedo, carrying a box. “A bit overdressed for the rest of the shift,” you joked.

“Very funny, Cinderella,” Keith retorted, as he was about to leave when you called out, “Uh, hold on! You’re not really going to prom, are you?”

Instead of answering you, Keith started walking out, humming.

“Hey! You can’t expect me to serve the customers on my own.” As soon as Keith left and got in a car with Ally, you groaned, as you started banging your head on the counter. “Great,” you sarcastically muttered, as you lifted your head up when a couple of customers entered the store.

An hour or so later, Jason and Mary had finished slow dancing and made their way to a table, Mary was greeted by Steve, Robin and Vickie, before waving at Nancy, who was with Jonathan and his friend from Lenora Hills, Argyle. Earlier, Steve had picked up Jonathan and Argyle at the airport, so Jonathan could surprise Nancy. They approached a table, and sat with Andy and Chance. “I can’t believe Patrick didn’t come tonight,” Andy said loudly over the music. “He’s missing out.” Suddenly, a couple of girls from the cheer team went up to Andy and Chance, asking for a dance, which they accepted.

After the boys joined the girls on the dance floor, Jason and Mary watched them, when she asked, “You’re okay…with Patrick being with Chrissy?”

Jason smiled, as he responded, “Yeah, I am.”

Mary tilted her head, as she continued to ask, “So, have they actually…?”

“They haven’t exactly said, but if they do tell me that they’re together, they’ll have my blessing.”

As he put his hand on top of hers, Jason told her, “I’m glad that you came with me tonight.”

Mary smiled, as she replied, “Me too. Months ago, I never thought that I would end up going to senior prom with you, let alone date you.”

Jason chuckled, before telling her, “Yet here we are.”

Mary laughed, before he leaned closer to her, as they both shared a kiss, only to be cut short by a sound of a slap. They turned to find an angry Ally stomping away from Keith. “What the hell?” Mary exclaimed.

“Why’s he here?” Jason asked. “I thought he was working tonight.”

Mary was about to go up to Keith, only to be stopped by Jason when they saw Keith take a swig from his flask. “I hope he’s not gonna do something stupid tonight,” Mary muttered.

A few moments later, you were serving Chrissy and Barnaby, who were renting The Black Cauldron, as some of the other customers had left with their rentals.

As you were checking out the tape, Chrissy said, “You must’ve served half of Hawkins tonight.”

“Yeah, no thanks to Keith,” you replied.

“Still can’t believe Keith left you to do the shift by yourself.”

“I still can’t believe that he’s got a date for prom. I’m pretty sure that he bribed Ally to go with him.”

After checking out the tape, you passed it to Chrissy, who gave you the money for the rental, as you asked her, “So, you’re really not upset about not going to prom?”

Chrissy shook her head, before replying, “After what happened with me and Eddie, we didn’t deserve to go. Besides…” Chrissy had put her arm around her little brother, as she continued to speak, while tussling his hair. “I get to have a movie night with this little guy.”

“And Patrick too,” Barnaby blurted, as he moved her hand away.

“Oh,” you exclaimed, you gave her a surprised look. “Jason didn’t say that Patrick wasn’t going.”

“It was a last minute decision,” Chrissy replied, when you noticed Barnaby was making kissy face behind Chrissy’s back, causing you to let out a giggle. As soon as she turned to him, Barnaby stopped, expressing a mischievous smile.

Chrissy shifted her attention back to you, as she said, “We better get going, before he gets more mischievous.”

She had put her arm around Barnaby, as they were leaving when Chrissy stopped and turned to you, and told you, “Listen, I know you guys aren’t talking anymore, but I thought you should know that Eddie misses you.”

Your face fell, hearing her comment. Ever since you and Eddie had agreed to keep your distance, you tried your best to avoid any conversations involving him, and the places you would go with him, even the Hideout. You were about to say something when Chrissy elaborated, “He didn’t actually say, but I’ve seen the way he looks at you in class.”

You silently looked down at the counter, whilst fidgeting with the stacks of returned tapes, wondering if what she said was true.

“I’m sorry,” Chrissy began to apologise. “I shouldn’t have said-“

“Don’t worry about it,” you softly replied, as you shook your head.

As you looked back up, Chrissy gave you a small smile, before saying goodbye to you.

As soon as they left, you rested your chin on the stacks as you sighed when you heard Barnaby clamouring, “Chrissy and Patrick, sitting in a tree, K-I-S-“

“Stop!” You heard Chrissy cry, making you giggle, as you sat up and picked the tapes up. After you had rewind some of the tapes, you had put them in their designated shelves. After putting the last video tape on the shelf in the science fiction section, you couldn’t help but look at The Planet of the Apes cover. You picked it up, as thought about the first time you watched it with Eddie, reminiscing about how he would make you laugh by re-enacting the ending scene. You thought about that memory when you thought about Chrissy’s comment. Does he really miss me? You shook your head, before putting the tape back on the shelf. You then went over to the drama section and picked up Nineteen Eighty Four, deciding to play it during your shift.

After you took the tape out of its cover and put it in the VCR player, you sat down on the stool and grabbed the controller, before pressing the play button, waiting for the film to start when you heard the bell ring at the door, making you get off the stool, as you began to greet, “Welcome to Family Vi-“

You froze when you saw Eddie standing in front of the counter, holding a tape.

For the first time in over a month, you were facing him. Trying your best to be professional, you cleared your throat, before asking him, “How can I help?”

Instead of answering you, Eddie looked at the video cover and smirked, as he picked it up. “Trust you to pick a dystopian movie on your shift,” he lightly chuckled. “Last I remember, you picked Soylent Green-“

Eddie paused as he watched you give him a stern look, making his smile drop. As he placed the cover back on the counter, he cleared his throat. “I’m just…returning…” He hesitated, as he put down his copy of Nightmare on Elm Street. You took the tape, trying to avoid eye contact with him. You then checked if the tape had been rewound. After seeing it had been, you checked it in when Eddie spoke, “It’s quiet tonight. I thought the place would be packed with half of Hawkins.”

He quietly chuckled, as he watched you typing on the database.

He sighed as you continued to avoid meeting his gaze. He had no idea that you were working. If it weren’t for the fact that the rental was due, he would’ve come back another day, saving you the trouble of seeing him.

Eddie gulped, and began to speak, “Look-“

Suddenly, the electricity went out in the store. Eddie heard you swear, as he padded closer to the counter, only to hear your footsteps move further away. He leaned over, as he called your name when he heard a loud bang. “Shit!” You shouted from the back room.

A worried Eddie looked up at the door, and rushed into the back room. After he took out his lighter and flipped the lid off, lighting it up, he began searching the room when he found you squatting down on the floor, looking for something.

“Where’s the flashlight?” You growled, “Why can’t Keith put things where they belong?”

“You okay?” Eddie asked, before realising that Keith wasn’t here. “Where’s Keith anyway?”

You quickly turned your head to face him for a second, before turning back to look for the flashlight, as you mumbled, having no choice but to answer him, “He’s at the prom.”

Eddie’s eyes widened, as he asked, “What? You’ve been working on your own this whole time?”

You didn’t respond. You continued to search for the flashlight when you heard Eddie sigh, before hearing his footsteps move away from you. You turned around again, finding Eddie opening the fuse box with his free hand, before he slipped the switches, bringing the electricity back.

“And then God said let there be light,” Eddie dramatically cried. He then chuckled as he flipped the lid back on his lighter. As he turned around, his smile dropped when he noticed a cut on one side of your forehead. “What?” You asked, looking confused, when Eddie suddenly grabbed your shoulders and gently sat you down on the chair, as he asked, “Where’s the first aid kit?” You silently turned your head to the cupboard, and you were about to get up and get the first aid kit when Eddie stopped you. “No, you sit, I’ll get it,” Eddie said, before going to the cupboard and picked up the first aid kit. You lightly touched your head, and winced. As you looked down at blood on your fingertips, you thought, Shit, I must’ve cut my head when something fell off the shelf.

After grabbing what he needed, Eddie squatted in front of you and took out a disinfected wipe, before he started gently dab it on your wound, making you wince.

Eddie apologised, as he continued to dab the wipe on your forehead, when he began speak, “Can’t believe Keith left you on your own.”

You glanced down at the floor, biting your lip when Eddie mumbled, “When I see that asshole, I’m kicking his ass.”

You gave a small smile, as you looked up to glance back when Eddie quickly looked down, tearing a plaster out of the cover and stuck it onto your wound, as he said, “There we go.”

He was about to tousle your hair when he stopped and refrained himself.

“Thanks,” you mumbled, as you were about to stand up when Eddie stopped you, “Woah! I think you should stay still for a while,” he told you, as he had his hands on your shoulders.

You moved his hands away, as you retorted, “I’m fine.”

You stood up and took a step forward when you started to feel wobbly. Eddie held onto you, steadying you, as he sat you on the chair. “Easy, sweetheart,” Eddie softly spoke, as he lightly rubbed your shoulder.

“Do you need me to drive you to the hospital?” He asked, as he squatted in front of you.

You silently shook your head, when he suggested, “Well, maybe I can take you home. I’ll let Harrington and Buckley know what happened-“

“I’m fine,” you snapped as you glared at him. Eddie’s eyes darkened, as he angrily muttered, “Fine.” He stood up straight and turned away from you, before walking away, as he continued to mutter, “Don’t come crying to me when something else falls on your head.” Your eyes softened, feeling guilty for shouting at him, while Eddie stormed out. “Eddie-“ you called out when you heard the bell ring. You leaned forward, covering your face and started to quietly sob.

Back outside, a grumbling Eddie stormed towards his van and opened his door, before getting inside. He was about to switch on the ignition when he heard the radio from another vehicle, belonging to a kissing couple, started playing Chicago’s Hard Habit To Break. He then looked up at the store, face softening, as tears fell down on his cheeks, before he pressed his forehead against the steering wheel, sobbing, wishing that he could take back what he said.

Meanwhile in the storeroom, you heard a vehicle driving off. You had wanted to keep your distance from Eddie, but with him leaving the way he did, you began to realise how much you missed him. Your thoughts broke when you heard the bell ring again. Assuming it was a customer coming in, you called out, “I’ll be with you in a few minutes.” You wiped your tears away, as you got up to get a tissue from the toilet when you felt wobbly again, before your vision started getting blurry. You faintly heard someone calling your name, before you started losing consciousness…

“Has she had any previous head injuries?”

“Well, she, uh…hit her head at school awhile ago, but I don’t think she went to the hospital for it.”

You fluttered your eyes open, finding yourself in a hospital bed, before shifting your attention to Eddie talking to the nurse.

“Will she be okay?” You heard Eddie ask with concern in his voice.

“We’re still waiting for the results,” the nurse informed him.

“Eddie?” You croaked, as you slowly sat up. Eddie turned around and realised that you were awake. As he went over to sit down beside you, he softly greeted you, “Hey sweetheart, how are you feeling?”

You rubbed your eyes, as you asked hoarsely, “How long have I been here?”

“Several hours,” Eddie replied, as the nurse approached you.

“You were lucky that your boyfriend was there when you fainted,” the nurse told you, as she checked your fluids.

Boyfriend? You thought, as you watched her walk away. You were about to tell her that he wasn’t your boyfriend, when Eddie asked, “When’s she allowed to leave?”

“Like I said, we’re still waiting for the results,” she replied. “But if she starts vomiting or anything like that, let us know immediately.”

Eddie nod at the nurse, before she left the room.

You noticed that Eddie kept yawning. “Have you been here all night?” You asked.

“Pretty much,” Eddie replied, as he stretched his legs, before he checked his watch, and continued to reply, “Had only a couple of hours of sleep.”

You gasped, only realising that you’ve been in bed overnight. “Shit,” you exclaimed. “The video store-“

“Don’t worry. I called your folks and your dad locked up for you.”

You sighed, before mumbling, “That’s a relief. Otherwise, Keith would’ve been pissed.”

“I don’t think that you need to worry about Keith. He’s got bigger problems right now.”

You furrowed your brows, as you asked, “What do you mean?”

Eddie sighed, as he stood up. “You’ll probably see for yourself later,” Eddie said. “You’ve got Mary and Carver waiting outside, I’ll get them now.”

You tried to speak when Eddie left the room. You sighed, as you heard the door open once more. Mary and Jason came in, still wearing their prom outfits. “Hey,” Mary greeted you, as she and Jason sat beside you. “How are you feeling?” She asked, as she took your hand.

“I’m okay,” you croaked. “Have you guys been here all night too?”

“Yeah. Mostly went to cafeteria and got coffee for Eddie while he insisted on staying with you.” Mary explained that your dad had left a note, which Steve and Robin found, about you going the to hospital.

“Munson explained how it happened,” Jason said. “You were lucky that he was there when he was.”

“I wouldn’t say that,” Mary chimed. “If Keith had been at work instead of prom, you wouldn’t be here.”

“Eddie said that Keith has bigger problems, what did he mean by that?” You asked.

Jason and Mary explained that Keith and Ally had a fall out, because he kept talking about Nancy and by the time Higgins had announced Prom King, who was unsurprisingly Jason, and Prom Queen, to everyone’s surprise, was Nancy, Keith had stumbled onto the stage, drunkenly professing his love for eldest Wheeler, before he fell off the stage and hurt himself.

“Shit, is he okay?” You asked.

Before any of them could answer, you heard a familiar male voice yell, “My head!”

“Was that…?” You began to ask.

“Keith? Yeah, it was,” Mary replied.

“How serious are his injuries?”

A few moments later, Mary and Jason wheeled you to Keith’s room, seeing a badly injured Keith with casts plastered on both arms and legs, as well as a neck collar.

Keith had let out an exaggeration groan in pain when Mary and Steve silently glared at him, making him stop.

“I know you said he fell off the stage, but I never thought it would be this bad,” you said.

“He’s gonna be off work for quite a while,” Steve replied, as he knocked on one of Keith’s plastered legs, making Keith groan. “But I’m sure Robin and I can cope.”

“Uh, and me,” you retorted.

“Well obviously,” Steve had put his hands on his hips before telling you, “But you need to rest. Speaking of which…”

Suddenly, Steve came up behind you and started wheeling you back to your room, with Mary and Jason following you. “I’m taking you back to your room,” Steve said, while Keith continued to groan. As Steve wheeled you through the hallway, you heard a frantic male voice say loudly, “She’s not in her room. She hasn’t discharged herself, has she?”

As Steve continued to push you, you saw a nurse walking fast down the hall with a frantic Eddie behind her as she apologised and informed him that she needed to see another patient when he spotted you and the others. You saw him sigh with relief, before he ran up to you, nearly knocking you over.

“Woah! Easy Munson,” Steve exclaimed. “You could’ve knocked her out of her chair.”

“Sorry,” Eddie panted. “I just went inside and she wasn’t there. I thought something happened.”

“I’m okay,” you assured him. “Mary and Jason just took me to see Keith.”

Eddie rubbed his forehead, feeling relieved. “How are you feeling now?” He asked.

“Well, I haven’t vomited,” you replied.

“That’s good.” Eddie cleared his throat, before announcing, “Well, I guess I better go, you don’t need me…”

He began to turn around when he heard you speak, “Eddie?”

He turned back to you, as you asked, “Maybe you could take me back to my room?”

Everyone gaped, as an astonished Eddie asked, “Really?”

“Are you sure you want him to?” Mary asked, worried that Eddie’s presence might upset you.

Eddie gazed at you, when you nodded. “I’m sure,” you replied.

Eddie smiled as Steve moved back, telling him, “She’s all yours.”

Eddie went behind the wheelchair when Mary asked, “Do you need us to stay?”

You shook your head, telling her, “You guys should go home and rest.”

Mary gave you a goodbye hug, before walking with Jason, who lightly tousled your hair.

“I better get going too,” Steve announced. “I gotta pick up Robin.”

Steve lightly patted your shoulder, before leaving with the couple, while Eddie wheeled you back to your room. “Okay,” Eddie said, as he walked backwards, entering your room. “Do you need me to get one of the nurses to help you get on the bed?” He asked, as he wheeled you closer to your bed.

“I think I’m okay,” you replied, as you slowly got up from the wheelchair and moved carefully to the bed, and got in it.

As soon as you settled, Eddie moved the wheelchair near the wall, before announcing, “I better get going.” He went up the door, as he continued to speak, while reaching for the doorknob , “I’ll see you around, maybe-“

“Eddie?” You interjected, causing him to stop, and turn to face you.

“Can we talk?” You asked.

A worried Eddie asked, as he approached you, “This isn’t about the boyfriend thing, is it?”

You silently looked at him when he sighed and sat down, as he began to explain, “Look, I only said that to the nurses, so I could stay with you until-“

“It’s not that,” you interjected.

Eddie furrowed his brow, as he asked, “Then, what is it?”

You took a deep breath, before telling him, “It’s about our…agreement.”

Eddie shook his head, before telling you, “I know that we agreed to keep our distance. And I didn’t intend on coming on your shift. I only went because I didn’t wanna get a fine, or else Wayn-“

“I made a mistake,” you confessed.

Eddie’s eyes widened, as he croaked, “What?”

“I thought…keeping my distance from you would help me get over you, but…after you walked out last night, I realised that…I miss you.”

A stunned Eddie gazed at you, as you continued to speak, with tears brimmed in your eyes, “And I know that I said I didn’t want to latch onto you like a lovesick puppy, and still don’t want to do that. But, you mean so much to me, as a friend, and I just-“

Suddenly, Eddie shot up from his chair. You anxiously looked up at him, feeling sure that Eddie was going to leave when he suddenly wrapped his arms around you, embracing you. “E-Eddie…?” You whispered, as you heard him quietly sob.

“I’m sorry for leaving you like that,” Eddie wept, as he held you close. “If I hadn’t come back…Jesus Christ, I wouldn’t have forgiven myself if something happened…”

“It’s okay,” you softly replied, as you returned the embrace.

Eddie quietly sobbed, while holding you tight.

“Eddie…”

“Yes sweetheart?”

“You’re squeezing me too hard.”

“Oh,” Eddie exclaimed, as he let go of you. He let out a nervous laugh, before he began to apologise. The two of you wiped your tears away, when Eddie softly spoke, “I guess I’ve missed you too much.”

You lightly chuckled as you opened your arms, when Eddie asked, “You sure?”

“As long as you don’t squeeze me to death,” you joked.

Eddie chuckled, before embracing you once more.

After the two of you had let go of each other, you both began to talk about slowly rebuilding your friendship.

Weeks later, after your reconciliation with Eddie, you and the Hellfire club, as well as Erica, were in the back of the auditorium, in the middle of a campaign. Will, who came back to Hawkins with his family including El and Hopper for the summer holidays, also joined in. You promised Eddie that after the graduation ceremony, you would join in the campaign. For the past few weeks, while rebuilding your friendship with him, Eddie had taught you how to play.

Surprisingly, you all managed to beat Eddie’s campaign, even though you had a rough start. After finishing the campaign, you all agreed to watch a movie. Eddie leaned towards you, before telling you, “Now, seeing as you’ve survived your first official campaign, you get to pick the movie.”

“As long as it’s not a chick flick,” Gareth chimed in.

You rolled your eyes, as you chuckled, when Eddie told the others, “You guys are in charge of snacks, we’ll meet you at Henderson’s after we pick up a movie.”

“Why my place?” Dustin asked.

“Because I’m the club leader, and I said so,” Eddie retorted.

“Well, as you’re club leader, why don’t you host at yours?”

Eddie was about to bark back, when you said, “Actually Eddie, I haven’t seen Wayne in a while, and I’d like to see him. So…maybe we can watch the movie at yours instead?”

Unable to resist your puppy eyes, Eddie raised his hands, replying, “Okay, fine. We’ll watch at my place. But I should warn you, the maid took the week off again.”

After Eddie told them what snacks to get, some of the members left backstage, while you, Will and Dustin helped clean up. Eddie was putting away his D&D set, as he was having a discussion with Will about the next campaigns. After filling up a bin bag, Will told you that he was going to find a trash can, when Dustin said, “I’ll go with you, I gotta call Steve anyway.”

As they were leaving, Dustin asked you what movie you wanted Steve to reserve for you. “Planet of the Apes,” you called out.

After the younger boys left, you were putting the chairs away, as Eddie continued to put away his set when you knocked over a paper bag. You knelt down and picked it up, while Eddie paused with packing and turned his head to look at you when he noticed you holding the bag. “Oh shit,” he exclaimed, as he snatched it from you.

“Don’t worry, I wasn’t going to open it,” you assured him. “I swear.”

As Eddie held the bag close to his chest, you asked, “So, whose it from?”

“Huh?” He exclaimed.

“Well I didn’t see anyone give it to you at graduation, and it must be something so important that you wouldn’t want me to look.”

Eddie sighed, before telling you, “The guys will kill me for giving it to you now, but…”

He handed the bag to you, as he continued to speak, “I can’t wait any longer for you to see.”

You giggled, as you carefully opened the bag, and took out a Hellfire shirt.

You gasped, as Eddie moved closer to you, telling you, “I figured that now you know how to play, you’ll need the gear.”

“Really?” You smiled, as you gazed at the shirt, before looking up at him, as you thanked him.

“You’re welcome, sweetheart,” Eddie replied, as you neatly put the shirt back in the bag. “Listen, when I give you the shirt in front of the guys, could you act surprised?”

“Like this?” You asked, before letting out a dramatic gasp.

Eddie chuckled, as he helped finish tying the bag and placed it on the table.

“Thank you, Eddie,” you said, as you wrapped your arms around his neck and embraced him. “It’s one of the best gifts I’ve ever gotten.”

Eddie chuckled, as he held you close. You then moved back as you let go of him when all of the sudden, Eddie crashed his lips into yours. You froze, feeling confused by his action. However, you gave in, mewling as you kissed him back when you felt him stumbling back. You opened your eyes, as you heard him gasping, as covering his mouth with both hands. “E-Eddie…?” Your voice cracked.

“I-I have n-no idea why…?” Eddie tried to explain his actions when you both heard Dustin and Will talking, as they entered the room. “Bad news, someone else has rented the last copy of Planet of the Apes, so it’ll just have to be either-“ Dustin stopped talking, as he and Will looked at the pair of you. Sensing some tension between you two, Dustin asked, “What’s going on?”

Before either of you could say something, Dustin pointed at the bag, and asked, “Did you peek?”

“Peek at what?” You denied. Dustin gave you a suspicious glance, before Eddie quickly asked, wanting to divert attention from you, “So, what’s Harrington reserved?”

After picking up the video Steve reserved for you, which was Back To The Future, the four of you drove to the trailer park. While Will and Dustin were sitting in the backseat, catching up, you and Eddie sat in silence, which made Dustin suspicious.

“Okay, what’s going on with you two?” Dustin asked, as he poked his head between you two.

You turned your head and asked, “What?”

“Ever since we came back, you two have been acting weird. You haven’t falling out again, have you?”

Both you and Eddie denied falling out, before Eddie pushed Dustin’s head back, as he said, “Now are you done with the interrogation, Columbo? I need to focus on the road.”

Dustin huffed, as he sat back in his seat. While Eddie was driving, he looked over at you, as he thought, Why did I kiss her? I’ve never been attracted to her. But, that kiss-

“Hey!” Eddie’s thoughts broke, as he heard Dustin yell. “Eyes on the road!”

A few moments later, Eddie drove through the trailer park and parked his van outside his place.

As you all got out, Wayne was coming out of the trailer, as he greeted you all.

“I’ve let your friends in,” Wayne said, as he got in his pickup truck. “Whatever you have planned tonight, be sure to clean up.”

“I thought you had the night off tonight,” Eddie replied.

“I do. Cain called and asked if I wanted to come over. I’m sure that he wanted Mary out of the house so she can go to the graduation party with Jason.”

After Wayne said goodbye, he drove off, as you waved, while Dustin, who was holding the bag, called, “See ya, Mr Munson.”

The two younger boys were walking to the trailer when Eddie came up to you. “Listen, sweetheart,” he began to speak. “About earlier-“

“Don’t worry about it, let’s just forget about it,” you quietly replied with a sad tone in your voice, before catching up with Dustin and Will. Eddie stood still and watched you walk away, figuring out how to approach you about the kiss, before catching with the others.

As you all went inside the trailer, you noticed that El and Max sitting on the sofa, chatting with Mike and Lucas. As the girls greeted you, Lucas told Eddie that they invited the girls over to watch the movie. Before Eddie could say anything, Dustin began to announce, “Before we watch the movie, we want-“

Suddenly, Eddie took the bag from him. “Hey!” Dustin exclaimed, “I haven’t finished.”

Eddie glared at him, as he retorted, “I’m still club leader and Dungeon Master, so I’ll make the announcement.”

“Okay, no need to act like a child,” Dustin mumbled.

“I heard that, butthead,” Eddie retorted, making Erica let out a stifling laugh.

Eddie turned to you, and said, as he smiled, “On behalf of Hellfire, I present you with this gift.”

Eddie handed over the bag to you, before you opened it. You pretended to be shocked, as you lifted the Hellfire shirt up, “Holy shit!” You exclaimed. “Thank you so much guys.”

As everyone clapped, Dustin leaned towards Will, as he whispered, “She’s definitely seen it already.”

After everyone congratulated you, Eddie suddenly announced, “Oh, and another thing. The band and I will be in California next month for an audition for a record company, so we won’t be attending Hellfire during that time.”

While everyone else cheered and clapped, you quietly clapped. You had no idea that the band was going away. Not once did Eddie mention it to you when the two of you had been spending time together. While Eddie padded towards the television, everyone else started sitting down when you plopped yourself down next to Max on the sofa. Eddie had inserted the tape into the VCR, and went to sit next to you when he saw that Dustin had commandeered the seat.

Eddie was about to make Dustin move when he looked at you, noticing that you were avoiding his gaze. Eddie sighed, before sitting on his uncle’s armchair, as the film started to play.

You were snacking on the popcorn while the film was showing the prom fight scene. While you and everyone else cheered for George McFly, Eddie sat silently with his hand resting on his cheek, unable to focus on the movie. All through the film, he kept looking at you, as he still thought about the kiss. He still didn’t understand what came over him. Not once, had he ever thought of you as more than an friend.

I just don’t get it, he thought to himself. I don’t know why I kissed her. Not gonna lie though, I kinda liked it.

He then remembered what Mary told him that night at the Hideout, about why you hid your crush on him, and how things would be awkward with him being your dealer if you had got together and broke up.

I’m no longer her dealer, he thought, as he continued to look at you. And we’re both single. So, maybe if she wants to-

He snapped himself out of his thoughts when he heard Gareth asked him, “Eddie, man. Why aren’t you watching?”

“Huh?” Eddie exclaimed, as he noticed that everyone, including you, were staring at him. He was quiet for a moment, before he suddenly stood up, as he mumbled, “I’m going for a smoke.”

Eddie walked past the counter, grabbing his packet of Camel’s, before heading out into the porch. You heard Jeff ask Gareth, “What’s up with him?”

You looked over at the door, wondering if Eddie was okay. You knew that you told him to forget about earlier, but you decided to check on him. So, you got up and made an excuse that you were going to the bathroom. You approached the bathroom door, as you checked that no one was watching you, before heading out to the porch, where you saw a spaced out Eddie, frantically smoking his cigarette, unaware that you were standing behind him. “Penny for your thoughts?” You asked, startling Eddie.

“Jesus Christ…” he groaned. “You could’ve given me a heart attack.”

You sat down on the old sofa, as Eddie continued to puff. “I thought you were watching the movie,” Eddie said. “You’re gonna miss the prom scene. I know that’s your favourite part.”

You giggled, surprised that Eddie remembered your favourite scene, before replying, “I’ve seen it like a gazillion times. I just wanted to check on you.”

You watched Eddie silently smoking, as you asked, “Is this about earlier? The kiss?”

Eddie stopped taking a puff, unsure what to say to you.

You sighed, before telling him, “Eddie, it’s okay.”

Eddie took notice of the sad tone in your voice, as he stubbed out his cigarette on the ashtray, when you continued to say, “I know that you didn’t mean it, and I’m sure that you want to forget that it ever happ-“

“I don’t” Eddie interjected, making you furrow your brow. “Look, I don’t know what came over me. I never once thought of you as more than a friend…”

“No, I get it,” you retorted, getting teary eyed, as you got to your feet and went back inside. Realising what he just said, Eddie got up and grabbed you, pulling you into his bedroom, making you yelp, before he shut the door. Fortunately, the others were so engrossed with the movie that they didn’t hear you two.

“What are you doing?” You asked in a hushed tone. “You can’t just-“

Before you could get another word out, Eddie cupped your face and passionately kissed you.

You heard Eddie moan, as he deepened the kiss.

To his surprise, you pushed him away. Eddie mumbled your name, as you slid down against the door, feeling confused.

He called your name once again, when you asked, “Why?”

Eddie furrowed his brow, as you asked, with tears brimming in your eyes, “Why did you…? You just said that you never thought of me as-“

“I know what I said,” Eddie interjected, as he squatted down in front of you. “But what I was trying to say was…I never thought of you like that, but after I kissed you, I couldn’t help but think that-“

You shook your head, as you interrupted.“Please don’t do this.”

“Do what?” Eddie asked.

“Make out that you suddenly have feelings for me-“

“What if I do?”

You glanced at him, as he sat on the floor, with his legs crossed, before he asked, “What if I do have feelings for you?”

“Eddie…” you mumbled, as you frantically shook your head. “We can’t-“

“What?” Eddie asked.

“We can’t be…” you quietly sobbed, as he crawled towards you and sat next to you.

“I don’t get it,” Eddie softly spoke. “I thought that you like me.”

“I do, it’s just…We’ve only just become friends again. And you’ve broken up with Chrissy not so long ago.”

Eddie sighed, before he asked, “Is it just because you don’t want to be a rebound? Are you worried about things getting awkward between us if we did break up while I was still your dealer?”

You continued to quietly cry when he asked, “Or are you worried that I’ll become an asshole again and neglect everything and everyone?”

You sniffled, when Eddie sighed before he said, “Look, sweetheart…” You felt him wrapping his arm around you as he explained, “That won’t happen. For one, I’m not dealing now. I promised Wayne that I won’t do it anymore.”

You stared at him in disbelief when Eddie confessed, “Also…I’m over Chrissy. And besides, I don’t want to go back to being that guy again.” You sniffled, as Eddie wiped your tears away, before you asked, “What about the band though? You’re going to California soon, and even if we did get together, it probably wouldn’t work out-“

“We’re just going a week,” Eddie interjected. “And it’s just to audition, we’re not moving there. Jesus, if Gareth’s mom thought that we were moving there, she wouldn’t let Gareth stay in the band unless he graduates.”

You gazed at him, as you blurted, “I didn’t know that you guys were even going.”

“Well I wanted to tell you straight away, but the guys wanted it to be surprise.”

Eddie started stroking your hair, as he continued to speak, “Look, I can see that you don’t want to jump into a relationship right now. Like you said, we’ve only just become friends again, so…I can wait.”

“Really?” You whispered.

“For as long as you need, sweetheart.”

You smiled, as you thanked him. Eddie leaned towards you and kissed the top of your head.

He then got to his feet, and pulled you up, before telling you, “We better get back, before the others wonder where we’ve got to.”

You nodded, as Eddie opened the door, and to your surprise, the most of the boys fell forward as they yelped, while the girls, Lucas and Will stood behind them.

As they got to their feet, letting out groans, you asked, “Have you been spying to us?”

“I told them not to do it,” Max told you.

Eddie was about to scowl at them when he noticed that the three older boys were sniffling. “Are you guys…crying?” He asked.

They denied it, claiming that dust was in their eyes. You giggled, as you and Eddie stepped out of his room.

Next

[altschmerzes]

for those of you playing along at home, i made it through the funeral/memorial/whatever. honestly could’ve been worse.

this is long and probably tmi but im processing out loud ig. probably should just keep a journal instead but here we are.

yesterday sucked ass mostly because like. at some point in the last two years since i started law school/moved to canada my father sent me some package at my grandmother’s house. yes this is after i made it very clear i did not want to see or hear from him. years after i made that clear. he did this fairly regularly - tried to give me things or pass messages through my sister or my mother or grandmother. anyway she asked if i wanted it, i was like. uh. No. and i guess she kept it for Some Reason because when i was very briefly at her house before heading to where the memorial happened today she pointed me at a pile of my things she wanted me to look at and there was a package. and on autopilot or something because ive been completely f r i e d out of my gourd this weekend i made the mistake i havent made in YEARS and opened it.

and i gotta say if i were going to ignore my daughter’s very clearly communicated boundaries and attempt to get in touch with her after she made it extremely clear she did not want me to do that SIX YEARS AGO at the time my go-to method of somehow persuading her to drop her decision to go no-contact wouldn’t involve [checks notes] a pearl necklace and a three-plus page letter about how nothing was ever my fault.

threeeeeee and then some pages of self-pitying guilt trip about how everyone turned their backs on him and other people kept us apart (as if that was the problem, the years of his absence rather than the years of his abuse) and how he knows the alcohol was bad but he’s off it now! he’s had such a hard life! i should stop punishing myself and other people! he won’t be around forever! (ISNT THAT IRONIC. LMAO.) after finishing this letter he TWICE decided he needed to add extra bits about how things don’t have to be like this, they can be better, and how im making “uninformed decisions” about him without knowing “the whole story.”

yikes.

anyways. that sucked and fucked me up real bad but my fiancé and i burned it last night on the beach and i threw the pearls (pearls? really? PEARLS?????) into the pacific.

then today. it was honestly fine. none of his friends seemed to even know i refused to speak to him, as they talked to me like they were assuming i was around all the time and super involved in his life. not sure what to make of that but it made it very easy to smile and nod and thank them for coming and not worry about anything further than that. he knew some cool people honestly. they were pretty neat, and his partner of 11 years, effectively my stepmom, is kind of awesome tbh. no idea what she was doing with him. and also my sister only yelled at me in front of some 50+ people once. for my sister this was a win.

and my brother came.

that was….. shocking. i had been in contact with his mom on and off about this but it was NOT clear at all if he was gonna show up. i figured not, honestly, because he’s so hard to get ahold of and none of us have seen him since 2016. but he came. and he brought his kids. my nephew is going into fifth grade and my niece is starting second and oh my gd they’re great. they’re adorable and funny and such sweet kids and i hand to gd thought id never see them again. now it looks like they’re going to come to my wedding reception when we have one out here so my family can attend something. it’s…. i didnt think id ever see or speak to him again and definitely not the kids. but there they were. i stood next to my brother with his arm around my shoulders and mine around his waist while my mom gave a little speech to everyone who was there thanking them for coming and felt him breathing and couldn’t believe it was real. i dug around in the sand with my niece and my nephew must have hugged me about a half-dozen times. they’re good, sweet kids and my brother is a kind, patient father.

tomorrow’s gonna suck, taking a redeye home, gonna land at like 5 am tuesday and then have to cross my fingers and hope border control is chill with me, this whole situation has been a complete nightmare (except for my wife being there, thank gd) but today was as good as it possibly could’ve been. it’s probably gonna take me a while to really like….. even out from this, i think, but it’s almost over and then i get to live the rest of my life without worrying about ever seeing that man again.

what he did to me is going to follow me the rest of my life but HE won’t because he’s fucking dead and im alive and that means i won.

[transcredwaters]

If it’s ok, can I ask you to tell me a bit more about Miz? Anything you want to share! :D

Have a great day/night!

Wah you have opened the floodgates ! I love rambling about my catboy

Let me put it under a cut there's so so much i wanted to say . And i hope you have a good day/night as well !

I guess I haven't said a whole lot about him pre-1.0 because a lot of his childhood was spent in fallgourd and the surrounding forest area, though in early years his wandering was heavily monitored. He was a very frail child, so much so that i once said "a feather could break his leg." of course he didn't understand, nor did he understand why it made his father O'naruho so upset. (Naruho was so wrought with anxiety over losing Miz it ended up messing with his mental state, he didn't want to lose his boy)

He was good friends with Kanifoix (another oc) growing up too, and countless entries talk of their adventures, sometimes including another childhood friend, Hardin. Small things like going to see a knotted tree and just hanging out or a brief misadventure involving that one area outside fallgourd that leads to the Coerthas. I can't remember the name because I've been avoiding it ever since the lancer 30 quest but . Nods . Miz was forbidden to go there after an angry wailer nearly lanced him. He was about 14 summers old then .

But nods sagely . I know not if I've made it obvious yet but he cares v e r y strongly about his family and friends. He's especially protective of his little brother Cherie'li - though he doesn't mention until around stormblood that he blamed himself for their mother's death . Cherie died in childbirth, but in Miz's journal you can see that - especially when his family wasn't telling him what was happening - he was asking what he did wrong . And even when told flat out that she died in a way that was out of everyone's control, he still blamed himself. He also swore to protect Cherie'li when the baby grabbed his finger. (Cherie'li is about 18 summers as of endwalker)

There's also his daughter - sweet summer child O'dhael. he started adventuring with his siblings Oh'dax (who had become a nunh of his own tribe, hence the oh instead of an o) and Shele not long after she turned 1, so he'd be carrying her in one of those Dad Baby Carriers alongside his siblings. (Dhael's mother was not a very good woman, unfortunately, and was not present most of her life. Miz was also together with her before he found out he was gay). But anyways, she was well loved by her father, uncle and aunt. Miz liked to spoil her with affection, and her laugh could warm even the coldest heart- according to Miz, at least.

Of course, right before the calamity struck, Miz and his siblings were attacked. (Dhael and Cherie'li were safe with Naruho back home.) Miz was determined to save the others despite the fact that the area was fast filling with smoke, completely concealing his vision . He lanced down two attackers, but his siblings were also brought down by his blind attacking, and so . He flees . Drops his lance and runs .

I've been told he could have made a better decision . but really all he could do was go back and get immediately thrown to the jails to rot, or run back and flee with his family, uprooting them and forcing them to live a life in exile and live a life of fear of capture . Miz was terrified of both routes, and did what he thought would help best for the time being until his family was able to actually leave peacefully. He returns by 2.0 of course and - while Cherie'li is bitter for a while - they try their best to help mend while training as a conjurer. (and, while bitter, Cherie'li was convinced O'miz died, so he's also glad that isn't the case.)

