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#you just gave me Much to think about thank you for that <3
softspiderling · 1 day
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like, ever | j.v
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summary:
“Hey, I’m worried about you.”
You glanced up from your laptop screen to see Rhaena standing in your doorway, her arms crossed.
“Why?”
She gave you a look, before her eyes roamed your room: your textbooks stacked half-hazardly on your desk, two empty ice cream tubs, another half melted one on your nightstand, an empty tissue box on the floor and you on your bed, wrapped in your blanket like a burrito.
OR; You and Jace break up because of a stupid reason, but you’re both too proud to apologize.
pairing: jacaerys velaryon x reader
warnings: kinda toxic behavior from both of them, but like the usual issues in communication that’s so common in people our age idk what to tell you
word count: 4,1k
author’s note: modern au!jace is the president of the frat Alpha Draconis (it's co-ed, Rhaenyra was president during her time at uni), Jace/Aegon/Baela and their respective siblings are all cousins, but this is NOT in the same universe as can I go (where you go). thank you to my wonder sister wife beta @eldrith as usual <3
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“We broke up.”
“No you didn’t.”
“Yes, we did.”
Baela gave you a look, narrowing her eyes at you as she pushed her Econ 1 assignment away. You dropped down on the couch next to her, leaning your head back.
“Why?”
“I don’t wanna talk about it,” you huffed and Baela whacked you in the arm.
“You just came home and dropped a bomb like that, you can’t just not talk about it.”
“Not talk about what?”
You internally groaned when Helaena’s voice floated from the hallway, the front door shutting behind her. An intervention was inevitable at this point. At least Rhaena wasn’t home yet, you knew she was volunteering until six.
“She and Jace broke up,” Baela told her and Helaena paused in the doorway to the living room, a frown on her face as she undid her braid.
“You didn’t.”
“That’s what I said!”
“You know, normal friends would offer ice cream if their friend was going through a break up.”
“I’d offer you ice cream if you were sad,” Helaena pointed out. She sat down next to you, patting your shoulder. “You don’t look sad.”
“Well, I am sad,” you sniffed, but Baela fixed her brown eyes at you until you threw your hands up in frustration. “Fine! I’m mostly mad, okay? Pissed off, actually!”
Baela folded her legs under herself. “Tell us what happened.”
“I don’t know, she just rubs me the wrong way. It’s like she knows you have a girlfriend and she chooses to ignore that.”
You and Jace were laying in his bed, your head on his chest. He had been telling you about the new pledges of the term, and you weren’t exactly fond of one of them - Laura, a nursing major. You were aware of her being especially touchy with Jace, twirling her hair while she was talking to him and always searching him out at every event. Which was fair, he was the president of the frat after all and at first you had told yourself that you were just projecting but the you noticed that she was laughing at all of Jace’s jokes. She was definitely into him. He was not that funny.
“I don’t know, it’s just the way she is, I think,” he said, and you frowned at him.
“Jace, come on, she’s totally into you.”
“Well, good thing I’m into you,” Jace pointed out, turning his head to nose along your neck but you pushed him away, starting to get annoyed that he wasn’t taking this seriously.
“I mean it, Jace.”
“So do I,” he answered, irritated. “Why does this bother you so much?”
“Because I don’t like another girl’s hands being all over you?”
You sat up, leaning away from him with a frown and he only sighed, laying his head back on the pillow, shutting his eyes. He was starting to piss you off.
“She’s not into me! Everyone tries to butter me up because they want to join the frat. And even if she was, why does it matter?”
“It matters because it bothers me and you clearly don’t care!”
“Of course I care,” Jace sighed. He opened his eyes, reaching out for you, and you had to admit your resolve was starting to crumble. “You’re overreacting.”
And just like that, the wall was back up.
“Wow, thanks.”
Your voice was biting as you spoke, tugging your hand out of his grasp and standing up, grabbing your hoodie. Jace was quick to follow you, brows furrowed. Great, now both of you were mad.
“You’re making a big deal out of nothing!” Jace snapped and you only glared at him.
“Thanks for invalidating my feelings, Jacaerys,” you said sarcastically. “If I’m making a deal out of nothing, maybe we’re both nothing.”
Jace’s face fell and he stopped in his tracks, letting out a huff. “You don’t mean that.”
Maybe you didn’t. But you weren’t about to backtrack now. You were a woman of your words.
“Yes, I do.”
You pulled the door open and rushed out of his room, slamming the door shut behind you. Distantly, you could hear Jace call after you and you secretly hoped he would chase after you, but by the time you made it downstairs to the front door, he was still nowhere to be seen.
“That’s…”
Baela and Helaena exchanged a look and you frowned at them. While you hadn’t expected for them to immediately spring into assuring you that they were on your side - you were dating their cousin after all - you also didn’t quite imagined them being so… Shocked.
“What?” you asked, suddenly growing insecure. “I had a point.”
“Well, yeah,” Baela started, “But so did he.”
“Why did you immediately jump into breaking up?” Helaena asked with a soft voice, the voice you knew she used when she didn’t want to hurt your feelings. You lifted your shoulders, then dropped them again, unable to answer her question.
“Did you want to break up?”
“No!”
You tucked your chin against your chest, a pit forming in your stomach. Did you maybe overreact?
“I was just mad,” you said, frowning, picking at the hem of your shirt.
“.. And you wanted to hurt him?” Baela said, finishing your sentence. Your head shot up, a denial on your lips, but your mouth closed when her words sunk in.
“… Maybe.”
“You two really are hotheaded and stubborn,” Helaena pointed out, wrapping an arm around your shoulders. You only glowered, the anger from earlier dissipating and instead was replaced by misery and a little bit of guilt? Luckily, Helaena and Baela left you to your wallowing after they realized you needed some space and you fled to your bedroom, trying to bury yourself in your assignments.
There was only one slight problem. You couldn’t find school bag anywhere.
“Where did I leave it?” you muttered to yourself, checking under your desk for your bag, even opening the drawer for good measure. You were crawling on the floor looking under your bed when it finally dawned on you.
“Fuck.”
You had gone over to the frat’s house right after class, with your school bag. And after the fight, you must have forgotten to grab it.
“Ugh,” you groaned, dropping your forehead on the floor You’d rather crawl under your bed and sleep with the dust bunnies that have been collecting under there than go back to the frat house right now. But you had no choice. The assignment was was due the day after tomorrow and Professor Cole already was in a bad mood because his date went badly.
“Fuck me,” you muttered to yourself, turning to lay on your bad and cursed the Gods for making you miserable as you stared at the ceiling, collecting your wits.
“Oh.”
Luke Velaryon, Jace’s younger AND biological brother, stood in the doorway, apprehensive. He had always been the more sensitive one between the two brothers, but he was also unwaveringly loyal. You had no doubt that Jace had already told him everything about your fight.
“Hey Luke,” you said, giving him a wry smile.
“Hey,” he replied hesitantly. “Jace is not here.”
“I know.”
Luke pressed his lips together, his eyes darting around as if he was expecting his older brother to come out of the bushes any second. “Are you okay?”
You let out a small laugh, shaking your head. What a sweet boy.
“Yeah, alright enough I guess,” you replied, sighing. “Listen, I forgot my bag in Jace’s room and I really need it to do an assignment, could you let me in?”
“I don’t know….” Luke answered slowly. “Jace should be back soon though. Maybe you can just wait until he gets back? And then you guys could talk?”
Bless him.
You bit on your lip, running your hand through your hair, exasperated. “Listen Luke, I really appreciate you trying to look out for Jace, but I really can’t see him right now.”
Luke exhaled, shifting on his feet like he was undecided. The longer it took for him to decide, the higher chances were you’d run into Jace on your way out.
“Please, Luke, I just need to grab my bag really quickly. He won’t even notice I was there.”
With a loud sigh, Luke finally nodded, opening the door wider and taking a step back.
“He’s gonna be back soon, you need to hurry up.”
“Thanks Luke!”
You hushed past him into the house, walking the familiar way up the stairs to Jace’s bedroom, shutting the door behind you. With a small sigh, you looked around, trying to discern your stuff from his. It was harder than you had first anticipated, your belongings strewn all over the room. Picking your favorite scrunchie off of his nightstand next to a picture of the two of you during New Year’s Eve, you put your hair up as you narrowed your eyes, feeling relief settle in your chest when you saw your backpack lean against the desk.
“Thank God”, you muttered, grabbing it quickly. Just as you headed to the door, hand on the door knob, you could hear voices down the hallway through the closed door. You cursed, recognizing it as Jace and Cregan.
Fuck.
Immediately, you let go of the door knob, taking a few steps back, trying to come up with a way you wouldn’t be caught standing in the middle of Jace’s bedroom. Did you have enough time to make the climb out of the window and scale down the roof?
“- it’ll blow over. I’ll give her some time to calm down and-”
Before you could make a decision, the door swung open, and Jace entered. He was looking back at Cregan, who raised his brows when he saw you in the middle of the room.
“Wha-?” Jace turned his head, his mouth dropping open. “… Hey.”
“Hey.”
Cregan glanced between the two of you, narrowing his eyes. Meanwhile, Jace was rubbing the back of his neck.
“Did you forget something?”
“Yeah,” you answered - LAME! - lifting your backpack.
Jace nodded slowly. “Was there anything you wanted to say?”
You frowned at him, confused.
“Like what?”
“I don’t know,” Jace said, shrugging with his shoulders. “I thought you were here to apologize.”
Cregan groaned, leaning his forehead against the door frame as you felt all the anger from before welling up again.
“Me apologize?” You repeated, your voice shrill. “What about you? I bet Laura’s thrilled to hear we broke up.”
“You just ended things for no reason! Laura’s not even into me!” Jace snapped and Cregan pushed himself off of the door frame.
“Maybe we all should just calm down.”
“Shut up, Cregan!” You and Jace yelled at the same time, your anger very briefly directed at Jace’s best friend.
Cregan flinched, raising his hands defensively. “Jesus, sorry. I’ll never try to help again,” he muttered. “Let me give you two a minute.”
He stepped out of the room but you held your hands up, stopping him with a scoff.
“No, I’m done here,” you huffed, shaking your head in disbelief. With one last angry look at Jace, you pushed between them, running out of the house, smoke coming out of your ears.
You spent the rest of the week distracting yourself. Burying yourself in assignments and reading, eating ice cream - there was a deal at Whole Foods, five for three, your freezer was full - and you only cried once.
“Hey, I’m worried about you.”
You glanced up from your laptop screen to see Rhaena standing in your doorway, her arms crossed.
“Why?”
She gave you a look, before her eyes roamed your room: your textbooks stacked half-hazardly on your desk, two empty ice cream tubs, another half melted one on your nightstand, an empty tissue box on the floor and you on your bed, wrapped in your blanket like a burrito. You sighed, letting the blankets fall from your shoulders.
“I’m fine, Rhae.”
“Hey, did you convince her to come?” Baela skidded to a halt next to Rhaena, looking from her sister to you. Rhaena only sighed while you narrowed your eyes at Baela’s get up. She was wearing black leather pants and a brown corset; she looked like she was going out.
“Come where?”
“Alpha Draconis’ summer term opening party.”
Right that. The party you had helped Jace plan. Before you broke up.
“I don’t know guys,” you sighed, leaning back against your headboard. “I don’t think it’s a good idea for me to go.”
“You don’t have to go,” Rhaena assured you but Baela shushed her, shaking her head.
“No, you absolutely have to go,” she insisted. “We’ve let you wallow in your misery long enough. It’s time to put your big girl pants on and face Jace. You broke up with him for a shitty reason and yes, he was being a jerk, but you were being a bitch. Now suck it up and get your man back.”
You gaped at her, and Rhaena whacked Baela in the arm, but she only shrugged, ever the unapologetic brutally honest one.
“What? You know I’m right,” Baela only said, frowning at her twin before she turned to you. “So?”
With a groan, you closed your eyes. You knew Baela was right, in a way, and it was no use sitting around when your friends were going out. You had to see him eventually.
“Fine,” you gave in, pushing the blanket back as Baela cheered, immediately disappearing. Rhaena only shook her head, stepping into your bedroom, helping you clean up a little.
“I’m driving,” she told you. “Just tell me if you want to leave, okay?”
You nodded, giving Rhaena a grin when something soft just hit you in the face with no warning, courtesy of Baela having returned to your bedroom.
“Put that on.”
The projectile fell to floor, and as you picked it up, you recognized it as a dark red dress, tags still on.
“Hel’s headed to the party from work, so we’ll meet her there in an hour, go take a shower and I’ll do your hair,” Baela said, reaching for your hand to pull you up. “Come on, up up up!”
Begrudgingly, you let Baela usher you into the shower, shutting the door behind you very decidedly. You stared at yourself in the mirror, eyes rimmed red and hair a mess and you allowed yourself a minute of respite before you turned the shower on. If you had to go to that stupid party, you’d make sure to look the absolute best.
“Am I crazy or is it even more crowded than last term?”
You winced as you followed Baela and Rhaena through an especially crowded spot in the house, glancing around.
“No, it’s definitely more people,” Baela agreed, squeezing your hand to make sure not to lose you in the mass. “Has Helaena said where she is?”
“She said she was in backyards,” Rhaena replied and Baela steered you in the direction of the backyard. Meanwhile you tried not to let your eyes roam too much; you didn’t want to seem like you were looking for Jace, even though that was exactly what you were doing. Just as you reached the patio doors, Helaena appeared, stopping you in the doorway.
“Hey guys,” she said, breathless, her eyes flitting over to you as you greeted her. “Should we go get drinks?”
“I’m not dragging my ass back through that crowd,” you moaned, shaking your head. “Let’s just sit down by the pool for a second before we go back in.”
You nudged Helaena out of the way gently, but the blonde grabbed your arm, trying to pull you back.
“But I’m really thirsty.”
“Hel, come on,” you laughed. “You’ll survive ten more minutes without-”
The rest of your words died on your tongue when you caught sight of Jace sitting by the pool, surrounded by his frat brothers and of course, Laura. Now you knew why Helaena was so adamant to get you away from the backyard. It was too loud to hear what Jace was saying, but he must be telling an extremely funny story with the way Laura was laughing, touching his shoulder. They weren’t doing anything scandalous, but it still hurt you to see him still talking to her after you voiced your concerns. You tried not to let it get to you. It wasn’t your business anymore anyways, but you were still a little sick to the stomach.
With a scoff, you turned away, embarrassment burning your cheeks as your friends looked at you with pitiful eyes.
“Sorry,” Rhaena said and you only shrugged with your shoulders.
“Whatever,” you muttered, clearing your throat. “I told you, she was into him. Now he’s free to do as he pleases.”
Baela winced. “We can leave, if you want.”
“No, I’m not leaving because of that clown.”
The girls let out a laugh and Helaena wrapped her arm around you. You gave her a wry smile, leaning into her.
“Let’s go get you that drink.”
As Helaena dragged you away, you couldn’t help but glance back to Jace and for a split second, your eyes met. You quickly turned away, feeling a lump form in your throat. You couldn’t wait to get drinks. After getting to the kitchen, the four of you did two rounds of shots, knowing where the boys kept their expensive booze; Rhaena then mixed you some drinks before you settled on the couch in the living room. Taking a careful sip of your cup, you immediately pulled a face, looking at Rhaena.
“What the hell is in this?”
“I think Grey Goose and Coke.”
“You think?” you asked, wincing when you took another sip. “This is awful Rhae.”
“What is awful?”
Aegon, Helaena’s brother, one cousin of many in the Targaryen family, suddenly plopped down on the couch next to you.
“Oh great, Aegon is here,” Baela deadpanned and Aegon only mocked Baela as he reached for your drink.
“Sure, just go ahead and take my drink.”
Aegon took a big gulp of your drink, humming. “It’s not bad,” he said, offering the cup back to you but you politely declined. You didn’t know where Aegon’s mouth had been in the last 24 hours, there was no way you’d drink out of the same cup he had.
“So, what’s this I hear about you and our cousin breaking up?” Aegon asked, throwing his arm around the back of the couch and you scooted forward, trying to escape his touch.
“You heard right,” you said, throwing him a dirty look and Rhaena rolled her eyes.
“You’re a dick, Aeg.”
“What?” Aegon exclaimed. “’t was just a question, no harm done, right?”
You let out a deep sigh, pushing away from the couch.
“I need some air,” you told the girls and Rhaena furrowed her brows, worried.
“Do you want me to come with you?”
“We can make Aegon leave,” Baela offered and Aegon made a noise, frowning at his cousin but you shook your head,
“Nah, I’m good. Just, text me if you guys go somewhere, okay?”
“Are you sure, babe?” Helaena asked and you nodded, patting her shoulder gently.
“Yeah, ‘m fine. I promise.”
With a small wave, you disappeared into the crowd, hearing the cousins starting to argue, but it was background noise to you. Instead of heading to the front door, you inconspicuously headed upstairs, past a kissing couple, and to the bathroom on the second floor. The door was shut, but unlocked and unoccupied as you opened the door. You let it fall shut in its hinges after you, walking over to the window, like you had done so many times before, but never alone. Clicking the window open, you carefully climbed out to the roof, sliding the window closed behind you again. You traipsed over the roof, before settling down on the small nook that sat right above Benjicot’s bedroom, stretching out your legs.
Jace had shown you this place when you first started dating, and sometimes when the parties got too much, the two of you snuck out here to be alone. It was probably risky to go here; but it was the only place you felt like you could retreat without having to go home.
The noise of the party downstairs could still be heard, especially the conversations in the backyard, but to you, it seemed quieter as you closed your eyes. It had cooled down significantly since you had come to the party, but you enjoyed the bite of the cold on your bare arms. A deep breath escaped your lips, your chest heavy.
Looking back on it, you knew what you had said was wrong. It was words hurled in the heat of the moment, chosen to provoke a reaction out of Jace and if you could take them back, you would. But now it was too late, it had seemed like Laura had already sunken her talons into Jace as soon as he was available - not that she had cared much about whether he had a girlfriend or not - and he seemed to be lapping it up.
“Stupid,” you muttered to yourself, wiping the tear that escaped your eye from your cheek with the back of your hand. You froze, when you heard the bathroom window slide open; not daring to look back. His steps were careful as he walked towards you, as if not to spook you, but before he came into view, a soft jacket was draped over your shoulders, engulfing you in his scent. You let out a breath you hadn’t realized you were holding, tugging the jacket tighter around your body when Jace sat down next to you.
The silence between you stretched on, before Jace cleared his throat.
“You were right.”
You let out a small scoff at his words, glancing over to him.
“You’re shitting me, right?” you asked in disbelief. “She was all over you like that and you still thought she wasn’t into you?”
Jace winced, ducking his head.
“That’s fair. Maybe I was a little oblivious. It’s just…” he paused, sighing. “I didn’t see it, because I don’t really see other girls. Ever since we met, it’s just been you. I didn’t even realize that she was flirting with me until she straight up asked me if we could go upstairs.”
Jealousy flared up in your chest at his words, and you frowned, quickly giving him a once over.
“Well, did you?” you asked, your voice tight. Jace gave you a look, his hands dropping down on his lap.
“I’m sitting here with you, aren’t I?”
Relief flooded your veins and you ducked your head to hide your face. Jace glanced over at you, his face vulnerable and you bit your lip.
“I’m sorry too,” you then said. “I didn’t mean what I said. It was petty and stupid, and I’m sorry.”
“Well looks like we both got to work on some things,” Jace said, tentatively reaching out to take your hand; out of reflex you immediately laced your hand with his. He quirked a smile at you, scooting closer to you and you glanced up at him, almost shyly before you leaned in, as he met you halfway, your lips touching. Jace wrapped his hand around the back of your neck as you kissed, and if you hadn’t felt warm before, you definitely did now.
“What’s happening?”
“They’re kissing!”
“No way! Move over!”
“You move over!”
A crash sounded and you pulled away from Jace, just to see Luke and his cousins spying on you from the bathroom.
“Nothing to see here, carry on!” Luke yelled, quickly sliding the window back down, but their bickering could be heard through the closed window.
Jace snorted out a laugh, leaning his forehead against yours and you only grinned lazily at him.
“Come on, let’s go face the circus before they break the window and we have to scale down the roof,” Jace said, offering you his hand as he got up. You let him help you up, as the two of you walked back to the bathroom window.
“You know I thought about scaling down the roof when you caught me in your bedroom?”
“You’re joking.”
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author’s note: tell me what you think <3 also will add the taglist tomorrow bc i’m so tired but wanted to post🫶🏼
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megalony · 3 days
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Bedroom Talk- Part 3
Here is the newest part of this Eddie Diaz series, thank you to the lovely anon who gave me the idea for this. I hope you will all like it.
Taglist: @justagirlthatlovedtoread @musicistheway @avada-kedavra-bitch-187 @luula @missdreamofendless @bradleybeachbabe @woderfulkawaii @amberpanda99 @daggersquadphantom @marvel-and-chicago-fan @angryknightstatesmantrash @minjix @lyje @kmc1989 @itsmytimetoodream @noonenuts @hiireadstuff @ashie-babie @classyunknownlover @jayyeahthatsme @sp1ritssz @dumb-fawkin-bitch @oliverstarksbae @gimatida @heart-35 @supernaturalstilinski @kyky9103 @wutheringhearts2275 @gay4hotmilfs @itshamleth @chaoticnosleepinfluencer @gs29 @wh0reforsmutstuff @mel-vaz @natashamea18 @chrisevansdaughter @alexandra848484 @deena-beena-weena @targaryenluvs @kpoplover-19 @marvelmenarebeautiful @gillybear17
@zoeybennett @mrspeacem1nusone @zephyrmonkey @estella-novella @eleventhdoctorsangel @kniselle @senjoritanana @shauna-carsley @dottierose @cfdhouse51 @darkfemme1 @rainechase45 @lolalolsstuff @jupiter1700 @ashdoctor @an-aliens-ghost @lunaroserites @houseoftwistedspirits @callsignwidow @winterreader-nowwriter @reneinii @bellsbomb @western-pyro @itsgigikay @harry-satellite @midsummereve1993 @babyqueen17 @buckyyyismahhlife @sammiejane22
Eddie Diaz Masterlist
Bedroom Talk Masterlist
Summary: Eddie doesn't want to go through the struggle of another pregnancy, after the complications (Y/n) had last time. But things get complicated when she gets pregnant again.
Enjoy.
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A smile flashed across (Y/n)'s face and she set the basket of washing down so she could look across the bed at Lilah. The three year old was sat cross-legged in the middle of the bed, her head turned to one side and her arms bound around the latest teddy that had become her infatuation.
Moving forward, (Y/n) perched down on the end of the bed and watched her daughter shuffle closer. Her eyes wide with curiosity and a grin splashed across her dimpled face.
"Is it a boy?" Her nose scrunched up as she pulled a face and looked down at (Y/n)'s stomach.
They had deliberately waited until they were twenty weeks and until (Y/n) started to show before they told the kids they were having another baby. It felt safest. Neither (Y/n) or Eddie wanted to jump the gun and tell the kids in case any problem or complication happened and they had to think about terminating the pregnancy.
And both of them had been waiting for something to go wrong. It felt too good to be true that nothing had gone wrong so far. They were taking things one day at a time, trying their best not to get too eager or excited or too attached. Just in case.
(Y/n) could feel her smile softening and she felt shivers running down her spine when Lilah leaned across to rub her stomach.
"I don't know yet."
They had decided not to find out. They didn't know the gender when they had Chris, but that had been because Eddie had been away in the army and he was already missing so much of the pregnancy. (Y/n) didn't want to find out on her own.
They knew when they had Lilah, but this time, it felt better not to know. That stopped them from drowning in hope in case something happened. And it was almost a superstition for (Y/n). She knew with Lilah and that pregnancy had been horrid. Not knowing might just help her have a better pregnancy this time.
Their new motto was 'third time lucky'.
"Can it be a boy?" Lilah shuffled over and snuggled into (Y/n)'s side, curving around her stomach to cuddle into her.
