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distortionbobble · 11 months

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pairing: michael 'mikey' berzatto x f!reader

warnings: angst with no happy ending, talks about substance abuse, no mention of mikey's s*icide

a/n: i don't know why i got the idea for this but then i started writing it and then more came and i couldn't stop and then it got a little too personal for me! so here we are. listened to dial drunk by noah kahan while writing this

wc 5K

You can’t cook for shit. And maybe that says something about you, says something about the way you were raised because your mother was a fuckin’ culinary genius but you didn’t seem to get much of that. You didn’t get much from your mother, including her time. But it didn’t matter much when you were younger, because your babysitter’s house was right next to the Berzatto’s. Natalie Berzatto happened to be just your age and she’d taken you in pretty damn quickly. After that, you were one of the Bears, no question about it. You looked after Carmy like he was your own brother, laughed at Richie’s jokes and called him Cousin like he was one. But Mikey…

Well, Mikey was another story.

And then you’d gotten swept off of your feet by your boyfriend, the one who promised that the two of you would be stars together in L.A. Chicago had been left behind, with Mikey and Richie and Sugar and Carmy in it. L.A. had been nice, at first— you were a waitress and he was looking for jobs. Then he stopped looking for jobs, and you were still a waitress. By the time you realized that you had walked into a dead end it had been five years, and you didn’t have anything to show for it. So you packed it up, headed back to Chicago and Natalie and Carmen and Richie and Michael. Back to your safe place. The Berzattos.

You stand before their house now with a tote bag full of farmers market veggies, something that you started doing when you were back in California. Your heart is in your throat— you’re nervous, you realize— but you knock and the door swings open almost instantly. Sugar stands before you, her typical sweetness held back by a reservation that you earned by calling her less and less as the years went by. You swallow, about to say something, but she pulls you in for a hug, and her arms feel like you never left.

“Hey, Spice,” she murmurs into your hair, squeezing you tight. Sugar and Spice, always together. That’s what the two of you were.

“Hey, Sug.”

“You didn’t call,” she whispers, still holding on to you tightly. She’s right, you know it, and there’s so much to tell her because of it. You just hold her tighter.

“I know. I’m sorry.” She pulls away from you, eyeing you up and down before she smiles brightly and pulls you into the kitchen.

“Carmy, Mikey, Richie, look alive! Guess who’s here!” She shouts, and the three all stop their chaotic kitchen shenanigans to look at you.

“Spice? No fuckin’ way. Finally left that jagoff for good, huh?” Richie jokes, pulling you in for a hug.

“Sure did, Cousin,” you grin, clapping his back. Richie may be a special breed of insane but you can’t deny the love you have for him.

“Good to see ya, Spice,” Carmy smiles, pulling you in for a side hug. Your awkward pseudo-little brother, the one who you helped with English in high school and always wanted to be around you and Sugar when you went out.

“You too, Carm.”

And then there was one.

Michael Berzatto stands in the middle of the kitchen, and he feels the way he always does, like he’s filled every part of the room and you’re connected to him even before you’re touching him.

“You look good, Spice,” he says. Your arms wrap around his middle and you hold him tight— he smells like oregano and parsley and spices, and you press your head into his chest as you let yourself be engulfed by him. It feels right, this.

“Thanks, Mikey Bear,” you say, lifting your head but still in his embrace. He smiles softly, brushing your cheekbone with the back of his knuckles and then releases you.

“So, like I was saying before Spice so rudely interrupted me, huh?” He grins, biting his tongue cheekily when you scoff in mock amusement. “Richie and I, we’re at the bar and this asshole, he’s all ‘Quit staring at my girl,’ but the chick had just spilled peanuts, like, all over the floor of the fuckin’ bar. Shit’s a mess, like bro, we’re just wondering if you’re gonna clean it up. Yeah, he did not like that. Not a little bit. So he gets all,” Mikey puffs up his chest and squares back his shoulders, staring down at you as he pretends to get up in your space. “And Richie and I, we’re like—“

“Dude, what the fuck?” Richie chimes in, laughing. “Wasn’t so funny three seconds later when he’s got a big ol’ kabar knife out and he’s slashing at Mikey’s bicep.”

“Yep, still got the scar,” Michael laughs, rolling up the sleeve of his t-shirt to show the silvery puckered skin on his upper arm.

“Chrissake, Mikey,” you laugh, reaching out to trace it with your fingers.

“Hey, Spice, you mind helping me prep the veggies?” Sugar asks from behind you.

“You sure you wanna have her doing that?” Carmy asks with a shy grin. “She might add her fingers or somethin’ to it, the klutz.”

“Still shit at cooking, huh, Spice?” Michael laughs at you. You narrow your eyes playfully.

“I’ll have you know, Michael Berzatto, that I can in fact make a mean grilled cheese. Just so you know.” Michael smiles as you begin to slice the vegetables at a painstakingly slow pace.

“Alright Spice, then you gotta make me a nice grilly cheese, ‘kay?” Michael grins.

Sugar whispers something to Michael, making him clear his throat awkwardly. You have no doubt it’s a reminder to him to be gentle; that you’re fragile, damaged goods right now. She’s right. It’s a reminder of the time you wasted with that man, but it doesn’t matter now.

You keep cutting the veggies.

~~~

It’s around nine by the time that dinner’s all done and the dishes all cleaned. Your laughter hasn’t run out but you’re tired, and you need the time alone to go and feel sorry for yourself. You deserve that, you think, because you went and pushed Sugar away when she had your back like nobody else. Still does. Loyalty like that doesn’t come easy.

She had her hand on the side of your chair the whole dinner, like you were gonna bolt at any second and it was the only way she could keep you by her side. You wanna tell her that it’s for good now; that you’ll be by her side forever now. It’s just that it got hard to call when she’d ask you about your life and it felt fucking pathetic to tell her you moved all the way out here for an asshole who didn’t do his own dishes. So when telling her the truth got too hard you stopped telling her anything. And that’s on you. But you’re back now, and that’s the best you can offer.

You’re walking to the trunk of your car, tote bag now stacked with little Pyrex dishes with leftovers of Mikey and Carmy’s creations, when Mikey calls your name from the doorway. He jogs out to you when you look up, surprised.

“Hey, lemme help you put your shit back,” Mikey offers, but you know Mikey enough to know that’s just a poor excuse. He lingers by the trunk as you shut it, taking a quick breath before he gathers his courage. You’ve never seen Michael nervous like that. “So, um, Spice. You’re—you suck at cooking.”

“Thanks so much, Michael. Is that what you came out here to say?” You laugh, shoving his shoulder away as you walk to your door.

“No, no, I was wondering if you’d like to learn to cook. From me, I mean. Just the basics, y’know, but— we could do it, yeah?” And you wonder why Mikey even bothered asking because he’s Michael fuckin Berzatto and you could never say no to him. You nod excitedly, maybe a little too excitedly, but you missed him and you missed his energy and you want to be around him so of course you’d say yes. Without a heartbeat of doubt.

“Yeah, Mikey. I’d fuckin’ love that.” It’s hot in Chicago tonight, and the pavement is radiating heat or maybe it’s Michael, because you feel warm inside and you think part of you’s gonna stay stuck here forever. Forever with Mikey, that sounds nice.

~~~

You’re starting off easy with spaghetti tonight. You bought some new pans and shit, hoping to get it all set up before Mikey comes. You’re thinking about him long before he comes— about how you felt about when you were kids, that bashful feeling you’d get when he’d say hi and that little flicker of jealousy when he talked to other girls or about other girls in front of you. But Mikey Bear was so hopelessly off limits— it’s not like him and Sugar had a bad relationship but she’d never be truly okay with you dating him. Besides, you never did get the vibe that he felt the same way. So you admired from afar, and enjoyed Mikey the same way everyone else did.

But maybe it’ll be different today. Just maybe.

Mikey rings the doorbell and he fills the room the second you open the door, big and loud and joking around as he sets down big cans of tomato sauce and eggs and flour.

“Okay so I got the spaghetti from the store—“

“Stop right there,” Mikey interrupts. “Spice, if we’re cooking, we’re going all out,‘kay? Now c’mere, I want you to grab a knife and start cutting this onion up.” Mikey grabs his phone and starts playing some music from the tinny-sounding speaker. It’s not a song you recognize but Mikey sings along to it anyways, humming and stirring the eggs and flour to make the pasta himself.

You work on cutting the onions but you’re slow, something that doesn’t surprise you but you feel a little embarrassed next to Mikey.

“Spice, hey, hey, Spice, you’re cuttin’ those up all wrong,” Mikey says in quick alarm. He comes up from behind you, fingers encircling your wrist as he presses his chest into your back. You don’t know if you’re breathing— you think you forgot how to, the warmth of his body making your brain short circuit. Mikey covers your hand with his own, moving the knife through the onion and leaning down so his face is next to yours.

“All done,” Mikey murmurs, stepping back, and the immediate loss of his warmth sends a pang of want up your spine.

You work for the rest of his dinner under his guidance, enjoying how he tells you about Tina and Ebra and what Fak’s been up to, laughing at all the right points and feeling so much like that version of you that had been so in love with him. He makes the pasta from scratch, making a mess of your kitchen counters, but mess is a memory and you’re glad to make it with Mikey.

He’s so gentle with you, and it’s obvious in the way he talks about your life in L.A.. He offers you a job at The Beef but you turn it down, knowing it’ll just run you back to what you ran from, just this time without the dead weight. But he’s so fuckin’ sweet it might rot your teeth. Mikey makes you feel like you’re some sort of comedic genius— like every word that comes out of your mouth is one that he couldn't be more fascinated by. You’re sure he’s like this with everyone (because that’s who Michael Berzatto is, he walks into a room and everyone loves him) but you feel… special. And maybe he really does care because he’s got this look in his eye that makes you wanna lean in and kiss him the way you wanted to when you were young and he was only a couple years older or when he watched chick flicks with you and Sug because he wanted to spend time with her. You’ve gotten the little side rays of his light but this, this sweetness unfiltered and on your tongue, he’s so bright and you can’t look away and you want all of him. All of Michael Berzatto.

“Alright, Spice. What was the best part of L.A.?” Mikey asks you as you set the plates of spaghetti down on the table, sitting across from him.

“Uh. Leaving it?” You laugh, prompting Mikey to laugh too.

“Nah, but I’m serious. There’s gotta be one thing that you liked about it, right?” He asks, leaning his elbows on the table. The pieces of his hair fall into his face, giving him that rugged, could-care-less Mikey look that you’ve never been able to resist.

“Okay, well, uh, there was this crow who was always right by my apartment complex, and I know it sounds ridiculous, but he knew me. Like, I’d feed him seeds and fruits and shit like that every single day before my shifts, and most days it felt like he was the only living thing in that city who would care if I was gone. He’d bring me coins and twigs and bits and baubles all the time and I thought it was just the sweetest. And then one day I saw that he had a little nest with little eggs in it and then I thought, y’know, I think it’s time for me to move on too.” You smile at the memory.

“Fuckin’ Snow White over here,” Mikey teases.

“Shut up,” you laugh. “So what about you? How has The Beef been running? I’m so proud of you about it, by the way. And I heard you moved in to help Donna out. You’re the fuckin’ sweetest, Mikey Bear.” You see Mikey’s eyes dim for a second— just a brief flash, gone so fast you thought you imagined it, because the next second he’s back to smiling and laughing.

“It’s good, Spice. It’s real good.”

“And you love it?” You guessed, smiling. Mikey sips his water and smiles back at you. You take note of his silence but don’t say anything, eating your spaghetti as he moves on to the next great Mikey story.

~~~

Mikey comes over a lot. It’s not every day but it’s damn near close to it. It’s comfortable. He comes by your house on the way back to the Berzatto house, and he brings food and teaches you how to cook and peel and season and makes you feel loved through his food. You feel special, like the great Mikey Bear chooses to spend time with you so often.

You’re making chicken-pepper tonight, which is something that The Beef holds on its menu.

“I feel pretty special, being taught by a subject matter expert on this,” you tease Mikey as he murmurs a behind, hands ghosting your hips as he squeezes past you in your tight kitchen.

“Alright, Spice, you gotta give me some room here,” he grunts, towel slung over his shoulder as he moves the pan with the chicken off of the stove.

“I’m trying, Mikey, but there’s no damn room and I still wanna watch what you do,” you groan. He nods, like he’s thinking of something— which is dangerous, because Mikey’s ideas usually are. Before you can register it, Mikey’s bent down and wrapped his big, beefy arms around your waist and hoisted you onto your countertops.

“This work, Spice?” He asks cheekily, seasoning the chicken as you blink in surprise.

“I mean… I guess so,” You stammer out, confused. You’re distracted as you watch him cook, your mind dwelling on the feeling of his hands on your body, thinking about what it might feel like if he came over here and kissed you right now. You’ve missed several steps by the time that Michael calls out your name, holding out a fork with a little piece of chicken on it.

“Where’d you go, Spice?” He asks you softly, blowing on the food before he holds it to your mouth. Mikey’s eyes are tender as they meet yours— no judgment, just a genuine want to know what you’re thinking. It makes you think of the difference with how your ex treated you, how he’d ridicule you when you got lost in thought. “You do that a lot?” You shrug, chewing on the chicken as you nod.

“Mikey, that’s delicious,” you smile. You’re lost in his eyes for a second, and the world feels like it hit pause. The warm glow of your kitchen lights make everything softer, and your hand reaches out to rest against Mikey’s face. You rub your thumb softly against his skin and he’s staring back at you, eyes gentle as he looks at you.

“Hey, can I- can I try something?” You ask, almost shyly as you steel yourself with the courage to go through with it. When Mikey nods you push yourself straight, lips hovering a centimeter away from his before he bridges the gap. His lips are soft and warm against yours, moving just slightly before he pulls back.

“Spice, I… I’m sorry, but we can’t,” Mikey says, taking a step back as a red flush rises up his neck.

“No, I’m sorry, I get it,” you say, heart beating rapidly. You try to squash the swell of nausea but you can’t, the anxiety welling up in you as you realize you’ve gone and fucked it up. “Um, should we eat now?”

“Nah, I think— I think I’m gonna head home, Mom probably needs me,” Mikey says, swallowing roughly. You want to cry— you can’t lose him, but you’ve got to give him his space.

“I’ll see you tomorrow then?” You ask hopefully, a surge of disappointment rising at his hesitant nod. Then he’s out the door, raking a hand through his strands and leaving his hair in disarray. Your nose twitches at the smell of something burning— Mikey forgot to turn off the heat, and now the chicken’s burning. Shit. There goes your dinner, along with the rest of the night. Fucked.

~~~

You waited for Michael the next day. And the next. It took you about a week to realize he wasn’t coming back, and while that was difficult to swallow, you realized you had to keep going. And for the next month you made the dishes you’d made with Mikey, practiced cooking on your own, always making enough for two just in case he stopped by.

You regret the kiss. Of course you do. You thought there was something between you— all that tension building in the kitchen every time you cooked with him, the softness of his hands and how intimate every moment with him felt. But you were wrong. He just saw you as Sugar’s best friend and probably treated you with kindness because of that. Maybe even because he pitied you. Whatever it was, it was your fault that it had fallen apart.

Tonight, though, you have a date. No more sitting around pitying yourself, you’re going out. Sugar connected you with one of Pete’s friends, who’s coming tonight to pick you up and go to a restaurant. You’ve got on your nicest dress, did your hair and makeup and you look good, dammit. So why does it feel like something’s missing?

There’s a sharp rap on your door as you struggle to hook the clasp of your necklace, the noise making you lose your focus.

“Coming!” You call out, a hint of frustration light in your voice as you attempt to hook it while you open the door. To your surprise, it’s Michael at the door, standing with a big grin and a few bags of groceries in his hands.

“Hey, Spice. You’re lookin’ good,” he comments lowly, a hum sitting behind his teeth as he looks you up and down. Your surprise doesn’t outweigh the flutter in your belly when he says that.

“Thanks, Mikey,” you say, hugging the door. “Didn’t realize you were coming today, Bear.”

“You mind if I come inside?” He asks— it’s a formality, he’s already one foot in the door before you can say a word.

“I’ve actually going to dinner tonight, hence the looking-nice-today,” you supply, closing the door after him awkwardly.

“Spice, you look good everyday,” Mikey protests, already headed to the kitchen to put down his bags. “For dinner tonight— branzino?”

“Mikey, Bear, you didn’t hear me right, honey. I’m— I’m going out. For a date.” Michael freezes then, bags slipping through his fingers as some shadow crosses his face.

“Oh.” Oh? That’s all he has to say? Whatever.

“Yeah. And I’m, um, I’m sorry about the— the, y’know, the kiss. I feel really terrible about it.” You reach back to attempt to fix the clasp, but Mikey’s already walking towards you.

“Nah, lemme get that for you,” he says, and his fingers sweep across the back of your neck, right where it’s sensitive, following the bumps of your spine to where you’re holding the clasp up and he takes it from you. Mikey looms over you as he stands behind you and he’s so everything that you almost feel like he’s engulfing you. It’s bad that you want to throw yourself into his arms and say fuck the date. Especially because that’s not what Mikey wants.

There’s a knock on the door by the time he’s finished figuring out the contraption.

“That’s him,” you say, turning to him shyly. “Whaddya think, Bear? Does it look nice?”

“Get the door, Spice,” he says quietly, leaning back on the kitchen counter as you fake a smile at his subtle rejection. You open the door and Pete’s friend stands there— typical finance bro, Patagonia vest and all but you’ll hand it to him that he looks nice.

“Hey, Jacob,” you smile, reaching out to hug him. “It’s nice to meet you. Come on in, I’ll just grab my shoes and my keys and then we can go?”

“Sounds good,” Jacob responds, kicking off his shoes and stepping into your apartment. “I’m Jacob, it’s nice to meet you,” he extends a hand to Mikey, who just looks at it stoically.

“And I didn’t ask. Spice, you’re going out with this guy? Nope. Josh or whatever the fuck your name was, you can leave now.” Jacob stammers as he looks at you and Mikey, unsure of what to do.

“Mikey, cool it, you’re being a bit of an asshole right now,” you say, slipping your purse over your shoulder.

“Nah. Leave,” he says, standing up straight. And it’s fucking intimidating. You’ve never seen Mikey like this, all big and mean and up in someone else’s face. “You don’t even deserve to be in her apartment right now. And I’m being nice to you so fuckin’ get a move on and leave.”

“Michael Berzatto!” You admonish, but Jacob is already backing up.

“Look man, I don’t know what’s going on here but I just came to take her on a date—“

“And that right there is the problem. You ever come round here again and I swear to you you’ll regret it,” Michael snarls. His face is distorted with red-hot anger, and you don’t know what you can do.

“I think it’s best you leave,” you murmur to Jacob. “I’m sorry about this,” you say, walking him to the door as Michael fumes behind you. The door closes with a soft click, and you rest your head on the cool surface as you gather yourself.

“Spice, I-“

“Michael Berzatto, what the fuck was that?” You shout. He winces and you know you should reign it in, keep your cool, but you’re absolutely furious with him. “You embarrassed me back there!”

“Spice, baby, he doesn’t deserve you. I’m just lookin’ out for you,” he murmurs, but there’s a desperate quality to it. Like he wants to convince you but even more so himself.

“This is just fucking— this is unfair as fuck, Michael,” you warn, tossing your jacket and purse onto the couch in your anger. You reach back to undo the necklace Michael had just put on you, smacking his arm away when he reaches out to help you. “If he doesn’t fucking deserve me, who does, huh? You? Does the great Michael Berzatto deserve me?” You sneer angrily, pushing his chest as you get in his space

“I don’t deserve you,” He responds quietly, meeting your eyes with such tragedy that it chips away at your stony resolve. When you go silent at his words, he hesitantly reaches out to cradle your jaw, tucking his fingers behind your ear and stroking his thumbs on your jaw. “I don’t, Spice. I’m a fucking mess and that’s why I didn’t come around for so long because if I came back,” Mikey swallows softly, leaning down to your face so that his forehead is pressed against yours, his nose brushing yours and you can’t think about anything other than his lips, his lips that you wanna kiss but can’t, shouldn’t—“I’d wanna kiss you all over again.”

“Can’t you let me make that decision?” You plead, encircling Mikey’s wrists with your hands as he pulls away, staring at you like you’re a memory of something he’s lost. “I’m right here, Bear,” you remind him, snapping him out of his reverie. He tries to move his hands away but you hold on tighter, pleading him silently to stay, to fix this.

