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#you have NO idea how autistic i can be about this
de-sterren-nacht · 1 year
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when fgo na gets to them im gonna be posting so aggressively about constantine xi and pope johanna
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TD World Tour Alenoah AU... Where Noah is immune to Alejandro's fake charm... Instead, Noah gets charmed by the true Alejandro's quirks and dorky interests like dinosaurs and puppets... How would Alejandro feel about Noah only liking Alejandro, when Alejandro is being himself?... Especially since Alejandro's family shuns him for being himself? 🦕🦖🦕
Now you're speaking my language.
One of the most common running themes in all/near enough all Alenoah central AUs is having Noah be the first person to see past Alejandro's persona and actually appreciate the person he is, or at the very least prefer the real Alejandro to his mask of perfection. It's one of the draws of the ship itself; the idea that Noah, being the blunt person that he is, can and will wage a war of attrition against the walls Alejandro has built up around himself- not just to keep others out, but also to repress the more authentic aspects of himself to himself- in order to reveal the person beneath.
I touched on this a little bit in a previous post concerning this AU, but Alejandro and Noah both see glimpses of the other that they try so valiantly to hide- in Noah's case, Alejandro sees hints of the scheming mindset he's pretty much supressed under layers of apathy and sloth (as Noah's laziness is one of his biggest character foils, alongside his snarky attitude), and in Alejandro's case he reveals tid bits of information about the Real Alejandro, not the persona he's usually portraying himself as, which is enough to humanise him in Noah's eyes.
They both become People Of Interest in each other's eyes, because they're both puzzles to be solved. Alejandro's curious and competitive to a fault so he'd dedicate himself to unravelling the layers behind Noah's stony exterior, as he'd see Noah's continued distance as a challenge. That's a given. But the topic at hand here is Noah's interest in Alejandro.
Because Noah's not exactly competitive, so why would he be so interested in unveiling the real Alejandro? That's simple; Noah values authenticity. Look at his friendship group, it consists of people who are unapologetically themselves. Noah is also unapologetically himself, in all of his sarcastic glory. So of course he's see flickers of the real, authentic Alejandro and his natural inquisitiveness would be piqued- a novelty for him, as Noah's staunch apathy generally tends to override any semblance of curiosity.
So Noah goes out of his way to make notes of the small interests Alejandro offhandedly mentions at one point or another, like palaeontology or puppetry or even his fifteen-step skincare routine- things that Alejandro shows genuine excitement or passion over that shines through the cracks of his perfect persona. He sees the dorky giddiness Alejandro experiences when Noah lets him ramble on about how Jurassic Park was incredibly inaccurate from a scientific standpoint but monumental for people's interest in palaeontology (or something along those lines, I don't know I'm not a dinosaur nerd) and suddenly the annoyingly flirtatious faker he's spent the better half of his time on the jet is A Whole Ass Person with interests and passions and a sense of depth he's been so bereft of until now. Suddenly Alejandro's more than just the antagonist of the show Noah's working on, he's an interesting person that the bookworm finds himself wanting to know more about. And, perhaps, he finds himself growing genuinely fond of the person behind the mask.
And he uses those notes to prompt Alejandro into sharing more of himself, the real authentic Alejandro, in the privacy of their interactions.
At first, Alejandro's fairly oblivious to what Noah's doing, since he's so caught up in his own enjoyment of Noah's company plans to essentially do the same to Noah that he barely notices his own tricks being used against him.
Of course, he's also just elated at being able to infodump to someone who isn't outright penalising him for doing so; not that I think Alejandro is even aware that what he's doing is infodumping, nor the fact that he's so obviously autistic, because his family is a particular brand of awful that would never let him get a proper diagnoses and in all likelihood forced him to mask/supress his symptoms.
It isn't until Alejandro realises that he's shared a lot of information about himself that he (as a Burromuerto) is expected to keep close to his chest, and he sees the glimmers of satisfaction in Noah's intelligent eyes, that the archvillain catches on to the fact that he's been played. But the thing that really catches him off-guard isn't the trickery, it's the fact that Noah's done nothing with the uncharacteristic displays of vulnerability.