It felt nice to be cuddling like this. God knows when she had Lilah, Chris had been rather weary. He wanted to hug (Y/n) and comfort her so badly when she was sick, but he didn't want to hurt her. At least so far, he wasn't afraid and (Y/n) wasn't extremely ill.
And this was the first time Lilah had seen (Y/n) pregnant, she was finding it fascinating, although (Y/n) knew she wasn't pleased about not being the youngest anymore.
"Why?" Reaching up, (Y/n) slowly started to card her fingers through the three year old's hair, brushing the locks away from her face.
"I wanna be the only girl."
"We'll have to wait and see." (Y/n) couldn't make any promises but if the baby was a girl, Lilah would just have to learn. It wouldn't be much different if the baby was a boy, she would still have to learn to share her parent's attention and play and be around a younger sibling.
"Why's baby there?" Lilah nuzzled her face against (Y/n)'s stomach and patted her hand there for a few moments.
"That's just where baby's grow, where you came from." (Y/n) wasn't ready for this line of conversation, and she found herself overwhelmed with relief when she heard the front door open and subsequently slam shut. "I think daddy's home."
She managed to press a kiss to the top of Lilah's head before the toddler was squealing and clambering off the bed so she could trot out of the room and find Eddie. Since his shift finished earlier today, he had gone to pick Chris up from school whereas Lilah had been at home with (Y/n) today, she wasn't in nursery full time yet.
It was a relief; (Y/n) didn't want to try and have that conversation with Lilah, she was far too young. She'd had enough amusement last time when Chris kept asking Eddie so many questions. Her favourite had been when he asked Eddie how he put the baby there; something Eddie didn't know how to answer.
Moving her hands to the bed, (Y/n) pushed herself up to her feet and turned round to reach for the washing basket again. She held the basket in front of her, trying not to tilt back and lean it against her bump.
She was only twenty-four weeks, but her bump was starting to get more prominent and Eddie was slowly thawing out and coming round to the idea of another baby. He wanted another, but the risks were still haunting him and the memory of last time stopped him from mellowing out.
It was almost as if Eddie had been believing they weren't having a baby, but now (Y/n) was starting to show and there was no going back, he was allowing himself to get a bit eager.
"Mum!"
"Hi baby," (Y/n) juggled the basket under one arm and wrapped her free arm around Chris when he hurried over to her. She pressed a kiss to his curls and ran her hand up and down his back. "Good day at school?"
"Yeah, science was fun." That was his favourite lesson. He had a love for all things inquizitive and Chris loved to watch documentaries with Buck and learn new information.
"That's good." She ran her hand up and down his side while Chris kissed her stomach. When he finally unravelled from her side, he moved to head into his room and (Y/n) walked ahead down the hall, aiming for the kitchen.
She paused in the hall, leaning against the kitchen doorway as she stared ahead at Eddie and their girl near the front door. Clearly, Eddie had barely got through the door before Lilah tackled him.
Her teddy was long forgotten on the floor and her arms were deadlocked around Eddie's neck as he picked her up and cocooned her into his chest. He pressed a dozen kisses to her cheeks and bounced her in his arms, clearly loving the welcoming he had received.
He pressed a few more kisses to her cheeks causing her to giggle in his arms, and when his eyes looked ahead and set on (Y/n), his grin softened like melting butter.
"Alright princess, you go find us a movie to watch, I'll be there in a minute." Eddie pressed another kiss to Lilah's temple before he leaned over and gently set her down to her feet.
He watched her scramble for her teddy and disappear into the living room and he just knew that when he went back through there in a few minutes, there would be a DVD mess. She would scatter all the movies along the floor to find the one she wanted to watch, it would be like an explosion happened in there.
Eddie kicked off his boots and made a beeline for (Y/n), following her into the kitchen when she started to walk.
"Good shift?" She called over her shoulder causing Eddie to smile, but he found his eyes narrowing when he watched her.
She had the wash basket tucked under her left arm, but her right hand moved to press into her lower back. A cringe tore through Eddie when he heard her spine click when she applied some pressure, and he saw the way it caused (Y/n) to wince.
(Y/n) paused and leaned into the counter on her right when she felt Eddie pressing up behind her. She grinned and hummed, tilting her head when his lips attached to the side of her neck and she felt his arm loop around the right side of her chest just beneath her arm.
"Rather slow today." He murmured the words against her neck, barely letting his lips leave her skin. "Give me that, amor."
A jolt tore through (Y/n)'s system and her lips parted when the basket beneath her arm was suddenly whisked out of her hold. She dropped to the left as if following the washing but quickly recovered her balance enough to look over her shoulder at her husband. She arched a brow and hummed when he swooped in for a kiss, clearly trying to distract her.
"I can do it." (Y/n) pulled on his lower lip and reached her hand out for the basket, but Eddie simply tutted against her mouth and shook his head. "Baby," She twisted to look at him but Eddie was already unravelling from her and moving towards the washer.
He held the basket in one hand as if it weighed nothing more than a pillow and (Y/n) couldn't help but shiver.
"So your back isn't hurting?" Eddie glanced over his shoulder as he leant down and started loading the washer, waiting for (Y/n) to protest and try to lie to him. But she rolled her lips together and glanced down at the floor rather than at his expression that was enough to melt her into a puddle.
"It's just a bit sore." She mumbled defeatedly, seeing as Eddie was already doing the job she had tried to start and there was no use arguing with him.
"So sit down and I'll sort the washing."
Moving over to stand behind him, (Y/n) looped her arms around his torso and pressed her cheek against his back. She loved the feeling of Eddie's chest vibrating as he quietly chuckled and carried on. He leaned from one side to the next, loading the machine and turning it on while (Y/n) stayed attached to him like a monkey.
"Go sit down," Eddie urged quietly as he paused in front of the sink, trying his best to look over his shoulder but he couldn't get a clear view of (Y/n). Not with the way she was clinging to his back like this.
"I'm fine."
"You really think you're gonna convince me?"
Trying to be careful, he turned around in (Y/n)'s embrace so his back was leant against the counter and he folded his arms over his chest, leaning back when (Y/n) leant forward. He couldn't stop his lips from curving into a smile when she perched her chin on his forearms and squeezed her arms around his torso.
(Y/n) didn't believe she could convince him, she wasn't sure why she was still trying, so she settled for smiling sweetly at him instead.
"We said we'd be cautious this time," With a sigh, Eddie uncrossed his arms and looped them around the back of (Y/n)'s shoulders instead. "So, if your back hurts, sit down and rest. Please."
Her lips curved into a smile when she felt Eddie's lips smothering her temple and she felt his fingers ghosting up and down her back, tracing over her spine. Pushing forward, (Y/n) pressed her temple into Eddie's chest, inhaling the scent of the cherry shower gel he always used when he got a shower at work.
Eddie was relieved that this pregnancy seemed to be going far better than when they had Lilah. The morning sickness wasn't nearly as bad as last time and (Y/n) wasn't sick to her stomach at the smell of food or laid in bed with no energy to get herself up at all.
But if she didn't feel well or something was wrong, Eddie needed her to tell him and to go sit down. He wasn't taking any chances this time. If she had back ache Eddie didn't want her making it any worse by trying to do everything around the house; that was what he was here for. If she pushed herself too hard or strained too much she could have another abruption like last time and he wasn't risking it.
He would much rather play it safe and he wanted (Y/n) to relax and have as little stress as possible this time around.
"Well then you need to sit with me, I haven't seen you all day."
Retracting her arms from Eddie's back, (Y/n) trailed her fingertips up his chest until she could cup his neck. Her thumb traced the tip of his jaw and along his chin before she pushed up on her toes to catch him in a kiss.
If she was going to go and sit down, then he had to accompany her so she wouldn't be so lonely.
She could feel him smiling down into the kiss and his tongue traced her lower lip while he shifted his hands to hold her hips. His fingertips squeezed lovingly into her flesh and he pressed against her, pushing off the counter so he could gently walk her backwards. If he had to sit with her to get her to rest, he was more than happy to oblige.
His hands stayed on her hips, even as their lips finally detached and (Y/n) turned so she could see where she was going rather than walk backwards blindly. She felt his lips attaching to the back of her head and she couldn't bite back her smile when his hand slid round from her hip to her stomach instead.
This is what (Y/n) felt like she had missed out on last time. They had spent the majority of her second pregnancy just panicking and feeling crappy and thinking the worst. Eddie hadn't been there when she had Chris and then with Lilah, those touches and hugs and kisses were laced with panic and pain.
(Y/n) liked this, where Eddie would wrap around her or feel the baby start to move and they didn't have to panic that something was going to go wrong. Or she didn't feel deflated and drained and like she was on death's door.
It was relieving that Eddie was finally letting himself get close to this baby, he was reaching out for her and touching. Rather than trying to detach from the situation and hold back his enthusiasm.
When they walked into the living room, Eddie shifted his right hand from (Y/n)'s hip to clamp his hand down on his own hip. His head tilted to one side and he huffed, arching a brow when he looked at their daughter.
As expected, the three year old was sat on the floor, DVDs scattered all around her and a cheeky smile lighting up her face as she seemed to have found the one she wanted to watch.
"Did a bomb go off in here?" Eddie mused, staring his daughter down when she looked up at him and just grinned.
A giggly "Exploded!" left Lilah's lips before she waved the DVD out towards Eddie, showing him the one she wanted him to put on the tv for her.
Eddie pressed a lasting kiss to the side of (Y/n)'s head and waited for her to ease down onto the sofa before he moved over to Lilah. He crouched down in front of her and took the case from her and he brushed his free hand beneath her chin, tilting her head up towards him.
"Be my hero and put them back for me, princess." He pecked her temple and motioned to the cases.
As usual, he noticed that Lilah started to organise the cases in piles of colours. She would group them together and then line them up in the cabinet in order of the rainbow colours. It bugged Chris, who liked them in order of release since they were mostly Disney movies and had the collection numbers on the sleeves.
"Good girl." Once she'd sorted them into piles, Eddie swooped down and picked her up, spinning her around to hear her squeal before he sat down on the sofa with her on his lap.
***
"Mum…" Tilting his head back, Chris looked behind him at (Y/n) and slouched his shoulders back against the bottom of the sofa. He brought his knees up to his stomach and held the colouring book up for her to see the latest picture he had done.
Chris had a few of his school books scattered on the coffee table, but he had done the little bits of homework he needed to do. So he had switched to colouring, and he was working on a baking book that had lots of different cakes, cookies, desserts and designs to colour in.
"Looking good… why's that one green?" A soft grin formed on (Y/n)'s lips but she reached out to point at one of the cakes. The cake itself, Chris had coloured in orange, but the icing was bright lime green.
"Halloween theme."
"Oh. We'll have to make a cake this year, Bobby's throwing a halloween party."
"We going?" The excitement was clear in Chris's voice and he grinned up at (Y/n) when she leaned over to peck his temple.
"Of course."
Twisting on her side a little more, (Y/n) leaned her arm over and looped it around Chris's chest so she could give him a sideways hug. She was laid on the sofa with a cushion behind her back and Chris sat on the floor in front of her so he could both watch tv and do some colouring.
She ran her fingers through his messy curls and leaned over to watch him do some more colouring as he switched to a different page.
Her eyes cast over to the armchair and a smile softened on her lips when she looked at Lilah. She was curled up in the chair, cuddling one of the cushions, her head hanging dangerously close to the edge of the chair and a pacifier between her lips. She had been full of energy all morning so it was only right that she had a power nap now.
Pushing up on her elbow, (Y/n) tried to find the will power to sit herself up but it was hard when she had been laid here quite comfortably for the last hour or so.
The sound of footsteps caught her attention and she tilted her head back to see Eddie padding barefoot into the living room. He'd gotten a shower and seemingly gotten changed into some slacks. A familiar pair of joggers now hung low on his hips and one of his pyjama shirts clung tightly to his frame.
"Babe, her head," (Y/n) waved her hand towards Lilah to get Eddie's attention.
He crouched down in front of the chair, grinning widely as he carefully slipped his hand beneath her cheek and nudged her head back. He wriggled her shoulders back a little so she was curled up properly rather than half sliding off the chair.
A quiet "Thank you," passed (Y/n)'s lips and she swatted her hand down on Eddie's bum as he walked in front of her. He carefully climbed around Chris, ruffling his hair in the process before he slumped down next to (Y/n) on the sofa.
He carefully lifted her legs and laid them over his lap instead so he could slouch down into the sofa. His hand started trailing up and down (Y/n)'s leg and up towards her thigh and he began drawing patterns into her skin.
"Mum said we're going to a halloween party." Chris looked over his shoulder towards Eddie who rose a brow as a smile flooded his face.
"Yeah, at the end of the month buddy. You need to think of what you wanna dress up as." Eddie was rather excited for the party, they hadn't gone last year because (Y/n) hadn't been well and Eddie had been on shift, but this year all of the station were able to go. Bobby always threw a good party and it was tradition for the Diaz family to dress up.
Last year Chris had dressed up and Buck had taken him trick of treating for a while since Eddie was working. While Lilah stayed home with (Y/n).
Eddie went back to tracing his fingers up and down (Y/n)'s thigh, his eyes darting down to Chris every now and then as he started to stim and rock back and forth. Clearly happy and thinking hard about what he wanted to be for the party. He would change his mind quite a few times from now up until they got him a costume.
When his phone buzzed in his pocket, Eddie lifted his hips up and tried to fish his phone out of his pocket. But his eyes cast across to (Y/n) when her leg jerked on his lap and she winced.
"You okay?" His eyes cast down to her and he placed his phone on the armrest while his hand squeezed her thigh.
He watched the way (Y/n) glanced across at him and nodded, despite the way her cheek twitched when she winced. He leaned to the right so he was slouched a bit closer to her and his eyes ran up and down her frame, trying to find out what was wrong.
"Amor, what's wrong?" His words were whispered quietly against her arm as he leaned over and pecked her shoulder.
"Nothing, just jarred my ankle, I think I slept funny." (Y/n) coiled her knees up towards her stomach so she could trace her fingertips over her left ankle. She had been fine yesterday, but when she woke up today, her foot spasmed every now and then and she had an ache in the back of her ankle. It was probably the way she laid or tossed and turned during the night.
She smiled and burrowed her face down into the pillow, shimmying to get comfy again now that Eddie had slouched so he was almost laid behind her with her lower legs still draped over his lap.
"I can't see my feet anymore anyway." She grinned and reached her hand up to run her fingers up and down his arm.
She felt Eddie kiss her shoulder again before he sat back up straight and gingerly reached down for her ankle. He pulled up the bottom of her leggings so he could take a look and (Y/n) sucked her lower lip between her teeth to stop from wincing when he touched a sore spot at the back of her ankle.
"I think you might have sprained it."
"Sounds about right, doesn't hurt much though." They shared a look and Eddie's lips set into a stern line made (Y/n) shiver. That silent look told her that maybe she should have told him earlier and it wasn't very comforting to him that she wasn't in pain because she had still hurt herself.
After a few minutes, (Y/n) slowly lowered her legs from Eddie's lap and when she pushed up, she found her lips curving into a grin. His hand reached out for her elbow and he helped her sit up, his expression softening when (Y/n) pecked his cheek and squeezed his thigh.
She kept hold of his thigh and used him as leverage to push herself up to her feet, but a gasp tumbled past her lips when both Eddie's hands clamped down on her hips, preventing her from walking away. He didn't let go and when he gave a few tugs, (Y/n) gave in and sat back down.
She watched with intrigue as his arms looped around her waist and his lips attached to her neck.
"Where are you going?" He murmured against her neck, pulling her back so she was leaning into his chest which just made her more tired. She let her head rest on his shoulder but (Y/n) knew if she didn't move soon she would never have the will to get up again.
"To make dinner? Or aren't you hungry?"
"You've hurt your ankle and you're tired, just get some rest, I'll do it." Eddie gave her a pointed look when he saw the amusement light up her eyes.
"You can't cook." Affection flooded (Y/n)'s tone so he knew she wasn't trying to be rude or rebute his offer, but they all knew Eddie was no chef. He was more of a helping hand in the kitchen, cutting veg and washing the pots rather than actually frying or baking or making anything.
"Chris can supervise." Eddie looked down at their eldest who turned and nodded, already tossing his colours back into the box of pens and pencils. He enjoyed cooking, he would gladly help.
"Baby…" Reaching her hand up, (Y/n) gently cupped his jaw, gliding her thumb across his cheek as she caught him in a kiss. "I'm fine."
Eddie almost smiled against her lips when he felt her try to get up again while Chris had already toddled off into the kitchen. Kissing him wasn't going to distract him enough to make him give in on this. He tightened his hands on her hips and nudged her until she was laid back down on the sofa like she had been before. Their lips still attached as he moved onto his knees to lean over her.
He traced his hand along the side of her stomach and sucked her lower lip between his teeth before they finally parted and he moved around. He got up to his feet, staying stooped over so he could peck her lips again, and then her temple.
"I'd better not see you walking on that ankle for the rest of the day, mi amor. Bed rest it is."
A shiver ran through (Y/n)'s blood as she stared up at those dark eyes that were piercing through her like he was giving her an order she couldn't break.
"We're not taking any risks this time, remember?" He muttered against her temple, tracing his hand along her stomach again before he pulled back. His eyes glanced down to the armchair, checking that Lilah was still asleep and not about to fall off the chair before he headed into the kitchen to find Chris.
If (Y/n) was hurt or not feeling her best then he wanted her to sit down and take it easy. While he was home he would try and do what he could so that she didn't have to.
God knows if Eddie was at work when (Y/n) didn't feel well she would push through the feeling and try to ignore it. She couldn't exactly sit down when she had two kids to look after. So while Eddie was home, he would do everything.
***
Dragging her shirt over her head, (Y/n) pulled it down, but she stopped it just before her stomach. She traced her fingertips across her bump, unable to fight off a smile. Her shape was changing again.
It was still strange to be feeling like this for a third time. After agreeing not to have anymore kids and living each day with the knowledge that it was a risk, that history could repeat itself. And remembering how it had gone last time, it felt strange to be back in this position again.
But this time it was working out better. At least, better than with Lilah, and Eddie was experiencing it with her. They weren't feeling down or upset or in agony, and it was already going better than they expected.
They could finally start thinking of this as a third baby and not just worry that it would be a problem or a direct route to heartache.
The only thing they had to worry about was labour, and convincing the doctor that a C-section was the best course for this pregnancy. "We can worry about that later." (Y/n) murmured to her stomach as she ran her hands along her bump a few more times before she pulled her shirt down.
Her hands moved to her hair and she gathered it up into a ponytail and she turned towards the door. Lilah should be fast asleep by now with Eddie, and Chris would no doubt want to watch a movie before bed.
A gasp tumbled past (Y/n)'s lips and she slammed her arms out in front of her when a striking pain tore up the back of her left ankle which gave way beneath her.
Her eyes slammed closed on impact and her hands grappled for the sink when she fell against it. But she couldn't smother the tepid cry that left her lips when her knees crashed to the tiled floor which felt horrid as if her knees had just smashed on impact. Shakes tore through her body and she stayed curled over as low pulses tremored through her.
Moving her hands to her thighs, (Y/n) slumped round until she was sat on the floor with her legs curled awkwardly beneath her. She leaned against the sink, one hand gripping the basin to try and keep herself sitting up while her other hand dug into her thigh.
Another tremor rattled through her when she looked up and the bathroom door hurriedly opened.
Tilting his head to one side, Chris clung to the door and pushed into it like he was trying to camouflage himself into his surroundings. His eyes locked on his mum and he waited a few moments, trying to see if she was okay after the thud he had just heard.
Chris wasn't blind, he knew the ankle (Y/n) was trying to touch and assess was the one she said had hurt yesterday when they were watching a movie.
"Mum?"
"I- I'm okay. You need the bathroom, baby?" (Y/n) managed a smile and tried twisting round to reach up for the sink to get herself up, but she stopped when Chris scurried away from the door.
"I'm getting dad." He was away from the door and rushing down the hall before (Y/n) could call out for him and she sighed.
Great.
"Dad!" Chris hurried to the end room and pushed into his parent's bedroom, locking eyes with Eddie immediately.
His dad was laid in the middle of the bed, Lilah curled up happily on his chest, fast asleep. Eddie did a night shift last night and had been awake all day today so when Lilah needed to settle for bed, Eddie brought her into his room so he could take a power nap. He wouldn't be far behind her once she was asleep in her own bed.
He looked like he was about to fall asleep right there, laid in his pyjama bottoms, slouched down against a mountain of pillows. The covers were tangled around his feet and there was a thin blanket draped around Lilah who was breathing softly into his chest. Drooling onto his bare chest with a pacifier in her mouth.
When Eddie looked towards the door, he smiled but pressed a finger to his lips, he didn't want Lilah to wake up or else it would take a while to settle her again.
"You okay buddy?"
"Mum fell."
A frown etched onto Eddie's face and he nodded before he looked down at Lilah. His hands moved to her back and the back of her head as he slowly rolled to the right and eased her down onto the bed. He wrapped the blanket around her and kissed the top of her head before he quickly got up.
"Sit with your sister for me?" They traded places and Chris eagerly clambered into Eddie's spot in the bed and tucked himself under the covers. Eddie took that as a hint that both kids were going to stay in bed with them for a while, not that he minded. Chris could watch a movie in their room while Eddie fell asleep.
He kissed Chris's curls before he headed out of the room, guessing that (Y/n) was in the bathroom because the door was open and the light was seeping out into the dark hallway.
"Amor, Chris said you fell."
His eyes raked over (Y/n) as she sat on the floor, one hand on the sink and both legs curled beneath her. Pushing off the door frame, Eddie crouched down in front of her, his hands clasped between his thighs and when he rose a brow, it was a silent demand telling her not to lie to him.
"My ankle twisted." Her eyes glanced down to her ankle that had given way on her a few minutes ago.
The soft "Let me see," that passed Eddie's lips made adrenaline pool in (Y/n)'s stomach and she shivered when his hands were on her leg. Gently stretching her leg out towards him as he pressed on her ankle. It was starting to swell around her heel and up the back of her ankle.
"That sprain just got worse. You need to see a doctor."
(Y/n) shook her head, trying to smile but she couldn't manage it. She didn't want to go to the doctor. "No, baby I'm fine… help me up?"
"No, that's not fine. Did you hurt yourself when you fell? Your stomach?"
(Y/n) shivered when Eddie's hands switched to reach out for her stomach and she gently cupped his wrist, moving his hand around to feel the side of her bump where a sudden kicking tore at her abdomen.
"I don't think so," (Y/n) looped her arms around Eddie's neck, feeling relieved when his hands cupped her hips and he took the hint. He slowly pushed up to his feet and helped her up, but his lips pursed into a frown when he watched (Y/n) lean her weight onto her right foot. She barely pressed her toes down on the floor on her left foot, clearly it was hurting her.
"I'll take you to the doctor tomorrow before work."
"Baby-"
"No chances and no risks this time, remember?" Eddie wasn't risking this fall leafing to something worse. They had no idea what happened last time to cause the placental abruption (Y/n) had with Lilah. It could have been something or nothing.
But Eddie knew a fall was a risk of causing an abruption and he didn't want that happening. That would cause more problems and limit (Y/n) like last time, she would have to take things even easier and maybe be on bed rest. Eddie wouldn't take any risks this time around.
Once they'd taken Chris to school and Lilah to nursery, he would take (Y/n) to the doctor to check her ankle and make sure the baby was okay.
(Y/n) bit her lip but she nodded in agreement, letting Eddie steal a kiss from her. But she gasped when his hands raked down her sides and cupped the back of her thighs. He gripped firmly, digging his fingers into her flesh and hoisted her up as if she weighed nothing. Her legs looped around his torso and she let him turn and carry her out the bathroom, towards the bedroom.
"Let's not make that ankle any worse, hm?"
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Cheating Death Part 4 - End
Part 1, Part 2, and Part 3
Epilogue
Finally, after weeks under intensive medical care, she was cleared to go home. Her recovery was far from over. Lena didn't look forward to the intense physical and occupational therapy in store, but at least she could rest in a more comfortable space. Have a bit more freedom.