“Forget me, Spice. For your own sake.” Mikey pulls away, giving you a look full of longing and regret, and leaves you, with just his two bags of groceries and the faint feeling that your heart just got broken.

~~~

It’s been a month since that night. Time feels like molasses—sticky, slow around you as you wade through everyday life. It feels like you’re being pulled back to him— every meal you eat, you wish it was with him; every time you meet with Sugar, you’re dragged back to the memory of him, the ghost of his presence just hovering behind your shoulder. You’re stuck, but you’re doing your best to make it through. After all, it’s not like you have another option. Mikey’s changing, too. You see it proximally— the way Sugar dims when Mikey’s mentioned, the way that he banned Carmy from The Beef. He’s lashing out, you know it, but you can’t interfere. It’s not your place.

You’ve been going over to Sugar’s a lot now. She’s got that boy, Pete, who may be a little boring but he anchors her and he treats her right and she loves him. He’s exactly what Sugar has ever needed. It makes you think of your own life, what you need, and if you’ll ever get it. Because the more time that passes, you get more and more convinced that the Mikey-sized hole in your life can’t be filled by anyone else. You can’t think of anyone else who has brought more comfort to your life, who knows you more than anyone, who makes your heart thump with just a smile. Maybe Mikey was it, and now you’re never gonna get that back.

You’re coming back from Sugar’s, sitting silently in your car with your head resting on the cool glass window as you think of Mikey. You do a lot of that. The ring of your phone snaps you out of your memories, your ringtone singing out in the space of your car as you sit and watch it go. It feels like a grenade, like something ominous so you let it ring, the feeling of something unsettled heavy in your stomach. And right before the call drops, you pick up.

“Hello?” You ask, the unfamiliar Caller ID throwing you off. There’s a beat of silence and you move to hang up, thinking that it’s just spam.

“Spice,” Mikey’s voice rings out. His speech is slurred, slow, and that heavy feeling in your gut sits like a boulder when you hear his voice. The sound of it makes tears well up in your eyes, and you grip the leather of your steering wheel to ground yourself. Why did he call? Didn’t he tell you to forget him? “Spice, could you come get me from the police precinct on 9th?”

“What did you do?” You whisper, hanging up and putting the key back in the ignition to go get him. You hate yourself for doing this, for being at his beck and call as you speed on your way to the station. It’s late, the fluorescents buzzing overhead when you stride into the police station.

“I’m here to pay bail for Michael Berzatto?” You ask the desk jockey in front of you, already pulling out your wallet.

“You the one that hung up on him?” He asks, squinting at you as he takes your card and processes it. You nod, just wanting to see Michael already. “Huh. We didn’t think you’d come,” He scoffs. “Anyways, since he listed you as his emergency phone call, we thought you should know; we found this in his coat pocket, has his name on it and everything but just in case.” He hands you a little orange prescription bottle, only a quarter of it left as the pills rattle in the bottle. Painkillers. You tamp down your shock and nod, choosing to stay wordless so you don’t incriminate him. The jockey sighs, standing up and beckoning you to follow him to the Drunk Tank. You spot Mikey immediately, shaggy strands falling before his eyes, beard grown out and that tired, tired look on his face that just pierces your stomach.

“Michael Berzatto?” The jockey calls out, clearly bored. Michael’s head snaps up and you see that heartbreaking combination of regret and gratefulness in his eyes when he sees you. “You’re free to go,” He sighs, waving Mikey out and shutting the door again.

“I didn’t think you’d come,” He stammers, uncertain, looking down at you like he doesn’t know what the hell he’s supposed to do now. You nod sharply, unable to find the words as you walk briskly to your car. Mikey trails behind you like a drawn-out shadow, lingering behind you as you throw open the passenger side door and make your way to your own door.

“Get in,” You call out, buckling your seatbelt and staring straight ahead stubbornly. He follows suit, looking almost out of place as his large frame settles in the passenger seat. You make it to the first traffic light out of the precinct before you manage to say a word, frustration making your eyes sting with tears.

“Are you abusing painkillers?” You ask him abruptly, dabbing the corners of your eyes with the pads of your fingers as tears escape you. He’s silent next to you, because he knows you know. You look over at him and his jaw is clenched, gaze trained at his hands as he squeezes his eyes shut. “Why didn’t you ask us for help?” You ask him desperately as the silence becomes traitorous. “You’ve got something good going on. You can get better, Mikey,” You plead with him.

“You think I could ask you for help?” He asks, gripping the side of the door as he looks up at you. “You think I could ask Sugar for help? And be that fuckin’ selfish?” He sniffs, wiping his own tears away with the sleeve of his shirt. “I’m like a black hole, Spice. All my fucked-up shit would just pull you in and suck out your good until you’re just like me.” You nod, looking ahead as you continue driving in silence.

“And you really believe that?” You ask, disbelief lacing your tone. “You think it’s better to go through this alone?”

“I can get out of this,” he protests, and you don’t know who he’s trying to convince.

“You don’t have to,” You say quietly. “Michael, please stop pushing us away,” you plead, a sob catching in the back of your throat. He’s scaring you now, the way he’s talking, the danger that he’s in. You just want him safe.

“I can’t,” Michael admits, tears falling freely from his eyes as he confesses. “I’m not strong enough to stop and there’s no way out for me.”

“Yes there is!” You shout. “Michael, look at me! There is a way out of this and you deserve that way out! You won’t be hurting anyone if you ask for help. We need you just as much as you need us, Mikey.” You sigh, pulling into your apartment complex finally.

“I love you, Michael,” You confess, holding his hand and forcing him to look at you. “I have for a long, long time, and that’s not going anywhere. I don’t want anything in return,” You say softly, stroking his knuckles as he closes his eyes, leaning forward to rest his forehead on yours. “Just stay safe with me. For now, okay?” You ask, quietly pulling away, eager to get him into your apartment where you know he’ll be safe. Mikey nods.

You don’t know if he’ll be safe tomorrow. But for now, he’s safe with you, and that’s all that matters.

#jon bernthal fic #mikey berzatto x reader #angst with no happy ending #michael berzatto x reader #the bear #the bear fics #mikey berzatto #distortionbobble's fics #reader insert #angst

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ectstasy · 10 months

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Always You

ᴘᴀɪʀɪɴɢ: ᴘᴀʀᴋ ꜱᴇᴏɴɢʜᴡᴀ x ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ

ɢᴇɴʀᴇ: ʜɪɢʜꜱᴄʜᴏᴏʟ ᴀᴜ, ꜰʟᴜꜰꜰ

ᴡᴏʀᴅ ᴄᴏᴜɴᴛ:3ᴋ

There was a event for high school students to volunteer in, aiming to enhance their records, particularly for the kids who wanted a higher chance to get into their desired college. The event involved setting up a carnival and assisting elementary students throughout the day. Y/N, one of the students participating, was initially assigned to greet the children and guide them around the carnival. However, her role quickly changed due to an emergency involving a student having to leave the event. Y/N was suddenly entrusted with the responsibility of ensuring everything went smoothly. She had to assign tasks to the volunteers, prevent any mishaps, and find solutions if anything went wrong. Reluctantly, she accepted the role, knowing there was no one else who can take on the role.

As she walked around, Y/N monitored the progress, making sure everything aligned with the plan. Her attention was caught when she spotted Hyunjin, her cousin. She couldn't help but feel surprised to see him volunteering. "Hyunjin? You're here, volunteering at a kid's place?" she exclaimed, needing confirmation. Hyunjin responded, "Well, no shit Sherlock. My grades are terrible, and I need something to help me graduate." He looked at her as if she were the dumbest person alive. Y/N nodded, recalling the incident when Hyunjin unintentionally made a child cry due to his attitude. "But a place where you take care of kids? There were other options available," she remarked, expressing her concern.

Hyunjin shrugged off her comment, stating, "Well, I won't even be interacting with any kids. I'm assigned to this guy," he gestured towards the dog. Y/N raised an eyebrow, studying the list in her hand. "Oh, I see. You're an entertainer! Just make sure the dog doesn't shed any tears before he decides to nip at your fingers," she teased. Hyunjin scoffed, and petted the dog affectionately. "Don't worry your self. I'll be fine." He said causing Y/N to smile. "Okay don't get yourself into too much trouble. I'll be back."

Adjacent to Hyunjin's station stood an exceptionally attractive man whom Y/N had never seen before. He was in charge of the Mario Kart game. She quickly searched the list to find his name, which was revealed as "Park Seonghwa." Confirming his identity, she smiled and said, "Seonghwa, right?" He nodded in response with a small smile. "Alright! Here," she said, retrieving two smaller bags from her carry-on. "Give the kids who win the full-sized candy, and the ones who lose, the medium-sized." Seonghwa took the two bags and then placed it on the table behind him. "Okay. Got you." He said. She then told him she would be back to check up on him.

True to her word, Y/N returned to Seonghwa after thirty minutes, only to be taken aback by the sight before her. Seonghwa was seamlessly managing both the Mario Kart game and the task of entertaining the kids with the help of Bruno, the dog. The dog appeared as if he was falling completely for Seonghwa's charms and obeying his every command. Y/N hurried over to him, her curiosity piqued. She asked where Hyunjin had gone, and Seonghwa replied, "He went to the bathroom."

Realizing that Seonghwa couldn't handle both tasks, Y/N immediately offered her assistance. "Let me help you. It's too much for one person," she insisted. Seonghwa agreed, saying, "Okay, you handle Mario Kart. It turns out I'm better with dogs than I thought." He winked at Y/N, causing a warm, fuzzy feeling to flutter in her stomach.

Y/N guided the children through the Mario Kart game, providing assistance whenever they were confused about its various elements. She gave out the candies to the kids with a sense of joy she had never experienced before. She was happy to see the kids so happy to receive the prizes. Y/N always thought she was terrible with kids, but this day seemed to prove her thinking as a misconception.

The children adored her, their eyes filled with admiration as they gathered around Y/N. Eunhee, one of the girls, couldn't contain her excitement, "Thank you, Y/N! You're so pretty! I hope to be just like you one day." Nodding in agreement, the other kids showered Y/N with compliments.

Y/N smiled as she knelt down to Eunhee's level. "You don't need to be like me, Eunhee. Just be yourself, because you are beautiful just the way you are," she said, her voice filled with encouragement. "That goes for all of you guys too!" Y/N said as she looked at all of the kids surrounding her. Eunhee's face lit up with joy and gratitude. "Thank you so much!" she exclaimed, before happily skipping off with her friends.

Seonghwa, observing the heartfelt interaction smiled to himself. The sight of Y/N uplifting the children's spirits and instilling confidence in them brought easily brought smile to his face.

As the place emptied out and the last child left, Y/N leaned back against the game machine, feeling tired from the excitement of the day. Seonghwa noticed her fatigue and commented, "You did a fantastic job. The kids genuinely adored you." He then began picking up discarded wrappers scattered across the floor.

Y/N smiled gratefully at him. "You were amazing too. Juggling two jobs for fifteen minutes was truly impressive," she complimented, her words bringing a small smile to Seonghwa's face.

"You're beautiful and you're kind. That's truly impressive."

Y/N was taken aback at Seonghwa's compliment. It sounded so genuine that it caused her cheeks were tinted with a red hue. As she processed what he said her voice got stuck in her throat.

Meanwhile, Hyunjin returned from the bathroom only to find Y/N looking up with Seonghwa with "that look" . A mischievous smirk formed on his face as he observed the two. "I wouldn't be surprised if those two ended up together. Look at her face," he whispered to himself as he grinned watching the two engage in conversation afterwards.

Present time:

She ran faster than she had ever before to avoid missing the bus to work. The consequences of missing it would be dire. She dreaded facing her boss's potential anger if she arrived late once again this week. The bus engine started, indicating that she was about to miss it, but luckily, the kind bus driver waited and even opened the door for her. It was a rare act of kindness in bustling New York City, where doors often shut in her face, even when she barely made it on time. This time, however, was different. She scanned her card and found a seat towards the back of the bus. A car would've been such an easy solution to this if Y/N didn't fear the idea of driving. She looked at her phone and saw she had 17 minutes left to reach work, or she would be considered late.

As the bus continued its journey, Y/N stared out the window, sighting people walking on the side walks, stands with people selling varieties of items with clothing and foods, and people even sitting around the benches. As she looked, Y/N couldn't help but notice a crying little boy. He appeared stranded in the middle of the sidewalk, with everyone passing him by without a second thought. Y/N immediately got a bad feeling about leaving the boy there. Y/N sighed heavily, knowing she was unable to leave him there. Glancing at her phone, she realized she had 15 minutes remaining before she had to be at work. Determined, she put her phone away and pressed the button, giving the bus a signal to stop at the next stop. When the bus came to a halt, she quickly ran backward through the crowd, searching for the boy. Thankfully, he was still in the same spot where she had seen him from the bus. Kneeling down to meet his eye level, she asked, "Honey, what's wrong?" The boy looked at her with glistening eyes and replied, "I don't know where my dad went. I don't know where my babysitter is either."

Y/N silently thanked the heavens that she had decided to stop and help the child. He clearly was lost and had no idea what to do.

Giving him a sweet smile Y/N asked him.

"What's your name love?" He then introduced himself as Sunghoon. "Do you have any information about your daddy that could help me find him?" she inquired. The boy shook his head, indicating that he didn't. "I don't want to leave you here. Would you like to come with me to that store over there? Or is that too scary?" she asked. The boy shook his head and pleaded innocently, "I want to go inside, please." Y/N nodded and walked into the grocery store, holding the boy's hand.

As Y/N conversed with one of the store workers, searching for a solution, a man suddenly burst into the store. "Sunghoon?!??" he called out urgently, yet not too loudly. Sunghoon immediately recognized his father's voice and raced towards him. "Daddy!!" he exclaimed, embracing his father tightly. "I'm so sorry! The babysitter's brother is in the hospital and she had to leave baby. Are you okay?!?!" Y/N turned around, her face went into shock as she laid eyes on the man who embraced the child. "Park Seonghwa???!" she questioned, a sense of disbelief washing over her. It was her high school first love, miraculously reentering her life.

Seonghwa was equally astonished to see her, a brilliant smile illuminating his face. "Y/N?? It's been an eternity since I last saw you. How have you been?" he asked, his smile being filled with warmth. "I...I'm doing well!" she responded, realizing that even after almost 9 years, nothing had changed about him. His smile remained as captivating as ever. "Dad!! She's really nice! She was trying to help me find you!" Sunghoon exclaimed. Seonghwa's smile widened even further upon hearing Sunghoon's words. It sparked a memory for Y/N. Curiosity taking hold, she asked, "How did you know the exact location to find us so quickly?" He then revealed the pendant that adorned Sunghoon's necklace. "I installed a tracking device here. It alerts me where he is at all times."

Fascinated by the device, Y/N nodded in awe. Glancing at the time once more, she realized with a sinking feeling that she was now 19 minutes late for work. "Oh great," she muttered under her breath. Seonghwa noticed the stress etched on her face and immediately inquired, "What's wrong?" She sighed and replied, "I'm really late for work, and my boss tends to be difficult when I'm late." A pang of guilt washed over Seonghwa. "Please, let me take you out to dinner or something. It's my way of showing gratitude and catching up with you," he said sincerely. Y/N hesitated, not wanting to accept a reward for simply doing the right thing, but the desire to reconnect with Seonghwa overcame her hesitations. "Do you need a ride, or are you still afraid of driving?" Her face was again filled with shock upon hearing his words. "You actually remembered that??" she exclaimed, disbelief coloring her tone. "I remember quite a few things about you," he replied, reaching for his phone. "Put your number in so we can discuss a time for me to pick you up." She nodded, entering her phone number and saving her contact in his phone. "Are you still up for me giving you a ride?" he asked. She shook her head. "It's okay. I'll just skip work and call in an emergency. I live only four minutes away," she explained, oblivious to the disappointment that flickered across Seonghwa's face. Seonghwa nodded as he prepared to leave. "See you tonight, Y/N." She returned his smile and said, "See you tonight, Hwa."

As she walked, a wave of regret washed over her for not accepting the ride. However, she needed a little time alone to process the feelings that she thought had faded away since high school graduation. After all, Seonghwa had a child, which likely meant he had a wife. She now had to think of him as a normal person and not as someone she had once fell in love with.

It was precisely 7:38, and Seonghwa impatiently waited outside, his anticipation palpable. Y/N stole a quick, self-assured glance at herself in the mirror before confidently stepping out. Seonghwa reclined peacefully in his car, but his gaze immediately fixated on her, completely captivated by her presence. She adorned an exquisite beige floral dress, its long, flowing fabric adding an ethereal allure to her appearance. As she gracefully entered the car, Seonghwa's eyes sparkled with delight. "You have a nice car," she remarked, her admiration evident from the moment she got in. A warm smile graced his lips as he ignited the engine, signaling their readiness to embark on their journey.

As they began to drive, curiosity overwhelmed Y/N, prompting her to inquire about Sunghoon and his mother. The question elicited a hearty laugh from Seonghwa. "Sunghoon is doing splendidly, although I can't say the same for his mother," he replied, briefly glancing at her shocked expression. Chuckling at the sight, he refocused his attention on the road. "Oh my god, I'm so sorry," Y/N hastily apologized, her remorse evident. Seonghwa simply shrugged, dismissing her concerns. "Don't be."

Unable to contain her curiosity any longer, Y/N delved deeper into the matter. "What exactly happened?!" A bittersweet smile crept onto Seonghwa's face as he recollected the painful memory. "Well, the woman presented me with an ultimatum: either I allowed her to have an abortion or I put Sunghoon up for adoption, or I could stay with her. I chose Sunghoon because if she truly loved me, she wouldn't have given me such a heart-wrenching choice." Understandingly, Y/N nodded in empathy. "Sunghoon is truly a gem. How old is he?" she inquired, her mouth slightly agape in astonishment. "He's 7. I had him while I was in college," Seonghwa replied.

Seonghwa's eyes widened in utter disbelief upon hearing her confession. "You mean to tell me that no man has ever piqued your interest?" Y/N pondered his question carefully, her mind retracing the memories of countless encounters. Unapologetically, she admitted that nobody had ever managed to leave a lasting impression, except for the man seated beside her in that very car. The weight of her unspoken feelings burdened her, as she recalled the fear of potential rejection that had held her back before. Summoning her courage, she finally confessed, "Honestly, Seonghwa... you're the only person who has ever stirred something within me." The revelation hung heavily in the air, catching Seonghwa completely off guard.

Seonghwa's curiosity piqued, and he couldn't help but inquire further. "Really? No one has ever interested you?" With a surge of bravery, Y/N decided to reveal the truth. "Seonghwa, let me share something with you. You want to know something funny?" Seonghwa nodded, his eyes locked onto hers, waiting for her to continue. "You're the only person I've ever found truly intriguing." His shock was evident, and he searched for a suitable place to park. They ended up in the parking lot of an ice cream parlor, where Seonghwa turned to face Y/N. "Repeat what you just said," he requested, needing confirmation. Y/N blushed, her gaze averting to the ground. "I used to have strong feelings for you, Seonghwa. I liked you, a lot." His eyes widened further, processing her words.

Gently, Seonghwa caressed her cheek, his touch sending shivers down her spine. "That makes me sad," he admitted, his voice filled with a tinge of regret. Confusion clouded her expression. "What? You didn't want someone like me liking you?" He shook his head, a small smile forming on his lips. "No, it's not that. I'm sad because you said 'used to'." Her chuckle resonated through the car. "Is that a confession?" she teased. Seonghwa's smile grew wider. "Maybe." The atmosphere between them soon changed, and he leaned in closer, causing her to freeze in her seat. His voice was a breathy whisper as he asked, "Do you still like me?" His question escaped from his lips in a soft, whispered tone. "Maybe." She grinned, causing Seonghwa to roll his eyes playfully. "Turning my own words against me," he remarked, prompting laughter from both of them. "I never stopped having feelings for you."

"Want to hear something funny?"

"I never stopped having feelings for you either."

"You have feelings for me???" She questioned, her disbelief evident.

"Who wouldn't, Y/N? You're truly the most enchanting person I've ever encountered. Your kindness, your compassion, your willingness to lend a help. You're beautiful both inside and out, and that's exactly what I've always desired in a person."

"When I saw you back at that grocery a couple hours ago, I realized, it's always been you Y/N. Nobody ever made me feel this way in the past 9 years."

Her cheeks flushed a deep shade of crimson at his unexpected confession. In a bold move, she climbed over to the driver's seat, straddling Seonghwa. With a surge of courage, she leaned in and their lips met, sharing a fiery and passionate kiss. When they finally pulled away, they locked eyes, a profound silence enveloping them. Breaking the silence, Seonghwa spoke with a smile. "So, can I still take you out to dinner?" She nodded, a smile gracing her face, and hurried back to the passenger's seat.

"Sunghoon would be thrilled to hear about this. He couldn't stop talking about you all day," she giggled in response.

"Awe, are you already planning to go home and tell him that I'm your girlfriend?" She teased, a smirk creeping on her lips.

"Are you my girlfriend?"

She smiled, leaning back in her seat. "Only if you want me to be."

"Then you are my girlfriend," he declared, a look of pure happiness in his eyes.

As she watched him drive, a contented smile played on her lips. The unexpected circumstances that brought them back together filled her with joy. It had always been him, the one who sparked a flame of passion within her. Since parting ways, she had never been able to love someone the way she loved him. It had always been Seonghwa, and it always would be.

#ateez seonghwa #ateez x reader #ateez scenarios #ateez fluff #ateez fanfic #ateez #ateez imagines #fanfic

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vexic929 · 11 months

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🍇🍉🍎🍒🍰🎂🍹🍕 for Berrie and anyone else :)

🍇: What sort of friend are they? Where are they in the group dynamic?

Berrie is usually the friend holding the braincell lol they are generally the voice of reason when her friends get too chaotic (unfortunately their threshold for "too chaotic" is skewed, they're all just chaos when they're together, Eobard does not allow them all in the house at the same time)

Harmonic Sine is the mom friend, she is always trying to make sure her friends take care of themselves even if she's not doing so well herself

🍉: Does your OC have a particular piece of jewellery that they always wear or refuse to part with?

When Berrie was a baby and a toddler her favorite toy was Eobard's ring, much to his chagrin, so he ended up making her one of her own which they keep on their person at all times to this day

Vice has a bracelet given to them by their boyfriend which he incorporates into every outfit regardless of the style he's going for

🍎: Do they share any features or traits with any family members?

Physically, Berrie has Barry's eye color and nose, Eobard's eye and face shape, and a mix of both of their hair colors, skin tones, and mouth shapes. Personality-wise, Berrie has Barry's compassion, geekiness, and selflessness; Eobard's obsession, volatility, and determination; and both of their intelligence.

Agent V-92 and her brother, Angel, are nearly identical in appearance (though not at all in personality)

🍒: Has Your OC had their first kiss yet? If so, with who?

He has! Berrie's first kiss was with a boy on his middle school chess team after losing a game and, consequently, a bet against him. That was how they learned they're not interested in boys lol

Soliton has not had her first kiss yet nor is she particularly interested in that part of a relationship, physicality is not high on her priority list, she'd probably be happiest in a long distance relationship

🍰: What’s something your OC counts as unforgivable?