TBH it's where his need to keep everyone safe comes from, and why he believes himself a failure of a healer or tank if someone gets hurt . He's lost enough . He's tired of losing people and being powerless and unable to save them . He's Frankly a little reckless because of it.

But, to him, if his leaping into danger kept his loved ones safe, that's good enough for him, and if will stubbornly stay by that. His injuries ? He'll downplay them. Call it nothing as he bleeds . Doesn't matter to him, the others are safe.

But please somebody get him some mental help so he doesn't collapse in a room alone and just start sobbing. the pain of everything obviously gets him bad, little dude just bottles his emotions.

[mull3ts]

[ 𝐓𝐨𝐨 𝐌𝐚𝐧𝐲; 𝐓𝐨𝐨 𝐌𝐚𝐧𝐲 ]

⚠︎ 𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 | Smut, Dilf! Aged Up! Stepfather! Johnny, Daddy Kink, Fingering, Name Calling, Squirting, Finger Sucking, Dacryphillia, Hair Pulling, Face Fucking

After Johnny had dropped off your mother at the airport, he went straight to the shower without bothering to go and find you in his house that was far too big for him. Besides, you we're probably sleeping.

So now there he sat on the couch. Shirtless, grey sweatpants, his damp dark hair, coffee, thinking about his life decisions, imagining various scenarios of whatnot in his head—a typical Johnny thing. His house was silent. Dead silent. He preferred it this way at this time, it was nice without his wife going on and on, talking on the phone where he couldn't sit around shirtless without having someone getting a little too...wild in his oh-so humble opinion. He mentally cringed at the thought of that, he wasn't sure why he felt that way about that. Shaking his head a little at that thought his mind wandered to—“Oh hey”

You. His mind wandered to you. Perhaps his favourite person in the world.

Minus his son. Donghyuck was his favourite, he thinks...Johnny is actually unsure. Eh, it didn't matter. Johnny isn't a fan of favouritism.

“Hi” you chirped back, standing in front of where he sat, looking down at him. He was thankful that you didn't question his lack of clothes, nor were you phased by it.

Oh no he was very wrong—you were phased by it but maybe not visibly as you screamed on the inside.

You took a seat next to him on the couch and, gosh whatever he showered with—you wanted it. Mr. Seo snuck his arm around your shoulders as he sipped on his coffee prior to setting it down on the coffee table beside him. He tapped his fingers on your arm (his mind engrossed in you) until you spoke up after staring at his thigh. “Thinking?” you questioned, finally looking up. He hummed, meeting you eyes. “Yeah.”

“About what?” You questioned again, wanting one of those really deep dad conversations. But Mr. Seo was no father to you.

“You.”

For a moment you thought he was joking until you looked at his expression on seriousness. You suddenly wish you had worn some sort of pants, or at least a bra for heaven's sake. Or maybe a different shirt, the one you currently wore was Mr. Seo's.

The both of you stared at each other, it was a stare filled with tension that an observer would immediately look away from knowing how intimate the scene in front of them is. Inching closer to him, you took one good look at him and felt like you died and went to heaven. Pressing your lips onto his, your hands sat on his thighs as you crawled on top on him with the fabric of your panties slightly brushing against his significantly toned abdomen causing a part of Mr. Seo to die inside. The arm that was once wrapped around your shoulders found your waist as your hands found his jawline, deepening the kiss. You pulled away first, your pretty lips forming a grin that Mr. Seo mirrored. “You kiss me too much” You teased, pouting as you wrapped your arms around his neck. “Hm, funny. I think I kiss you too little.” Mr. Seo teased back, connecting your lips once more.

Wanting more, you held his wrist in your hand and guided it to your ass hoping he'd do something. Mr. Seo understood immediately, lacing his finger in the waistband of your pantie and pulled it down until it reached your knee. Mr. Seo pulled away, bringing his attention to removing your underwear and throwing it on the couch across from the both of you. He turned you around on his lap enabling you to lean on his chest as he spread your legs and ran a finger up your dampening hole. He tsked, “Getting wet from kissing, hm?” You felt heat rush to your face. “Awe, my pathetic little angel” he cooed, “It's the little things that count, right?” You felt him slowly push in his middle and ring finger, “R-right.”

Suddenly, he pushed the rest of his fingers in, moving in and out of you so well. The way he made them curl when they hit your g-spot made you wriggle in his hold. “It's the little things that count until it's my cock, baby, so Daddy's gonna have to make sure your little hole is prepared and ready for him m'kay?”

God his words made you melt—you nodded.

A throaty moan left your mouth as you struggled to make Mr. Seo's dick fit. The stretch that you felt was pleasing, but almost unbearable as your eyes began to water while you held onto his shoulders and slowly sank down on his dick. You were only halfway down when Mr. Seo bucked his hips up causing you to cry out, the sound was music to his ears. “There you go, c'mon baby you can do it. Take Daddy's cock” he encouraged before bucking his hips up, his impressive size making your walls clench around him. You whimpered with every thrust he gave, he felt his cock twitch inside you causing his thrusts to get rougher and rougher.

Your legs were shaking, your hair clinging to your forehead, and your chest heaved up and down as you squirted on Mr. Seo's hand and arm. "I-I'm gonna-" your slurred words were replaced by a loud cry when it happened so suddenly to you.

“Thaaat's it, good girl, good girl.” he said comfortingly, watching you with a small grin on his face while you calmed down from your high and he pulled out his fingers sticking them in your mouth. You swirled your tongue around his digits causing him to sharply inhale. When he pulled his fingers out, he glanced at them. “My baby will do anything for my cock, won't she?” Biting your bottom lip, you grinned, nodding. Mr. Seo grabbed your body and positioned you to straddle him. He pulled down his sweatpants and boxers to pull his length out and of course, it was impressive with all of the veins and his pre-cum leaking from the tip. “If my baby can take my fingers, she can take my cock too, hm?” You gulped, your voice shaky “Y-yeah.” Mr. Seo raised his eyebrows in question, “Yeah?”

“D-Daddy!” you whined, hiccuping on your words “S-slow...s-slow down p-please”. When Mr. Seo looked up at you, you looked so pretty, you looked so fucked out that he swore he could've came right then and there. “Hmm, why would I do that? T-That's no fun now is it?” You mewled in response. He was right, it would be no fun. All of a sudden, your eyes met his. You had immediately looked down but not quick enough for him to see exactly how much you'd been crying. Looking at your watery eyes, Mr. Seo couldn't help but fuck you just a little harder. It was just hot. He couldn't understand why but he thought you still looked like the prettiest person he'd ever seen when you cried.

“Look at you” he groaned, his hand flying to pull on your hardened nipple earning a high pitched whine from you. Mr. Seo chuckled, “Such a messy little baby.” An amused expression graced his features when he felt your walls tighten around him, “Awe, is someone gonna cum?” You bobbed your head up and down, agreeing. But in the back of your mind you questioned how on earth could he sense that? The knot was forming in your tummy and it felt closer and closer to exploding the more Mr. Seo fucked you. “Y-yes! P-please Daddy...p-pretty please...h-harder!” you whined, stumbling on your words as you spoke. Mr. Seo easily complied, slamming his hips up until your wetness oozed onto his sweatpants and a broken cry rang throughout the room. “Good girl, Daddy's g-got you” Mr. Seo said breathlessly before cumming inside you, hissing between his teeth as he threw his head back, catching his breath .

The next thing Johnny knew was that you were asleep in his arms and had three missed calls from your mother. He pulled his shirt that you wore over your head and carried you to your room. Once you laid there he was about to leave to call your mother back until he heard a sleepy voice from behind him, “Daddy?” He turned around while humming in acknowledgement.

You felt yourself get shy at the request you wanted to make, “I- C-can you sleep with me?” Mr. Seo blinked twice not sure if he heard that correctly, it was as if a key board smash was going through his head, “Sure.” He walked to the other side of your bed and made himself comfortable. Without thinking twice, his arm snaked around your waist, pulling you closer to him. “Good night, baby” he said softly and kissed your cheek, making a mental note to call your mother the next morning.

When you woke up, a large arm was wrapped around your body. In an attempt to move over, you thought about how easy the arm was to move but soon realized who's arm that was. Mr. Seo's. Your mind replayed the events of last night while you looked at the same man who peacefully slept in your bed. You looked around for your phone to check the time only to discover it was atop your nightstand that was on the opposite side of you. Reaching over to grab it, your hand landed on what felt like Mr. Seo's dick.

Whoops.

Thankfully he didn't seem to notice, however, a bright idea arrived into your mind. Carefully, you slid down his sweatpants and boxers to pull out his surprisingly hard dick. You spread his pre-cum around the tip before giving his dick little kitten licks making him begin to stir in his sleep. His reaction amused you, so you took the tip completely in your mouth, swirling your tongue around and around his tip, reaching your head farther down tracing his veins with your tongue. Feeling wetness pool in your panties, your dominant hand reached into your underwear, rubbing circles on your clit causing you to whimper around Mr. Seo's cock.

Eventually, you decided to try and take as much of his dick in your mouth. Whatever you did while you tried certainly woke him up, because the next thing you saw was Mr. Seo's eyes, wide awake. His gaze burned into your eyes as you continued what you were doing until he grabbed a fistful of your hair and shoved your head down his length, ignoring your choking sounds. He breathily chuckled, “Waking me up by sucking my dick? Creative now are we?” Groaning out a string of curses, you felt a warm thick liquid ooze into your mouth. Pulling you off his dick he grinned tauntingly, “Swallow.”

Mr. Seo might've been the death of you.

It was now midday as you looked everywhere for your phone. Everywhere except where he was. Stepping into the kitchen you saw Mr. Seo leaning against a counter while waiting for lunch to cook scrolling through a phone. “Hey Dad have you seen my-”

“Delete all the numbers except mine” he said winking. “It'll be like a new beginning.”

“Phone?” He questioned, you nodded. His lips formed into a thin smile, “It's right here” he said playfully, raising your phone up in the air as if you could reach it. You jumped up and up, trying to reach it when finally he gave in, handing you your phone. “You've got too many numbers in your phone, in my opinion you should just delete em'” He said teasingly. Your eyes grew wide, “You went through my phone?”

Mr. Seo nodded with a big fat smile.

“There's no way I'm gonna do that” You replied, laughing a little.

Mr. Seo shrugged his shoulders as he checked on the food, “Just a suggestion.”

𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓 | @jaesspresso @chicagosbigboi @neofucker420 @dieharddoyoungsquishy @krispysun @yerimezzy @strangeduckvoid @morklee02 @phe2004 @hikaru-lana @k407 @3ranch @softieekayy @doieclayed @steamyjaehyun @p3achyjae @marksassybanana @nakamotocore @aslutformen @whlplazh @hyuckswifey @sunshinedhyuck @spear-bitch

[sunnysviolin]

Oh god that. That shattered AU broke me. Kel angst is my new horrible addiction and I swear I. I need to know... wtf happens with him and Hero. I can see so vividly Hero trying to keep the last semblance of his old brother back but it just fails every time, literally the only reason Hero is trying to continue on is because he doesn't want to leave Kel behind, that he made a promise and he was going to stick to it. So I must ask... does Kel kill himself as well? Or even accidentally? My heart h u r t s pardner..... sad yeehaw

Welllll we know the answer to the last part of that ask, but I do want to continue this series, so I’m gonna use the one ask that I have about it. Before anything I will say like I always do with Shattered AU that this is a dark AU. There is no happy endings, and pay attention to the TWs. 

TW: Suicide, TW: Depression, TW: Major Character Death, TW: Rage, TW: Grief

Dear Hero, 

No one else wrote a letter, but I couldn’t do that to you. I know that you spent so much time wondering if you could have done anything different for everyone else. I want you to know you couldn’t have done anything different for me

Hero had begged his parents to be allowed to stay. He had begged and pleaded to take the semester off. It was just one semester, he was still going to graduate early at this rate, why couldn’t he just stay? Hero knew Kel needed him. Kel might not be opening up, but being with Hero seemed to be comforting for his little brother at the very least. Hero knew that if he had more time, he could crack through Kel’s shell and try to start healing what was inside.

I remember when Mari died. You were so tired and upset. I didn’t get it then, but I do now. I know that when you get tired like this it’s hard to do anything. It’s hard to breathe, it’s hard to think, it’s just all so hard. I probably didn’t make it any easier by pretending everything was fine. I understand why you snapped at me. 

Hero’s parents had practically thrown him onto the train. They reassured him over and over that they could take care of Kel. They would keep an eye on him, they would make sure he took his meds, and ate, and got to school on time. They said this all while rolling their eyes and giving him good natured sighs. They both acted like this was something they were used to, but Hero knew this was different. When this had happened to him, they had left him to find his own way back. He wouldn’t let that happen to Kel, mostly because Hero wasn’t sure Kel would find his way back. 

Right before you left for school you told me you always felt guilty for not coming back that night. I want you to know that even if you had, I would still be doing this.  

They had forced Hero back to school, but it didn’t matter. Hero couldn’t think about school at all. All he could think about was how to help Kel. He ignored his classes in favor of reading about recovering after loss, he didn’t bother to study anything except what might help him get through to his brother. There wasn’t anything more important than Kel right now, and if he was being completely honest, there was a part of Hero that was spitefully going to fail the semester just to prove to his parents how wrong they were. Above all, Hero called Kel every single night. Their phone calls last year had been frequent, but short. Usually just a quick fifteen minute chat updating each other on their days. Now their phone calls lasted hours and hours, and mostly consisted of Hero rambling on while Kel hummed and made one word answers. It wasn’t perfect, but it was important. 

You were why I didn’t do this yet, even though it’s been on my mind for years. First Mari, then Basil, then Sunny. How could I ever do that to you, when I knew what it felt like to be in your shoes? You were trying so hard to help me, you’re still trying so hard. You call and you call and you always want to listen. I’m sorry I don’t want to talk. 

For the first time, Kel didn’t pick up the phone. His parents said Kel was sleeping, and they could talk tomorrow. Hero’s stomach dropped, and his mind went fuzzy. He needed to be there, he needed to see Kel. If he couldn’t hear Kel’s voice, then he needed to see his little brother to know he was still alive. He must’ve said the last part out loud, because his mother was adamant that he stay at school. She was so sure that both of her sons needed to get back to their normal routines, that the way to get things to normal was to force them to be that way. Hero knew better. He knew Kel needed him. He hung up on his parents, pacing back and forth with shaking hands. He didn’t know what to do. It was too late for a train, and he didn’t have a car. Hero just didn’t know what to do. 

I know you’re trying, and I hope you know I was trying too. I really was, I promise. It’s just...it’s too much. It’s all too much I’m just done. I’m done trying, and I’m done waiting for things to get better when I know they won’t. I don’t see the point anymore. I’m going to die regardless, so why should I go through fifty more years of feeling like this, only to get to the same end? 

Hero grabbed his shoes, running out of the dorm room and across campus to his friend’s midnight study group. They had started doing this for their organic chemistry class in their first year and then kept it up because midnight was the only time that the library truly was quiet enough to get work done. He hadn’t joined them in weeks, and he wasn’t sure they would even consider him a friend anymore, but Hero needed their help. One look at his wild desperate eyes and his pleas, and Tristan was grabbing his keys and handing them to Hero. It was an eight hour car ride, nine and a half because he hit traffic. It was nine in the morning when Hero got home and found the letter on his bed. When they found Kel, the police told him and his parents that Kel had most likely died early that morning, around 7:30 or 8:00. Hero was sure if he had just been an hour faster in making his decision to come home, then Kel might still be here. 

I know it’s going to hurt you, I know that I’m being selfish, but like I said. It’s just too much now. I don’t know if I believe in God or anything. I don’t know what kind of God makes everything that happened to us happen, but if there is a God out there, I hope he lets us all be together when this is all over. We can go for a picnic by the pond like we used to. That’s where I’m going now. That seems like a good place.

He waited until the police left to speak to his parents. He didn’t even mean to start fighting with them, but there was no way he couldn’t. He had started off just talking, trying to ask them why they hadn’t listened to him when he had known. They refused to hold themselves accountable. That’s why he had ended up in a screaming match with his mother. That had to be why rage was boiling in his veins and clouding his thoughts. Hero had begged them to let him stay. Hero had told them Kel needed him. They hadn’t listened, and now his brother was dead. His brother, the love of his life, his friends, all of them gone. Kel was all he had left, and they had taken him away. 

I did love you. I did. I promise I did. This doesn’t mean I didn’t love you.

Hero took the letter and the keys to Tristan’s car. He didn’t need to stay, and he didn’t want to. He didn’t care that his mother was wailing about losing her boy, he didn’t care that his father was trying to get him to come sit and be with them. He just didn’t care. The only person he had left to care about was gone, because Hero hadn’t been there. He wasn’t going to go to another funeral, he wasn’t going to see them lower his little brother into the ground. He wasn’t going to continue the endless loop of torture that his life seemed to have on repeat. 

I’m sorry, Hero. I hope you can forgive me. Maybe this is for the best. Now you don’t have to worry about me anymore.

Hero walked down his driveway to his borrowed car, ignoring his parent’s calling behind him. There, right where the pavement met the road, was Aubrey. Her hair was messy all around her, her eyes bloodshot. The police had told him she was there when they arrived. They had questioned her, but after reading Kel’s note, they were sure she hadn’t been involved. Hero could have told them that himself, but it seemed no one believed that he knew anything. Maybe they were right. She asked him if he was leaving. She asked if he was coming back. His silence was response enough. She walked away before he could say anything, and that was good. Hero didn’t have anything to say anymore. 

Maybe I’ll see you again. 

There was really only one road out of Faraway these days. The construction around town left all the exits blocked off. Hero had memoized the route to and from his college almost a year ago, just to be safe. He had to take the third right to get on the highway. Hero drove past the third right. If he missed the third right, he could take the next left and turn around. He ignored the left. Hero drove straight until he couldn’t drive straight anymore, and then on a whim he took the right turn. He wasn’t sure where he was going exactly, but it didn’t matter. None of it mattered anymore. 

[thatmultifandomhoe]

Otherworldly Lovin’

Pairing: Alien Taehyung and Human Reader

Word Count: 6,319

Genre/Rating: NSFW - Alien AU - Friends to Lovers AU - Smut - PWP - Fluff - Rated R

Overview: Not only did he crash land into your yard, but he also crashed right into your heart...among other places.

Warning: oh boy. Alien sex - masturbation - tentacles - light bondage(?) - throat fucking - breast and nipple play - oral sex (fem and tentacle receiving) - Taehyung has the ability to extend his tongue - size kink - Taehyung can change his dick to any size - there’s slime from said tentacles - multiple orgasms - multiple penetration - breeding kink - cream pie - tiddie fucking(it’s a tentacle mushed between boobs having the time of its life if that counts?) - unrealistic sex - hentai, it’s basically hentai - swearing - dirty talk - maybe some sub (fem) and dom (Tae) undertones if you squint - cum play - talk of pregnancy.

Main Master List:

Wish Upon a Star Collaboration Master List

Tagging: @thedarkwinterrose​​ @thatlongspringnight​ @ggukcangetit​ @ezralia-writes​ @hidinginmycupboard @ifntelyinspirit​

©thatmultifandomhoe 2021. Do not repost, translate, or use my stories without permission.

The breeze felt like chilly kisses along your skin during the late-night walk home. It had been fun to see your friends, but as the house party grew in numbers and space became limited, that was your cue to head out before there had been a visit from the men in blue to break it up.  It wasn’t Cara’s first time throwing a party that climbed into the triple digits, and despite being on a first name basis with law enforcement in regards to her wild parties, it wouldn’t be her last party.

Kicking at the gravel, you gathered up the hair off the back of your neck with both hands, leaning back your head to look up at the night sky while still walking. The stars were bright, brighter than diamonds, and not for the first time you found yourself grateful that you had made the decision to move to the outskirts of Arizona. Was it hot? Of course. Were people behind the wheel absolutely insane? Fuck yes. Was it risky living on your own, in the desert, in an area where crime was going up again? Extremely. Maybe it was childish and stupid, but between the sunsets and mother nature’s natural landscape, it was all worth it in your eyes.

By the time you reached the front door, you barely glanced at the ten-foot ditch that was only a few feet from the side of your house as you went inside. The ditch hadn’t always been there, and as you turned the three set of locks behind you, a cooling sensation wrapped around your calf to begin its ascent up your bare leg.

“How was the party?” it asked.

You raised an eyebrow, unphased with having a conversation with the green blob.

“Alright,” you said, holding out a hand for it to jump on to like it usually did. This time, it simply shook its little nub of a head. “I mean, it was nice to hang out with her and have a few drinks, but her house filled up fast.”

“And it’s not good for humans to be surrounded by so many people?”

The corner of your mouth lifted as you walked to the kitchen, feeling him climb up to your knee this time. “I mean, it can be dangerous when there are over a hundred people partying in a small house while intoxicated, a lot of people don’t care though.”

“But you care.”

“I do.”

Opening the cabinet, you pulled out a glass and went to the water cooler to fill it up, dropping in a few ice cubes for that extra chill, trying not to think about how cooling and enticing it felt to have the little alien crawling up your bare leg, nearly reaching your thigh. He was a slow mover but he got around.

It was this little green blob, no taller than a hand, who had been the one to create that lovely ditch in your yard, and had succeeded in scaring the absolute shit out of you at four in the morning when it happened. The last thing you ever expected in the world was for aliens to be real – yes, you had been one of the many who was a non-believer – but Taehyung had been the one to convert you quite quickly.

“You don’t look like an alien,” you said, watching as the green, see-through blob slid around on the kitchen table.

“And what does an alien look like?” it asked.

“A crap ton taller,” you immediately answered, rubbing your eyes to try and see just how it was able to talk, let alone have a voice. You could see the wooden chair that was behind it, and there was nothing inside of it. It was just a blob about the size of a softball, from space.

Apparently, that offended the creature, as it suddenly formed two small nubs – what you assumed to be arms, which were promptly placed on its side - and a nub on top for its head. “Excuse me, I don’t know what it’s like here, but where I come from, it’s extremely rude to point out someone’s size. And I’ll have you know; On my home planet I am quite larger than this.”

You blinked.

Maybe it was because you were still wondering if you were insane to be talking to a green blob claiming to be an alien, but a sudden pang went through your chest at having hurt the little guy. Sighing, your footsteps papped against the tile floor as you pulled out one of the chairs at the table to sit down.

“I’m sorry,” you said softly, leaning your cheek in the palm of your left hand to look at it. “You’re right, it was rude of me. Let’s start over. What’s your name?”

It stared up at you. At least, you assumed it was as it turned its body to face you. For a moment, the green blob stood there until finally taking a few steps towards you.

“Taehyung.”

These last few months had been an unforgettable experience, but it would be a lie to say that it hadn’t made life more interesting. The ship he had been flying in was a small metal contraption that could have easily been mistaken as a toy drone. At his request, you had brought it in the house that next morning, and after inspecting it, Taehyung announced it to be completely damaged, but not unfixable. Since then, there had been several times where you stumbled upon him trying to form the arms that he needed to try to patch it up himself, but the crash had forced him into his smaller form for protection, and made it impossible to expand himself the way he needed to.

Only a few days into his stay, you learned that his people – the Flubbers – were similar to that in regards to human height and features. Unlike measly humans, they were able to turn their bodies into this green blob at will, but mostly it was used as a defensive measure to protect themselves or when they were traveling in their small ships. As a result of the crash, Taehyung had trouble returning back to his regular form and with nowhere else to go, he became your new roommate.

But as he began to crawl underneath the fabric of your shorts, the coolness of his body was enticing in more ways than one. Your breath turned shaky as you hurried to reach down and remove him from your thigh.

“How was your night?” You suddenly asked, not wanting him to question why you removed him.

He tilted his body, but settled down in your palms. “I watched more of those shows on your Netflix account.”

“Which ones?”

“Black Butler.”

You gasped, narrowing your eyes at him as you carried him back to your room. “Come on, we were supposed to finish that together.”

“But you were gone, and I wanted to watch it,” Taehyung only remained still for a few more seconds before stretching out himself to begin crawling up your arm.

It was perhaps the weirdest sensation in the world, but it reminded you of the end result of making slime when you were back in college and your roommates dragged you out to the craft events put on by campus. Taehyung was sturdier, more solid, and less gooey. Okay, he wasn’t gooey at all. But as he crawled his way around your arm and shoulder, you were suddenly awfully aware of the fact that you were only wearing a skimpy black tank top with spaghetti straps, allowing him to feel every inch and curve of your body and soak in your body heat. He was naturally cool but he usually warmed up after crawling on your arm for a while.

The fact that he was crawling up to you wasn’t unusual. Tonight however, it was like he was attached to your body and trying to feel every single part of you.

“That’s not nice,” you murmured, shakily inhaling as he slid a tendril-like arm across your neck, his body slinking across your chest. You kicked off your shoes and glanced at your reflection in the full-length mirror. Cheeks flushed, throat bobbing as you swallowed, and you could see that he was forming another limb, stretching it out to wrap around your bicep.

“You said I could watch whatever I wanted. And I wanted to watch Black Butler.” Taehyung said.

In the mirror, you could see his small head glance down, his body suddenly pausing at the discovery that there was something underneath your shirt. He was an alien. Since his arrival, you made sure to get dressed in the bathroom so that he didn’t see certain things.

In addition to that, you hadn’t been entirely sure if he slept or not, so you had created a small bed for him on the floor of your bedroom out of a box you had and thrown in a bunch of soft towels to make it comfortable for him. He seemed to enjoy it since he slid to his bed every night, even tucking himself underneath some of the towels. So not only had you been sharing a room with an alien, but these last few months had been incredibly, touch starving, especially since you were single. It wasn’t like you could suddenly make yourself feel good when Taehyung was right there and would probably ask what you were doing and why.

And now…now you were feeling incredibly horny.

You watched him create another limb, only to close your eyes to feel it softly slide down your sternum, heart racing as it followed the curve of your breast, your pussy clenching around nothing. A second – or was it a third? Maybe a fourth? - limb slipped underneath the shirt to encircle your other breast, but this one was more curious, feeling the size and tightening around the boob when it suddenly ran over your nipple. You stumbled back against the foot-board of the bed until you sat on it, accidentally pressing yourself against the frame and hitting your clit, resulting in an audible gasp.

His limbs suddenly retracted at the sound and before you could stop yourself, you whined at the loss of them only to realize what you had done. He was an alien. You were a human.

“Did I hurt you?” Taehyung asked.

You shook your head, opening your eyes to remove him from where he had wrapped himself around your neck and set him on the bed. Not once did you glance at the mirror, already knowing how flustered you looked. “No, I’m fine.”

“Then what was that sound?”

Damn him for being so curious. “Don’t worry about it. Why don’t you go to bed? I’m going to get dressed.”

Before he could ask another question, you grabbed the spare bed and hurried to the bathroom, taking several deep breaths when certain that you were, in-fact, alone. Not once during these last few months had he touched you like that, and now that he had, you found yourself craving more. It reminded you too much of those hentai videos you occasional stumbled upon while on the hub, and as you hurriedly kicked off your shorts to slip your own hand underneath your panties, you softly moaned when you felt how wet your panties were.

He had created those limbs like it was nothing. Easily curling and wrapping himself around you like second nature, and as you ran your own finger over your clit to take care of yourself, you couldn’t help but imagine what he would have done had you let him crawl up your shorts like he had started to do. Taehyung typically kept himself in the shape of a blob, but you were certain that he would have no issue in filling you up completely.

You pressed yourself further against the wall, another soft moan escaping you. Eyes closed, you were so focused on getting off, that you missed how underneath the doorway, a flat green blob slid its way underneath the door. A limb shaped itself, watching your general direction like it was absorbing your reactions, only to disappear the same way it came when you were satisfied.

A few nights later, you sighed as you shifted under the blankets once again. The fan had done its job and made the bedroom chilly, but you still couldn’t fall asleep. You tried warm milk, listening to instrumental music, counting sheep. Nothing seemed to work.

“You’re not sleeping?” Taehyung asked.

You glanced at the box on the floor, seeing his towels shift as he moved around. He hadn’t spoken about what happened the other night and neither had you, and for that, you were grateful. He was a friend. The last thing you wanted to do was ruin the only friendship he had while he stayed until his ship was fixed.

“Just having a hard time,” you softly answered.

He was quiet for a moment. “Would you like to talk about it?”

A soft chuckle slipped out of your lips and you rolled over, holding a hand out over the edge. In seconds he was wrapping himself around the limb and crawling on to the empty space next to you.

“Do you miss it?” You asked, slipping an arm underneath your head. “Your home? Your friends and family must miss you a lot.”

“Parts of it,” Taehyung admitted. For being a small green blob – or a small green Flubber – he had a deep baritone voice, and when he spoke softly, there was a calming effect that washed over you. It was the type of voice that not only promised protection, but had the power to be absolutely sinful. “There’s my family and friends that I do miss, but it was a strict place. We’re not a species that was intended to survive you see. A long time ago, the very first of my kind had been created here on your planet by someone…a doctor Jacob, Philip, or Robin, someone at least made a mistake, and from that the first Flubber was born. Over the decades we’ve evolved and managed to repopulate ourselves, but even I can’t remember how we managed to leave this planet and end up on our own. Some poor Flubber had probably been somewhere he shouldn’t have been.”

He shifted and for some reason, if he had facial features right at that moment, you could imagine him lifting an eyebrow with the smallest of smirks. “That’s why our society is strict. We were a mistake yes, but we quite like being alive and would rather keep it that way Flubbers are expected to do as they’re told and I wanted to explore. To see other worlds and galaxies. Granted, crash landing in your back yard was not at all part of the plan, or ruining my ship, but things have had an unexpected way of working out. After all, I did go off in search of the unexpected.”

Gently smiling at him, you nodded in agreement, wetting your lips. “Do you think you’ll go back? Once you fix your ship and explore for a while?”

“Good question. Maybe. I’m not entirely sure. The human race is, well…you people are certainly the most complex creatures I have ever met. I could spend a century here and still be trying to understand everything.”

You rolled on to your back with a laugh, feeling him slide his way up onto your stomach, the sensation sending shivers running through your body since the night shirt rose up at some point. Glancing down, Taehyung stretched a limb out, running it along your waist.

“Humans are very complex,” Taehyung repeated, his voice turning husky as if this was affecting him as well. “Complex, but perhaps, the most fascinating of all creatures to exist.”

No words came from you. Once again, your breath was stuck as he extended his other limb and you watched it crawl its way underneath the shirt, this time rubbing itself right over the nipple. Like he had memorized your reaction to it last time. You shakily gasped again, but you didn’t stop him. You could barely think, unable to look away as his body shifted, expanding itself to a larger version of himself.

“I’ve been practicing to regain my normal form,” he said. “It’s been hard, but I believe I can finally go back and stay in it permanently again.”

The two short nubs he had for legs elongated and thickened with his body. No longer was he a small blob, but he was taking on a new shape. One that was leaner, taller than you, and for the first time, he was gaining features that individualized him. The more he changed, the less green and see through he was. Instead, it turned into a very dark green tint on sun kissed skin, with dark brown eyes delicately painted with streaks of green. Looking down at you - like you imagined - a smirk had found its way home on his face while at the same time, a thumb harshly squeezed and rubbed against your nipple again. You moaned and leaned back into the pillow, wanting him, wanting more.

“Like I said before, us Flubbers are very similar to you humans, only we have…something extra.”

“And what’s that?” You forced out; eyes closed as another moan slipped out when his hands grabbed both breasts. He didn’t need to answer though, because as he played with your chest, something wrapped around your leg. It was similar to his limbs that he normally curled along your body, just as cool and thick to the touch. The thing making its way up your thigh was nearly forgotten about when Taehyung suddenly yanked off the shirt you were wearing, not wasting a second to kiss and suck at your breasts.

Chest heaving, it was impossible to think straight. Parts of your body had chills running across them while others felt hotter than the desert. He wasn’t letting up. Once satisfied, Taehyung gave his complete attention to the other, determined to leave behind a purple and wet path of where he had been. Every now and then there was sharp pain, but he was quick to quiet your whimpers by running his tongue over the marks and leaving a sweet kiss. The thing that had been crawling along your leg was at mid-thigh when it tightened, drawing your attention to its existence when suddenly, something else was sliding inside of your shorts.

Your eyes immediately opened and when you looked down, common sense went out the window as you swallowed the saliva building up in your mouth, pussy clenching. The limbs that you were used to seeing were back. One was coming out of the middle of Taehyung’s back, another appeared to be coming from his side, and as you watched, two more were forming and extending themselves. Unlike the rest of his form, they were completely green, nearly see through.

“We call them Extenders,” Taehyung murmured as he left thick kisses on your skin. “Extra limbs to help carry items and with everyday tasks.”

He lifted his head, eyes searching yours as his eyebrow quirked at you. “But I believe the term that you’re more with, is, tentacles.”

Oh. Oh, you were absolutely fucked.

A soft whimper slipped out when the tentacle that had been sneaking its way underneath your shorts purposely rubbed hard over your underwear. Taehyung must have heard it because his grin widened, and his Extenders were moving your legs to cage him against you.

“Usually I’m not like this,” he continued. “I think my body is still adjusting to this planet but thinks I’m back home. During this time of year, this is normally our season when we mate. That’s something you humans don’t have here, do you?”

Despite how much you wanted the tentacle to slip underneath the underwear, it stayed right where it was, content with teasing you. “We do that whenever we want,” you finally answered. Your gaze met Taehyung’s just in time to see his eyes light up in curiosity.

“Really?”

An ache was growing the longer you remained empty, and if the Extender underneath your shorts continued rubbing the way it was, you weren’t going to be lasting much longer. So, without caring about the consequences, you cupped Taehyung’s face and kissed him deeply. The sudden action allowed the tentacles around your legs to loosen just enough for you to wrap them around his hips, pulling him closer to you. Something thick pressed against your pussy, much larger than the other Extenders growing out of him, made both of you groan at the sudden pressure.

“Mate me,” you breathed out in-between kisses. His form was solid like a human, and his hair was soft when you ran your fingers through the locks. “Please Taehyung, please mate with me. I’m begging you.”

For a moment, Taehyung just stared down at you. Even the tentacles that had been sliding along your body paused at your words. It only lasted for that one moment. The corner of his lips curled upwards and the green streaks in his eyes darkened before he kissed you again, pressing himself completely against you.

Taehyung’s normal form may have appeared human, and besides the tentacles that moved on their own and were currently crawling their way up your sides and arms, it seemed that he was able to extend not just them, but every part of his body. The kiss was a frenzy from the start, and when the tentacle finally slipped underneath the underwear like you wanted and began to rub your clit earnestly, butterflies swarmed as your lower belly tightened, the orgasm that had been building was now forced from you.

He abruptly broke the kiss and pushed himself up, his hungry gaze running down the length of your body as you gasped in the fresh air. There was no break for you because he ripped away the remaining clothing and threw your legs over his shoulder to lick at your pussy. You lost track of how many tentacles were wrapping along your body, barely noticing that it wasn’t Taehyung holding you open as he ate like a starved man. Tears pooled at the corner of your eyes from over-stimulation, but when he suckled at your clit and something long entered your pussy, you cried out in pleasure at finally being filled. It was different from the tentacles caressing your body, more tapered and thinner, and when your walls squeezed around it, Taehyung groaned and every vibration sent your nerves into overdrive.

Glancing down at him, you realized that what was inside you was not another tentacle. There were two green Extenders holding your legs in place, and one currently held your wrists together bound above your head as numbers four and five slid along your body. One of them curled around your chest, leaving behind a slippery green slime in its path that felt cool to the touch as the other made its way closer to your face. You dropped your head back down on the pillow and tried to lift your hips to grind against Taehyung’s face, but a harsh suck made you gasp and stop all movement.

The tentacle reached your face, lazily poking your cheek until you rewarded it with undivided attention. Its movements were gentle as it traced the shape of your lips, the slime it left behind smearing across your face elicited a moan from the alien that was on the receiving end of you being turned on. This was one wet dream that you had never thought would become a reality, and now that it was happening, you didn’t want it to stop. Relaxing against the bed, you wet your lips out of habit before opening your mouth. Like you hoped, the tentacle went in to inspect this new place.

It was slippery as you ran your tongue against the tentacle, discovering it had some weight to it, and the slime that it oozed was sweet like the honey you used in teas. Out of curiosity you swallowed around the limb. A strangled groan came from Taehyung, and it twitched within its confines but didn’t try to remove itself. The more you sucked, the more it appeared to lubricate itself, forcing you to alternate every so often.

“Fucking hell,” Taehyung moaned. Sitting on his knees, he gazed down at you with eyes dark enough to appear black, those green streaks bright enough to glow in the dark. He was finally able to see what his tentacles had gotten themselves up to while he had been busy having his own meal, his chin wet as his tongue shrunk back to normal size.

Taehyung stared at you as the tentacle went further in your mouth, his chest heaving when you relaxed yourself to take it even further. All of the tentacles tightened at your actions, but his gaze went to your chest where one Extender had succeeded in wrapping itself around your breasts to squeeze them together and was currently rubbing itself between the small space, creating a slippery mess that made your skin tingle until it was numb.

“Look at you,” Tae murmured, lowering himself back down to your lower half. “You’re a mess darling.” He kissed your hip sweetly, quite the contradiction to everything else as one of his tentacles was in the midst of thrusting itself down your throat. Butterflies fluttered when he kissed his way across your belly, following the path of slime that had been left behind until his lower half was firmly pressed against yours, his hips grinding against yours so his cock rubbed along your lips.

“An absolute, fucking mess.”

You were so used to the jokes and pleasantries from Taehyung that to hear him swear, to call you darling as he rubbed himself against you, to have him use you as he wanted, it made your head spin until there was nothing but pure desire and need on your mind. He had already gotten you to orgasm twice without cumming himself and you still felt empty. He had yet to give you what you really wanted.

He went higher, not stopping until he was leaving wet kisses on your throat. “Such a beautiful, fucking, mess, and we’re not even done. Think you can keep up with me and my friend’s darling?”

The tentacle pulled out of your mouth then, allowing you to sharply inhale as Taehyung wiped away the string of saliva connecting you to it. He was patient as you caught your breath, amusing himself by continuing his kisses up to the back of your ear. Strands of hair were plastered to your forehead and despite everything, you felt more alive than you ever had.

 “More,” you softly whispered, throat a bit sore.

