#you will die!!!!! don't even fucking look at them wrong!!! i am fucking watching you!!

[dbphantom]

fuck it im watching the (other) mermaid magical girl show

<- obsessed with magical boys and girls and merpeople

[roosterforme]

Khaki, White and Blue | Bradley Bradshaw x Reader

Summary: Three different uniforms on him. Three different rides for you. But there's just one man who can get you off with his words, his actions and a well placed thigh.

Warnings: Swears, fluff, smutty thigh riding, 18+

Length: 3200 words

Pairing: Beer Boy and Sugar! Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw x Female Reader (former fuckboy college student Bradley)

Happy birthday to @thedroneranger!

This is a one-shot to accompany my fics Old Habits Die Hard and Right Girl, Wrong Time but it can be read on its own! Banner by @mak-32 Check out my masterlist

Bradley bit his knuckle as he watched you come strolling down the vacant sidewalk toward him in the idling Bronco. He grunted softly as you adjusted your bag on your shoulder, never missing a step in your high heels and snug tweed skirt. You were illuminated by the orange glow of the streetlights, and even though it was Friday, your late night teaching advanced calculus, you looked as perfectly put together as you had this morning. 

"Fuck," he moaned when you opened the door and climbed in next to him, your skirt sliding up your thigh as you started to lean closer to give him a kiss.

"What?" you asked, pausing to examine his expression before dropping your gaze down to the insignia pins on his khaki uniform shirt. 

Bradley shook his head, voice raspy as he said, "Don't act like you don't know that you look fine as hell, Sugar. You feel like taking a walk to the library? Maybe check out one of the study rooms?"

He leaned in as your pouty lips formed a perfect smirk, but you just nipped at his mustache, pulling away and teasing him every time he tried to deepen the kiss. You laughed softly as he chased your lips when you asked, "What's wrong with right here?"

Bradley froze except for his big hand that he slowly wrapped around the back of your neck. "Here? Parked on campus?"

You just nodded in response as he subtly adjusted himself in his pants, his body responding favorably to his wife as usual. Then you finally kissed him with parted lips, letting him taste your tongue, and you whined when he reached for you, pulling you gently until you crawled across the seat. 

"You look good in your khakis with all your pins, Beer Boy," you whispered as you eased yourself down to straddle his right thigh. The interior of the Bronco was mostly dark as you reached for his rough hands and set them softly on the hem of your tweed skirt.

"You're such a fucking tag chaser," he said, trying to hide his grin as you tipped your head back and laughed. You both knew that couldn't be further from the truth, he just loved to hear your laughter. But that melodic sound was replaced with a whine as he pushed your skirt up inch by inch, bunching the tweed fabric until his hands were on your bare skin.

As he drew little circles along your thighs, he let his hands drift back until he was cupping your ass. You were already grabbing at his shoulders as you rolled your hips forward, and Bradley had to run his index finger down nearly to your pussy to even confirm you were wearing one of your tiniest thongs.

"I guess I am," you whispered, rubbing yourself against his thigh. "It's making me hot that you're getting a new pin tomorrow, Lieutenant Commander."

"Fuck," he gasped as your knee nudged his hard cock. He glanced around a little frantically, trying to make sure nobody was walking down this quiet side street. "You know, one of your students or coworkers could see this."

"Mmm," you moaned, grinding yourself down on his thigh until you gasped. "See what? Nothing's going on in here."

Bradley palmed your ass before giving you a little smack and tucking his long index finger inside your thong. He guided you forward on his thigh, keeping a foot of space between your upper body and his. 

"That's right, Sugar," he whispered as you rubbed your pussy up and down his khaki pants. "We're just talking here."

You nodded as you bit your lip. "Just talking." When your head tipped back again, showing off your beautiful neck and making your tits strain against your blouse, Bradley had to fight to keep his lips off you. 

"You're putting on a show for me, Baby. Feel good?"

Your hips stuttered a bit as you rode his thigh, and he guided you along with his hands on your delicious hips. "Bradley," you whined. "I... oh... oh!"

"Full sentences. Tell me what you need," he said with a smirk as you tipped your head forward to look at him and scooted up in desperation until your pussy met his gold belt buckle. 

"Need this... oh!"

Bradley thrust his hips to meet you as he growled, "You sound so fucking dumb right now. I thought you had your PhD."