Lying to Berrie is one of the worst things you can do to them in their mind, if she catches you in a lie it's over, she'll never trust you again

Anything that gets in the way of Aria's goals is basically a death sentence as far as she is concerned, if you do it deliberately you'll be lucky to survive longer than it takes for Aria to find out

🎂: Has your OC have any contradictory interests or traits to the first perception people have of them? How do they surprise people?

Berrie comes across as a ray of sunshine, which she is, but they are also terrifyingly obsessive and possessive - they're good at hiding it but if any of their friends were threatened or simply tried to end their friendship, Berrie would see red and the situation would escalate rapidly

Fire & Ice loves baseball; you'd never guess it looking at her but she follows the KBO League religiously and plays baseball with her younger cousins when her family comes to visit

🍹: Does your OC have any funny anecdotes told about them?

Berrie never technically learned to walk, he went straight from crawling and scooting to running though his powers didn't show up until she was around 3 years old, after which Eobard had to keep a very close eye on her lest she run to the nearest toy or candy store - he did catch her more than once with her little pockets full of sweets

Soliton once met one of her scientist idols in an elevator at a conference and was absolutely giddy when he knew her name - she only realized after they'd parted ways that he knew her name because she was wearing a name tag

🍕: How does an OC spend a lazy day?

Berrie likes to spend lazy days at dog parks, watching people's pets play and doodling or writing in a notebook

The Ace Arrow loves jigsaw puzzles and board games and will usually rope one or more friends (usually their roommate, Harmonic Sine) into joining them

#negative-speedforce #negative speedforce #vexic ocs #berrie thawne #my ocs #vexic lives #vexic answers

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pigletxpoohbear · 1 year

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Could you write a scenario where Tatsumaki's normally polite, quiet, friendly s/o encounters the one who did something horrible, like killed their mother, and just absolutely snaps? Like, by the time she gets there she ends up witnessing her kind s/o just reduced to this raging, primal beast utterly destroying this individual in a completely one sided fight where they seem to be aiming to cause as much pain and agony as possible?

You and Tatsumaki couldn't be more polar opposites, but as they say opposites attract. Tatsumaki was very blunt and liked to gloat about her abilities. You on the other hand liked to be quiet if you didn't have anything nice to say and kept to yourself about your abilities. Today was different. There was monsters coming from every sewer and every alley, but you didn't use your powers to stop any of them unless they got in your way. Your family was hosting a graduation party for your cousin and a continuation party for the kids going on to high school, middle school, and elementary school, but the city they were in got attacked first and the hardest. When you got there the house was nothing. There was only a single photo that you could tell was taken just earlier today, but your family... Where was your parents, your aunts, uncles, cousins... Where was your family? "Another pathetic human to make scream and cry!" You heard an obnoxious voice say to your right. "What're you talking about," was all you could ask. You were so discombobulated you couldn't make sense of everything around you or what this... thing was saying to you. "They begged and begged for their lives not knowing that nobody that comes across me lives! I'm a corpse flower after all!" Little did this thing know is that you were an S tier hero that couldn't be called often cause you were a Peak High Dragon+ hero with the ability of Cosmic Blasts.

Tatsumaki was about to hit a monster when all of a sudden it disappeared. All of a sudden a bunch of monsters that looked the same began disappearing as if they were just disintegrating. When she turned around a bright purple light was lighting up a majority of the city. She immediately recognized your powers and went to help you beat all the monsters you were potentially up against. When she got there though it was like you weren't yourself. You were hitting this monster with enough power to hurt it, but not to kill it immediately. In between your blasts she could hear it begging to be killed. "You haven't begged enough! I'll let you die when you've begged as many times as the age of each person that you just killed inside that house damn it! Keep begging and maybe I'll let you go the easy way!" "Fission stop," Tatsumaki yelled. No, you can't stop. Your family's gone, you have nothing. "Purple Fission please stop or just kill him!" No both of those were too easy. He deserved to be punished. He NEEDED to be punished. "Y/N, stop please." Tatsumaki was next to you now and the moment her hand touched your arm you broke down. You fell to your knees, but not as hard cause she caught you. The corpse flower also fell most likely dead or dying soon from all the damage you dealt to it.

Tatsumaki held you and as you cried into her chest she realized that where she was standing was where your family's house used to be. She remembered the continuation/graduation party she was invited to today that your entire family RSVP'd for. She realized what made you act like that was almost everyone that you both loved was gone.

#one punch man imagines #tatsumaki #opm imagine #tatsumaki imagine

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lifviakaza · 2 years

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"I'm tired, Mom."

It was 2019, my first real job, thousands of miles away from home, her last child, unmarried, left everything behind, hurt so badly, in tears but decided not to stay anyway.

"Well, go home then, Mong. Money isn't everything. I just want you to be happy. Start over here, come back home, my little darling."

I was a bookworm, a nerd. If young generations nowadays stay at home for playing online games, I stayed all day long home to read while watching our little shop. I've told you that I joined a lot of courses and organizations. One time she asked me, "Have u actually learned anything? Is it worth it?" Tho I know that she was kinda concerned about the money she and my dad spent.

She was born and raised in that little town where to dream is free but to take an action and eventually reached your crazy wild imaginations is a crime especially if you're an unmarried woman. "What else do you want? Go home, get married and take care of your parents!" tho it's none of the neighbors business really. People talk behind your back, and you're considered a Virgin Mary--which is an insult for single women passing their 25s.

"I'm so tired, Mom."

Every other time, when I have to do something just because I am an adult, just because the people around me tell me to live the 'normal' life; bachelor's is enough; marry a government employee; take care of the children at home; live happily ever after.

Where's the happily ever after? When you aren't sure what you are doing and why you're doing it.

So I escaped every time, I listened to my heart instead of other people's opinions, because truth be told, none of their comments has helped me through a single thing in my life. "Live the normal life!" isn't supposed to be that exact sentence. Can we just live "our normal life"? Because we can, well I can, personally.

I got the lowest score for my final exam in high school cz I didn't want to be 'normal' - cheating , I failed all the governmental schools I was taking cz I didn't want to be 'normal' - bribing + making rich people even richer. God knows how much I needed the free school looking at every aspect of my life at that moment, but I didn't want to be normal, I still don't.

"You went to that expensive top 3 school and you failed all these tests?! What have you learned really?"

I remember calling my mum from another city and cried afterwards cz she was in the hospital and I failed another test bcz I'm not Chinese and those ppl still judged me saying my parents had spent so so very much and the results were nothing like anyone ever expected.

I was at the very lowest bottom in my life and no one wanted to talk to me so I spent days in my room crying and it gave me a little stroke. That's when my cousin got mad and told my mum this, "Stop caring about what other people want! Who do you love? She's done her best, it's her destiny to live the " not normal" life. It's just not her destiny. There's something else, maybe more, for her."

I was taken to the hospital and my mum started talking to me again, "Well, it's okay, Mong. Let's just go to this "normal" university. We will be able to make money for this. It's ok. It's gonna be ok."

So I moved to that city and found my freedom, I didn't know what I wanted, but I knew exactly what I didn't want. Yeah, I didn't go to that university. I took a gap year, took another university entrance test the following year, moved to another city where I had no one and I started everything from scratch. And my dreams, my people, they found me, oh God I just realized all those times I was trying so hard to find what and who I wanted to be surrounded with. I forgot they were and are alive, they will find their ways to me, it's how it works. That's how I started to figure out life, it's harsh, but it's possible, always and forever possible.

"I'm exhausted, Mum."

She answered the same sentences the last time I told her that, it was 2020. But I decided not to come home that time, I stayed where I wanted to be and did what my heart had always told me to, I was so hopeless yet so ready to lose. However, life is indeed a mystery. When we surrender, we win every battle. I won and still winning and it's not and maybe will never be a normal life for me or people with similar destiny as mine. All those ups and downs, stubbornness, stupidity, rebellion, whatever, I'd never be my truest self without those uncommon characters that manifest in me deeply.

"I'm ok, Mum. But can I come home? Not that it's tiring or exhausting. I just miss your food, or maybe you."

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evilsanlang · 2 years

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again on the topic of the image of "diverse thus progressive" foreigners seem to have about Brazil, this quote by Ângela Figueiredo about being black here comes to mind:

"Almost all of us are born 'whitened', as there is a predominance of aspects from the white culture - if we can call it such - in our society, and only 'darken' or turn black over the years those who choose to include in their lives aspects related to the 'black culture' and become curious enough to learn about their past."

worth noting again that unlike the US, with its segregation laws and the one drop rule, Brazil went through what we call the "Whitening" - an ideology backed by social darwinism and race science imported from Europe that promoted miscegenation between white and black people as a solution to "the black problem". this was the driving force behind the policies that openly invited european (white) immigrants to Brazil in the early 20th century. the idea was to completely eliminate the physical aspect of blackness (rather than blood composition) through miscegenation, which gives you a better idea of why, in Brazil, your race is largely determined by how you look, and why concepts like "white-passing" are ill-fitted here. it is in our white and wealthy's best interests that the rest of the world see our diversity as a victory over racism, when it's merely a byproduct of it. and that's not even going into the amount of black women that were raped or sterilized in this effort to Whiten the population.

anyway, now for some personal anecdotes: I'm parda (a general term for 'mixed'; in my case, mixed black) lightskin, and thinking back to my childhood, Ângela Figueiredo really hit the mark with that quote. I was born and raised in a mixed/black community, and within my own family I was often pressured to clip my nose to make my nostrils thinner, to straighten my hair, was made fun of my lips, etc. at school, although most of us were mixed black, every time a white kid transferred in they'd be the talk of the month. I was surrounded by kids that looked just like me, and yet this reverence that my white peers received made it clear who we should be looking up to.

on the TV it was even worse - I don't watch TV anymore so I can't tell you how it is nowadays, but throughout my childhood there was barely any representation of what our population actually looks like. when there was, it was a black maid to a white family or some romanticized take on slavery. we had to watch american shows if we wanted to see black people - The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air, Everybody Hates Chris, My Wife and Kids, Brandy's Rodgers & Hammerstein's Cinderella, and so on. and although I don't keep up with TV these days, I can tell by the ads I'm bombarded with that at the very least brazilian corporations have realized that they can capitalize on diversity. nothing too risqué, of course. those black girls in box braids and those black dudes with afros have to look just neat enough to be acceptable, not at all like those favelados. (and on the topic of favelas - impoverished areas inhabited mainly of black people - , it's no surprise that brazilian funk, a music genre originated in favelas, garners a type of exterior criticism that, rather than address issues like the sexualization of young girls as a direct result of racism, simply turns its nose at something it deems inherently inferior.)

there's this vicious cycle within mixed/black communities where we're encouraged to shed our blackness in order to escape racism since we're very young, not realizing that in doing so we're perpetuating it. it was only really after I graduated high school that I stopped shying away from my blackness, stopped trying to disguise my nostrils, stopped killing my body trying to look like my white peers. recently my mother told me that my cousin, who'd straightened her 4b hair her entire life, finally stopped and is walking around with a head full of curls. I was elated to hear that.

I'm not too sure what the point of this post is besides giving you some insight into how racism works in Brazil, but one thing I'd like to emphasize is: watch out for brazilians - and latines in general - who claim "we're all mixed", especially when using that as an excuse for their racism. not only is that false, even if we were all mixed, that's only a testament to how hard this country tried to erase the "stain" of blackness.

#ok to rb and encouraged even #br

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bellesowl · 3 years

Text

kiss and make up

- multiple characters

⤷ atsumu, sakusa

genre: (an attempt at) angst to fluff ; established relationship, timeskip

synopsis: in which you have an almost relationship-ending argument

word count: 2.1k total - about 1k each

warnings: fighting (obv), being called a burden, the boys are kinda mean but they make up for it i swear

- a/n: tbh i was kinda getting sick of writing just fluff so i wanted to spice it up a lil! if this sucks i’m probably going to stick to fluff fics but i think it should be fine? this one also only has 2 characs cause idk how i would be at writing angst LMAO if this does well enough i’ll post the one i have written w kuroo and iwa <3 but i feel like this kinda sucks so oh well

- thank u @kybabi for beta-ing <3

- miya atsumu

you n atsumu have been together since high school which is why you’ve always been inseparable

you went to the same college & moved in together right after, but once he got his job with the jackals, he insisted that you didn’t work and focused on getting your master’s degree

you reluctantly agreed, if only to be able finish & earn your phd soon after

because atsumu is always busy, it’s kinda become commonplace for you to do the chores around the house- like doing the laundry or washing the dishes or cooking dinner for him

but it’s gotten to the point where he expects it

atsumu sighs, unlocking the door to your shared apartment. today’s practice was rough, it was a day of hard conditioning and bad sets and he wanted nothing more than a good meal and to cuddle. the first thing he noticed when he walked in was the mess. instant ramen bowls were scattered everywhere, empty coke cans and dirty napkins were all over the floor, and there you were, in the eye of the hurricane. the second thing he noticed was that there was no homecooked meal.

surprised, he walks into the dining room to see you, furiously typing away at your laptop with four different books surrounding you. you hear his footsteps and look up.

“hey baby! how was practice?” you ask with a smile

atsumu grunts in reply and gestures toward the kitchen, “so.. what’s for dinner babe?”

your eyes widen, “oh shoot! i’m sorry, i was so busy studying for this final that i forgot to cook. do you mind-“ you stop when you see him roll his eyes and head out.

“um, where are you going? you just got home?” you ask, following him.

“out. i have to get food somehow” he replies, “especially because my useless s/o can’t cook a goddamn meal for me” he mutters under his breath

you stop in shock because did he really just say that?

“i’m sorry, i don’t think i heard you right.” you start but he interrupts you

“i said, i have to go get food because someone is too busy to cook a goddamn meal. what do you even do anyways- well, besides spend my money? the least you can do is cook for me, god.” he finally turns to look at you but he feels his heart stop at the look on your face.

not wanting to escalate the situation any further, you try to calm him down, “tsum, hey, i’m sorry i forgot to cook okay? this is my last final before the year ends and i just can’t afford to fail it, so i’ve been studying all day. if you come back to the kitchen, i’ll make you something, okay?”

“i don’t want to eat your half assed attempt at a meal, y/n. the whole point is that you couldn’t get off your ass for an hour to cook when i make the money, i paid for the apartment, hell, i’m even paying for your school! is it really too much to ask for you to stop being such a burden and cook and clean everyday?” he fumed.

you gape at him, shocked that he would even say that. to hell with not escalating things

“at least i want to do something more with my life than hit balls around and retire at 35” you hiss, “and i do everything in this house! i do the laundry, i clean the bathroom, i cook - i do all the things you refuse to. and do i complain? no. i offered to get a job but you refused.”

you turn around to grab your laptop and your textbooks, “just- just do whatever the hell you want to, atsumu.” and with that you walk out the door.

atsumu’s heart drops when he realizes that you actually left. sure, you’ve had arguments here and there, but you’ve never left. he pulls out his phone to call you when he sees you’ve left yours on the counter. knowing there’s nothing to do but wait at this point, he begins to clean up and calls osamu over.

it’s already 3 am when you walk back into your apartment, and you blink multiple times when you open the door. it’s ... clean? you’re sure it was a mess when you left, so how would it be clean? you sigh, too tired to think about it more and walk into the kitchen. your eyes widen at the sight. not only is your favorite food on the stove, but there your boyfriend is, asleep on the dining table. you smile slightly, well that explains things.

“ ‘’mu, hey, wake up babe.” you kiss him lightly and shake him.

he grunts and sits up, “baby! i’m so so sorry for what i said. you are in no way, shape, or form a burden, i have no clue why i said that. today’s practice was just really tiring, but i know i shouldn’t have taken it out on you. just please-” he sighs, “just please don’t leave me again.”

your heart breaks your teary eyed boyfriend. “shh, of course baby. i’ll never leave you again okay?” you say, tugging on his arm, “cmon babe, let’s go to bed, okay?”

“mm okay my love.” he replies and practically pulls you into bed. “i love you, okay?”

“i love you too baby.” you reply

“to the moon and back?” he asks

“yeah, and to infinity and beyond.” you reply, your lack of sleep hitting you hard

“oh, i didn’t know i was dating buzz lightyear”

you let out a loud laugh and just like that you both fall into the same routine, love radiating off both of you in waves.

- sakusa kiyoomi

dating sakusa was,, challenging

it definitely took him a while to get comfortable with you

so you guys have been dating for a couple years now, and at this point he’s def clingy

however there still moments when he reverts to his old self

this just happened to be one of those times

“OUT! AND JUST LIKE THAT, EJP RAIJIN TAKES THE WIN AGAINST THE BLACK JACKALS!”

the stadium is silent before the ejp cheering section erupts in cheers. you stay silent, watching your team below. you watch as sakusa stills, still in disbelief. you make your way down, practically sprinting to your boyfriend.

he sees you on the sideline and makes his way over to you. you put on your biggest smile and attempt to make him feel better.

“you did great, kiyo! you’ll get them next time, yeah?” you beam, knowing how hard he’s been training to beat his cousin

he eyes you warily, not knowing what to say.

usually, sakusa gets pretty clingy after games, so you you move to give him a hug.

“don’t touch me” he barked, jerking away from you. “if you hadn’t been distracting me, we would’ve won.”

you stare at him, refusing to let the tears flow. you both turn when you hear a certain setter yelling at the opposing middle and you sigh.

“um, okay then. i’ll see you at home, yeah?” you ask

sakusa merely nods and makes his way over to his teammates. you look around to see if anyone saw what just happened and you lock eyes with your boyfriend’s cousin, who walks over.

“congrats on the win komori! you guys did so well!” you cheered

“thanks, y/n! and i’m sorry about kiyoomi. i’m sure you know he gets that way sometimes.” he explains

you smile and shake your head, saying that you’re used to it and you both bid your farewells. as you walk out of the stadium, you think back to how your boyfriend, the one person you loved with everything you had in you, utterly embarrassed you in front of his whole team. before you know it, silent tears start streaming down your face.

you enter your home and immediately rush to the bathroom. you draw yourself a bath and make some dinner while waiting. you assume that kiyoomi wouldn’t be home to have dinner with you anyways- and now that you think about it, you can’t remember the last time you had dinner together. after you finish your bath and eat your dinner, you decide to wait up for boyfriend and watch a couple episodes of your favorite show to pass the time.

kiyoomi walks into his apartment at around 1 am, completely and utterly exhausted. he kicks his shoes off and drops his bag on the floor. The rustling rouses you from sleep and you sit up.

“hey kiyo” you say with a yawn, “where’ve you been all night?”

sakusa ignores you in favor of getting ready for bed and you frown when he brushes past you.

“kiyo, babe, what’s wrong? you’ve been ignoring me all night and i-” you start but he interrupts you before you can finish.

“god, just shut up, y/n. can’t you tell i don’t want to talk to you right now? i’ve already had the worst day, i don’t need you making it any worse.” he snaps

"kiyoomi, look, i understand you’re upset but you shouldn’t take it out on me.” you reason, reaching out towards him, “listen, i’m here if you wanna-”

“i said, do not touch me.” he seethes. “you are so fucking clingy y/n, lord, let me breathe a little.”

with those words, you explode. “you know what, sakusa,” he flinches when he hears his last name come out of your mouth, “i think i have the right to want to spend some time with my boyfriend! i haven’t seen you in god knows how long- you leave before i wake up and i fall asleep in an empty bed. i’ve been working my ass off to get some time off to watch your stupid volleyball game and what do you do? you embarrass me in front of your whole team!”

you sigh, wiping away the tears that continue that continue to fall. “listen, i don’t want to fight right now. i’m going to go stay at a friend’s house for the night, alright? i’ll see you tomorrow” you say, grabbing your purse. “if you’re even home tomorrow,” you add under your breath.

sakusa is in shock. the moment he saw your tears start to spill, he felt an undeniable and unrelenting ache in his chest that only seemed to grow with every work that came out of your mouth. and when the door shut? sakusa fell on his knees, his heart dropping. he truly couldn’t believe he said that to you. now all he had to do was wait till you got home.

2:38 pm - you check the time on your phone before pulling out your keys. you hope you made the right move, choosing to come back home while kiyoomi was still at practice. you open the door and the sight causes your eyes to widen.

there, on the couch with your favorite flowers in hand, is your boyfriend. he hears the door open and stands up abruptly.

“y/n, my love, i am so sorry. i truly cannot express how horrible i feel, and i cannot begin to understand how you feel.” he takes a deep breath, seemingly holding back tears. “i- i do love you. i love you more than i’ve ever loved anyone in my entire life. i know i’m not the best at expressing it, but you mean the world to me- no, you are my world. without you, i don’t know what i would do. so please-” his voice cracks, “just, please give me another chance?”

you run towards your boyfriend, practically tackling him. “kiyo, baby, of course. i love you too, you know? you just can’t do that anymore, yeah? you shouldn’t feel like you have the right to embarrass me just because you had a bad day. and please, don’t call me clingy? i know i do stick to you like glue sometimes, but that’s just because i never see you anymore.” you reply.

“that will all change, darling.” he answers sincerely, “i’ll make more time for you, i swear. in fact, i’ll take the week off, how does that sound?” at the sight of your smile, he relaxes.

“that sounds wonderful, yoomi.” you answer

sakusa feels the weight that’s been dragging him down lift and he realizes the effect you have on him- you’re his breath of fresh air. he also realizes how utterly idiotic it was to push away the one person who could make him feel better.

it’s fine, he reasons, he’ll just never make that mistake again. he swears it.

3K notes · View notes

httpdabi · 3 years

Text

Break up

Summary: After having a messed up break up, your best friend Dabi is there to comfort you, and give even more than you asked for.

Word count: 5,2k

Genre: romance, smut, no quirks haha

Warnings: 18+, creampie, public sex, spitting, choking..