Taehyung softly hummed. Palms trailed up your sides, smearing the slime all over and up on your breasts, not caring that there was a tentacle obsessed with loving them.

“I don’t think you know what you’re asking for,” Taehyung taunted. There was a shift in his hips and this time, the head of his cock was now pressing against your pussy.

You tilted your head, capturing his lips in an open mouth kiss. Out of habit you tried to wrap your arms around his shoulders, but the Extenders tightened around your wrists. He didn’t even try to coax his tongue in your mouth. He slipped in with ease and you groaned when you realized that you tasted yourself on him. His hands settled on your hips and this time, to your pleasure, he pushed his cock in. The stretch stung but after finally having him in like you wanted all along, it satisfied the ache of being empty that had been growing since this all started a few nights ago.

“Fuck,” Taehyung groaned, knuckles turning white from his grip on your hips. “So different. You’re so warm.”

His cock moved but his hips remained pressed and still against yours, drawing your curiosity to look down. Taehyung had pushed himself balls deep, but you felt his dick changing within you. It was growing thicker, longer, and when he pulled back to thrust back in, you gasped as the new ridges that were along his shaft. He was accommodating himself to fit you perfectly. A one true fit that was made just for you.

The green in his eyes flashed, the tentacles still wrapped around your body tightened to hold you in place as Taehyung’s pace picked up, the ridges rubbing against your inner walls with each stroke became more prominent. You closed your eyes as you pressed back against the pillow, and when there was an eager poke at your lips, your mouth simply opened for the tentacle to slip inside. You were just as eager; the honey flavored slime was addicting to the taste. It was only when there was new wiggling pressure on your clit that you looked down, past the tentacle that was fucking your tits with a newfound passion as it tightened around them to make the space smaller, to see that there was a new Extender rubbing itself on your clit. The pressure was enough to make you moan, legs shaking even in Tae’s grip, but as you watched, it appeared that it didn’t plan to stay there very long. With every thrust from Taehyung, your pussy grew slicker, allowing this appendage to nudge its way into your pussy alongside his dick, all while still rubbing against your clit with each thrust.

Your cry was muffled, the stretch almost becoming overwhelming when more tentacles appeared to cover your body in an attempt to soothe and draw your focus away from the pain. Two more latched themselves on your nipples and by some magic he was able to shape them into mouths that pinched and sucked the same way Taehyung had done earlier. Another two appeared in the palms of your hands with similar ridges to his cock, and not wanting you to be too empty, a thinner tentacle slipped inside your mouth as well. You were completely and utterly stuffed, and had lost count of how many of them there were now with all senses on haywire as your nerves felt like lava with his every touch and yet, somehow, something was still missing.

The headboard thumped against the wall as Taehyung went faster, almost erratic as he chased his own high that he had been holding back from. In the darkness of the bedroom, a green light radiated from Taehyung and the Extenders that were wrapped around you, and when his gaze locked on yours, even his eyes took on the faintest glow. It was otherworldly. For a brief moment, everything slowed around the two of you as the tentacles in your mouth suddenly removed themselves. He swooped down to replace his lips where they had been, his kiss sweet and gentle as he cupped the back of your neck.

A chill racked through your body as the tentacles hugged your body, but your mind was focused on the softness of Taehyung’s lips, and how they made your heart flutter. For a split second, he pulled back to press his forehead against yours while murmuring a foreign word. Despite not knowing what he said, you softly hummed and brushed your nose against his, making him smile. He tried to kiss you again but kept breaking out into a smile that you found yourself unable to resist.

It was when he recaptured your lips in a kiss that the glowing grew brighter, lighting up the room completely. A tingling sensation ran through your body, the temperature skyrocketing as beads of sweat dotted along your skin. Taehyung thrusted one last time, his hips hilting against yours as he reached his release filling you with a green tinted substance that also spurted out of the tentacles, coating your body in goo. You would have been grossed out, but the cum that oozed out of his tentacles along with the slime from earlier was cooling to your feverish skin.

You moaned into the kiss, the Extenders that had curled and twisted around your arms suddenly dropped down to the pillows spent and exhausted. Now free, you were able to tangle your fingers through his hair. Neither of you cared how the goo dripped down your wrists or matted itself in his locks when he leaned down to leave several kisses on your cheek among the sweet words of endearment that he whispered along your skin. This gentle and tenderness was reminiscent of the Taehyung you had known while he was still in his blob form.

All of his Extenders had released you from their grip, simply resting themselves on your bodies before Taehyung called them back. You had gone to kiss him once more when his hips pressed further against yours, his dick still inside you as some of his cum spilled out from around him and down your thigh.

“Shit,” Taehyung murmured, glancing down at where the two of you were still connected.

You softly chuckled. “Is mating season usually this messy?”

He looked back up at you, a boxy smile appearing. “Sorry about that. It’s meant to ensure a successful mating, which entails with the female being pregnant by the end of the season. But it’s never been this pleasurable before.”

Even though you had never met a female Flubber in your life, a sense of pride flashed through you. You weren’t his first apparently, but you were the first to make it feel good at least. “Does that mean you have kids back home?”

“No,” he shifted his weight, lifting an arm to shove his fingers through his hair and off his forehead. “I had only come of age five winters ago, and it’s expected that Flubbers who participate for the first time are not likely to have a successful mating. This would have been my sixth attempt.”

“Sixth attempt?” You asked, leaning your head back against the pillow.

Taehyung carefully sat up. He was mindful this time of his dick keeping his cum inside you, the last thing he wanted to do was risk losing another drop. “When there is a successful mating, the two Flubbers then join in unity until their deaths. If they can produce children the first time, then they’ll be able to have another successful pregnancy next season.”

“So, if I get pregnant, you’ll stay?”

The room fell silent. The glow that had been emanating from Taehyung dimmed now that he was no longer caught up in the moment of his orgasm, but you could still see the way he pressed his lips together. One of the tentacles curled around your arm once more, slightly squeezing you in a gentle manner that reminded you of a hug.

You didn’t want Taehyung to go. Even before tonight, you had enjoyed his company greatly, and if he were to leave, who were you going to finish watching Black Butler with? There wouldn’t be anyone who would spend hours asking about what it was like to be human, who offered help around the house, or would tell you stories about what it was like where he was from. Even going to bed wouldn’t be the same without his check ins, wondering if you had enough blankets, a glass of water on the nightstand, and not so casually reminding you that if you scrolled through your phone until three in the morning again, you’d be cranky when having to go to work the next day.

It wouldn’t be home without Taehyung.

“Actually…” his fingers dug into the fleshy bits of your thighs, his thumb moving in circles as it rubbed some of his cum into the skin. “I was hoping that I could stay. Even if you never got pregnant. If…if that’s okay with you of course.”

Not able to really move, you stroked the length of one of the tentacles still on you, watching Taehyung’s body shiver at the touch. “Nothing would make me happier than that Tae.”

His thumb stopped moving, the green streaks in his eyes once again brightening as he leaned down to capture your lips in a kiss. The Extenders came back to life then, each one slipping underneath your body in a tight hug as Taehyung lifted you off the bed when he stood. Your legs squeezed his waist but he merely laughed.

“What are you doing?” You asked when he carried you to the bathroom. With the help of one of his tentacles, the light flickered on.

He lightly nipped at your collarbone. “If you hadn’t noticed yet darling, I am still lodged inside you, and we are covered in various liquids. We are in desperate need of cleaning ourselves.”

Glancing in the mirror behind Taehyung, you were finally able to see the result of tonight’s love fest. The slime had left a clear green tint that had dried down to your skin, and the release of his cum had even gotten in your hair. Tae had not been lucky either and was fairly covered in the goo himself.

“Besides,” he murmured, recapturing your attention as the water from the shower head suddenly turned on. You however, were focused on the way his eyes darkened and his smile curled into a sneaky grin that sent your heart racing. “Like I said earlier, my body is still adjusting and thinks that it’s mating season here. This is not a one-night occurrence my darling.”

One of his tentacles roamed over your chest, paying particular attention to your breasts as Taehyung stepped into the shower, the hot water only seeming to help his Extenders in their movements. At least with a shower, the result of this round of love making would be easier to clean than your stained and ruined bed sheets.

[angelsxbelle]

inch by inch.

part 1??? if i get more requests idk

request: soulmate sugawara with reader that’s nishinoya’s cousin

parings: sugawara x reader, nishinoya x reader (cousins)

warnings: nishinoya, swearing, fluff

synopsis: in which y/n l/n runs into a certain handsome gray haired boy at her cousin’s volleyball practice and just can’t seem to get him out of their head for whatever reason

yuu was your classic crackhead cousin, the one that sat at the kids table at dinner despite being a whole ass 17 year old, the one that stuck his face in his birthday cake when it was put in front of him, the one that rode his bike down a hill at top speed while screaming his lungs out

what you didn’t expect him to do, however, was almost accidentally make the best decision of your entire life happen

you both went to karasuno, you were in the same year as he was a few months older than you and you lived relatively near each other, so you saw him ever day at school

you were well aware of his volleyball team, as he was always eager to play and you had met his best friend tanaka a few times when he had come over to yuu’s house when you were visiting with family

tanaka was fun, but you had never been interested in him in a romantic way, despite the enormous blush that appeared on his face whenever you walked into the room and the stupid grin that came over him

you had just assumed all of his other teammates would be the same way

normally you didn’t have too many interactions with yuu at school since you were in different classes and didn’t really have any of the same interests, but you still always made sure to say hi regularly

he was more into sports while you had other hobbies, but your paths still intersected fairly frequently

one day, as you were getting ready to go to school your mother called out to you from another room, saying that she had made a special treat to give your cousin since it was his birthday, and she wanted you to give it to him at school since you would be seeing him there

begrudgingly you agreed, since you would have to stop by his morning practice to drop off the sweets before your first class

you made your way to school like normal, carefully carrying the basket under your arm as you walked toward your destination

looking around, you spotted the boy’s gym quickly and walked over to where you knew your cousin would be practicing with his teammates, hoping you wouldn’t cause too much of a disruption

you creaked open the door apprehensively, trying to keep a low profile and direct a minimal amount of attention towards you

you were just about to make it to the side of the gym when you heard a loud, “OIIIII!! Y/N!!!!” from across the room

you winced, looking over at the bouncing ball of energy that was nishinoya yuu, otherwise known as your nutcase of a cousin

“h- hi  yuu, i brought you these sweets from home since it’s your birthday today’, you squeaked out

“ ahHH, thanks!!!”, he yelled, making everyone turn around to look at you

“well, i better be going”, you say, as you look away from your cousin’s face your eyes pan around the room, scanning the faces of the other boys in the room, seeing a particular one with gray hair staring right into your soul, eyes as wide as saucers

you gulp, and then awkwardly make your way out of the gym, too embarrassed to say anything else, not thinking too much of what you had just seen, shutting the doors behind you and making your way to your first class

*sugawara’s point of view*

he had never seen anything like it, at least not in his three years of being at karasuno high school, not ever with anyone else he had ever met. 

sugawara koushi watched as you gracefully walked by him, despite how on edge you appeared, your hair swishing past, eyes bright and sparkling even though you weren’t looking at him.

he had gone so out of focus that he hadn’t even been hearing the words coming out of your mouth, although he could have sworn he heard the words “nishinoya” and “cousin”, thinking thank god to himself you weren’t there for anyone else.

 his thoughts twisted and turned back and forth, not able to figure out why it felt like he couldn’t breathe, or why he couldn’t stop thinking about that beautiful girl that had just walked by him.

after he was sure you were long gone, sugawara walked slowly over towards your cousin, stopping just before him, not even realizing the words about to tumble freely out of his mouth.

“h-hey noya- san, who was that?”, he said, in an almost muffled tone.

“just my absolute favorite cousin of all time!!”, yuu yelled enthusiastically.

“what’s her name? is she in your year?”

“it’s y/n, she’s a second year like me although she’s pretty mature, almost a buzzkill if i’m being honest”, he mused.

“h-huh, okay, i see”, sugawara said, almost speaking to himself as he started to walk back to where he was standing before, ready to resume the passing drills they had been doing before you had stopped by. interesting, he thought.

“ you aren’t into her or anything eh suga- san? hah!!”, nishinoya yelled from where he was in the gym over to sugawara, jokingly.

“n-no!”

shit. that was probably the most unconvincing thing he had ever said, not to mention he had just developed a fat instant crush for his kohai’s cousin out of the blue during volleyball practice. this was going to be a long ride.

the entire practice sugawara couldn’t focus, his body was moving in the routine way it did every day, but his mind was elsewhere. the moment you walked past him kept replaying over and over again in his head, like a reel from an old movie. he had never seen your face before, but it felt like he had been waiting for you for years. 

the real question though, was what next.

after practice had ended, he walked over to nishinoya once more, his body moving before his brain could.

“noya- san, what kinds of things does your cousin like’? 

“huh???? so you do like her after all do you eh?” 

“yeah, i do”

“well i’m just going to ignore the fact that you’re trying to hit on my cousin and focus on the fact that you’re asking me for girl advice, so HERE WE GO:)!!! she really likes stuff that’s more calming, and i know she’s not a huge fan of small talk and she likes to get to know people for who they are deep inside, you know intellectual stuff like that.”

“hm, i guess i can figure something out, but i think that’s really interesting, she’s not like you at all noya- san”, he laughed.

“yeah!! i think she’ll really like you though, she seems like your type!! as long as you talk to her a little bit before i’m sure she’ll be into you.”

“well, thanks for the advice noya- san, i should go to class now but thanks for your help!”

“no problem, good luck suga- san!!”, he yelled.

that morning, sugawara koushi walked away with an extra spring in his step.

not wanting to ever make you feel uncomfortable or rushing you, he took his time with getting to know you, starting with little interactions in the hallways, offering to help you with your homework, the small things that mattered.

 he couldn’t help but feel completely captivated every time you looked up at him, the butterflies in his stomach never really going away.

sugawara took his time getting to know you, waiting for the right moments to speak to you, remembering the little things that made you happy, noticing you seemed just as happy to see him as he was to see you as time passed. 

being your friend was already amazing, even he could be satisfied with just that but he just couldn’t keep his eyes off you. not for a second that you were near him, he always had no trouble listening to what you had to say, watching every word flow out of your mouth like water.

slowly but surely, you were falling for sugawara koushi as much as he had fallen for you. 

sugawara knew he was finally ready to ask you out, after weeks of finding out just how much he really did like you after dozens of conversations where he could tell you felt the same way for him too.

it was after one of your afternoon classes had just finished, when you spotted a certain gray- haired boy walking towards you that you happened to be very fond of. you let a huge smile cover your face, ready to hear whatever he had to say to you before your next class.

“hi y/n!”

“hey koushi, what’s up?”

“o- oh! not much actually, you see... uhm... i was actually wondering if you would want to go on a date with me sometime with me this weekend? it’s totally okay if you don’t though!”

“no, it’s okay koushi... i’d really like that actually... what did you have in mind?”

“r- really? i was actually wondering if this weekend on friday night we could go stargazing together, i talked to nishinoya about it and i thought it might be something you’d like to do.”

“yeah! that sounds like something i’d really enjoy, how about i meet you at your house and we walk together?”

“that sounds perfect, i guess i’ll se you then, and... thank you so much for saying yes to me!”

“no problem- i... i really like you koushi.”

“i really like you too y/n.”

and so, that weekend, y/n l/n found herself getting ready to go stargazing with sugawara koushi. you wanted to make sure you looked good, so you were careful to keep your hair neat and wear a nice outfit, one comfy enough to lay down on the grass for two hours but that would also catch his eye.

you put on your shoes, ready to walk out the door and make your way to sugawara’s house, nervousness and anticipation fluttering in your stomach as you prepared yourself to see him.

as you got to his front door and met him on his steps, you couldn’t help but notice how he looked awestruck at your appearance, his eyes as wide as saucers as he looked you up and down once, and then twice. after normal hellos, you made your way to the spot you had designated for your viewing.

as you approached your destination, you couldn’t help but let out a small gasp as you saw the hilly fields of grass outstretched in front of you, with a warm breeze slowly whipping through the long dark green strands as faint clouds shifted above you, revealing a bright blanket of scattered stars adorning the sky. 

you looked over at sugawara, his soft eyes and gray hair glistening in the moonlight, looking almost as perfect as the scene in front of you. 

he took your hand in his as you moved forward up the biggest hill in front of you, stopping at the top of it to look out onto the small town you had called home your whole life, the lights inside looking absolutely tiny as you looked over the onstretch of scenery below you, the hem of your dress slowly fluttering with the wind flowing by you.

“koushi... this is beautiful”

“not as beautiful as you.”

you laid down on the grass together, careful to keep the hem of your dress from sliding above the top of your thighs as you stretched out comfortably on your back next to him, the midnight blue sky in perfect view above you.

“y/n... i just wanted to say i think you’re really amazing and i hope after this we can go on more dates together.”

“i’d love that koushi.”

you looked up, your hand brushing alongside his, bodies close, you could hear him breathing and feel his chest moving up and down, watching the bright orbs in front of your eyes dance along next to the fluffy clouds mingling alongside them.

you turned back to your side, looking over at sugawara, just as he turned to look over at you. you stared deep into his soft brown eyes, and you could feel his staring right back into yours. 

you had never felt a connection like this with anyone else, not in high school, not in middle school. he was the one person you had ever been able to look at and tell instantly how much they cared for you.

you slid in closer, inch by inch, just a little bit closer, as you watched him do the same, his fingers reaching underneath your jaw, gently pushing your hair out of the way as he pulled you closer.

and then your lips met.

his lips were soft, warm, it felt like a hug and a warm cup of coffee from a long lost acquaintance, like security and reckless excitement at the same time. 

you felt like you could stay like this forever.

and then he pulled away slowly, looking deep into your eyes as you looked deep into your eyes as he brushed his fingers along your cheek.

you buried your face into his neck, taking in his scent as you never wanted to leave this position. you felt like being close to him was the only place you could truly rest, the only place you wanted to rest.

you talked for hours that night, about anything from books and movies you both happened to enjoy to sharing deep vulnerabilities, you had no trouble letting each other in as you felt completely in tune with him, until you looked at his watch and realized it was 3am already.

groggily, you both managed to stand up and slowly make your way back home, with him dropping you off at your house since he didn’t want you to walk alone so late at night.

you barely managed to tuck yourself into bed and put on pajamas before you passed out cold from the day you had had, as you got ready to slip into your cool bedsheets you replayed the night you had had over and over in your head, not wanting it to end.

you were sure, at koushi’s house, he was doing the same.

in the weeks that followed after that, he had asked you to be his girlfriend and you had gladly accepted, the looks on the faces of his teammates, specifically your cousin’s, was all the reason you needed despite there being so, so much more.

what started as a basket of sweets for your cousin and a painfully awkward interaction turned into the best thing that had happened to you in your entire life, your sweet boyfriend that never ceased to astound you. 

sugawara koushi got what he had wanted most, and you got what you ended up needing the most.

each other.

[flowerwrites06]

coin flip finale — jhs

Plot: A trained spy and assassin has to choose between his power-hungry brother and the benevolent Queen he’s falling in love with.

Pairing(s): Butler/Spy!Hoseok x Queen!OC (Name: Rosyne)

Rating: G | PG | M | R 18+

Type: Drabble | Oneshot | Two Parter | Series

Word Count: 7k

Genre: Royal | Angst | Smut

Tags & Warnings: angst, nudity, explicit smut, pregnancy, hidden pregnancy, violence, minor character death

The clouds gather close together deepening into an almost blackened grey as the air wafting from the windows were harsh and nippy. Hoseok relishes in the sharp breeze while he scratches the quill against the parchment calmly, making sure every word was clear. Today was the day. He could hear Rosyne’s favourite horse neighing outside in the courtyard. Maybe it was in his head since the yard was so far away.

He hears the door click open and merely glances over his shoulder to find Yoongi eyeing him curiously through the gap. “Come in.” Hoseok acknowledges, eyes scanning across the words to ensure everything was correct before placing it into the envelope.

“How’re you feeling?” Yoongis’ raspy voice echoes through his room giving a calming feeling of sorts mixed with the grey sky outside.

Hoseok smiles sadly. “I don’t think it matters what I’m feeling.”

“It matters to me, brother.” The older male walks over to the window, harsh cold breeze hitting his face but he welcomes it openly. “Minnie is still fighting with Namjoon about the whole ordeal. Her voice is hoarse at this point.”

“I can see why you like her more than Joon.”

He raises a brow looking over at him. “Can say the same about you with Rosyne.”

Hoseok couldn’t help but scoff out a light chuckle, losing all Jungkooklity to deny the males’ words anymore. “Kiku?”

“Possibly the scariest woman I’ve ever met and I’ve met my mother.” Yoongi has a small smile plastering on his face despite the dark day settling in the usually bright land of Wisteria. “I want to feel bad…I mean, I do but—there’s something about her…and this place.” He scans around the view of the kingdom.

“It’s not all what it seems.” Hoseok mutters, finger pads brushing across the rough parchment surface. “You almost feel like something’s working in Rosyne’s head but none of us can figure it out.”

Yoongi turns his head to meet the younger males’ gaze, flickering down to the closed envelope on the table. “She’s not completely vulnerable…is she?”

Hoseok chuckles through his nose softly. “Maybe in some vague sense, she is. But no she’s not.”

“What’re you going to do?”

“Protect the mother of my child.”

Yoongi sighs. “Hoseok…”

“If you found out Minnie was pregnant…and she was being mistreated—”

“I’ll kill him.”

Hoseok smiles. “Exactly.”

“The ride is going to happen today…that letter isn’t going to reach on time.”

“The ride is the least of our concerns, believe me I know Rosyne and I know Wisteria.” He taps the letter on the surface. “Rosyne and Kiku can’t send letters, they’re being spied on from every corner.” Hoseok winces knowing he trained all of those goddamn spies at a time. “And Namjoon…Namjoon wants to raise taxes for military forces, do you know what that means?”

“Wisteria won’t be the first kingdom he takes over by force.” Yoongi gulps down. This tower their brother was trying to make was too fragile, so easily breakable by a single gust of wind. “He’s going to do it to more Royals.”

Hoseok nods. “He wants to be a conqueror. A ruthless warrior who cuts down Kings and Queens. So I’m calling his perfect match.” He raises the letter up a little.

“Who’s that?”

“The real Commander of Wisterian Forces.”

*****

When she sat there looking at the empty throne, it was easy to believe that maybe things were not changing. Maybe her father was okay and just out on a walk somewhere while Rosyne could live out more days as a princess without the entire territory dropped onto her shoulders. Life wasn’t always kind that way however.

Rosyne walks through the large double doors into the dark hall. Candles lit around the well-dressed body rested on a lilac and gold altar, so calm and serene almost as if he was just sleeping. Shining sword clasped in his limp hands to showcase that he was a warrior and protector above all things. To the people anyway.

To her, he was the man that encouraged her to be kind and considerate to the people. He comforted her during the time where everything in the world seemed close in on her. He tortured the suitor who took advantage of her kindness when she was a younger princess. The King who many called ruthless was the one of the few people who ever made her feel safe. He made the people feel safe when they were in his hands.

Would they feel the same with her? Were her hands too delicate and loose to hold such a big responsibility?

Light footsteps reverberate through the hall and Rosyne notices Gaia stand next to her from the corner of her eye.

“I half-thought he would’ve died in a war or battle of some kind.” Gaia speaks up. “Mother always said his recklessness would kill him.”

Rosyne couldn’t help but smile a little at the little arguments their parents used to have. King Eirin changed a lot after mother died but his kindness towards his daughters never changed in the slightest. Although Rosyne always noticed the sadness in his eyes. “He’s reunited with her now. He must be happy.” Eyes glazed with fresh new tears but she slowly takes deep breath to calm herself down.

Gaia nods silently, clasping her fingers together in a formal stance as she always did out of habit. “Wisteria is going to be very vulnerable…even with our military forces.”

She relaxes her face into one of preparation now. Every time a royal passed, it had to be immediate decisions here and there, ensuring everything was in place and no loose ends were left untied. “Which is why I need you to leave.”

Forehead knitted, the younger female turns her head to face her sister properly. Trying to find some kind of inhibition that could stop her from finalizing this decision but all she could notice was determination. “I can’t leave you here.”

“If we’re both in the same place at the same time then we’ll be even more vulnerable. Easy to take down.” Rosyne turns her reddened eyes to meet her sister. “We need to be in two places at once until I settle some court matters.”

Gaia fully moves her body, features twisting in concern as her belly kept tugging. “If an enemy cross our borders and I’m not here…”

“You’ll be able to get into the palace walls.”

“If they hurt you—”

“I can take a lot more hurt than you think.” Rosyne swallows the lump in her throat.

Gaia stammers lightly before sighing in defeat. “I know that but that’s not what I mean. I should—be here with you, protecting you.”

“Please just—just trust me.” The older female whispers but loud enough for Gaia to hear.

“And Hoseok—”

“I know you don’t think Hoseok is trustworthy but I believe he’s a good man.” Rosyne reaches out and holds onto her hands. “He’s not going to let anything bad happen.”

“How do you know that?”

“I don’t. But I’m not going to punish the man I love on a whim. Can you understand that?”

Despite the unconvinced look on her face, Gaia nods. “If anything goes out of order…I’m coming right back.”

Rosyne smiles. “I won’t stop you.”

*****

Clouds looking thicker than ever and the air incredibly cool and damp, King Namjoon’s council stood at the edge of the stairs leading to the entrance of the palace. A tawny horse with a white mane stood calmly in front of them, tapping its hoofs onto the pavement. Rosyne walks down the stairs with a purple velvet robe.

The council members expression immediately soften when they notice the large protruding belly she caresses gently. Even Jimin looks apprehensive to let this happen especially the air was so cool. Too cold.

Rosyne stands next to her horse Misty, patting it lovingly as it neighed a little in delight causing her to smile. She hadn’t gone for a ride in so long that it feels comforting having the soft hair under her palm again.

Hoseok tightens his jaw curling his fingers into fists wanting to swing it at something so strongly but he takes a deep breath. Nothing good will come from getting angry. He walks forward patting Misty gently. “It starts from the silk merchants stall to the university.” He speaks softly so it’s only between the two of them.

She nods, carefully untying her robe so it loosens over her body before shrugging it off her shoulders. Cold winds causes goosebumps to raise on her skin as she shivers a little. Thick long hair over her shoulder covering her breasts though they still ached from the sensitivity. Rosyne hands the robe over to Hoseok who accepts it reluctantly.

“She can’t sit on the leather saddle.” Minnie mutters, feeling utterly putrid for being so warm while the kind Queen was vulnerable and bare in the cold. Sighing she takes off the thick winter cloak from her shoulders leaving her in her off shoulder dress. But her hair was enough to keep them warm. Walking over to the saddle, she drapes it over as neatly as possible.

Hoseok couldn’t help the small smile tugging at his lips when he watches the queen place something warm on the saddle.

“I know it’s not enough.” Minnie states with a slight rasp in her voice.

“It’s enough.” Rosyne smiles.

Minnie nods despite her face still not relaxed in the slightest as she walks back over to Namjoon’s side. The king merely gives an unreadable side glance before licking his teeth.

Hoseok firmly held onto her hips even though it was difficult to lift her up and try to ensure she was not in pain. It was not safe to be riding in this condition, he knew it. Even Namjoon knew it and the idea itself causes a burn of anger that bubbles right up to his throat. Eventually he heard Rosyne sigh in relaxation, situating herself on the now warm and soft saddle. “Do you feel any pain?”

Rosyne shakes her head absentmindedly caressing the back of his hand. “I’m okay.” There was a dull ache around her belly but she tries to push it down for the time being.

“Perhaps someone should walk with Queen Rosyne…to ensure she’s safe.” Yoongi speaks up this time causing another side glance from Namjoon.

“I’ll go.” Hoseok didn’t hesitate to offer.

“This isn’t some kind of parade.” Namjoon speaks through gritted teeth, shooting glares at both of them. “Queen Rosyne has answered to a deal and I’m sure she can get through it all on her own.”

“Thank you, gentlemen.” Rosyne smiles softly at the two men. “My mother went to battle with my sister in her belly. I’ll be okay.” She lightly nudges Misty with a slight encouraging noise before the gorgeous creature galloped slowly out of the courtyard into the town.

“Where is her sister anyway?” Namjoon asks mostly to himself but Hoseok and Yoongi share a quick glance at one another.

“No one knows. Some speculate she may have died at battle.” Jimin speaks this time in a casual tone once Rosyne disappears out into the town.

The King hums in response and the rest of the council stands in silence until the ride was finished.

-

The cold seeped through her skin deep, freezing her very bones as they tremble on the horse. Rosyne scans around the silk merchant stall but it was empty. Past the houses and the taverns, all the doors and windows barred causing her brows to furrow for a moment. Though she quickly understands why the city must be empty. It could just be for the storm brewing soon but even in the rain, she would notice some of the taverns booming with happy noise.

There was nothing. She slowly realizes why no one decided to leave their houses and the thought makes her smile a little. Namjoon’s influence was not as strong as he assumed. Rosyne looks up at the darkening sky with a soft expression, still shivering a little as she tries to press her palms against the cloak to provide some warmth.

“We haven’t ridden in so long, haven’t we?” Rosyne asks the creature reaching out and caressing her mane gently with a grin though it feels uncomfortable to move so much. “I’m a little heavier.” She looks down at her protruding belly, palm caressing over the bare, stretched skin. Much to her delight she feels her child moving calmly inside and the ache began again. “We’re almost there, my sweet.”

As they close in on the university, Rosyne still hasn’t seen a single soul out and about. Even the children were back in their homes and some of their clothes still hanging out on lines despite the thunder booming across the skies. She has the urge to hug herself a little as her teeth rattle a little too frequently.

Finally past the university, Misty gallops back into the courtyard where the council still stands proudly. Queen Minnie now has another black cloak over her which Rosyne suspects was lent from Yoongi when all he had was his coat.

Hoseok didn’t hesitate a single second as Misty pauses in front of the stairs, helping Rosyne down and feeling a jolt of fury when he could feel her skin so cold while she tries so hard not to shiver too much. He wraps the robe back over her body again, tying it firmly before rubbing her arms up and down to warm her up. “I’m sorry.” He whispers weakly.

“It’s okay.” Rosyne smiles. “No one was in the town.”

“Excuse me?” Namjoon asks breaking their momentary comfort.

“It seems trying to punish Rosyne in a city that loves her was…not the most effective decision.” Jimin speaks clearly trying not to smile too much for the sake of his King.

“But…” Seokjin speaks up this time with a firm voice. “Lady Rosyne has done what was asked of her. Therefore the deal must be returned accordingly.”

Namjoon feels a sharp rush of cold pass through him when he catches a figure walk from behind him towards Rosyne.

Kiku had an air around her that could cut like ice spikes but it quickly soothed into something comfortable when she sees Rosyne. “Are you in any kind of pain?”

“I’ve been having little cramps here and there.” Rosyne says honestly this time now that the ride was finished.

She nods in response despite the unimpressed look plastering over her face. “Queen Rosyne must rest, she is far too close to her due to be doing anything too straining.” Kiku doesn’t take it as a request and simply holds onto Rosyne’s hand and leads her back up the stairs blatantly passing Namjoon without a look of fear on her face.

Once Kiku and Rosyne walk away, Hoseoks’ eye burn with such a fire as he stares at Namjoon. “If anything…and I mean anything happens to Rosyne or my child…” He walks forward up the stairs right until on the stair Namjoon was standing on. Their gazes boring into each other as the heat of his anger wafted to the King. “You won’t see the light of day again.”

“You’ve been loyal all this time…right to this point…what makes you think you’ll ever have the courage to kill me?” Namjoon scoffs.

“You said it yourself…I don’t even blink after I kill someone. That was for you. But for her? And my baby?” Hoseok smiles with such a sinister aura that Namjoon doesn’t have the strength to keep his firm expression. “I’ll fucking uproot your entire existence…and you’ll spend the rest of your afterlife as a lonely speck of dust.” He seethes. “And you know very well I can do that, brother.”

Namjoon presses his lips together as he forces himself to raise his chin.

Hoseok keeps a sharp glare before bumping his shoulder against Namjoon’s as he walks up the stairs.

A tense silence passes through the council members as they shift in their positions. Except one. Minnie stands calmly, eyes flickering up to the sky as a peek of lightning shot somewhere in the distance. Slowly and dangerously coming slowly their way, light trickles of rain began to darken the courtyard surface. “A great storm is brewing.”

-

Rain pours in a steady fall once everyone is in the palace. The council members situate themselves in Yoongi’s chambers while Jimin stares out the window. Seokjin, on the other hand spews curses and shouts indirectly shooting at Namjoon and trying to let the frustrations he so graciously kept in during the ride.

“We helped Namjoon because we thought he’d bring a new dawn to the territories! Something modern and helpful!” Seokjin roughly rakes through his hair. “What he did out there is stupidly ancient! Letting the poor girl go out like that when she was so vulnerable!”

Yoongi sits on the edge of the bed quietly, Taehyung perches himself on one of the dining chair and Jungkook leans himself against a wall near the changing partition. All of them quietly listening to their oldest brother. Except Jimin who opts to relish in the sounds of the soft rain slowly gaining in its strengths and dropping harder on the ground.

“It was a good thing Wisteria has more sense than our brother. A whole fucking town knew to respect Rosyne but not this one man.” Seokjin scoffs feeling his legs wobble and fingers tremble from the anger seeping through his veins, slowly with a struggle calming down as he spews more words.

Jimin takes a deep breath in the midst of tension, closing his eyes to let the sound of raindrops hitting the ground relax his bones. When silence spread across Yoongis’ chambers, he begins to speak. “What was the thing our brother said about kindness?”

“What?” Seokjin asks in a slightly weakened voice.

“Hoseok…you said he spoke something about kindness that you liked.” The younger male says still in the same serene tone like nothing ever bothered him.

“Don’t mistake kindness for softness.”

Jimin hums padding away from the window as the rain grew more violent. He walks over to Taehyung and gently perches himself on his lap with the male’s hands around his hips, keeping him secure.

“Why do you ask?” Yoongi narrows his gaze for a moment.

He shrugs nonchalantly, playing with Taehyung’s fingers. “I smell something brewing. Something strong and…angry. Very angry.” Jimin feels the warmth curdle in his gut tugging to warn him that whatever he could smell was nearing.

“A revolt?” Seokjin walks towards the dining table and leans over the edge.

“No…much more dangerous than that.” Jimin shakes his head feeling his gut twist a little. It was close. She was close. “I smell the anger of a warrior. Her fire cracks metal and her mere gaze breaks Kings.”

“Must you always speak in riddles?” Jungkook shakes his head causing Jimin to let out a small giggle.

“You needn’t wait much longer.” Jimin relaxes a little more, brushing his fingers through Taehyungs’ hair. “Our brother Namjoon will soon meet the error of his ways in underestimating the royals of Wisteria.”

-

The cramps turned into searing pain when the rain began smacking the windows in its might. Her whole body heated, blood rushing through her veins so quickly Rosyne couldn’t keep up with breathing normally. Something wet trickled down between her legs causing a state of panic. She leans against the pillars of the bed, unbridled agonized cry leaving her lips as tears stream down her cheeks.

“Your Majesty…” One of the maids whisper before she shouts at another to call the physician quickly and the young one obliges without hesitation.

Rosyne cries out again, nails scratching against the wood as pain burst like wildfire squeezing through her body. More liquid trailing down her legs onto the floor. She shakily reaches down into her dress before bringing up her drenched hand, the liquid clear and watery. “The baby—”

“It’s normal, Your Majesty, the baby’s coming.” The maid rubbed her back up and down trying to keep a gentle tone though there was a slight shake to it. She guides the Queen properly to lie down on the bed.

Rosyne desperately tries to take in a deep breaths, cheeks puffing out as she exhales. The pain became a little more bearable for a few moments allowing her to properly lie back with a few pillows elevating her upper body. “H-Hoseok, I-I need—” She grabs onto the maid’s hand tightly.

Before she could try and finish her sentences, the door burst open with Kiku, Hoseok and the maid rushing inside. Kiku shrugs off her coat leaving her a loose white shirt, sleeves rolled up before she pulled on some black gloves. The young maid pulls in a tray of tools in front of the bed while Kiku climbs closer, gently spreading Rosyne’s legs.

Hoseok moves over to Rosyne’s side immediately holding onto her hand. “Is everything—”

“She’s okay. You’re in labour.” Kiku mutters gently loud enough for them to hear over the sound of heavy rain outside the palace. She places a gloved hand on the belly as a familiar sharp chill jolts in the room for a brief moment. “Sorry...” She whispers. “Your baby is in the right position, I just need you to breathe.”

Rosyne nods, immediately wincing when the pain burst through her again causing her to whimper, heaving in as many deep breaths as she could. “The—the court…” She gulps down.

“I’ll take care of it.” Hoseok mutters how deeply her nails dug into his skin. “I’ll take care of everything, I promise.” He looks down at Kiku briefly and sees the physician staring right into him. He knows what she’s doing. The male keeps her gaze, firm and ready as a chill ran down his spine before he watches Kiku’s expression—for the first time ever grow soft with a tinge of a smile.

“Your people and kingdom are safe, your Majesty.” Kiku addresses with a much wider smile which Rosyne replies with a mixture of a sob and a chuckle. “Now just breathe.”

“You’ve taken care of us and this kingdom for a long time.” Hoseok whispers in her ear. “Let us take care of you, okay?” He brushes through her dampening hair, gently wiping away the tear rolling down her cheek.

Rosynes’ chest rises and falls deeply before she nods. “O-okay…”

-

Storm spreads across the land of Wisteria, hues of grey and blue covering each corner of the sky as mud puddles gathers on the grounds. An almost endless line of horses and figures march towards the gates of the kingdoms leaving the watchers in slight shock. Though the purple banners were not hard to miss even in their blurry line of sight. It was one of their own. At least from their ‘previous’ monarch.

The watch guards do not wait long before letting the gates open knowing the figure riding under the purple umbrella attached to the horse was not to be toyed with.

Namjoon sits on his throne feeling much colder than he would like since Minnie refused to sleep next to him after the whole ride to town. He tries to catch a few glimpses of her next to him, her beautiful long hair poorly attempting to hide the purpling marks on her neck which were not made by him. He quickly averts his gaze to prevent the sink in his chest.