Alex had insisted on taking her home, though Kara had walked with them until she received a Supergirl call. Lena understood now why Kara randomly took off, and with that understanding came a slow acceptance.
The door swung open at the press of her thumb against the keypad. Alex pushed her wheelchair, and shut the door with her foot behind them. They made it almost to the sofa when the shouts erupted around them.
"Surprise!"
Lena nearly fell out of her chair at the sudden noise. People leaped out from behind the sofa, tumbled out of the kitchen, and poured in from the hallway. They were all there: Kara, Brainy, Nia, J'onn, Kelly, and even Sam and Ruby.
"Welcome home!" Alex said with a grin, meaning she was in on this too.
Lena had no idea what to make of this. She'd never had a surprise... anything before in her life. "Um, thanks?"
Ruby nearly bounded into Lena's lap with her fervent hug. "I'm so glad you're home! We were so worried when we found out." She pulled back with a teary smile. "You gotta stop almost dying on us. Because we need you here, you're family, and Mom and I sort of just got here today, so all I have is this card." She handed it over and put her hands behind her back.
Lena opened it to the words, "We love you. Please try not to die again. Or we'll drag your sorry ass back to the world of the living." The asterisk after 'ass' had a note at the bottom that read, "Ruby was allowed this one curseword in honor of you."
Lena smiled and ran her fingers over the handwriting, some of it Ruby's and some Sam. Why they bothered, she didn't know, considering how she'd ghosted them. She took a deep breath to try to stop the urge to cry. "Thank you, Ruby. I love you both too."
Sam walked up behind her daughter and smiled, her eyes glistening. "Kid has a point." She leaned forward and gave her a half hug, planting a kiss on the side of her head. "I'm glad to see you up. We've been so worried."
She handed Lena what looked like a phone at first glance, until she saw the hinge. Opening it revealed a note that read: "Answer your phone! <3 xxxoo Sam." Under it was one of her guilty pleasures, a very specific hard candy only sold in Ireland.
"Sam..." Lena didn't know what to say. She wiped away tears, frustrated with herself. Since her near death and disablement, she'd become a weepy fool. "Thank you. I'll be better about staying in touch. I promise."
As the others moved forward, one at a time to greet her and welcome her home, Lena found herself smiling and dissolving into tears yet again. She wasn't used to this much care, and it still felt unreal. Like the shoe could drop at any moment, and yet it didn't.
Alex had continued to care for her, Kara and the others had continued to visit, and now that Lena was cleared to rest at home? Here they all were being the sappiest people she'd ever met.
"Make sure you kiss your beefcake," Nia whispered as she dropped a box of chocolates on Lena's lap. "She set this up, and I kind of have money on the line, so give a girl some help?"
Lena laughed, but she couldn't stop herself from sneaking a look at Kara who stood, swaying back and forth on her heels, as she waited impatiently. "Sure, Nia."
Alex gave her a backpack of all things. "Hey, don't give me that look," the director said with a cluck of her tongue. "Think of all the science-y things you can stuff in this thing and loop onto your wheelchair. Nothing will stop you now."
She lightly swatted Alex's arm. "Maybe if I was five, but really, thank you." At least the bag was black, so it matched the chair's coloration.
Kelly's gift was perhaps the most useful. A tool to grab things from afar. Lena immediately snapped it in Alex's direction, who danced out of reach with a scowl. "It's perfect," she said with a grin.
"I know you have a long recovery in store," Brainy said with a bow of his head. "But I will give you access to my favorite..." he glanced at Nia, "... toys as Nia calls them." He held out a small, palm-sized square. "Press your thumb and a holographic interface, encrypted for our communication and projects, will appear."
Lena couldn't resist. She pressed her thumb, and the interface swirled around her, filled with all sorts of delicious programs. "Holy shit, Brainy. Thank you. This is a delight." She pressed her thumb again, and it vanished.
J'onn stepped forward and bowed his head. "I wish to apologize for my actions in not bringing you in sooner. You've always been one of the best of us, and so I offer you the aid of my community. We have had many soldiers wounded in battle, and I will gladly aid in your recovery. So that you may find the mobility that fits your needs."
Lena studied the stoic man and thought back to something Kara had said to her. "You're a good swordfighter?" When he nodded, she smiled. "I was nearly an Olympic fencer. That's my goal. To recover enough to challenge you to a duel."
He bowed to her. "I accept."
Kara came last, of course. "Hey you." She knelt and wrapped Lena in a tight hug. Lena leaned her head against Kara's shoulder and breathed in her usual vanilla scent.
The pain hadn't full healed between them, but they were taking little steps. And with each one, Lena settled into the reality that Kara wasn't some omnipotent do-no-wrong-god, but a trauma-filled, messy alien who feared loss almost as much as Lena did.
That's one thing the past few weeks in Alex's medical ward taught her: perfection didn't exist, and that's okay. It was okay to be imperfect. She'd still be loved for who she was, even despite her sometimes bratty, petty nature.
Kara pulled back and kissed Lena's forehead. "I made this." She handed her a cylinder with lines and dots on all sides. "It's a puzzle box like what my father made. Give you something to do as you heal."
"Kara," she leaned her head against Kara's shoulder. "God, I love you so much," she whispered. "Thank you."
"I love you too." Kara carded her fingers through her hair. Lena gladly took the brief moment to recalibrate herself for more people interaction. Alex's words hovered in her head, "I need you to recognize your limits."
She took stock of her pain, her emotional bandwidth, and decided she could handle an hour. Then she'll ask to go to the bedroom. Plan in place, she pulled back from Kara with a smile.
She blinked away her tears. "Thanks to all of you. Now, I'd like to sit down on the sofa, if you don't mind?"
Kara chuckled and gently scooped Lena into a bridal carry. Her face flushed, likely as pink as her own. "As you wish, milady."
Alex groaned at that while Nia cackled.
Settled on the sofa, Lena leaned back into the cushions in relief. Fatigue plagued her still, and the pain simmered despite the pain meds. Still, she was much improved than a week ago. This ordeal had taught her that even small steps were worthy victories.
"So you ready for cake? Because all welcome home parties need cake." Kara practically hopped from foot to foot.
"Sure, Supergirl," Lena drawled. "Better fly me the best."
"Oh, you betcha. Straight from Belgium." Kara sounded quite proud of herself.
"Kara..." Alex pressed her palm against her face.
"Supergirl?" Sam echoed, her eyebrows raised.
"Wait a second," Kelly looked around, surprised. "Kara is Supergirl???"
Well, it was nice to know she wasn't the last one told after all.
***
Six months later
Lena gripped the bars, most of her weight on her arms. Her legs trembled beneath her, her right foot turned slightly to the left. Kara stood at the other end of the torture session with a grin. "Come on, Lena, you can do this."
"Oh shut up." Lena growled, but there was no heat in her words, only a deep affection. She carefully took a step, and her leg held. A tingling sizzled up her leg muscles, but she didn't crumple. Slowly, she lifted and plopped her other foot down. That one proved weaker than the other, so she leaned into the bars more.
"Remember to breathe." Her physical therapist stood behind her ready to catch if she fell.
She took a deep breath and managed another step. The rhythm of walking felt strange, like a foreign language she'd forgotten after months of using a wheelchair.
Since the attack, she'd kept a low profile. Sam returned as temporary CEO, and Alex proved to be just as protective of her as she was of Kara. Nia's article of the attack won the public's favor for Lena, which had been a nice, short boost for L-Corp.
So she slowly made her way down the bars, each step mores stable than the last. Her muscles screamed at the effort, but she pushed forward, determined.
Kara, as always, lived up to her promise and stayed at her side. Assisted her lab work. Accepted with grace the occasional microscope she threw at her head. Since becoming an independent writer and science consultant, Kara spent more and more time at her penthouse, and it had started to fill up with knickknacks, paintings by Kara, Kara's clothes randomly strewn over chairs, and a kitchen full of enough food for a hungry Kryptonian.
Lena knew she wasn't always the best partner. Sometimes Kara and her fought bitterly, but they'd learned to come together and talk it out. To share space for one another's feelings. To tentatively explore what being together really looked like.
All a step at a time.
Her trek reached the end of the bars, and there Kara stood, her arms out stretched.
"You did it! I told you so," Kara said with a delighted laugh.
Lena leaned forward and let herself fall into Kara's embrace. She looked up and smiled at her lovable dork. "I suppose I owe you that ice cream, my love," she said, wryly.
Kara nodded and brushed her nose against Lena's. "You sure do."
Lena placed her hand on Kara's cheek and kissed her lips. As she pulled back, she smiled at the goofy dazed expression Kara always wore when Lena sneaked a kiss.
"I'll make it two, for being such a good motivator." Behind her the physical therapist cleared her throat. Lena chuckled and for the first time in her life, she actually felt happy.
She'd cheated death yet again and won a girlfriend from it. Quite the bargain when all was said and done.
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saltnsugarbear · 2 days
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you're the only one who makes me- every time we- (18+)
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summary: just some foundational building for this au (headcanons)
title from: "Wildflower" by 5 Seconds of Summer
word count: 1.4k
content warnings: MDNI!!! talks of cam work, allusions to a break-in, casual affection between friends, allusions to sexual fantasies
side note: everyone go kiss aw-live for giving me more filthy ideas on this au <3
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- I think we've decided Lip hosts his cam streams in the top floor of the Alibi Room (we being me and Olive)
- it's simply the place where he would have the most privacy and Veronica would probably be chill about it and be like get your bag (she ran cam shows??? so she's like fuck yeah okay king)
- I've just remembered she did cam shows, hell yeah actually she's like get your bag king here are some tips and shit.
- V probably helps set him up with a nice camera, gives him a set of keys to get into the bar and upstairs, helps him spruce the place up, make it look nice for the streams
- this takes place during when he works at Patsy's, and is 100% diverging from canon
- I don't think he's entirely obnoxious about how attractive he is but he has some sort of inkling? like he's the smallest bit cocky about his appearance around his partners just because they're kind of like,,,, they short circuit sometimes
- so he has the idea that he's attractive enough so he's like fuck it why not try?
- and I mean he's got a mouth on him so he can definitely say some shit that'll get people hot and bothered
- so he figures doing cam shows is worth a shot and will help bring in some money on the side
- you work at Patsy's Pies as a waiter, dressed in the white tank top and shorts that have become your uniforms
- you're one of Fiona's most trusted and therefore are very close with her
- one day Fi asks you to go out but day of she asks if you can swing by her place, asking you to bring an item of clothing with you because she has the perfect outfit planned
- so you take the L to the nearest station to her and make it to her house in no time
- you're a little surprised the Gallaghers have an unlocked door policy given they live in Southside Chicago but oh well, Fiona assures you they're prepped for anything (she even shows you The Bat)
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"It's unlocked!!" You hear from behind the door. The voice sounds much farther than just a door between the both of you. True to the statement, the door gives way when you turn the doorknob.
The mudroom your greeted with is cramped, boots and shoes littering the floor and coats crammed onto different hooks.
"Kitchen!" You can hear Fiona's voice clearer now. You duck out of the mudroom, taking in the cluttered living room that leads to the dining room.
Fiona pops her head out from the doorframe and gives you a bright smile. "You made it!"
"I said I would, didn't I?" You adjust the strap of your bag on your shoulder. Fiona shrugs as you walk into the kitchen. Her hair is up, and she's got a steaming mug in her hands.
"You brought it, right?" Her eyes are bright as she looks at you. You nod, opening the bag to pull out the corseted top she asked you to bring. It was something you had been gifted and never planned on wearing yourself, so you offered it to Fiona happily.
Her eyes light up when she sees it. Fiona sets her mug down before she walks over to you, taking the top out of your hands. You watch as she fingers the material, taking it in.
"Thank you," Fiona is quick to wrap her arms around your shoulders, bringing you into a fierce hug.
"'S no problem." You tell her, squeezing her tight before she let's go.
"Gonna go change, and then we can get ready together!" Fiona gives you a soft kiss to your cheek as she departs. You've become used to Fiona's casual affections, watching how she gave the same affection to her siblings in the restaurant. "Help yourself to some coffee."
You watch as Fiona goes up the stairs, disappearing behind the wall. You listen to her walking upstairs before you set your bag on the counter and search for a mug.
The sound of footsteps on the stairs comes sooner than you anticipated Fiona would be.
"Hey Fi," You call over your shoulder. "Where uh- where do you keep the clean mugs?"
The footsteps stop short, and you turn around to look at Fiona. "Left cabinet."
It is not Fiona who speaks, and you think you might break your neck with how quickly you finish your turn. Lip stands on the third step.
Shirtless.
The sight makes your brain pause. Your eyes widen slightly, taking in every detail you can process. What jumps out at you the most is the outline of a triangle on his left pec.
"I- Um-" You're struggling to find any words.
"Sorry, didn't think anyone else would be here other than Fiona." Lip takes the last few steps down and walks to the laundry basket on top of the washing machine. Your eyes follow him as he crosses the room and grabs the first shirt he can get his hands on.
You watch silently as his muscles move when he lifts the shirt over his head. You quickly avert your gaze when he tugs it over his chest.
"Which, uh- which cabinet did you say?" The image of the ink triangle has thoroughly derailed any thoughts you might have had.
"Far left." Lip's voice is curt.
You make your way to the counter, leaning against it to open the far left cabinet door. True to his word, there sit mix-matched coffee mugs.
"Pass me one?" Lip's voice is closer and you can feel his shoulder against yours as you grab the first mug. You softly place the first mug on the counter, exchanging it to your other hand to pass it to Lip. His fingers are warm where they graze over yours when he takes the cup. You're quick to grab your own, turning to push yourself against the counter behind you.
After he's filled the first mug, he passes it to you on the counter and holds his hand out for the empty when you've got grasped between both your hands. You're almost too quick to pass him the mug, nearly pushing it into his hands.
You take the first one, bringing it close to your chest. Being this close to Lip makes your brain go blank like an etch-a-sketch.
"Cream, sugar?" Lip asks as he places the pot back against the machine.
"Uh, both." You say, setting your cup on the counter.
Lip nods as he opens the fridge, grabbing the gallon of milk from the fridge.
"Sugar's behind you.." Lip mutters coming up beside you and reaching around you. You can't help but freeze, holding your breath until Lip is out of your space.
He grabs two spoons from the drying rack on one side of the sink, offering you one of them.
You take it from his hand, your fingertips brushing against his knuckles
You can feel his eyes on you as you start taking spoonfuls out of the container. The huff he lets out through his nose makes you glance at him, watching as he rubs softly at the knick on his cheek.
"Make your coffee.." You mutter, bumping your shoulder into his.
Lip huffs, turning back to his cup. He takes the sugar from your hand, trading you the milk for it.
As you mix the milk and sugar into your coffee, you can't help but zone out.
The inked triangle you saw on Lip's chest makes an appearance in you fantasies that night. And the few nights after that, when you try to get yourself off.
Of course, such a simple thing was to haunt your mind.
It was Lip Gallagher, after all.
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- Lip is not the soft and sweet camboy no no
- he is the mean, condescending camboy
- the camboy who talks you through it, degrades you while fucking himself into his own fleshlight in his hand
- the camboy who teases you and coaxes you and says if you cum before he tells you to he won't let you cum again for a week
- safe to say he builds quite the desperate fan base. men, women, and people alike clock in to watch his streams, showering him in tips easily, giving him enough money in one stream to pay rent
- sometimes he's an extra tease on stream, using his third one for the week to just talk you through it, not even thinking about his own pleasure as he coaxes you through your own release
- that's all for now
- gotta wait for the big show for more thoughts!!!
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thoughtsonkm · 2 days
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Goodbye, for now
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BABY? HONEY? BOYFRIEND SHOT? Jikook you're too much!
This episode was truly the best way to end the show, maybe even the best episode of the series. (Neck in neck with episode 2 of course) The way they enjoyed it so much but were also so sad it was over. The hot tension all around, the soft boyfriends mood who can't stop flirting and name calling each other with the most low-key couple-like sweet names. They could not stop laughing, they could not stop touching and they couldn't stop being hilarious without even trying.
~
SK Spotify daily chart end of November 2023 :
Jimin Jungkook Jimin Jungkook Jimin Jimin
~
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It would be such a full circle moment if Jimin posted the boyfriend photo (which won't happen). Would almost be like a soft launch of some sort.
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Not the underwear too?? Gosh I love my little gay freaks!! (didn't understand why Jimin would quote their 'yet another inner joke meme' right at that moment but I've learned to not question their inner workings)
~
Sorry but i have to be pretty one last time and say that I kinda had enough of seeing so much from the crew around or even in Jikook's shots and angles. It breaks the fourth wall a little too much and ruins the whole bubble idea. Ok I'm done lol
~
Returning to the issue at hand, the "seeing the beds for the first time" scene keeps getting funnier and funnier. As if they don't already have designated sides of the bed 😏
~
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Ah the never ending bickering gives me life. Peep the half korean half english talk when they playfully get on each others nerves 👀😂
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I better not speak on the scuzzi jacuzzi shenanigans cause otherwise.. Let's just say the photo speaks for itself..
NO YOU KNOW WHAT IMMA SPEAK. We all know that jacuzzi time is always intimate, relaxing and personal for people that's why I wish Jikook had enjoyed it fully without cameras. Yes I'm pissed on their behalf, that they had to film the whole thing with 382929 different angles. lol
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His face is literally saying "oh so you're really gonna make me do it huh? if I was in your place I would've folded immediately and would've never let you go through with it!!" 😂
~
No one ever:
Jikook every 2sec : HONEY OH HONEY
(I was actually listening to the song while writing this and idk why it's so funny to me even tho it's a sad love ballad)
~
They must've loved getting the chance to at least see one episode of the show, plus the idea of watching it together..
Jungkook being so entertained by it meanwhile Jimin being mortified about half of the things that happened. HILARIOUS
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HAHAHHAHAHA all parties were concerned if they'd be able to pull it off, I can't
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BEST BELIEVE they're always gonna find a way to touch. Consciously or unconsciously.
~
This show made me realize that my favourite thing ever is Jk making food for Jimin, then making him hysterically laugh and therefore getting to hear Jimin's adorable giggles.
~
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"Hello it is I the one and only, the only one who can touch Jimin's head ble ble ble ble" - JK
Jk was like: How can you imagine Jimin without me in your dream? Are you crazy? What is this delusional dream world you live in Jin hyung??
~
Tbh it's so meaningful and a huge thing saying that these trips were literally the best trips of your life. I think the statement almost went over people's heads.
I can't get enough of Jimin looking pretty and cuddly and Jungkook's immediate thought being: I HAVE TO FILM YOU
Them saying they can do a reboot when they come back gave me some hope that maybe just maybe this is not the end of AYS 😭
The ending bonus clip left me fulfilled but also sad and with goosebumps all over.
Thank you Jimin & Jungkook for letting us peek into this trip and getting to witness some of your precious moments.
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Signing off, J&J 🥹
Ps. So I'm guessing the 52 minute video that comes with the photobook is probably the 3 bts videos combined that they've been reviewing for 48392 months right?
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ssa-dado · 3 days
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3 - A Philosopher and a Lawyer walk into a Cafè
Aaron Hotchner's x bau!fem!reader
Genre: fluff, sapiosexual fluff
Summary: You and Hotch's playful rivalry deepens as you bring him a coffee, sparking witty banter and an unspoken connection. You work together on a complex case involving philosophical murders, impressing each other with your insights. Amid teasing about a fictional romance between Rossi and Gideon, you and Hotch’s bond strengthens, both appreciating the natural rhythm of working together while unknowingly being quietly supported by your mentors. Warnings: Usual graphic CM kind of case, Reader being a Prehistoric Reid, Gissi being so strong they even named a town for them.
Word Count: 4.8k words
Dado's Corner: Thesis, Antithesis, Synthesis. Mark my words, they could be helpful in the long run. We might get close to the second stage sooner than you think.
previous part: Early birds
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It was another early morning at the BAU, and you found yourself in the local coffee shop just around the corner from the office. The morning chill clung to your coat as you stepped inside, the familiar hum of the espresso machine and the comforting aroma of fresh coffee filling the air.
You you were eager to finally being able to order your usual - a double espresso - as you found yourself already savouring the taste and smell of it, especially after all those days of being forced to drink the burnt coffee they provided at work. On a whim, decided to grab something for Hotch as well.
He had been beating you to the office every day, and despite your friendly rivalry, you knew the coffee at work was terrible. You imagined Hotch downing that bitter, overbrewed mess every morning, and the thought made you grimace.
"One black coffee, no sugar," you told the barista, after all, Hotch seemed like the kind of man who appreciated perfectly crafted simplicity.
Arriving at the office, you made your way to the bullpen, feeling a small thrill of satisfaction at the thought of catching Hotch off guard. As expected, there he was, already at his desk, his navy suit perfectly pressed, tie in place, and eyes glued to his case file. You couldn't help but roll your eyes, both annoyed and impressed by his consistency.
Hotch glanced up as you approached, a faint look of surprise crossing his features when he noticed the second coffee cup in your hand.
“Morning,” you said casually, setting the coffee on his desk. “Thought you might appreciate something better than the sludge they serve here.”
Hotch looked down at the cup, a hint of gratitude flickering in his eyes before he masked it with his usual composed expression. “Thank you. I’ve been meaning to bring my own, but, well, you know how it is.” He picked up the cup, taking a sip and letting out a satisfied sigh.
He leaned back in his chair, his gaze meeting yours with a wry smile. “So, what’s the excuse this time? You figured you’d never make it here before me, so you’re hedging your bets by blaming your tardiness on stopping for coffee?”
You laughed, shaking your head. “Actually, I thought you might need a little recognition for all your hard work. I didn’t think you’d still be going along with this whole rivalry.” You gave him a teasing look, knowing full well that he thrived on the unspoken challenge between you.
Hotch’s smirk softened, his eyes briefly betraying how much he appreciated the gesture. “Well, it’s not every day someone bothers to get me a decent cup of coffee, but you don’t have to go out of your way. Even if I’m not complaining.” He took another sip, savoring the taste that was far superior to the bitter brew he usually endured.
You shrugged, leaning against the edge of his desk. “Consider it my one good deed for the day. But don’t think this means I’m letting you win without a fight.”
Hotch nodded, the corners of his mouth twitching up in amusement. “I appreciate the coffee, but now I owe you. I’ll have to get you a properly made coffee sometime, just to keep us even.”
You raised an eyebrow, leaning closer as if conspiring. “Hotch, you owe me more than just one coffee for the stress you’ve caused me with this little game.”
He met your gaze with a mock-serious expression. “Oh, I’m not causing you stress. You’re the one driving yourself crazy trying to keep up.”
You scoffed playfully, unable to deny that he had a point. But Hotch’s eyes softened slightly, and he added, “But you’re right. I do owe you. In fact, I’ll make you a deal: I’ll buy you one coffee for every day I beat you here, until the day you finally arrive earlier than me.”
You couldn’t help but laugh at his offer, shaking your head at the sheer audacity. “You’re such a lawyer, you know that? You’re making a deal that actually only benefits you. What’s stopping me from showing up later on purpose just to drain your wallet?”
Hotch’s smirk widened, and he gave a nonchalant shrug. “Maybe that’s the idea. Give you a bigger distraction, make you think about something other than beating me. It works out well for me in the long run.”
You couldn’t help but admire the cleverness of his plan, realizing that if you fell for it, you’d be distracted by the rewards rather than the competition itself. “Wow. I’ve got to hand it to you, Hotch. In the long run, I’d end up showing up later and later, making it even easier for you. Impressive.”
Hotch raised his cup in mock toast, clearly pleased that you saw right through his scheme. “I’m surprised you caught on. I was hoping to pull one over on you for a while longer.”
You leaned back, crossing your arms with a triumphant smile. “You have no idea how good I am at outsmarting lawyers who think they can outsmart me first.”