Alejandro can't understand why Noah hasn't taken advantage of his "weakness" yet. Inevitably leading to him confronting the assistant, as Alejandro isn't the type to "let sleeping dogs lie" so to speak, and he's still very much so in the one-track mindset of winning the competition- thus he assumes that any show of vulnerability can and will lead to his untimely elimination. But when he practically demands that Noah reveal what he's been planning, why he's been sneakily collecting information on him, all Noah can do is shrug his shoulders and say;
"I guess I just like seeing the real you. That's all."
And Alejandro doesn't know how to respond to that. No one's ever wanted the real him, he's always had to play the role of the perfect son, the perfect brother. He doesn't understand.
And like most people when they're faced with a foreign concept they have no basis of behaviour for, he lashes out.
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science-lings · 10 days
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uncanny-tranny · 4 months
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I love giving advice, apparently, so if you are a newly pierced person or are planning on being pierced, here are some of the things I found helpful, as somebody who isn't a professional piercer but has had six plus piercings on my face and body, and multiple ear piercings (which I don't count, since I DIY'd them):
Normal bath towels are your enemy, proceed with caution after bathing. NEVER wipe moisture away from a fresh piercing, always pat it dry
You will hit a new piercing and it will hurt. This is inevitable, just know that you likely haven't destroyed it. Feel free to cry, though, it hurts like hell.
If your piercer gives you instructions, heed them. If you're on restrictions, please take it as seriously as possible
When you're going in for a piercing, please eat or drink something - at least what constitutes as a snack for your body. It really helps
If you're getting an oral piercing, make sure you size down after the healing period - I hadn't sized down for my last oral piercing when I first had the chance, and it was... so annoying to have too-large of jewelry
Not all jewelry is made equally. Do your research on materials, threading, and sizing. I've found that titanium jewelry is really nice for me, and I like it, but that isn't the only option. Make sure you think about your body and its needs and preferences
Close your eyes while being pierced (I found this really helps me)
Don't over-clean a new piercing, twice per day is usually a good place to start
The completed healing period is a very average suggestion - you may heal slower or faster. Try to adhere to that suggestion, though, especially if you do not feel you're healed enough
Personally, I have found that I am completely healed when my piercing feels like just another part of my body, even when it is touched. When my piercings start to feel as though they are foreign when they never do before, I know I likely need to clean them
While I have DIY'd piercings, I personally do not recommend it, especially if you are either not using sterilized equipment, or are piercing a very dangerous place (like the tongue). If you are absolutely positive about committing to the DIY mindset, please try to do due diligence in research at least
Tip your piercer. Body mods are a luxury service, and it takes years to even become a piercer, much less to be proficient at it. Tip your piercer, ESPECIALLY if their prices feel too good to be true - they likely are. Unless you are directed otherwise by your piercer, just assume that you will be tipping them for their services and budget accordingly
Make sure you understand how your piercer wants you to take care of your piercing, and ask questions. There is no question too "dumb"
If you are getting a body part pierced you are insecure about, realize your piercer has most likely seen HUNDREDS of different body parts of various sizes, shapes, and oddities. Your body is not uniquely bad, nor would a good piercer make you feel unwelcome or uncomfortable with your body. If they do, however, DO NOT go through with the piercing. You should feel safe being pierced by somebody, and, indeed, that is the bare minimum.
If you use saline wash to clean piercings, you can DIY it. You will go through NeilMed like no other, and with it being $5USD a bottle, that price can rack up quickly. Make sure you use distilled water and non-iodized salt, though
If your piercing is infected, please don't be too ashamed to seek help. It's in your best interest to make sure you don't get ill or your site gets nasty ("nasty" as in painful)
These are just some of the things I've learned being a pierced person! My piercings are something I absolutely needed, and I do not for a minute regret having them. I want that same happiness to befall you, and that happens when you are able to understand a bit more what goes into piercings. You are, essentially, getting a new body part installed by a pro, and so I don't want you to not be ready for that.
Again, I am not a professional piercer, but am rather a body piercing enthusiast with many different types of piercings. I don't have every piercing, though, so please look at this critically for the piercing(s) that you want or have. At least, treat this like a soft suggestion or ways to help you brainstorm what you will find helpful.