“You knew…you fucking knew I loved her.” Yoongi whispered, back facing him as Namjoon broke the news of their wedding. “And you still agreed.”

Namjoon pressed his lips together. “So did she.”

“You’re a fucking Prince in your own right, Namjoon, you could’ve said no.” The older male turned his head to his side. “You know what Minnie’s parents are like. She had no choice.”

“I had to agree to the marriage if I was going to get her parent’s army.” He attempted to explain but he was only met with reddened eyes staring back at him, angry and heartbroken.

“That’s all you care about.” Yoongi shook his head. “It’s not about building a good world with your brothers anymore, it’s just you and your goddamn obsession with power.”

“That’s not true.”

“What else can it be?” He winced.

“Maybe you should stop living in your own head and realize that Minnie might have just wanted to marry me.” Namjoon explained though something nudged inside him that it was a lie. He saw the look on Minnie’s when she had to agree. He noticed the tear rolling down her cheek that she desperately tried to blink away.

Yoongi scoffed bitterly. “Maybe she does.” He gulped down, features contorting as he turned his back to the male again.

Namjoon tightened his jaw biting down any words that may have been used to reassure him somehow. But he couldn’t. It was done.

Perhaps there was a part of him that wanted to believe things would be different and Minnie would soften up to him, forget Yoongi while his brother would do the same. Life was never kind that way though.

The double doors crashes open with a deafening thud alerting the guards as they stumble to get away from the heavy doors while the members of the councils now walk forward closer to the King and Queen. Heavy boots stomps on the wooden floors hitting the walls right to Namjoons’ eardrums as he sees a burst of royal purple walk towards him.

Velvet royal purple coat, long dark curls with a familiar pair of striking violet eyes. Except this one had less roundness to them. Less softness. This was sharp like daggers shooting straight through him so much that he could feel the sting on his skin.

Dozens of guards pad into the throne room behind her marching without a single ounce of hesitation when they stood at the sides of the hall. Now the woman stands in the center, her gaze unblinking as it bore into Namjoon making him feel small despite sitting on the throne.

“Who are you supposed to be?” Namjoon asks as he hears lighter footsteps from his side. From the corner of his eye, he makes out Hoseoks’ familiar figure walking to stand next to him before looking back at the stranger.

The woman flickered those harsh eyes to Hoseok only for a second until her lips part. “Princess Gaia of Wisteria…who are you supposed to be?”

“New King of Wisteria.” Namjoon ignores the sink in his belly as he tries not to glare at Jimin for feeding him false and unconfirmed information.

Gaia presses her lips together again into a thin line. “So I’ve heard.” She raises a brow. Barely a few words spoken from the woman and she already made him feel like he was lying somehow.

He taps the arm of the throne lightly to mask his fingers trembling a little as his eyes scans over to the members of the council who stood silent. “I’m sure this won’t cause trouble between the two of us as I’ve—”

“Your claim to the throne is illegal, new king.”

Namjoon chuckles nervously. “It’s Namjoon.”

“I didn’t ask.” Gaia replies simply creating a pin drop silence in the hall.

Jimin tries his best to bite down an amused smile as he flickers his eyes over to Hoseok who stands calm and confident. Though he smells it far too thickly in the room. A mixture of immense failure and ultimate success. He could guess which scent belonged to whom.

Namjoon immediately clears his throat as he shifts in his throne, glancing over at Minnie who didn’t look like she had any interest in paying attention. “The contract to hand over the kingdom needed to be signed by the Queen and Commander. Which they were.”

“And where’s your commander?” Gaia asks with a ghost of a smile playing on her lips.

He confidently gestures to the figure hidden somewhere behind Jungkook. There was no response for a while causing his stomach to twist.

Jungkook moves to pull the armored fool from the shadows and push him towards Gaia.

Metal clangs as the old man lands on the floor making a small noise that could resemble a sob. He kneels down properly in front of Gaia with a loud cry. “I did what you asked, C-Commander! Please d-don’t h-hurt me!”

Gaia asked him to do whatever Rosyne ordered him to do which the man did and the younger female wasn’t sure whether to punish him or reward him for his loyalty. Then again this was not what she expected her sister to do. “It’s alright.” She mutters softly.

Fingers curl up into tight fists, grimacing down at the shivering male bowing down to the woman with the utmost respect and fear. “Command—”

“Oh yes…Princess Gaia…” She bows slightly. “Official Commander of Wisterian Forces.” The ghost of a smirk now forms into a full smile with all the bitterness in the world lacing through it.

Namjoon feels his entire body crash through the floor. The constant feeling of falling with no end rushing through his veins causing his fingers to openly tremble. “You did this.” He turns his head to face Hoseok.

“This is funny the thing about loyalty…” Gaia speaks up tilting her head. “You don’t just take it and expect it to last. You can earn it but just as easily lose it.” She grins, eyes flickering over to the members of the council. “Now get off my sister’s chair...”

Without a single wave of her hand, the guards situated in the room raise their spears and point it straight at him.

“Your Majesty…” Kiku’s voice causes everyone to pause their actions for a moment. She scans around the room, heart relaxing to see Gaia standing in the center while the pretend council was now cornered. “Queen Rosyne has given birth a healthy baby girl.”

Something burst in Hoseoks’ chest as the news lingered in the air, almost like butterfly or angel wings fluttering in his belly. A smile almost immediately stretched across his lips. “Can I—” He whispers in such a soft noise that he worries Kiku might not have heard him but thankfully the Physician nods. He glances over his shoulder to Gaia for a moment.

Gaia doesn’t hesitate to nod for him to disappear out of the throne room.

Namjoon couldn’t control himself, heart pounding right up to his throat as he pushed off the throne and lunges on Gaia with his sword in hand. Before his sense could catch up to him, two blades clash with one another. A piercing screech echoes through the room as their sword separate. “You really think I’m just going to give it back to you?” He seethes. “I’ve worked my entire life to ensure this kingdom goes to a better monarch.”

“And you call yourself a better monarch on what grounds? Asking a nine month pregnant woman to ride around town? Simply because she asked for military taxes to be lowered.” Gaia’s eyes burn through Namjoon’s skull. She notices the male raising his sword again which she swung away cutting his hand and forcing him to drop the sword to the ground. The tip of her sword presses against Namjoon’s jugular. “My sister might have been patient with you.” She didn’t hesitate to push the blade further against the mans’ skin.

Namjoon tries to stand up straight and keep his stance but Gaia wasn’t stopping. The blade piercing through his skin, pushing harder causing him to move back. Stumbling a little until he finally dropped, the back of his head hitting the seat of the throne.

“But I won’t waste a single second to gut you right in front of your followers.” Gaia didn’t loosen the pressure on his jugular as the storm smacks on the windows, the wind whistling in such a volume it was almost screaming. “So stay put.” Once she could feel the male staying still enough, she pulls the sword away wiping away the excess blood on the blade against Namjoon’s sleeves.

“Maybe it wouldn’t have happened if you hadn’t abandoned your sister.” Namjoon touches his injury gently, his fingers pads immediately drenching with blood.

Gaia sighs softly unsheathing her sword silently and slowly. Letting the sound of metal lightly sing as it disappears into the sheath. Before anyone could prepare themselves, she raised her heavy booted foot and jabbed right in between Namjoons’ legs.

A crippling shout echoes through the room as she kicks again.

Kick. The throne shifts from its position.

Kick. At the same spot over and over again until Minnie almost catches a whimper from the usually composed male.

She then kicks the throne back even more so Namjoon could fall limp on the ground, groaning and arms covering his destroyed limb, damp with the mud from her boots.

“I didn’t abandon her.” Gaia finally speaks in a calm tone ignoring the look of shock even gripping Jimin’s expression. “It’s usually tradition for siblings to stay in separate places whenever their parent passes away to ensure both of them are not eliminated.” She walks back to the center of the throne room without even a slight shake in her voice. Almost as if she had done this to many people before. “Just in case a lowly prince decides to get any ideas.” Gaia turns back to notice tears gathering in Namjoons’ reddened eyes.

Namjoon keeps breathing heavily, eyes flickering from side to side as if finding some words to spit back at her but nothing came out.

“I’d kill you right now, you know.” Gaia tilts her head. “Wisteria wouldn’t even take a second glance if I had your head on the spike outside.” She gestures out at the windows, still drenching thickly with rain. “But that’s why Rosyne is Queen. So sorry souls like you can get a second chance you probably don’t even deserve.”

“Your Highness…” Seokjin speaks up this time with a careful tone, taking a few steps forward. “May I ask what our punishment will be?”

She shakes her head. “It’s up to Rosyne. Knowing her though, no one is going to be executed.” There was slight sense of disappointed lacing in the woman’s tone but Seokjin nods and kindly takes that as a good enough answer. “Detain them.” Gaia orders and a few guards walk forward to take the council members and carry Namjoon. “Leave the girl and whoever’s called Yoongi.” She gestures to the side who stare at her in deep confusion though the younger female does not explain further.

Frankly the couple was afraid to ask.

Once the throne room was left with the three of them, Gaia walks forward to the throne and gently shifts it back to its place. “Hoseok’s letter informed me that you both aided my sister against your King’s wishes. I thank you for that.”

“Truthfully, Your Highness…” Yoongi speaks up with the same care as Seokjin. “I only helped her because I knew she was important to Hoseok.”

“Nevertheless you helped her.” Gaia gives a small pat on the chair. “Even when you didn’t have to.”

“If I may ask, Princess Gaia—what is Rosyne going to do to them?” Minnie asks. Maybe a small part of her wonders if Rosyne would give Namjoon the second chance or they would have to deal with another surprise.

Gaia sighs as she relaxes on the arm of the throne. “At this point, just hope Rosyne has her same patience after just pushing out a baby.”

-

Her belly burst with joy hearing that shrieking cry of a tiny angel, drenched in blood and almost looking like it was shivering. Kiku whispers that she was a girl before moving to clean her up. Sheets and sheets soaked in red now thrown into a hamper for cleaning while the crying fades into a calm whining.

Rosyne rests back against the pillow finally being able to breathe a little more easily, dark hair matting to her temples, eyes still reddened from the incessant sobbing and screaming. The storm outside fades back into a steady rain instead of the screaming wind giving off a more relaxing atmosphere. She peers through hooded lids as Kiku walks over to her holding the most precious thing in the entire world in her arms.

Despite all the crying, she still feels her eyes burning with more tears when Kiku places the little girl in her embrace. The child stirs a little slightly waving around her tiny hands with her eyes slowly opening and closing. A light coo emitting from her breath.

“Hello…” Rosyne whispers, shaking her gently. “My princess.” She lets out a small mixture of a sob and giggles before leaning in and kissing the top of the baby’s head.

Kiku had walked out to the throne room to inform Hoseok of the birth while the maids tried to wrap up all the sheets and towels.

In minutes, the door opens with Hoseok walking through, glazed eyes looking over at the scene before him. His whole body fills up with comfortable warmth. A small smile tugging at the corners of his lips. There was something so strange seeing the little life made by the two of them. A whole person holding a part of him manifested with the woman he loved. “I—”

Rosyne grins lightly patting the space next to her. “Come closer.”

He hesitates for a brief moment before finally moving to sit down on the soft surface. His breath hitches in his throat when he sees her. The sweet little human tiredly opening her eyes to attempt to look up at her mother, blinking curiously while her tiny lips part. Hoseok couldn’t help but grin ear to ear seeing the tinge of violet in the child’s eyes. “She’s beautiful.”

She hums in response biting down her bottom lips as more tears trail down her cheek. “I wanted to name her Chikara.”

“Chikara…” Hoseok mutters to himself before smiling. “It’s good.” His smiles fades for a moment when he notices Rosyne sobbing a little quietly to herself. “Hey—hey, what’s wrong?” He reaches out to wipe away a few tears across her face.

Rosyne quickly shakes her head giving him a quick smile. “I’m just happy.” She holds onto his hand, pressing a small kiss on his fingers before gently placing it near Chikara. “I’ve been hiding her for so long, I almost didn’t believe it sometimes.” She chuckles weakly. “Now she’s here.”

“You did such a good job.” Hoseok wraps one arm around the girl, pressing his lips against her temples. He moves his hand further to caress Chikara’s delicate skin feeling a tingle down his spine. Then the butterflies soared across his chest again when her tiniest fingers wrap gently around his bigger finger. “Gaia’s here.”

“Namjoon—”

“She’s taking care of him.” Hoseok brushes through his hair to soothe her. “You don’t have to worry about anything for now.”

Rosyne relaxes a little and leans her head on his shoulder, finally being able to completely relish in the calm. “Thank you.”

“You don’t have to thank me.” Hoseok nudges his nose against her temple. “You don’t ever have to thank me. You deserve all the happiness in the world.” He mutters in her ear with the softest voice he could muster while his eyes focus on little Chikara finally attempting to hold an exhausted gaze. “Princess Chikara.”

It didn’t even take a night’s sleep or time to think when Hoseok decides that he would do anything in the world to protect his family.

-

Morning brought a bright sun shining in the clear sky, drying up the mud puddles and bringing a new glow to all the crops in Wisterian farms. Inside the palace, Queen Rosyne sits on her throne with the little princess in her arms, raising her tiny hands while her mother playfully taps her nose. Chikara adorns a soft lilac dress which almost feels like a cloud under her palm courtesy of the Royal seamstress who enchanted it to make it as comfortable as possible.

Hoseok stands next to the throne fondly smiling down at his daughters’ little movements with Kiku standing on the other side of the throne. Thankfully Minnie and Yoongi were let off on any imprisonment sentence automatically as they stood at the side of the throne room. The rest of his brothers would also be given less harsh treatments while Rosyne allowed Gaia to lay a punishment on Namjoon. Since Namjoon never harmed Rosyne, he was not to be tortured in any way but simply had to leave the kingdom barefoot for the people of Wisteria to observe.

Double doors thud open with Gaia leading the trail of figures walking through. The council members now released of their shackles while Namjoon was still in chains from his feet to his wrists. Standing in the center of the throne room, Gaia gives a bow and walks to the side of the throne room.

Rosyne presses a small kiss on Chikara’s forehead before gently handing her to Hoseok who holds onto her happily.

Pin-drop silence plunges into the room save for the few cooing noises coming from the child. The Queen raises her chin, hardened expression adorning her features as she observes Namjoon’s ragged clothing and messy hair. “You already know your sentence, I’m sure.”

Namjoon has his head hung purposely staying quiet for a minutes longer than most people’s patience. But then he slowly breaks. “Why have you called me here then?” He mumbles mostly under his breath but Rosyne hears him enough.

“Your soldiers—are relinquishing their allegiance to you.” Rosyne’s announcement causes the male’s head to shoot up a little along with a few confused expressions from the council members, particularly the young Jungkook.

“You mean you forced them to relinquish.” Namjoon seethes.

“I don’t force people to do anything.” Rosyne replies simply. “Your…deal to have me ride around town naked seemed to have caused a light tremor of disbelief amongst your troops. Apparently their Captain specifically taught them not to follow a leader who cannot respect vulnerable people.”

Jungkook’s round eyes widen a little as his Adam’s apple bobs up and down, averting his gaze from the front of the throne room.

“Your Captain seems to know more about respect than you do.” Gaia speaks up, hands clasped behind her back.

“Your Majesty…” Jungkook speaks finally although with a careful voice. “Where are the soldiers’ going to go?”

“Some of them want to sign up for Wisterian Forces and fight under Commander Gaia’s name.” Rosyne nods towards her younger sister. “There are a few who want to go back home and begin normal lives with their families.”

“I will not welcome deserters in my kingdom.” Namjoon sends a sharp glare to the Queen but she does not respond with even a flinch.

“It’s not your kingdom anymore.” Rosyne announces.

The male’s brows furrow. “It’s my birthright.”

“You should’ve thought about the consequences before you sent in a spy.”

“A spy who you happily let fuck you without question.” Namjoon smiles bitterly taking a brave step forward despite feeling only immense pain between his legs. “You let him put a goddamn baby in you, for god’s sake.” He chuckles, eyes glossing and reddening by the second. “That child has killer’s blood coursing through her veins, did you know that?”

In mere seconds, the room faded into a frightening chill erupting a small cry from Chikara. Hoseok covers her up in his jacket to keep her warm but the cold only grew stronger.

Kiku walks forward to the center of the throne room watching Namjoon’s neck turn veiny and blue as he let out pathetic choked sounds. “The harshest words always utter from the most terrified people.” She speaks, calmly looking at the male drop down to his knees heaving in deep breaths as the room fades to a normal warmth again.

Rosyne sighs in defeat as Namjoon coughs on the grounds desperately taking in deep breaths that he lost in Kiku’s outburst. “I highly advise not to talk about my child or her father in that manner again.”

Namjoons’ teary eyes flickers up to meet the Queen.

“There may just be a time where they don’t stop. And I won’t stop them.” It never came often. Rosyne always holds a sense of patience around her that to hear her spew a threat in that same gentle tone left a chilling mark in the throne room.

Patient people harbored the most potent fury.

“You will be escorted by my troops and myself back to your kingdom.” Gaia announces, almost sounding like the patient sister for a moment as Rosyne’s quiet anger still lingers in the room. “Anyone who wishes to stay can do so but they will not be allowed in the main rooms of the palace until significant time has passed.” She mostly glances over at Minnie and Yoongi as the couple gave them a brief nod.

Namjoon has confusion gripping his face looking over at Minnie and Yoongi, letting out a shaky breath. “Minnie?” He whispers.

Minnie swallows down the lump in her throat and walks close to Yoongi. Their fingers intertwining together almost perfectly. It didn’t take any words. Not that Minnie could say anything. But the action was enough for Namjoon to hang his head.

“We could have been allies, Namjoon.” Rosyne speaks before sighing. “Unfortunately pride and power always gets the best of someone in a generation.”

No harsh comment were left to swirl in the air. Namjoon keeps his head hanging down almost as if it could detach from his neck altogether. “Just let me go home.” He whispers.

Some strange part of her wants to reassure the male somehow that he could rebuild himself back again if he ever needed to. Except this time Rosyne couldn’t find it in herself to do so. She was still too tired and the soreness still lingered in her body for her to maintain that piece of kindness inside her that would reassure even a raging monster. So in pure silence she nods to Gaia.

Her sister doesn’t waste any time in escorting the council out of the throne room. Minnie and Yoongi follow suit a few minutes after, not forgetting to give a small bow to the Queen before disappearing.

Once the double doors closed, Rosyne lets out a deep sigh and immediately hears Chikara’s fussing a little with small whimpers and whines. She gets up from her throne to see Hoseok gently shaking the baby to a calm state.

“Do you still want me here?” Hoseok asks, his chest clenching a little at the thought of never seeing both their faces again. He hands Chikara over to Rosyne as the woman shushes her quietly and holds her close to her chest.

“I carried her without you.” Rosyne relaxes a little feeling the warmth of her child as she slowly calms down in her embrace.

Hoseok hangs his head, gulping down. Spies and killers never built families or took part in them. They called each other brothers for the sake of appearances for the most part. Namjoon always liked reminding him of that whenever he was sent off to a mission for his conquest.

“But I don’t want to raise her without you.” A smile stretches across her lips as Rosyne reaches out and holds onto his hand.

It doesn’t take Hoseok long to feel his body flutter again with those same butterflies. Wildly soaring across his belly as he moves closer and leans to press a kiss on her lips. One hand cupping her cheeks, he dips down to kiss Chikara’s forehead as she blinks up at him curiously.

Maybe Namjoon was wrong. Maybe Hoseok could finally…truly have a family.

<< prev chap

[qvid-pro-qvo]

a double shot for me (with a splash of you)

also known as a coffee shop au no one asked for, but i wanted. aaron hotchner x gender neutral reader.

word count: 8628

rating: teen, for lots and lots of coffee consumption, baked goods, and falling in love one cup at a time.

-

Penelope sees it first. 

Ever since JJ left, cases fall on her more and more. Those pesky paper files that the FBI insists on keeping around. Dark manila folders embossed only to be thrown away. It’s a shame, but those are the ones she has to take up to Hotch’s office. 

She makes the climb, moves to his door with purpose. Reaches out to knock, clutching one of her more muted pens in case Hotch needs one to sign. Not likely, but the last time she had one with a fuzzy pink thing on a spring, and the visual of Hotch signing one of their cases with that much... fluff made her eyes cross. 

Anyway. She’s up and in, Hotch giving his permission, and the files in her arms get placed in his box. 

“Just a couple of signatures,” she informs him. 

“Are these finished consults?” he asks, and she fills him on what details she can. It’s while she’s filling him in, though, that he lifts a mug of coffee to his lips. 

It’s a new mug. One that she’s never seen on his desk before. Definitely different, because the ones he usually chooses are the kind that the FBI keeps as standard issue, the ones that get stolen and restocked because they’re convenient and... just okay, as far as mugs goes. They hold coffee effectively enough, is what she’s saying. 

But this is a mug. A kind of cute mug, with a logo on the front of some coffee shop. It’s white, too, almost a shock on the more somber mahogany of her boss’s desk. 

“Garcia?” 

She realizes then that she stopped talking. Hotch is staring up at her, mug still poised halfway up to his lips, and she blinks, mouth falling open a little. 

“I’m - I’m sorry, sir. I was just admiring that mug you have. Is that place any good? It opened up pretty recently, right?” 

He glances at it. Seems to notice it for the first time as well, and his face softens. That’s the only way Penelope can describe it, as if looking at the mug makes him think of something... good. 

But when he talks, it’s like any other conversation. As if that little moment she spies doesn’t happen. Nods, face just on this side of neutral. 

“Yeah, I like their coffee. Fair prices, too, even with the knowledge that a building full of FBI agents are here to overcharge.” 

She chuckles, but it’s for more than the joke. It’s at the fact that Hotch seems that close to smiling himself, and she pulls back from his desk with a little grin. “All right, sir. Thank you.” Her head dips a little.

“Thank you,” he shoots back, and when she leaves, she thinks that maybe she’ll let that place be all his. 

-

The first time Aaron-With-Two-A’s comes into your coffee shop (distinguishing him from Aron-With-One-A and Aahron-With-An-H), you’re pretty smitten with him. You can’t tell if it’s the fitted suit and tie, the jawline, or the small smile he gives you when he orders, but by the time you serve him with an extra bright smile that he kindly returns... well, you’re in love. He could be the love of your life. Especially when he drops a tip in the jar. 

An exaggeration, of course. It’s not love.

Maybe.

Anyway, you see him walk out the door and at that point you know that you’ll never see him again. This isn’t the part of town that usually gets the suits, and there are shops closer to where they gather that he’ll probably use next. Your luck is shitty anyway, so anyone like that who brings you a little bit a joy would, of course, never return. You’re already a late bloomer, and known for your bad decisions, so while you’re very thankful for your job you know it’s not luck that landed you where you are.

But you suck it up, of course. You can’t afford to get distracted. You’re the only one working a shift in the afternoons, and that time is used for cleaning and second-guessing every decision you make, along with doing your best to make damn good coffee. 

But he comes back. More than once. Get his same order, a very plain black coffee with a couple of sugars, and you hand it over across the bar each time, sometimes going out of your way to put it in his hands. Smiling, your handwriting the scrawl on the cup that spells out his name. 

A-A-R-O-N. 

He’s becomes a regular, and you feel comfortable calling him that. It isn’t every day he comes in, not even close. Sometimes he’s gone for three weeks at a time, but he always trails back in, bright and early for a hot cup. Soon, you’re adding smiley faces to the end of his name, and the first time you do it you can’t help but peek out behind the pastry case to watch him see it. 

He smiles. You smile. It’s a win. 

Slowly small talk develops. It’s weeks, pulling little tidbits from him each time you take his order. Basically, what happens is you ramble for too long, he smiles and responds, and the process repeats. 

But he seems to enjoy himself, and you definitely are, and as long as the line isn’t held up, you don’t really mind.

Of course, the days aren’t all peaches and cream (though the peach galette you sell always tastes like it). One day, a slower Tuesday, you’re trying to hide the way your chest aches, after a particularly brutal phone call with your mother that brought tears to your eyes. 

Why are you wasting your time on this – this coffee shop? she had asked. Mocked. You gave up a lot for that dream of yours, and you’re just scraping by –

And you’d tried to explain. You really had. What it meant to you, to start this on your own, to get away from your past, your bad decisions, your spouse. From what was holding you back. But she snapped, and she scolded, and as you closed your eyes and hung up there had been nothing you could do but gasp for air.

Her words overwhelm you behind the counter, and you close your eyes tight at the memory, not realizing that at the same time, the coffee cup you’re holding overflows. 

The coffee scalds you. Because it’s fucking coffee. You let out a cry, dropping the cup all over the floor, grateful it’s only a cardboard one for to-go orders. It splashes your no-longer-clean jeans, and at that moment you’re done. You’re just done. Your hands are shaking, and burned, and you push to the sink in a gasped sob. Your hair falls in your eyes, gets shoved back, and once it falls forward again you reach up to pull at it overwhelmed.

Your name is called out, but you wave the hand that isn’t stinging, splashing water without meaning to when the faucet gets going. “I’m fine, just - just give a minute, I’ll get it right out.” 

“Are you okay?” 

It’s an innocent question. And you should be more put together, it’s a goddamn customer, but your already shitty day just peaks and you whirl around to snap before even processing who’s in front of you. 

“Do I fucking look - oh. Oh, my god.” 

It’s Aaron. With two As. The coffee you spilled? His. The voice. His? The look of concern, one that makes your cheeks flush with a red you haven’t felt in a long time? His. 

Of course. The one time you yell at a customer, and it just happens to the one you have a raging crush on. 

“I’m - I’m so s-sorry,” you stammer. “Like I said, it’ll be right out, I just...” You don’t even know how to recover, instead choosing to turn back to your hand, which luckily is not blistering. It’s just bright red, inflamed. The cold water over it helps, but you can still feel the undercurrent of the sting. However, you still have a job to do and you force yourself to pull way, moving to grab another to-go cup. “I’ll get you a fresh one, okay? Give me a minute.” 

“Put your hand back under the faucet.” It’s not an order, but his voice carries the weight of one, and you blink a few times to stop the tears before moving back to the sink, whimpering as the cool once more rushes over your skin. “Do you need me to go get anything? Is there anyone in the back to help you?” 

You can’t help your snort. It feels snotty with the tears that you’re just barely holding back. Why is he being so nice? You just make the coffee. 

“No. It’s just me this morning. Just my luck, right?” The crushing loneliness of that statement floors you, and you find yourself staring at the running water to avoid his eyes. 

The water is the only noise in the room, besides your occasional sniffle. After a moment, you force yourself to pull back from the water, eyes closing tightly as the pain ramps up again. And Aaron is still there, his eyes holding an intense kind of pity, and you realize his hand is reaching for yours. 

He clears his throat as you raise a brow at the gesture. “I’m not a doctor, but I have a third-grader at home. Burns are nothing new to me.” You give him a weak smile (of course, he’s a father), and he takes your hand gently, looking over it with that classic intensity. He’s furrowing his brow at it for a while, and the whole time he’s just... holding your hand. 

“Your professional opinion?” you ask in a shaky voice, and he hums, turning it over to look at your palm. He looks up at you again, and when he speaks it’s deadpan, brow furrowed. 

“I don’t know. I think we’ll have to cut it off.” 

There’s a beat, and then you’re sputtering out a laugh before you can stop yourself. He smirks before letting you pull your hand back. The pure shock of the statement brings you back from the edge, and the tears in your eyes seem to vanish as you realize you’re giggling, a hectic kind of sound. He doesn’t seem to mind the horrific noises coming from you, though, because he’s still watching you, one hand sliding into his pocket as his face relaxes.

“You’ll be okay. It’ll heal on its own – just make sure if any blisters appear you don’t pop them.” 

He gets a playful glare for his efforts, and you reach for a clean washcloth, soaking it in cold water and wrapping it around the affected hand. 

“Any other advice?” you ask him, and his eyes glance toward the coffee on the floor. 

“No. Fresh out, but. Let me help you clean up.” 

You huff out another laugh. Was he serious? “And ruin your suit?” You gesture to his whole outfit. Hell, he’s got a tie on that screams expensive, shoes that surely are the cost of a full day’s profit. “Trust me. Coffee smell stays with you. And once it’s bad, it’s bad. I’ll get it, after I make you another coffee, one you can actually take with you.” 

He doesn’t seem too convinced. For a moment, he looks almost like he’s going to ignore you, take off his jacket, and grab the mop. But no matter how much you would love to see that, you shake your head, and emphasize it again. “No. I’ll do the cleaning.”

Your stern tone gets him to lift his hands, in surrender. You smile, then, a real one, without much snot, and he starts moving towards the door.

“You’ll have a good day, all right?” He says it so… so confidently, so assuredly. And smoothly pulls out his usual two-dollar tip from his wallet, dropping it in the jar.

“You don’t want your coffee?” you call out, but it’s like he doesn’t hear you. And then he’s leaving, and you’re trying to think of what to say. Something, anything, to thank him for his kindness.

“Wait!” you cry out. You must sound desperate, because he stops and when he turns back to you, you’re rummaging around behind the counter. You almost completely disappear for a moment before you’re popping back up, your prize in hand. 

“Here.” The gift is thrust forward. “To say thank you. Really. You didn’t have to stay, and you did. And. I think my day will be better because of it.” 

He takes it from you, turning it over in his hands. 

“A coffee mug.” 

Suddenly, the gesture feels stupid, and your face flushes as he keeps turning it over in his fingers. “Yeah, I - I would’ve given you a ticket or something, for a free coffee and pastry, but I only printed those for the week of the grand opening. I’m sorry, really, it’s dumb, I can take it back, and we can pretend this never happened -” 

But when he looks up at you, you stop talking. The earth has stopped spinning, as far as you’re concerned. His eyes have wrinkles at the corners, because you suppose that’s what happens when he grins. You find yourself tracing them, unable to pull your gaze away. In this light, he looks brilliant. The shine of the early morning sun is dancing on his features, and you feel like an idiot for even thinking it but it’s all you can think. 

“I can just… I owe you,” you finally say, and to that he shakes his head. 

“No. This is – this is great.” And he means it, chuckling with it.

With a lift of the mug, he turns and goes out the door, leaving you a little agape as the world starts turning once again. And in that moment, the coffee smell is worth it, just so you can watch him disappear from view.

-

Rossi notices because he notices Aaron.

After all, the man’s life is… pretty routine. There are parts about the job that have him yanked all over the place, but the days that they’re at home, it’s methodical. A comfort in a way, knowing that some things never change.

At work before everyone else. Working the day away. Coming down for lunch (or not, depending what he (or Jess) managed to make at home for him and Jack in the evenings). Going back up, and working until everyone else leaves. He takes phone calls and meetings in his office, and every so often one of the team ventures up to interrupt, but. All in all, a pretty straightforward schedule most days of the week.

Dave doesn’t like to burn the midnight oil unless a book’s got him hooked, or get up too early unless there’s something in it for him, and so he’s always trailing in behind him, still before the others but at a time that’s sane.

Until one day. Aaron comes in a little later, later enough to catch the same elevator, and there’s a look on his face that’s a little… hurried.

There’s a cursory scan – no rumpled clothing, no identifying marks. And Aaron knows that he has eyes on him, because he ducks his head, not looking in his direction. Besides, Hotch isn’t exactly the type for one-night-stands, and so Dave rules it out with a nod and a press of the elevator button.

“Dave,” the unit chief acknowledges, and then steps off of the elevator once they arrive.

So. Something’s up.

Dave doesn’t confront him immediately, though. Just lingers, watches. Hotch knows that eyes are on him, but Rossi’s good enough that that doesn’t matter, especially when it happens again. Another elevator ride together,

“So,” he asks his friend, glancing at him out of the corner of his eye. “Who’s got you running late?”

There’s not an immediate answer. Hell, the guy almost looks chastened at it, like Rossi’s scolding him for coming in at 7:45 instead of 7:15. How dare he make it in only fifteen minutes before eight in the morning?

“There’s this… coffee shop I like to hit before work. Stumbled into it one morning, and…” Hotch murmurs. He pauses, and the numbers keep climbing.

“Yes?”

If anything, Hotch’s face seems to flame, working his jaw for a second as he considers telling Dave what he already figures. “The barista. Think they own it, too, and makes good coffee in the mornings.”

Rossi doesn’t say anything at first. Just chuckles, shaking his head a bit.

“Well. Have you gotten this owner’s number?”

The silence is very telling, and Rossi just laughs.

“Come on, Aaron. What’s the worst that could happen?”

“Well, a rejection, for one,” Hotch replies with a look shot Dave’s way, but the older man just shakes his head again.

“Rejecting a handsome FBI agent who frequently pays the bills? Nah, I think you’ve got it,” he says, with a hand reaching to smack Aaron on the back. It’s that he leaves him with, along with another call over his shoulder.

“Y’know, once you get the number, you probably won’t have to spend so much on coffee!”

-

The days continue to pass by. Slowly, and surely, your little place seems to get some attention. More customers, more regulars. You manage to remember the names of your people most of the time, too, when the late nights keeping books and thinking of new bakery ideas don’t run away from you. And with those days, Aaron remains.

He still comes in the morning, at the asscrack of dawn. Of course, you don’t call it the asscrack of dawn in front of him, but often you’re still yawning when he comes in and asks for his order. And with it, since he’s so early, he stays to chat more and more. Sometimes, you see him glance at his watch, and excuse himself in a rush, and you can’t help but feel a little thrill at the thought that he just… likes talking to you that much.

There’s worry with it, too. What if he just feels so obligated to stick around? Are you forcing him to stay back longer than he needs to? But those fears are squashed by the way he always looks back to wave at you, lifting the cup of coffee you made him.

Of course, right after that he’s gone.

It’s like he vanishes. No sign of him in the mornings, and you feel a little bit of sorrow over the loss. But of course, immediately there’s a bit of embarrassment with that sorrow. You barely knew the guy, was he really worth a bit of mourning? But he truly just disappears, and for a moment your head comes up with crazy explanations as a way to cope without your early morning conversations, deal with the continued exhaustion that weighs on you as your business grows.

All hope is not lost, however, because it’s another late night into early morning balancing books when you see Aaron next.

It’s been a couple of weeks. You don’t exactly know what he does, but you know it’s something that requires the suit and tie, so you figure it’s important. Maybe a business trip, or something else that kept him away from your shop, but either way, it doesn’t matter. Because he’s back, and he gives you a little smile when you take his order, even when you can only yawn your way through it. The conversations even flow, like they did before, another source of incredible joy.

“I’m so sorry,” you say, on the tail end of yet another jaw-popping yawn. “I don’t know what’s gotten into me.” Your hands lift above your head in a stretch, and his gaze drops to the tip jar where he deposits his normal amount: two dollar bills.

“We all have those mornings,” he says with a chuckle. “It’s not a problem.”

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you have a morning like this,” you tease. Your hands move easily, even in your exhaustion, making his usual order with a flourish. Two sugars, in a little to-go cup, coffee over the top to make sure it’s mixed in. “What’s your secret? Don’t tell me you’re an energy drink fanatic. I’d feel like you were going behind my back.”

“No, no. Just your coffee,” he returns, and it’s easy. Comes out of him without any thought. If you blush, you hope he doesn’t notice, because your face is turned to his cup to make sure it doesn’t overflow.

“You’re too kind.” Lid on top, secured tightly, and when you turn back to him and hand it over, he doesn’t turn away. His comment makes you feel bold, too, so the name you write on it has a winky-face instead of a smiley-face. “Don’t stay away too long, my good days always come when you’re my first customer,” you add, and something seems to… shift.

Because Aaron doesn’t turn away. Smiles at you, at the coffee cup, and then glances back behind him. There’s no one else in the shop, there never is this early – it becomes known around the city as a good place to get a quick bite later in the day, set up and do some studying for a while since the black cups of coffee can be bottomless. But he checks anyway and then passes his coffee cup from one to the other, reaches into his jacket pocket and pulls out a little card.

“I was… politely encouraged by a coworker to take the leap,” he admits, and your heart is pounding in your chest. You’re offered the little white cardstock, and when you look at it, you see his full name. It feels like a momentous occasion, Aaron-with-two-As shifting to Aaron Hotchner. “And if you’re willing, I would love to go on a date with you. Get to know you more.”

Then there’s a pause, and there’s a cloud of… something. You watch it come and go, and the whole time you just offer the same smile, a smile that seems to rouse him of whatever he’s thinking about.

“But, if you don’t want to, I understand. My work life is pretty hectic, as I’m sure you can guess, and I know you know I have a son –“

“I would love to.”

It’s the easiest thing to say, because you feel it with every fiber of your being. Because Aaron Hotchner seems like a really sweet guy, who works in Quantico and still comes by your coffee shop every morning he can.

“Really, Aaron. I would. As you can guess, my schedule’s pretty routine, but I do close as of right now, so, our dinners might have to be later rather than earlier –“

“Dinners?” he says it with a small smile, and you flush at the slip.

“I didn’t mean to… assume anything, but. Whatever we get a chance to do, or keep doing, I would love to. Just. Give me a second.”

You don’t wait any longer. Your fingers move to your phone, input his number, and immediately send him a text, with your name. When his phone buzzes, you smirk.

“Now you have mine, too. Easy as pie.”

When he leaves, that day, it feels like something special. You don’t know what, just yet, but it feels new, and bright, and good.

Yeah, you think to yourself, I hope we get to do at least a couple of dinners.

-

Emily notices next.

It’s a later night. The whole team has their nose buried in something, whether it be a consult or a report or, God forbid, something for Strauss. There’s work to be done, and unfortunately the jet life is only a small part of it.

She’s working on a report that particular evening. This case ended a few days ago, but since shots were fired it’s taken longer to sort through. Positioning, discharge time, how many shots, where, at who, with who. A nightmare, but incredibly necessary, and she’s done with it soon enough.

Her coat mocks her as she rises to her feet. So close to picking it up, dressing, and heading out the door. But she mentally promises to be right back, that home is just a little visit to Hotch’s office away.

She climbs the steps, and is glad to see the door is cracked open, that warm lamplight is filtering out from the open blinds. It means that when she knocks, he’ll let her in.

A couple taps of her knuckles. She waits a beat, two. No response.

Huh.