,, I fucking hate him’’ you cried loudly, mouth full of ice cream as you talked to your cousin over the phone. At this point you didn’t care of how loud you were, and you didn’t care about the fact that your cousin had a hard time understanding you since you were a crying mess. Sobbing loudly, you ignored the words coming from the other line.

,, That bitch cheated on me with Toga, can you believe that?’’ you sobbed, tears rolling down your cheeks as you wrapped yourself with your favorite comfort blanket.

,, The girlie with weird hair ?’’ your cousin asked in shock.

,,YES, the fuck she thinking she’s the fifth element with that hairstyle?’’ you choked out, throwing the empty package across the room, as your cousin giggled because of your remark. She wished she was closer so she could pay you a visit, but sadly miles and miles were separating the two of you.

Sure, the first person you wanted to inform about your breakup was Touya, but you couldn’t force yourself to bother him, knowing he’s probably on work. You knew very well that he would drop everything and come over, saying how he doesn’t feel well or some other shit, and you didn’t want that.

After the call ended, you stood up, ignoring your reflection on the window, knowing very well that you look like shit right now with all the smudged mascara over your face. Tears started rolling down your cheeks even more when you saw that there’s no ice cram anymore. What did you do to deserve such a torture.

Wearing your hoodie, you made your way toward the nearest store, ignoring the people that were giving you weird stares because of your silly Sailor Moon pajama shorts. You couldn’t care less of what anyone thought in that moment.

You went to the store with the intention to buy ice cream, only to end up in the part of it with variant different choices of hairdye. So many ideas were going thru your mind, as you looked all over it. You almost ended up buying the pink dye and some bleach, until you saw scissors hanging beside the bleach.

Grabbing the scissors only, you hurried up to pay everything you chose, rolling your eyes shamelessly as you saw Rumi, the cashier of the fucking day. For some weird reason, you almost hated the muscular bitch. Maybe it was because she never had the exchange to give you back, giving you a pack of gums instead. Maybe it was because of her attitude, always giving you some smart comments, how your skirt is too short, how there are kids here, or even because she always rolled her eyes when she saw you coming in.

,, Looks like someone had a rough day’’ she commented sarcastically, as you gave your best to keep calm and ignore her. After the comment, she shut her mouth and did her job.

,, Sweetie, can you help?’’ she asked, suddenly with a cute tone, when her co-worker asked her to bring him few paper bags that were beside her.

,, No, you are doing great’’ you spat, grabbing all of the items as you hurried out of the store. The fuck would you help her? She’s getting paid for it, not you. Stupid bitch.

Placing the ice cream into the freezer, you immediately made your way to the toilet as you unpacked the scissors almost aggressively. Why would you dye and ruin your hair with bleach, when you could just cut off a bit of your hair, which meant the exact length of his dick.

Your hair was already long, and the fact that his dick wasn’t that big meant that you would only cut few inches. After short calculating, you grabbed the scissors, as you turned some silly tutorial on Youtube. Watching yourself in the mirror, you cried even harder, not because you regretted your decision. It was more because you looked like a lunatic.

After you finished, you immediately washed your face, cleaning all the ruined make up. Sure it didn’t look like a professional person did your hairstyle, but it didn’t look bad either, in fact, you liked it.

Since you weren’t in the mood to do your make up, you only put a bit of face cream over your face, and bit of mascara to make your eyes pop up a bit, before you took few selfies to post on instagram.

You were too lazy to do it, all you wanted to do in the moment was cry some more and eat ice cream you just bought, while watching something on Netflix. But you had to do it, you had to embarrass him as much he embarrassed you.

,, Not gonna miss those 5 inches, Kai.’’

You wrote, laughing ironically at the caption under your selfie. It wasn’t the best selfie you ever took, but at least you didn’t look like you were suffering because of the breakup, and the much shorter hair was visible on it.

[cyxnaf] Touya Todoroki

,, What happened?’’

It wasn’t even a minute since you posted your photo on the instagram, and your best friend already messaged you there.

Bitch cheated on me

You replied, sending him a crying selfie, with a spoon in your mouth.

[cyxnaf] Touya Todoroki

I’ll be there in 15 mins

A smile crept on your face, as you read his message. You loved him more than anyone or anything else on the whole word. If it was someone else coming over, you would probably force yourself and clean the apartment. But since it was Dabi, you didn’t give a shit.

The moment he arrived, you started bawling your eyes out. Having a face to face conversation with someone, talking about the break up made your feelings awake again. Dabi in other hand tried to make you feel better, bringing you your favorite snacks, and trying to put Kai down.

,, I’ve never had drama, unless it’s with my inner self’’ you cried loudly. ,, And all of sudden, I’m being cheated on.’’ Adding you grabbed the chips from the paper bag and opened it almost aggressively. Touya laughed you out, pointing every drama you’ve been connected to.

,, Stop it, you’re supposed to make me feel better’’ you slapped his arm lightly, as he talked about the drama that happened back in high school, when you got into a huge fight with a girl that called your dog a rat.

Once Touya realized that your mood was only getting worse, he turned some documentary on Netlfix that he started watching few days ago, explaining everything about it to you. You couldn’t help but smile, as you listened to him explaining every small thing, making sure you won’t be confused once he plays the episode.

,, You only watched few episodes of one murder documentary and you think you’re Mr. worldwide intellectual.’’ You laughed, as he tried to explain professionally.

,, The fuck you talking about ? The only documentary you watch is Keeping up with the Kardashians, so shut the fuck up’’ he spat, rolling his eyes playfully as he played the documentary.

The thing he played was about some murder, nothing you would watch on your own, but you didn’t mind. Seeing him talk about it so excitedly made your heart warm and in that moment you didn’t care if you won’t be able to sleep next few days.

You always loved spending your time with Touya, you simply loved how even when none of you had something to say, the silence was never uncomfortable. Even just sitting with him was making you feel safe.

,, You really choped your hair’’ he said, as he started to play with your hair. Being tired from all the crying and with his gentle movements, you were not capable of replying, simply nodding your head in response.

,, It looks good on you’’ Touya complimented you, placing a soft kiss on top of your head. He noticed that you were zooming out, so he just continued to caress your, helping you fall asleep.

All the horrible thoughts he had washed away, once he saw your sleeping face. He could only smile to himself as he noticed how puffy your face got from all the crying. Sure, it wasn’t that visible, but he simply noticed it and found it more then cute.

He tried to act calm and suppress his feelings, he tried to be there for you, but when you talked about what happened, all he wanted to do was find that piece of shit of your ex and simply kill him. He couldn’t understand how did you always manage to find some weird boyfriends that didn’t appreciate and treat you as you deserved.

If you only gave him a chance, he would always be there for you, he would simply give you anything you wished for. Touya never understood how could you be so blind, never once did you notice his feelings for you. Never once did you question his behavior.

Every time you called him over, he would ditch all his plans and run to you. Every time you needed something, you knew very well that only Touya will help you 100%.

You woke up in your bedroom, a little bit confused about what time it was and if your best friend was still there. Taking your phone to check what time it is, your eyes widened when you saw a Instagram notification from Kai. That piece of shit had balls to like your photo.

Throwing your phone away, you started crying again, wishing the day you met him never happened. You wished you listened to your best friend when he told you that Chisaki ain’t the one for you.

,, You ok?’’ you heard Touya’s voice under the loud TV noise. In just a second he was beside you, warming your body with his own and wrapping his arms around you, telling you how everything is ok and how he’s there for you.

,, Come on, stand up’’ Touya commanded suddenly, forcing your upper body up. ,, We are leaving’’ he added, forcing you out of the bed. You were too confused to even think at that very moment, but you found yourself following his lead. Wearing one of your very oversized shirt that covered more than enough, you hurried out of your bedroom to Toyua who was waiting for you already all ready.

You didn’t know what was happening, and the pack of eggs in his hand was confusing the shit out of you, yet you found yourself in the passenger seat, doing whatever Touya planned at that moment.

,, Where are we going ?’’ you asked, tears long gone.

,, We’re egging his car’’ he said, as your eyes widened in shock.

,, Is that even legal?’’ you asked again, already all excited about it.

,, Nope’’ Touya laughed out, focused on the road. You were sure that Kai would know it was you, definitely. But he also won’t have balls to call the police on you, since you knew about all his dirty deeds, you knew about all the drugs he’s taking and having hidden somewhere in his house.

Kai didn’t live far away from you, so in only few minutes of drive the two of you found yourself in front of his car. Lighting one cigarette, Dabi took the paper that was placed on the windshield.

,, Stop perking on my spot’’ Dabi read out loud, pointing out the word he wrote wrongly. You laughed loudly as you remembered about Kai telling you about some dude parking his Motorcycle in front of his car, making it hard to get out of the spot for him.

,, He can’t write, but he can do meth I guess’’ you laughed, as Touya puffed on his cigarette.

You stood there close to Kai’s car, as you waited for your best friend to finish his cigarette. It was a quiet night, with no people around at all. Maybe it was the adrenaline that was rushing in your blood, or the fact that you spent all day crying like a mad person, but in that very moment all you felt was anger as you thought about your ex.

,,Here’’ Touya gave you the package, still smoking that cigarette. You weren’t sure if he took his time with cigarette or if the time was simply passing so slow for you, since he was a pretty fast smoker.

To his surprise, you grabbed one egg and immediately threw it on his car, making him rise his eyebrows and laugh in shock. You never did something like that before, so you didn’t really understand why the alarm didn’t go on. Was your throw too weak?

A huge grin formed on your lips as you threw another egg, you couldn’t stop the evil laugh as you watched the egg yolk all over the window and in that moment you wished you had rotten eggs instead. Watching you happy like that, Touya couldn’t hide his smile. He was almost sure that everyone could read his emotions, he was sure that everyone could say how much in love he was with you.

You were on your fourth egg when Touya took one from the package and threw it. You weren’t sure if he threw it with much more force, or if he already did this before, but when the egg hit the car, loud alarm took over the peaceful night.

,, Shit, we have to hurry’’ Touya said under his breath as both of you threw one more egg. Sure, Kai won’t call the police, but if someone else saw you, they sure will.

You were laughing loudly, as you took your last egg, ready to throw it while Touya explained to you at what you should aim for.

,, HEY’’ you heard a familiar voice, coming from the building you used to spend so much time in. Not even turning around, you threw the egg and rushed to Toyua’s car, hopping fast into passenger seat. The moment Kai got out, everything happened too fast.

You wished you could take a photo of his upset face as he looked over your car. You were sure that you never saw him mad like that.

,, YOU FUCKING SUCK’’ he yelled once he turned the alarm off, while Dabi was ready to drive off, laughing loudly with you.

,, AND YOU SWALLOW BITCH’’ you yelled, popping your head thru the window. Touya gave you a bit time to flip him a bird, before he drove fast off, leaving your ex boyfriend pissed on the road. Laughing loudly, you leaned back into the seat, satisfied with the little event your best friend thought of.

,, You are seriously the best’’ you said, still smiling widely. Touya nodded his head, focused on the road. Every time he took a look of you, his heart would skip a beat. He was so fucking glad that you weren’t sad anymore, at least not for now.

You weren’t sure what had he planned next, since he wasn’t driving back home, but you didn’t care. You enjoyed his company, and you enjoyed the fact that you felt nothing else beside happiness in the moment. It was weird how fast emotions were taking over you. Just one hour ago you were a crying mess, and all of sudden you found yourself enjoying the night with your best friend.

You didn’t even realize how hungry you were, until Touya stopped by McDonalds to buy some food. Once he came back, placing the milkshakes and paper bag into your lap, you almost started drooling from the delicious smell.

He parked on the spot beside lake, where the two of you usually come to chill a bit. The music played on the low as the two of you ate slowly and talked about casual stuff. The moment a song from the famous tiktoker started playing in the background, you wished your hands weren’t so oily from the food. You wanted to change the song, but you didn’t want to make your phone oily, you weren’t even sure why you had that song in your playlist after all.

,, Does this song bother you?’’ he asked, taking a sip from his milkshake.

,, Yeah there’s a word that’s pissing me off’’ you rolled your eyes in annoyance.

,,Which one?’’ he asked confused.

,,When she says This ain’t build a bitch, you don’t get to pick or choose, what she should have said is nothing and just never release that stupid song’’ you hissed, wiping your hands as you changed the song that was pissing you off so much.

,, You are so cute’’ he complimented you, as both of you placed the rest of the food in the paper bag. Everything you did was cute to him, the was you sneeze is cute to him, the way you rise your brows when you are surprised, the way you laugh at your own jokes sometimes. Everything.

,,Did you know that Yumi got pregnant ?’’He asked you suddenly. Your eyes widened in shock, as you heard him ask, not because it was weird or anything like that, the two of you always gossip, but because you knew Yumi so well. You weren’t best friends with her, but the two of you would casually meet up.

,, Wasn’t she on the pills?’’ you asked, covering your mouth with your left hand. ,, Oh fuck no, I don’t claim this negative energy’’ you gasped shaking your head as Dabi laughed at your sudden reaction.

Talking about pregnancy and sex, you found yourself thinking about the last time you slept with your ex. You didn’t feel any sadness, all you felt was disappointment and anger. Just the thought that he was the last one inside you was making you mad, and the fact that only god knows when will you sleep with someone again was making you mad even more.

It’s not that you were a prude, or that you had something against one night stands. Sure, you could install Tinder and just find a quick fuck, knowing very well that the thought will bother you until the problem in your head is solved. But you weren’t the one to jump under the covers with a complete stranger.

,, What’s up?’’ Dabi asked once he saw you confused and lost in your thoughts. Hearing his voice, a sudden idea popped up in your head. You shook your head, trying to not think about it. He is your best friend for fucks sake, you can’t use him for something like that.

,, Nothing’’ you shook your head once again, trying to avoid his eyes.

,, Oh come on, tell me’’ he said stubbornly, as he placed his cigarette between his lips.

,, You know, the fact that Kai was the last person I had sex with, and the fact that I don’t know how long it will stay that way is bothering me’’ you confessed, skipping the part with the rest of your thoughts.

,, and you thought I could help you with it’’ Touya joked, as he puffed on his cigarette.

,, How did you know?’’ You asked way too fast, regretting it almost immediately once he almost choked onto the air and the smoke of his cigarette.

,, You can’t be serious’’ Touya said under his breath, closing his eyes as he spoke those words out. You weren’t sure why, but your heart sank a bit once you heard him say that.

,, Ah come on, it can be a quick fuck, it won’t change anything between us’’ he whined, turning your body to his direction. Once you said that, Touya grabbed you and forced you into his lap. You were more then shocked by his action, but you still positioned yourself comfortably in his lap, not sure if you should say anything or just wait..

,, You think I’ll be able to go back after it ?’’ he asked, one hand holding your waist firmly, and other holding his cigarette. ,, Doll, you should know better than anyone that I don’t do quick fucks’’ he added, as his grip got stronger. You weren’t sure if you should be embarrassed or not, but you felt uneasy at that moment, not sure where this all is leading.

,, If we do it now, there’s no going back doll, you’ll belong to me’’ he added again, as you sat in his lap confused. It was weird to hear him talk like that.

,, Touya, that can fuck up our friendship’’ you whispered. You were way too confused, not sure if he was talking about a relationship with you or just about you not sleeping with anyone else beside him.

,, And a quick fuck won’t do it?’’ he hissed, throwing the finished cigarette out of his window. He was right, both of it could fuck it up, and your idea was probably the worse option. The problem you had just few minutes ago was long gone, as new thoughts took over your mind. The fact that he was slowly placing soft kisses all over your neck didn’t help the situation, and the fact that you tiled your head to the side to give him more access to it didn’t help either.

You weren’t sure if you were simply too horny in the moment and if emotions took over you, but one part of you wanted to give it a try, yet another part of you was simply too scared of losing him. You did think about it before, how lucky can a girl be to call herself his girlfriend!? He’s not like other guys, at least not to you. He was always so caring, so gentle and so loving with you. He was the one who was always there for you, and in fact, you were more than sure that if you two start something, you won’t end up being hurt. But the fact that your friendship was under a question because of it was making you scared. Touya is the only person you never want to lose, and he knew that very well.

,, What do you say doll? Wanna try?’’ he asked, as he kissed your jaw softly. You weren’t sure how were you even capable of thinking at all in that moment.

,, Yes’’ you breathed out, closing your eyes shut as you enjoyed his soft kisses. Could you really lose him? If you had to worry about it so much, you should worry about the very exact moment. Why wouldn’t the current event ruin your friendship, now that you know that he doesn’t really see you as a friend as much as you thought. If you start some kind of a relationship with him, and if it doesn’t work, the two of you could talk it out.

The moment you said yes, Touya grabbed your yaw with his right hand, brushing his nose with your own before he connected his lips with yours. Once you placed your hands on his cheeks, trying to get closer to him, he couldn’t help but smile into the kiss.

What really drove him crazy was you rolling your hips on him. The fact that you had nothing else under your oversized shirt than your favorite panties almost made him cum in that very moment. Breaking the kiss, he leaned back into the seat, as you tried to catch your breath. Touya pulled your shirt up, exposing your naked chest. Not wasting any time, he placed his left on your right boob, pinching and twisting your already hard nipple, while sucking the other one.

Just the feeling of his hot breath made you throw your head back, enjoying the sucking and squeezing he was giving you. You placed your hands on his shoulders, finding support in it. Every roll you did with your hips, was met with his own one, making you feel his hard erection under his sweatpants. A quiet moan escaped your lips when you felt him bite on your nipple few times before he got back onto sucking it again.

Touya pulled your hips up a bit, giving you a sign to stay in that position as he pulled his sweatpants and boxers down, just enough for his dick to spring up. You knew that he had a dick piercing, in fact, you were in the waiting room when he decided to get it, but you still were shocked. It looked so good, so attractive.

You wanted to get out of his lap, you wanted to taste him, but his hands stopped you. Pushing you back onto his lap once again.

,, You have no idea how much I love you’’ he said, brushing his lips on your own, as he pushed your panties to the side and rubbed the tip of his dick around your hole.

,, I love you too, so much’’ you confessed, kissing him softly, as the pink head of his dick slowly entered you, hands on your hips slowly leading you down onto his length, until he was all in.

,, I know’’ Touya smirked into the kiss, enjoying the warmth of your walls hugging his dick. The hands on your hips slowly started to lead your hips up and down. The pace was so slow you could feel every inch of his dick rubbing against your velvety walls. Touya wasn’t one to enjoy the slow pace that much, but with you it was something else. He wanted to feel you as much as possible, and pushing his dick so slow into you gave him that possibility.

Just thinking about how it finally happened almost made him cream inside you. Closing his eyes, he let you move up and down his dick on your own. When you nuzzled your head into his neck he almost lost it, holding your hips down for few seconds just to calm his dick down. The small I love you that you whispered into his neck all over again didn’t help either, making it hard for him to control himself.

His hand found its way under your shirt, while his lips were all over your neck now, leaving sloppy marks all over it. You weren’t sure what did you enjoy more, his lips and hot breath over your neck, sucking and biting it, his hand squeezing your left breast or his dick deep inside you rubbing against your cervix.

Even tho you were moving your hips so slow, every time you were pushing your hips down, his would move upward, snapping against you with a little force and hitting your cervix perfectly. The both of you were breathing heavily, enjoying every second of the slow sex you had.

Wrapping his arms around you, he pulled your body closer to his, as he started moving just a little bit faster. You squeezed your eyes shut, as you realized that your climax was getting closer and closer with every move. Touya noticed your breathing getting faster, and your walls hugging his dick tighter then before, as he pulled your body up a bit, pushing you against the steering wheel and giving himself more access to move and fuck you a bit faster and stronger then before.

Moaning loudly, you wrapped your arms around him as you came all over his dick, almost shocked that you came without any clit stimulation. Dabi didn’t stop fucking you, helping you ride off the hard orgasm that just hit you.

Once he was sure you were done, he sat down. He lowered his seat, as he changed the position, locking you under him. Without giving you a chance to understand anything, he pushed his dick inside you.

,, I’m not done with you’’ he groaned, as he started moving his hips at much faster pace then before. Instead of saying anything, you wrapped your legs around him, placing your hands around his neck and just kissing him again. You couldn’t get enough of him, and luckily he felt the same. Accepting everything you had to offer, gladly.

The slow and steady pace was long forgotten, as he fucked you into the seat of his car with much more force and at one ungodly speed. You were pretty sure that the car was moving with every move he did, and you were sure if someone happened to be near, they would know what’s going on, but that was the last thing you cared of.

You were a moaning mess under him, and he was no better than you. You were surprised when you felt his hand around your throat, holding you in one place and playing with your breath. Open your mouth for me was all he said, before you felt thick saliva in your mouth. When it started, you thought it would be only some vanilla sex, the last thing you thought was that he would end up choking you and spitting in your mouth.

If it was someone else, you would probably freak out, but since it was him, you only obeyed, mouth open and tongue out, giving him approval for more.

,,That’s my good girl’’ he said, as he spat into your mouth one more time, while his grip around your neck only grew stronger. He was moving at rapidly speed, his skin slapping against your own was louder than the music that was playing in the background.

You closed your eyes as you started catching your breath once his hand moved away from your neck. Touya couldn’t control himself anymore, grabbing the edges of the seat, as he fucked into you. The pain mixed with pleasure was too intense for you, but you are his good girl, and you are doing so great for him, he made sure you understood that, as he repeated it all over again, while fucking into you.

The moment you felt his fingers rubbing your clit in circles, all you could do was squeeze your eyes shut, moaning loudly, as he told you to cum all over his dick, so you did as you were told and that was enough for him to reach his own high. Few harsh moves and he found himself cuming deep inside you. Even Toyua doesn’t know how did he find the energy to tell you how good you are milking his dick, but he did.

Collapsing on top of you, he fucked his seed inside of you, making sure not a single drop will get outside of your tight little out, making sure none of it will go to waste.

,, You’re mine’’ he said, placing soft kisses all over your face, and you were his. You were always his and he was always yours.