Hotch chuckled, shaking his head in genuine amusement. “Touché.”
“Deal’s still on, though,” you said, holding out your hand as if to seal it formally. “But don’t think for a second I’m going to change my routine just because you’re bribing me with coffee.”
Hotch took your hand, his grip firm and warm. “Of course not.”
But today, something else was on Hotch’s mind. As you settled in, you noticed Hotch was already deeply absorbed in a case file, the intensity of his focus suggesting he was waiting for something, or someone.
Hotch flipped open the file in front of him, his eyes scanning the pages with a keen intensity. As he read through the details, a faint smile tugged at the corner of his mouth. This case was unlike most he’d worked on recently: it was layered with philosophical references, obscure quotes, and an unsub whose modus operandi seemed to be influenced by complex philosophical ideologies. He knew exactly who would be perfect to consult on this, but rather than asking for help directly, he had something else in mind.
With a subtle shift, Hotch angled the file just enough to leave the corner of a page visible from your desk. It was a deliberate move, calculated to catch your attention. If he knew you - and by now, he did - you wouldn’t be able to resist taking a peek.
He didn’t have to wait long. You settled into your chair and immediately noticed the stray page peeking out from Hotch’s desk. The faint, familiar names and terms you could make out - “Nietzsche,” “existential morality,” “nihilism” - caught your eye. You tried to concentrate on your own files, but curiosity got the better of you. Your gaze kept drifting back to that page.
Simulating a casual stretch, you leaned forward, pretending to adjust something on your desk while sneaking a better look at Hotch’s case. The notes detailed a series of murders where the unsub left behind cryptic quotes from philosophers, each one linked to the specific way the victims were killed. It was more than just a pattern; it was a philosophical puzzle, woven into every aspect of the crime scenes.
You couldn’t suppress the gasp that escaped your lips as the pieces clicked in your mind. “Oh my God,” you muttered, momentarily forgetting where you were.
Hotch glanced up, hiding his satisfaction at your reaction. He had set the bait perfectly, and you had walked right into it. The moment was even more rewarding for him, especially considering your previous bragging about being great at "outsmarting lawyers who think they can outsmart me first", only to now prove that you were, in fact, a little more ordinary than you'd let on. “Something on your mind, Y/N?”
You blinked, realizing you’d been caught. “I- uh, sorry. I couldn’t help but notice... are those quotes from Nietzsche? And Kierkegaard?” You pointed vaguely in the direction of his file, trying not to sound too eager.
Hotch leaned back in his chair, pretending to consider your question. “It seems that way. The unsub is leaving these quotes at the scenes, but the exact reasoning behind his selections is still unclear.”
You moved closer, unable to resist the lure of the philosophical elements woven into the case. “He’s not just picking these at random,” you said, your mind already racing with theories. “Look at this, Nietzsche’s ‘Beyond Good and Evil’ is quoted here, right next to how the victim was killed. He’s making a statement about morality, or the lack of it, in a deeply personal way.”
Hotch nodded, observing the way you immersed yourself in the details. “Go on,” he prompted, genuinely intrigued by your insights.
You flipped through the pages, your fingers tracing the notes. “Nietzsche challenges conventional morality, especially the binary of good and evil. The unsub seems to be echoing that: he’s positioning himself as someone who operates outside the realm of typical moral standards. Each murder isn’t just a killing; it’s a message that he’s transcended normal ethical constraints.”
Hotch watched you intently, his brow furrowing as he processed your explanation. “So he’s justifying his actions through philosophy? Twisting these ideas to fit his narrative?”
You nodded, flipping to another page with a different quote: “He who fights with monsters should be careful lest he thereby become a monster.” You pointed at the crime scene photo beside it. “This victim was restrained, but not in the usual way. It’s almost as if he’s trying to make a point about the nature of becoming what we despise. He’s projecting his internal struggle onto his victims.”
Hotch’s eyes darkened as he absorbed your analysis. “He sees himself as above society’s rules, above good and evil.”
“Exactly,” you replied. “This isn’t just about murder. It’s about the philosophical struggle of defining oneself beyond societal constraints. The unsub doesn’t see himself as evil; he sees himself as someone exploring the limits of human morality.”
Hotch leaned back, clearly impressed. “And what about this one?” He pointed to another crime scene photo. A quote from Kierkegaard was scrawled near the body: “Anxiety is the dizziness of freedom.”
You stared at the quote, considering the implications. “Kierkegaard speaks about existential dread and the overwhelming responsibility of true freedom. By leaving this quote, the unsub is hinting at his own struggle with the concept of freedom, how it can be paralyzing, even deadly. His victims aren’t just casualties; they’re expressions of his own inner turmoil about freedom and choice.”
Hotch glanced at you, his expression thoughtful. “So he’s not just a killer, he’s using these murders to explore and express his own philosophical beliefs.”
“Right,” you said, feeling the thrill of the chase. “He’s trying to elevate his crimes to a form of existential art. Each murder is his way of grappling with these big ideas, like a twisted performance meant to provoke thought.”
Hotch studied you, clearly impressed. He’d expected insights, but your depth of understanding went beyond his expectations. “This angle is exactly what we need to get inside his head,” he said quietly.
You smiled, feeling both flattered and invigorated. “I can help. I mean, if you want me to. I’ve studied these philosophies for years: existentialism, nihilism, all of it. I think I can figure out what he’s trying to communicate and why he’s doing it this way.”
Hotch allowed himself another rare smile. “I was hoping you’d say that.”
You couldn’t help but laugh, shaking your head. “So this was your idea all along? You knew I’d snoop.”
Hotch shrugged, looking far too pleased with himself. “I had a hunch. And I thought you might enjoy this one.”
The two of you spent the rest of the morning poring over the crime scene photos and quotes, dissecting the unsub’s motivations in a way that felt less like work and more like an intense intellectual duel. At one point, Hotch leaned in, pointing at a particular quote scrawled in blood at one of the scenes: “One must still have chaos in oneself to be able to give birth to a dancing star.”
“He’s obsessed with the idea of chaos and creation,” Hotch said thoughtfully. “He’s not just killing, he’s trying to create something.”
You nodded, your mind racing. “Nietzsche believed that from chaos comes creation: an artist’s need to disrupt the ordinary to bring something extraordinary into existence. The unsub sees himself as a kind of artist, but his canvas is human life. He’s trying to provoke a reaction, make a statement that only he believes in.”
Hotch’s gaze was sharp, but you could see the respect in his eyes. “He’s creating his own twisted masterpiece.”
“Exactly,” you said. “He’s redefining morality in his own terms, using his victims to express his philosophical journey.”
The hours flew by as you and Hotch continued to unravel the unsub’s mindset, bouncing theories off each other with a rhythm that felt natural. You had found a way to speak the same language, not just of profiling but of the deeper, darker corners of human thought.
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As the day wore on, the bullpen filled with the sounds of the rest of the team returning from their work. Rossi passed by your desks, noticing the two of you deeply engaged in discussion.
“Looks like you’ve finally found your match, Hotch,” Rossi said with a smirk. “She’s giving you a run for your money.”
Hotch didn’t look up from the file, but you could see the faintest hint of a smile on his face. “She’s good,” he said simply, but the pride in his voice was unmistakable.
Rossi raised an eyebrow at you, clearly impressed. “Well, don’t let him work you too hard. And Hotch, try not to steal all her ideas.”
You both laughed, knowing that this case had brought you closer as partners, not just colleagues. The connection between you and Hotch had deepened; it wasn’t just about early mornings or the rivalry anymore. It was about understanding each other on a level that few could reach.
“Thanks, Hotch. For letting me dive into this.” You smiled at him as you packed up for the day.
He nodded, his gaze lingering on you for just a moment longer than usual. “I didn’t just let you help. I needed you on this one.”
As you left the office together, the day’s work behind you, you felt the connection you’d built still very much alive. You were learning, growing, and with Hotch by your side, you felt like you could take on anything. And as you drove home that night, you couldn’t help but think that maybe, just maybe, Hotch felt the same way.
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The next morning, you walked into the office with a heavy sigh. The thrill of unofficially working with Hotch on a complex case filled with philosophical nuances had left you buzzing with excitement the night before, but today was a completely different story.
You knew what awaited you: a mountain of paperwork that had absolutely nothing to do with profiling or unraveling the twisted minds of criminals. Instead, it was the mundane side of the job: filing reports, cross-referencing witness statements, and all the bureaucratic tedium that no one warned you about when you signed up to chase unsubs.
As you approached your desk, your mood dipped even further. Sitting squarely in the center was a towering stack of files, the sight of which nearly made you sick. You let out a groan, dropping your bag on the floor and staring at the pile as if you could will it away with sheer force of will.
“Really?” you muttered to yourself, mentally preparing for a long and grueling morning. But as you reached for the first file, something odd caught your eye. The top sheet had been filled out, every line neatly completed in precise handwriting. You frowned, flipping through the next few files only to find the same, each one meticulously filled out, every detail recorded with the same practiced precision. It didn’t take long for you to recognize the writing: slanted slightly to the left, with the occasional sharp flourish, the unmistakable penmanship of a left-handed person.
It was Hotch’s.
Your heart skipped a beat as you rifled through the entire stack, realizing that all the paperwork had been completed. At the bottom of the pile, nestled beneath the last file, was a small note. You picked it up, already smiling as you recognized Hotch’s handwriting.
“Your philosophy degree helped me. Let my prosecutor years be helpful to you.”
You couldn’t suppress the laugh that bubbled up, a mix of relief and gratitude washing over you. He hadn’t just helped you out, he’d done it in a way that perfectly mirrored your new dynamic, a balance of give and take that was starting to feel natural.
You glanced up across your desk, Hotch was of course, engrossed in yet another case file, but you could tell by the way his shoulders were set that he knew exactly what he’d done and was just waiting for you to notice. You grabbed the note, determined to thank him but also to give him a hard time for beating you to the punch once again.
“Hey,” you said. Hotch looked up, and for a moment, the faintest hint of a smile touched his lips. You held up the note, shaking it lightly. “So, when did you decide to moonlight as my personal assistant?”
Hotch leaned back in his chair, his expression carefully neutral, but there was a glint of amusement in his eyes. “You looked like you had enough on your plate after yesterday,” he said simply. “Figured I could put my old skills to use.”
You couldn’t help but laugh. “Hotch, this would’ve taken hours. You really didn’t have to do all of this.”
“I know,” he replied, his tone casual but sincere. “But after all the philosophical guidance you gave me yesterday, I thought I’d return the favor. Call it a mutual exchange of expertise.”
You smiled, feeling warmth spread through you. “Well, thank you. Seriously. This is way above and beyond.”
Hotch nodded, but there was a playful edge to his voice when he spoke next. “Hopefully now you don’t hate lawyers as much.”
“Touché,” you said, grinning. “I guess you’ve proven that some lawyers can be... tolerable.”
Hotch gave a mock look of offense. “Tolerable? I’ll take it.” He paused, then added more seriously, “It’s not about winning, you know. At least, not in this line of work. It’s about finding the truth, even if it means doing the boring parts.”
“Yeah, I’m starting to see that” you admitted, still holding the note between your fingers. “Thanks for reminding me.”
You looked over the stack of completed reports, still impressed by how thorough Hotch had been. “Some of this paperwork was from cases I wrapped up a week ago. How did you know all the details? Did you just magically know what to write?”
Hotch leaned back in his chair, a subtle smirk playing on his lips. “What, you think you’re the only one entitled to snoop around your coworkers’ files?!”
You raised an eyebrow, feigning offense. “So you’ve been snooping on me? I thought that was my job.”
Hotch’s smirk widened, and he shrugged casually. “I learned from the best. You think I haven’t noticed you trying to catch a glimpse of my cases all this time?”
You couldn’t suppress the laugh that bubbled up. “I guess that makes us even.”
“Not quite,” he quipped, his tone teasing but his expression still composed. “I’m just better at not getting caught.”
You rolled your eyes, leaning against the edge of his desk. “Guess I’ll have to up my game then.”
Hotch chuckled, a rare and genuine sound that caught you by surprise. “Good luck with that. But seriously, I figured I’d save you some time. I know how much you the paperwork side of this job isn’t the most entertaining one.”
You nodded, appreciating the gesture more than you could express. “Well, I have to admit, you did a pretty good job... for a snooper.”
“Better than tolerable?” he asked, raising an eyebrow, clearly amused by your earlier choice of words.
“Don’t push it,” you shot back with a grin. “But I’ll give you this: you’re pretty good at reading between the lines, even when it’s not a case file.”
Hotch nodded, his expression softening. “It’s all part of the job. And hey, if you ever need help with the paperwork again, just let me know. I don’t mind putting those old lawyer skills to use, once in a while.”
“Deal,” you said, pushing off his desk and heading back to your own. “But don’t think I’m going to let you get away with this kind of espionage forever.”
Hotch’s eyes sparkled with restrained laughter. “I wouldn’t expect anything less.”
He was already back to work, his usual intensity in place, but he looked up just long enough to catch your eye and give you a brief, almost imperceptible nod.
You nodded back, smiling. “Jokes apart, thank you, Hotch, really.”
“You’re welcome,” he said finally, his voice softer. “And if you ever feel like helping me out with another case like yesterday’s, just let me know.”
You gave him a playful salute. “Deal. But don’t think I won’t call you out when I catch you snooping through my files next time.”
Hotch’s eyes twinkled with restrained laughter. “I wouldn’t expect anything less.”
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Meanwhile Gideon leaned against the doorframe of Rossi’s office, watching his old friend sift through a case file with the kind of focused intensity that had made him a legend in the Bureau. But today, Gideon wasn’t there to discuss a case. He had noticed something recently, an unexpected but welcome development among the team, one that involved you and Hotch.
“Got a minute, Dave?” Gideon asked, his voice carrying a hint of amusement.
Rossi looked up, raising an eyebrow at the unusually cheerful tone. “For you, always. What’s going on?”
Gideon stepped inside, closing the door behind him. He glanced briefly through the blinds, catching sight of you and Hotch at your desks, deep in your usual quiet exchanges. “I’ve been watching Y/N and Hotch,” he began, leaning casually against the desk. “I have to say, I’m impressed. She’s only been here a few weeks, but they’ve already got something… special going on.”
Rossi smirked, setting his file down. “You mean the way she’s got him smiling at eight in the morning? Yeah, I’ve noticed. It’s like watching a miracle unfold.”
Gideon chuckled quietly. “I knew she was something special when I first saw her at the academy, but I didn’t expect her to click with Hotch so fast. They’re both pretty guarded, but when they’re working together... it’s like they’re speaking their own language.”
Rossi nodded thoughtfully, following Gideon’s gaze through the blinds. “They’re a good match. She challenges him in ways the rest of us don’t, and he’s bringing out something in her, too. You know, you were right to pair them up on that first case. You planned this, didn’t you?”
Gideon shrugged, a faint smile playing at his lips. “I had a feeling. Hotch needed someone who could challenge his perspective, shake up his routine a little. And she… well, I knew she’d benefit from his discipline, his way of grounding things when they get too abstract. Plus, I figured if they didn’t kill each other, they’d probably make a great team.”
Rossi leaned back, crossing his arms with a knowing grin. “I guess we both had our little plans, didn’t we? You remember that guy who used to sit at the desk in front of Hotch?”
Gideon raised an eyebrow, surprised by the turn of the conversation. “The one who suddenly had that one-in-a-lifetime opportunity to lead an undercover operation? That was you?”
Rossi’s grin widened. “Oh, yeah. He was a really good agent, an excellent one actually, but he was never really a fit for teamwork. I saw an opening and might’ve... nudged him in that direction. You kept going on about Y/N back then, about how her expertise in philosophy would be an asset to the BAU. You even gave me this whole rundown of her personality: sharp, quick-witted, not afraid to push back. I knew right then she’d be perfect for Hotch.”
Gideon laughed, shaking his head. “You sneaky son of a... You were setting this up long before she even started.”
Rossi nodded, a twinkle in his eyes. “You convinced me she’d bring something new, but I could see it wasn’t just about adding a fresh perspective. I saw the potential for something more, a partnership that would push both of them. So yeah, I cleared the way a little. Let’s just say the seating arrangements weren’t accidental.”
Gideon pointed a finger at Rossi, his face alight with amusement. “And you call me sly? You practically orchestrated the whole thing.”
Rossi chuckled. “I just gave them the stage. The rest? That’s all them.”
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Meanwhile, outside Rossi’s office, you spotted the two veteran profilers deep in conversation. You couldn’t help but smirk, seeing the perfect chance to tease Hotch about his painfully awkward first attempt to break the ice with you during your first field case together. An interaction so miserable that neither of you ever brought it up again, especially the bizarre conspiracy theory he tried to use as common ground. But you just couldn’t resist bringing back your old inside joke: the running gag that Rossi and Gideon were secretly an item.
You turned to Hotch, who was diligently working on another file, and without saying a word, you nodded your head in the direction of Rossi’s office. He glanced up, following your line of sight, and immediately caught on. With a slight raise of his eyebrow and a smirk playing on his lips, he leaned back in his chair, pretending to stretch but really angling himself to get a better view through the blinds.
“Can’t believe they’re still trying to keep it under wraps,” you whispered, your tone dripping with mock seriousness. “It’s like they think we’re not onto them.”
Hotch chuckled softly, surprised that you were bringing up that old joke again. He kept his voice low so as not to be overheard. “Clearly discussing anniversary plans. I bet Rossi forgot to book the romantic getaway Gideon’s been hinting at for weeks.”
You bit your lip to stifle a laugh, nodding along. “You’d think after all these years, Rossi would know better. Gideon’s a stickler for anniversaries.”
Hotch’s expression was one of pure mischief. “I swear, if Rossi starts another argument about their anniversary dinner being interrupted by Bureau business, I’m not sure even Gideon can save them this time.”
You shook your head, enjoying the playful back-and-forth. “Maybe that’s why Gideon looks so serious. He’s probably rethinking the whole relationship. Can’t be easy dealing with a partner who’s constantly prioritizing work.”
Hotch’s eyes twinkled with amusement as he added, “Gideon’s probably thinking about counseling, he’d better hope Rossi can handle it. You know how he gets about any ‘psychological mumbo jumbo.’”
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Inside Rossi’s office, Gideon continued, unaware of the playful scrutiny from outside. “So, we’re agreed then? We let them work together more often?”
Rossi nodded, smiling at the thought. “Definitely. They’ll keep each other sharp. Besides, it’s fun watching Hotch get flustered.”
Gideon laughed softly. “It’s not just fun, it’s necessary. I think we’re seeing something good here, Dave. They’ve got the makings of a great partnership.”
Back outside, you and Hotch continued your banter as you watched Rossi and Gideon converse through the glass. You turned to Hotch with a mock serious look. “You know, at this point, I’m half expecting them to make a grand announcement at the next briefing.”
Hotch nodded sagely, playing along. “It’ll be the talk of the office. I’m just waiting for the inevitable joint vacation request.”
You both laughed quietly, and for a moment, it was just you two, lost in the absurdity of your ongoing joke. It was moments like these that made the long hours and high stakes of the job more bearable, and as you glanced over at Hotch, you realized just how much you appreciated these little breaks from reality.
Hotch turned back to his work, but not before giving you one last, knowing smile. “You know, if this keeps up, we might have to start planning their wedding.”
You pretended to think about it, grinning. “Oh, I’ve already got the venue in mind. I’m thinking a quaint little spot in the woods, somewhere private, just the two of them.”
Hotch chuckled, shaking his head. “You’re too good at this.”
“And you’re just as bad,” you shot back playfully.
As you both returned to your respective tasks, the bond between you and Hotch felt stronger than ever.
Little did you know, the very pairing that had sparked your inside joke was also the one that had recognized your potential as a duo, quietly cheering you on.
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mangoisms · 11 months
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WAITTT, I just saw ur reply to my previous comment. I didn't like Tim too (lmao). The debates between Tim and Damian fans can (and do) get so annoying that I just started disliking his character (not the greatest). Reading Red Robin on a whim was when I started to warm up to his character, he was just some weird dude. The sentiment about him being a chew toy...so real, and perfectly captures how I feel about him. He is so cringe-fail to me.
To touch upon Red Robin relationships...I wish I could peek into the writers' brains and conduct experiments to begin to understand what they were trying to accomplish...Tam, then Lynx II? Rekindling moments with Steph, and I always forget the last girl's name... I just never understood why they thought giving him so many love interests was necessary for the plot (he is quite literally spiraling, absolute rock bottom, can not go any lower, and yet forced so many women into his life; were they expecting me not to feel bad for them?). On top of that whole mess, the last few issues were like a fever dream, I can not properly summarize them for the life of me if asked.
On a side note, Circle K has also inspired me to pick back up my reading on Steph. I started in the summer, and the summer session (I completely forgot I signed up for classes?) completely ruined that for me...
Very random but, what are your thoughts on WFA? Everyone on Twitter is fairly convinced it's absolute garbage. I never read it myself, but I see complaints about characterization all the time. It also seems to be a lot of people's introduction to Batman-associated characters and content, so I can understand why people are upset if it truly is inconsistent with canon writing.
Young Justice anon (as always, hope you're doing fine and that school is manageable and well!!)
it’s so interesting that red robin 2009 is what softened you up to him because that run still remains a sour point for me HAHA like he is compelling but he is sooo annoying </3 getting into his origins in a lonely place of dying and then robin 1993 was what slowly got me, though he still actively annoyed me for a lot of it… it’s Weird i know i like him in a silly weird way where he annoys me but. yeah. he is my chew toy ❤️‍🩹
oh absolutely it makes NO sense that he had so many love interests and. Ok rant incoming let me also put this under the cut because this got LONG
the thing that bothers me is that none of it was EVER addressed. for sure it was a questionable decision on the writers’ part but none of them had the thought to maybe address the fact that he was flip-flopping so badly? i consider tam to be the strongest out of all of them (as in the one with the most chances to have been with him) and even tim acknowledges that at some points and YET. he kept having those weird moments with lynx. like obviously he and tam weren’t necessarily in a relationship but There Was Something There and of course while tam remains ‘loyal’ to him, tim just gets to mess around with other people… and then when he needs something he relies on tam’s affection to help him out… and then of course the way their falling out was set up was sooooo obvious and i don’t think certain plot decisions are necessarily Bad when they’re obvious but they were clearly gunning for the usual ‘superhero withholds important information from the civilian love interest and they break up’ and i just feel like There were so many OTHER things they could’ve had a falling out over 😭😭😭😭 like Come on…
okay that got longer than i wanted sorry for the impromptu rant 😭😭😭😭 i just. argh. most of my grievances with it is the treatment of the female characters LOL but it’s honestly par the course for tim, he has a long string of love interests and those relationships have been. interesting. quality aside my favorites are probably tam and ariana, if only because they had So Much Potential. anyway!!!!
STEPHANIE MY BELOVED <3333 once you find the time (and i hope you do so you can rest! good luck with your classes <3) i would HIGHLY recommend batgirl vol 3, it’s her batgirl run and it makes up for all the shit that went on in war games (which i didn’t actually read, well i did read some of it, mostly steph’s parts, which i wouldn’t recommend because it is… heartwrenching) and it’s just SOOOOO good i have SOOO many thoughts on it. one of my favorite runs i’ve ever read!!!
umm i’m kind of in the middle on wfa. i read it when it initially came out and it was pretty neat! i liked the art for one. but i’ve stopped keeping up since then. as an elseworlds comic with no bearing on current canon, it can be fun! and it has some things i would like in canon (like them keeping babs as oracle, when current canon refuses to do so), but thats hmmm probably it? and honestly it’s not totally my taste, if only because characterization can be a bit iffy (there was one moment with jason early on that kind of turned me off a bit because. i’m sorry. He would not say that. but in fairness to wfa we have a lot of that going on around now in current comics! wrt him, dick, tim, etc) and well. i like drama HAHA. i have also seen that it is the ‘easy way’ to get into the bats and yeah, there’s nothing wrong exactly with that being someone’s introduction, but it should be kept in mind that it’s not canon and things aren’t like that at all in current canon at all! but yeah not everyone does that and it does admittedly get kind of annoying 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫
it is kind of funny in that initially wfa wasn’t a true representation of the ‘batfam’ (at the time it was coming out. i think anyway) and more of an ideal glossy one that, well, ignores a lot to get it to that point. but now we seem to be having that go on in current comics, at least with their attempts to try and absolve bruce of his abuse (which i think they are doing in a dumb way that does absolve him of responsibility and agency and thus makes it. well. redundant. because he isn’t owning up to it and it ignores years of him doing it) so it is kind of. equally bad. except that wfa is elseworlds so it honesty can get away with it but uhhh. current comics don’t have an excuse and that’s. well. Hngh. kind of creates double the bad effect but ANYWHO!!!!!!