Another tap. Tries to peek in, but the door is just open enough that she can only glance in with one eye. She’s not usually one to snoop without the pushing from Derek or Penelope, but her eyes are tired and she’s ready for a night in with Sergio.

Is he... is he on his phone?

His cell phone?

And smiling?

Her eyes widen a bit, and she pulls back immediately. At this point in the night, Hotch is nothing but business. Tired, like all the rest, and if he’s bent over anything, it’s a file he needs to sign off on. Maybe Jack. Maybe he got a picture from Jess…

But he’s... distracted. And she knows Hotch’s smile when he’s looking at Jack, and what she had seen is not that.

She knocks again. A lot louder, and when he responds, it’s quick. But not quick enough. There’s a beat, and she narrows her eyes.

“Come in.” 

She pushes into the room, file in both hands. Immediately her eyes drop to his desk, but his cell is gone. She looks up at him, and he’s looking at her, like nothing’s the matter, like he wasn’t just smiling at his phone –

“Prentiss?” he asks. Brows furrowed at her, their permanent state. 

She’s brought back to reality. Because that’s what this is, reality. He was probably just... looking at a picture, or a video, or… something. “Right. Sorry. Just finished up my report for the Douglass case. Wanted to drop it off before I headed out.” 

“I’ll sign off on it tonight,” he tells her, and he bends over an open file on his desk. Like nothing ever happened. “Thank you, agent.”

She thinks on that, jogging down to her desk. Glances behind her at the shine of the light from his office. Pulls her coat on, flicks her hair over the collar.

Huh.

-

Getting to know Aaron Hotchner is a joy.

It’s a little complicated, finding a date that works for the both of you. Not because of anything other than clashing schedules, and it’s a good learning experience to realize that Aaron Hotchner is always on call. But there are points when he’s home, and free, and you finally are churning enough profit for someone else to close in the evenings, so the nights are what work the best.

And dinner is… great. It’s fantastic, really, and you get to know Aaron Hotchner as that, not just Aaron with the great smile and lines at the corner of the eyes. Well, he definitely still has the great smile, but now you know the whole person.

He tells you about his job, what it means to him, and it feels like you’re truly getting to know him. You can tell he’s passionate about what he does, helping people, and you find yourself enthralled by the way he speaks about his position, his team.

“Sometimes it hurts, knowing what we’re leaving behind when we fly back,” he tells you. “But. I also know there isn’t any other group of people I could this with. None of us are perfect, but when we’re together I know we can get the job done.”

Aaron doesn’t get animated, exactly. His passion is a quiet one, simmering deep within him, right where his heart is. He doesn’t talk with his hands, gesticulate or raise his voice. No, he talks with his eyes. In the way he locks gazes with you, looks up at you from the meal, in the way they crinkle with his little smiles and get warm when he mentions his son.

You’re captivated.

And he gets to know you, too, a little. A lot, really, and you feel like you’re rambling, but you’ve got his full attention, a little smile behind his clasped hands as he listens to you wax poetic about the inherent romanticism of owning your own café.

Well. Not really, but it feels like it comes pretty close to that lecture (a different lecture, for a different time).

After all, it’s your place. It’s a place for the college kids in the mornings and the evenings who suck down your cold brew incessantly. It’s a place for the workers at after sunrise, who just want a quick treat before sitting down and doing real jobs. For the curious in the afternoons, who run their fingers over your bookshelves and sit down for a place to think. It’s a place for the nerdy, and the lazy, and the studious, and the dreamers. It’s yours, and it’s kind of romantic.

“I know it’s not a lot of people’s dreams, to open a café. It’s… childish, as my mother would say,” you tell him. “But it’s more than just a shop to me. It’s owning a business, running something on my own, creating new things for people to try. It’s perfecting my bakes, and now, teaching others to. Coming up with recipes is one of my favorite things, even more than the latte flavor of the month. Giving people a place to come and be comfortable, y’know?”

You’re rambling again, and you find yourself hiding behind a sip of your wine, but he’s nodding. Like he gets it.

“I don’t think it’s childish at all,” he tells you, in a tone that makes your heart swell. “A dream is a dream, isn’t it? We all have them.”

And maybe you’re putting a lot on Aaron Hotchner, but it’s nice to get to know someone who understands, even just a little.

One date turns into two, and then three. They’re spread out, over a couple of weeks, the two of you stealing a few hours when you can. It’s the dating life of two very busy people, but neither of you mind. Each pairing of dinner and drinks is full of life and laughter and a little bit of something else.

You feel so guilty when the next time you’re meant to spend time together, another late evening, has to get pushed back. Aaron had warned you that the first cancellation would probably come from him, but it’s you texting at 5:30, letting him know that your usual closer bailed because of the flu.

It’s not a problem for me to take over, but it means that I’m going to be here until 10:00 or 10:30 cleaning up and prepping the dough for tomorrow morning. :(, you say, and add the frowny face for effect. You prefer them over emojis, just because you can’t draw emojis on coffee cups.

Frowny faces are pretty serious, he quips, but your little chuckle is weak when you read it in between orders.

I’m so, so sorry, I know it’s last minute.

Don’t worry, he texts back, quick as can be. I promise I understand. We’ll just do next week.

You’re sure? I can try and find someone to cover for an hour, at 7:30 or so.

Don’t put that stress on yourself. Next week, and it’ll be extra special to make up for it.

So that’s that. Your heart breaks a little knowing you won’t see him, but his words make you feel a little less guilty. Only marginally, really, but you have other things to focus on, like the onslaught of cleaning that comes after the doors are locked.

At 9:30, you’re sending the last stragglers away, which gets you a late start to cleaning up. Your stomach is rumbling, too, because dinner at your home didn’t end up happening.

But at 10:00, when all seems lost, and you’re realizing that 10:30 is going to be more like 11:00, Aaron’s there.

At first you don’t even realize it’s him. You’re so focused on scrubbing and cleaning the espresso machine that the person standing outside isn’t even a thought. But then your phone buzzes, and when you look over, it’s him, with a bag of something that looks like food.

You going to leave me out in the cold?

You snort at the text, shaking your head, lifting your hands and showing the suds to him through the glass. “Two minutes,” you mouth over, and he smiles at that. At you.

You’re hurrying to wash and dry your hands on the towel at your waist, and when you make your way to the door he hasn’t stopped smiling at you. The door unlocks with a clank, and when you pull it open the cold air rushes in, along with Aaron Hotchner. Of course, it’s hard to acknowledge him, when you can smell what he brought you.

“Aren’t I the one who’s supposed to be making it up to you?” you remind him, but there’s something weak in your voice when you feel him pull you into a hug. With it, you feel his lips gently press against your hair.

It’s exactly what you needed. A break, some food, and him. And even though it’s only for a short moment, fifteen minutes while you scarf down what he’s brought you, knowing he was there is what pushes you through the end of the night.

And the fact that Aaron sticks around to stack the chairs, his jacket off and sleeves rolled up?

It helps a little bit, too.

-

Derek’s embarrassed, but he’s the last to catch on. And only because it’s right in his face. 

To be fair, he wasn’t exactly looking. There were other things to worry about, bigger fish to fry, and Hotch’s love life wasn’t exactly top of the list. But Emily mentions the possibility, and then Garcia, and then even Rossi makes a comment that gets him a dirty look from the boss.

Coming together to gossip about Hotch’s love life is at the very least entertaining and watching the team watch their boss becomes Derek’s pastime. Emily swears that he’s always texting someone with a grin on his face, and Garcia informs them of Hotch’s newest mug and his eyes as he did so (yeah, his eyes). Rossi doesn’t play along as much as the others would prefer, but he has a glint in his gaze when they bring it up.

Derek even does his best to spy, peek around corners when he knows Hotch is close, but even with his best efforts, he comes up empty-handed. For a minute, he almost thinks the team is pulling a prank on him, but his girl insists that something’s up.

“Baby, the look on his face. I’ve never seen such a wistful look at an innocuous cup of coffee before.” The two of them are lingering in her office after a long day, his offer of a ride home keeping him behind while she finishes something on her screens.

His snort comes with a shake of his head. “I’d believe it was indigestion at this point, over… what? A fling?”

“It’s Hotch,” Garcia laughs. She reaches up, poking Derek in that arm. “You really think he’s the type of have a fling? No. Whoever it is, they matter, and matter enough that he has not let that mug come off of his desk. He uses it every day, Derek. Every. Day.”

Point taken, but Derek is still skeptical. It’s a coffee mug.

He takes the bait, though. He watches and waits. Observes. But Hotch is often a door that stays closed.

Until everything seems to go to shit one day and he has to open up.

It’s a really bad case, and the jet is a last-minute decision. The whole team thinks they’re going home, after just landing back, and end up with thirty minutes to pack for a plane back to Nashville. Sure, Derek understands, but he has plans he has to cancel, too (plans that Emily teases him relentlessly about once it all calms down). Overall, not the best way to end the week.

Everyone goes to make their respective phone calls, or at least, those that need to. But before Derek can put his phone up to his ear, moving to the conference room for some privacy, he hears him.

Hotch.

He’s just on the other side, and talking softly, but the sudden shift means not much else is happening besides last-minute packing. So Derek hears, and he eavesdrops.

And he listens.

“I’m so sorry to do this to you. I know that there wasn’t any warning –“ Hotch immediately starts, but whoever is on the other end must him off. He follows it up with the slightest hum and it’s… warm. It makes Derek’s eyebrow lift, but he keeps his distance, tries to glance around the corner.

Hotch is sitting, leaning on the edge of the round table. His legs are crossed, and his face is tilted downward. He looks pained, with the furrow in his brow, but the person on the other end seems to be talking sense. After all, Hotch lifts his hand and wipes, and the furrow is gone, and he’s smiling again.

“I know, but. Putting it into practice is still hard for me. Jack… he’s… he’s a strong kid, but I know days like these are the hardest.”

There’s some more words from the person on the other end of the line. Hotch smiles, a small private thing and Derek sees, in that moment, what Penelope means. About it being… different. And in that moment, Hotch is thrown back to Haley, and it looked like for his boss to get to talk to her.

There’s an echo of that here.

“I owe you, really. Jess will come and relieve you as soon as she can… Okay. Thank you, again, and I’ll call you when we land back in Nashville, okay? And if I could talk to Jack, then… Perfect. Okay. Have a good night, yeah?”

Derek’s gone, before Hotch finishes his conversation. His hand is holding his phone up to his ear, walking down towards the stairs. But there’s no one on the other end, and all he can think about is how Penelope is going to say how much she told him so.

-

Three dates turn into ten. There are dinners and lunches and time stolen when the two of you can. There’s coffee in the mornings and decaf in the evenings. He teases you for it, your downright addiction, but a couple of kisses that taste like French vanilla follow it.

It’s sweet. And you like the way he tastes even without the coffee on his lips.

However, you know it’s more than just sweet dates. There’s layers to Aaron Hotchner, ones that get peeled back alongside yours. It’s opening up to each other, on walks after dinner. Those are good, the two of you, side-by-side, because it’s an even playing field. No bar between the two of you, no coffee shop, no badge. Just. You both.

You tell him about home, and what it meant to leave. He’s seen the impact of your mother, the way she winds you up and leave you hanging, but you tell him about the tan line on your ring finger. The way you were left broken and nowhere to go but away to follow a dream, because the dream was the only lifeline you had left. What else could you do, with a hobby and a throwaway degree in business admin?

He tells you about Haley. About her laugh, about her smile. About the way they would poke and prod and teach each other until the two of them were rolling on the floor. You see how much he loved her, how much he loves her still. And when he talks about Jack, well, there’s nothing that can stop him from absolutely gushing, and you don’t want him to. Seeing this just affirms that Jack’s the luckiest kid in the world to have a father that cares about him so much.

There are layers, to each of you. But like a good chocolate-filled croissant, the insides are worth it.

And you get to meet Jack, and Jess. Finally, it feels like, after hearing so much about each of them. The four of you end up going to the zoo, on a weekend, an outing with Aunt Jess and Dad’s new friend, and by the end of it you’re smitten with all of them. Because Jack gets a lot from his father. A fierce protectiveness, a kind heart, incredible perception, and a love of chocolate ice cream.

“Do you like chocolate?” he asks you, suddenly, as the four of you eat your scoops from the vendor. Hotch and Jess are chatting, so they don’t hear the question.

“I like chocolate a lot,” you tell him. “What about you?”

He seems to ponder it a second, before shrugging, taking a long lick of his cone. “It’s all right. Second favorite to mint chip, but above cookie dough.”

You laugh a little, seeing the logic. “I see. I think if you switch cookie dough and mint chip, we’re on the same page there, buddy.”

He nods. “What about my dad? Where does he go?”

It’s a jump you can’t connect, and you raise a brow at him, stopping in your tracks and Jack doing the same.

“On the list. Of things you like. Where’s Dad go?”

“Oh.” Your cheeks are flushing, and you realize that Jess and Aaron have stopped their conversation, are watching the two of you. But there’s only one true answer, and you smile at him. “Well, he’s at the top of the list, Jack. I really like your dad, and… I hope I can keep spending time with the two of you. And Aunt Jess, of course.”

There’s a beat. Jack takes a long lick of his cone, getting some on his nose, and then shrugs again, a little bashful as he looks at you again.

“Yeah, that’d be cool. I like talking to you. And Aunt Jess doesn’t like chocolate, so I like that you’re on my team.”

You try to ignore the warmth that immediately floods you, especially when you look back behind you and Aaron is watching, his head ducked behind his cone so you can only see the edges of his smile. “I like being on your team, too,” you agree, leaning forward to offer a napkin, and Jess just chuckles, the four of you continuing on your merry way.

Things push forward. And some days are harder than others.

It’s complicated, after all. The more you learn about Aaron’s job, the more you realize how much he gives to it. And some of those days leave him worn down. You do your best to support him, to support all of them. And in return, they do the same for you.

The call comes in the middle of the day, and when you see it’s from Aaron you immediately smile. Your hands are elbow deep in a yeasted dough you’re kneading for fresh cinnamon rolls, but you’re able to lean down and answer it with your nose.

“Just a second, sweetheart.” You pull your hands from the mess, move to lift your phone to your shoulder and trap it with your ear. You feel a crick in your neck immediately, but it’s worth it. “Hey, sorry. I’m at the shop. Didn’t want to put you on speaker.”

“It’s okay,” he returns, and he sounds tired. Even in two words, it seems like he has to take a breath, to steady himself. “How’s the day going?”

You shrug, humming as you continue to work the ball of dough under your knuckles. “It’s all right. Ashley is running the register and Ben’s helping her work the front. They’re doing a good job. Makes it easy to focus on the good stuff.”

Aaron chuckles, just a little. It’s reserved. “You should bring some samples home to Jack, then. He loves taste-testing for you.”

There’s a pause, both in your hands and your response.

“Just Jack, then.”

His breath comes out again. Long and low. “Yeah. The case… we thought we had it solved, and then. Something came up. We’re flying back again, waiting for the jet to refuel.”

You know what that means. Even if he doesn’t often tell you, directly, outright, you know that it means another body. Another life lost. “Oh, sweetheart.”

“I had already called Jess, told her I’d be picking up Jack. Would you mind going to get him? I don’t want to jerk her around.”

“Of course.” It’s immediate, and you glance at your watch, blowing off remnants of flour. “He gets out at 4:00?”

“Yeah. I’m so sorry to do this to you, I know there wasn’t any warning –“

You click your tongue. “It’s not a problem. You know that. Besides, this dough rests overnight, and I can do some experimenting using your incredible oven, hmm?”

Aaron just lets out a little chuckle. There seems to be some relief there, but you can’t tell right away. “I know, but. Putting it into practice is still hard for me. Jack… he’s… he’s a strong kid, but I know days like these are the hardest.”

You nod, giving your neck a little stretch as you lift your shoulder to carry the load of the phone. “I know. It’s hard for him, and for you. But it’ll work out, okay? Just promise me you’ll be safe, for all of us.”

“I owe you, really,” he tells you. “Jess will come and relieve you as soon as she can…”

“She doesn’t need to rush. We’ve got it.”

And with that, you know it’s a load off of his mind. One you can take from him. “Okay. Thank you, again, and I’ll call you when we land back in Nashville, okay? And if I could talk to Jack, then…”

“I’ll make sure he’s available,” you reassure him, and his little sigh is… just what you needed to hear. To know that his head will be where it needs to be when he flies.

“Perfect. Okay. Have a good day, yeah?”

“I will. I love you.”

It comes out. Automatically. Your hands stop working again, and you feel color on your cheeks. Aaron doesn’t say anything either, and the two of you seem to sit in a kind of dangerous limbo.

But then he just chuckles. A sound on the receiver, like he’s standing to his feet. “I love you, too.”

“Be safe.”

It’s a gentle farewell, and you can’t help but stare at your phone as it resumes its place on the countertop, staring at the screensaver you have. The two of you, and Jack, looking up at the camera.

It works. It’s complicated, and comes from nowhere, but it works. The three of you, working together to build something special. You’ll never replace Haley, but you don’t to. It’s new, and brilliant, and happy, and you find that you have another dream taking shape, one that has the Hotchners front and center.

-

(And Reid? Well.

Spencer’s not unaware. Spencer actually puts all of the pieces together before almost anyone else, including your identity.

“I think you’ll find that I’m what you would call perceptive. Very perceptive.”

That’s what he says to Derek, at least, when he asks him how he already knew who the mystery date was. Dave offers Hotch a plus-one to a night over at the Rossi mansion for the team and their significant others, and Hotch actually takes him up on it. That’s when they meet you, for the first time, but Reid’s the only one who doesn’t seem to be surprised who walks through the door.

But no one else has been to the coffee shop that’s on the mug, or has seen the person that Hotch has been texting and calling, and… well.

Spencer has had the pleasure of doing both all in one morning. Because next to the coffee shop you work at is a bookstore specializing in rare editions, and one day Spencer decides to go before work.

He adds a little eyebrow wiggle to his words for Derek’s sake, too, which gets him punched in the shoulder.

It’s worth it.)

-

“You didn’t have to bring me breakfast,” you tell him, crossing your arms over your chest.

It’s a little firm, especially since you now know that Aaron’s drives have been fifteen minutes longer to stop at your place. The direct route to the FBI Headquarters breezes right by you, and getting off and stopping is definitely out of the way.

But he doesn’t care. And truly you don’t, when it’s him and you realize that the bag he has contains one warm sausage roll, and a glazed donut, fresh from the shop by his place. that melts when you bite into it. “I know you didn’t eat anything, and you hate trying to snack on the stuff you have yet to sell in the morning,” he says. Shrugging, as if it’s that simple, because to him, it is. “And I wanted to.”

“Did you get something for yourself, too?” you ask him.

“I wasn’t the one who had to leave in a hurry, was I?” he teases. His eyes are deep and dark, and you get caught in them when you catch his meaning.

Your face turns a crimson that he smirks at, leans forward to make it brighter with a kiss on your cheek. “Well, I wasn’t the one who was insisting on some last minute… affection,” you shoot back, but all that elicits is a low chuckle from him, all bass and gravel. “Besides, Mr. Profiler – question with a question. You didn’t eat, did you?”

He doesn’t answer, choosing instead to lean against the countertop you’re sitting on, watching as you pull out the two treats and placing them on some napkins you have right at the front. But his non-answer is definitely a ‘no,’ and you give him a look.

“One day I’m going to teach you to take care of yourself as well as you take care of others, okay? Here. We’ll split ‘em.”

You snag a plastic knife, and get to work, and soon there are two perfectly portioned plates of pastry in front of the two of you. It’s early enough that customers aren’t exactly a problem, and so you don’t feel guilty sitting on the counter when you know you’ll wipe it down, or leaning down to kiss some glaze off of his lips since there’s no one to see or an order to distract you from.

Of course, neither of you notice the eyes that happen to glance in the window. Not when Hotch is standing between your legs, facing away from the glass, and not when you pull back just to look into his eyes, and in the end it doesn’t matter that a tall and lanky fellow profiler managed to sneak a peek.

Because that’s when you start to feel that your luck has really changed. The early morning before the workday, when the world just starts to come alive. There, in your shop, before the sign has even been flipped to open.

And there, in your coffee shop, as you sit on the counter, you realize that Aaron-with-two-As, standing between your legs, could possibly be the love of your life after all.

tag list: @emilyxprentiss // @genevievedarcygranger // @quillvine // @falcon-arrows // @afuckingshituniverse // @sercyan // @sparklingkeylimepie // @kianagilder-blog // @alexxcorona113 // @mandyandy22 // @thedeaddrop // @angelsbabey // @lolychu // @icyprincess // @gabbygabbie // @cevanswhre // @roses-and-grasses // @mayaaaa // @baadmaxx // @ssaic-jareau // @mooneylupinblack // @rachelxwayne // @greenie128 // @dilaudidwinchester // @stylesboy // @grandpascurtains // @softbibxtch // @winterscaptain // @hurricanejjareau

[missdawnandherdusk]

The Year of O.W.L.s

(Hufflepuff*)!Reader x Draco

Down there

I know there's tons of burdens I must bear

But from up here

The world looks so small

And suddenly life seems so clear

Fourth Year    The First Summer

Summary: The events of the first semester of your fifth year unfold at Hogwarts and more than your fair share of obstacles head your way. 

A/n: Hello my darlings! So this is from September to December 21st, or the end of the first term at Hogwarts. Don’t dismay at the short time span: This part is over 13k words. I’ve been trying to finish this chapter in lue of what’s happening to offer some escape, so the last bit (thousand words or so) isn’t fine tuned, but I doubt you’ll notice. I love you all so much. Please stay safe and stay creative and always keep fighting. (P.S. some of the canon of the book is changed obviously)

Two people knew what I was doing in the beginning. Then four. Then those four and the rest of my teachers. Then the Head girl for Hufflepuff. The latter knew I would be silent for a month. It had started in the middle of July and would go to the middle of September. It was important that I didn’t say a word. There was something much greater at stake. Something that would take practice and a lot of patience. The latter didn’t know why.

The only one who didn’t know anything, the one that I was doing it for, was Draco. And those that did know, swore secrecy, so Draco would never know. Not unless I decided to tell him.

I barely avoided complete failure twice.

The first time, I almost slipped up the day I had gotten my prefect badge. In my excitement, I had forgotten the task at hand until my mother reminded me and I had to calm myself once more. It was great for my anxiety, this task I took on. It kept my thoughts occupied for the moment and something to focus on.

The second, was when I saw Draco at the train station. Under his father’s gaze, he said nothing to me, and hardly looked my way, confirming my suspicions about his summer silence. Yet, we were both prefects, and as such we were forced together in a small train compartment. Ernie Macmillan, the other Hufflepuff prefect, said hello. I smiled and nodded. Draco didn’t say anything as the Head boys and girls from the different houses took turns explaining what was expected of us all.

“Y/n,” Draco’s voice was quiet and soft as he lingered behind.

I paused, taking a deep breath in, remembering my trial. He couldn’t be the reason that I erred. I grit my teeth in hopes that it would help.

“You have every reason to be mad,” He began softly, his voice barely audible. “I was an arse, and I know it. But you have to understand—”

I raised an eyebrow at him. The first week he didn’t write back was crushing, the second week, I was furious, the third, I started my task. It gave me time to think, and to find my own reasons of why he treated me the way he did, and more time to choose to believe in the good ones.

“Will you say something!?” He demanded, stalking towards me.

And I started to. But, with my eyes squeezed shut, despair washing over me, I fled, back to the train compartment that held Abby and my other friends. Tears slipped down my cheeks as I watched the rain patter against the train window.

“You need to tell him Y/n,” Abby chided.

She wasn’t quite taken with my defense of Draco dropping off the face of the earth for the past month, but she stood by my side and somehow still supported my decision. Abby knew why I was silent; she was one of the first two to know.

I gave her an exasperated look and leaned my head back against the compartment wall with a soft thud, closing my eyes.

______________________________

Draco knew you’d be mad, but at least he thought you’d talk to him. More likely yell at him, but your silence was deafening. Then he found out from Pansy, that you weren’t talking to anyone. At all. In class, teachers never called on you, and you never said hello to anyone in the halls. You didn’t even speak to Abby. It wasn’t dismissive, just not natural.

He didn’t want you to have to vow silence because he broke your trust in him. He wanted you to be mad at him and that was all. He still wanted you to be you. He needed that, even if he had let you go to keep you safe.

“Answer me, you foolish girl,” The grating voice of Umbridge caught his attention.

He looked up and saw that you were staring at her in horror, refusing to speak. Umbridge was towering over you—barely as she had an inch on you—her wand shoved under your chin.

Abby quickly rushed over and Draco stood, spilling his bottle of ink over his transfiguration notes, taking a step toward you before remembering that you were mad at him and probably didn’t want him swooping in and playing hero.

“Ma’am, with all due respect, Y/n can’t talk, I’m sure you got her mother’s letter?” Abby defended.

“I don’t care what her mother says or what the Headmaster says. There is no excuse for her not to answer a simple question.” The witch in pink dismissed Abby and turned her beady glare back to you.

There were tears in your eyes, utter brokenness on your face. He knew that you would give in and speak out of pure fear, throwing away whatever you had been working toward, even if you wouldn’t tell him what it was.

And Merlin damn him if he was going to let that happen. You could be mad at him fine, but he wasn’t going to see you get hurt when he could do something.

“Is there a problem here Professor?” Draco walked up to you and Umbridge, taking a step between the two of you inconspicuously, allowing space for you. His heart leapt as he left your hand softly on his back, clinging to his robe.

“Mr. Malfoy,” Umbridge pressed her lips into a tight line. “I hope you are not preventing me from reprimanding a student.”

“He is not,” Another voice came floating down the hall. “But i am.”

Draco caught sight of stark blue eyes and a stern face and never in his life was he happier to see Professor McGonagall. Professor Sprout and Abby flanked her, all looking quite intimidating as they flowed down the hall.

“I wasn’t aware that you had jurisdiction over her, she is not of your house after all,” Umbridge seethed, taking a step away.

“She is of mine however,” Professor Sprout took a step forward, extending her hand to you. You quickly rushed over and cowered behind her. “And you will respect her wishes as well as the wishes of her mother and of the Headmaster,”

Umbridge, seeing that she was clearly cornered, tutted and turned dramatically, her heels clicking down the hall as she receded.

“Are you alright my child?” Sprout asked you softly.

A gentle nod came from you.

“She didn’t jeopardize it, did she?” McGonagall asked.

You shook your head. Your hand rose to your mouth, three fingers touched your lips and then you extended your arm down. It was an odd gesture he thought.

“You’re quite welcome,” McGonagall smiled. “Come to me when the week is done,”

You nodded again and Abby grabbed your arm, ushering you out of the study room and down the hall. He stared, not sure what he just witnessed. McGonagall caught his stare and raised an eyebrow at him.

“She will tell you when she is ready,” Was all she said then turned to leave, Sprout next to her.

Draco stood there, dumbfounded, before heading back to his seat and trying to salvage his notes what had a pool of black ink in the middle of them. He stole glances at you, and he could see again, you were using your hands in weird motions, and Abby was responding. Not a word left you lips but still you two were in an argument.

He caught your gaze from across the room, and you looked at him. Sadness filled your eyes and your fist came to your chest and made a circular motion before you turned back to Abby.

It was a few days later when he saw you again. It happened at dinner in the Great Hall with his friends, a commonality for the Slytherin house to eat together by year level.

“So how was your summer?” Draco asked Pansy offhandedly.

“You know, travelling in Paris again.” She sighed, getting a mischievous glint in her eyes. “What about you lover boy?”

“Lover boy?” Crabbe snickered. “You got yourself someone to fancy Malfoy?”

Draco scoffed and fought the urge to snap and defend you blatantly. He had to do this right.

 “It was nothing major,” Draco played coy.

“We know you Draco, tell me how far did you get with her?” Goyle grinned, nudging his side. 

“Honestly, show some decorum you two,” Draco muttered. “It wasn’t like that,” He scoffed. 

“So, she put up a fight then?” Pansy smirked at him.

“No, of course not.” Draco folded his arms. “Seriously, get your heads out of the gutters you three.” Then he grinned mischievously, stealing a glance your way. “But she was good, if you know what I mean,”

Everyone listening into their conversation started cheering him on and he gave a bemused smirk, satisfied.

“Weren’t your parents away all month too?” Pansy drawled, catching his game. Draco gave a small nod and a wicked grin, laughing when Crabbe and Goyle nearly lost it. 

“So, what happened?”

“Well, the summer ended.” Draco shrugged nonchalantly. “I told her we could still be friends,”

His eyes met yours from across the hall. There was a deep blush on your cheeks and almost a sheepish smile as you looked at him. He noticed that you were talking again, and he was quite relieved that you were getting back to normal, and maybe you didn’t hate him completely.

__________________________________

Meanwhile...

“You’re talking!” Abby exclaimed. “Is it done?” Her tone lowered.

“For now,” I smiled, sitting at the Hufflepuff table in the great hall, still signing the words.

“So, what did you do this summer?” Ernie, my fellow prefect, asked, sitting with us as well as a few other Hufflepuffs. “Now that you’re talking again,”

“Well, my summer couldn’t have been as interesting as Y/n’s,” Abby grinned evilly. “She got herself a summer love,”

My face went red as everyone looked to me. Ernie was skeptical, but the other girls—Hannah, Janis, Taylor, and Emme—we’re all hopeful.

“Well... he was sweet,” I stammered, my eyes darting to Draco sitting across the Hall. “It all happened so fast,” I signed a word here and there before pressing my hands into my lap.

“We need details! Y/n!” Emme squealed, grinning. “Was it love at first sight?” 

Abby and I both laughed as I shook my head.

“Goodness no,” I chuckled. “I don’t know what to say. We spent the afternoons together for a month at his place. I read to him and he showed me the grounds... and well,”

“How much did he spend on you?” Hannah piped up, looking awestruck.

“Nothing,” I insisted, smiling to myself. “He was charming. Very different from what I expected, but sweet,”

“Look, she’s blushing,” Emme teased. “Awe, you really like him,” 

“So, what happened?” Ernie asked, slightly more invested.

“Well,” I looked down, gnawing on my lip. “It ended, I guess. School started and...” I shrugged softly, my eyes landing on familiar blue ones.

“Does he go here?” Hannah wondered aloud.

My eyes snapped up, wide in panic.

“No!” Abby and I both said together then started to giggle.

“We’re going to figure out who it is,” Emme threatened. “Might as well tell us now,” 

“I bet it’s Malfoy,” Ernie muttered under his breath.

I looked at him, my cheeks turning a darker red, biting my lip.

“No!” They all gasped as if it were a scandal.

“He’s actually really sweet guys,” I argued softly. “You saw him last year, at the Year End Feast...” I muttered sheepishly.

“But he’s a Slytherin!” Hannah was aghast.

“Not over the summer! I don’t know, Houses didn’t really interfere... we just were,” I leaned my elbows on the table.

“Awe, I want one,” Emme sighed wistfully.

The table broke out into laughter as the conversation shifted, my eyes stealing glances to the Slytherin table more than once.

.......................................

The Night You Started Talking Again....

Professor McGonagall with the aid of Professor Sprout both aided me that night of the full moon. They vowed to keep my phial safe until the next storm and I was grateful. It was hidden in a cabinet in the forbidden part of the greenhouses.

It took a week for the next storm to roll through. Glad to be rid of my morning and evening daily incantation, I rushed down to the Greenhouses where Sprout and McGonagall waited.

“My child, you must do this part alone I am afraid,” Sprout placed a hand on my shoulder. “Remember, do not be afraid and remember the reason you do this. We will be right here when you return,”

I nodded and hugged her and McGonagall before finding a blood red potion in my phial as I hurried into the rain. I took out my wand and pressed it over where my heart was in my chest.

“Amato Animo Animato Animagus” I whispered.

Downing the potion, I felt a liquid fire in my veins as I cried out. I knew what to expect, I just never thought that it would cause this much agony. My heartbeat thundered in my ears, but it was off. There were four beats and the sound of rustling wings.

Before me, preening itself in the grass was a white barn owl, staring at me curiously.

“You must show no fear. It is too late now, to escape the change you have willed” The owl spoke.

“I am not afraid,” I gasped out.

My senses became sharpened and the rain that chilled my skin bounced off of white and bronze feathers. Disoriented, I stretched my arms—wings out and gave one gentle flap and soon I was off the ground, flying through the rain.

I let out a yell of victory, but all that came was a screech. I could see and hear everything around me. The patter of the mice in the fields below, the voices coming from the school, the thunder that rumbled in the distance.

It took a few tries, but I eventually ended up at the Hufflepuff tower, chirping at my window. Well, I was really calling for Abby, but it came out as chirps. The window opened and I fluttered in, knocking over s few things on my desk in my landing.

“Merlin, it’s you isn’t it?” Abby realized, grinning. “An owl!? Oh, my stars, Y/n!” I chirped excitedly, preening a few feathers, it had the same feeling as brushing my hair. “You have to tell him,” Abby sat at my desk. “He’s going to love this,”

I narrowed my eyes at her. I couldn’t tell Draco. Not yet. I had to get better at it. I had to practice. Then I could tell him.

“Well, go on, I need Y/n back, we have homework,” Abby shooed me out the window and I chirped at her, flying back to where I hid my wand.

The shift back took away the warmth and waterproofing of my Animagus, so I was soaked to the bone when I came back to Sprout and McGonagall. They looked to me expectantly.

“It worked,” I grinned, pushing my hair out of my face. “Thank you,”

“Well?” They both pressed.

“An owl,” I beamed. “I can fly,” It was euphoric.

“An owl,” Professor Sprout was delighted. “Oh, you’ve done very well my dear.”

“Very well indeed.” McGonagall smiled. “Now, off to bed. It’s almost curfew.”

I bid them both a goodnight and headed up to my dorm, where Abby and I freaked out a bit then settled down to work through homework. I sent a letter to my mother right away letting her know what happened. I debated on sending one to Draco, but hesitated. I’d rather tell him in person, or at least show him. But that would have to wait.

It took about two weeks of constant practice in the tree under the lake in the dead of night for me to get the transition smooth enough that I no longer needed the incantation before morphing.

As I was transformed into my owl, of which Abby named Pinnae, a familiar blond-haired boy made the trek down to the tree I was perched in. I watched as Draco sighed and sat down under the tree, a foot away from my wand. I rustled my feathers in dismay, flapping them anxiously.

Draco didn’t notice my semi frantic state. He just stared onto the moonlit lake. I knew that I couldn’t abandon my wand, but I also knew that I couldn’t just randomly show up where Draco was. Preening a few feathers, I nestled onto the branch and decided to wait him out.

“Where did I go wrong,” He asked the water lapping at the bank. “I thought I was protecting her...”

I tilted my head, fluttering to a lower branch.

“It was stupid to even think. Of course, she would hate me. Of course, she would leave,” He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “Maybe my father was right,”

I chirped, outraged. It still didn’t catch his attention. How was he supposed to be the Slytherin Seeker if he was missing the obvious? He leaned back, his fingers brushing the tips of my wand, and he finally noticed. Taking it into his hold, he inspected it.

“Y/n?” He whispered softly. “Y/n!?” He rose immediately, looking around frantically. “Y/n!? Where are you!?” Taking out his own wand he called a Wand-Lighting Charm.

I squinted at the bright light and moved a few branched away from it.

“No, no, no.” He paced. “No! This... I did everything right! I left her so she would be safe! She has to be safe!” Despair was written across his face.

My heart soared at his words, knowing I had been right all along, as I glided to the ground, behind the tree out of Draco’s view, morphing out of Pinnae. Steadying myself on the tree, I rounded it, grabbing Draco’s hand, pulling him close and not letting him get a word in as I pressed my lips to his.

He pushed me away gently, looking me over frantically. 

“Y/n?” He gasped.

I rolled my eyes and wrapped my arms around his neck pulling him back into a kiss. As my fingers ran through the ends of his hair, he seemed to relax, wrapping his arms around my back, clutching me to his chest as he pressed his lips to mine harshly.

It was a violent kiss that relieved the past months frustration and anger and sadness, until there was nothing left but affection and need. His breath was hot on mine as his tongue slipped past my lips, making me weak at my knees. My fingers knotted themselves in his hair as he slowly backed me into the tree. Soft sounds escaped my lips and were met with low one from his.

His lips migrated from my lips to my jaw and down my neck.

“Draco,” I panted out. He hummed into my skin, not stopping. “Draco,” I chided a bit more harshly.

He pulled up, cupping my face.

“Don’t ever do that to me again,” His voice was desperate and commanding. “I thought... Merlin I thought they got you Y/n,”

I pulled him into a tight hug, burying my face in his shoulder. His arms coiled around me as he pressed me close. Tears slipped from my eyes as I inhaled deeply, not comprehending how much I really missed him. I was so focused on becoming an Animagus, that the sorrow and pain of his absence had no time to register until that moment.

“Please forgive me, Y/n,” He begged. “I thought I was keeping you safe. I did it to keep you safe,” His voice was shaky as he pleaded to me.

“I’m here,” I consoled, petting his hair softly. “I’m right here Draco,”

“I had to keep you safe from him. From them. It’s all coming Y/n,” He cried into my shoulder. “It’s coming and I can’t stop it,”

“It’s okay,” I whispered. “It’s okay Draco,” 

“How is any of this okay?” He asked miserably,

“Because you’ve got me, and I’ve got you,” I pulled away softly and stroked his cheek softly. “Yeah?”

He nodded.

“I still don’t know how to keep you safe,” He mumbled hopelessly. “Because I can’t keep ignoring you like this. It’s driving me mad.”

“Draco, honey, for someone as smart as you, you are incredibly dense,” I laughed softly. 

“What?” He backtracked. “Why?”

“Just... don’t freak out?” I slowly let him go, taking a few steps back. 

“Why?” He was growing more concerned. “Y/n? What did you do?”

I closed my eyes and pictured Pinnae in my mind, letting my heart beat with hers as I felt myself morph into my Animagus. Fluttering my wings, I looked up at him and chirped.

___________________________

“Oh, you’ve got to be kidding me,” Draco gaped at you—well, the small white and bronze barn owl that was in your place. “That’s why you didn’t speak for a month! I thought you were mad at me!”

The owl—you chittered at him and fluttered up to his shoulder where you pecked softly at his ear. Uncertain, he reached up and stroked the feathers upon your head. You nuzzled into his hand.