You weren’t sure how long would it take you to get over your stupid ex, but you were sure that Touya will be there for you and help you out in every way he can. Starting from the moment the two of you left your apartment, to the very moment the two of you cuddled inside of his car, after one steamy sex. All you could think of was your best friend and what would future bring you.

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evacado3 · 3 years

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Miyeon Kim

I'm quite bored but this topic interested me, and it's for @aviyannakalistos my bestie as well. So here's my Oc's back story. No need to read if uninterested though!

Miyeon grew up without knowing her wealth, worth, or what to fight for. So when she was bullied, she didn't think much.

She was 15 and thought it was normal, people had to go through this to grow up. Miyeon didn't realized that appearance was a scary thing. It was only because her eyes were naturally yellow she had to carry big dark bruises around school.

When her father found out, he was furious. Not only was her family rich, their connections itself could shut down her school.

Though those bullies went missing shortly, blame them for touching Goo's favorite cousin.

But insecurities don’t go away just like that, she likes to wear sunglasses to cover her eyes outside.

Goo eventually caved into Miyeon’s begging, agreeing to teach her martial arts (more of using weapons lol)

Then he saw the potential in her, they’re from the same bloodline, and the thing they had in common, was definitely the want for wealth.

After hearing about the up rising business, Goo pulled her into it as well making her the seventh genius. And she’s the planner behind controlling the four crews.

Cold and ruthless, isn’t too friendly with any of the other geniuses and hides her emotions, doesn’t think she’d be accepted for her personality. She’s definitely not open minded like her cousin.

She was eventually kicked out as the chairmen found no more use for her. Joongoo felt bad as this hits her self esteem harshly, so he entrusted her talent with Yujin, the chairmen of workers.

Now she’s Yujin’s bodyguard, planner, and secret assassin.

Is a every fun and loving person but also very serious about her job, will protect yujin with her life until she gets her revenge on Charles Choi.

She mastered using three section staff, bladed staffs, daggers and knows a little kyokushin karate after spying on Gun training. Her main weapon is traditional chinese fan (imbued with carbon steel and sharp edges)

Miyeon is no genius, she’s actually not the best at fighting without weapons, but that’s why for her, even a piece of paper in her hands could turn deadly.

And her victims all had one thing in common, either an empty eye socket or wounded eyes. It shows that she still feels inferior to people with more normal eyes and is jealous of it.

This is her working for the chairmen at first

And this is her now with workers

Miyeon has finally earned the right to express herself, and now acts as she wishes.

Including going in maniac mode, and yeah you’ll see the resemblance between her and Goo.

Right now she has been sent to J high fashion department to watch over some threats for yujin, doesn’t speak to anyone yet is somewhat famous for her looks

Basic info

Age right now- 18

Height- 162

Weight- never ask a women’s weight

Eyes- yellow

Half Chinese, half Korean

INTJ-T during work, ENTP-T off work

Likes

Rich, powerful men

Money 💰

Good style

Cigarettes, loads of cigarettes

Suits (with gloves

Notebooks (has her own collection)

Jonggun

Dislikes

Naive people

Children

Unwillingness to listen

Just plain dumb people

And uncalled for rudeness, watch your back if you mess with her

Yujin basically gives her anything she wants, and if she has eyes on someone, by all means Miyeon could kill without hesitation.

==========

Miyeon content

-with yujin pt1

-with gun pt1

-background story pt1

-age

-scars

-love interests pt1 pt2 pt3 pt4

-fashion

-tattoos pt1 pt2 pt3

-family

-relationship with workers

-sketches (first design, hate it though) pt2

-oc insert pt1

-questions for oc pt1

-music taste

-nationality, languages she speaks

-interacting with mutual’s ocs pt1

-quotes 1 2 3 4 5

-in her thirties pt1

-vibes

#webtoon lookism #lookism webtoon #lookism #lookism oc #oc artwork #oc #goo kim

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quirklessidiot · 3 years

Text

title : cigarettes and parfaits [1] pairing : older!nanami kento x younger!reader [13 year age gap, ft toji fushiguro] Genre: romance, fluff, super duper mild angst, slice of life, josei, bad comedy, strangers to lovers au

Summary: you’re pretty sure you’d remember marrying a man 13 years older than you, right?

Warnings: alcohol, smoking, very,very mild smut, y/n making stupid decisions, everyones a human-au so yeh non-canon stuff and everyone’s happy (periODT BECAUSE NANAMI DESERVES HAPPINESS)

Notes: after repeatedly giving you jjk angst, i have been very happy to announce that i am able to write something fluffy now. Yay! (Anyways this is based on the manga sesame salt and pudding, yall better read that. It’s just *chefs kiss*) also this may or may not be written ebcause of the amount of smoll nanami content i’m seeing around this site hmPH

masterlist || taglist || [next ; updates every friday]

The sound of your alarm blared at the crack of dawn, making you immediately jerk up in an unfashionable manner, you shouldn’t drink on Sunday nights. Good lord, why did you even do that?-

Your thoughts are cut short though when you feel something, better yet, someone, next to you. It’s dark but you could definitely tell that whoever this stranger is, had settled himself quite comfortably by your side. You blink once then twice then slowly reached out to switch your lamp open to get a good look on who was next to you.

Thankfully, you’re still in your clothes from last night.

Also, who the fuck is this?

Your brows are furrowed together as you try to remember who this person was. Blonde hair and jaw so sharp that it could probably cut the vegetables on your kitchen counter, some fine lines littered his face as he wrinkled his forehead in his sleep.

The tie on his neck is loose as you slowly peered to observe him even more and for some odd reason that made your ears turn bright red as you check out his rather lean figure (he wasn’t overly muscular, he was just right)

“Oh shit.” You mumbled, snapping out of your daze, you had to focus! This was a stranger for crying out loud, “Who the-”

Before you could even say anything more, his eyes shot open and you’re greeted by chocolate brown eyes. You try to stutter out a reply, clearly in your frazzled state the only thing you could let out was, “What the fuck?”

“Oh, you’re awake.” his voice was deep and quite raspy, and daresay, it suited his rather sharp appearance.

Was this stranger awake this whole time that you were gawking at him under the dim light? Your ears turn even a brighter shade of pink. Was it just the heater or was this room getting hotter than it should be?

Yet despite your flustered state though, he thankfully remains oblivious, “Are you feeling any better?” he asks.

Despite his bland facial expression, there was a certain warmth in his tone and that made your heart beat quicken. It wasn’t everyday that you’d wake up to find a good looking older gentleman next to you after all, “I’m good…” You shyly replied, the confidence you had moments ago while you were cursing him was gone when you heard his soft tone, “I- sorry but who are you? What happened?”

He stares at you for a moment and purses his lips, “Nanami Kento.” he introduces himself briefly. From the likes of it, he seemed like a professional, “To be honest, I don’t have much recollection from last night due to the alcohol. When I woke up a few moments ago, you wouldn’t let go and I had no choice but to lay there and wait for you to wake up.”

You paled just a bit at his explanation and turned bright red right after, how embarrassing! Not only did you just embarrass yourself in front of this older gentleman awhile ago, you did something so unlike you last night! Thank god this ojisan was a lot more calmer than you. He didn’t even look that perplexed or annoyed by your state at all.

He runs his hands through his soft blonde hair after and lets out a low groan.

“D-Does your head hurt, Nanami-san?”

“Yes.”

“I-would you-” you tried to stammer a few words out yet you're immediately cut off by his phone ringing.

Right, boundaries. You shouldn’t overstep them since you already did so much last night to disturb him despite you two being so out of it. You watch him as he answers his cell phone in a quick and suave manner, all traces of hungover gone, “Nanami speaking.” He greets as soon as he answers the call, “I understand. Please try to help them out and I apologize for the inconvenience.”

He ends the call and stands up, tightening his tie. Despite him spending the night here, he still looked orderly and it’s so unfair because right now, you knew you looked like absolute shit with the alcohol and booze in your system.

“I have to take my leave now. I apologize for intruding.” he bows down formally.

You’re pretty sure you were the one who intruded, his actions makes you immediately stand up despite the throbbing headache which was definitely a wrong move because the moment you did, you felt your legs giving out.

Great.

“I-sorry, I would bow…” You tried to stammer out an apology, ears bright red once again, just how much could you embarrass yourself in front of this gentleman? “Sorry for the intrusion too Nanami-san.”

He leaves without saying anything much to your relief and as soon as you hear your front door close, you scream right at the pillow.

“Stupid, stupid, stupid!” You muffled at the pillow.

Thank God you wouldn’t be seeing him ever again!

“L/N-sensei.”

You turn to find Maki and Megumi standing there, they were members of a rather elite family in Tokyo, Most often you avoided bumping shoulders with Megumi’s father since he was, well, quite a tease and although you do admit that Toji Zen’in is a very good-looking and fine man from a very good background, you couldn’t look past the fact that you taught his kids mathematics and there was a good fifteen year age gap between you two, “Hi there.” A warm smile dances on your lips, “Is this about the earlier math problem again?”

The question was directed to Maki, Megumi wasn’t one to ask questions about his lessons since he wasn’t fond of academics.

“Actually, it isn’t. Toji-ojisan says you should come to his birthday.” Maki shrugged, “He says his 40th birthday wouldn’t be complete if you weren’t there.”

Ah, that’s why Megumi didn’t want to go alone. The young boy’s cheeks are painted pink, clearly embarrassed by his father’s antics, “Ah,” You laughed, trying to play it cool. Despite his father’s relentless teasing, he had never made you feel uncomfortable. If he hadn’t been asking you out a few times, you’d consider him a friend, “Your otosan does love to joke around a lot doesn’t he, Megumi-kun?”

“I could deck him for you if you’d like, sensei. I swear that old man needs to realize that you’re way too young and good for him.” He mumbles the last part, clearly annoyed.

“Oh have you gotten married, L/N-sensei?” Maki cuts her younger cousin off suddenly, clearly surprised, “I thought you never had a boyfriend..or girlfriend...or a lover…”

“I- excuse me?” You sweatdrop, “Married, where?”

“Am I mistaken? You have a silver band on your ring finger at your left hand.” Maki points out, “Congrats sensei! It seems like Toji-ojisan won’t be bothering you anymore!”

You were too much in a frazzled state this morning that you hadn’t even noticed the ring band on your finger. You weren’t married, heck, you haven’t dated since college but where in the hell did you get this ring?

“L/N-san?” You’re snapped back to reality by a coworker, “We have two new enrollees, would you mind handling them since they’ll be added to your section?”

“Right,” You smile, “That’s my cue to leave. I’ll get going now. Enjoy your snack time.”

Before Maki could say anything more about the silverband on your ring finger, you scurried away to the faculty room, shaking that weird feeling off since you had to get back to work.

Job first, ring later.

As you went in, two abnormally bleached pink hair stood out and you could immediately tell that they were going to be the new kids that you’d be teaching. You walk closer, realizing how much they looked alike despite the markings on the other.

“Hi, Good morning.” You greeted kindly, “You must be the new kids.”

“Ah,” the one with tattoo markings on his face gloated, “Aren’t you too bright?”

“Sukuna, shut up.” his twin frowned, “Sorry Sensei, My brother isn’t feeling so well since our ojisan had told us off before going to school.”

It seemed like the other twin would be a handful, nevertheless, you were still going to be his teacher so you let out a small smile, “It’s fine.” You waved off, “We all have bad days, don’t we? I’m L/N-sensei and I’ll be your homeroom and math teacher.”

“Hai.” The one without tattoos replied, enthusiasm leaking on his tone, “Itadori Yuuji and this is Itadori Sukuna, please take care of us.”

You watch Yuuji force his twin to bow down to show a sign of respect. For a high schooler, Sukuna and Yuuji’s parents seemed so lax, bleached hair and tattoos? That was definitely a first one on your list. You take a look at the data they passed and a small frown settles on your lips, it seemed like you had to take back the words you said earlier.

Both their parents had died a few years ago.

You cleared your throat and tried to put on the smile and enthusiasm from earlier, “I’ll be sure to introduce you to the class right after break and since it’s your first day I’ll be lax but please try not to go in late again.”

Yuuji’s grin remains the same as he agrees enthusiastically while Sukuna still looks mildly uninterested, something that you realize oh-so quickly that you’ll have to get used to.

After introducing the twins to the class, you settle on your desk at the faculty and peer at the ring on your finger. The only conclusion you could come up with was that this was from the older gentleman from the night before but why would he even give you a ring?

It didn’t even look cheap and it was surprisingly just your size, meaning it was definitely for you.

You inwardly let out a groan as you placed your hand on top of your eyes. God, you definitely needed to lay off the alcohol next time. You feel the phone in your pocket start to ring, peerlessly glancing at the unknown number. People really need to lay off the scam calls.

“Hello, I’m sorry I’m not-”

“Yo-ho, is this Y/N-chan?” The voice on the other line is so unfamiliar yet familiar at the same time.

“Uh, who is this?”

“Is your husband with you?” the voice sounds so playful and teasing that you almost ignore what he had just said earlier.

“E-Excuse me?” You sputtered out, cheeks turning red, “I don’t have a husband.”

“Huh…” the playful voice switches to disappointment, “Don’t tell me you forgot what happened with us last night, L/N-chan.”

You feel something bubbling on your stomach, oh no, this definitely didn’t sound good!

“I- wait, what? who are you? What do you mean? what happened?” countless of questions started to pile up in your head and out of your mouth, panic immediately engulfing you because for a prank call this guy sounded way too legit, confirming your irresponsibility the night before.

“Silly Y/N-chan. How could you ever forget me? I’m such an important person! I’m Gojo Satoru, your witness from your wedding!”

taglist (if crossed out, i cant tag u im so sorry ack ;-;)

; @coldbookworm ; @frankenstein852 ; @neavil ; @shephard17895 @kristineyoshaii ; @airybnb

@Kurok1717 ; @hcn421 ; @shinhiromi ; @airybnb ; ;

#jjk x reader #jujutsu kaisen imagines #jujutsu kaisen fanfic #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jujutsu kaisen fanfiction #jujutsu kaisen headcanons #nanami kento x reader #nanami kento x you

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angelsxbelle · 3 years

Text

growing up in love with you.

w/ oikawa, kuroo, and daichi

helloooo my beautiful beans:) i’m here to feed you with some more hurt comfort headcanons/scenarios since we’re all lonely and in love with anime boys :’)))

likes and reblogs are very appreciated!!!

genre: fluff and angst, hurt comfort, slice of life

pairings: oikawa x reader, daichi x reader, kuroo x reader x fem! reader

listen to: line without a hook, ricky montgomery

@moonhere i’m pretty sure this was your request with oikawa i’m so sorry this took so long omg

note: takes place during timeskip so beware of spoilers!!

warnings: mentions of violence, mentions of female anatomy and pronouns

oikawa, TOORU

oikawa tooru appears to have his life together on the outside, but in his mind he still feels like he’ll never be enough

in your relationship, he’s worked impossibly hard to better himself to the point where he’s not insecure which would cause a strain on the both of you, but he still has moments where he lets himself become consumed in his own thoughts

being with you has been possibly the best thing ever to happen to him, but at the same time he’s still terrified of losing you

when his worries start to consume him again, he can’t stop obsessively worrying over the possibility that you’ll find someone better than him, that you deserve someone better than him

oikawa can sometimes hide his insecurities by acting cocky, but you’ve gotten good at reading him so you can easily tell when he’s feeling insecure or unsure of himself

so when it springs up that you’ve been invited to your cousin’s wedding along with a plus one, he’s more than happy to accompany you as he loves fancy events like weddings

you make the preparations together, he helps you pick out a gift for the couple while you go shopping for a new dress to wear

overall, you’re both excited to make the journey back to your hometown to watch your cousin make his marriage official, you both know the ceremony will probably be amazing, as well as the festivities after

when you get there, you’re both immediately swarmed by relatives, exclaiming how excited they are to meet your longtime boyfriend and how happy they are to see everyone together

as the ceremony starts, you’re both on the edges of your seats waiting as you see the bride delicately step past you down the aisle, waiting to secure her vows with your cousin

the formalities went amazing, as all of your relatives sat in tears as the couple at the podium exchanged beautiful vows and the rings were slipped on each others’ fingers

after, everyone moved to the building next door as the wedding was help at a chapel at the edge of a forest, with the after party being a building next to it, walls made of glass so the guests could view the beautiful scenery outside

tooru is more than willing to show off his dancing skills at the beginning, and dinner goes well before your relatives and family get together to do group dances and disperse into separate conversations afterwards

as the lights get dimmer and the atmosphere of the party start to settle, tooru sits at your table as he watches you chatter away with your relatives.

he watches as you speak with such ease, never failing to coax a laugh out of even your stoniest aunts, he can’t help but think to himself how beautiful you are, and how incredibly lucky he is to have you

another man, he recognizes as the best man strolls up to you, striking up a conversation with you.

tooru knows it’s probably nothing, just a conversation, and he also knows you would never do anything to hurt him, so he’s content just watching you talk with someone else.

he watches the scene unfold like a movie, with him as a part of the background, just watching, waiting.

before, tooru would have been filled with a familiar uneasy feeling right about now, his stomach twisting uncomfortably in his body, mind filled with thoughts he wishes weren’t there.

he could only have hoped he was good enough for you.

thinking back through all the years with you, the memories, he remembers all the times you saved him from himself, the world, anything that had ever hurt him.

it was back in high school, the first day of oikawa tooru’s first year of high school, he walked around with his head held high to keep anyone from seeing how low he felt, cocky smirk to hide just how unsure he really was of himself.

it wasn’t love at first, he didn’t particularly remember the first time he saw you, but step by step as you got closer to him he realized that you had one thing his fangirls could never give him, stability, comfort, and home.

he found home in you every time it hurt too much.

the feeling that could only possibly have imprinted itself into oikawa’s conscience was the feeling of being seen for who he truly was, a feeling that he had almost never felt before.

and as you saw him, he saw you the same way in that you could always depend on each other, for every painful moment, every failure, every insecurity.

it was then that he knew he really was in love with you.

even as he cried with his face in your lap in his third year you were still there, running your fingers through his hair and reminding him that he was enough and that you couldn’t be more proud of him.

and as he packed his bags to fly halfway across the world, he watched you cry as he couldn’t believe how much he meant to you.

the final weeks you had leading up to your graduation, you spent as much time with each other as possible, desperately trying to keep hold of the fleeting moments passing between you.

as you stood together in the tokyo national airport looking out at the window over the scenery of the country he had once called home, clutching a letter for him containing everything you had ever felt for him and wanted him to know before he left.

he looked at you with tears in his eyes, like you were the most beautiful thing he had ever laid eyes on, saying goodbye for the last time.

the years you were apart as you finished university while he was overseas felt like a time of awakening, so much had changed in what felt like moments, both without what mattered most.

and he knew while he was gone there were many more people who could’ve found you like he did, and that there was nothing he could do to stop it.

the trust he had in you was all he needed to keep going, that when you came to meet him you would still love him the way you always did.

when you finally, came, and all was said and done, he felt like he never wanted to let go of you as he had you in his arms again, he had almost forgotten what it felt like to have the love of his life so close to him.

sometimes he still wonders why chose him, but it’s enough for him to remember that you did, and that you’ll never let go of him.

the song in the reception hall changes, and tooru snaps out of the flashback that had taken over him for who knows how long.

you walk over to him and you look even more beautiful than he remembered, saying, “tooru! come over here and dance with me!”

he smiles and takes your hand, fingers delicately brushing the diamond on your finger he had carefully picked out all that time ago, that you had both cried tears of joy over when he stood on the top of the mountain to make things forever, thinking he was the happiest man alive.

you were always with him, from when he was an insecure teenager to the words san juan reading on his back.

he can’t even fathom how much it means to him as he holds you close to him, one hand on your shoulders and the other on your middle, round and full with his baby, how he’ll never get tired of love like this.

he kisses your forehead and says, “anytime you want baby”.

kuroo, TETSURO

despite his sarcastic and confident manner as he had grown up, kuroo was shy as a small child

he had a hard time making friends in elementary school at first, but that didn’t stop him from meeting people he would care about for the rest of his life, that he would cherish forever

on his first day of kindergarten, he only knew kenma who was also shy and mostly kept to himself during the day

but there was one other person who was there for him, the little girl who stood next to him when no one would, who asked him what his name was and held his hand on the playground

and so you and kuroo tetsuro became best friends, along with kenma, holding a bond that wouldn’t be separated even when you graduated

it felt like time had gone by in a blur, like the memories slipped through his fingers like water, and now you were all fully grown adults with jobs, with lives, with purposes

and now, it was the tokyo 2021 olympics and kuroo tetsuro was getting ready to watch the competitions with his associates and friends, ready to watch his old friends and acquaintances on japan’s national team

he felt like he could get lost in an ocean of people, but he spots you in the crowd immediately, he could spot your face anytime, anywhere

and so he meets you as you take your places, ready to watch the game begin

as he sees his old friends on the court together, he can’t help but to start remembering his high school days, when you were still young

it doesn’t help either that kuroo becomes painfully aware again of the way that he had been pining for you for all those years, even being one of the smartest people in his grade he still felt like the biggest idiot for just standing back and watching you grow, away from him

sometimes he wishes he could have turned back time, just to go back and tell you how he really felt earlier

but he let the years pass by, watching you drift slowly apart as he harbored his own feeling in order to avoid being rejected

now that you’re both graduated adults with careers and life paths, kuroo’s feelings are still very much present and if anything, he wants to try just one more time to prove he still cares

so he sits next to you, looking over at your gentle face as he takes in your features once again, watching your lips move slightly as you breathe in and out, and he remembers there was once nothing he would do in the world to give up being with you, wishing he had said something sooner

kuroo glances up as he starts to think back on all the times he could have told you how he really felt, all the times he screwed up worse than he could even imagine.

it was your first boyfriend having graduated high school, some douchebag kuroo couldn’t even be bothered to learn the name of.

but what he felt could never be forgotten, as he watched you walk away with another man’s arm around your lower back, pulling you close in a way that he had always dreamed of doing to you but couldn’t.

he was bitter, cold, in a way that he shouldn’t ever have been.

it’s your own dumbass fault, he thought, but that didn’t make him any less hurt or angry at what he had let happen. were you even happy? did someone else other than him make you happy?