SO. YEAH. those are my thoughts. many thoughts. so sorry about that i just got carried away 😭 anyway!! good luck with your classes!!! thank you sm i am doing better too ❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹 i hope you’re doing well, take care of yourself!!!!
(also i am gonna go ahead and make a tag for you ^_^ under yj anon … if u have any emoji preferences lmk i was trying to think of something yj-relevant but not sure…)
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disposal-blueeee · 6 months
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doodles
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edgar vargas and squee by johnen vasquez
scriabin by zarla-s
#sunny's art#vargas#edgar vargas#vargas zarla#scriabin vargas#zarla s#scriabin#doodles#YOU THOUGHT YOU'D SEEN THE LAST OF ME . . . . !!!!#well HELLO !!!! I'M BACK !!!!!!!!#got a new brush . what do you think of it do you like it#okay i want to ramble about these wait a second#the first one looks a bit different to the rest because i was just trying new stuff .#if i spend a long time without drawing i'll forget how to draw and well it happened#i've changed my art style like 3 times now but i still draw side profiles the same . looks weird ugh#the mug says “ JESUS loves me BECAUSE no one else will ” btw . meta gave me the idea actually . thanks meta .#about the second one . finished that one like ten minutes ago . missed drawing todd aw#i just find their whole relationship so amusing .#like yes i went crazy for like a month and now i have a brother-husband and a kid ?!#they complement each other so well though . i love them#THE UNO ONE omg i've had that idea for like A YEAR NOW and i just drew it lol#i wonder how long it would take scriabin to notice though .#when i showed this to meta she said : “ oh wow !! edgar's finally winning at something !! ” and it's SO TRUE#wonder how he does it !#and the last one . i got the idea when i was looking through zarla's account searching for fan art .#love it so much though they look like their lives aren't a living hell#anyways i'll probably make more of these . who knows#going back to school on monday . and of course i had to get inspiration four days before going back .#please PLEASE I DON'T WANT TO GET BACK TO SCHOOL . PL#okay byeee enjoy these . eat my starved followers . EAT !!!!!
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angeart · 2 months
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thinking about the boatem circus au and...yeah, i totally forgot that it's implied that the watchers set fire to the circus..............i can't imagine the GUILT grian feels if/when he finds out.........maybe he thinks that he should have just sucked it up and stayed with the watchers because if he had then at least the only one being hurt would be himself, not other lost and vulnerable hybrids........
okay you have nO IDEA how much this made me think of hhau grian actually. for, uh, reasons.
anyway, i think if the boatem circus folk found out, they'd get even more protective over grian. pointing out that it's not his fault; that he's not guilty of this crime, but the people who set those flames, knowingly. that the cruelty doesn't come from grian's hands and it's not his fault that it follows in his footsteps.
grian would still feel guilty, absolutely devastated that scar's wonderful circus burned to the ground because of shadows of grian's past... but i think he couldn't stand the thought of never leaving that awful place. even if it'd prevent this from happening to the others. is it selfish? maybe.
i don't think i should've never left is a thought that he has. but it's not like he wants anyone else to get hurt either! it's complicated!
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the-eclectic-wonderer · 3 months
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A big thanks to @witchybitchybisexual who tagged me in this amazing 30-questions Golden Girls-themed game; I had a *great* time answering these! I look forward to reading everyone's answers (including yours, @witchybitchybisexual!).
I'm hiding all questions after #1 under a cut, because this got long haha!
1. How did you find out about the show?
Via another show I love -- Good Omens! Or, actually, via the amazing book that inspired it. One of the main characters, the demon Crowley, is a big fan of The Golden Girls; there's a great scene in which the forces of hell hijack one of Rose's monologues to send him a message while he's watching the show! I was in need of something new to watch at the time, and I figured if Crowley liked it so much, it was at least worth checking out. :)
2. One storyline you’d eliminate?
Hmm... probably Miles' witness protection program storyline? I don't mind it that much (it gave us some fun jokes and some memorable scenes!), but I feel like that was a turning point in Miles' character, and I just don't like the person he became after that turning point.
There was no question 3 here, so I made up my own! Hope that's not an issue :)
3. Best guest star/character?
Lynnie Greene takes the cake as the best guest star, for sure. I adore her and she played a phenomenal young!Dorothy. The second place goes to Dick Van Dyke, just because I love him in general!
As for the best guest character, I think the honour goes to Angela, Sophia's sister! She's absolutely hilarious and her comedic chemistry with Sophia is stellar. I also have to mention John Neretti from S6E23 What A Difference A Date Makes for being the best man in the series imho.
4. Character you most relate to?
Dorothy! My personality nowadays is a bit of a mix between Dorothy and Rose, I feel, but the Dorothy side is prevalent (and it was even more prevalent a few years back). I love reading and literature (and I enjoy learning about history, although I don't have her passion for it); I share her love for teaching (although I'm not a teacher); I was a great student in school, but not a popular kid at all; I'm level-headed and responsible, but I can be impulsive under the right circumstances; I'm very protective of the people I love; I'm Italian and was brought up a Catholic; I'm often the tallest girl in the room (I'm just a bit shorter than Bea Arthur was!) and I'm not attractive (not that Dorothy isn't -- but she is perceived as unattractive in the show), so I also understand her self-esteem issues fairly well.
I'm not as quick-witted as she is, unfortunately, and nowadays my outlook on life is more positive and easy-going than hers, but she's still the one I relate to the most.
5. Favourite character?
Blanche, although the other Girls are very, very close. I adore them all and I especially love to see them interact, but if I have to pick one, then it's Blanche. She's the one who surprised me the most! At the start of the show I kind of wrote her off as 'the man-crazy one', and that's as far removed from me as possible, so I didn't really focus much on her at the beginning. Then came S1E4 The Transplant, and then came her family issues, and then came all her memories of George, and before I knew it I was head-over-heels in love with her. Rue was masterful in how subtly she played her; she showed Blanche's depth as a character little by little, letting the audience peek behind the mask only for moments at a time, so when I realized I hadn't given her the attention she deserved, I was already in too deep.
6. Favourite story of a cast member?
Oh, so many good ones to choose from! The first one that comes to mind is Bea's anecdote about the time she was Tallulah Bankhead's understudy. The awe with which she describes her coming down the stairs is palpable -- but I mostly admire how she took Bankhead's mean comment and turned it into motivation. And Bea did get her 'coming down the stairs to thunderous applause' moment (more than once!), so her vow came true!
A fun one that involves all four main actresses is this blooper related to Blanche's Christmas gift to the girls, the 'The Men Of Blanche's Boudoir' calendar. Watching all of them lose their marbles over this prank is priceless -- it always puts a big smile on my face!
(Is this what you meant by this question? I wasn't sure!)
7. Which was the episode that got you hooked?
The pilot, lmao. It might be a cheesy answer, but it's true! I was immediately hooked from S1E1 scene one. Dorothy's incredible entrance got me.
8. You could wear one girl’s wardrobe for the rest of your life, who would you pick?
It's a toss-up between Blanche's and Dorothy's.
9. How many kids do you think they all actually had?
... this ask made me realize there are doubts about this, lmao. I've never done the math! Had to go check on wikipedia 😂
As far as I can tell, it's fairly set in stone that Rose had five children, of which we meet two (Kirsten, with two different faces 😂, and Brigit, who I assume is her youngest one).
It also seems reasonably certain that Dorothy had two kids -- Kate and Michael. I will say I've always thought Kate was much younger than she should have been in her appearances on the show, considering Dorothy was pregnant with her when she married, but maybe she just looked much younger than she actually was, I don't know.
Blanche is more complicated. We see both of her daughters, Janet and Rebecca, and in S3E3 Bringing Up Baby she mentions three sons, Matthew (also known as 'Skippy'), Doug, and Biff. In that same episode, though, she also says she's had four kids! I get where the disconnect comes from, haha. To be precise, her quote is:
"I have had four kids, I have never had a Mercedes."
This is just off the top of my head, but I wonder if she means 'I have had' in the sense of 'I have given birth to' here? This would imply one of her children is actually adopted (which is very interesting to think about!!). Since she directly mentions her three sons after this quote, I suppose our suspects are Janet and Becky. I'll have to give this some more thought, though -- for now my answer is that Blanche has five kids, and that 'four' is a continuity error on the writers' part.
10. Do you think the actresses would’ve gotten along with their characters if they met in real life? Why/Why not?
Interesting question! I think so, yes.
Dorothy and Bea seem fairly similar already -- as far as I know Bea was a big sweetheart, a private, gentle person, and Dorothy's a big sweetheart too. Plus I feel like Dorothy would have been respectful of Bea's introverted nature, and Bea would have been understanding and accepting of Dorothy's personal history (not to mention, she wouldn't have mocked her for not dating/for her appearance).
In all the interviews I've seen, Estelle seems very respectful and very fond of old people in general -- I think she'd find Sophia a riot! I seem to remember a clip in which she actually says she likes Sophia, so I feel pretty secure in stating they'd get along.
There's this famous quote by Rue in which she essentially says that she's similar to Blanche in everything but the fact that she's not from Atlanta 😂 so I feel justified in assuming they would have had fun with each other! Rue's stated that she felt an immediate connection to Blanche as a character, and that playing Blanche helped her gain more self-esteem and confidence, so I think meeting her in person would have had a similar effect! And Rue (being a very open, honest, compassionate person) might have helped Blanche drop her mask a little bit.
The only one I have an inkling of doubt about is Betty -- mostly because she'd run circles around Rose! But ultimately I think any 'mocking' would be gentle and affectionate, much like the Girls' jokes in the show. I think they would have liked each other -- and they could have bonded on their common love for animals alone!
11. What are your other comfort shows?
Apart from the aforementioned Good Omens, I'm also very fond of Only Murders In The Building, a really fun show about solving murders and found family that I wholeheartedly recommend. Derry Girls is another recent favourite. Oh, if you like cartoons too, I recommend Steven Universe, Hilda, and Avatar: The Last Airbender.
12. Headcanons? (Feel free to list as many as you’d like)
Oh, my god. I have so many and I'm for sure going to forget some. Let's see...
I've already said some time ago that in my mind Dorothy drives stick shift. Reasoning for this is that Italians (including yours truly, haha!) drive stick shift, and she's of Italian descent, so... she knows how to drive an automatic car, she just learned how to drive on a stick shift one (and in the streets of Brooklyn, no less!). Still on Dorothy: I think she has a very neat handwriting (she feels like the type of person who consciously decided to improve her handwriting at some point in her life), but she's prone to leaving ink stains on the page (and on her hands!!), especially when she's writing in a hurry.
Rose is really strong! Physically strong, I mean. I know she was a housewife for most of her life, but she was a farm girl first! Farming takes a lot of physical resilience, and that's the kind of strength that stays with you, I think. She's the one who lifts up the furniture when they clean (S2E12 The Sisters), and I don't think they'd let her do that if she couldn't handle it. Plus, remember that time she broke a whole ceramic cup with one bare hand (in S7E19 A Midwinter Night's Dream)? Yeah. I also subscribe to some mutuals' hc that she's autistic (although they'll be able to comment on it much better than I can, if they want to!).
Regarding Blanche, I really enjoy @\eeblouissant's hc that she has a permanent tan! She's from the South, she's lived near the coast for ages, *and* she's expressed an appreciation for sunbathing in the show, so it makes perfect sense to me. Also: she's a cover hog! In the show Rose is the one who admits to stealing the covers (in S2E5 Isn't It Romantic?, iirc), but I like to think Blanche is the worst offender. It's a good way to complete the Girls' trifecta of sleeping annoyances (Dorothy snores, Rose sleeptalks, Blanche steals the covers!), and I think it's thematically appropriate for her -- considering her Southern origin, I think she's more sensitive to the cold than Dorothy and Rose are, and she's always looking for affection, so...
Oh, regarding their sexuality: I don't have a marked preference for any of them, but I tend to think of Blanche as a bisexual with a lot of internalized homophobia. Rose is also bi, and somewhere on the asexual spectrum (and I have textual evidence for this!). @\hecatesbroom has completely convinced me to read Dorothy as a repressed lesbian, but I'm fine with people considering her bisexual too. I prefer queer interpretations of all of them, but I'm honestly fine with any take, as long as the strong (platonic or romantic) bond between them is preserved.
Most of my headcanons on Sophia are just traits borrowed from my grandmothers -- for example, I like to think that she started getting into gardening once she moved in with the Girls, and she's really gifted at it (like my grandma!).
13. What would you change (if anything) about the show/ characters if it was set in the modern day?
This is a really hard question to answer properly, because while the show is still very relevant to the present day, some aspects are so grounded in their time that a lot of things don't make as much sense when transposed into the future. For example -- would Dorothy end up marrying Stanley and staying married to him for 38 years if he'd gotten her pregnant in the 90s? Single mothers weren't exactly celebrated back then either (Madonna's Papa Don't Preach is from 1986), but they still had it much better than they did back in the 40s-50s -- and divorce has become much more accessible (and socially acceptable) in the past few decades. Would she have left him earlier? Would she have married him at all?
And what about Sophia? Being an Italian immigrant in the 50s seems different from being an Italian immigrant in the 20s -- there was a whole World War between the two, for starters. Would she still emigrate to the US? Would she even emigrate at all? How would she have survived the fascist regime in Italy?
Blanche and Rose are perhaps less grounded in their time. St Olaf is so absurd it might as well be the exact same in the present day (and dying in childbirth is unfortunately still too common, so it's not strange to think that Rose would be an orphan in any case), and considering how some people still think and behave nowadays, Blanche's biography and opinions seem plausible even when transposed 30-40 years into the future (at least to me). But still -- many of the issues they deal with were grounded in their time. Take Rose's AIDS scare: would she react in the same way in the present day, knowing that care for HIV patients has progressed so much?
To be fair, apart from all these questions, all of the Girls are still plausible (and relatable) characters from a modern POV; but society has changed a lot in the past 30-40 years, and I think a groundbreaking, socially advanced show like Golden Girls would necessarily have to change as a consequence. It's just in the spirit of the show! The core idea of four women sharing a life is still a perfect premise, but the problems the Girls face, their careers, their economic stability, their ideas on love and relationships -- there's a lot that could be different when transposed to the present day! I feel like this question requires much more space, time, and analysis to be answered properly.
One thing I like to think is that at least some of the Girls might have been explicitly queer if the show was set in the present day! Which opens up a lot of avenues for plot-lines and relationships :)
14. Which other Fictional Characters would you like each one of the golden girls to meet?
I have a storyboard in my notes for a little comic in which the Girls travel to England and meet Aziraphale and Crowley from Good Omens, so them, definitely 😂
Also, the Derry Girls! Check out this great crossover fic on Ao3 -- the chaotic energy is just off the charts, I love it.
15. Who were your favourite duo?
Oh, I can't choose. Any duo within the Girls. Their 1:1 interactions are all amazing, there's no way I can pick just one. I love the bond between Dorothy and Sophia, I love Dorothy and Blanche's chemistry, I love how fun and silly Blanche and Rose get to be together, I love the ironclad trust between Dorothy and Rose, I love Blanche and Sophia's love-(fake) hate friendship, I love the way Sophia hides her immense affection for Rose under a veil of humour and the way Rose sees right through it. I could write an essay on each pair of them.
15. Who should’ve got more 1:1 screen time with each other?
I'm pretty happy with the amount of 1:1 time each pair of Girls got with each other, actually! One of the strengths of the show imho is how well-balanced the interactions between the main cast are. If I really have to nitpick, I think I might have liked a couple of episodes specifically on Dorothy and Rose in the last couple of seasons; it feels like they interacted 1:1 less after S5, but that might just be me.
I also think the Girls' interactions with secondary characters and guests were well-balanced, in general; I can't think of any specific example where I wished for one of the Girls to have more interactions with a certain character.
... okay, there is one instance, but it's not really a matter of screen time, more of what happened during said screen time. I really, really wanted to see Blanche (with Rose as support) tear into Stan. I think we deserved a scene where she tells him off for the way he treats Dorothy -- she's already pretty caustic in the show when it comes to him (except in S6, for some reason...), and a proper confrontation would have been glorious.
16. Calmest season?
Is there one? 😂 the first season, I guess? It feels a bit more 'domestic' and contained in scope, likely because it was the first -- but it's still a wild ride!!
17. Most chaotic season?
Season 3, for sure. It's a bit all over the place, and it contains some of the wildest premises in the whole series -- I mean, Bringing Up Baby? Letter to Gorbachev? Mister Terrific? I could go on -- there's lots of chaotic episodes in there! (Just to be clear: I love the chaos! S3 is not my favourite season, but it's still great -- and it's got some amazing episodes!)
18. Favorite Season?
I think the honour goes to season 5! It would probably be S6, if not for the whole 'Dorothy falls back in love with Stan' plot line. S7 is the one that contains the highest count of favourite episodes for me, but I think S5 is stronger as a whole, and it's got some true gems.
19. If the girls hadn’t had their established careers, what other ones could you picture them doing?
Oh, let's see! Stan mentions Dorothy always wanted to open an antique shop back in S1E11 The Return of Dorothy's Ex, and I think that really fits her. I can also see her as a (very passionate) librarian! And, of course, she'd be great as a college professor / history researcher.
Despite the Girls' lack of confidence in her ability to keep things alive, I think with proper training Rose would work well as a nurse. She already volunteers for the hospital, she can be competent when given the chance, she's a giving person, and she loves taking care of people, so I think she at least has the right attitude for it -- although I'd never place her in a stressful unit, especially at the start of the show! Apart from this, anything to do with animals, of course -- a zoo, a farm, a pet shop, she'd excel in all of them!
I can see Blanche thriving as a trophy wife, haha 😂 but that's not properly a career, so it's not a valid answer. Taking her keen artistic eye into account, I think she'd be great as a designer -- either a fashion designer, or an interior decorator. She also showed some talent and interest in psychology during the series, although I'm not sure she'd manage to remain completely professional as a psychologist. 😅
As for Sophia, I think she'd do well in any position that allows her to be a motivator! She's great at encouraging people through a bit of tough love, and she's a very driven person herself -- so I think she'd do well as a manager of sorts, although the kind of manager that still works hands-on too. I believe she'd manage to hold her own in more or less any field; she's very adaptable! I do think she's at her best in a kitchen, though.
20. Best aspects of the show in your opinion?
There's a lot! The writing, the performances, the costume department, it was all exceptional. I think the best aspect to me is the premise, and how seriously they took it! The idea of a show centered on four older women living together is groundbreaking, especially since it didn't make a mockery of them -- the Girls are serious, well-rounded characters, with full lives, written with lots of love and respect. I think this show really convinced me that life isn't over once you hit 30, and that there's plenty to look forward to as you age! A lot of people my age are terrified of growing older, and here I am, eager to see what's coming next -- and I owe at least some of this attitude to this show. I'm really grateful!
21. (This question is for my fellow cheesecake lovers) favourite cheesecake flavour?
:) Great question! I love cheesecakes in general, but I'm especially partial to raspberry cheesecakes.
22. Storyline you wished they had expanded upon?
The show has an unfortunate tendency to introduce characters and then forget about them, which allowed for more variety in the stories they chose to tell, but I would have liked to see some of the Girls' relatives and friends return! Like, I don't know -- Jean, for example, or Blanche's nephew from back in S1. Some of the guests' arcs are complete within their episode (as happens eg for Lily, Rose's sister), but others remained a bit 'in the air', and I think it would have been nice to see them again.
Oh, and also -- I would have liked some little references to the Girls' issues and problems outside of the episodes they're tackled in! References to Blanche's pacemaker, for example, or to Rose's addiction, or to Dorothy's CFS (or her hearing aid!!). I understand that the time was limited, but even a small callback or two would have been nice!
23. Questions you’d ask the actresses?
Does 'will you marry me' count? 😭
I'm not sure -- knowing me, I'd probably be unable to utter a word in their presence! Rather than ask questions, I think I'd just thank them for bringing such an incredible, wonderful show to life. It wouldn't have been the same without them.
24. Episode that brings you the most comfort?
Most of them, really. Even the sad ones; I hear the first few notes of the opening theme and my spirits are already lifted. I can pick one per season, if that's alright:
S1E25 The Way We Met
S2E17 Bedtime Story
S3E3 Bringing Up Baby
S4E4 Yokel Hero
S5E23 The Mangiacavallo Curse Makes a Lousy Wedding Present
S6E26 Henny Penny -- Straight, No Chaser
S7E23/24 Home Again, Rose
But honestly there's so many more I could mention! I just love these ladies so much and I love to watch them in situations, haha.
25. Episode that made you laugh the hardest?
This is a cruel choice! Golden Girls is infamous in my house as 'the show that makes the-eclectic-wonderer howl with laughter', and I think that speaks for itself 😂
Let me pick at least three: S2E4 It's a Miserable Life, S7E2 The Case of the Libertine Belle, and S7E4 That's For Me To Know.
26. Which other work that the actresses did you enjoy the most?
I believe most of Estelle's career prior to The Golden Girls was in the theater, so I'm not sure it's even possible to watch her other works, unfortunately.
Show me Bea Arthur singing literally anything and I will be on my knees in seconds. Her musical performances are peak. Also -- I still haven't watched Maude, but I already know I'll love it.
Maude includes Rue as well -- I cannot wait to fall in love with her as Vivian too! And I have one of her early movies in my watch list, although I'm waiting for the right moment to watch it (homegirl plays a stripper and I'm not sure I can handle it in company without making a fool of myself, considering my big gay crush on her).
As for Betty -- Life With Elizabeth, absolutely. She's so funny and so beautiful and so captivating in it! She's simply charming, I love her to bits.
27. Best St Olaf Story?
The Great Herring War from S1E25 The Way We Met, no question. It's not necessarily the strongest from a comedy point of view (although it's certainly up there -- it's hilarious!), but the context and the way Dorothy and Blanche contribute to it make it the most memorable one, imho. It's my favourite, for sure.
(The story of Gunilla Bjorndunker, St Olaf's tallest woman, as told in S6E3 If At Last You Do Succeed is in second place).
28. Best slut story?
It changes every time I hear one, lmao! I love all of Blanche's stories!
If I must pick one -- I really enjoy Blanche's retelling of that time she realized she was even more devastating by moonlight in S1E25 The Way We Met, if only for that incredible final line ("It was at that moment I realized my bosoms had the power to make music!"). I'm not sure if it counts, because it's so brief, but her involuntary remembrance of that time she had to call a cab to get home because the sailor she hooked up with wouldn't wake up (S2E17 Bedtime Story) always has me in stitches -- I love how unexpected and effective it is!
Oh, and I'm really fond of the one she tells her mama in S3E25 Mother's Day. I'm very sensitive to the theme of loved ones getting older and having trouble remembering stuff, so that whole flashback hits close to home for me, and I love how Blanche's story helps her and her mama connect over shared memories. It's really touching (and Rue's acting is spectacular).
29. Best Sicily story?
Sophia's alleged encounter with Pablo Picasso, as narrated in S6E24 Never Yell Fire In A Crowded Retirement Home: Part 1. I somehow didn't anticipate the punchline, and I lost my shit when Sophia name-dropped Picasso. I still lose my shit every time I listen to it. It's a classic.