More tips are obviously welcomed, especially if you yourself have more insight or expertise. Good luck to every pierced person or future pierced person reading this💛
#body modification#body mods#piercings#body piercing#long post#honestly i love having a professional relationship with my piercer and i feel so happy to be pierced by her#i think the client and piercer relationship is a very important aspect of getting a piercing#and i don't think people talk about that part much. you should feel SAFE being around your piercer#they are literally creating a new hole in your body with a needle. that is a very vulnerable position to be in#but i'm honestly shocked at how cheap my piercer is...#...so my last piercing was only $50USD and that included the (nice) jewelry. i feel that in that cast tipping 60% was worth it...#...i know that can rack up the cost of the piercing but especially if you LIKE your piercer (like i do) - try being as generous as possible#i personally LOVE tipping my piercer and it's the best way i can show her that i LOVE her work even when i tell her#love having a personal blog that i can be autistic about piercings!!!!! I LOVE THIS ANCIENT TRADITIONNNN#one of my profs let us write about anything as long as it was an essay and i went Insane writing about historical piercing practices#LOVE ALL TYPES OF PIERCINGS especially ones that are used to 'scare' outsiders <3#when i was a kid they used to tell us about the Mystical African Tribes that STRETCHED THEIR LIPS (scary!!!!)...#...if it isn't obvious i hate that the lip plate especially practiced by the Mursi and many others have been used for frankly rascist ideas#i brought up the lip thing because i learned a lot about iirc the Mursi practice of lip plating and it's given me more appreciation for it!!#it's ENDLESSLY fascinating and i wish i hadn't been shown the negative bias against them first
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tatsumi-rin · 2 months
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Moral Orel doesn't seem 100% like a show I'd feel seen in if you don't know me but then I remember the episode with the special ed kids and underneath the usual satire on extremist bible belt religion it reminds me WAY too much of how actual special ed departments treated me and other kids growing up.
Like the writers must HAVE BEEN THERE IN LIFE, man. I'd kill to sit down with Dino Stamatopoulos and find out what the fuck inspired him and the other writing staff that day.
#husbandothings#moral orel#bonus fun tag rant? bonus fun tag rant...apparently#in those departments you are immediately written off as a tragic forever toddler by at least 50% of the staff regardless of your disability#there's good ones but the bad ones bring the fun spicy trauma#it doesn't matter how smart you actually are you gotta draw the sad face on that boy on the comic sans worksheet at the age of 15#in your free lesson spaces that you got because of reasons#if someone tells me they're a teaching assistant or have “qualifications” in autism and special needs development i immediately distrust#because I have never met a neurotypical person with those qualifications who knows how to treat kids like humans especially autistic kids#funniest part? I was mostly in the special ed department because of my hearing and not totally my undiagnosed autism#and a little because of wonky emotional development from get this...a freaking religious school#like i see adults in the show and i see the headteacher who tried to tell my parents i should forgive the bullies because jesus would#even though the truth is way more nuanced but he just wanted to wash his hands of it#it's funnier than it should be because that teacher would fit right in to this show for that and additional reasons I won't state here#my family were atheists but thought the school would be good#the weird thing is at that time as a little kid I liked the idea of believing in god but nothing that happened proved Him to me#and moral orel hits because it resonates with the fact i genuinely believe religion can do good and it's all about the people#the ones who want to use that faith for good in the world and surviving rough crap and not to do things that would make jesus flip tables#that has stuck with me for over a decade as has the people who felt the show reinforced their christianity#but anyway
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samyelbanette · 10 days
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I hate the proliferation of Discord in modern fandom. The idea that people are having all these fun conversations without me is so isolating.
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soullessjack · 8 months
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something something babyjack something something infantilization that people are strangely okay with whatever my head hurts
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leieryx · 1 month
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Im never gonna be normal about this i fucking knew it
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andthebeanstalk · 1 year
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Yo I don't know if anyone else is seriously bothered by this but those "good luck" posts where everyone goes wow this post really works you HAVE to reblog it or else you won't get the good thing that happens when you reblog it and therefore it's your fault if the good thing doesn't happen because you didn't reblog the post,
Yeah, those posts. They don't ummmmmmmmm
They don't work.