he let himself grow apart from you ever so slightly, you saw him just as often and still cared for him just as much, but you could tell there was something he was keeping from you that even he couldn’t admit to himself.

kuroo thought it was over when you said yes to someone else, but here he was holding you in his arms as you cried with a bruised face and shattered heart.

all he could think about was how this would never happened if you picked him, but he was so pathetic he couldn’t even make it happen past his imagination, but no matter how angry or upset he was you still came first.

and he kept that promise as you got older, all he would do was care for you silently as he witnessed your life through the glass that separated you, that he could break but wasn’t strong enough to, no matter how much it hurt.

“are you coming tetsu- chan?”

it was the summer before first grade, he was hiding under the overhang of a bus stop with his hood over his small face, quivering on the ground in a crouched position.

kuroo’s seven year old self looked up at your small face, a hand outstretched as you held your way too big umbrella over your head, waiting for him to say something in return.

he had always hated thunderstorms, he hated the way it felt like the sound and violence swallowed him up, the same way it felt when his parents yelled at each other as he stood in the doorway of his bedroom watching from a distance.

he looked around at the dark gray skies engulfing him, the small threads of lightning painting the skies like blood vessels, wishing it would all go away.

but you still stood there as the rain poured down in your rain coat and small red boots as you waited for him to come out.

he reluctantly started to crawl out slowly, as you inched closer to where he was previously hunched, waiting for him to reach you.

as you stood just past the overhang, he stuck his hand out timidly and you wrapped your fingers around it, giving his hand a small squeeze before you started to walk towards your house together.

he shivered the whole way there, and every time you heard thunder crack in the distance he held your hand a little bit tighter.

when you got home your mother freaked out and called his family so they weren’t worried about him, and then got out warm towels and told the both of you to go take a bath so you wouldn’t catch a cold.

after you were both warm and dry and wrapped up in soft pajamas, which he had borrowed, kuroo felt oddly at home, like he never wanted to leave the safe place he had with you.

even as you had set up a futon for him on the floor, after about 30 minutes of being terrified of the sounds rattling your house he asked to get closer, and you shifted as he crawled into bed with you.

when you woke up in the morning he was fast asleep with your favorite stuffed animal clutched in his arms, a soft expression on his face, and you couldn’t help but think how peaceful he looked.

the truth is, as you made friends with the small boy in your kindergarten class you had already told stories with your dolls and toys saying you were going to marry him one day.

at 13 you had wondered why he never talked about liking any other girls, you had worried he wasn’t interested in anyone at all.

and at 19 you had tried to move on but it was just too hard.

every time you had fallen you were always there for each other, through all the scraped knees, thunderstorms, and broken hearts.

you only wished you could tell each other what your relationship really meant, what you wanted it to be.

and as kuroo sits in the stands of his friends’ volleyball game, he wonders the same thing that you do.

“y/n- chan, will you be my girlfriend?”

sawamura, DAICHI

being in the same class as daichi in your first year of high school had been interesting, he was rather ordinary looking but you couldn’t help but notice how hard working and kind he was, his energy drew others close to him and you could see why he was admired by many

you didn’t pay much attention to it as you were a bit shy about talking to new people and you didn’t want him to think you were trying to hard, so you kept your distance until you were paired together for a project

you were quiet at first as you sat next to him at your desk since he was a bit intimidating, but as soon as he started talking you felt yourself ease up around him, something about the way he spoke was comforting and it felt like you were at home with him even as you sat inside school

you had started to come up with a plan for your project, and you basfully said, “i’m not that good at english, so i hope it won’t be hard for you to deal with me or anything”, not thinking too much about it

“don’t say that, i’m sure you’re great and you should have more confidence in yourself, it will be better for you”, you hear him say firmly but gently from next to you at the desk

your cheeks flush with warmth and you look down, not sure what to say to him next, but he starts talking about your project plans so you turned around to pay attention to what he was saying

things went well with your assignment and you both received a good grade from your teacher, the school day was about to end as it was your last class and you were about to walk through the door when you felt a hand grasp yours and you turned around to face him

“u-uhm, i really had a nice time getting to know you while we were working together and i was wondering if you maybe wanted to be friends”

it was the first time you had ever seen him look flustered or anything of the sort, but you were happy to oblige since you had had just a nice time getting to know him as well

you smiled softly and walked away, feeling excited at the possibility of getting closer to sawamura daichi as he had intrigued you so much in the couple of weeks that you had known him

and so years later after that time you had first met, you were still around each other, he was one of the best things that had ever happened to you

it was a reunion between his old high school volleyball team, you had known how close they were as you were with him during his final year when karasuno had gone to nationals, and how much his old teammates meant to him and the relationship they had

and so you both made your way over to the tanaka residence with a dish you had cooked in your hands, both excited to see your old friends again and witness the ways they had all grown up and changed

as soon as you walked in the door, all the memories you had made in high school came flooding back at the sight of your friends’ faces, although it was strange seeing how much older they looked.

daichi wonders if he looks that old to them too, sometimes he forgets how much time has passed since they graduated.

it felt like it had been only a moment since he had stood in karasuno high school’s gym barking at hinata and kageyama to get themselves together, with sugawara and tanaka laughing in the background and asahi watching with a fearful expression.

and now they were all grown adults, with lives and jobs and homes, some with lovers and some with dreams that came to life.

he couldn’t be more proud of who they all became, the boys he once knew to be scrawny and mischievous would now be standing on the world’s stage and others who had followed their passions found love in what they did.

still, sometimes daichi still can’t help but wonder if you wanted more, when he saw his old teammates and acquaintances from other schools play on national teams and be watched by thousands around the world.

he wonders if you’re still satisfied with just him.

daichi knows he’s not the most flashy guy out there, but you chose him out of everyone else, right?

he remembers all of those times in high school and when you had graduated that people wondered why why you were with him, couldn’t you have found someone a little more interesting, someone special?

daichi isn’t the type to let his emotions get the better of him, but it stung.

it stung bad.

and yet, he knew he couldn’t lose himself just because of some insecurities, things that didn’t really mean anything, but still wormed their way into his head like maggots growing in a corpse.

sometimes he thinks about the boyfriends you had before him, how he wasn’t anything like them, he was unsure if it was a good thing or a bad thing that he was the odd one out.

all his life he had felt painfully....average.

he wondered why people would forget his name just after talking to him, or why they would mistake him for other people, was he really that forgettable.

it felt sometimes like he was just another face in the crowd, sometimes he wondered if that was the way you saw him at first too.

what daichi didn’t know is how you had always seen him, someone reliable, special, valuable like no one else had been to you.

that he had always stuck out to you, he didn’t seem like anyone else in the sense that he always stepped up and did what needed to be done, you hadn’t seen a heart like his in anyone else your entire life.

he didn’t realize how in every class you had together, he was the one that you stared at, that you saw as beacon of hope out of everything you had faced in your life up until then.

daichi’s friends and family had always looked up to him, he didn’t always realize it but they saw him as a hero to everyone he helped, whether he did it intentionally or not.

through you, daichi was able to see himself the way that everyone else saw him.

when you said yes when he had asked you to marry him, it was cliche but he could’ve sworn he really was the luckiest man alive.

but the truth was he wasn’t lucky, he was more worthy than anyone else could be, the person who stayed by your side when no one else would and who made it seem like you were capable of anything.

you were living proof of just how special daichi sawamura was.

and on your wedding day, tears streamed down both of your faces as you got ready to read your vows to each other, because neither of you could fathom how much you meant to each other.

he couldn’t help but think how beautiful you looked standing in front of him , how he never wanted to let you go because you were worth more to him than anything else in his life.

in your vow, you told him just how much he meant to you, and how you were so incredibly lucky to have him, and he couldn’t help but let the tears slide down his cheeks because he loved you so damn much.

and as you sat on your living room couch with a pregnancy test in your hands he cried again because you made him happier than he could ever have wished to be.

it hurt him more than anything to see you in so much pain as you delivered your baby, but the amount of joy you’d bring into the world was more than worth it.

as you held your baby girl in your arms for the first time, he realized all he had ever needed in his life was right here, he wouldn’t have to search ever again.

it felt like she was growing bigger and bigger every day just in front of his eyes.

he knew one day she’d leave and grow up and have to let go, but for now she was still his and yours together.

and knew he was more special than anyone else in the world.

“honey, let’s go watch everyone in the living room, okay?”

you smiled, because the world had given you more than you could ever ask for, surrounded with beautiful people every day and given experiences you wouldn’t trade for the world.

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fanficimagery · 3 years

Text

Misery Business pt. I

Imagine moving in with the Molina's after an incident back home. Instead of being angry, you realize this is your second chance to be truly happy and you really hope it goes better than your first attempt.

Words: 6.1K Author's Note: I'm a sucker for three idiot ghost boys which is why I'm back, only in this imagine everyone is alive. Yes that includes Rose Molina as well :) Soulmate!AU too so have fun with that. FYI, Y/N will be "musically talented" but since I can't write music to save my life then "Y/N's music" will come from a little band that goes by the name of Paramore and by James Arthur.

Julie and three of her best guy friends are in the family studio outside, writing and jamming and just having the time of their life. Alex, Reggie, and Luke are about two years older than Julie, but the boys overlooked the teeny tiny age gap because her killer voice was exactly what their band was missing. The entire high school knew exactly who the boys of Sunset Curve were so they were all surprised when they took sophomore Julie Molina under their wing and rebranded their band.

Julie's family was very supportive of her music, especially her mother Rose, and she let Julie and the boys use her studio whenever they wanted so long as they all kept up their grades. They're usually left alone when Julie and Luke are in writing mode, so it's a bit of a surprise to see Ray and Rose entering the studio.

Alex is the first to notice them, nudging Reggie and gesturing to Mr. and Mrs. Molina, and then Reggie tosses a pillow at Luke's head to get his attention. Luke's rather rude remark is on the tip of his tongue, but his eyes widen upon seeing Julie's parents.

"Jules. Julie!" He hisses. "Your mom and dad are here."

"Hmm. What?" Julie finally looks away from her journal, her eyes widening before a beaming smile breaks out. "Mami! Papi. What brings you two here?"

"Hey mija," Ray says. "Can we talk real quick?"

"Of course!"

She glances at the boys and they're quick to start packing up, but Ray gestures for them to stay put. "It's okay, boys. You can stay for this."

Rose smiles. "After all, you are family too."

Every time Rose or Ray mention that the boys are family, they can't help but smile goofily. None of the boys have the type of relationship with their parents that Julie has with hers, so they're all grateful the Molina's accept them as if they were a Molina as well. Julie smiles as the boys, who are all practically older brothers to her, gather around her and Luke to hear what's going on.

On his way further into the studio, Ray grabs a chair for Rose and she takes a seat while Ray stands behind her, gripping the back of her chair. "Okay," he exhales a little roughly, "so you know the drama your cousin went through a few months ago?"

Julie frowns. "Yeah."

"Well it seems Y/N isn't doing so well," Rose says. "Your tía thinks a change of location is what's best for her."

"Y/N wants to move here?"

"Well not exactly," Ray says. "Y/N doesn't know. If we agree to take her in, then Y/N will be told of her relocation."

Julie nods, looking thoughtful. "Okay."

"Okay?" Ray muses. "What does okay mean?"

"Well I'm assuming you're only telling me because you never make a big decision without seeing what me and Carlos think," Julie says and then smiles brightly. "I love Y/N. Carlos loves Y/N, so I know he already voted yes."

Rose chuckles. "He did. I believe his words were I will throw down for Y/N any day of the week. Bring her home."

Julie snorts. "Of course he did." Then after glancing between her mom and dad, she nods with a gentler smile. "Whatever she needs. I'll even decorate the guest bedroom for her."

"That's nice, mija." Ray then looks over the boys, eyes settling on Reggie. "No flirting."

"I- what?"

"No flirting!"

Luke and Alex snort as Reggie gasps in mock outrage, but everyone knows Reggie is the one to flirt first and ask questions later. Ray and Rose laugh as they ready to leave the studio, Rose walking over to kiss her daughter on the temple before disappearing after her husband.

As soon as the teenagers are left alone, the boys whirl on Julie.

"So who's Y/N?" Alex asks, smiling innocently.

"And what was the drama a few months ago?" Luke wonders.

Julie glances between all three boys before sighing. "I'm only telling you this because it's highly likely she'll be coming soon." She has their full attention. "Y/N is my older cousin. Last year she met her soulmate."

"Aww," Alex coos.

"Or so we thought."

His smile immediately falls. "Oh."

Julie cringes. "Yeah. Apparently some new transfer student at her school liked my cousin so much that he decided he wanted to be her one and only. Really creepy dude," she says. "So somehow he figured out what her words were and made sure those were the first words he spoke to her." Their eyes widen. "When she spoke to him in return, he memorized the words and had them tattooed on. Then he refused to let her see the words, under the guise that they were in a private spot she couldn't see until they got to know each other better, until they healed."

"What the hell," Luke breathes. "That such a-"

"Dick move," Reggie mutters.

Alex nods in agreement. "Yeah. What they said."

Julie smiles sadly at her friends. "She was with him for a year before he met his real soulmate and then he tried to juggle them both. Y/N was really torn up about it."

"Who wouldn't be?" Alex says. "That is so messed up."

"It is. But if there's one thing I know about my cousin it's that she doesn't want people to tiptoe around her." Julie grins then. "So be yourselves like you are with me, just don't flirt with her."

Alex stares down his two guy best friends until they huff and nod in agreement. "I think they can handle that."

Stepping out of the Uber in front of your tío's house, you're grateful you stopped being annoyed with your mom for making you move long enough to accept the money she transferred into your bank account. The ride from the airport to the Molina household wasn't exactly a cheap one and you regretted not letting your family pick you up when you saw what you owed.

But now you're here, one duffel bag hanging from your shoulder and a medium-sized suitcase sitting by your feet. You only have a moment to take it all in before the front door is opening, and your tío and tía are exiting the house to greet you.

"You're here!" Rose smiles and is quick to pull you into a hug. "How was your flight?"

"Decent. Just a little turbulence. I might have barfed. Twice."

Rose and Ray laugh, and then Ray's tugging you into a hug of his own. "We're so glad to have you, mija. Julie and her friends have just about finished with your room. They're really excited to have you here."

"And I'm excited to be here." Pulling out of the hug, you're met with two identical expressions that practically say Are you really?. "Well now I am." All three of you chuckle. "I was a little upset at the short notice, but I'm totally over it. I am a little tired though, so yeah."

"Oh. Of course. Just head on up, mija. You know where the guest bedroom is," Rose says. "Ray and I need to go get some groceries for tonight. Does arroz con pollo sound good?"

You groan quietly. "It sounds fantastic. My mom could never quite make it like you do."

Ray laughs. "Well my sister is not the cook she claims to be. Now go on. Rest up and we'll see you for dinner."

As Ray and Rose take their leave, you grab your suitcase and drag it inside behind you. You can hear laughter coming from upstairs so that's where you head towards, and you're not surprised to see Julie, Flynn, and who appears to be Julie's bandmate Alex tacking up some fairy lights and draping them across your headboard. The bedroom, which was usually bare except for the bed and dresser, has many of your personal things scattered about that had been shipped a little over a week ago now. However the sheer black curtains, the maroon comforter bed set, and the lights they're hanging up are all new.

"A-hem." You clear your throat, smiling when all three teens freeze and turn towards you. "Are you guys seriously having fun without me?" The blonde boy grins as the two girls squeal, you dropping your duffel bag next to your suitcase just as Julie and Flynn launch themselves at you. Your arms are spread wide as they wrap themselves around you and you bring your own arms down around their shoulders to squeeze them in return. "Did you girls miss me?"

"Uh duh!" Flynn is the first to retort.

Julie pulls back just enough to look you in the face. "We're going to have so much fun."

"So much." You can't help but chuckle, your attention then sliding to the quiet blonde. "Alex, right?"

He smiles. "Yeah. Hi. It's nice to meet you."

"You too, man. I keep up with the band on Youtube and can I just say that you absolutely kill it on the drums? I mean holy shit. You're awesome!"

Alex blushes as Julie points at him. "See! Own your awesomeness. My cousin thinks you're cool, therefore you are cool."

Both girls finally release you, Flynn stumbling back to sit on the edge of what is now your bed. Julie stays right where she's at, arm wrapped around your waist as you both stare at her bandmate. You nod and smile at him. "You really are. We definitely need to jam some time."

Alex seems to perk up then. "Y-You're into music too?"

Flynn snorts. "The Molina's are all freakishly talented. I'm almost jealous."

You roll your eyes fondly at Flynn. "Shush. You're talented in other areas." Then looking at Alex, you grin. "I sing and write. Not as amazing as Julie, of course, but I can hold my own. I like to perform-"

"Just not in front of an audience," Julie muses.

"-and just let go. The rush of it all feels good." You turn to pout at your cousin. "And yeah, not in front of an audience of strangers." You stare at Alex once more. "Friends and family is fine, just not like a legit stage. I'll projectile vomit like that one girl in Pitch Perfect." All three teens snort, that movie having been popular with all of them.

Alex then grins. "We'll definitely have to jam then once you're settled in."

A brief moment of silence descends upon the room, but Flynn is not having it. She claps her hands once, garnering everyone's attention. "So before we get comfortable, lets address the elephant in the room." You groan as she smiles broadly. "How are you holding up?"

"I'm fine, guys."

"Really? Your sudden move states otherwise."

"Flynn!" Julie scolds. Alex seems to freeze, his gaze darting between you and Flynn.

Flynn grimaces as she seems to think she's crossed a line, but you merely roll your eyes. "What exactly did my mom tell your dad?" You turn to ask Julie.

"Um," she gulps and fidgets in place. "I was just told that you weren't doing so good after everything that happened."

You snort. "Seriously?" Julie nods and you chuckle, shaking your head. "Guys, I'm fine. Honestly! I got over the heartbreak like a week after it happened and then I was just pissed off. But my friends helped me realize some things and I'm good now."

"But then why did your mom say you weren't?" Julie wonders.

"I love my mom, but she's a moron," you say. You drag Julie over to your bed, kicking off your shoes along the way and crawl to sit against the headboard. Julie does the same and you gesture for Alex to join Flynn at the foot of your bed. He does, smiling to be included. Once everyone's settled, you say, "So Jerry, who was the guy pretending to be my soulmate," you explain for Flynn and Alex, "has been trying to get in contact with me ever since I blocked him on everything I could. A couple weeks ago while I was out partying with some friends, Jerry and his soulmate were at the same party I was at. I didn't notice them, but they noticed me and they somehow managed to come up with the idea that I was stalking them."

"What a bitch," Flynn immediately blurts. Alex nods along with her.

"Anyway, Jerry's soulmate confronted me and I was completely blindsided by how angry she was with me. I mean, Jerry's the one who tricked me! Not the other way around." You shake your head in annoyance. "She made some hella stupid accusations and she threw a punch."

Julie gasps. "She didn't!?"

"She did. Now I'm not stupid, so I let her hit me a couple of times before I took my first swing. Fortunately for me, she clawed me," you pull your shirt down to show them three marks just above your cleavage, "and she was arrested when the cops got there. After giving my statement and getting statements from the witnesses, they determined I acted in self defense and let me go home. Mom took the little altercation as me spiraling and acting out, so she shipped me off."

"Jesus," Julie sighs. "That's messed up."

"It really is. But oh well. What happened, happened, and now I get to live with my favorite people."

All four of you laugh before Alex gestures towards your chest, sobering up some. "I have some cream that you can use so it'll fade the scars. My soulmate likes to skateboard and he gets pretty banged up every now and then so I keep a stash of that stuff for him."

You smile fondly at him. "Yes, please. The first time my real soulmate sees the girls," you shimmy your chest just the slightest, "I don't want him to see my battle wounds."

Julie swats you with the back of your hand and you laugh at her exasperated expression as the other two break down into giggles.

Lounging around in your room, you ask Julie about her other two bandmates but Alex tells you they had family obligations they couldn't get out of. Carlos gets dropped off by his friend's mom and he joyously jumps onto the middle of the bed when he realizes you're finally there. So that's how Ray and Rose find the five of you, laughing and joking in your new room before dinner is ready and making plans to hang out the following day when everyone could meet up.

After explaining to your tío and tía the real reasoning your mother had you sent away, it was like a weight was lifted off their shoulders and they were more at ease in your presence. You laughed at their sheepishness, at how they thought they had a rightfully heartbroken teenager on their hands with no clue how to ease said heartache. But when all was said and done, everyone seemed to be themselves around you.

Alex had shown up that afternoon, soulmate in tow, and immediately you asked to play with Willie's hair. Both boys had laughed, Willie agreed and readily sat on the floor between your knees as Julie and Alex Facetimed Flynn about any upcoming open mic nights they could book. Willie had a box of random hair supplies in his lap and you saw how he kept running his fingers over a feather and some small silver hoops. Without even asking him, you grabbed a couple of silver hoops, a feather, and set them aside. You had him tilt his head and he did so without questions, closing his eyes as you started to part and section the hair on the right side of his head. Alex smiled every time he looked over at the two of you and you happily gave Willie three thin braids about five inches long before letting the rest of his hair hang loose. The two outer braids had the silver hoops clipped in and the braid in the middle held the feather you had braided in with a thin leather cord. When you were finished and then combed out Willie's hair one last time, you told him you were done and had to bite back a laugh at the way Alex gulped. Willie eagerly went to check himself out in the mirror, beaming at his reflection before turning around and pulling you into a hug.

While your tío Ray and tía Rose worked, and Carlos spent time at his friend's house, you and Julie ordered in some pizza for yourselves, Alex, and Willie. They had no plans at all for the day so the four of you went out to Rose's studio garage when Flynn finally showed up.

Flynn has the bright idea to do karaoke, pulling out the equipment and setting up a laptop Julie had in the studio for this occasion.