30. Which girl would you be most interested in seeing a prequel of? And at which point in their life?
I would pay dearly for a young!Dorothy show. It might be depressing (because her life with Stan was... well... yikes) but also imagine -- Dorothy learning how to be a mom, her life at college, building herself a life... so many possibilities!!! And it would be even better if it featured some flashbacks to Sophia's life in Sicily!
I would enjoy a show about teenage Blanche's adventures, too, but a part of me thinks those stories are at their best when retold by Blanche herself (ie when there's a good amount of doubt as to their veracity, lmao).
#these were so much fun!! i loved them!!!#thank you so much <3 i hope this is what you expected?#i do often say i love taking about the girls and you gave me the occasion to talk about them *a lot* so im very grateful!!#the witness protection program thing came a bit out of left field but it's not that bad *per se*. it's just that they used it as an excuse#to change miles' character in a way i don't enjoy if that makes sense#that question about kids tickled my brain. i'll have to think about blanche's kids a little more#but the implications are really interesting#cover hog blanche is so important to me. it fits her so well!! i can see her holding george like a teddy bear in her sleep when he was aliv#and then he died. and the bed was empty and cold. what could she do but try to recapture that warmth by wrapping herself in the covers?#i hope my answer about the girls in a modern setting makes sense. the show spent a lot of time tackling the societal problems *of the time*#so it would necessarily be different if it were set in the present day. i mean -- imagine the girls dealing with social media alone!#any academic career would work well for dorothy imho. can you imagine having her as a college professor?#so many students would be in love with her lmao. oh -- i think she'd also be a great writer! of poetry and of prose :)#i might be biased in favour of nurse!rose bc she is a nurse in a little au of mine that will remain confined to my brain lol#but i do gen think she could do a good job!#please don't take the trophy wife blanche comment too seriously lmao it's mostly a joke. in any case she'd be an active trophy wife#one of those that organize events and take part in the community and stuff. she's smart and driven!#great herring war scene my beloved... it's impossible to overstate just how much i love that scene#it's one of my all-time favourites for sure#the golden girls#tag game
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coquelicoq · 11 months
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after spending the last week very stressed out and losing sleep over how much i regretted giving my number to a stranger, and after talking to several friends who all gave me the same very wise advice ("decide first what YOU want out of this and make decisions based on that" sounds obvious now but honestly blew my mind), i saw food truck man again today and he asked me if i have a boyfriend, told me he's all alone, hugged me twice, and tried to kiss me. i texted him after to be like just to be clear, i don't want a boyfriend, but i hope you find somebody! and he texted me back: i don't need a girlfriend. i'm married.
#AHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA#i was actually so upset after he tried to kiss me. technically he did kiss me but not on the mouth because i would not turn my head lol#but i was like you know what i am an adult and i am going to be soooo mature right now. watch how mature i can be#and sent him this text#and then got that response and honestly now i feel a lot better about everything?? for some reason#i am not really understanding all of my reactions to this situation i need some time to process#but ultimately i have learned some new things about myself (or i probably will once i have processed lol)#and i'm actually quite proud of that text because i could have psyched myself out too much to send it#which i think would have just made me continue to be stressed about this#but i didn't!! i wrote it and i sent it and i didn't overthink it. yay me#sorry 2 everyone who wanted me to have a sexy time but it turns out i did not want to have a sexy time!#and i decided to take some advice that i should only do things i want to do <3 thank you to all my wise friends#it is a work in progress because he asked if he could hug me and i didn't really want to do that but i said okay#baby steps! working on it!#i feel insane though because i usually have a much easier time saying no than most people i know#so i don't know what's happening. it's because i gave him my number. i felt like by doing that i had consented to other things#but i hadn't. and even if i had i can withdraw consent at any time. yes. i do know this
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chilapis · 5 months
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Last post before I crash and no-one hears from me until I return from my first final the morrow’s eve (a changed man no doubt) but there’ll never be anything funnier to me than consistently being viewed as a composed and calm saviour by peers while I’m, actively and uncontrollably losing it.
#not said sarcastically or as a vent by the way I genuinely find it so terribly amusing. you think I have it together ? aw <3 you fool.#i’ve been pacing around my room like a starving lion since the past week in whatever free time i’ve had.#and i keep getting people in my messages begging me for last minute help ? which is endearing but. i’m hanging on for dear life myself#helping isn’t foreign to me; i have 4 (?) people in my class who almost exclusively refer to me as ma’am and even refer to me as a teacher.#but helping last minute is so. deeply chaotic.#and I have this issue with me where having others around me makes me immediately drop into a ‘role’ of sorts?#i’ll be freaking out but then someone else starts freaking out around me and my immediate response is to just.#hey. we are going to make it out of this. it’s easy as pie. do you see me worried? no right? <- on the verge of hyperventilating#there’s this one guy in particular who got so excited to find out we have the exact same examination set-up tomorrow.#i gave him like basic pointers and i don’t think i’ve ever been thanked so earnestly and desperately in my life.#i remember during mocks my friends would message me what I wrote in questions and then they’d immediately go oh thank Fuck.#they’d literally just act like they’re absolutely going to pass now just because we had points ​in common.#as if i’m some sort of fucked up correct answer sheet incarnate.#it’s genuinely really sweet to me though; like i’m not posting this ranting or such.#having so much faith in another to the point that you can put yourself completely at ease says. alot i think.#and i’m glad i can be that person for so many.#and I feel like it helps me in a way too because i become so concerned with others that I forget to drown myself in my worries.#i forget that I’m worried because there are others to care about and console and help. so i suppose they help me in a way as well.#but also who is going to be that person for ME. who is going to console ME. im going fucking neurotic /jest#<- woman with ego issues & control issues who would rather die than accept help.#sigh. oh well. I’m sure we’ll do just fine. cannot wait#🥀🍷 — colloquy.
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luxsea · 11 months
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i heard karlachs monologue was rlly good but holy shit i genuinely dont think i'll be the same after that
#olive.txt#bg3 spoilers#spoilers in tags !!#samantha seriously deserves an award that was soul wrenching#i think back in interviews where they talked abt karlachs trauma and how she reverts into a scared child#the whole encounter w gortash was very much that#and he speaks down to her and calls her a brat#imagine saying ''what do you know about the greater good'' TO THE LIVING EMBODIMENT OF GOOD#he doesnt care what he did to her at all but she does care!! he betrayed her and stole her future and there is no closure!#well i felt pretty satisfied i casted a dancing scroll on him and let karlach go to town *youre gonna go far kid plays in the distance*#her pain and anger is so understandable no one deserves this especially not her#the delivery of ''my heart. it was mine. and they took it'' is so incredibly natural and heartbreaking. this scene gave me actual heartburn#shes seemed pretty confident abt dying but i guess in her own words courage isnt fearlessness :(#ugh the part where she just wants you to tell her everything will be alright and that you can save her!!! so cruel larian!#for a character that lost their heart she sure as hell didnt lose her soul </3#''THANKS FOR LISTENING. FOR EXISTING. LOVE YOU.''#yeah was not prepared for what im guessing is the romantic version of her scene back at camp#idk why i thought they wouldnt address it but wow when she asks if youll stay w her when its her time to go. im in shambles#might take back some of my opinions abt her endings. its still cruel she doesnt get a Happy ending but its being handled rlly well so far
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disdaidal · 1 year
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Sometimes I really kind of envy you native English speakers who make writing and posting fics seem so fucking easy. With near perfect grammar and hardly any typos. Or those of you who are capable of writing & updating your fics whenever the muse hits you just right... and not like, once in six months. Actually, try two years lol.
Whereas me, a non-native speaker, who occasionally struggles even with basic English grammar:
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I'm fine. Totally.
#personal#okay so i've been writing this one piece of fiction for a while now#actually two but i've seemed to put the other one on hold for a while at least#(i may have mentioned this already like five times during the past two weeks but my point is i'm still working on it)#many thanks to @ihni who recently gave me some words of encouragement <3 and ofc @catzy88 who gave me even more insp *saatananauru*#and i'm actually really kind of enjoying it because there's no pressure to write it and post it#i write it in small sections. whenever i feel like it. giving myself enough time to plan it and think about it. even getting new ideas#and for once i'm trying not to keep editing and fixing it as i go. i just write whatever crap comes to my mind and just let it flow#i try not to think about how many mistakes and typos i make because that way i'm never gonna get it finished#but at the same time... when it's finally time to go through it#fix typos. missing words. possibly poor grammar. i know i'm just gonna hate it so fucking much lmao#but i'm really trying my best here okay. and i'm trying not to rush it. for once#because i used to write like this as a teenager. when there was nowhere really to post your original stories (thank god for that)#so i did it in my notebooks. and i quite enjoyed it doing that way#and i'm not sure why i'm even rambling this because most of you are never gonna read it anyway lol. so who gives right#but it matters to me and i'm feeling good about writing again so here i am rambling about it. no matter if you care not. so cheers mateys <
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astrxealis · 2 years
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hi besties i'm like. so hot
#⋯ ꒰ა starry thoughts ໒꒱ *·˚#today. but also everyday ofc <3#WAHHH OKAY CHRISTMAS PARTY OVER !! it is now break omg <3 tho i have school work still :((#OUR THEME FOR OUTFITS WAS 'YOUR TYPE' SO I JUST WORE WHAT I LIKE !!! i am very happy#an old friend who is vv cool and funny (humms student fr) uh. i am best friends w someone in their class so i stood outside?#BAKED SUSHI W SEAWEED IS SO YUMMY BTW! tbh i barely ate today at school but i had so much zesto#ANYWAYS UHM YEAH they told me You're So Hot and i kept thinking about that. its been hours now HELP#IT JUST MADE ME REALLY HAPPY OKAY. also flustered /p humms student fr lmao they have the vibes so much anyways tysm#i replied to that with 'i know' & 'thank you' HAHAHDHRJSGJDJSKSK ANYWAYS. YEAH TYSM AGAIN TO THEM#one of my vv nice classmates also told me they like my outfit! also my other best friend/s <333#omg yk. this is fucking funny bcs it's after the first sem and once christmas break starts but#i will hmu some of my classmates ... mostly just the one (who is also an old friend). agh#MAYBE THE OTHER TOO (an old friend as well) BCS THEY LIKE HYPMIC#anyways i rlly look so good today mwa my hair my eyes my glasses my outfit my everything so true <3#i got a few gifts... mostly just from my teacher/s who gave to everyone + a classmate who did as well#and from lune's friend-classmate HEHE technically a gift to mostly lune or us generally#secret santa gift. i wasn't able to give mine bcs she wasn't here today :(( and i didn't get it yet either#MY CLASMATE SAID NEXT YEAR! which means i think they are giving me that thing i want from etsy. ffxiv charm of exarch#or maybe not... the other stuff there are games on steam and uhm either a jacket of sorts or a stuffed toy#whatever it is. i am >___< jshdjsjdk I DOUBT ITS THE GAMES BCS THEY AREN'T A GAMER BUT YEAH#anyways rambles Over hi welcome once again to apollo's rambles of daily life. 12.16 edition!#i will disappear again oops. but dw i'm fine i'm just kinda exhausted and busy and yeah#sorry. to my old friend. you calling me So Hot got to my head /lh HAHAHDJDVKSHDKAK#I'M STILL NOT OVER IT ..... wow. all /p btw#i should have said it back like 'you too' FAHAHRHEUEGWIWHWI MAN
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celestie0 · 16 days
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gojo satoru x reader | oneshot smut [18+]
title. around the clock
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Hooking up with your little brother’s babysitter? That sounds more like a bad porno than a sensible decision.
ᰔ pairing. babysitter/boxing au - underground boxer & babysitter!gojo x college student!reader (f)
ᰔ summary. when underground boxer gojo satoru becomes a little strapped for cash, he gets a day job as a babysitter for a five-year-old kid named yuuji who most definitely has adhd (but that’s besides the point). the kid’s mom gave gojo two rules, and two rules only: don’t accidentally kill my son, and do not flirt with my daughter. he’s pretty sure he’s got a good hold on the former, but he’s got no self control over the latter.
ᰔ warnings/tags. 18+, fem!reader, smut, casual sex, lil bit of fluff, lil bit of crack, slight age gap (reader’s 22 & gojo’s 27), cum play, creampie, unprotected sex, praise kink, slight degradation, gojo is a sleazebag that cares?, sort of porn-coded smut except there’s a lil bit of lore so it’s kinda porn w plot, uhh having sex with risk of getting caught, gojo beats people up at night & then plays father figure to a 5 y/o during the day, mentions of violence/alcohol/drugs/blood/cigarettes
ᰔ word count. 12.6k
a/n. hiiii friends jeez it feels like FOREVER since i've posted some good ol' smut (still has plot tho xd)...hopefully you enjoy n see ya at the bottom! lmk if i missed any warnings! if you asked to be tagged but didn’t get tagged it’s bc you have your tags off aaa :( even when some ppl tried to fix it i still couldn’t tag them i’m sorry!!
alsoooooo so very much love to @starmapz for beta reading this for me :”) really helped me w my posting nerves haha. she is also a wonderful jjk author pls go check out her works!! 💕 ART CREDITS: @/3-aem
➸ masterlist
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2:34 pm yuuji’s sis (no flirting): heyy um i’m sorry if this comes off kinda rude i just am kinda bad with this but i was wondering if you could text my mom for questions about yuuji’s care instead of me?
2:46pm Gojo Satoru: Oh 2:46pm Gojo Satoru: Yeah, sure
2:34 pm yuuji’s sis (no flirting): sorry i know my mom doesn’t know much ab how to take care of him bc i was the one that took care of him for a while but i just really want to separate myself from that guardian role now that i’ve transferred to NYU yknow? :/ i think it’s not my place anymore. i just wanna be big sis now haha
2:46pm Gojo Satoru: I get it. Sorry if I was making you uncomfortable with my texts
2:48pm yuuji’s sis (no flirting): no no not uncomfy by it, thanks for looking after him. it’s just i’m kind of busy n stuff so it can be distracting 
2:49pm Gojo Satoru: Ok, got it
2:52pm yuuji’s sis (no flirting): and it was kind of an issue with his last babysitter
2:53pm Gojo Satoru: Oh?
2:55pm yuuji’s sis (no flirting): yeahhh like he would keep textinf me n stuff uhh kinda weird things… i told my mom about it and she was super pissed so she fired him
2:55pm Gojo Satoru: Weird things?
2:56pm yuuji’s sis (no flirting): yeah he was always “accidentally sexting me” n like he sent me a dick pic once sooooo yeah
2:56pm Gojo Satoru: Who tf 2:56pm Gojo Satoru: I’ll go beat him up
2:57pm yuuji’s sis (no flirting): oh no no its fine lol 2:57pm yuuji’s sis (no flirting): please dont beat anyone up 2:58pm yuuji’s sis (no flirting): i’m not saying you’re like him tho i just think maybe less texting unless its an emergency okay?
3:00pm Gojo Satoru: Are you sure because I will totally go beat him up for you
3:01pm yuuji’s sis (no flirting): NO I DONT WANT YOU TO BEAT ANYONE UP FOR ME 3:01pm yuuji’s sis (no flirting): also no offense but you dont look like you could beat someone up
3:01pm Gojo Satoru: WHAT 3:02pm Gojo Satoru: Tf you mean “no offense” that’s literally the most offensive thing you could say to a guy
3:04pm yuuji’s sis (no flirting): yeaa i mean you have muscles ofc but in the ‘ohhh i wanna look good for instagram’ way and not like real man muscles yknow
3:06pm Gojo Satoru: Ok princess next time you visit home and go on one of your stupidly large grocery hauls I’ll make sure you carry all those groceries in by yourself 
3:06pm yuuji’s sis (no flirting): NO 3:07pm yuuji’s sis (no flirting): I WAS JUST JOKING 3:07pm yuuji’s sis (no flirting): YOURE SO STRONG TY FOR ALWAYS CARRYING THE GROCERIES INSIDE 3:08pm yuuji’s sis (no flirting): PLEASE KEEP CARRYING MY GROCERIES INSIDE
3:09pm Gojo Satoru: Nah 3:09pm Gojo Satoru: Should we be texting right now? I’m not sensing any emergencies here
3:11pm yuuji’s sis (no flirting): pls. my groceries :(
3:16pm Gojo Satoru: I’ll let the kiddo know you say hi 👋🏼 
The irony of it all was that, if Gojo really wanted to, he absolutely could beat the shit out of someone. And he has, hundreds of times, pseudo professionally. Although that isn’t something he’d admit to you, out of fear that you might relay that info back to your mom who would then become mortified that she’s entrusted her five-year-old son’s life to the hands of an underground boxer. 
But he needed the money. A night-time job didn’t really make daytime money, not when they could easily replace him with the next dude the second he gets knocked out of the ring more than twice, let alone if he let it happen once. And although he sometimes made large sums, it wasn’t stable income. He needed a back-up plan, and so babysitting it was. 
The babysitter working nights at unsanctioned dojos and gyms located in the back of cartel blocks, knocking teeth out of men twice his size, would put any decent mother into a coma or induce some episode of syncope, hence why it wasn’t something he put on his resume before he got hired. Not that he even needed to provide a resume; your mom seemed desperate to cover the position as fast as possible, that promotion at work was moving faster than she wanted to, and Gojo’s beneficial attribute that he possessed as a candidate to look after her son, compared to all the other potential hires, was that he had a penis.
He likes the kid. Yuuji. He’s got kind of a short attention span, and makes Gojo weary of his age. Hold up, that makes him sound like he’s geriatric, he’s really only the ripe old age of twenty-seven, but the immortality and infinite stamina that a five-year-old boy has on him is enough to have him huffing and puffing at the end of every single evening shift he takes on with the rascal. 
Fighting is all sprint, and no stamina. Sure, there might be some more seasoned boxers that might disagree with him, but for someone as young as him in the field, it’s the tactic he’s been forced to gain. If he draws a fight on for too long, he'll get killed by a forty-two year old man with steroids clogging up his adipose tissue and enough  testosterone to grow a full-body beard by the time the sun starts to set. No, his strategy is to knock them out within the first fifteen seconds. Use their weight against them, and whatnot. A tactic he’s found has worked, since he’s been undefeated thus far. 
He can never wrap his head around it. The drug lords that run the rings who’ve gained millions the night before from selling crystal meth only to lose it all the night following in the second Gojo hooklines a solid punch to their betting boxer’s chin, making them see God & their Momma before they tap out (if they’re even able).
He doesn’t pocket much money from it, not anything compared to what the men who bet on him end up making at least, but it’s a decently solid sum. How lucrative it really is depends solely on what he thinks the value of his life is.
It’s not unheard of, boxers dying in the ring. Turns out, rich drug dealers care very little about the sheep they’ve captured to perform their entertaining little stunts. But Gojo wasn’t doing all of this to feel some sense of work-life pride, no, it was just sustenance. When basic needs are not met, humans resort to the most animalistic of all behaviors, and while he’s not proud of what he does, he can’t deny the fact that it’s turned him into an adrenaline junkie that gets a rush in his veins every time he knocks a jaw loose.
But balance was key. And hence why he’s a boxer by night, babysitter by day. For at least four days a week, he gets to pretend he’s the king’s most trusted appointed knight, or he’s the radioactive tyrannosaurus rex that wants to tyrannize all the other dinosaurs, or maybe he’s the evil power ranger (he always forgets which color that one was) that is determined to make the world a living hell by smashing mr. potatohead against the bunk bed post a billion times for all the other toys to see. Or whatever other imaginative hyperfixations Yuuji imposes on him in the later afternoon once he’s had his bowl of spaghetti-O’s and is ready to play. Lately, the kid’s been really into space. They’ve got all sorts of space toys these days. Back in Gojo’s day, he just had a good ol’ Buzz Lightyear.
“One rule, that’s it: don’t accidentally kill my son. Actually, one more rule. Don’t flirt with my daughter.” 
There’s a part of Gojo that believes your mom kind of knows he’s up to shady shit at night, otherwise why else would she clause for him to not flirt with you if she didn’t read the slight swell to his eye and the healing gash across his cheek as anything other than this boy is trouble and I want him nowhere near my too-good-for-him daughter of reproductive capacity since that’s the exact tale of how I became a single mother in the first place. Or maybe he inherently looks like he’s up to no good? He’s not sure which angle is more offensive, and which one was more flattering. Well in any case, she entrusted Yuuji’s life to him, despite acknowledging the plausibility of harm, and that means she overall thinks positively of him, right? ……right?
The first night he met you, it was awkward to say the least. Gojo spends most of his nights performing deadly stunts for middle aged men with potbellies, and most of his days hanging out with a five-year-old (one who he’d argue is his only friend at this point). Sure, he’s got some people he sees occasionally back in his high school hometown when he can brave hearing about how everyone’s in college now or doing a masters or they’re working respectable nine-to-five day jobs meanwhile he has to lie to his Pops that he’s been working in insurance for the past two years. Listen, in fairness, he probably makes the same amount of money as an insurance broker would anyways, but he can’t exactly own up to the identity of his craft. 
Anyways, the point is, he’s not used to seeing other people his age anymore. There’s the occasional hook-up with girls he hasn’t seen since Mrs. Tracy’s homeroom period back in sweet two-thousand-sixteen, or his twice-a-year hangout with Suguru where he only learns the day of where he's visiting from since the guy moves around more than Gojo can keep up with. But save for that, he mostly just sees your mom and then Yuuji. 
So seeing you standing in the kitchen for the first time when he went to put Yuuji’s half-finished GoGurt back in the fridge was startling to say the least. When the sight of a woman startled him, he knew he needed to start getting out again.
You were on your tiptoes, reaching up to grab at something over the fridge, and wearing these ridiculously short shorts to where he could see the curve of your ass, his line of sight trailing down the skin of your bare legs. He couldn’t see anything of your form above your shorts, given you were wearing an extremely baggy t-shirt with NYU on it in big bolded university letters. As far as he knew, you were a senior at NYU, studying psychology, made dean’s list consecutively for the past three years given the way your mother posted all your stellar transcripts up on the fridge (he gets that she’s proud of her daughter, but doesn’t that kind of stuff usually end in grade school?) But other than that, it was all the information he had on you.
“Here,” he said, pressing his front to your back, maybe just to get a feel, as he reached over to you to finally grab the box of cereal you were swatting for, the one that he purposefully placed at the back because Yuuji learned how to climb counters recently. “Is this what you want?”
He had heard you gasp, spinning around on your heel fast, staring up at him with wide eyes like you weren’t expecting some random man to be in the house right now, and your first instinct ended up being to grab the knife out of the kitchen knife block and lunge it straight at his torso.
If it wasn’t for his boxer reflexes, he’d have ended up at the ER that evening. Or dead. All depending on the strength you could pack into a stab. But instead, he deflected it, though not without a gash to his torso through the fabric of his shirt, one that you spent the rest of the evening profusely apologizing for and eventually mending to with cotton balls and neosporin. 
“I didn’t know you were my little brother’s babysitter,” you mumbled with a small wince on your face as you dabbed ointment on the wound while he pulled the hem of his shirt up to his shoulder. He’s never had an injury tended to before. It was nice.
“It’s fine, I get it, totally acceptable response to seeing a random dude in your house.”
He remembers the curl of your eyelashes while you stared down at his bare upper half, something he imprinted on his memory rather than the concern in your face as your fingertips traced the scars across his chest. He hoped they made you feel better about the one you just slashed into him, because after all, what was one more? 
He knows he shouldn’t have, but he kissed you that night. Two minutes before your mom came home, and right after you bid him goodnight with one more apology, he backed you up against the door of your bedroom, his hands on your hips pulling you towards him, and his lips pressed against yours. Something seamless, from candid conversation that was heading towards an end, to full fledged making out against white-painted wood, his teeth nipping at your lip and he wondered just how touch-starved those university boys were leaving you given the desperate way you’d clinged to his shirt for dear life as he deepened the kiss.