“You did this for me?” He whispered softly. 

You chirped and he took it as a yes.

He had to admit, it was brilliant. As an Animagus, you could be with him and easily hide when needed. And someone had to be on his side in the stars because your Animagus could also fly. He sat, carefully since you were still perched on his shoulder, under the tree, feeling quite different from when he had first gone out.

“Can I have my Y/n back please?” He asked the owl on his shoulder.

You hopped to the ground and he watched you morph back into a human, sitting beside him. He had never seen an Animagus so up close before. He finally noticed that since you had taken on the new form, your features shifted slightly. Your eyes were larger and more round, your pupils taking a darker hue, and your skin had lost some of its tan, favoring for a paler color.

You hugged your knees and watched the water of the lake, your face pensive. “I did apologize right?” He mused softly.

The smile he was looking for stretched across your face as your eyes landed on his. 

“Yes,” The word was warm. “I never lost faith in you Dray, and I missed you too,”

He smiled for the first time in two months and you rested your head on his shoulder watching the moonlight on the lake water. He knew it was getting late, but he didn’t want to lose this, and he didn’t want to lose you. It was mad torture taking himself away from you. It got to a point where Pansy started to ask him if he was okay. And right now, he was.

Sensing the late hour like him, you stood, offering your hand, and it was so familiar and comforting to him, this gesture. He followed you back to the castle, not protesting, as you crept down the hallways.

“Ms. Y/l/n,”

Draco stiffened and you froze beside him, closing your eyes and inhaling sharply.

Slowly you both turned, finding yourselves face to face with Dolores Umbridge in her awful pink robes, grinning wickedly. Draco took a small step in front of you protectively.

“I suppose you two have a reason for being out of bed at this hour?” She tutted, raising an eyebrow. “Miss Y/l/n, I believe I am speaking to you,”

You opened your mouth, and Draco could see that you were struggling to find the right words and not have a panic attack, which gave him an idea.

“It’s my fault Professor,” Draco spoke softly. “I made her come out. She has anxiety you see, and she’s supposed to get a potion from Madam Pomfrey, but she forgot tonight, and though she wanted to ignore it, I told her that it she shouldn’t and made her come with me to get it.”

“I see,” Umbridge narrowed her eyes and pursed her lips. “Well it is still past curfew, and students are not allowed out of the dormitories.”

“We’re prefects ma’am,” Draco smiled wickedly sweet. “We are allowed to patrol the school after hours to make sure no one else breaks curfew, and if you speak to my Head of House, I assure you it is my night to patrol,”

Umbridge tutted and spun on her heel, heading the way she came from. You sagged in relief beside him, rubbing your face.

“Are you alright?” He asked, worried.

A nod from you and his worry lessened. He paused, wanting to hug you, but not sure about the display of affection in public. So instead, he pulled you toward the hospital wing to actually get you a sleeping potion, and perhaps one for himself. You followed wordlessly.

You paused outside of your common room portrait, the small vial in your hands.

“You know I already have these in my room,” You muttered softly.

“I know,” He reached and tilted your chin up, your eyes meeting his.

There were a thousand things that he wanted to say to you but didn’t. There were so many questions to answer and things to figure out and tomorrow to face, and he didn’t know how to right then.

So, he leaned down and softly pressed his lips to your forehead.

“I’ll see you tomorrow,” Your words from the summer were now a promise on his lips.

You smiled and nodded, reaching up to stroke his cheek gently before disappearing behind your common room portrait.

____________________________________

“You’re back early,” Abby commented.

“I was right,” I muttered softly, curling up in my bed. “All this time, I was right,”

“Right about what?’ Abby looked up from her (my) book.

“He did it to protect me. That’s why he stayed away,” The words were a soft relief on my lips.

“You told him! You talked to him! Y/n!” Abby grew very excited, tossing the book aside. “What happened!?”

“Well... I was Pinnae, and he came down to the tree, and well he freaked out when he saw my wand and not me, and then I transformed back, and we kissed, and then yell at each other a bit, and...” I smiled at the memory and shrugged.

“Does this mean I can talk to Pansy again?” Abby asked hopeful.

I laughed and threw a pillow at her.

“You can talk to whoever you want,” I pointed out. “It’s not my fault you’re a chicken,”

Abby’s face became very red as she scoffed, rolling her eyes.

“Wait, hang on, does this mean you two are together again?” Abby exclaimed.

“No? Yes? We were never together to begin with, and honestly, Draco’s right, this is dangerous.” My eyes looked out upon the stars hanging in the sky.

“You’re talking about You-Know-Who,” She realized softly.

I nodded and hugged a pillow. “I’m scared Abby. I don’t want to lose Draco over this. I’ve already lost too much,”

“You’re not going to,” Abby comforted. “Because you’re not alone, and you’re not the only one afraid,”

She looked around the room suspiciously and casted a few Silencing Charms, turning off the light before whispering to me:

“Harry Potter is teaching a Defense Against the Dark Arts class secretly here since that toad Umbridge wouldn’t know a Death Eater if it bit her on the nose,”

“What!?” I exclaimed to her shushing.

“We’re meeting in the Hog’s Head for a brief meeting and to see what’s going on,” She informed me.

“Who’s ‘we’?” I asked.

“Everyone who believes that You-Know-Who is back,”

 I nodded and hugged a pillow.

“You want to tell him, don’t you?” Abby chimed in.

“He would know more than anyone what we were up against,” I confessed into the darkness of the night. “I know I haven’t told you because I wasn’t sure how I felt about it, but... his father is working for You-Know-Who.”

“What!?” It was my turn to shush her.

“That’s why they’ve been gone so much, his parents I mean,” I looked over to her. “Please don’t take it the wrong way Abby. Draco isn’t a part of it.”

“But his father is!” She insisted.

I gave her a pleading look and she took a sharp breath in.

“Please Abby,” Tears pricked my eyes. “I can’t be alone. I need you with me,” 

She nodded and sighed, smiling at me, rolling her eyes.

“Anything else?” She mused.

“He... he knew something was going to happen, the night Cedric... he didn’t know what. It’s why he asked me to go with him. He wanted to protect me from whatever it was,” I explained, tensing for her backlash.

“He didn’t tell anyone!?” She hissed.

“What was he supposed to say? ‘Hey, my dad’s a Death Eater and he and his buddies are going to do something on the night of the third task, but I don’t know what or where, but hey good luck’?” I gestured, vaguely imitating Draco’s mannerisms.

“Okay, you have a point,”

“It’s bigger than all of us Abby. You heard the Sorting Hat, we have to stick together,”

“I hate it when you’re right,” She muttered, flopping back on her bed. “Of course, I’m with you Y/n. Through thick and thin. Always,”

“Thank you, Abby,” I took a deep breath and smiled at her, before nesting into my covers, the ghost of Draco’s arms holding me pulling me through the night as a filled vial sat on my desk.

Dawn filtered in through the windows and I heard Abby get up, dressing for Quidditch practice. I left her to it and rolled over, going back to sleep. Since I had taken on my Animagus it was hard to fight my nocturnal instincts. Abby came back in some hours later, opening the curtains in an attempt to wake me again as she headed to the showers.

Blinking and squinting at the light, I groaned in defeat, starting my morning routine. Dressed and presentable, my bag over my shoulder and robes in my arms, Abby and I made out way to breakfast then to Double Potions with Snape.

“Hey Feathers,” I heard a familiar voice as I walked down the hall.

Turning I saw Draco’s smiling face as he left his little posse and came up beside me. Abby lingered and walked beside Pansy just behind us. His hand found mine almost timidly as we walked along.

“Are you really gonna call me that?” I feigned dismay.

“To annoy you, probably,” He grinned.

“So, are we doing this?” I gestured to our hands. “Like, really doing this?” He faltered, his face clouding with fear and second thoughts.

“Do you not want to?” Hurt colored his voice.

“No, I do! I do,” I appeased with a smile. “I just... well, I don’t know, you don’t seem like the kinda guy to...” I trialed off and shrugged.

“The way I see it,” He started, gesturing with his free hand. “Is that I’ve gone nearly mad trying to stay away from you,” — “He has! It’s pathetic,” Pansy chimed in from behind us, — “And well, my father can’t exactly get to either of us as long as we’re here, so... if you want to...”

I tried not to laugh as he stammered through his words, looking quite lost. His air of confidence had fled him completely. I might have failed a bit at not laughing because he started to sulk.

“Draco,” I chuckled, catching up to him as he surged ahead of me. “Of course, I want to go out with you,” 

“Really?” He stopped short.

I rolled my eyes and nodded, taking his hand again. 

“Finally,” Pansy and Abby muttered from behind us.

All week eyes were on Draco and me. Some were glaring and muttering, others—mainly from Hufflepuff—were grinning. It left Draco and I both various shades of red through the days. Trying to find a quiet moment together was another matter. It always seemed as if Umbridge stalked wherever we were, like she had it out for me. And if it wasn’t Umbridge, Draco had Quidditch practice, or class, or we had prefect duty—never on the same night.

“We have got to find a way to sneak you into the Slytherin common room,” He huffed one night, sitting beside me at dinner.

Our friend group now had a weird mix of Slytherin and Hufflepuff: Vincent, Gregory, Pansy, and Blaise from Slytherin; Abby, Ernie, Emme, and Taylor from Hufflepuff. No one really snapped at another. It all seemed to be set aside for the sake of letting Draco and I spend some time together. I had a sneaking suspicion that Abby and Pansy had dealt a bit of threats in the beginning, but now it was almost unnaturally natural.

“Gee,” Abby drawled. “It’s too bad. You should send him owls instead,” Her flat look made me realize that Draco and I were quite stupid.

“Oh,” I giggled. “Yeah. I guess that would work,”

Draco rolled his eyes and shook his head in dismay. I cuddled his arm and went back to eat, the conversation shifting to the Hogsmeade trip coming up in a few days. I threw Abby a look, and she gave me one back.

Tell, she signed, pointing to Draco.

Know, I signed back. Tonight,

“What are you two doing?” Vincent asked Abby and me.

“Y/n and Abby learned sign language while Y/n couldn’t talk so they could still communicate,” Pansy rolled her eyes as if it were obvious.

I raised an eyebrow at Abby, wondering just how much time she had spent with Pansy.

Changed into pajamas, I reminded Abby to leave the window open as I transformed into Pinnae and flew into the cloudless night. I circled the castle a few times, more or less patrolling, before swooping down and landing onto the windowsill of a blond haired Slytherin.

“Hello there, Feathers,” Draco smiled, stroking the feathers on top of my head; I chirped and nipped playfully at his fingertips. “The room is empty and locked. You’re safe.”

I fluttered onto his bed and stretched my wings, transforming back into my human from, blinking away the disorienting feelings of my senses changing. His bed was made properly, something that mine never was. My bed had become more of a nest since my change and I didn’t really change it. I absentmindedly began to rearrange his pillows, nesting.

_______________________________

Smiling to himself, Draco stood, closing the window, leaning against a bedpost, watching you reposition his pillows leaving chaos in your wake.

“So, I’m assuming there’s something you need to tell me? That you and Abby were signing about today?” He mused, not without noticing that your wardrobe was similar to his own: an old t-shirt and house themed sweats.

“Yes, and I need you to not freak out,” Your voice was timid as you held a pillow in your lap.

“When have I ever—” A look from you and he decided to not finish that thought.

“Can you cast Silencing Charms, please?” Your eyes darted around the room.

“Why would I—”

“Draco,” You chided, closing your eyes and taking a deep breath.

It dawned on him that you were trying very hard to keep your anxiety under wraps, so he placed the charms without further protest and sat on the end of his bed, looking to you expectantly. A minute passed before you spoke. Your eyes didn’t leave the green duvet under your fingers.

“Harry Potter is going to teach a Defense Against the Dark Arts class secretly.” You paused, gauging his reaction but he gave nothing away. “There’s a recruitment meeting during the Hogsmeade trip. Abby’s going,”

A beat of silence.

“And you’re going,” He pieced together.

You confirmed with a small nod, still not looking up.

Draco stood and paced away from the bed, deep in thought. His mind recoiled around Harry Potter with a deep-seated hatred and betrayal. It was outrageous that Potter thought he could pull this off. But when he looked to you, the worried look on your face, it spun a new narrative.

Harry had gone against the Dark Lord last year and had a lot of experience—more than the rest—with dealing with dark magic. Though the papers spun ridiculous narratives about Harry and Dumbledore and denied the Dark Lord’s return, Draco knew better. He also knew that Umbridge’s lessons were to pacify the threat of an uprising at Hogwarts.

Then of course, there was you. His sweet, kind Y/n. The notion of you going against any Death Eater had him furious. Voldemort could take the world and he wouldn’t care, as long as you were safe. But he also knew the fire in you to do what was right. Not that it was a Hufflepuff thing. It was a you thing. Factoring in the death of your father and Cedric, he knew exactly why you wanted to do this. And to be honest, it made him feel better that you would train to be able to protect yourself of Merlin forbid, you do go against a Death Eater.

“Okay,” Draco nodded. 

“Okay?” You squeaked.

Coming to you and sitting beside you, gathering you into his arms he pressed a kiss to the top of your head. He wasn’t nervous to be around you when you were alone with him. He had spent months overcoming that fear while wishing for you. It brought back the happy memories of the summer and all the days he never had with you to do this. His mother was never very affectionate and his father even less, so when you subtly approved of his attempt at physical affection with your own, a few more fears and hurts were left behind.

“Though I cannot stand Potter,” Draco gritted. “If anyone can teach you, it’s him. And I want you to be able to protect yourself,”

You looked up through your eyelashes at him, not smiling, but pensive again. 

“Why do you hate him so much?” The question was soft.

Draco inhaled sharply and your gaze fell.

“Or not, you don’t have to tell me,” It wasn’t guilt striking, but understanding.

“I grew up hearing of Harry Potter, as I’m sure you did,” You nodded, verifying. “And as a kid with...” He scowled, trying to find the right words. “I always thought that he’d be my best friend... and then he chose Weasley and that mud—” You hit his arm. “—Granger,” He amended, his father screaming blood traitor in his head. “Eleven years of waiting for someone to be cast aside,” Draco shook his head. “And now he gets every easy way out.”

“I can’t pretend to know how that feels,” You whispered softly, rubbing his arm, “But... you were sort of a prick back then. Not that I’m defending him!” You clarified quickly. “But...”

“But maybe I wasn’t worthy to be his friend,” He divulged softly. “Or anyone’s friend for that matter,”

“Well, you’re a pretty great friend now,” Your tone was warm as you smiled up at him. “Or at least you’re working on it,”

He rolled his eyes and playfully pushed you into the pillow mound you had made. A laugh escaped your lips as you whacked him with the pillow in your lap. He took the pillow from your hands easily, and you threw your hands up in surrender, giggled bubbling from your lips. Throwing the pillow onto your pile he laughed and tackled you, wrestling you until you were pinned beneath him.

Panting beneath him, you went doe eyed as you wiggled under his grip. Your tongue darted between your lips, taunting him to come and follow. So, he did.

His lips met yours as he leaned down. It was better than his memory served him. Soft, warm, and inviting. Your hands struggled against his, and he released them. Immediately they found their home in his damp hair. It drove him insane as you’d knot your fingers into his hair, pulling him deeper into the kiss.

Desire burned in his chest, knowing that you were his right now, willingly inviting him. Soft sounds left your mouth as his won the victory of dominance. He longed to kiss every inch of your skin, and now, the only thing that could stop him was you. And you weren’t raising a complaint.

His lips trailed your jaw as it did before, his ears drinking in your soft pants, your hands slipping down the collar of his shirt. Draco shed it without a second thought. Your eyes lingered on his form, your hands trailing down his chest, featherlight. It made him shudder.

“Y/n,” He warned softly, taking your hand, pressing kisses to every inch of your skin, trailing down your wrist.

“I know,” You murmured softly.

There was nothing more he wanted than to keep pushing his luck. He wanted to see how far you’d let him go, but a small voice in his head stopped him. He wanted to do this right and he knew that neither of you were ready.

Leaning down and pressing a kiss to your forehead, he moved from his position on top of you to laying beside you. You turned your head and faced him, your hand trailing down his face, jaw, neck, and chest, leaving goosebumps in your wake.

“This is new, huh?” You pondered softly. “I’ve never...”

“Neither have I,” He clarified. “But I will do this right,” he pressed a kiss to your inner wrist. 

“Always the gentleman,”

Draco chuckled and pulled the covers over you and himself. You curled up on his chest without a second thought, your fingers tracing random patterns on his skin. His wand within reach, he undid the lock on the door and the charms, pulling two of the three curtains closed on his bed.

“Are you going to stay all night?” He asked softly.

Your eyes were closed, a soft smile on your face. They peeked open, however, at his question. 

“Do you want me to stay?”

It took everything in him not to snark at you. You settled back onto his chest, making the decision. You stretched out on his bed—and he was grateful that it was bigger than the hospital wing bed—as you intertwined your legs with him, yawning.

He reached into his bedside table drawer and handed you a recognizable vial. Draco may or may not have spent a few weeks perfecting the Sleeping Potion so that he’d always be able to have it on hand for you. His Anxiety and Thoughts Potions weren’t quite up to par however, so those would have to wait.

Watching you sleep in his arms he felt like he was in a different world. One where Dark Lords and Death Eaters didn’t loom over him. It was a safe haven. He could still scent the shampoo in your hair mixed with the woodsy air that had dried it as you flew over.

Maybe fairytales weren’t so stupid after all. 

_________________________________

I grumbled when my pillow started to move. Squinting into the morning, I saw Draco sitting up on the edge of the bed, rubbing his face. It had to be early because dawn was barely peeking through the widows. Wordlessly, I reached out, my fingers barely brushing his warm skin. He jumped and turned. His panic settled when he caught sight of me.

“Morning,” He whispered softly. “Quidditch,” He answered the question written on my face.

I yawned and stretched, sitting up. It should have been a crime, being up this early for any reason on a Saturday.

“You need to get back before you get into trouble, Feathers,” He murmured softly, leaning over to press a kiss to my forehead.

“Don’t call me that,” I grumbled, staggering on my way to standing.

He laughed softly and ensnared me in his arms.

“Stay safe out there,” I murmured softly, my words slurring slightly. “The weather’s changing,”

“Have you ever morphed when you’re tired like this?” Concern was written in his features. “Or flown?”

I shook my head, leaning against him, the bed behind him looking more inviting by the second.

 “You’re not going to fly then,” He instructed. “It’s too dangerous,”

“M’fine,” I mumbled.

“Y/n,” He chided. “Come on, I’ll walk you back to your dorm then head to practice.”

“People will talk,” I laid my head on his shoulder knowing that the sleeping potion was not worn off completely as it tried to drag me back under.

“They always talk Y/n. My number one priority is keeping you safe,” He set me on the bed and walked to his armoire.

I laid back on his bed and closed my eyes, yawning. When I opened my eyes again, Draco was dressed in his Quidditch robes—looking rather handsome—his school robe hanging over his shoulder.

“Come on sunshine,” He chuckled, pulling me up. “We need to go before I’m late,”

“You look hot in your Quidditch robes,” I mumbled into his shoulder as I rested against him for support.

I left his laugh shake through his frame and Draco was laughing, shaking his head, still looking quite dashing.

“Merlin, you’re cute when you’re tired,” He draped his school robe around my shoulders as he led me quietly through the Slytherin common room.

“I’ll meet you later and we can head to Hogsmeade,” He promised softly, standing outside of my common room portrait.

I nodded and we parted ways. I stumbled up to my room, in an attempt to catch another hour or two of sleep that came quite easily. I didn’t curl under the covers, instead Draco’s school robes were large enough and comforting enough to draw me back to sleep.

I stood with Abby in line to get cleared by Filch on our way to Hogsmeade. The caretaker eyed my suspiciously and nodded, letting me through. Abby found Draco before I did, well, she found Pansy, that was. And Draco was beside Pansy.

“How was practice?” I asked, shifting my bag from one shoulder to the other. “Alright, how was sleeping?” He teased lightly, taking my hand.

“Yeah how was sleeping?” Abby asked pointedly. “I thought you said you’d only be gone for like an hour,”

“Well...” 

“We...” 

“I...” 

“Um...”

Abby and Pansy both burst out laughing. Draco and I turned red as we made our way to Hogsmeade. I could feel it in the air—maybe it was Pinnae—that the weather was changing. Fall was coming quickly, and the winter held something dangerous. The hair on my arms stood on end, ready for something that couldn’t be seen.

“Be safe,” Draco murmured softly as we paused at the break off in the road that lead towards the Hog Head—the meeting place.

I nodded and sighed softly, pressing up on my ties, leaving a kiss on his cheek before Abby and I headed down the trail together. I thought I caught the same gentle goodbye between Pansy and Abby, but I couldn’t be too sure. Ernie called out to us and we saw a small group of other students heading our way. Though they cast side glances at Draco and Pansy, they said nothing. As a pack we headed to the dodgy bar.

The Hog’s Head bar comprised one small, dingy, and very dirty room that smelled strongly of something that might have been goats. The bay windows were so encrusted with grime that very little daylight could permeate the room, which was lit instead with the stubs of candles sitting on rough wooden tables. The floor seemed at first glance to be earthy, though as I stepped onto it, I realized that there was stone beneath what seemed to be the accumulated filth of centuries.

It made my skin crawl and my senses tell me to run and leave the place as soon as possible. I gritted my teeth and clung to the strap of my bag.

The lot of us—Ron, Hermione, and Harry, Fred and George Weasley, Neville with Dean and Lavender, Parvati and Padma Patil, Cho and one of her friends, sweet Luna Lovegood; then five more clad in Gryffindor colors that I didn’t quite know the names of; Ernie, Justin, Hannah, along with Abby and I; three Ravenclaw’s I didn’t know either; Ginny Weasley, followed by Zachariah of the our Quidditch team, and bringing up the rear—all sat around a dingy table and one of the twins (Fred I think) ordered butterbeers for the lot. I politely declined mine knowing it would only make me more anxious to have caffeine.

I listened to Hermione as she explained the reasoning for starting this group and nodded silently in agreement. Then Zachariah—in his normal stuck up fashion that I loathed—protested against Voldemort being back and an argument broke out. I clenched my fists and Abby’s hand covered mine, in comfort or as a reminder to not lash out.

“—I saw him. But Dumbledore told the whole school what happened last year, and if you didn’t believe him, you don’t believe me, and I’m not wasting an afternoon trying to convince anyone.” Harry snapped.

I flinched when Zach said Cedric’s name in an argument against Harry, gritting my teeth and soon Abby really would have to stop me from lash out against him.

“I believe him,” I snapped at Zach, sneering. “So, get off your high horse Zach or leave,”

Everyone stared at me, most looking impressed. Zach grumbled something that sounded like “Slytherin lover,” but I ignored it and the focus shifted back to Harry, who stammered out a thanks and continued.

“Is it true,” Abby interrupted Harry as he fumbled for words, “that you can produce a Patronus?” 

There was a murmur of interest around the group at this.

“Yeah,” said Harry slightly defensively.

“A corporeal Patronus?” Abby pressed.

“Er — you don’t know Madam Bones, do you?” he asked.

Abby smiled. “She’s my auntie,” she said. “I’m Abby Bones. She told me about your hearing. So — is it really true? You make a stag Patronus?”

“Yes,” said Harry.

There were many exchanges of surprise and all around the group was impressed. I knew that Harry would be a good teacher because creating a corporeal Patronus was no easy feat. I remember my mother telling me that one day I would find my own and it would watch over me as my father did.

When I tuned back into the conversation, Fred and George were threatening Zach again. I threw a glare his way and again he backed down. Soon it was discussed on what night and the topic of Quidditch practice circled around—of course when we met would have to coincide with those. Then there was the matter of the actual Defense Against the Dark Arts class and Umbridge.

“We think the reason Umbridge doesn’t want us trained in Defense Against the Dark Arts,” said Hermione, “is that she’s got some . . . some mad idea that Dumbledore could use the students in the school as a kind of private army. She thinks he’d mobilize us against the Ministry.”

The words struck familiar because Draco said something similar the night before about an uprising, it was true in a sense. The lot of us were going to rise against the evils of the wizarding world, whether they were a part of the Ministry or Death Eaters.

The conversation shifted again, and Hermione began to pass around a paper to sign, promising we wouldn’t tell anyone about what was going on. I let myself slip to the back of the crowd as others signed, knowing that I couldn’t. My hands started to shake softly as I was trapped between a rock and a hard place. I knew I couldn’t keep this from Draco.

As people began to leave after signing, Hermione, Ron, Harry, Abby and I were the only ones left. Anxiety gripped my chest as my palms became clammy and my breathing hitched. It was ridiculous to get a panic attack about this, but I knew I couldn’t sign that paper.

Hermione caught my eye and something odd passed between us. Maybe she saw the fear in my eyes or Abby’s glare. Maybe she knew that I was with Draco. Maybe she was judging me because she knew that the reason, I didn’t want to sign was because of him.

“Ron, Harry, go on ahead. I need to talk with Y/n,” Hermione said with no room for argument.

“Make sure she signs, I don’t want her blathering to Malfoy,” Harry glared me down. “I don’t know if I even want her here,”

I clenched my fists and shook slightly, a thousand replies at my lips. None of them were nice, so I held them in my mouth, not to be let loose. Abby was ready to fight but with a seldom shake of my head she stormed out of the bar.

“Go,” Hermione snapped. “And stop being such a git,”

Harry grumbled and sulked out of the bar—an action that was almost reminiscent of something that Draco would do.

“Hermione,” I began.

“I know,” She stopped me. “But you have to understand how vital this is,”

“I know that,” I breathed out. “Please Hermione, you have to trust me, and I know I really shouldn’t ask this, but trust him too?” I pursed my lips trying to find the right argument. “He said if anyone could teach me how to defend myself, Harry could,”

“He said that?” Hermione gasped, whatever argument she had lined up fell. I nodded and pressed on.

“I know he’s not your favorite person. It took us almost two years to get where we are now, and even then...” I shook my head and shrugged. “They deserve a chance too Hermione. And we both know a Slytherin can’t just walk into one of these meetings without...”

“Without being accused of sabotage,” Hermione supplied, and I bobbed my head. “Alright,” She sighed. “You don’t have to sign the paper, but I need to know what you tell Draco. Every word.”

I sagged in relief, rubbing my face. A thanks left my lips as my chest slowly unwound itself from the knot of agitation.

“You think there’s a chance?” Her question was soft and quiet. “For any of them to...”

“I didn’t before, but now... now there just might be,” I replied as we both exited the Hog’s Head.

Draco met me in the same spot where we parted ways, but he had a few bags from around the village in his hands. He gave me a questioning look, and his eyes flitted to Hermione beside me.

“Hermione,” He greeted politely.

A smile touched my lips as I took his hand.

“Draco,” She stammered before hurrying off to where Harry and Ron were waiting. 

“How’d it go?” He asked, taking me through the small village.

“Pretty okay,” I smiled. “I’ll tell you about it later,”

He nodded and the topic slipped form conversation completely as he went more in depth to how Quidditch practice went at my request. I stopped into a few shops—Honeyduke’s to restock my sweets stash, taking care into what I purchased, then to Scrivenshaft’s for a few new quills and ink. Now that OWLs were coming up, I took greater care into rewriting my notes and drawing diagrams and I needed finer tipped quills and more No-Run No-Mess ink.

Draco hovered or stood close by all the while. We didn’t speak much of anything other than light conversation. I learned a lot about him in those hours: like I missed his birthday this year even though we were “together” more or less. It was a few days before the third task, and he didn’t think to mention it. I rolled my eyes and vowed that next year we would do something. He pointed out that he also missed mine and he talked to me the day of—February 23rd, the day before the second task.

“Well, then obviously you owe me,” I grinned.

“Don’t you owe me then?” He mused, raising an eyebrow.

“I dunno, you don’t seem to be holding it against me,” I smirked, swinging his hand playfully as we walked along.

“There are a lot of things I’d like to hold you against,” He purred softly in my ear making me flush bright red.

He laughed victoriously and I huffed, taking my hand from his and folding my arms defiantly— all of my shopping bags were in his other hand at his insisting. He caught my waist still laughing.

“You’re really going to pout about that?” He snickered.

Rolling my eyes, I let him off easier than I probably should have and we enjoyed the rest of the afternoon together: meeting Abby and Pansy for lunch then heading back to the castle to spend the clear skied day out in the sun under what seemed to be our tree now.

After dinner I was exhausted and dragging my feet. Draco took notice and ordered me to bed. 

“We have to talk about today,” I protested. “Don’t you want to know?”

“I do,” He confirmed and placed his hands on my shoulders. “But I stand by what I said this morning, I don’t want you flying when you’re tired. It’s too dangerous for you.” My face must have given away my annoyance. “Not that I don’t believe in your ability and I love that you did it for me, but there’s no need to get into any unnecessary danger, yes?”

I sighed and nodded.

“Now off to bed with you,” A smile returned to his face. “Go read some of your book and go to bed. I’ll see you tomorrow,”

It touched me how well he knew my nightly routine. It was the small and soft moments that reaffirmed that he could change and care about someone other than himself.

“Goodnight Draco,” I whispered softly.

“Goodnight Feathers,” He grinned softly and pressed a chaste kiss to my lips. 

_________________________________

It wasn’t until Monday night that you finally explained what happened at the meeting at the Hog’s Head. You told him of the deal you made with Hermione as well and he agreed. He wanted to gain trust and he knew he had to start small—he learned that from you.

Draco also may or may not have completely flipped out when he heard of Potter’s owl being attacked. He was very close to banning you from flying but refrained. You weren’t exactly his to control, and he already told you that you weren’t allowed to fly when you were tired. He didn’t want to overdo it and lose you. You weren’t one to be reined in and trapped.

He anxiously awaited your return Wednesday night when you told him there was a meeting. He had Quidditch practice that night. He spent the entire time worrying about you and almost got a Bludger to the face a few times. Pansy told him to shape up and focus or she’d ground him. So, he shoved you out of his head and played better.

It was nine thirty before he got an owl from you—not you as an owl. You promised you wouldn’t fly for a few days after seeing his distress.

~

Dray,

I’m back safely. Stop pacing the common room and go to bed. There wasn’t any trouble. Abby and I studied disarming spells tonight. It was sort of fun despite the looming OWLs coming.

I’m sending a copy of this to Hermione as well, she agreed to help me study and wants updates to what I’ve accomplished.

Goodnight,

Feathers

~

Draco smiled at how cunning you were disguising the events of your night in a letter. He knew that if it had been intercepted at all, no one could track you down for doing anything against Umbridge’s ridiculous rules.

You had meetings almost once a week, and always when he had Quidditch practice it turned out. Draco knew it was smart to have the D.A. meetings when the Slytherins were at the pitch, but it

wasn’t very good for his skills. He was panicky and not as focused as he should have been. But a comfort to him, you sent a letter every night afterward in the same cryptic remarks that you had done the first time.

“The meetings are stopping for a while,” You informed him, perched on his windowsill—that nearly gave him a heart attack, but you looked well at home—as he walked in after Quidditch practice.

“Oh?” He asked, starting to take off his gear.

You smiled and hopped down, closing the window behind you.

“Angela is going crazy with Quidditch practice... some big match coming up against a certain team...” You feigned ignorance as you sat on his bed, leaning against a post.

“Yeah?” He smirked. “She worried then,” That was a vote of confidence.

“Well I would be,” You purred. “Seeing how incredibly tantalizing the opponents look. It’s quite distracting I must say, having to look at your face and focus.” A grin stretched across your face.

He rolled his eyes at your antics but couldn’t stop the ego boost you had given him, nor the blush that rose in his cheeks as he shed the rest of his robes and heading to the showers, not without pressing a kiss to your lips first.

The week prior to the match, tensions were high between Gryffindor and Slytherin, and Draco unbeknownst to you, gave in a time or two, mocking Weasley when he could. In his defense, the youngest Weasley was an awful player—too anxious to stay on form. Sort of what he imagined if you wanted to play Quidditch. The thought stopped him in his tracks and maybe he wasn’t so patronizing to Ron any longer.

Along with the match, snow settled onto Hogwarts, forcing him to pull out his winter gear earlier than usual. He remembered you mentioned something about the weather off hand on your trip to Hogsmeade. He also almost had a heart attack when he saw you walking down the halls without a sweater or scarf when the rest of the student body was shying away from the cold weather.

“You’re going to give yourself away Feathers,” He hissed, quickly wrapping his scarf around you. “I know you might not be cold because of Pinnae, but Y/n,”

“Sorry,” You rushed out, readjusting his scarf so it hung correctly. “I didn’t think, and I was late this morning...”

Draco sighed and pulled you under his arm and walked you to your next class as you’d been accustomed to. He never did get that scarf back.

The morning of the match he caught sight of you in the Great Hall at breakfast—in a Slytherin robe and scarf. His heart skipped a beat before he recovered. He really needed to remember to get his stuff back from you. He soon decided that it didn’t matter when you lit up upon seeing him and waved. Your friend group was dressed in various shades of green—Abby also had a green and silver scarf on that he knew belonged to Pansy.

“You’re coming then?” He asked.

“I thought I’d try. And I asked Madam Pomfrey for extra Anxiety Potion. I really should just take it every morning but...” You shrugged and he could see the distress in your features still.

“Win or lose, I’m glad you’ll be there,” He pressed a kiss to your temple, wrapping and arm around your waist and pulling you close.

Up in the air, he spotted you in the crowd of students below him. You waved happily and gave him a thumbs up letting him know that you were alright. He nodded and kept his eyes out for the snitch. He watched as Harry bolted down and chased after him.

The Snitch skirted the foot of one of the goal hoops and scooted off toward the other side of the stands; its change of direction suited Draco. Harry must have pulled his Firebolt around, because he and Potter were now neck and neck...

Feet from the ground, Draco lifted his right hand from his broom, stretching toward the Snitch... to his right, Potter’s arm extended too, reaching...

It was over in two breathless, desperate, windswept seconds —Harry’s fingers closed around the tiny, struggling ball—Draco’s fingers scathed the back of Harry’s hand hopelessly—Harry pulled his broom upward, holding the struggling ball in his hand and the Gryffindor spectators screamed their approval.

Draco let out an aggravated scream and surged up to the sky barely noticing that Harry had been pelted with a Bludger. That made him feel slightly better.

Panting and still irritated, you appeared right beside him after pushing through the crowd under the stands.

“Are you okay?” Your voice was soft.

“Ask Potter,” He snapped, regretting it when your eyebrows furrowed slightly. “Sorry,” He mumbled miserably.

The Gryffindor team was hugging and cheering Harry on as the golden boy’s eyes landed on you, something in his eyes that he didn’t quite like.

“What’s that about?” He seethed.

“Nothing,” You answered a bit quickly. “Just Harry being Harry,” It sounded worn on your lips, like you had to keep reminding yourself of it.

“He’s been putting you through hell because of me, hasn’t he?” Draco demanded and you shrunk back, nodding to the ground. “Potter!” He roared, making his way toward Potter.

“Draco!” You ran after him, but he paid you no mind.

Harry could hate him all he wanted. Fine. Whatever. But he crossed the line when he started to take it out on you.

His Quidditch team quickly flanked him, Pansy on his right, as he faced down Potter and his team. Anger surged through his blood as he glowered at green eyes.

“Sore loser Malfoy?” Harry mocked, the Gryffindor laughing around him.

“This isn’t about Quidditch.” Draco spat. “You leave Y/n alone or you have something worse than a Bludger coming to you!”

“She is more than capable to protect herself,” Harry smirked. “But you wouldn’t know anything about that would you?” A few Gryffindors—he suspected the ones in DA—snickered.

Draco growled as Harry used his outcast status against him. Harry knew he wasn’t allowed to the DA meetings and pressed his advantage. What enraged him more was that it was a few hours a week that Harry had alone with you where Draco couldn’t protect you. In that moment, Draco became aware that he never wanted to be friends with someone like Harry.

“Draco,” Your voice was a soft beacon. “Please, it’s not worth it,” The brokenness in your voice shattered him.

Draco looked down and saw that your hand was on his shoulder, gently pulling him back, your eyes not meeting his. Draco’s eyes flashed up and met Pansy’s and Abby’s. There was one thing that Slytherins and Hufflepuffs had in common: loyalty.

“Hey Potter!” Pansy called. “It’s really bold of you to take all your anger out on Y/n because you can’t get ahead of Draco. Pathetic behavior,” Her words were sharp and calculated, and a grin curled across Draco’s face.

“It’s just as pathetic for you to hide behind a little Hufflepuff.” Harry spat. “You don’t fool me for a second Malfoy. You’ll always be just like your father,”

It was like a slap to the face.

“You wanna start talking about fathers, Potter?” Your voice was seething behind him as you emerged from behind him. “You know everyone looks up to you, and everything you’ve done, and maybe I did too, but now...” You shook your head, your face ridden with disgust. “Come on Dray, let’s go.”

And he did. He turned and started to walk away. 

Until Harry yanked back the wrong Slytherin robe.

You were on the ground—looking quite shocked, fear and tears in your eyes as you met his. 

Harry was dumbfounded.

Draco lunged.

_________________________________

When Harry was hit with a Stunning Spell and fell away from Draco in a fight that I couldn’t stomach to watch, I knelt beside Draco, who held his bleeding nose. Someone tried to come near the two of us, but I growled, a low throated sound I wasn’t aware I was capable of, and whoever it was backed off.

“Are you okay?” I asked, my hands brushing through his hair, allowing me to see more of his face.

“No,” He grunted, sitting up. “It’s fine, I can fix it.”

“You’re going to Pomfrey,” I demanded, leaving no room for argument. 

“Just get me to Snape.” He muttered, trying to stand.

I rose before him, helping him up. Every eye was on the two of us, but I paid them no mind. There wasn’t time or energy. His arm slung around my shoulder; we made our way into the castle towards Snape’s office.

“Miss Y/l/n,” Snape pursed his lips looking down his nose. “I am to assume you didn’t do this to him?” Something lingered behind the professors black eyes.

“It was Potter,” Draco muttered darkly.

In that moment I wondered if Snape knew about Draco’s relationship with his father...

“Potter,” Snape sneered, grabbing a vial from his desk drawer. “I’m assuming you’d like one as well Miss Y/n?” Snape asked, looking to me.