Like, listen, a little prayer of good luck to give yourself hope is one thing, but every single one of these posts has a comment that is like "this is literally magic I received life-altering amounts of money because of this post REBLOG THIS NOW." And assuming these accounts aren't just also the original poster emotionally manipulating people - And brushing over how foolish/cruel it feels to give false hope and additional tasks to those in poverty AND moving on from how absolutely shitty these posts are for people with compulsion-related disorders or difficulty discerning reality--
it feels to me that the more we make up magic that doesn't exist in this world, the harder it is to see how things really are, and the more it obscures from us the magic that actually does exist. Things like magnetism, electricity, human thought and connection, emotion, storytelling, machinery, fire. That's the sort of magic we have in this world. These magics are real and they can be manipulated in miraculous and terrible ways.
And maybe it's just the way my mind works, but if I am able to convince myself that a photo of a four-leaf clover has any amount of cosmic power over my life, then I am no longer looking clearly at my situation and what I need to do to change it. I am no longer able to truly see the magic that IS there.
I feel the same way about astrology honestly. I don't think it's bad to believe in as long as you're not ascribing it to unwilling people, but I personally do feel like if I believed the shapes the Romans saw in the stars made me who I am, then not only would I deny myself autonomy, but also I would miss out on the magic of the stars as huge lonely nuclear light giants indifferent to and ignorant of the lives of humans in terrifying and beautiful ways. I might even dismiss scientific discoveries that didn't fit my view. And I think I've seen enough of the damage that can do for one lifetime. (I am aware that I probably wouldn't have so many problems with astrology if I wasn't a furious ex-Catholic. But again, there's nothing wrong with faith as long as you're not slapping it onto other people.)
But, gods, I hate these fucking good luck posts.
I am not poor due to the stars or the lack of luck-money posts on my dashboard. I am poor because I live in oppressive power structures that I hope to see burn in my lifetime. I need as clear a view of this reality as possible.
If you want to spread positive magic, you have to spread love and information and images/stories of a beautiful shared future that other people are invited to be a part of.
I'm a big believer in Hope. I believe hope is a sacred thing. But I'm not a big fan of false hope.
So in conclusion, if you reblog this post and then tomorrow something very lucky and seemingly unrelated happens, it had nothing to do with this post.
The only Magic will be the magic of unfathomably huge amounts of data transferring all across the world instantaneously to reach you and show you words that came from someone else's heart and mind.
The only Magic will be however it makes you feel to know that if you need luck, at least one other person in this world wants good things to happen to you: I care that you are found. I care that you are loved. I care that you are safe. I care that you live long enough to find or be found by happiness and that you then live for a very long time after that. And I don't need to meet you to know that I'm right.
Know that I will spend the rest of my life working to build spaces where you would be welcome. And maybe you and I will never meet, but I happen to know there's a whole lot of people like me in this world. And I happen to know that as long as you are alive, there is a chance you will grow old in warmth and comfort, surrounded by friends. There is a chance that your old eyes will be crinkled at the sides with laugh lines. And that's magic. That's real magic.
#original#if I'm honest I think I made some of these points better in the tags of that one post I have about the cake#but clearly I'm processing something so#hopepunk#cripple punk#cripplepunk#good luck#magic#you have no idea how much I wish other types of magic existed cuz I really want to be a wizard but that doesn't mean there's no magic#i want Magic Missile but all I have is an autistic drive to see things without ambiguity. XD#too much false hope can kill a person. it's so irresponsible to spread false hope. spread real hope. tell the fucking truth.#there are things in this world worth hoping for. real things. tell someone they are worthy of good things. that's hope. that's good luck.#it's actually quite lucky to be unexpectedly told kind and true things. like finding $20. except my poor ass can actually provide it#not tagging this with astrology so people are less likely to yell at me lol#there's probably a better version of this post in which I cut a lot of the bitching at the start but hey I needed to bitch#it's my right as a hot bitch.#edit: ALSO another thing this reminds me of is how a lot of white women who practice witchcraft really want to believe that they#at some point in history were a persecuted minority. 'we are the great-great-granddaughters of the witches you didn't burn!'#like sorry no there have been no witches burned and no witches hung the horror of it all is that they were just normal women#white people are not the great great granddaughters of witches. we are the great great grandchildren of slave owners.#any narrative that leads us to forget that is extremely suspect.