The moment only lasted one minute and fifty-seven seconds, and in the remaining three, your mother’s key pushed into the front door and he had to pull away. Always, on the dot, 10PM, she was home. It was how he knew he had two minutes left to make a move in the first place.
So much for no flirting.
6:57pm Gojo Satoru: Bahahah I accidentally forgot where yuuji’s epipen is 6:58pm Gojo Satoru: [sent a photo] 6:59pm Gojo Satoru: Turns out this can-o-soup was just covering it in the cabinet
7:01pm yuuji’s sis (no flirting): ??? why did you need to find his epipen
7:08pm Gojo Satoru: Oh he accidentally took a bite of my pad thai 7:09pm Gojo Satoru: I freaked cuz I thought it had peanuts in it but I remember I asked for it without any  7:09pm Gojo Satoru: shit’s crazy
7:10pm yuuji’s sis (no flirting): WHY THE FUCK DIDNT YOU TEXT ME????????
7:12pm Gojo Satoru: YOU SAID YOU DIDNT WANT ME TEXTING YOU UNLESS IT WAS AN EMERGENCY ?
7:13pm yuuji’s sis (no flirting): SATORU YOU THOGHT HE ATE SOMETHING W PEANUTS IN IT AND YOU FORGOT WHERE HIS EPIPEN WAS THATSS A FUCKIGN EMERGENCY
7:15pm Gojo Satoru: THE KID IS DOING FINE HES ALIVE JESUS LEAVE ME ALONE 7:16pm Gojo Satoru: [sent a photo] 7:16pm Gojo Satoru: See. he’s chill 7:17pm Gojo Satoru: with intact airways might I add 7:18pm Gojo Satoru: Also isn’t he a little too old to still be watching baby sensory videos?
7:20pm yuuji’s sis (no flirting): yeah my mom thinks he has adhd :(
7:22pm Gojo Satoru: oh
He tried to keep his word though (although he doesn’t recall ever giving it) out of the respect he had for your mom. She was a hard-working lady, single mom of two who went from working three jobs to now being a major administrator at a big law firm near the outskirts of town. It was an underdog story if he’d ever heard one, and he loved an underdog story. 
But a little texting here and there wouldn’t hurt, right? Or so he thought, until you told him to cut it out with the contact. Maybe you were just trying to be the good one in this situation. After all, hooking up with your little brother’s babysitter? That sounds more like a bad porno than a sensible decision. Still, he’ll eventually get your replies to his which shirt should Yuuji wear to the park? and look, the toothfairy gave him the butt of a joint and a couple thumbtacks for his front tooth. he’s ecstatic texts, although in a less timely manner than before when you weren’t trying to preserve propriety. And when you’d occasionally visit every other weekend, he’d do his best to keep his hands in his pockets, and you’d fill up your nights with hangouts with your hometown friends to avoid spending too much time with him at the house. A silent agreement to not fuck each other, it was. 
4:55pm yuuji’s sis (no flirting): send pic of yuuji pls i miss him :(
5:04pm Gojo Satoru: [sent a photo]
5:08pm yuuji’s sis (no flirting): IS THAT BLOOD?!?!?!?!
5:09pm Gojo Satoru: chillllllll it’s fake. We’re working on his halloween costume
5:09pm yuuji’s sis (no flirting): WHY DOES IT HAVE BLOOD?!?!?!?!?!?
5:10pm Gojo Satoru: He wants to be a baby xenomorph and I'm his parasitic host. You know that iconic chestburster scene from the old school alien movies? yeah
5:12pm yuuji’s sis (no flirting): satoru please for the love of god just dress him up as a dinosaur or something
5:13pm Gojo Satoru: I’m not the one that came up with the idea, okay? It was him
5:14pm yuuji’s sis (no flirting): because you let him watch adult swim with you before putting him to bed. you’ve deranged his brain.
5:14pm Gojo Satoru: He needs it. Builds character.
Gojo was living a double life, and if someone asked him, he’d say it was less of a Clark Kent way and more of a Bruce Wayne way, although in reality, he knows it’s close to neither. He’s no superhero with a concealed identity fighting crime, he’s a con artist that’s tricked a hard-working woman into hiring him just because he’s trying to save up enough money to get the fuck out of this godforsaken town, given he’s not knocked dead before then for the crime’s amusement.
But Yuuji looks up to him now. And Gojo’s grown attached to him too. He taught the kid how to tie his own shoes and piss inside the actual toilet like a real man. And that kid’s the only thing that’s made him question any of this. Maybe that’s what dads feel, suddenly held to all this impossible responsibility and the pressure to stop doing stupid shit so that you’ll stick around to see your kids get older. The thought that there are eyes on you now, eyes that are innocent and hopeful and learning, and because they know nothing at all, you feel the responsibility to protect them from everything. For fucks sake, remind him to never become a dad. 
“Do you like my sister?” Yuuji had asked him out of nowhere one afternoon after he just got home from preschool, stacking a blue cube over a yellow one at the dining table.
“Uhh,” Gojo starts. He wondered if your mom had put a wire on the kid, so his answer was as diplomatic as he could manage. “Yeah, she’s cool. You’ve got a cool sister.”
“But. But.” Yuuji stutters, trying to find his big boy words. He stretches up higher to reach the top of his stack of blocks, but he only has so much arm real estate at the age of five. “Do you like her like you wanna kiss her?”
Gojo grabs the block from the kid’s hand, for a moment questioning Yuuji’s decision to want to put a blue block over another blue block, but he figures aesthetics are the least of a kid’s concern, and so he places the block where Yuuji wanted it. 
Why does the kid know what kissing is anyway? Do kids know that kind of stuff at that age? Isn’t a kiss to a five-year-old just something their mom gives to them before they head off to preschool for the day? And not something that happens between adult men and women? Maybe he should stop watching that adult swim in front of him.
“No. I don’t want to kiss your sister,” he says, again, because he is suspicious of a wire. It was a lie and then some, because he wants to do a lot more than just kiss you.
Gojo lifts the RedBull he was nursing up to his lips and watches Yuuji in the corner of his eye as the kid stares at his growing stack of blocks with a concentrated expression on his face, his chubby fingers squeezing tightly into little round dimpled balls, like he’s putting together all his tiny brain cells together to form another coherent thought before turning to face Gojo on the chair.
“It’s ok. You can kiss her if you wan’ed to. You can marry her too,” Yuuji says.
Gojo almost spits out his RedBull. He barely manages to swallow it, a broken cough immediately leaving his throat when some of the liquid goes down the wrong pipe and he’s smacking a fist against his chest to knock the sanity back into himself.
“Where the fu—…where the flip did that come from?” he asks, blinking back tears from the rasp in his throat.
Yuuji’s small shoulders sulk as he sits back on his heels. “I want a papa.”
Oh fuck that hurt. Jesus christ, there was nothing more sad than that. Yuuji has literally never known what it’s like to have a dad, since his had left before he was even born. Gojo’s not really close to his old man by any means, but he had still been a fatherly figure in some pivotal moments when he had needed it growing up. Kids need their dads. And he’s seen enough people lose their way without one to know that the value of them is really underestimated.
He’s also kind of shocked that Yuuji really did think of you as his motherly figure. Maybe since it had always just been him and his dad, Gojo learned how to self sustain from a young age, and he and his dad became accustomed to just looking after their own interests to avoid the headache of tending to one another. My land is my land, and your land is yours, and there was the occasional Saturday night spent together with his dad’s millions of beer bottles emptied dry on the carpet in front of the 1992 box TV as the two shared a greasy pizza from the place down the street. That was the extent of family solidarity that he knew.
But he can’t imagine being barely eighteen and having to take care of your little brother all by yourself because your mom was too busy trying to put food on the table and was too poor to hire a babysitter. Your mom tried so damn hard to keep you away from the single teenage mother life, but somehow ended up giving it to you by proxy in the end anyway. It was no wonder you wanted space now that Yuuji’s a little older and your mom can afford a babysitter. No matter how much you might love your sibling, being their effective guardian out of pure necessity had to have taken a toll.
Gojo clears his throat before he speaks. “Buddy. If I married your sister, we’d be brothers. I wouldn’t be your dad.” 
Yuuji’s eyes light up at the word brother. “Brothers? Me and you?”
“Yeah. Bros.”
The kid giggles, all bubbly with cheeks rounding fully and eyes sparkling. Gojo reaches out to ruffle at his hair before Yuuji gets down onto one stubby leg at a time from the chair then bolts towards the kitchen.
“Juice!!” he yells somewhere around the corner out of sight.
Gojo sighs, staring at all the toys he pulled out for Yuuji to play with, all left in a scattered mess across the table. He gets up out of his chair and heads towards the fridge. “Yeah, yeah. I’ll get you your juice, you little demon.”
The conclusion he comes to, and it might read like an obvious one, is that kids don’t really know the reality of life, hence why adults hide so much from them. 
This is what he thinks of tonight when he wraps his worn out boxing tape around his hands and his wrist, tightening it with his teeth, and he can smell the sweat and grime from them. The back of the underground gym had an old dated locker room, and as Gojo stretches his neck side to side while sitting on the stiff metal bench, he eyes the peeling red paint of the locker in front of him, blurring vision making it look like spilt blood. 
His phone pings with a text. He shuffles inside his duffle bag to look for it while his other hand scratches at his bare chest.
1:07am yuuji’s sis (no flirting): hhhhhhhhhiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii 1:07am yuuji’s sis (no flirting): omgomgomg sor y i’m 
He blinks at the screen, confusion flashing across his face. He types one letter, but then he sees three dots and a speech text bubble in the bottom left, so he waits for you.
1:09am yuuji’s sis (no flirting): i drunk :(
The corner of his mouth ticks up slightly. 
1:09am Gojo Satoru: Yeah I can tell
1:10am yuuji’s sis (no flirting): at a apartyyyy
His eyebrows raise slightly, the thought of you tipsy on some frat party couch flashing through his mind, yet of all things you could be doing at that frat party, you’re texting him? Must be a really boring party.
1:11am yuuji’s sis (no flirting): whyyy are you aawake?
1:12am Gojo Satoru: Couldn’t sleep 1:12am Gojo Satoru: Don’t you have a midterm in the morning?
1:14am yuuji’s sis (no flirting): wtf hwo do you knwo that
1:15am Gojo Satoru: Your mom keeps your schedule posted on the fridge
1:15am yuuji’s sister (no flirting): im so fucked;’;(((
He snorts. He’s got a bit more life experience than you, five-ish years to be exact, more than enough time to master the no-hangover hangout, but just before he can offer you some advice, he sees another text from you. 
1:16am yuuji’s sister (no flirting): can i tell u smething 
His gaze flits up to the ceiling briefly, and he hears commotion outside the thick walls of the locker room. The previous fight was over, and fast. The guy must’ve been knocked out in under twenty seconds tops, which means that Gojo was next up against whatever superbeast just beat him up. 
1:17am Gojo Satoru: Sure
He stands up, placing his phone down on the bench before he flexes the muscles in his arms a couple times to get the blood flowing into them. And there’s the noise of another ping. Actually, four.
1:14am yuuji’s sis (no flirting): sonetimes 1:14am yuuji’s sis (no flirting): i thikn of  1:14am yuuji’s sis (no flirting): when u kisse me 1:14am yuuji’s sis (no flirting): *kissed me
His eyes widen slightly, irises dry to the ashy cigarette smoke from outside lingering in the air, and his heart rate picks up a bit. An adrenaline junkie with close to no fear in his veins due to the way his amygdala’s been fried to a crisp from years of boxing, yet he’s got his breath hitched from the memory of your soft lips against his. It makes the blood rushing through the muscles of his arms rush somewhere down south instead.
Loud banging on the door of the locker room jolts him out of his trance, and he’s stiff around the edges once more.
“Satoru! You’re up, man,” he hears Danny, the fight coordinator, yell at him from the other side of the heavy & poorly-installed steel door.
Gojo sighs, glancing down at the texts on his phone. To respond, or not to respond. You’re off your face, clearly chatty from the alcohol, and he knows for certain you’ll regret every life decision you’ve ever made once you wake up in the morning and see the self sabotaging behaviors you’ve engaged in tonight. He knows that responding to you might put you at ease rather than straight up ignoring you, but the feeling will pass, and he has a match to win with no more room left to stall.
He makes his way out the locker room, pushing past the crowded halls of people underneath dim flashing club lighting, some dudes angrily jerking to face him when he pushes past them with a stiff shoulder, only for their eyes to widen when they see just exactly who pushed them. 
There’s strippers in the ring, doing some routine for pre-match, and Gojo narrows his eyes at the man he sees laying back over the rubber boundary rope, head tipped back up to the ceiling with a wicked grin on his face. So that was his opponent? He’s never seen the guy before. Was he from a different district? Different district talent was tough, you had no background info on them, while they’ve been preparing to be here for weeks. Hence why boxers tend to do better when they visit a different district than they do in their own. There have been rules made to limit these types of fights, mostly over outrage that it was unfair to bid on them, but they were also usually more entertaining to watch. Gojo’s got a sick feeling to his stomach as the strippers clear the ring.
“Hey,” Gojo calls out, grabbing Danny by the back of his collar and dragging him towards him and away from the girls stepping down onto the floor, “what’s in for this fight?”
Danny glances up at the ceiling. “Tarp’s bettin’ tonight, so it can’t be anything less than ten grand for you. I’d say tops fifteen?”
Gojo narrows his eyes further, then glances off into the ring again. The man stands up, and Gojo gets a better look on his face. He’s got short hair, neon green in color with a dark fade underneath and tattoos all over his face. But those eyes. They were freakishingly red, and it made him uneasy. He knows the type. The type of boxers that do this to genuinely hurt people for thrill. Make no mistake, Gojo understands he’s made himself out to be like that too, gaining some kind of rush out of this profession, but this type of fighter was different. The type to literally continue smashing a dude’s face into the floor until they’re a bloody mess even minutes after the winning call, and no referee to stop it because that’s the kind of action the spectators wanted.
Danny reads his line of sight. “That’s Gale. Newton’s new boxing toy. Came outta nowhere about a month ago. He’s undefeated so far in his district, and Newton specifically wanted to see you up against him tonight,” Danny tells Gojo, resting his elbow up on his bare shoulder. “Chances are he’ll compete with Tarp for final bid if you win this one. I’m talking twenty-five grand in the next if you can knock him out in this.”
“Uh-huh,” Gojo acknowledges, rolling his shoulder so Danny’s elbow falls from it. Forget the money, he just wants to make it out of this alive.
He sets his foot up on the square, ducking through the dividing boundary straps and the tacky caution construction tape that the gym thinks creates an exciting ambience. He hears the static of the speakers as the announcers call out Gojo’s name, then this other guy, loud bass club music booming through Gojo’s chest as he tries to take a few deep breaths through the thick air of this low-ceiling arena. 
The dim overhead lights flickered, casting shadows over the makeshift ring, and the crowd pressed tight around at every perimeter area, yelling and pushing, one even tosses a beer bottle on the square and it shatters, spreading glass all across, a few shards reaching Gojo’s feet and he looks down at them with a shudder. A fight immediately breaks out in the crowd over something related or possibly entirely unrelated, and he’d have no way of knowing as he swipes the shards away with his heel.
The influential men always sat up on higher seating, off towards the back in their own VIP section where they suck in the smoke of fat cigarettes and peer through 100% tinted sunglasses to assess the boxers they’ve bid thousands on. The light reflects off the golden grills of their teeth with every snarl at any passerby that gets too close, like a lion in its den. That’s what the sanction was called. Lion’s den.
Gojo sighed, eyeing the twisted grin of this Gale guy across from him. Was that his real name? Usually, foreign district guys get nicknames. Gojo’s always thought the nicknames were tacky, and he’s accumulated some of his own over the years, but to his ears, none of them ever really landed, although The White Fox admittedly was kinda nice. Reminded him of throwback shooting games. 
He sucked a breath in through his teeth, holding his hands up in front of his chest in weak fists, storing energy in them in the form of pure anticipation alone, and then the bell rang.
His opponent lunged towards him immediately, fists flying in a barrage of reckless strikes, and Gojo’s eyes momentarily widened in the briefest moments of hesitation he had been allowed before ducking and dodging every one of this guy's shots, then jumping a step back to create distance.
Fuck. He was fast. Not just boxer fast, athlete fast. There was a difference. And it wasn’t a good one to be up against.
Gojo picked up light on his feet. He couldn’t win this one fast, that much was certain. One single careless or reckless move, and he’ll get tackled. He knows that by the malicious look he sees on that guy’s face, grin wide like he’s some cannibalistic beast. 
Stepping back towards the center, Gojo purposefully set himself up for Gale to swipe a vicious hook towards his head, before Gojo last minute ducked down, crouched to the floor, and swung his leg out to knock the guy off balance by his ankles, and he falls onto his back with a loud thud!
There’s a moment of momentary silence from the crowd, right before Gojo put the man in a torso-lock, twisting him in a way a human body should absolutely not be twisted, hearing the grunts of pain and the crack of spine even through the shouts of the crowd.
He can hear it. Kill him! Knock his fucking teeth out! Snap his neck like a goose, man! FIN-ISH HIM! FIN-ISH HIM! FIN-ISH HIM!
He feels like throwing up. 
Gojo looks up at the referee, who wasn’t really a referee, just there to run the clock when there was action and only barely stop it before near death. “This is enough, right?” he asks.
The referee nods. “1-0, next round.”
Gojo lets go of his opponent, leaving him there to heave for a moment before he gets up onto his feet again. Just needs one more, and he’s a winner. Ten grand in his pocket, and he won’t have to come back here for a couple weeks.
Gale gets up, swiping at the spit that had trickled out the corner of his mouth down to his chin, and he had an enraged look on his face. The second the bell rang for the second round, he exploded forward towards Gojo with even more fervor than before, gritted expression with a thirst for violence fueling the storm of punches he was throwing towards Gojo but he tried to remain calm, light on his feet, swiftly duck and avoid before he can find another opportunity to clear a sharp, clean jab right to the ribs—
sometimes, i think of when you kissed me
Gojo misses his strike, leaving his guard wide open, and Gale takes the opportunity to land a solid punch straight to his jaw, sending his mouth guard flying straight out of his mouth into the air, and knocking him backwards onto the ground with a thud and then he finds himself staring up at the rusting metal ceiling and a ringing in his ears that almost matches the roar of the crowd.
His head is in a haze, dizzy like where one second could feel like a millennia. He feels a soreness underneath his chin, a pain that radiates to his mouth, and he briefly swipes his tongue over his front teeth to make sure he still has all of them. 
What the fuck was that? That intrusive thought. There’s no intrusive thoughts allowed in life or death situations, not when he was always just one smash to the head away from a permanent concussion. But, fuck, he can’t help it. Can’t help thinking of you. Even when his vision has gone blurry and he should really be weary about what happens next in this ring, his mind’s just thinking about you, at some frat party, tipping back shots of tequila and waiting for a text-back in response to your tipsy ones. Were you even waiting up on him? Have you already passed out on the couch, or were your friends dragging you back to your dorm? Or are you fucking some other dude right now? Has he got his hand up your top, squeezing at you, sleazily feeling you up before spilling beer all down your shirt, and are you kissing him back with the same enthusiasm, your phone now somewhere long slipped between the cushions of the couch and out of sight?
Even though it’s still sore, he tenses his jaw. Grinds his teeth, even. Tasting blood somewhere along the line of his gums, he realizes his lip is split. He licks at it, the flavor of copper more rich on his tongue, and he clenches his fists tightly. Why’s he thinking of that right now? It just pisses him off, the thought of you with some other dude. Maybe that’s what he needs to win this fight. Spite. Although he’s not sure why the guy across from him at the ring has to pay for it.
He lifts his head up off the ground, and while it felt like years he had been down, a glance at the timer tells him it’s only been a solid four seconds. A solid four seconds that his opponent had to fully charge a lunge towards him with the look of death in his face, raising his elbow up into the air in time with his leap, ready to come straight down, and Gojo’s eyes widen at the sight above him from where he’s still lying on the wood.
“Shit—” he cusses, rolling his body over to the side so that the dude falls straight down onto the floor rather than elbow Gojo in the fucking ribs, and then he gets back up on his feet. 
Stakes were high, he has to end this, he has to end this now, and he flexes the muscle in his right bicep, channeling everything he has into this one blow, and before Gale even really has a chance to turn around and face him again, Gojo’s already three-fourths set up a knockout undercut that he drives straight up the guy’s chin, with so much force it has him lifting up off the floor, a vertebrate stretch to his spine before he’s sent flying backwards and slammed against the tight rubber lining of the ring to where he was half hanging over it.
The room fell silent for a split second, then erupted in a roar as the referee fell to one knee beside Gale, checking him for any semblance of consciousness, and when he found none, he waves the match off. 
Gojo’s eyes flit up towards the lion’s den, the only opinions that he really needed to care about were sitting in those mahogany chairs with glasses of scotch swirling around in their hands, and he sees some of them looking straight at Gojo before leaning towards one another and discretely talking about something he can’t make out because he doesn’t know how to read lips.
He feels someone tug at his arms from behind, pulling him to crouch down and he balances back on the balls of his feet. He glances down through the ring at the floor. Danny was leaning against the wooden surface of it. “Dude. Go.” He jerks his head towards Gale, who still laid there sprawled across the now stretched out rubber perimeter bands. “Go fuck him up. Knock a few more teeth out, I don’t know, get some more blood out of him.”
“What?” Gojo huffs, yanking his arm away from Danny’s grip. “The fuck are you saying?”
“I told you, man, Newton’s here and he’s got his eye on you. Go give him a show,” Danny says, “do it.” And when he sees clear frustration on Gojo’s face he sighs. “Twenty-five grand, consider that, will you?”
Gojo sneers at the man, an awful taste in his mouth as he spits blood towards Danny’s feet. “Go fuck yourself on his cock if he wants a show that bad.” And then he ducks underneath the bands and hops back down onto the floor, pushing past people who were trying to grab at him and pull at him and lift him up and even throw him down until he made it through flashing hallways and back to the locker room.
He shuts the door behind him, sliding the bolt lock into the frame so no one can follow him inside, and then he leans his weight back against the chilling steel before tipping his head back until it hits the surface too.
He lets out of a few deep breaths, then stares down at the sting he finds over his knuckles. Red and blistering from the last punch he delivered, and he’s almost certain he broke a bone in his hand. Fuck. It was bleeding across the cuts, too. He had to figure out a way to get it all healed by tomorrow, as if that was humanly possible, just because he doesn’t want Yuuji questioning him about it.
Yuuji. For fucks sake, when has he ever thought about the kid this much? When has he ever thought about much of anything when he’s out here or in the ring? He’s a babysitter by day. He’s a “part” of your family when the sun is up and normal functioning society is breathing their lives into the clean air. That’s it. He’s no five-year-old’s caretaker in front of all these primetime drug lords, and he certainly shouldn’t be thinking of you when facing big, burly men he’s aiming to rough up, all within the dead hours of night. So then how come these thoughts are on his mind at all times, twenty-four-seven, around the clock?
He heads further into the locker room, glancing down at the bench where he’d left his phone, then picks it up, neck craned all the way down to glance at the screen as he holds his phone by his hip because he doesn’t have any energy to pick it up any further towards his eyesight. 
He sees your messages. You never sent any follow-up ones, just your horrendously typed out sonetimes, i thikn of when u kisse me *kissed me across the span of four texts, and Gojo runs a tired hand down his face.
He tips his head back to groan at the ceiling, guttural with no basis other than a release of all the pent up frustration of every sort, then he types in a couple messages to you,
3:23am Gojo Satoru: That’s nice 3:24am Gojo Satoru: I think about fucking you all the time 
—and then tosses his phone into his duffel bag to call it a night.
⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘
You’re awoken to your alarm blaring heavily, and you whack your arm across your nightstand table beside your tiny twin-size bed to hit the snooze button, then rub your eye with a loose fist while smacking at the residual taste of alcohol you have on your tongue. 