Flynn killed it on Nicki Minaj's Starships, you and Julie sang Mamma Mia and were joined by a very enthusiastic Alex. Willie absolutely refused to sing, but that was okay because he knew the choreography for Backstreet Boys Everybody and you eagerly pulled him up to dance with yourself and Julie. Tío Ray and Tía Rose showed up with Carlos in tow, and you and Julie laughed joyously as her parents sang through Journey's Don't Stop Believin'.

Everyone was laughing and having a good time, but as the sun was going down the parental figures went inside to talk through dinner ideas and clean up a little.

You ask Julie if she has any originals you have yet to hear, but as she goes to go grab a journal Alex speaks up. "What about you? You said you wrote, right? I need to hear an original."

"I, uh, sure." You shrug. You turn towards Julie, eyeing the laptop. "Are my instrumentals still on there?"

She grins. "Yeah. Can I choose?"

"Go for it." You get up to go see which song of yours she's going to choose, smiling softly when you see her choice. Alex is practically bouncing in his seat, Willie is shaking his head at him in fond amusement, and Flynn looks torn between recording with her phone. When you nod at her, she beams and gets ready to hit record on her phone.

"So before Julie hits play, I just want you guys to know I wrote this song while I was Jerry. He absolutely loathed it when he first heard it because he thought I was singing about someone else." You huff a laugh. "The song was honestly about a couple on a TV show I got fixated on, but he didn't believe me. So anyway, I might be a little rusty, but Julie loves it so here goes nothing.

Julie hits play. The violin starts and you smirk when you see Alex's eyebrows raise. Then the drums, guitar, and bass kick in and his eyes widen just as his jaw drops when your attitude completely changes.

"I'm in the business of misery, let's take it from the top. She's got a body like an hourglass, it's ticking like a clock. It's a matter of time before we all run out. When I thought he was mine, she caught him by the mouth."

You keep singing, singing to Julie, but then it goes silent before the chorus kicks in and you find yourself back to back with your cousin as she joins you. "Woah, it was never my intention to brag. To steal it all away from you now. But God, does it feel so good 'cause I got him where I want him now. And if you could, then you know you would 'cause God, it just feels so.. It just feels so good."

Willie whoops and you laugh your way through the next few lines, rocking your shoulders and even throwing in a couple of head bangs for good measure.

But then the music quiets just so and you face the boys. "I watched his wildest dreams come true and not one of them involving you. Just watch my wildest dreams come true. Not one of them involving.." You head bang now, twisting your head back and forth so your hair wildly flips back and forth. Julie plays the air guitar and you're laughing, having made yourself dizzy in the process. But then as one particular part comes up, you sidle up to Julie's side, your face just inches from the side of her own face as she stares forward. "Woah I never meant to brag, but I got him where I want him now."

Your chest aches from putting your all into your own song, sweat beading at your hairline as you jump around dancing. You're exhausted by the end of the song, but it's well worth it to see Alex's gobsmacked expression.

The studio falls silent, but it's Willie and Flynn who jump to their feet. Their utter amazement and joyfulness makes you a little sheepish, but then Alex is standing to his feet. "Holy shit."

"Right?" Julie cackles. "I've been begging her to play live with us for one song, but she won't."

"Are you frickin' kidding me?!" The new voice has your head snapping in it's direction, the boy in a leather jacket and red flannel wrapped around his waist staring at you in wonder. "What is it with you Molina's and your musical talents?"

Your face flames at his praise, eyes then darting to the boy with shaggy hair and a sleeveless shirt gaping at you. You chuckle nervously and Julie wraps an arm around your shoulders, grinning as she introduces you. "And here we have Reggie and Luke. Guys, this is my cousin Y/N."

"Dude, will you marry me?" Luke's words make everyone laugh out loud, but you freeze.

Julie, having felt you tense up, stares at you. "Y/N? Are you-"

But you cut her off, eyes solely on Luke as you say, "Bro, don't call me dude." Your mocking tone makes Flynn snort.

Not only is it Luke's turn to freeze, but so do Alex and Reggie. Their eyes widen as they stare between you and Luke, your heart beating triple when you realize just who this is.

"Oh my god," Alex mutters.

"Oh my god!" Reggie exclaims, smile instantly beaming.

"OH MY GOD!" Julie shouts, arm tightening around your shoulder. "Did he just- did you just say.." You nod, your breathing becoming a little erratic. Julie notices and turns you so she grips you by the shoulders and you're staring directly into her face. "Hey, it's okay. You're fine. Luke's one of the good ones."

You gulp. "I- it's not that," you murmur. "But he said.. and I need to see-"

Before you can finish, the presence of said boy is right next to you and Julie. You startle at his appearance, but then he's holding out his arm between you and your cousin and you glance down to see the words that have been stamped into his skin since the day of his birth. There on the space just below the crease of his elbow are the words bro, don't call me dude.

You laugh, a little wetly, but no one dares to call you out on it. Instead, you turn and lift your shirt so he can see his own words stamped on your ribs. A faint touch has you flinching away and giggling, and Julie snorts as you pout at Luke who seems to realize you're ticklish.

"OH MY GOD! YOU GUYS ARE SOULMATES!" Flynn shouts. "THIS IS SO COOL!"

And just like that the tension is broken, everyone laughing and cheering. You're having trouble holding Luke's gaze, his crinkled eyes and swoon-worthy smile making you want to reach out and hug him. So when you see his fingers twitch and tap out a beat against his leg before he clenches his fists closed, you cave and pull him into a hug. He hesitates a moment before he sighs, wrapping his arms tightly around you in return.

"Hey. ¿Qué está pasando? (What's going on?) Rose wonders. Apparently the cheering had caught tía Rose and tío Ray's attention.

You and Luke break apart, but your arms remain touching as you both stare at Julie's parents like you'd been caught doing something wrong. And since the two of you can't seem to form words, Julie giggles before filling them in. "Luke and Y/N are soulmates. They said each other's words."

Ray and Rose immediately look at you in shock, and you can feel your face heating up. Slowly, you smile at your tía's concerned expression and immediately she's beaming as she makes a beeline for you. "Mija! That's wonderful news." You laugh as she hugs you and then laugh even harder when you see your tío Ray clamp a hand down on Luke's shoulder. Then releasing you and turning towards Luke, tía Rose smiles as she opens her arms wide before moving in to hug him. "I'm happy for you too, mijo. Welcome to the family." Then pulling back, she says, "Not that you weren't already part of the family, but you know."

Luke chuckles, ears turning red. "Thanks, Mrs. Molina."

"Well this is a cause for celebration," Ray says. "Anyone feeling up to pasta?" Julie, Flynn, and Reggie all whoop in unison. "You going to join us, Willie?"

Willie, never usually around for long periods of time with Julie's family, is surprised to be invited. Alex beams at his soulmate and Willie knows he can't say no. "Sure, Mr. Molina. Thanks for the invite."

"Great," Rose smiles. "Well now that that's settled, I'm going to go make a reservation so we don't give the hostess a stroke when we all walk in. Everyone has two hours before we leave."

Tía Rose and tío Ray congratulate you and Luke one last time before they take their leave. Everyone follows after them, excitingly talking outfit choices, but Reggie remains by the opened doors smiling between you and Luke. A second later, Alex returns and marches a reluctant Reggie away.

Now that it's just you and Luke, the two of you laugh nervously.

"So.."

"So.." You both laugh nervously again and then you're groaning. "This is so weird, but like I'm also really excited."

Luke loses some of his nerves and his shoulders slump. "Really? You're excited?"

"Yeah. Why wouldn't I be?"

He turns sheepish then, averting his gaze as he shoves his hands into the front of his jean's pockets. "Julie might have explained the shitty thing your ex did and yeah. I would understand if you weren't stoked to meet me on your second day here."

He's so genuine in his explanation that you can't help but mentally swoon at this boy before you. You're not sure where the sudden confidence comes from, but you're grateful for it when you step closer and take his face in the palm of your hands so he's staring right at you. "Okay one, my mother didn't properly explain why she moved me here. I'll fill you in later, but I'm telling you right now it's not because I'm heartbroken or anything. And two, I am stoked to meet you. You wanna know why?" Luke can only nod as he pays close attention and you grin at him. "Because the moment realization sunk in, everything just felt.. it felt-"

"Right?" He asks, voice low.

You nod. "It felt right. There was no uncomfortable feeling in the pit of my stomach, there was just elation. Like I found something I didn't know I was looking for until you uttered the words etched on my ribs."

Luke slowly smiles and you let your hands fall to your sides, leaning in and quickly kissing his cheek. "Now come on. We need to get ready for tonight."

His cheeks turn red almost immediately, but you don't say anything as you grab his arm and drag his hand from his pocket. Then clasping his hand within your own, you drag him out of the studio and up towards the house.

Dinner was quite the affair, everyone pushing you and Luke next to one another at the table and cooing over how adorable you two were. Even his parents, Emily and Mitch, had been invited along and everyone smiled throughout the entire dinner. The table was quite loud, but not a single customer nearby or the waitresses could blame you when Reggie loudly explained that they were celebrating newly found soulmates. There was even applause that had you and Luke turning red in the face and then trying to aim a kick at Reggie's shin under the table. Unfortunately, Alex took the brunt of both kicks.

When the weekend was over, Luke and the boys stood by your side on your first day of school. The band had quite the following and those fangirls of theirs were not impressed to see you and Luke hand-in-hand. It was a bit daunting navigating the hallways with a majority of the school's population looking down their nose at you, but then Julie, Flynn, and surprisingly Carrie Wilson (your cousin's arch-nemesis) came to your aide. You understood Julie and Flynn's protectiveness, but Carrie's was a shock and she merely flipped her hair over her shoulder while giving the excuse that no one should be shit on just because they found their soulmate. The girls were stunned, but shrugged it off and let Carrie do what Carrie wanted to do.

Tía Rose and tío Ray saw a lot more of Luke at their home, but didn't put up any fuss. The only thing they asked was that if they were alone in the room, then the bedroom door was to remain open at all times. And not wanting to disappoint them, you and Luke abided by their rules. Because being with Luke.. it was the complete opposite than being with Jerry. There were no nerves, no second guessing, and no jealousy. You were happy to be with Luke and vice versa, and either of you could go out with friends with no twenty questions about who you were going with and where (Jerry seriously did a number on you).

You became Julie and the Phantoms number one fan, alongside Willie and Flynn, and sat up in the loft with Willie while the band rehearsed downstairs. The times you did go downstairs after rehearsals and Luke bounded over to you like an eager puppy, you had to fight the urge to chuck something at Reggie and Julie when they cooed over how cute you were together.

Luckily for you, Luke wasn't into PDA other than hand holding or hugs. But it still didn't stop your friends from mockingly groaning for you to get a room when Luke would hug you from behind and stay there with his chin hooked over your shoulder.

Today is one of the rare days the band left Luke alone so he could spend the time with you, but you're stuck doing Algebra II homework and Luke is going through one of your old writing journals for abandoned lyrics to give him inspiration.

You've been stuck on the same problem for what feels like twenty minutes when you hear Luke sharply inhale. You glance up at him, watching him read through something that's clearly caught his attention. You can't help but grin at his look of concentration and then his expression falls and your heart suddenly aches.

Luke glances up and you gulp. "What's this?"

"What's what?"

He glances back down at the journal in his hands before looking at you once more. "Something titled Train Wreck. It looks like a completed song."

Your expression completely goes lax then. "Oh. That's, uh, I wrote that a while back when my mom and dad were going through their divorce." You close the math book in your lap and hesitantly meet Luke's gaze. "That was not a fun time for all involved. My mind was kind of.. messed up back then."

Luke gulps. "I don't want to seem inconsiderate of what clearly was a dark time for you, but this- this is really good, Y/N. Do you have a melody for it?"

You huff a laugh, shaking your head in fond amusement. Only Luke would be this invested in a song. "I do. I think it's on the laptop in a password protected file.."

His eyes light up. "Can I hear it? You don't have to, I just-"

"It's fine." You get up, heading over to the laptop and powering it up to find what you need. After a bit of searching, you find it and open it up. Letting the melody play, you look up at Luke. "I won't sing the whole thing, but I'll sing a portion of it."

He eagerly nods. "I'll take anything."

You smile at him, nervously taking a seat on a crate in the middle of the room. He finds another crate and places it close to you, wanting to be as close as possible. You close your eyes, smiling, and let the melody wash over you as the lyrics come back to you in a flash. Your heart beat is beating double, but you inhale deeply and let it out slowly.

Losing yourself to the music, you mouth the lyrics to yourself until letting your voice ring out. "Underneath our bad blood, we've still got a sanctum. Home, still a home, still a home here. It's not too late to build it back 'cause a one in a million chance is still a chance, still a chance and I would take those odds."

You open your eyes, chest aching as all those feelings from so long ago come rushing back and make your voice just that much stronger. "Unbreak the broken, unsay these spoken words. Find hope in the hopeless, pull me out of the train wreck." Luke grabs your hand and you squeeze it for all your worth as you keep looking forward. "Unburn the ashes, unchain the reactions now. I'm not ready to die, not yet. Pull me out of the train wreck. Pull me out, pull me out, pull me out."

You meet Luke's gaze then, a little surprised to see his eyes red rimmed and teary through your own blurry vision. "You can say what you like, don't say I wouldn't die for it. I'm down on my knees and I need you to be my God, be my help, be a Savior who can-"

Your voice cracks on the next word and Luke tugs on your hand, pulling you into a hug. A sob escapes your throat as you cling to Luke, but you quickly stifle it against his shoulder. As the melody plays out, you press your forehead to his shoulder before pushing back and sniffling. "I, uh, I'm sorry about that. Everything came rushing back and I-"

"Don't apologize." Luke catches your face in the palm of his hands, thumbs brushing away your tears before his lips press against your forehead. The action is so soft that your expression crumples momentarily, but you quickly mask it when Luke pulls back to catch your gaze. "That was amazing, Y/N! So amazing. And I'm sorry it brought up bad memories, but.. wow."

You huff a laugh, pulling back so you aren't hunched over. Luke, however, refuses to stop touching you and catches your hands within his own. "I should have guessed you'd be easily impressed."

"For you? Always."

You shake your head, grinning. "You're so freakin' cheesy, Luke Patterson."

He chuckles and again you're hit with a sudden boost of confidence that you lean forward, one hand finding the back of his neck so you can bring him to meet you halfway in a kiss. He smiles against your mouth, but the smile quickly falls the second you tilt your head to deepen the kiss. Unfortunately, just as the tip of your tongue flicks against his bottom lip, you're interrupted.

"Can we come in now?" Reggie's voice rings out. "I really wanna give Y/N a hug after hearing that song."

"Reggie!" Julie scolds.

You and Luke pull apart laughing. You both straighten up and look towards the door just in time to see Reggie rubbing at the back of his head as he walks in with Alex and Julie behind him. Hand in hand, you and Luke stand up and chuckle at Reggie's put out expression.

Had you known that having a soulmate felt exactly as you feel right now, you would have known something was definitely up back home with Jerry. And though you will always hate your ex for tricking you the way he did, there's an ounce of gratefulness for the misery he put you through because had he not then you wouldn't have moved and met your true soulmate.

#julie and the phantoms imagine #julie and the phantoms x reader #jatp x reader #luke patterson x reader #luke patterson #julie molina #reggie peters #alex mercer

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young-dumb-and-vaccinated · 3 years

Text

Cult Girl: Doctorate (Hannibal x Female!Reader) pt. 3

Bundy

Cult girl gets some unbelievable news.

Trigger warnings: death, emotional manipulation, discussion of cult leaders Koresh, Jones as well as Ted Bundy

"Who the fuck are you, and what the shit are you doing with my dead cousin's phone?" You said, the slam of the car door audible from the speaker.

"Cheerio to you too, [F/N]." Anna answered.

You brought the phone to your chest to muffle the speaker and heaved a sigh.

"It's fucking Anna." You told Hannibal as he climbed into the car.

He buckled his seatbelt. "Put it on speaker."

You pressed the speaker button. "Froot Loops. Why do you have Theresa's phone?"

"Don't you remember?" She asked. "I took it when she died. Hers had a much better camera than my old one. I thought I told you to update that in your contacts?"

"Oh yeah, I do remember that." You nodded. "The body wasn't even cold and you'd already gotten to grave-robbing."

"Hey, that's my sister you're talking about." Anna snapped. "Show a little respect."

You rolled your eyes so far back into your skull you could practically see your brain cells dying. "Why are you calling, Anna? I'm fairly fucking certain I told both you and grandma to never speak to me again."

"Well, grandma won't be doing much speaking anymore." Anna snapped. "Because she's dead."

You sighed. It wasn’t the first time you heard those words, and it was never true. Faking her death was the hammer in her gaslighter toolkit. Meaning that the desired outcome could be produced just as effectively using a combination of other tools, but none were as efficient as a good old-fashioned bashing. The first time, you went through the whole five stages in ten minutes to really sell that you felt something other than relief at her passing. This time, you didn’t have the energy.

“Did somebody finally strangle her to death?” You asked. “Shame, I would have liked to do it myself.”

“Are you so completely void of human emotion that you can’t even pretend to be sad?” Anna shouted.

“No, because I think this is another one of her manipulations.” You explained. “She probably roped you in thinking I’d believe it if it came out of your mouth. But the joke’s on her, because you’ve been her puppet since preschool.”

“You really are something else, [F/N].” Her voice wobbled, as if on the verge of tears. “The woman who raised us had a stroke and died. That’s not a manipulation, it’s the truth!”

You began to consider the possibility that Anna wasn’t lying. Your voice took on a more solemn tone as you resigned to give her the benefit of the doubt. "A stroke, huh?"

"She died in the hospital." She said, softly.

There was real emotion in her voice. You thought back to that high school production of Legally Blonde, which proved that she was not skilled enough at acting to fake it.

You sighed. The crushing realization that you may very well have been the jerk in this conversation hit you. "So, what now?"

"I know better than to ask you to help out with the funeral." She said. "You didn't come to Theresa's, after all."

The reason you gave for not going to Theresa's funeral was schoolwork. It was a flimsy excuse, but hid your real reasons well enough. Those were much touchier. You couldn't bear the thought of listening to people lie and embellish stories of your cousin's positive influences on people's lives. But you also couldn't bear the fact that at least some of it wouldn't be lies.

You were the one that killed her. Your fiancé chopped up her body and served it to your friends for dinner. Theresa was a sociopath, a narcissist, and plenty other highlights in the DSM-5, but the pain she left after her death was real. It was the most real thing about her. You weren't desensitized enough to face that.

"Good call." You answered, flatly.

"Liam and I will be flying out tomorrow night." She said. "I know I'm in no position to be asking for favors, but if you could come pick us up from the airport-"

"Sure." You answered with a nod. You didn't know what exactly you were agreeing to as you did. Anna's words were just dissipating into the air, hardly reaching your ears.

"Thanks." She said, as emotionlessly as you. That was perhaps the most mutual understanding you'd ever achieved with Anna. And it only lasted a couple of seconds.

That was about as natural a conclusion to the conversation as you could have hoped for, so you hung up.

Hannibal pulled into the driveway and turned off the car. "What are you thinking, love?"

You leaned your head against the window and looked up at the few visible stars. "I've spent so many years wishing her dead and now that it's finally happening, I don't know what to feel."

He wrapped his arm around your shoulders, knowing exactly how to keep you grounded when your mind started to wander off. You rested your head on his shoulder and closed your eyes. He kissed you on the head.

"I thought her dying meant I never had to think about her again." You shrugged. "But now I'm thinking about her and hating every minute of it. And that probably means I loved her. Which is terrifying to think about."

"You think about Jim Jones and David Koresh quite a bit, don't you?" Hannibal asked, squeezing you tight. "Do you love them?"

You shook your head. "That's different. That's academic curiosity."

"But why do we remember them?" Hannibal posited, stroking your arm. "Is it reverence?"

"It's to learn." You answered. "To make sure history doesn't repeat itself."

"Death isn't a sacred thing, my love." He whispered. "Don't feel bad for remembering her as cruel. That's what she was. Don't let anyone forget it."

You chuckled. "Did you know that when Ted Bundy died, a bunch of people near the prison shut their breakers off so the electrocution would be more painful?"

"Interesting." He said, referring less to the fact itself and more to the reason why it came to mind when it did.

"That is to say, I don't actually feel bad that she's dead." You clarified. "I feel bad because I know I should and I don't."

Hannibal pulled you into his arms and placed a kiss on your forehead. "I thought after four blissful years together, you would know you don't have to pretend around me."

You lowered your head. "I guess I'm just scared that if I take off my person suit around you, I'll never be able to put it back on."

"You never need to worry about that, my love." He assured you. “I know it’s scary, but all it takes is a little practice.”

“In that case,” You felt a smile creeping onto your face, so you let it. “I think we should celebrate.”

"Well that can be arranged." Hannibal rolled your hair. "With a bottle of Cava in my office."

You felt a laugh coming on, but it just came out as an ugly wheeze. "That is so unethical. I would love to."

"No," He corrected, opening the driver's side door. "It would be unethical to empty a bottle of wine down that pretty throat of yours without a little food."

"It's the middle of the night, Hanni." You objected, though the rumbling of your stomach told a different story. You slammed the car door shut.

Hannibal smiled to himself, disregarding your protests entirely. "Foie gras au torchon, with a bit of brioche, perhaps?"

"Well that sounds like a proper celebration." You grinned, tightening your grip on your clutch excitedly. “Do you mind if I get cleaned up?”

“Of course not, love, take your time.” Hannibal said, releasing you from his embrace.

You headed towards the house, a little extra spring in your step.

“Oh, [F/N]?” He called out after you.

You looked over your shoulder. “Yeah?”

“That thing you said about Ted Bundy.” He shoved his hands into his pockets. “I’m sorry to tell you, but that’s a myth.”

You frowned, feeling kind of stupid. “Shit. I really wanted it to be true.”

Hannibal smiled, reassuringly. “But hundreds of people still celebrated his death.”

#hannibal lecter #hannibal x reader #hannibal x you #hannibal nbc #cult girl #cult girl 2 #tw death #tw emotional abuse #true crime #i guess?

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typical-simplelove · 3 years

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Peter Pan (M. Tkachuk)

Summary: Based off of Kelsea Ballerini’s song, Peter Pan. What happens when Matthew strings you along in an adventure and can’t grow up?

A/n: This idea came to me and I wrote it in 2 hours. I’m sorry for any hurt I caused you.

Warnings: Mentions of sex, Avengers: Endgame spoilers (yes, I’m a Marvel nerd), angsty (very), unresolved ending

Word Count: 5k (including song lyrics)

I hope you enjoy!!

Taglist: @goalision @coffee-ontherocks @glassdanse @barzal-burakovsky @petey-patty @boqvistsbabe @beauvibaby @heatherawoowoo @rmaye @mellany1997 @heaveniish @tkapuckit @stars-canucks (Do you want to be tagged in my fics? Fill out this form.)

The smile, the charm, the words, the spark Everything, you had it I guess I had a naive heart, cause boy I let you have it You said I was your only I never thought you'd leave me lonely