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n7punk · 8 months
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the tension between me and my nemesis (the reseller marking up she-ra merch and trying to make it seem rarer by claiming it's con exclusive when it's for sale brand new right now) who i am only just barely holding myself back from sending a very passive-aggressive message
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Hey people of tumblr I have an idea of a way to help support Gaza. This one's especially for people living in Christian areas with a lot of mainstream acceptance of israel. It's only a few days until Christmas and as for all Gazans, things are incredibly desperate for the small population of Christian Gazans. In particular here are some articles talking about fears all Christians in Gaza will be dead soon.
So how about we call up our local churches and ask what they're doing to help the people of Palestine?
The articles I've linked come from a variety of backgrounds. Some predate oct 7th. All focus on the plight of Christians in Palestine. Take your pick for what source you think will speak to your audience.
I want you to find a church that is ignoring the genocide or even praying for israel and then point out it's not just people being murdered. It's their people being murdered. Contact your local church like "Hey I'm Name, I'm not really a member of any church these days but it's Christmas and I really want to do something to help people in Palestine. I was wondering if you have something planned over Christmas? Maybe a prayer meeting or a protest or something idk 🥺" Then if you recieve any pushback switch to "oh but I'm just sooooo worried about our fellow Christians unable to celebrate Christmas".
It's a great place to ease people into caring about genocide who normally wouldn't. And if you convince a priest they might tell their whole congregation about how this christmas they have to show up for persecuted christians in jesus' birthplace. Worth a try?
#free palestine#free gaza#christmas#christians in gaza#i did not fact check the articles i linked i wanna be upfront about that#this is from a place of emotive headlines i assume ppl will barely skim bcus thats how ppl engage with me when i link them things#i skimmed the articles and i straight up dislike some of them!#some of them are from right wing backgrounds so ugh#some make such a point of bashing hamas and its like sure yes hamas have done some bad things too does this really need such focus rn#but i reckon some ppl will have a way easier time with their cognitive dissonance if you gave them that article rather than a more focused#also and this is obvious i am not an expert maybe my idea isnt that good pls school me if im an idiot#im not palestinian#im white and was raised christian and like i read the part where they said being mean was a sin and was like okay why are yall ignoring????#so basically this is coming from my background with christian cognitive dissonance and how what they say and what they do are very at odds#but if you learn to point that out using juuuuuuust the right lingo you can make them do better#they generally genuinely do want to be good they just Do Not See the same things i do#and like my autistic ass cant see what all the other kids at church saw so diversity ig#also heads up if you do this you have to be down to pray like a bunch with nice people on the phone or whatevs#the churches i rang arent having separate prayer meetings but did pray with me on the phone and like my relationship with religion is weird#but it was ~emotional~#anyway they are all already praying for palestine near me so thats something ig#i checked in on a church that kinda scared me out of the faith by being homophobic years ago and theyre already prayin#so like idk everyone in the world really is praying for gaza
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lionblaze03-2 · 26 days
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Hate that I can prettymuch never move to any better country than America (Canada, Australia, New Zealand, etc) because they all hate people with autism and if you even have it they don’t let you in. Because they need all the disabled slots for the people born there, why would they take EXTRA ‘useless’ people, duhhh LIKE IM NOT USELESS I’m really good at organizing I’m not a massive burden to take on just because I cry sometimes my benefits and burdens kind of even out PLEASE guys. I don’t want to be stuck here during project 2025 onward
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gumheel · 7 months
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well my fears have come to fruition. my therapist has told me to get assessed for autism
#on one hand. oh my gd thank you for recognizing i am struggling#for reasons toher than like. sucking#to talk frankly about being autistic is so great#however. ermmmmmm#i am not super hyped about like... making that an official process attached to my medical records#especially because like#admittedly i think i am like. low functioning to borrow terminology i wouldn't otherwise use#<- saying this for clarity's sake and because j don't know how else go talk about it#but with time i have realized i am kind of not capable of living or functioning alone#and that's something that's kind of come up in these sessions#and he can't diagnose that hence why he's having me talk to my psych about it#but the idea of explaining this in an assessmenr#i just worry about being opened up to like. psychiatric abuse#and if's sort of fucking heinous that i should have to worry at the same time as being like...#i don't want to have to juggle relief at the isea of accommodations and frustration at a loss of agency#but it feels inevitable#idk#ultimatey i guess for me i am so fucking burnt out and have so much trouble with wmotional regulation & basic cognition that like..#i don't think i can like. continue and do something i want if it's still Like This#but the way like... people in positions of authority particularly in terms of health begin to trwat you#so deeply infantilizing#i don't know.#also ugh do you know how stupid it is to be like this.#<- OBLIGATORY INTERNALIZED ABLEISM/WHINING ABOUT MY EXPERIENCES DISCLAIMER BEING AUTISTIC IS AWESOME AND MAKES YOU COOL AND FUNNY AND HOT#🥲#call me!