“Mm…” you mumble to yourself. And then the thirst hits you. The overwhelming, intense, unquenchable thirst that leaves your mouth feeling like the Sahara desert before you grab your twice-dented Hydroflask from the nightstand, twist the cap off and chug about twenty ounces of water in one breath. 
You let out a deep exhale and fall back into bed, your hand resting on top of your water-filled tummy, and you stare up at the ceiling of your dorm. 
Last night was horrible. You knew you shouldn’t have gone to that frat party, especially given you have an exam in—you checked the time on your phone—about an hour, and an hour was not enough time to recover from the raging hangover headache that’s pounding through your head. But your roommates insisted you went, and so go you did. You never knew what to expect, always torn between shaving your pussy before you go or throwing on a stained pair of sweatpants to keep the guys away instead. Sometimes, it was a combination of both. But last night, you ended up drinking more than you usually do, and that always led to poor, poor, poor decisions, in which all the sense of pride you had in yourself was washed down with the puke that you hurled into the upstairs toilet. 
You grab at your phone again, briefly seeing that your friends had sent you some photos from the night. You immediately swiped off to the side to dismiss the notifications, because as far as you were concerned, you never wanted to see those photos in your life.
And then, in the briefest of moments, you saw a familiar name in your notifications that made you heart skip a beat.
Gojo Satoru (yuuji’s babysitter)
With an immediate gasp, you pulled your phone to your chest and held it there, blinking up at the pale yellow ceiling, your heart picking up in rhythm.
Oh fuck.
That was right.
You drunk texted him last night.
You drunk texted your little brother’s hot babysitter.
Fuck.
Mortified was an understatement, possibly because you don’t even remember what you said, and so you don’t even want to see what he replied with.
You groan, rubbing both your hands across your face then kick your sheets back with your feet like a child having a temper tantrum because you were so embarrassed you had even texted him at all last night. I mean, he was hot. A little older than you, really gorgeous eyes, tall, and, yeah, you gave him shit for the Instagram muscles thing, but that’s only because you thought he’d find it cheeky that you were trying to humble him despite the fact that he’s more toned and ruggedly sculpted than any other man you’ve ever met. You didn’t want to have a flustered schoolgirl attitude because it would just seep through to his ego.
In any case, he was hot, there was no denying it, so can you really blame yourself? But still. There was collateral with this. You had to see him every other weekend. He knows your family, even your extended since they invited him to Thanksgiving dinner a couple weeks ago. A high-risque drunk text recipient if he ever was one (of course he has been, look at that face). Why couldn’t you have just drunk texted ECON160 guy from last semester who Clit DJ’d you underneath your desk at the back of the lecture hall instead?
The thing that made you nervous about Gojo Satoru was that he was just so…confident? Like, in that I was raised to be this way confident and not that I fought inner demons my whole life to barely end up this way confident, y’know? Never had to fake it ‘til he made it, he just was. At least that was the kind of energy you got from him, and unfortunately for you, it was nerve wracking but enticing all at the same time.
You sigh. “Stupid. Stupid. Stuuuuuupiiiiidddddddddddd. You. Are. So. Stuuuuuupiiiiddddddd,” you sigh, running your hands through your hair to grip at the strands.
You pull your phone away from your chest, and finally brave yourself to read the texts from your notifications screen, but not without blurring your vision a little to further stall. And then you finally refocus it to read them. The first one you see has you gasping—
3:24am Gojo Satoru (yuuji’s babysitter): I think about fucking you all the time 
It has heat spreading across your cheeks, and you blink at your screen, then quickly swipe up to read the previous messages with rushed glides of your index finger on the screen to see that he had sent it to you in response to your barely coherent texts about how you still so often think about that time he randomly pressed you up against the door of your bedroom to kiss you that night you first met him.
I think about fucking you all the time
At 3 in the morning? He decided to send that text at 3 in the fucking morning? That was the devil’s hour. What’s he trying to tell you? 
Oh come on, you’re not stupid. And you know he isn’t either. The sexual tension was palpable, it was there since the day you two met and you almost stabbed him, and also everytime you were visiting the house, and his shoulder brushes against yours when he’s trying to get past you in the kitchen, or when you’ve got Yuuji in your arms and the kid is clinging to Gojo’s sleeve because he wants him near him at all times. There’s even sexual tension over the phone, in those stupid texts he sends you all the time about meaningless child care stuff, and honestly, those little updates made your day.
But… you don’t know much about him, and your mom would kill you if she ever found out you wanted him. And she’d probably pulverize him if she found out he ever made a move on you. Cremated without leaving a trace behind would be an understatement. She thinks he’s no good and she thinks you’re too good. You know she’s warned him before to not get close to you, as if she was pre-emptively expecting him to try to get in your pants like it was some canon force of the universe, hence why he’s probably so fucking awkward around you whenever she’s there too. Like if he accidentally got caught staring at your ankles, your mom would light him on fire, so he’d rather not risk it by just avoiding looking at you at all.
Your mom has always been protective of you. Your father was a deadbeat, one she thought she loved, only to watch him leave. And she had to raise a baby all by herself. He re-entered your lives right before you graduated high school, knocked up your mom again with Yuuji, and guess what? Left again without a trace. To be doubly humiliated by a man is a fate you wouldn’t wish on any woman, but that’s exactly what your mom went through. It was a wake-up call for her, though. No more living paycheck to paycheck like you had been your whole lives up until Yuuji was born. The kid doesn’t even know how lucky he is with everything he has right now. Your mom worked her way up the corporate ladder and made something of herself and now you guys were comfortable, so it was safe to say she had some sort of right to look after her daughter, of whom she simply doesn’t want to follow in the same naive footsteps of her youth.
You get it. She wants to break the generational cycle. But it made being with men tough on all fronts, let alone dating. You could never bring a guy home because he’d never be enough, even if he cured cancer or could make you orgasm while doing a sixty-nine handstand. And while her overbearing paranoia over what you do or where you are or who you’re with has since dimmed slightly since you officially moved out to finish your last year of higher education at NYU, you can still feel her disappointment from a hundred miles away when you’re making out with some random frat guy on his beer-stained couch at eleven AM on a Tuesday.
But you got to college. You’ve already made it this far. You’re on dean’s list. You graduated high school as salutatorian. You’re the most highly decorated cello player in the state. You won Miss County pageant when you were sixteen for your philanthropic efforts towards feline leukemia. You did online community college for three years so you could stick back after high school and help your mom raise Yuuji, which meant that you had to forfeit your scholarship to Cornell. You’ve spent your whole life being good, you just wanna be bad for a little bit.
And if bad meant fucking the hot and mysterious babysitter, then so be it. 
You pick your phone up, begin blasting what the hell by Avril Lavigne on your dorm room bluetooth speaker, then type a message to him that says—
10:34am you: do it then
—then shove your phone under the sheets and belt out the lyrics aaaall my life i’ve been good, but now, ahhhh i’m thinkin’ what the hell!!! while kicking your feet and clutching your pillow.
⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘
Gojo has no clue what divine entity has overcast their gratuitous spirit over him on this blessed Monday afternoon, but he’ll thank them for it later once his balls are empty. 
He’s got you on your back, sprawled across the couch in the living room, the first fuck being a rushed one that you offered him with before he has to go pick Yuuji up from circle time at preschool, which wasn’t ideal, but he’s delirious at the sight of you underneath him right now. Your little NYU shirt, a tighter one this time, bunched up over your bare breasts, otherwise entirely naked other than the flimsy panties dangling at your ankle, and the view of the tip of his cock looking hot and heavy against the velvet of your cunt, slowly pushing in, feeling the warmth of your walls squeeze around him paired with the sweet moan that leaves your lips, makes him fall forward with a bracing hand dug into the cushion by the side of your head because the sensation feels so fucking good he can hardly keep himself upright.
“Fuck, you’re so tight,” he grunts, pushing himself in further to try and bottom out but he’s still got a couple inches he needs you to take, and so you curl your hips upwards towards the cieling to make more room for him, practically putting yourself into a mating press and soon enough he’s balls deep, “you on any birth control?”
“Uh-huh,” you moan, eyes closed and head tipped back with one hand squeezing your own tit.
“I can cum inside then, yeah?” he asks you, pushing your knees to your chest, slowly drawing his hips back and you squirm underneath him.
“Let’s get there first, and then we’ll discuss,” you breathe out.
“I’ve been there for the past ten minutes, baby. I could cum at any second with the way you look and feel,” he informs you flatly, because it was just the truth and you had to know it, then he feels himself twitch inside, slowly working up to a languid rhythm, almost fearfully like your mom’s going to pop out somewhere around the corner with a camera crew ready like one of those retro TV shows just to humiliate him on national television for not keeping it in his pants like she’d told him to. 
“Harder,” he hears you whisper, and he rolls his eyes shut to just focus on the feeling. The feeling of your nails grazing down the skin of his chest and his abs, tracing the scars he’s collected over the years, and he feels you tightening around him. He leans down to kiss you, fucking you properly now with the squeak of the couch springs echoing across the room, your hums of moans seeping through his lips until he’s fully taking them on with an open-mouthed kiss of sloppy tongue. 
The fact that it was wrong felt right to him, and he realizes in this moment he’s lost all sense of control. He wasn’t just an adrenaline junkie that liked to rough up dudes, he was an adrenaline junkie that wanted to fuck you against all better judgement or moral compass. The way your tits were bouncing, the slap of skin on skin, his balls slapping against your ass while you wrap your legs around him tighter, all convincing him that any consequence made it worth it.
“Good,” he groans the praise, pinning your hands above your head as he rams his hips against yours, your cute moans and squeals sounding like literal music to his ears and he feels heat spread all the way up his neck, “goooood, keep squeezin’ me like that, fuck.” He slows down momentarily, just to take a moment and watch, really look and see the way his length disappears inside of your pretty self with every push forward, and then he works back up to a relentless pace that has you tipping your head back with a slack jaw and eyes closed tightly shut, sprained expression of pleasure spread across.
“Oh, oh my god, Satoru—” you mewled and he felt dizzy from the sound of his name from your softly parted lips.
“Fuck, I’m gonna—” His hand finds it’s way between your legs, calloused pads of his fingers brushing against your clit and you jolt underneath him, gasping as your hand shoots out to dig your nails into his bicep for purchase. “I’m gonna cum, better tell me where you want it.”
“In me,” you moan, “nowhere else.”
He presses his mouth against your cheek in a lazy smile, “Atta girl,” he drawls before pushing your ankles down as far as they’d go near your ears, folding you in half and then reigns all hell into your cunt. He should really care a bit more about your pleasure, but testing your flexibility like this with both his hands holding you down was doing sinful things to his brain, and besides, you had yourself covered with the messy circles you were rubbing over your clit. It was hot to see that too, your nimble pretty fingers so close to the place where he was pounding into you. 
“Oh shit, shit, shit—” he grunts when starts to see blistering white in his vision, balls straining with a pleasure that was almost painful. The moment he finishes feels like hot flashes in his brain, a heat like the cum he begins to paint inside your walls in time with your release, thrusting over and over and over, each one more staggered as he lets off a long, drawn out groan that comes from deep within his chest with the feeling of you milking him dry and the sound of you enjoying every second of it. He can’t remember the last time he came this much or this hard and even after coming down from the high, he feels the remnant pulse of your orgasm around his now half-flaccid dick.
He leisurely pulls out, hearing you let out a soft whimper as he marvels at the sight of his cum slowly dripping out of you and down towards the couch, before he scoops it up with a couple fingers and pushes it back inside. You grip his wrist tightly, but you weren’t stopping it, that motion of him plunging it all back into you.
“Want a taste?” he asks, casually.
“Mhm,” you nod, face looking flush.
He pulls his fingers out of you, coated with sex, then plugs your pussy with the fingers of his other hand because he kinda likes the idea of you walking around all day with him inside of you, so he doesn’t want it getting out. He’s then pushing his other fingers past your lips, pleased to find he’s met with not even so much as a grazing of teeth, and he grins, “bet you take a dick in your mouth as good as you take it down here.”
Your furrow your brows at him, the pout of your lips seen in the way they were puckered to lick his fingers off clean, and when you release the suction with a smack of your tongue and his fingers were wet from your saliva now, his eyes narrow with desire. You push his face away with the heel of your palm to his forehead. “Flattery won’t make me suck your dick.”
“Alright. So? How is it?” he jerks his chin towards your face, pushing against your hand with his forehead until he’s hovering over you again, “taste good?”
“It’s cum, Satoru.”
He shrugs. “Bad?”
“No,” you say, and you can’t make eye contact, “good.” You sigh. “Hot. I don’t know. Salty, sweet. I’m the sweet. You’re the salty. And this conversation is obscene.”
He kisses you, capturing your lips softly, tongue darting out to taste what’s on yours. “I like it that way. Dirty. Nasty. Obscene, whatever.”
There’s the slam of a car door heard from the driveway, and the two of you instantly make eye contact with round eyes.
“Sa—” you stutter, “Satoru.”
He gets up off the couch in a panic, and heads to the window of the living room fully butt-ass naked, then peers through the blinds to see—
Your mom was making it up towards the front door, rustling with her keys in her purse. And the last thing he sees before he turns around to face you is her pushing the keys through the lock.
“Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit,” he cusses, finding his boxers off of the floor, hopping on one foot with his cum & slick coated dick flapping around and slapping against his thighs unceremoniously as he tries to get one leg in through them and then the other. You’re trembling as you hook your panties back into place, pull your shirt back down your torso, and even in his extremely panicked state, he’s still sad he can’t freely stare at your tits anymore. You’re rummaging for your skirt in a haste, looking everywhere for it, and he finds it underneath the coffee table before tossing it to you and then he side-to-side hops towards the coat closet while he pulls his sweatpants up over his ass, in time for you to quickly run and shut the door of the closet closed just before the front door of the house swings open.
The inside of the coat closet is dark, barely enough space in there for a six-foot-four two-hundred-and-twenty pound man, but it’s better than being balls deep inside his boss’s daughter on the couch when said boss just came home from work.
He hears conversation on the other side of the door, albeit muffled, and he presses his ear to it to hear better while he tucks his dick into his boxers from where it was hanging over the waistline.
“Mom! You…you’re home so early,” he hears you squeak out.
“Yes,” your mom says, “The rest of my meetings today are online, so I figured I’d come home when there’s less traffic.”
Gojo feels you lean against the coat closet door.
“I see, I see, how was your day at work?” you ask with a tremble in your voice.
“Fine.” And then nothing. The silence could mean that was all she had to say, since your mom wasn’t really a woman of many words, or it could be a silence that means she’s suspicious about something. “Darling, why is your skirt flipped up and tucked into your panties? Your whole butt is showing.”
Through the wood of the door, he hears you softly gasp. “Oh, um, I just went to pee. Must’ve—…must’ve got caught when I pulled it back up.” 
“I see,” your mother says, and Gojo can hear her dropping her heels down near the shoe rack at the entrance. “You know, I really don’t like those short skirts you wear often. Maybe it’s just your generation, but I think it looks tacky and cheap.”
“Mom,” you say, in as stern of a voice as you can manage without sounding embarrassed.
Your mother sighs. “In any case, where is Satoru? I still would like him to go pick up Yuuji. I don’t have the patience to sit in preschool & daycare traffic right now.”
“Oh gosh, I don’t know,” you chirp, and then he hears you let out a small oh no before you lean even more weight against the door, this time somewhere lower, and he realizes you’re pressing your ass against it. His eyes narrow with a small frown, and then he realizes— his cum must still be trickling down your thighs. You couldn’t put your panties on fast enough. 
Shit. That’s hot. A little fucked up, but hot. He feels his dick harden against the fabric of his boxers, and he rests his forehead against the door, fringe stuck to his forehead with sweat as he slips his hands down his sweatpants and then gives his cock a firm squeeze. The thought of you discretely swiping his cum up your inner thigh and smearing it against your thin panties so your mom doesn’t catch sight of it dripping down your legs has him slowly working up to a rock-solid erection, and he almost lets out a broken grunt from the feeling.
“What?” your mother says, “what do you mean you don’t know?”
“I’ve just been watching TV this whole time,” you say, “last time I saw him…he was…um, in the backyard pulling weeds?”
He lets out a small scoff through his nose at your cover-up. Cute. And not bad. 
Your mother sighs loudly, and he glances down at the strained veins on his dick as he tugs it through his hand, the tip rearing and appearing flushed and dripping with precum. God, you were just on the other side of this door. Less than a few inches away, and he’d be inside of you. 
“I’m going to take a shower. Go find him and tell him to pick up Yuuji soon. But before then, change into something less revealing,” your mother says in a more or less detached tone, and he can hear the stomps of her footsteps up the stairs from above him in the coat closet.
The two of you wait at least a solid minute, and just when the coast is clear, he hears you turn the knob of the coat closet and slowly crack it open.
“Okay, I think she’s in the shower, I hear the water running,” you whisper at him, “you can go now—” You glance down towards his groin, your jaw dropping. “What—…Satoru, why the fuck is your dick staring at me right now?!” you whisper-hiss at him.
He pulls you into the coat closet, pushing your front against the door to where it clicks shut, and you gasp when his hands pin your wrists crossed behind your back and his dick presses into the plush of your ass.
“You talkin’ to your mom while your pussy’s stuffed full of my cum was the single hottest thing that’s ever grazed my lizard brain,” he tells you, flipping your skirt up and hooking your panties to the side, his index finger briefly brushing against your entrance to find it still leaking from the way your walls were pulsating from his words. And then he aligns his tip to your entrance. “Now keep quiet while I do this, ‘kay?”
“Oh—” you gasp, your cheek pressed against the door as you arch your back and push your ass out for him, “okay—” you say, barely vocalizing the first syllable before he’s already stuffing himself inside of you with one solid glide of a push, making you yelp loudly and he has to instantly cup a hand over your mouth.
“Shhhhhh,” he hisses at you, immediately starting to pound you from behind, “told you to— fuuuck,” he catches sight of his length covered with a mix of your glassy arousal and his white cum, now starting to cream at the base of his cock, “jesus christ—” he breathes out, squeezing the flesh of your ass harshly with his other hand and you let out another yelp, “I told you to fuckin’ keep quiet.”
“I’m—mff,” you muffle against his palm, “I’m trying but,” your hips move back in time with his, “feels good, feels too good,” you mewl, and his hand desperately yanks up the fabric of your shirt so he can squeeze at your breast.
“Yeah?” he grunts, hypocritical for telling you to keep it down when he was slamming his hips against your ass with so much fervor he wouldn’t be surprised if the sound was reverberating across the entire house, “you like it when I fuck you while your mom’s all clueless just up the stairs?” His rhythm falters, feeling his release building, and his hand reaches in front of you to rub your clit, making you drop your head against the door with tightly closed eyes. “Gets— you—wet, doesn’t it?” he torments you, his lips near your ear as he slams his hips against you harshly with every enunciated syllable. 
“Mhm, mhm,” you easily agree, or maybe that’s because it’s all you can really articulate, and he angles his hips up so his balls slap more fervently against your clit, making you scream into his palm while he picks up the pace of the circles he draws on your clit and in one, two, three— beats of his pounding heart, he feels you come undone around his cock, gushing wetness leaking out of you, he can feel the mess of fluids splattering on the skin of his thighs due to each of his heaving thrusts as he cusses out a fuuuuuuckkk before spilling his cum inside of you, a short-lived and thicker release this time that has you mewling from overstimulation, and in a few following thrusts, he’s given you everything he had to give.
His eyes open, he wasn’t even aware he had shut them in the first place, and he glances down at where the two of you were joined. Rings of arousal coat the length of his half-pulled-out dick, and the second he retreats all of it, a bulging push of his cum seeps out of you, dripping and pooling all over the hardwood floors.
“Holy shit, I wish I could take a picture of this,” he says, taking a step away to commit the sight to memory, your legs trembling and still slightly spread, ass pushed out and when you wiggle it a little, he lets out a huff of an exhale because he just can’t believe how sexy you are. Are all college girls like this? He’s never been to college, his old man’s been trying to get him to go for years, but maybe this is what finally convinces him.
“No pics,” you breathe out once you catch your breath, standing up straight slowly, “that’s my one sex rule.”
He takes a step closer to you, flipping your skirt back over your ass while you shimmy your shirt down to cover your chest. “That’s the only rule you have? Anything else goes?” he asks.
You spin around to face him, his eyes briefly flitting down to the still exposed skin of your midriff. “I have a feeling I’d be making up more specific rules if it was with you.”
He smiles, his hands grabbing your hips before pressing you up against the door again. “I also had a rule. It was to not fuck you. Wait, no, to not flirt with you. Which, technically, I didn’t do.”
You blink your eyes at him. “You’re kidding, right?”
“What?” he asks, genuinely confused, “I didn’t.”
“Huh—” you scoff, “how do you think we got into this situation in the first place?? You didn’t just say wanna fuck? You were insufferably flirty with me.”
“Nahhh nah nah nah nah, baby, that’s not flirting,” he tells you, thumb running circles over your hips, “that’s, like—…I don’t even fuckin’ know how it worked on you to be honest, I was just being stupid.”
“Oh okay so I’m stupid.”
“I never said you were stupid?”
“Well you said you were being stupid so me falling for it must mean I’m stupid.”
“Pshhh. You’re cute. Pulling weeds, by the way? Adorable.”
Your hand slowly roams up the front of his shirt, the fabric bunching at your wrists until you uncovered up to his collar bone, and you stare at his skin. He tries to not let the way his heart’s beating faster show through the heave of his chest. 
“Why do you have all these scars, anyway?” you whisper to him.   
“Too many girls tryna stab me,” he tells you.
You roll your eyes. “Seriously.” Your thumb traces the one you had left on him. 
“I—” He stops himself.
Does he tell you? Should he tell you? What, just because he’s seen you naked and you took his dick like a queen he’s supposed to open up to you about these things now? He doesn’t know. Maybe he could? Maybe you already suspect what he does at night. And if not, at the very least, I’m an underground boxer might make you think he’s hot? At the very worst, you’ll report him to the cops and he’d get fired as your little brother’s babysitter then thrown into jail, but not before the busted cartel gets him first.
“Maybe I’ll tell you some other time,” he says, his hand wrapping around your wrist and pulling it from his chest, “no hyper personal details until you’ve had my dick in your mouth at least once or twice. That’s my one rule.”
You snort. “I could’ve guessed that rule from a mile away.”
He hums. And then there’s the sound of steps creaking down the stairs above the two of you.
You both make eye contact, eyes widening, internally yelling at each other: how the fuck did we get into this situation twice?!
This time, Gojo opens the door and stumbles out of the closet, leaving you inside of it, just in time for your mom to come down the stairs.
“Satoru. I was looking for you,” she says as she rounds the post. “Have you picked up Yuuji? He has to go for his swimming lessons soon.”
“Ah, nope, was just about to head out,” he says, letting out a cough to diffuse tension, “sorry, I was—” he points his thumb over his shoulder to behind him, “…pulling out some gnarly weeds.”
She narrows her eyes at him. “I see. Well, thanks. If you want, I can add a gardening stipend to your paycheck. Let me know.” And he’s not sure how to respond because he’s not sure if she’s joking. 
He heads out the door, the keys to your mom’s minivan in his palm as he throws them up into the air and catches them a couple times. And just before he gets inside the car, he turns on his heel to face the house and pulls his phone out of his pocket to type in a message for you.
3:22pm Gojo Satoru: Send over those me-specific sex rules soon
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[the end]
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a/n. hope u enjoyed im shitting bricks posting this bc i haven't posted a oneshot smut since february but thanks so much for reading i appreciate u!! i got way too invested in the whole underground boxer thing 😂😂 but the fact i managed to keep everything under 12k is an accomplishment to me bc if u read my other fics you know i’m a yapper LOL i have another kind of a similarly written smut oneshot n it’s a lil angsty (totally different au tho) i’ll probs post that one next but yea i really like, hmm, i really like exploring entire characters within a short amount of time i enjoy writing the obscure lore drops xd it’s been kinda fun so far anywho much loveee hope to see u around! <3
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