There was something about him, something that drew you in. You couldn’t quite say what it was. However, it was there. Was it the way the sweet words of love and adoration flowed so easily from his mouth? Was it the charm he so easily expressed and had? Was it the way his hair sat on his head so beautifully? Was it the spark that you felt was there? No, the spark that you insisted was there? Was it ever there? You fell for him. Your naive heart fell for the boy. You couldn’t even call him a man. He was a boy. Playing with your feelings and your heart. He took what you gave him, ate it up, and came back to when he wanted. He said he was only seeing you. Did you believe him? Yeah, you did. You weren’t sure why. You knew the way he was. He acted like the boys in high school. He acted like your young cousins and brothers. Yet, you allowed yourself to fall for him. You fell for a boy who didn’t know how to be a man.

You fell for a boy. You fell for Matthew Tkachuk, a person who was notorious for being a boy who would do nothing but hurt you. Unable to ever be mature in romantic relationships. He wanted the adventure and the love. Matthew wanted all the easy parts and disappeared when things got hard. He always came back when things cleared up or when he needed someone to make his heart rush. You always let him back into your life despite what everyone said. You told them that it didn’t matter. Matthew cared for you. He had feelings for you. He wasn’t using you to have an adventure. He would smarten up and realize what you had to offer on his own time. Right?

Matthew Tkachuk was a boy. It was a mistake to fall for him, yet you did. You fell for him. You took the bread crumbs he gave you and ate them up. You never asked for more because deep down you knew that he wouldn’t give them to you.

Matthew Tkachuk was lost in Neverland. He was a lost boy. He refused to grow up. Why did he need to? He had all this money, glory, and fame at his disposal. There was no need for him to grow. He had a girl who was devout to him and would always be there. That was, until you left. Until you realized you deserved better. Matthew didn’t have you anymore when you realized that Matthew was Peter Pan and never wanted to grow up.

Sometimes good things have to end. Sometimes you have to think for yourself. That’s what you did. Matthew couldn’t give you what you wanted. You wanted someone to love you all the days of the year, not just when he wanted to. Matthew loved you on his terms - a sign of a boy. He was lost. You weren’t. You needed to leave, so you did. You left Matthew Tkachuk because he refused to grow up. You weren’t going to be there the next time he came running to you. Matthew wasn’t good for you. He couldn’t give you what you wanted. He was a boy who couldn’t have an adult relationship. He would keep coming back to you and telling you he changed. He didn’t. He never did. He never grew and never realized what he was doing.

The next time when Matthew came back to you, you were going to turn him away. You didn’t have time in your life for boys. You wanted, no deserved, someone who would care and love you in the way you should be.

You're just a lost boy, with your head up in the clouds You're just a lost boy, never keep your feet on the ground

The first time you met Matthew, you were on cloud nine. No one looked at you the way he did. No one smiled at you the way he did. No one made your heart rush in the way he did.

He bought you a drink as people do in bars. It was different, though. He didn’t want to sleep with you. No, he did but that wasn’t the ultimate goal. There was a glint in his eyes that told you that he didn’t want only a hookup. The way his smile curved when you didn’t walk away from him. That should have been the first sign. He was playing a game. He knew what he was doing. Matthew knows about girls like you. He knows that girls like you want someone to make them happy. Someone to come home to and to make memories with. He wanted a girl like you to be part of his tally. Matthew wanted you as one of his adventures.

And you let him do that to you. You let Matthew sweep you off your feet. You let Matthew use you to be one of his adventures of his bachelor life. He didn’t want something serious. You told yourself he would change his mind. You kept telling yourself that. He would eventually want something serious. Right? He just needed to realize what he wanted on his own. Matthew knew though, you weren’t going to have something serious with him. Matthew knew exactly what he was going and, deep down, you did, too. You knew Matthew was going to string you along and just make you one his stories he reflects on the night before his wedding. You were going to be one of those girls in his life that Matthew would look back on and say ‘thank you for making me realize that I wanted to settle down’. You weren't endgame for him even though you wanted him to be. There was no one on this planet who made your heart rush, made the heat instantly rush to your face, or made your smile just because you thought about him. There was no one quite like him in your life.

Matthew was different, you kept telling people. He was different. Your friends were telling you to be careful. That you did. You made sure you guard your heart because you didn’t want to get heartbroken. Slowly, though, Matthew chipped his way into your heart and it was only a matter of time before you fell. It was a matter of when not if; you’d collapse because Matthew couldn’t give you what you wanted.

At first, you and Matthew didn’t have any labels. You both could go out for drinks casually or maybe a movie night every now and then. Nothing monumental. You were ready, though, to take the next step. You wanted to be more with Matthew. You thought knew that he wanted the same thing, right? You both weren’t technically exclusive but it was also implied that you both weren’t seeing other people. Well, that’s what you thought. You didn’t talk to any other people other than Matthew. Why would you when you had Matthew? Someone who made you incredibly happy and made your insides all warm and fuzzy. You brought it up numerous times, yet he always brushed it off and said let’s not make anything too complicated. So, you didn’t. You left it at that because you wanted Matthew. You needed Matthew. Your life began to orbit around the Flames’ schedule because that’s what Matthew wanted. He was going on an adventure that made his heart rush. He knew exactly what he was doing. Matthew knew exactly what you wanted. He wasn’t going to give it to you, though. He was too lost and immature to realize how much he was hurting you and how much he would hurt you. To him, this was fine. Matthew was going to string you along and let you be.

This pattern continued on for six months. You and Matthew were, again, not exclusive but it was also implied that you weren’t seeing anyone else. So you thought. The first time Matthew hurt you and made you feel terrible and unworthy of any kind of love should have been a red flag. You shouldn’t even have to label it as the first time. It should just be ‘the time when’. No first, second, third, fourth, etc. Why did you let Matthew have this power over you? Easy, he made you feel loved, special, and happy.

Until he didn’t.

You went out for drinks with your friends a Friday night after work. You wanted to see Matthew; no, you were dying to see Matthew. He said he had plans, so you made your own plans. You put on the outfit that made you the most confident and if it happened to be the one you wore when you met Matthew, then so be it. You walk into the rowdy and raucous bar. You looked around and your face paled. You weren’t sure why it shocked you considering you and Matthew weren’t officially exclusive, but it still hurt. Matthew was sitting at a booth with three beautiful girls surrounding him. Girls that you knew he wouldn’t be stringing along if he were seeing them. You weren’t sure why it hurt so much. This was the game Matthew was playing. This was the adventure that he was taking. It didn’t matter if you couldn’t see him playing it, Matthew was stringing you along. This night was one of many where Matthew was playing. He was a boy. He didn’t want to grow up and realize what he had in front of him.

You tried to ignore Matthew that night, but you couldn’t. His laugh was ringing throughout the bar and it was the only thing you could hear. Your friends looked at you with pity in their eyes. Yes, they told you to be careful and this would be the perfect ‘I told you so’ moment but the sadness in your eyes stopped them. Your friends wanted to walk over to Matthew to confront him. They didn’t. You chose to forget and ignore what was happening across the bar.

At 11:24 that night, you decided you had had enough. You wanted to go home; you couldn’t take it anymore. You wanted to be the girl that Matthew was laughing with not watching it happen. You say goodbye to your friends and walk out of the bar. You wish it were that easy. On your way out, a guy who was probably your age ran into you and spilled his drink everywhere. You cried out in shock of the cold drink meeting your chest. The cry out made Matthew’s eyes perk up. He knew that sound. He isn’t sure why he recognized it. Matthew looked up and saw that you were talking to someone else. You were laughing and giggling with this guy. You didn’t tell him to get away. Matthew wanted to know why. Also, what were you doing there? Why didn’t you come up to him? Why didn’t you opt to go see him? One of the girls sitting next to him tapped Matthew’s shoulder and he realized why. You weren’t going to come up to him whilst he was preoccupied with someone else. That was the way you were. You thought about other people’s feelings first and didn’t overstep your boundaries.

Matthew instantly gets up. He has to fix this with you because then how else would he be able to continue his adventure? He needed you to be the one to excite him and make his heart race. Matthew ditched the girls and his friends at the booth and ran after you.

“Hey,” someone said to you as they grabbed your arm. You turn around and see Matthew’s face. “Why didn’t you come and say hi?”

You remember looking at Matthew with disgust. He wanted to know why you didn’t interrupt him talking with other girls? He was with other girls. This was one of those perfect opportunities to tell him how you felt but you couldn’t. You weren’t sure why. No, you could. You knew that if you told Matthew exactly why you didn’t go over to him, he wouldn’t want to keep seeing you. You didn’t want that. You couldn’t sabotage whatever this was. You needed Matthew in your life like you needed air to breath. So, you lied. “Oh, I actually didn’t see you.”

Matthew sighed a breath of relief. That means that you didn’t see those girls. That meant that the game he was stringing you along with was going to actually work. He could continue playing his game and continue the adventure you brought. “Why don’t you come in and hang out with my friends?”

You shake your head and try to blink back tears. You couldn’t. You would never fit in with those types of people. “I’m actually going to head home. Maybe another time?”

“Oh, come on, don’t be that way. Come, for me?” You so wanted to bend and go in with him. In the first time in this six month relationship, barely, you finally had a thought of sense.

“I can’t. I’m sorry.” You walked away. You hoped, no begged, for Matthew to chase after you. To call out to you and insist you stayed. You wanted him to call out to text him that you got home safely. He didn’t. He walked back into the bar like it was no big deal and that he didn’t ruin your evening.

When you got home that night, you hopped in the shower and cried. You weren’t sure why you cried. The fact that Matthew made you cry should be another red flag to you. You were crying over a boy who didn’t care for you the way you did. You were crying over a boy. A boy! Not even a man. Not someone who had complex feelings and thoughts. A boy who only wanted you for the thrill. He was only with you because he knew that you weren’t going to leave. He knew the game he was playing.

You're always gonna fly away, just because you know you can You're never gonna learn there's no such place as Neverland You don't understand You'll never grow up You're never gonna be a man Peter Pan

This kept happening. Matthew kept on stringing you along and you often cried yourself to sleep. You weren’t sure why you couldn’t leave. For the life of you, you couldn’t understand why Matthew had this effect on you. He was like a drug and you were addicted. You couldn’t stop being around him. You could be in the same room but twenty feet apart and you’d have this sense of tranquility. You weren’t sure why you even bothered with him. Six months after that night in the bar, Matthew and you still haven’t gone exclusive. You weren’t seeing or talking to anyone else. You assumed he wasn’t either.

The second time Matthew hurt you should have been the last time. For some reason, Matthew was intoxicating. You just couldn’t leave like he could so easily. Matthew had the ability to just randomly up and leave. He would talk to you for three or four days straight and then stop talking to you for weeks. You should have stopped talking to him altogether. You should have blocked his number and on Instagram. You just couldn’t do it. No matter how much you tried and hyped yourself up to block him, you couldn’t.

The second time. This time hurt more than it should have. He told you to meet him at a restaurant close to where you work. So you did, you brought a change of clothes to work so you’d look nice. You put a beautiful dress that accentuated your curves perfectly. He told you he put a reservation under his name. And he did. Matthew put a reservation for the two of you under his name at seven. You showed up at 7:15 thinking being fashionably late would strike your appeal. It didn’t. He wasn’t there. You told yourself he was running late, too. You sat down at your table and waited. You looked over the menu and people watched. Your phone hit 7:45 and you decided to text him. He didn’t reply. It was 8:00 when you realized he wasn’t going to show up. You were starving and didn’t want to make anything, so you ordered your meal. The waiting staff were nice and you think they put your meal as top priority. They probably realized that you got stood up and wanted to put you out of your misery. You left a generous tip.

You left the restaurant at 8:36 and was going to walk to the bus station. You were walking when you looked up and saw Matthew’s familiar head of hair. You stopped. Your heart broke into a million pieces. He stood you up for someone else. Is that what he’s been doing this time? Going to you for the emotion and love of a relationship and going to her for the excitement and fun and sex of a relationship. Was that all you were to him? A joke?

You watched Matthew and this other girl walk into a restaurant. You had to walk by the restaurant in order to get to the bus station. You prayed that they didn’t have a window seat. The universe didn’t like you that much. They had a window seat. Actually, they had an outdoor patio seat. You walked by them and begged for their attention not to be on you. You didn’t pay attention to them. You ignored them. You remember Matthew calling out to you. You heard him call you ‘someone he knows’ as if you two weren’t a thing. Well, you actually weren’t. Yes, you both slept together and went on dates. But, as you now know, doesn’t mean that you two were exclusive. Yes, you weren’t seeing anyone else but that didn’t mean he wasn’t. You got on the bus and willed the tears to stay away until you got home. It worked. You weren’t sure what you’d do if you cried whilst on the bus.

The minute you walked into your apartment, you collapsed. The tears began streaming down your face. You weren’t sure why you were letting yourself to continue getting hurt by him. He’s stood you up before; however, normally you didn’t catch him with another girl. Normally, he texted you an apology. Was he with her all this time? What were you doing? Matthew was playing a game with you that you didn’t know what the rules were. You were in uncharted territory. You were like Henry Hudson looking for the Northwest Passage. You were like the Avengers after it was revealed that Thanos had destroyed the Infinity Stones. You were lost.

Despite this hurt, you kept on giving him excuses. You kept saying, what if he forgot? What if she was just a friend? You knew, however, deep down, that this wasn’t the case. You knew that Matthew didn’t care for you the way that you did.

You still went back to him. You went back to Matthew, the boy you cared for. The boy you were falling for. You were eating up the small bits of crumbs he gave you. You were waiting for the whole loaf. You were waiting on a boy who didn’t know what he was doing to you. You were falling for a boy. A boy! An immature boy who didn’t want to grow up. A boy who thought he lived in Neverland where he had forever to act like this. A boy who thought that it was okay to treat you like this. You were falling for a boy who would continue to fly away from you and then come back and you’d welcome him back. He flew away because he knew that you’d take him back. All this, and you had never been referred to as his girlfriend. You didn’t refer to him as your boyfriend because that’s not what you guys were. You were nothing but an adventure to him. You were nothing but an adventure that quickened his pulse. You were nothing more than just a girl who he could lead on and use for his games. You didn’t matter to him the way that Matthew mattered to you. Matthew didn’t carve out a part of his life for you the way that you did for him.

He was a boy lost in a world of adults.

Deep down, I knew that you were too good to be true But every piece and part of me wanted to believe in you But now it's happily ever never I guess now I know better

You wish you could say that after he stood you up, you stopped talking to him. It wasn’t. Sadly, Matthew still continued to hurt you. And you let him. You weren’t sure why. You kept telling people that the times that you were together made up for all of the times he hurt you. All those times he stood you up, ignored you, disappeared on you, or made you cry were made up with good memories. What were those good memories? Those were so far and in between that you couldn’t even remember what they were. If someone had to ask you what your favorite memory is with Matthew, you’d have to pause and think for a moment. Actually, many moments. Oftentimes, you changed the subject. Deep down, you knew that those memories didn’t exist. Matthew hasn’t made you happy in a long time. But, your heart raced every time that you saw him. That, to you, was enough to keep him in your life and not block him out.

One night, you were up waiting for Matthew. He had a Flames charity event and told you it was team only and no significant others. You believed him. You soaked it up and believed him. Matthew never gave you any reason for you to doubt what he was saying. He told you he’d stop by afterwards, so you waited. It was 10:57 when you got an Instagram notification. It was Annica. She posted a photo on Instagram. You open it up and look at the photo. Your face pales. She was at the charity event. So Matthew lied. That was the right thing for you to think. You think you wouldn’t have defended Matthew, right? Sadly, you made up excuses for him. Your conclusion was that only exclusive and labeled girlfriends could attend. That made sense, right? The Flames organization wouldn’t want some random girls to show up. Content with this answer, you closed your phone and returned back to the show you were watching.

You weren’t sure when Matthew would be home, so you texted him. You opened up Instagram to waste some time. You checked the time; it was 11:46. You scrolled and your eye caught on what the Flames had posted. It was photos from the Flames event that night. You swipe through the first three photos. All photos of the team. The fourth photo caught your attention. Matthew was standing there with Annica, Elias, Jacob, and another girl. Had this been any other situation, you would have assumed it was Jacob’s girlfriend. However, you knew he was single as he told you so just recently. Also, this was the same girl that Matthew was with the night he stood you up. To make matters worse, she was standing at the end of the picture and Matthew’s hand was visibly on her waist. You click on the photo and see that she’s tagged. You go to her profile and sigh in relief that it’s public. You notice that she’s updated her story. The first photo is of her and Matthew taking a mirror selfie in an elevator. The second photo is of Matthew kissing her. Matthew was kissing another girl. He lied. Matthew lied. He was in this relationship with another girl and was still seeing you. He was kissing you and sleeping with you as if it were no big deal. Did she know? Did the team know? You’ve met the team numerous times. Did they know? You look through her feed and see many photos of Matthew. Them on dates or just out and about. Matthew was hurting you and stringing you along. He didn’t care.

You weren’t sure why this time you finally realized what was happening. You weren’t sure why it was this instance that finally broke your heart. You couldn’t take it. You immediately blocked Matthew on Instagram and unfollowed everyone on his team and anyone you followed because they were friends with Matthew. You went and blocked his phone number and deleted every photo of him. In the morning, you decided that you would purge your apartment of anything Matthew. You went to bed and cried yourself to sleep.

You fell for a boy who used you for a game. You fell for a boy who only wanted an adventure. You fell for a boy who only wanted to play. There was nothing more than that. He never cared for you in the way you did. He led you on for almost two years and you defended him. You let him do this to you. Yes, Matthew was to blame but so were you. You let him do this to you.

He was Peter Pan and you were Wendy. You grew up but he didn’t.

You're always gonna fly away, just because you know you can You're never gonna learn there's no such place as Neverland You don't understand You'll never grow up You're never gonna be a man Peter Pan

The next morning, you got rid of anything that reminded you of Matthew. You also told your landlord that you were not going to renew your lease at the end of the month. You had to leave. You knew that if Matthew had any way of finding you, you’d let him in and back into your life. You started looking for new apartments and a new job. You couldn’t stay in Calgary. You had to leave. You couldn’t stay in a city where someone who broke you so badly was.

You stayed in a short term apartment until you found a new job and place outside of Calgary. You couldn’t stay at the apartment you were at. You knew Matthew and you knew that he’d just randomly stop by to surprise you. Normally, that would make your heart melt. Now, you were callous and ruthless. You couldn’t let him into your life. You couldn’t let yourself see him. You knew that the minute you looked into his eyes and saw his smile, you’d cave. You refused to let yourself do that.

You got a message from Jacob the other day. You read it but ignored it. You didn’t care that it would be marked as read. He said something about how you disappeared off the face of the earth and Matthew was scared as to where you were. Now he cares? Not all of these other times that he broke your heart and made you cry? Most people would find that sweet and romantic. You knew better. You knew that he knew that you finally caught onto his game. You know that he knows. He’s worried that you’re going to tell this other girl the truth.

Jacob sent you another message shortly after saying that he was worried about you, not Matthew. Your heart warmed knowing that someone cared about you; however, you were skeptical. You didn’t want to open your heart again. You replied to Jacob and told him that you were fine. Jacob must have told Matthew because Matthew emailed you. He went to the effort to look for your work email and send a message. You almost caved. You were about to reply but then you remembered what he did and you ignored it. You blocked his email.

Two days later, you found a new job. You were moving to Toronto for a new job. You gave your two weeks notice and planned everything you possibly could to leave right away. The longer you were in Calgary the more it hurt. When the day finally came to go to Toronto, you breathed a sigh of relief. You were sad to leave your friends and to be far from your family. However, you knew that you needed to heal and find yourself again. Your friends and family knew that you couldn’t heal or find yourself again if you remained in Calgary.

You fell for a boy who couldn’t give you what you wanted. You let this boy take your feelings and use them the way he wanted. You let him ruin you. You let Matthew Tkachuk do what he wanted and you didn’t fight back. He was lost and didn’t want to grow up. You knew that one day, Matthew was going to realize that he made a mistake. He should have locked you down because you were amazing. He’s, somehow, going to find you and you know you’re not going to let him get to you. Because he was never going to grow up. One day, Matthew will find someone who he loves and will want to have a true relationship with. Sadly, that wasn’t you. However, if this thing with Matthew can teach you something, it’s that you know what you deserve. You deserve someone who will love and care for you. This person won’t stand you and see other girls. This person won’t drag you along for almost two years and not make anything official. You weren’t going to date a boy ever again.

You weren’t going to date someone who was a child and lived in Neverland. Never again. Someone like Peter Pan never learns and never grows. One day, when you find yourself again, you’ll open your heart to love again. Someone like Matthew Tkachuk isn’t going to ruin that for you.

Your home of Calgary may forever be tainted with terrible memories, but your new home of Toronto is home to change and growth you’ve made.

Matthew Tkachuk used you in an adventure in his life and used you like you were a game. Nothing mattered to him. He didn’t care. He just knew that you’d always let him back into your life and forgive him. This time, you know better. You’re not going to welcome him back.

You weren’t going to fall for a boy who didn’t know how to grow up. Peter Pan lost Wendy because he couldn’t grow up, and Matthew lost you because he couldn’t grow up.

Yeah, you'll never grow up And you're never gonna be a man Peter Pan Never gonna be a man

#matthew tkachuk #matthew tkachuk imagine #matthew tkachuk fic #matthew tkachuk x reader #nhl fic #nhl imagine #hockey fic #hockey imagine #nhl writing #calgary flames imagine #calgary flames x reader #i'm truly sorry for the angst in this #claudia writes

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