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callingcxrd · 2 months
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Ohhh I must find someone who Makes Outfits. If I want Earl's entire outfit I need someone who can actually make that. and I need someone in mind so I remember to save my money for it. Does anyone know anybody who Makes Outfits
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Hey, anyone more familiar with season 2 beats of Ted Lasso want to chat to help me with another fic idea?
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moe-broey · 1 year
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What did she mean by this. Btw.
LIKE. It is SUCH an interesting observation coming from Veronica SPECIFICALLY, someone who has been notoriously out of touch with emotions -- her own emotions, and also struggles significantly with processing other people's emotions and understanding their intent.
And like thinking about this like. Alfonse has a tendency to be sincere even when he doesn't want to be. He can't help it. No matter how guarded he is, that sincerity always shines through.
But when I think about Sharena, like. I never think of her as Insincere. I never think of her as Fake-Nice, like the way I view Henriette at times. Where it feels like there's something more unsettlingly detached underneath her warm smile and overly affectionate demeanor. Which isn't to say I believe Henriette is secretly evil or something, I just think she has Something going on that makes it so I have never completely trusted her as a character and would Not be surprised if she was hiding something.
When I think about Sharena, I think maybe she's like. Try-Hard Nice. It's very hard to explain what I mean. But I don't believe she's insincere. I don't believe she's hiding something like Henriette could be. I think she's desperate? And takes a methodical approach to relationships, where she's set out on A Goal, which is to make a friend. If I say the right thing and act the right way I will succeed in being the perfect friend. She's incredibly open, but is she really? Does she know how to be truly open? Has she ever just let herself, be?
ALSO incredibly fascinating the implications of this for Veronica, having noticed this and saying it so confidently. I haven't delved super deep into Veronica's character, but... I just think it's interesting, that she struggles so much to process these things, and yet seems to be able to detect when something is off and untrustworthy to her. Even MORE interesting is how all this plays out with Letizia, where she trusted her completely. Ofc, in that case, you have to consider the entire context of their relationship -- Veronica never having had a reason to distrust her. Unfortunately I don't have a lot I can say on that though (<- emotionally cannot finish Book 6)
Idk I just. Sometimes I'll be reminded of a dialogue and it'll infect me with brain worms LMFAO
#feh#idk i think veronica has autistic swag. actually.#and honestly i sometimes play w the idea of alfonse autism but. it just doesn't fit. to me.#but sharena. also idk if it fits. but when i think about her tendencies.#it is SO reminiscent of masking and mirroring behaviors actually. way more focused on having a Correct interaction#than like. just letting it be.#not to mention just how detached masking/mirroring can make you esp if you've done it all your life#like in my case i also had the trans aspect going on trying to conform to feminity as 'expected' for years#to the point where. even the people i loved the most and who i was closest to. i was still distant. not there.#like my sisters have told me. ever since coming out and transitioning they feel like they actually Know me now#which isn't to say they didn't know me before. there was.. a barrier.#they loved me but couldn't see all of me.#and i think same goes for the process of unmasking my autistic traits and unlearning mirroring#and how this relates back IS how detached it can make you. detached from others. detached from the self.#you're mimicking something you do not understand. you don't understand why you don't understand.#you want to love and be loved. maybe. if i loved like you. i could show i love you. maybe it'll make you love me too.#none of this comes naturally. all of it is learned. if you fail you will try again. again. again.#you're likable. you have become likable. but are you loved? are you capable of love?#do you even know who you are? without the mirror and the mask?#idk i just think. sharena my good friend sharena. i do love you#sharena#fe veronica
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