“Me?” I asked, frowning.

“Your hand is sliced as well as your arm,” He raised an eyebrow.

A curse slipped through my lips as I looked at my right arm. Sure enough blood was soaking through Draco’s robes and my white button-up.

“These are yours too,” I complained, taking the vial from Snape and downing it, the now noticeable stinging pain from my arm fading.

“That’s what you’re worried about?” Draco chuckled, looking better by the second. A smile touched my lips.

“Thank you, Professor,” I glanced to Snape. “For every time,” My hand rested on Draco’s shoulder.

Something passed between Snape and I, and it was almost odd, the sort of understanding we had. 

“Very well,” He muttered. “Now out you two, I have work to do,”

The walk back to our dorms was quiet. Since I was still in Slytherin gear the portrait didn’t comment as I walked through with Draco, nearly clinging to him. Without a word he took me up to his room and locked the door.

He shed his bloody gear quickly and then came to me, taking my—his—robe off and throwing it in with the pile. Pushing my sleeve back he examined my arm where it had been sliced on the rocks. Nothing was left but faded pink scars.

“I’ll kill that Potter,” He vowed. 

“I’m fine,” It was a weak lie.

Right now, I was just exhausted. Over the weeks I had taken snide remarks from Harry at DA and brushed them off for the greater good, but after today I didn’t know if I could stomach another meeting, or even being in the same room as Harry.

Pursing his lips and pressing gentle kisses to my scars, Draco handed me one of his green hours sweaters and headed to the showers. I changed quickly, my fingers curling in the oversized

sweater’s soft fabric. Again, I began to nest in his bed and cocooned myself in pillows and blankets.

He came back out, his hair sleeked back and damp, in sweats and a t-shirt. I didn’t lift my head; my eyes merely followed his form as he laid beside me in bed pulling me close. I reveled in his warmth and scent, my fingers mussing his hair like I had so long ago in the summer.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” His question was soft against my skin.

“I can handle a few comments,” I replied defeated. “I’m a Hufflepuff remember? If it’s not one thing it’s another,” I closed my eyes. “Abby, Ernie, and Hermione always stuck up for me,”

“Y/n. I don’t know if—” He started.

“I’m not going to another meeting, don’t worry,” My voice broke as tears finally started to fall.

“All I do is worry about you,” I could hear the smile in his voice as his fingers carded through my hair. “I’m so sorry,” A gentle kiss was pressed to my hairline.

“It was going to happen eventually,” My tone was glum.

Draco sighed and didn’t comment further. Whatever was in the vial that Snape had given us must have been parted with a Sleeping Potion because I found soft comforting slumber within Draco’s arms.

........................

“This is just getting ridiculous,” I heard a faint voice.

“Imagine if Umbridge knew,” Pansy snickered. “Her golden boy breaking about every rule she’s set,”

“Bugger off,” Draco grumbled groggily, his arms tightening around me. 

“They are too precious,” Abby sighed. “Sun and moon they are,”

“Such a sap aren’t you Abby?” Pansy teased. “Though no one could tell with you next to Maria von Trapp over here,”

I frowned and squinted into the morning light.

“When did you see the Sound of Music?” I asked Pansy, “And why didn’t you tell me you were watching it?” I looked to Abby.

“You were occupied,” Abby grinned, looking over to Draco.

“What’s the Music Sound?” Draco asked sitting up, running a hair through his disaster of a hairstyle.

“The Sound of Music,” I corrected. “One of my favorite movies,” I accused Abby with my tone.

 “Muggle stuff?” Draco mumbled into my shoulder still not completely awake.

“Yes dear,” I smiled and rolled my eyes.

“Like Narnia?” He pressed further.

“Something like that,”

Abby and Pansy both snickered and left Draco’s room. I laid back in bed, pulling Draco onto my chest, petting his hair softly. It was a soft morning filled with lazy kisses and gentle touches. It being Sunday there was no real reason to get up other than food.

The day was spent in desperate hopes to forget the day before. Abby dropped off clothes for me when she came and I silently thanked her, heading to Draco’s bathroom, taking a quick shower and dressing. Snow still covered the grounds, so I slipped Draco’s sweater back over my head as we headed to the Great Hall.

All eyes were on us as we entered. It wasn’t a new occurrence; I was just afraid to meet familiar green eyes. To my comfort, I didn’t. Draco and I ate in peace surrounded by my friends and his. In fact, they formed a makeshift protective bubble around us unknowingly. Any Gryffindor coming near the two of us would get a cold glare from someone in green or yellow. I didn’t like the animosity, but the quietness was nice for once.

November passed like the snow that fell. I didn’t go to another Quidditch match, even though the next one was Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw. Abby understood, muttering something about shoving a broomstick and Harry, but I didn’t ask her to repeat it. I didn’t go to another DA meeting either. I watched the dates change on the charmed Galleon, sighed and slipped it back into my pocket.

“I still want you to be able to protect yourself,” Draco said one night as we studied in the library.

“I’m not going back there,” I snapped stubbornly and sighed. “I can’t... It makes me anxious just thinking about it Dray, and I have midterms and OWLs... and Pinnae has been driving me insane because I haven’t let her out,”

“Okay,” Was all he said with a soft smile. “How about we go let her out now?” 

“Now?” It was the middle of a Saturday the afternoon in mid-December.

Draco shrugged. “As riveting as Niffler Knacks is, I think we need a break,” He closed the book and stood.

In the quiet of my room I morphed into Pinnae and fluttered out the window, flying to the tree beside the frozen lake where I promised to meet Draco. Landing on his shoulder with practiced ease, he pet my head softly and watched as I soared into the sky again. Draco was right, I needed this. The brisk wind in my feathers and the beautiful snow-covered mountains nestling the frozen lake... it took my mind off of everything below me.

On the ground below I had burdens to bear and the world looked so small. There were no doubts or fears from up here. Floating on the wind, I glided through the clouds. From up here everything was mine, every mountain and frozen meadow and there was no reason to cry or fear anything. I let out a victorious screech.

Soaring, I dove back towards the earth, banking left hard, circling around Draco and our tree. Abby and Pansy had joined him, holding hands. Abby waved and cheered me on. Pansy looked confused and Draco just beamed at me.

I flapped against the wind, slowing down and coming to a stop, chirping at my friends. 

“Hey there Feathers,” Abby beamed. “You wanna tell her?” She gestured to Pansy.

I chirped and fluttered to Draco’s shoulder, nuzzling his face before flying up to a low hanging bare tree branch.

“Tell me what?” Pansy asked. “Whose owl is that? Is it Y/n’s?”

I morphed out of Pinnae and watched shock fill her features.

“Actually,” I grinned, swinging my legs, perched on the tree branch. “It is me,”

“Will you get down from there?” Draco scolded.

“Wait, but—that means... and— wait.” Pansy stuttered.

Abby laughed and so did I dropping easily to the ground with a soft thud, cuddling into Draco’s warmth.

“But—” Pansy looked around. “How? No wait—you didn’t talk for a month! That’s why! Has anyone told you that you’re absolutely brilliant!?” Pansy laughed.

“Draco might have mentioned that,” I grinned, looking up at him.

“What’s it like?” She asked. “Have you picked up owl traits? How often do you fly? Can you understand other owls? Other animals?”

“Pansy,” Draco snapped, I merely laughed.

“It’s amazing, yes, this is the first time in a month, not that I know of for the last two,” I answered with ease.

We all walked back to the castle coupled off and huddling from the cold—well, I was huddling into Draco’s comfort, the cold didn’t bother me anymore.

Christmas was all abuzz in the halls of Hogwarts and not even Umbridge could dampen the student body’s spirits. With a few days left of the term, we could all taste the freedom, the past months events all but forgotten in my mind since the day out with Draco, Pansy, and Abby. I found out that Abby and Pansy had gotten together after the fight in November—something about defending each other against other Gryffindors then kissing each other?

For the first time in my life, I looked forward to the holidays.

 Epilogue:

“My mother invited you and your parents over for Christmas Eve,” I told him the last day of term, handing him a sealed letter. “I know it’s a long shot but...” a shrug left my shoulders.

“My mother might accompany me, my father...” Draco trailed off.

I righted his school robe, readjusting his scarf so that it hung correctly.

“Don’t stress about it Draco. Let me know if you need Pinnae.” I looked up at him through my eyelashes and watched his mask melt back off since I mentioned his father.

“I will,” He smiled and pressed a soft kiss to my lips.

.

.

Chapter 4

End Note: Please let me know what you think! Your words and reblogs are so important to me always! Don’t be afraid to reblog and comment! I’m nice I swear!

Tags: @un-limiteddd @geekysimmerthings @coffee-addicti @msmcsmutt @ravn-87 @artemismohr18 @whygz @crazywritingbug @dolphincommander @bisexualbumblebeesstuff @fuzzy-panda@bitemebro522 @zombiesnips-blog @jillanaholland @shookyungsoo @savingdraco @welcometomyworldwithoutrules @akari180 @slytherin-emerald @chaotic-good-gemini @memalfoy-spidey@theres-a-dog-outside-omg @queenfeatherwings @fanficflaneuse @go-whovian-universe @spicyshenanigans @darling-im-not-okay-i-promise @dietkiwi@katsukink @takemetothekingdom @strangerr-things @tmnt-queen @mccloudchloe @hxneybgb @justsomerandomgur @belcvayelena @moviesbooksandfandoms @howdycharlie @littlethingsinmymindla @xtrashmouthxtozierx @cocochanelthepupper @ninacotte@mccloudchloe @braelynn-j @jiggllyy @honeymarvel @go-whovian-universe @darcypottah @atomicpunkrock @thiccheerioss @lottie289 @boredashaeck @beautiful-pegasus @tceedlmao @deadlynyghtshayde​ @iconjuresnapeingrandmaclothes​ @anonymous034​ @bi-andready-tocry​ @lunna-does-real-doodle​

[mintseesaw]

Aurora | 4

Pairing: general!jungkook x reader!princess x prince!jimin Genre: angst, fluff, historical au, forbidden love affair au Word count: 8.3k Warnings: themes of abduction and insurgence, imposing abortion as a punishment, story setting is heavily patriarchal // rating: 18+

translations of unfamiliar words will be provided below ^^

*unedited

masterlist

Previously...

“Did you miss me, Princess ________?” You heard him greet from behind. The sultry yet sweet tone of his voice, compelling you to face him as if your unwillingness to meet him so suddenly wasn’t there, anymore.

With a graceful turn, your solicitous expression caused by your unintended tryst last night gone in a flash tipping your chin forward to display a false confidence in front of the prince.

The amusement on his face widens, taking notice of the exceptional glow radiating from the princess. Have you been dolling yourself up just for him? The certain strangeness in the dark of your orbs igniting fire in him before he blinks and it vanishes, gone without a trace of acknowledgement from the weight of your stare.

He crosses the offending distance, smiling sweetly before he took hold of your hand and kisses your knuckles with an ardent gaze clashing against yours that harbor the coldness he had grown accustomed with.

“My lord,” an old man hurriedly attended to Jungkook just as he took an empty table without a word. Must be the owner of the stall. Uttering his request, the owner bobbed his head low before vanishing from his line of vision.

He was supposedly going to have breakfast with you after having tediously cooked the dishes, himself. The lack of light in your eyes and your dead enthusiasm had spoiled his appetite, and severely wounded his soul. Nothing could probably ease the ache sitting beneath his ribcage. Not when the intimacy he shared with you the night before and your cold treatment of him earlier painfully reverberated in his head like a roaring thunder in the sky.

You, giving him mixed signals, confused the hell out of his weak, young heart. 

What am I supposed to do with you, Jagiya?

Perhaps, it was the uncertainty that was instigated by your emotions. That must have been the only reason.

Shortly after, the old man came back with an empty cup, pouring it full with rice wine from the bronze pitcher he brought with him. Jungkook mumbled an audible thanks before chugging down the alcohol like an angry man on his bad day.

“This isn’t something we both have a choice of.”

Your voice echoes in his head. A sweet, delicate voice that could easily slice his heart into two with your mere heartless words. A smirk made its way on his face, despite the amusement never reaching up his eyes.

There is nothing left to decide on because you’ll be with him in the end. He wouldn’t leave you, again. He wouldn’t lose his only chance he has to claim you as rightfully his. When he almost lost you back in the days you were young, right in his arms, before his eyes— it was the day he promised to show you what his heart truly desires. Whatever the cost may be.

He had never been that frantic in his life. Not even when he saw with his own eyes the deep cut in his arm gushing too much blood when he was young. Not when two poisonous arrows almost killed him in the battlefield.

When he stripped the covering off of the suspicious cart in search of any sign of you, the last thing he was expecting to see was your unconscious body, with your restrained arms and a piece of cloth stuffed in your mouth. With your aristocratic braids gone, he couldn’t see much of your face as your hair hung loose covering half of your face as your body lied down in a foetal position, as if you tried to make up with the little space the average sized cart provided which was filled dominantly by materials of what looked like rolls of linens of various colors.

He knew it was you.

Despite the filth covering your attire down to the skin of your bare hands, and your seemingly thinner frame, the mere sight of the body screams everything about you.

At the time, his younger self was almost sure he was going to explode at any moment from the excruciating constriction in his chest.

His eyes were livid while they scanned over the blood bathed bodies scattered around the cart that were slain by the sharp edges of his sword, looking for another sign of danger. When he was certain that none of the rebels on the ground were moving, he dropped his weapon.

“Princess!” He calls out, his bloody hands leaving imprints of the dirt-covered article of your hanbok as he shook your shoulders none too gently, desperate to wake you.

To no avail, you remain unconscious. The sight of you in a devastating state dreaded him. His younger self thought his world right there and then was collapsing, his surroundings slowing down and his gaze shrinking and focusing into you alone. Not even a pittance of fear shook him despite killing a group of rebels, none of the fact that he stood there alone fighting for his life did. None. Not until he pulled the bamboo mat off of the cart.

Where the fuck is that old man?

It’s been hours since Lord Min suddenly came up to his residence, forcing him out of his slumber at dawn without telling him the purpose of his abrupt disturbance.

When the scholar said he found another lead, Jungkook only took it lightly—not knowing it would turn out to be the key to finally locate you.

Lord Min led him to a trail behind a group of merchants who were supposed to exchange goods on the capital’s port with Mongolian merchants. When the suspicious group split into two directions— it left him and the scholar no option but to part ways as well. However, Jungkook insisted on following the merchants who particularly brought their supposed cart of goods.

As soon as he took his outer layer of robe to cover it on your shivering body, the morning breeze hits him mercilessly. Discreetly, he gathers you in his arms. As he sets you on his lap on the ground, he removes the cloth in your mouth, while pressing a trembling hand on your chest to feel your heartbeat.

“Your Highness,” he tried once more when he sensed a faint beating against your chest. His hands shuffle to remove the tie around your wrists.

“Come on… open your eyes for me, Princess.” He whispered desperately, tears freely rolling down on his cheeks without him ever noticing.

He gasped when he caught the slightest bit of movement from you. He thought he might have been hallucinating out of his desperation to see you alive. But then, you proved him wrong as your heavy eyelids slowly peeled open, before they closed shut, again.

“Your Highness! Please… do you hear me? Can you open your eyes again?”

You did, and with your slightly parted mouth, you drew a breath in heavily.

“W-Who are you?” you managed to rasp, almost inaudibly. However, he was too close not to miss what you said. Too close to be deemed righteous around the lady he desires. He didn’t care, because your cold body needed as much as heat from him. Nothing else mattered more to him than to save your life.

“It’s me, Jungkook. I am Prince Taehyung’s friend—“

“I-I… must… be dreaming,” you croaked in between dry, painful coughs.

“You’re not dreaming. Please, don’t talk. It's hurting you.” He chokes back a sob.

“Is this real? You finally noticed me,” you pause, only to breathe through your mouth once more. “I’m… tired, I want to rest,” you say without opening your eyes. But the moisture pooling out of your eyes meant one thing to him. You’ve been suffering from immense pain.

“No, no, no. Please, stay with me. Lord Min is coming to get us. He’ll be here soon,” he coos, not caring how he sounded a little more desperate, taking your cold hands up in his mouth to warm them up.

Jungkook continuously rocked your shivering body back and forth on his lap, never removing his eyes on you. He wanted to embrace you tight, cover you with his body to protect you from the horrible cold of the morning weather but he was afraid he would crush you.

He waited, waited and helplessly waited. Lord Min would come find him. That was what he reminded Jungkook as before they parted ways in the woods.

It was him and Lord Min who found you, even when the King had ordered a mass search for his missing daughter.

---

Although your disappearance was largely perceived as abduction, neither evidence nor eye witness was found to support the claim, hence stirring the urge to find you, himself. Roughly 10 days after you were last seen, not even a single trace of your whereabouts had been identified. Something was definitely off with the way the case was being handled. The lack of progress on the investigation drove the King in extreme desperation as well as the court in anguish due to the King’s adverse political decisions.

In spite of the rumors of insurgence spreading like a common gossip story in the villages surrounding the capital, the rumors fall on deaf ears in the court on the possibility that your disappearance was plotted by the rebel forces. As if the missing person was not a princess whom the rebels could use as a pawn to bend the King on his knees.

Jungkook spent most of his days in the capital, inside the gambling houses, pretending to play with men of all sorts of class. On some days, he visited the courtesan’s house capital marketplace under the disguise of an interested guest due to the rumors that some gisaengs, at the time, were avid followers of the insurgence. At nights, he pieced together the collective stories he tediously gathered during the day.

One day, he decided to make progress on his investigation, spying on a group of merchants trading with Jurchen merchants who were pretending under the guise of Mongolian heritage. It was Mina, a gisaeng whom he somehow befriended when his visits at the courtesan’s house had frequented, who shared her discovery of a Mongolian merchant accidentally revealing his identity when he fluently spoke a dialect she distinguished as her mother tongue since she was a Jurchen-born immigrant.

He didn’t find any suspicious or illegal goods being traded on the port nor could he confirm the real heritage of the merchants. However, on his way back to the capital, he was cornered by a man he recognized as one of the merchants in the port.

To his surprise, the merchant was strangely skilled enough to defeat him in a fight— scoring a severe cut on Jungkook’s side. He didn’t think the merchant would be merciful enough to let him live when Jungkook fell to the ground after what seemed like several minutes of intense sword-to-sword combat. Strangely enough, the merchant was forgiving and instead of ending the life out of him, the merchant took his time to scrutinize every item inside the satchel Jungkook brought with him. By then, he had already sensed that the man was anything but a mere trader.

Breathing heavily, he pressed his hand hard to his bloody waist as he watches the merchant curiously unfold a piece of hanji. It was the trade map he had drawn a few days ago, alongside the location where the camp can be found.

Jungkook knew it was over for him as he saw a glint of recognition in the eyes of the merchant.

After what seemed to be a long moment of silence, the merchant looks at him. “What is this map for?”

Jungkook laughed dryly and as his shoulders shook a little, a surge of pain shot in his core. He winces as the sensation doubled over his effort to make fun of the act the merchant was pulling in front of him.

“Are you one of them?”

If the merchant understood what he meant, he simply chose to ignore it. “I’m asking you a question, kid.”

“You’re one of them, are you not? I’m most certain you know what that map is.” Jungkook gritted through his teeth as the pain on his side intensified, spreading like a magma on his midriff.

By now, the merchant’s focus zeroed in on him. “You know about the camp? Who do you work for, kid?” The merchant interrogates, further. Though the man remained passive, Jungkook found it odd to notice the slightest bit of awe in the eyes of the strange man. 

“You tell me, you act like you know my every activity.”

The merchant only raised an eyebrow. “Well, here’s the truth. I’m not a rebel. I’m not a merchant, either. I will help you if you tell me what you have gotten about the camp so far.”

Jungkook darted a glare at him. “As you can see, I’m heavily wounded, literally. You think I still care?”

“You’ll live,” the merchant dismisses nonchalantly, which made Jungkook scoff in disbelief.

“Look kid, I’m not going to kill you. But in exchange for your life, you’ll help me follow the movement.”

“It’s not like you gave me an option to decline.” Jungkook weakly contended.

The merchant effortlessly helped him up from the ground, “Come on, my grandfather is a physician. He’ll tend to your wound.”

Jungkook learned that the merchant who introduced himself as Lord Min turned out to be a scholar. He was writing a case relative to the alleged insurgence centering mostly in poor villages in the capital. Although he didn’t fully trust the scholar, sparing Jungkook his life was enough reason for him to disclose the true nature of his investigation to the scholar who was, at the time, penning colloquial stories about the insurgence.

Lord Min paused his scribbling, throwing a look of surprise at his new-found friend. “Did I hear you right? You believed the princess was abducted by the rebels?”

Jungkook only shrugged, already concluding what the scholar would say next. “It’s not the first time someone thought I was going crazy for telling them that.”

“Don’t get me wrong. I have been following the movement for months now,” Lord Min asserted, which prompted Jungkook to look back at him. “And since I heard about the sudden disappearance of the princess, it was the only theory I could come up with. Unless…” Lord Min trailed, taking notice of the interest glinting in Jungkook’s eyes.

“Unless?” Jungkook echoed expectantly.

Lord Min pretended to be in deep thought before adding up, “There is a lover involved.”

In disbelief, Jungkook threw a scornful look at him. “There’s no man in her life, I’m sure of that.” He remarked with conviction, folding his arms in his chest.

To his surprise, Lord Min hollered into fits of laughter, only severing the look of disdain on Jungkook’s expression. “For a young soldier like you, you seemed to be a little more concerned about the princess.” The older man remarked, meaningfully.

---

“Isn’t it too early to be drinking on your own, kid?” Taunts a voice, forcing him out of his reverie. With a lift of his head, his eyes landed on a commoner seemingly older than him adorned in a daffodil shade of a simple robe. Half of the man’s face was covered in conical shaped hat and just as the man tipped it high with his fingers, Jungkook immediately recognized the person standing across his table.

Your breath hitches on your throat as the warmth of his mouth sends tingles straight through your veins. With a subtle tug of your hand from his hold, the prince almost didn’t take your silent plea, not without his companion guard clearing their throat that snapped him out of daze.

If there’s particularly one thing that stood out to him aside from his aristocratic, --almost polished physical features, it was his forthright admission of his feelings on you. The was the he had made a move in regards to feelings. You appreciate the way he had not once tried to break into your boundaries for his satisfaction.

After what had happened, the least person you expected to see is him. The only man who had the guts to be with you despite the rumors that tainted your reputation. Guilt thrums heavily through your veins more than the throbbing of your muscles in your body.

Jimin deserves someone far better than what you can offer. Not with your heart, and most definitely not with your broken chastity.

“Your Excellency,” you greeted, tilting your head low in a subtle bow. Your eyes stayed firm on the ground, refusing to return his stare as you murmur, “I trust your journey has not been too much for you?”

You missed the way your concern roused a smile up on his flawless face or you would have flushed right away. “It was as expected. I am an impatient man, but it was worth the trouble now that my reward is standing in front of me.”

Taken aback at this teasing remark, your mouth unconsciously parted. You didn’t have the time to retract from the proximity he initiated just as he extended his arm, his palm meeting one of your cheeks as he tilts your chin up to meet his gaze. The pad of his thumb feather lightly caresses the softness of your skin there.

The abruptness of his move left you immobile for a moment, the heat coming from his hand involuntarily eliciting goosebumps to come out on your covered arms.

“Have you been well, little flower? I couldn’t be at peace knowing your health is not in the best condition. I was a thread of breath away from forcing my way into your quarters just to check on you myself, but you may never forgive me for if I ever disrespect your privacy.”

“There’s nothing to worry of. Mayhaps... my body has not been reacting too kindly to the cold weather. I had since taken herbal teas to help me recover.” The lie glided smoothly out of your tongue, piercing your lower lip with your teeth to prevent yourself from throwing up out of disgust.

The way his head bobs up lightly made you believe he bought your excuse. “Very well. Will you allow me to accompany you?” He whispers, as if it’s possible to turn down a powerful man like him. 

“Of course, Your Excellency.” The smile you plastered on your face was enough to conceal your fears for now.

At your answer, the court ladies immediately hurried towards the recreational area, pulling the wooden chairs for you and the prince to sit on.

You take the opportunity to pull back from his touch as an excuse to occupy one of the chairs. 

Mimicking your move, he settled on a seat, one that was the closest to yours. He then motions a dismissive wave on the watchful eyes of his guards, giving him and the rest of the court ladies a silent order to leave you two alone. With a bow, everyone retreated back down onto the ground, obediently.

As he turns his attention back at you, he asks, “Do you like to tease me, Princess?”

“W-What do you mean?” Your stutter evoked a subtle grin to reappear on the corners of his mouth. While your insides are a mess, the delight shining in his eyes lets you know he couldn’t see right through your miserable heart.

The subtle smile on the corners of his mouth stretches wider, “You know I like it when you call me by my name.”

His teasing once again scores a twin stain on your cheeks. Although you remain placid with his remark, he didn’t miss the immediate rush of blood coloring your face that, in return, earned a smirk from him.

Blinking, you straightened your back. “Why are you not appropriately dressed for the season, Your Excellency?”

Prince Jimin beamed in your attempt of changing the subject, eyes glimmering in glee. “My attire is fine. Mayhaps, if you are concerned, I can put on another layer of thick robe.”

Quickly, you shake your head. “There’s no need for such if you don’t feel like the weather is too much for you. Winter has just begun and only a few weeks more before the weather becomes unbearable, especially for envoys like yourself.”

“I can only imagine how our departure would be like.”

“You chose to come to the kingdom during the winter. Is there something that’s urgent on your purpose not to delay it until the weather has calmed down?”

”The only urgent thing I found was to see you. Have I not made it clear from the beginning?”

You purse your lips, afraid to voice out your thoughts. On the other hand, Jimin was way too deep in the subject to notice the slightest bit of trouble reflecting in your eyes.

“I didn’t think any woman would stir my interest after having my heart broken when I was young. You know, my brother—the Emperor gifted me a marriage in exchange for my service in the military. I was supposed to leave the palace for a while to visit my bride. The Emperor halted my plan only to have me represent him on his behalf during the coronation of Queen Soheon. If I didn’t come here, I would have been married by now.”

Burying your trembling hands on your lap, you distracted yourself with the beauty of the winter blooms on the pond, swallowing the gasp that threatened to spill as an involuntary reaction. His revelation left a lasting impact on you. In your head, you could hear yourself screaming the truth in front of him. He shouldn’t be this infatuated over you.

“Perhaps, you are well enough to company out of the palace? You still owe me a tour to the capital.” The prince posits all too suddenly.

Swiftly, he stood up and offered a helping hand in front of you. The sun is barely out, concealed with the thick layers of clouds to which is a great opportunity to wander around in the marketplace. Your false confidence slowly faltering as seconds turn to minutes with his gaze sweeping on your whole length. You accepted his hand, granting his wish. It was the least you could do to make up for him travelling a thousand miles to see you.

The following day, an event is set to be held in Changdeok to pay tribute for army’s victory in defeating the rebel forces in one of the borders in Joseon. Hours earlier than the customary outset in the palace, the finishing touches on the day’s festivities have already been wrapped up by the court ladies even before the sun rises on the east.

Historically, the day held no significance to the royal court nor to any prominent military figure in the nation. However, some weeks prior to the present day, the king received a letter from the young general relative to the army’s arrival to the capital, hence, the sudden establishment of a dogam to organize a jinchan for the returning heroes from the northern border.

With the anticipated attendance of the royal family in the morning banquet, you were forced to rise at dawn to prepare for your participation for the festivity.

Shortly after the attendants have finished braiding your hair, your morning tea was served just before you are set to leave your quarters.

“There will be two more banquets after the event in the morning, Your Highness.” Hyowon, one of the court ladies attending to your daily nourishment answers when you absentmindedly voiced out your thought as she pours a tea on your cup.

Fortunately, you were not foolish enough to utter the name of the man who’s been haunting your dreams since time immemorial. She may only be a distant relative of Jungkook, but the same blood runs thick in their veins and you wouldn’t want to embarrass yourself in front of anyone, much less to anyone related to him.

You nodded, taking your cup and hold it up to your lips.

Traditionally, the nighttime festivity is said to be the most anticipated from all sorts of celebrations as the audience who are commonly from noble descent look forward on the performances of high-class entertainers. Jungkook is obligated to attend all the events for the day as one of the honorary guests of the jinchan.  

The supposed banquet is going to be your first attendance in a political gathering ever since you were given the title of a gongju on your seventh birthday. The thought was making you uneasy in some way in case something unforeseen transpires during the celebration, that it would be denunciated by the curse you were forced to live with in your lifetime. However, the thought of him present in the same room with you brings more in disarray. 

A court lady from the dogam came to escort you to the reception afterwards. And not long after the arrival of Queen, the massive doors of the dining hall flew opened, revealing the King as he enter the premises.

Perhaps, you would still have had a clear view on whole expanse of the dining hall if not for the ivory article covering the totality of the platform where you and the rest of the royal palace women.

Meals have been simultaneously served just as the King had announced the ceremonial toast indicating the beginning of the celebration. An instrumental piece played by the musicians proceeded after, keeping the atmosphere pleasantly solemn despite the audible chatters in the hall.

From your seat, you could only see the king’s back as he led the banquet—sitting at the head of the table while the rest of the state and military officials sat in two long sets of vertically-arranged sobans. Despite the barrier, it was not difficult for you to locate where the man of your thoughts was settled at just by the mere sight of his silhouette. There he was beside Prince Taehyung, seemingly fascinated with the performances on the center if not occupied with something Prince Taehyung was telling him.

You could never change the way you treated him so poorly, yesterday. Your hostility was uncalled for, but perhaps, it was enough to displease him enough to lose his interest in you.

“You are not eating your meal, Gongju. Are the dishes not to your liking?” Princess Consort Sooyoung asks. Unlike you, your sister-in-law seems to enjoy the sumptuous serving on the soban, as opposed to your lack of enthusiasm on the food.

“It’s not that. Perhaps, it was too early for me to consume anything solid after I had my morning the tea.”

You drag your hand up on the table, picking up the pair of chopsticks to nestle them in between your fingers. To ease her worry, you attempted to touch the sweet flavored delicacy among the servings.

The banquet progressed rather slowly. As hours passed by, your legs grew numb from the lack of physical movement. It didn’t help that the remnants of muscle aches from your intimacy with Jungkook still lingers. Your sister-in-law caught the discomfort in your expression.

“Gongju,” Princess Consort Sooyoung calls for your attention, once more.

Tearing your gaze away from Jungkook, you tilt your head on the side to meet her solicitous eyes.

“Is your breathing alright? I noticed your heaving has frequented.”

“Uhh...I’m alright, Bubuin.” You falter. Instinctively, your eyes flew back to where he was situated. Your sister-in-law followed the trail of your gaze, and it was only then that she had pieced together the reason.

She chuckles softly, “I thought you were having difficulty with your breathing.”

Your face incredibly flushed with her words.

She didn’t attempt to speak to you after that, seemingly distracted in one of the ceremonial performances of the banquet.

Three hours later, the first phase of the jinchan had finally come to conclude to your relief.

When it was your turn to be escorted out of the hall, you couldn’t help but skim your eyes across the expansive lot. Of course, the chances of running into him are very slim to none. Not only that he was in a rush to leave the reception, but he would also take the path on the west out of the palace while you would take the opposite direction to go back to your quarters.

You thought wrong. Because the moment you arrive at the entrance of the Gyeongbok, you catch on the back of his frame on the small stretch between the library and the tall concrete wall.

Your heart instantly jumped at the mere sight of him adorned on the same uniform he wore the day before. But something didn’t make sense. What is he doing in the main palace—hiding there right after the banquet has ended?

The court lady remained still behind you as you tried to build up the courage to approach him. Perhaps, apologize for your behavior yesterday. But then as he shifted on his feet, you caught a glimpse of a hanbok across him— appearing nothing like the clothing of any man. A lady.

“You have the freedom to choose any woman in your life.”

Your own words hurriedly came rushing back on you, nearly losing your footing when the weight on your chest grew heavier. You couldn’t breathe.

“Princess—” you jumped at the sound of a low baritone voice from behind, the same voice you’ve known by heart since you were little. 

Sheepishly, you turned to face your brother, his forehead crumpled causing his eyebrows to meet into a line.

“You looked like you’ve seen an apparition,” Prince Taehyung jests, with his face remaining passive without a trace of playfulness despite his obvious teasing.

That’s because you did! You seethed, internally. With an ugly emotion slowly seeping through your veins, you find it difficult to display indifference as if something—someone was not putting you in an emotional distress.

“Your Excellency,” you greeted half-heartedly.

“You are aware about the luncheon tomorrow, right? I am expecting you in my courtyard, little flower.”

“Of course,” You briefly answered. His face finally stretched into a grin, ruffling your neatly braided hair before bidding a farewell.

When you spun back to peer at the spot where Jungkook and his female companion were standing— nothing. No one was there anymore. Jungkook is gone, and so is the lady he was with.

The scene remained etched in your brain the rest of your day. Being unable to stay still in the confines of your quarters, you decided to do readings in in the library.

You were alone, just like what you have asked to your attendants, with the exception of a guard outside. Shortly after going through the shelves in the House of Yi section, you once again stumbled upon a book of biographical sketches after secretly reading the book several years ago. The sight of it alone refreshes your memory of the things you have discovered written in the pages of the books—specifically about Princess Moyoung, your grandfather’s eldest sister who slowly died in the hands of her husband who was born from a fourth class family.

It was said to be the matter that pressured the next royal generations to marry off any king’s daughter to a yangban which was prohibited prior to the princess’ unfortunate case to avoid any arising political conflicts.

It was the same thought that bothered you even when you had gone back in your quarters, bathed, and dressed in your night robe. If your father were still living, would he insist on keeping you in the palace? Or would he allow your supposed matrimonial union with Jimin over one with Jungkook?

However, you understand that either selection is a sacrifice. Life is about losing something to gain something else. You know what will be taken from you if you were to possibly end up with Jungkook. But what could you have possibly gained if you were to lose the man who owns your soul? An extravagant life with the prince?

The ache in your heart has sat idly in your chest since this morning. Your time in the library seemed to have worsened your distress as pain starts to sear in your head.

You stood up. Your attendant mimicking your movement to smoothen the sleeves of your silk robe. “I do not wish to be followed,” you simply say. They crouched their upper body low, conveying a silent message of obedience.

As you pass through the L-shaped corridor leading to the outdoor of your quarters, the rectangular hallway making up the main pathway of the courtyard is eerily quiet and empty. With subtle luminance provided by the light torches on each post you passed by, it was just as exactly the way you expected Gyeongbok during this time around. The reason why you chose to be alone since no one else will run into your way this time of night.

However, at your third turn, just as you enter the borderline of the queen’s courtyard, you hear a distinct sound of door opening from afar followed by the heavy, collective footsteps ringing in the air. As the footsteps grew louder, you hurriedly ran to the side of the greenhouse to hide, afraid of being seen without a companion to look after your care.

“Your Majesty!”

You bite your lip as your heartbeat picks up at the sound of a male voice—assumingly the queen’s eunuch, as if in desperation to stop Her Majesty to wherever she intends to go at this hour.

You didn’t know how long you were hiding there at the side of the greenhouse but it wasn’t long enough for you to be able to hold your breath until the traces of the footsteps were fading.

When any sign of human sound was out of earshot, you finally heave a sigh out of relief, taking a solid peek through the corner of the wooden wall to confirm your guess. Considering the pathway clear and safe from any presence, you cautiously proceed back to your footpath.

Merely focused on either side of your vision, you failed to sense that someone was making their way onto your direction. Their presence became known only when your arm was snatched from behind and a calloused palm right away covered your mouth, losing your chance to call for help. Panic immediately surges through your veins, your shock causing you to freeze momentarily.

Even without having a single look at your perpetrator, the feel of his thick arm around your waist lets you know you don’t stand a chance against their immense built and incredible strength. Just as you recovered from your shock, you frantically squirmed about against their hold but the more you struggle, the tighter their arm gets around your waist, pulling you flushed against their body.

“Why is Lady Yi- being punished?” Demanded Queen Soheon the moment she stepped foot inside the King’s quarters.

King Namjoon sprang up to his feet to meet her half-way, concern stirring immediate in him at the sight of his wife, noting the way her voice unusually croaked and holding such heavy emotion. He silently curses, taking notice how upset she had seemed to be over the scandal the concubine had caused all to herself.

“Sit down, my love. You shouldn’t allow your emotions to run high, it’s not good for your condition.”

Queen Soheon is always calm and graceful no matter how grave the situation is. He had not once witnessed her lose her innate grace ever since he married her, with the exception of the times he was intimate with her.

“Why?” She repeated, her eyes burning with fire.

“My love—”

“Jeonha, please… stop with your sweet filters and answer me why you didn’t stop them from forcing her to drink the medicine?”

He sighs just as he attempted to place her in his embrace. To his dismay, she pulled a good amount of distance between them, clearly setting the line of her anger on the matter, right straight to him.

How can he possibly be sure you would never find this matter out when only a slip of a tongue can give her the idea of what transpired some hours ago.

“You know I cannot disrespect Halma-mama’s power when it comes to the women in the inner court.”

As the Grand Royal Dowager Queen holds the highest rank in the inner court, it would only be necessary to say his grandmother ordered the punishment, when in fact it was never her idea to impose a harsh discipline on the concubine. However, the appeal of the elders in the inner court to decide on the fate of her unlawful conceiving resulted in a consensus decision to abort the unborn child. Unless the queen is proven to be sterile, the inner court strictly prohibits the harem to carry a King’s child. 

“She is carrying your child!”

He knows that, very well. But he wished his wife would refrain from carrying the weight of her emotions as it might put a toll on her health and consequently affect their unborn child. “Calm down,” King Namjoon prompted cautiously.

He could never forgive himself for failing to protect his unborn child from being stripped off the chance to live in a world where his/her father rules out a kingdom. Never in this lifetime and in the next would he ever learn to spare himself the forgiveness.

“You know, Lady Li and I are both with child. If I were not your queen, you’d simply allow them to get rid of my child, would you not?”

He reaches out, once more. “No, no. Of course, not. Not under my watch.”

But the queen was quick enough to retract from the close proximity.

Perhaps, he was right. He cannot have the power to overrule the inner court, but why does his words feel insincere? It made her suddenly fear for her own child’s life despite the position she holds. When her mother warned her about the sickening life in the palace and the doctrines in the inner court, she never thought it would come to this extent.

How can she look at his family and pretend everything is alright. One wrong move and might lose her child as well.

All too suddenly, she could feel herself slowly being overwhelmed with disgust, needing the urge to throw up.  

She couldn’t stand being here, to see anyone just yet. She fixes a glare at her attendants, warning them not to follow her. Her eyes lingered on him for a second before she took a swift turn, exiting her way out of the vicinity.

With quick strides, he followed her trail, only to spin back around, skimming through each one of servants in his quarters.

“No one must follow me or the queen,” his eyes particularly burned at his eunuch. “Do you understand?” He glowered, not waiting for them to answer as he too disappeared into the halls of his royal residence.

When you felt their grasp loosening, you began thrashing out as fear dominated your senses. Even with their hand pressed firmly on your mouth, you could hear your own sobs croaking out of your throat. And as if your pellucid fear had triggered them to stiffen, their hold around your waist loosened. But the adrenaline running in your senses all vanished the moment they finally spoke.

“Jagiya.”

Your eyes went round, recognizing the owner of the voice. He lets his hand fall from your mouth. 

”J-Jungkook?” you hesitated. While you remained flushed against his body, you couldn’t be sure of their identity.

Swiftly, he spun you around to confirm your assumption for yourself. The light torches were a little far where you two stood but there was no denying it was him, judging by the little features of his face you could make out through the help of the vibrant moon lighting up in the sky behind him.

Yet, his action had already shaken you up, feeling the loud beating of your heart. All of your emotional baggage rushing all at once, you couldn’t help but lash out to him, seeing his chest as a target to release all your frustrations.

“Why did you do that?! I thought I was being kidnapped,” you anguished, horror remained etched on your face.

He took all your hits without a fight as guilt all too sudden consumed him after realizing the effect of what he had done. “I’m sorry, Jagiya. I didn’t mean to scare you,” he murmurs, drying the moisture on the corners of your eyes with his thumbs. The moon was like a spotlight focused solely on yours, giving him the clear view of your weary face.

It wasn’t long before you calmed down. Now, all you feel is shame as your anger washes out of your system with every hit of your fist against his chest. Your head bobbed lower, “Just... don’t do that, again.”

Hearing him whisper a promise not to repeat the same mistake, you all but give him a curt nod, allowing the silence to fill in the moment.

Jungkook, once again, made you upset, the second time he had gotten himself close to you after his return to the capital. Must he keep making you in anguish just whenever he’s around you? It was wrong of him to catch your attention the way he had just done when he could’ve simply called you out to do it. But after seeing the queen and her maids passing by the same path you’re about to take, he didn’t want to make an unnecessary sound in case anyone’s lurking around without him seeing through the vicinity covered in almost pitch black.

He wondered why you seemed determined to go on your way despite going on around without a company. 

“Where are you going—”

“What are you doing here—”

You stilled just as he was surprised to hear you spoke the same time he decided to break the silence.

“I saw you going out of your quarters.” He simply answered. It was true. He left the festive banquet at the east to randomly visit your residence. He knew it would be unnecessary to invite himself into the premises so he just stood there, particularly waiting for nothing to kill time before he leaves the palace.

But then he saw the outermost doors of your residence opening, revealing none other than the subject of his thoughts. Then the rest was history.

“W-What? Are you spying on me?”

“Spying?” He chuckles at your choice of your words. He would’ve honestly accepted stalking better. “The banquet’s getting too loud to my liking. I’d rather spend my time with you. Mayhaps, luck is finally on my side when I saw you just in time— going out.”

Hearing his words earned a scoff from you. Wasn't he just with a woman this morning? Not to mention, it was one of the reasons why you randomly sought the need to breathe in some fresh air on a cold, winter night.

“I guess if you’re not distracted with your prince, you would have immediately caught the sound of my footing. Where are you going, anyway? Will you go see him?”

Your mouth parted in disbelief, “You didn’t hear anything from me when you were the one hiding with a woman just this morning.”

Hiding with a woman? For a second, his forehead crumpled in thought, recalling his activities prior to this moment. He couldn’t seem to remember when he actually hid with a woman. He didn’t even talk to any woman earlier in the morning, except for a friend—

“Ahh,” He hums in understanding, “Jagi, I’m not hiding with Mina—”

“Mina?”

He recalls speaking with Mina after the latter who belonged to the group of gisaengs during the banquet who recognized him inside the reception and was only able to catch up after him at the entrance main palace. Mina enthusiastically dragged him behind the closest infrastructure to briefly speak to him in peace without potentially attracting an audience.

“I met her a long time ago. Jagiya—“

“Forget it,” you immediately dismissed, but with him not missing the way color bloomed on your cheeks. “It’s not my business to hold it against you. You’re free to do as you wish.”

Are you being serious? How can you think he can be possibly interested to another woman? 

He tilts your chin up so he can see your pretty eyes, clearly. “What are you saying, Jagiya? I thought we’ve already established that I’m yours. Have I not?”

He heard no answer from you, but didn’t miss the subtle shake of your head.

“No?” He echoes, the frown on his face deepens. Still, you refused to speak nor return the heavy weight of his peer.

“Our lovemaking wasn’t enough, was it?” His sudden brought up to the matter which should never be spoken of made you dart your eyes back up at him. There it was again, the same emotions reflecting in your eyes the morning when you put a cold shoulder at him. He couldn’t quite decipher the signals you were giving him.

“Jungkook, we’re not together anymore.”

“Then would you rather be with the prince over me?”

You look away, even though you really wanted to give an answer. 

“I haven’t seen your beautiful smile since I came back, Jagi. But you were smiling a lot around him. Gods, was I jealous when you showed him of such privilege I was deprived of.” He groans, slowly inching his face closer, as if testing your reaction to his advance.

He took your lack of withdrawal as a sign to keep going. Silently, you gave him the freedom to intrude your personal space.

“You saw us,” you murmur, confirming it to yourself more than throwing it as a question to him.

Your jaw went slack, shamelessly anticipating for his lips to touch yours. Closer. Until your noses bumping, his mouth a breath away from touching your plump lips. It almost happened. Almost. Because just as he shifts his head a centimeter forward, finally capturing your awaiting lips with his, a cry of protest loudly resonated through the air, echoing as the sound bounces back from the empty silence.

“Stop following me!” The voice was undoubtedly owned by a woman.

If Jungkook didn’t recognize  the voice, you certainly did. Her voice was too familiar for you not to identify her as the Queen, forcing you to draw back from the proximity immediately. Once again, panic courses through you, rapidly consuming your senses as fear worsened your capability to think rationally in a situation such as this.

Your wide eyes stared back Jungkook in a silent plea.

It wasn’t clear to you how far she was from both of you, but the nearing claps of footsteps tells you the queen and whoever was following her are passing by behind the greenhouse. If they decided to take a turn right across where you two stood, they will certainly not miss the sight of you seemingly in a rendezvous with Jungkook.

“I said—Jeonha!”

You gasp, slapping a hand to your mouth, utterly stunned at what you just heard. Jeonha? Does that mean she was addressing her order to your brother?

“The K-King is here...” you stammer.

He hushed you, silently telling you to keep still as he cages you against the outer wall of the greenhouse, as if shielding you from any potential eyesight. He was too close as he let his head hang low just beside the shell of your ear. You could hear his heavy breathing, the warmth oozing naturally from his body seemed to calm your nerves in some way, nearly forgetting about the predicament both of you are in, nearly missing the silence lingering in the air.

Are they gone?

Despite your pellucid reaction, Jungkook seems not one bit shaken by the fact you two are a thread away from being seen together in the dark.

Suddenly, he shifted onto your left, breaking his manmade territory around you to move further away from where you two were supposed to be hiding.

“Jungkook!” you desperately called for his attention in a panicked whisper.

Nervously, you watch his back as he extends his neck to peep behind the greenhouse. It didn’t take him long before he whirled back around, and in a flash, grapples your wrist and dragged you into the opposite direction.

“Where are we going?”

Though Jungkook could hear the agitation in your tone, he ignored your question, averting his focus to hide you and make no sound at all. The couple turned out to be closer than he had guessed them to be.

Just as he stopped in front of the doors of the greenhouse, he heard you argue about his choice of hiding spot, but ignored you for the second time.

In a calculated shuffling on the rusted bar keeping the twin panel of doors closed, he flicked it up, allowing him to push one of the doors open. The firm grip of his fingers on your waist was all you could focus on as he urged you to enter inside the greenhouse. Carefully, he pushed the door back closed, dragging you with it as he pressed your back against the cold surface. His hands on both sides of your head as he rests his forehead against the door, just above your shoulder. You couldn’t see much of the view behind him because of the lack of light inside. But the moonlight seeping through the transparent roofing of the greenhouse was enough to give you the faintest possible light to make out the features of his frame.

“It was too quiet, isn’t it? I thought the queen and king were gone.”

“We were intruding them,” he simply replied.

“W-What?”

He shifted his head to the side and before you knew it, a pair of warm lips touched yours in fervor. Jungkook has never been this bold before to break your personal space nor touches without asking your permission.

Years without seeing him, you understand that he might have grown into a persona different from what you know of him. When you saw him that weary day after four years, you picked up a sense of strangeness in his aura. Perhaps, it is his confidence or the powerful aura he naturally emits that made you speechless.

Groaning as the feel of your mouth accelerated the temperature of his body, Jungkook deepens the kiss with his tongue pushing passed your parted lips.

The way he held you in place, with his hands on your face and his torso locking you firm against the door, you didn’t expect him to withdraw from the kiss so soon which resulted in a soft breathy whine to slip out of your throat.

“Perhaps that answered your question,” he says, picking up the teasing tone in his voice. Jungkook dipped his head lower, burying his head on the crook of your neck to press a warm, wet kiss on the same spot he bruised purple two nights ago.

grand royal dowager queen - spouse of a former king; presently the king’s grandmother Halma-mama - how the royal grandchildren address their grandmother gongju - title of a princess bubuin - title of princess consort (wife of a prince) gisaeng - female entertainer yangban - any nobleman holding a government position dogam - a committee/body authorized to organize a royal event jinchan - other term for royal banquet soban - other term for a traditional table used in joseon era hanji - other term for traditional korean paper Changdeok - East Palace Gyeongbok - Main Palace/main residence of the royal family

note: after posting 4 chapters of the series, im finally opening a tag list skskssksjsj hahaahaha if u lovelies want to be tagged in the future chapters, send me your url here.

mintseesaw © 2020

[renee-writer]

Unchangeable Chapter 32

Even as he drives out there, he is navigating in his head how to approach the situation. He couldn’t really tell them that their adoptive son’s birth mother’s boss had a psychic visit from their son. But, the thing is that Saul has seen him in trouble so the situation must be investigated.

He pulls up in front of the White’s huge house. With a exhalation, he exits his car and approaches. He rings the bell. George White himself answers.

“Hello, may I help you?”

“Hello, I am Sergeant Mike Franklin, from the police. We received a report that your son, Noah might need assistance.”

He frowns. “Please come in Sergeant Franklin. Noah is in the breakfast room with my wife, Serena. He is fine . Come and see for yourself.”

He follows him through the huge house, the entrance is as big as his own living room, through a door that leads to a room dedicated to breakfast. The room is bright and cheery, with windows that look out onto a flower garden. At the table sits Serena White and Noah. They both look up at their entrance.

“Serena, Noah, this is Sergeant Franklin. He visits to check on Noah.”

“Me? Why is he here for me?” The child looks to his dad in concern. Serena frowns at the stranger and then looks over at her husband.

“George, what is this about?”

“I an sorry to disturb your breakfast, ma’am. We received a report that made my visit necessary.”

“What in the world?”

“If I could just speak to Noah a moment, we can clear this up?”

“Come Serena. Let’s give them a moment.”

“But George, I don’t..”

“Come.” He takes her hand. When she is standing by his side, he turns to his son, “Noah, be polite. Recall who you are.” This last directive gets Mike’s attention. It could be an innocent reminder or a warning. Let’s see. He takes a seat beside the child after his parents leave.

“Hello Noah.”

“Hi.”

“My job is to keep people safe from bad people and to get the ad people when they do bad things.”

“I ain’t, haven’t done anything wrong.”

Mike smiles at him. “I am sure that is true. I am here to make sure no one is harming you.”

The little boy frowns. “Who would be hurting me?”

“Well, sometimes the kids at school can be mean.”

“No, I have school at home. Mom and dad want me to get properly educated.��

“I see, well sometimes it is coaches being a bit to rough.”

Again the little boy shakes his head. “I only play soccer and my dad is my coach.”

“Do you like soccer?”

He makes a face before it quickly sooths into a look of neutrality. Mike notes this. “It is a gentleman’s sport. Dad and mom are raising a gentleman.”

“You do have gentle manners.” He smiles, a real one the crinkles his eyes.

“Thank you sir.”

“I need to ask you is anyone, “ he carefully watches him, “anyone at all, hurting you, making you feel uncomfortable, causing a bad feeling in your tummy? A maid, gardener, nanny, mom or dad?”

He keep his calm expression until Mike got to his parents. The flash is fast, a frown, the quick dropping of his eyes, a flush over his tan skin. Ah. He answers as expected. “No, my parents and everyone are nice to me, good to me.”

“Noah, I am going to let you get back to breakfast. Here is my card. It has my numbers on it. If anyone starts to be a bother to you, you can call me and I will come. Okay?” He takes the card and looks at it before slipping it into his pocket.

“Thank you. Would you like breakfast?”

“No but thank you for your kind offer.” He stands and ruffles his soft curls. “Truly Noah, any time.” Noah nods understanding.

He walks towards the direction his parents went and finds them in a small, relatively, room, a study. “May I rejoin my son, Sergeant?”

“Yes ma’am.” She hurries that direction.

“I hope you are satisfied that he is alright.” He looks to George thinking, what are you and your wife doing to that sweet boy. He makes a decision.

“For now. Child Protection may follow up.”

“For what reason? Noah is very well seen to.” The man’s dark face flushes red.

“He doesn’t like soccer. I will see myself out.”

When he gets to his car, he lets out a breath. Something was rotten in the picture perfect house. He will find out what it is. This he vows.

[dossi-io]

An introduction to DeVita

Do you want to learn all about the AOMG artist DeVita? This article will cover everything you need to know about the third female member to join the labels roster.

The content of this article is also available in video format, embedded at the bottom of this article.

Prelude

In early April of 2020, the Korean hip-hop label AOMG ambiguously announced that a new artist was signing onto the label. This label was grounded by the Korean-American triple-threat; Jay Park, who’s also one of its executives. This is a label with a very organic feel and artist-oriented nature, which stands out compared to many other music labels.

On April 3rd, the label’s official Instagram account posted a video. It was titled, “Who’s The Next AOMG?” where fellow AOMG members talked about this upcoming recruit. They sprinkled small hints and details by sharing their thoughts on the artist without mentioning who.

Around the world, fans immediately began speculating on who this could be. The major consensus was that it had to be the solo artist Lee Hi, due to reporting like this: “AOMG responds ‘nothing is confirmed’ to reports of Lee Hi signing on with the label”

A few other names got thrown in fan speculations like Hanbin (B.I), previous member of IKON, Jvcki Wai, and MOON (문) aka Moon Sujin. This despite a few of these already being signed to other labels.

On April 6th, three days later, the account was updated with a part two. This time dropping more hints, which would exclude many names from fan speculations.

On the 7th of April, the label’s official Instagram account posted a short teaser. The video sported an 80’s retrofuturistic setting, with a woman turned from the camera, dressed in all black, rocking braids, and some glistening high-heels. As it seemed to be a female, some were now certain that it had to be Lee Hi. A small few actually guessed correctly that the one who would be joining AOMG would be Ms DeVita.

Finally on April 9th, it was official! She debuted with the music video, from which the teaser clips was taken from, EVITA!, which accompanied the release of her EP, CRÈME.

What does the name DeVita mean?

The name DeVita, draws inspiration and meaning from two things. Firstly, Eva Perón – also known as Evita – who was Argentina’s former First Lady. When Chloe was learning about Eva’s life, it inspired her to combine “Devil” and “Evita”, thus creating “DeVita”. The name signifies the duality of how both Eva Perón and DeVita could be perceived. Either being a devil, or an angel depending on the eye of the beholder. Secondly, Salvatore Di Vita, a character from Cinema Paradiso, was also a source of inspiration.

An introduction to DeVita

Chloe Cho – now known under the artist name DeVita – was born and raised in South Korea, until the age of eleven. In 2009, she moved to Chicago, where she would learn English.

In 2013, she went back to Korea and participated in the third season of the show; K-pop Star. A talent show, where the “big three” (the three largest music labels in Korea) hosts auditions to find the next big k-pop star. However she didn’t win, therefore neither got signed.

Later on, she returned to Chicago and graduated high school. After reflecting on what she wanted to do next, she decided to make music. In 2014, her pursuit to become an artist brought her to the talent show Kollaboration. On this show, she performed covers and actually ended up being a finalist. Despite her talents, she did not triumph as the winner of the show.

Not letting these losses stop her, she started releasing music on Soundcloud. The earliest release I could find, Halfway Love (Ruff), was from 2016. Her catalogue consisted of both covers and original music.

One day, Kirin, an artist and CEO of the music label 8balltown Records, was introduced to DeVita’s music. He liked what he heard and the two linked up. In May of 2018, WEKEYZ, one of 8balltown’s producer duos released a track titled Sugar. This track featured both DeVita, and the AOMG rapper Ugly Duck. This was the beginning of many collaborations to come.

On August 28th of 2018, just a few months later, AOMG released Sugar (Puff Daehee Mix).

This was a remix done by Puff Daehee, the alter ego of Kirin. Along with this track, it was accompanied by a music video starring Kirin, DeVita, and Ugly Duck. For most people, this was their first time seeing DeVita.

DeVita continued doing features on many songs by Korean artists while creating a little buzz for herself. There’s one notable feature, which could be seen as an important milestone in her career. That is her feature on the track Noise, from AOMG artist Woo Won Jae’s project, titled af.

In a tweet a few days after the release of CRÈME, she shared the significance of this moment.

“I was still making minimum wage working at a restaurant back when Noise dropped- I wrote my part during my shift on the back of this receipt paper. This was about a year and a half ago. A little bit after that I got a call from Pumpkin at 3am Chicago time. He said Jay wanted to meet in Philly in 4 hours. They put me on a plane and the rest is history.”

The phone call she mentioned in her tweet, about Jay wanting to meet, must have been made around September 2018. Jay was performing in Philadelphia at the time. The moment they met in Philadelphia was actually captured through a photo of the two. However, this picture ended up getting removed later on.

Fast forward a few months and Jay had just released his Ask About Me EP. The project focused on a western audience, so he went to the States on a promo run. During his visit, he also met up with DeVita once again, as can be seen here.

Finally, on April 9th, her being signed to AOMG was officially announced and she debuted with her EP titled CRÈME. Her joining AOMG, looked like something that happened pretty naturally. The vast majority of artists she had collaborated on tracks with happened to be AOMG members. Getting comfortable with the AOMG family, likely made the decision to join crystal clear.

Artistically

Just a quick look at her body of work thus far, a majority of it is in English. However, she has no issues singing in Korean, as proven by her feature on Code Kunst’s; Let u in. The tone in her voice has this sort of mixture of many singers, a melting pot of sorts. It reminds me of Audrey Nuna, SAAY, H.E.R, some vocal riffs from Dinah Jane, and at times, just a tiny bit of Ariana Grande.

As an artist, she’s still in the early stages of carving out her own unique sound and style. There’s incredible potential here, but her distinct identity is not completely there yet. I see before me a caterpillar that within a couple years, will transform into a butterfly, with its own identifiable pattern to spread its wings out on.

From what she’s shown so far, I would say she seems most comfortable doing R&B and soul music. However, beyond a quick description I prefer to refrain from categorizing her. Mostly because artists generally feel limited when categorized. More importantly, because we have no idea what she has in store for the future.

Debut EP: CRÈME

CRÈME is DeVita’s “crème de la crème”. She constantly modified the tracklist to present her debut project in a way that held her personal standard; essentially presenting us her best tracks. The result is CRÈME, which consists of five tracks, with a runtime of fourteen minutes altogether.

This EP showcases the fact that she is a competent songwriter, able to write some soulful, emotional ballads. It is completely in English and all the tracks are written by her, telling both life stories of her own and that of others. A majority of the production was handled by her “musical soulmate”; TE RIM, but other notable names, like Code Kunst show up as well.

Tracks:

Movies, introduces the project in a very gentle manner. In the track, DeVita paints a picture of a criminal couple, getting a rush, by committing crimes together. The lyrics feel inspired by movies like Bonnie and Clyde. My initial thoughts were that, for some ears, it could possibly be “too” calm as an opener. It doesn’t demand attention the way EVITA! does. Simply put, it’s not a bad track. I would just have put this track later on in the EP.

EVITA!, is something different compared to what I hear from others in the K-R&B lane. I love the 80’s aesthetic in both the track and music video. Sonically, the nostalgic saxophone riffs, warm lush synth pads, thumping bass line, results in a trip back to the 80s. With this recipe, topped with DeVita’s “current” contemporary soul and R&B voice makes for an interesting combination. The music video had that futuristic 80’s look with the neon colors, and I loved how the guns she played around with looked a lot like the “Needlers” from the Halo franchise.  The title is once again just like DeVita’s name, an ode to the controversial Eva Perón. The instrumental was originally used by TE RIM, the producer of the track in 2017. His version has the same title as DeVita’s version and I recommend giving that one a listen as well, as it has a different feel to it. This track was definitely one of the highlights of the EP.

All About You, is a simple yet beautiful piano love ballad. Originating from her own tales of love, her vocals effortlessly capture what she felt during these moments.

1974 Live, is yet another ballad, but this time, with a calm guitar backing, playing a poppier R&B chord progression. DeVita’s voice is given a lot of space to be in the center of the track. As soon as I heard this track I became curious. What was the significance of this year, which would have her title the track as such? My questions were left unanswered… until the EP had marinated a while, when she tweeted: “1974 Live is about Christine Chubbuck”. In case you’re unfamiliar, Christine Chubbuck was a television news reporter, who made history in 1974. She was the first person to commit suicide live on air. According to her mother Christine’s suicide would on paper be due to an unfullfilling personal life. All throughout her life, she had experienced unreciprocated love. With this information tying back to the track, it becomes a lot less ambiguous and reveals a more cohesive narrative.

Show Me, is the final track of the EP, featuring immaculate production from the talented CODE KUNST. The sound is very moody, which fits her voice like a glove. This is my favorite performance on the entire EP, both lyrically and vocally. The lyrics present someone who’s fed up dealing with men, who talk the talk but don’t walk the walk. Now she’s looking for love with someone who’s honest and “real”.

With the project being a year old now, it has already gotten her nominated for both Rookie of the Year along with EVITA being nominated for Best R&B & Soul Track in the 18th iteration of the Korean Music Awards.

A majority of listeners seemed to enjoy the project. Many seem to be in love with her voice judging by the endless amounts of praise she has received, often described as painfully addicting, soothing, smooth, and so on.

I also asked a friend who’s a huge fan of Korean music, especially the hiphop and r&b scene to share her thoughts on the project. Here’s what she said:

"This whole project is empowering, in particular the tracks Show Me and EVITA! DeVita being a new artist, managed to impress me and many more listeners through this EP. As mentioned earlier, empowering lyrics with unique melodies and beats. Especially with the track EVITA! The fact that 1974 Live and EVITA! was referring to, two historically important women, is something that I love. This is one of my favorite EP:s of 2020 and DeVita is now included in my list of favorite artists." @Haonsmom

From what I’ve seen, only a few have been vocal about not really being too fond of the project. Some were left a bit disappointed, as they were expecting more hip-hop and R&B from an AOMG artist. The lack of “danceable” tracks was also a concern to some. Despite these criticisms, one thing was always mentioned; the girl has a beautiful voice and is obviously talented.

After listening to this EP, I hear a lot of potential. Being an EP with just five tracks, it definitely avoids overstaying its welcome. It’s brief enough to allow a listen through the entire project, no matter what you’re doing. My favorite tracks would have to be Show Me and EVITA!, but I found the whole project to be enjoyable. This EP is sprinkled with lovely vocal performances and simple but captivating production. I do still stand by my opinion that Movies would have fit better later in the tracklist if you’re chasing that mainstream ear.

I think the way EVITA! kicks you in the face, demanding attention, would’ve been a better fit as the opening track. In contrast to the other tracks, the energy level is unique, making the placement feel odd as the rest of the tracks have a chill vibe. All in all, this project gave me a taste of the “crème” but left me with a curious yearning for what this chef will whip up for dessert.

Bright future ahead

The addition of more female artists to the AOMG roster was much needed. Hoody was the first and only female member for about four years. This was the case up until late 2019, where she was then joined by sogumm, who had just won AOMG’s audition program called SignHere. Now funnily enough after DeVita, Lee Hi actually did end up officially signing with AOMG on July 22, last year.

Based on what I’ve heard during Devita’s Kollaboration days, she has improved immensely. This topped with her leaving the impression of someone passionate about their craft, bodes well for what's to come. She seems to be someone who'll constantly evolve.

Following an artist, at the early stages of their career, is something that I always find exciting. With such a lovely debut, I cannot wait to see what the future has in store for DeVita.

To view the content of this article in video format simply play the video embedded below.

Thanks for reading, watching. If you enjoyed this content feel free to follow my socials to stay up to date on when new content is posted.

https://allmylinks.com/dossi-io

Credits:

The first image in article: Original photo, pre-edit from @jinveun

Gif from the Sugar Puff Daehee MV: @moxiepoints

[rudypankwow]

climb through my window (pt. 2) | jj maybank

not my gif! (i think it was posted by ssjiara)

warnings: s l o w b u r n, briefly talks about violence and abuse (bc it’s jj and his dad’s a meanie)

word count: 2.7k

masterlist, pt 1, pt 3

a/n: i know the beginning is also a little slow, but pls stick with me bc after this it’s gonna be so good! jj comes in at the end, and from this point on he’ll be the main focus of every part. but i had to set up the story :) also big thanks to kay bc i complained about this nonstop for the last few days sorry kay ly

Yelling was something you had become well acquainted with in the last year and a half. It was your sister’s fault. She didn’t stick to the plan.

“She was always supposed to go to Yale and she’s still going to Yale!” your mom shouted, her hands practically slamming on the table. “That was always the deal,” she continued, ignoring your sigh and tense jaw, “you got Meg  and I got (y/n).”

You had moved on from the, “Isn’t it my decision?” argument long ago, instead choosing silence as your parents battled it out. When your sister, Meg, had decided to forgo college and instead spend some time traveling (she had secretly saved every penny she received from presents, allowances, paychecks, etc), your parents had moved on to you. Your mother had attended Yale and your dad Dartmouth, and the plan was always that Meg would go to Dartmouth and you’d go to Yale. It was a whole legacy student ordeal. It didn’t matter anyway, because your sister had ruined it. You were only a junior, and the school year was still a week away from starting, this was your reality for the time being.

“Well I think she’d like Dartmouth more, anyway,” your dad said. He didn’t even look up from his plate. “New Hampshire has way more to offer than Connecticut.”

Your mom on the other hand, was red in the face. Her arms were flailing, pointing her fork at you and your dad. “You’ve hardly even been to Connecticut, how in the hell would you know?”

“I just know it is, who goes to Connecticut for fun?” your dad continued. “New Hampshire has way more to-”

“You know what?” you cut them off. They both turn to look at you. Every time they get into these arguments, they wait for your input, for a final “I’m going here,” but it’s not coming today. Instead, you say, “I’m leaving.” You stand up from the table, pushing in your chair, making sure it angrily scrapes against the floor. “Feel free to keep arguing on my behalf, though.”

Your favorite spot in town was a 20 minute bike ride from your house. There was a little hill you could climb up, and when you reached the top it was a beautiful view of the ocean. You sometimes brought a book and read, and other times you just laid down and enjoyed the sun. Either way, that’s where you were going.

You decided to take a different way there this time, it was a little longer but it was so nice out you didn’t mind. As you turned the corner to ride past the police station, you saw the back of a blonde head that looked a lot like JJ walking out with another man. Your heart immediately dropped, too worried about why he was walking out of the police station to be disappointed in yourself for knowing him by the back of his head.

You were still some distance away when they got into the car. Despite no longer being able to see JJ, you kept your eyes on the movement in the car. As you started to get closer, you noticed the movement you could see get more violent, causing the car to shake. You finally become parallel with the car, staying on the opposite side of the road. You were nervous to stop, scared of what you might see, but you knew you had to.

JJ was pressed against the passenger door, his hands covering his face. The man in the car, which you could only assume was his dad, was hovering over him. You could probably hear his yelling if your ears weren’t ringing. You knew what was coming next, and you tried to will it not to happen, tried to focus all the energy into the universe to make what was going to happen not happen.

His hand collided with JJ’s face anyway. Over and over again. And you couldn't look away, couldn’t stop the tears that started to form, couldn’t believe the universe for being so unfair. The police station was right there, it would be so easy to run in and get help, but you were completely frozen in your spot. 

His dad settled back into his seat and you saw JJ touch his face, attempting to clean the cuts but only producing bloody hands. The car engine started, and quickly peeled away, leaving you stuck to the pavement. You stared as they turned at the end of the road and reached up to wipe the few tears that you didn’t realize had fallen.

Once your breathing finally evened out and your heart stopped pounding out of your chest, you pushed your feet off the ground and started pedaling your bike. You had forgotten where you were supposed to be going, instead just seeing where your feet took you.

You hadn’t planned on making your way to the Wreck, but before you knew it that’s what happened. You debated going in for a few minutes. You weren’t sure you wanted to explain what you just saw to Kie, though you were sure she knew. You could just not tell her, but your anxiety was without a doubt written on your face. You probably should tell her, or anyone for that matter. But on the other, was it yours to tell? 

You were still standing over your bike outside the restaurant when the front door opened. “(y/n)?” Kie’s dad called, garbage bag in hand. “Are you okay?” he asks. “Why are you just standing there? Come in!”

It snapped you out of your trance, and you nodded, stepping off the bike and walking it over to the rack. It was way less crowded than the last time you were there, especially for a Saturday. “Oh, hey, (y/n),” Kie says.

“Hey, Kie,” you said. You smile, trying to put on happy face for your friend.

“Are you hungry?” she asks. “I can make you something if you want.”

“No,” you say. You’re pretty sure any food you tried to eat right now would just come straight back up. “I was just passing by,” you continue. “Your dad invited me in and I didn’t want to upset him.”

“Oh,” she says. She stares at you for a second. “Are you okay?” You look down at the counter. “You look like you don’t feel well.”

“Yeah, I just uh-” you try to fake a laugh, “I just have a headache.”

She seems to buy it. “Well let me grab you some water and then you should head home and get some rest,” she says, raising her eyebrows at you. You give her a nod and she takes a few steps behind the counter. She hands you the bottle and takes a sip.

Before your common sense can stop you, you say, “Hey, I saw JJ mowing the Copelands’ lawn the other day and noticed he had some bruises. I don’t know if there’s any reason to worry but,” you pause, unsure of how to finish, “uh, I don’t know. I guess I just wanted to make sure he was okay?” You immediately wish you could suck the words back out of the air and take them back.

But Kie just shrugs, giving a little chuckle. “Honestly, (y/n), who knows? It’s JJ.” You smile and nod, looking back down at the counter. “Look,” she continues, “if it ever seems like he’s in trouble just let me know. But he’s usually got it figured it out.”

“Yeah,” you say quickly. “I’m honestly not even sure why I asked. Something about it just made me nervous, I guess.”

She smiles. “That’s sweet of you, really,” she pats your shoulder. “But I wouldn’t let it worry you too much, okay?”

You nod, suddenly desperate to get out of there. “I’m gonna go,” you say. “Thanks for the water.” It seems awkward, but you’re not sure what else to say.

“Let me know when you’re feeling better,” she calls as the door shuts behind you.

You lean against the side of the building once out of sight, once again trying to calm yourself down. You take a sip of the water and click on your phone to check the time. It had only been an hour since you left home, but it felt like it had been at least five. 

Unsure of what else to do, you get on your bike and start back home, stopping at the library on the way to pick up a book. Halfway through your ride, the sky seemed to open up, big drops of rain soaking you through to the bone.

When you were little, your mom used to say that it only rained when people wanted things to be washed away.

It only seemed fitting.

-------

JJ hadn’t come by to mow that Friday. It was Sunday now, and all you’d done was think about him and what you saw the day before.

School was starting in a week, and despite the fact that you almost liked school, the thought of being forced to see all the other kooks every day was enough to ruin the idea. And since junior year meant college planning, you knew tensions would be high.

Needless to say, you were dreading it.

But today, it was gorgeous outside. So, before your parents could even try to bother you, and before you spent another minute staring at the ceiling in your bedroom, you grabbed your headphones and your book and headed out to your back deck. You had made a deal with your parents long ago that any arguing had to stay in the house, so you knew you were safe outside.

No matter how hard you tried to focus on your book, your mind couldn’t stop wandering. After twenty minutes, you basically give up, dropping your book in your lap with a huff. You close your eyes and lean your head back against your chair, sighing. The sun is as burning you skin, but it’s lnice to feel something other than anxious.

Your heart just about skips a beat when you hear a lawn mower start. Your eyes open immediately and you swallow hard. Sitting up slightly, you turn your head to look at the house next door.

And, of course, there he is, two days late, mowing the lawn. Part of you hoped that you’d be able to avoid seeing him for the rest of the week after what you saw yesterday.

You’re trying your hardest to not stare, you don’t want him to catch you again, but you need to see his face. He’s actually wearing a shirt this time, which is a bad sign. You can’t remember the last time he wore a shirt while mowing in the summertime. You can’t quite see his face yet, so you turn around and pretend to read your book, waiting for the sound of the mower to get closer. When it does, you try to peek over. He’s still a bit too far away, but you think you can see a dark spot on the side of his temple. It makes your stomach turn.

You did have one thought in the back of your mind, but it was borderline crazy, nevermind how it would make you look. You had been mulling it over for the past few days, but always dismissed it immediately. Seeing him here, however, a dark bruise on his face and likely countless others across his chest, made that horrible idea seem not so horrible.

Your feet were moving before you knew it, before you could stop them.. You always felt like there was a magnet drawing you into him, but up until now you’d tried your hardest to act against it. 

“JJ!” you called. Your palms were starting to sweat. In all honesty, you had no idea what you were doing, but for some reason you were still doing it.

He turns around, shutting off the lawn mower when he sees you standing there. “Oh, hi,” he says, thinking for a minute. “(y/n), right? You’re friends with Kie?” You nod. He thinks for another minute and smiles. “You’re that girl I always catch staring at me?” The smirk on his face tells you everything you needed to know. You knew he had noticed a few times, but had no clue he’d picked up on a pattern.

Your eyes go wide and you shake your head. “Uh, no,” you try to be casual, “I don’t think I know what you’re talking about.” He could probably hear your pulse from where he was standing.

“No,” he continues, nodding, “you almost crashed your car into your garage the other day because you were staring at me.” His hands are crossed against his chest and he’s smiling wildly.

“No,” you say say again. “No, I was just,” you can’t come up with anything good, “looking at the Copeland’s dog. It had gotten out,” you finish, knowing the Copeland’s have never had a dog, not for as long as you’d lived next to them.

He clearly knew this too, because he answers, “The Copeland’s doing have a dog, (y/n).”

“Okay, well, that’s beside the point,” you say, shaking your head again and waving your hands. His eyes are wide when you look back up at him, and you sigh, seriously regretting whatever it was you were doing. “Look,” you continue, “I came over here because I wanted to tell you,” you pause, your hands are shaking. You take a deep breath. “I saw you. The other day. Outside the police station. With your dad.” You can’t say the whole thing at once, cause you think the weight of the words might poison all the air around you. “At least I thought it was your dad, anyway,” you say, looking down at your feet.

“Look,” he says, taking a step forward, “please don’t-”

“Wait,” you interrupt, because you think if you don’t finish you might never get out the words, “just let me finish, please?” You look at him and he nods. You exhale, still not believing the words you were about to say. “If you ever need somewhere to crash, for whatever reason, my window is the last one to the left on the back side of the house. It’s easy to climb in. I’ve done it a few times before.” He looks completely thrown off. “I just know how Kie’s dad is, and I know how Mr. Heyward can sometimes be a pain, and after what happened to John B-” you falter. “I just figured you might need somewhere to stay from time to time,” you explain. “I have a couch in my room and I promise not to ask questions.”

There’s a pause. He finally says, “Okay,” and when you look up at him he’s got that same smirk he did before.

“Don’t give me that look,” you say, pointing a finger at him. “You will be sleeping on the couch, believe that.”

His smirk doesn’t dissipate as he nods. “Sure,” he says.

You roll your eyes. “Oh, my god, I’m leaving now.” You turn and start walking away, resting your hand on your chest, trying to calm your heart rate.

“Hey, (y/n)?” he calls after you. Reluctantly, you turn back. He’s got a different look now, less cocky. “You were close with Sarah, right?” He rubs his hand on the back of his neck.

“Yeah,” you say, “we used to be best friends when we were little.” You hadn’t been that close with her in a long time, but you don’t tell him that.

“Do you think they’re,” he drops his hands by his side, sighing, “you know-”

“Dead?” you ask.

He rolls his eyes. “Well, yeah, but I was trying not to say the word.”

You smile a little, brushing some hair out of your face. “No, I don’t,” you say simply.

He nods, looking down at the ground, and gives you a smile. “Last window to the left, right?” he asks. “On the back side of the house?”

You try to stop the smile that’s threatening to engulf your face. “Yeah.”

You turn around, walking back to your deck. You hear the lawn mower start. Your feet feel like they’re no longer touching the ground. You have no idea if he’ll come, and you wouldn’t blame him if he didn’t, but you feel better knowing you’ve offered, that he has the option.

And the thought of getting to see his face more sure doesn’t hurt.

taglist!! please inbox me to be on the tag list!!!! if it’s not an inbox it won’t go on the list!

@o-b-x​ @dolanfivsosxox​ @casualcolorstarfish​ @timotaychalabae​ @sarahsmaybank​