"Fuck!" You reached for his biceps, holding on to him as your lips parted. You were panting as you shook, grinding against the metal buckle, making soft little gasping noises as your eyes drifted closed. Bradley squeezed your hips tight as you came on the front of his khakis, moaning his name as the roll of your hips started to slow. 

He reached for your left hand, running his thumb along your diamond ring as he guided your fingers to his cock where it rested hard and huge against his thigh. "You feel what you do to me?" he grunted. "You feel how much I love you?"

You nodded your head, still coming down from your own orgasm as you squeezed him gently. "I do. I feel it."

Bradley thrust up into your hand as he swallowed hard. "Get buckled in, Sugar," he commanded, and you went scrambling back across the seat, treating him to the sight of your bare ass as you went. Even in the dim light, he could see the slick, wet marks you left all over his pants, and he groaned. "I'll take you home and let you feel it until you're screaming."

-------------------------

You'd never been to a promotion banquet before, but you were thoroughly enjoying every moment of this. Your husband was sitting with his arm around you in his dress whites with his new pin on his uniform while sipping a beer, and he looked gorgeous. He was all crooked grin, crooked white hat, and flushed, pink cheeks, and you knew he would give you anything you wanted tonight. 

"I still can't believe you wore that," he muttered, pressing his lips and mustache to your ear. "You just tell me when you want to go home, and I'll take care of the rest."

You moaned softly at the banquet table, basking in his attention when his beer bottle met your tattoos. You were wearing the black dress from your college reunion, the one you had on last summer when the two of you had reunited after ten years, and there were cutouts on the sides. Bradley's hands had been all over you that night, and they were all over you again now.

"Beer Boy," you warned as condensation dripped down your skin, but he didn't care. His deep, rumbling laughter alerted you to that fact. 

"You've been teasing me all night. You think I don't owe you a little something?"

"What did you have in mind, Lieutenant Commander Bradshaw?"

Bradley looked around the table, nodding to the other officers he knew as he set his beer down and squeezed your shoulder. He hooked his fingers under your chin and kissed you sweetly before saying, "Alright, tag chaser. Let's go for a walk."

Laughter bubbled out of you as Bradley helped you to your feet, lacing his fingers with yours and leading you unhurriedly out of the main ballroom and down a quiet hallway. "Where are we going?" you finally asked when he led you through a propped door next to the kitchens. There were some waiters and bartenders outside smoking, and Bradley pulled you right past them and around to the back of the building. 

"Somewhere you can admire my new rank in private, Sugar."

"Oh," you gasped when he pushed you carefully up against the building, caging you in with his body. He took your left hand and kissed your palm and fingertips before pressing them to his new pin. 

"And somewhere I can admire you," he added in the softest whisper. "I haven't seen you in this dress since our reunion. It's my favorite thing on you besides my Grateful Dead shirt."

His kisses were so soft, but you clenched around nothing as he spread your legs with his knee and pressed his thigh against you. "It's for special occasions," you whispered as your lips skimmed his. You could hear the conversation and smell the faint cigarette smoke, reminding you that you weren't alone. But that just made it even better when he started to hike up your dress, letting you feel the cool, night air on your bare skin.

"Oh god," you moaned into his mouth between sweet kisses when you felt the scratch of his white pants against your clit. "Beer Boy." 

"Hmm," he hummed against your mouth as he gently palmed your bare butt with one big hand, planting his other hand next to your head on the building. He guided you up his thigh, and the pressure against your clit left you gasping. Your hands went to the back of his neck, and he held eye contact with you as you started to rock. "You're gorgeous."

"Bradley."

"And smart. Always so far out of my league," he added, and you clenched again as he kissed your cheek. He was so solid and warm, and your brain was in a fog as he said, "I want you to do it."

"Do what?" you whined, hips rocking against his thigh at the tempo he set with his big hand. 

He squeezed you, digging his fingers into the round of your rear end as he told you, "I want you to mess up my pants, Sugar." He cupped your chin. "Mark me up. Get me all wet. Like you own me."

When your head tipped back, you gasped. You nudged his length as you rolled your hips, but Bradley just said, "Keep going. Keep going." You were practically dangling from his neck as you held onto him and wiggled against him, grinding and humping until you were almost there. "That's it," he encouraged, reading it on your face. "Good girl."

That's all it took as your walls fluttered. "Bradley!" you whined, and his lips found yours as you came, feeling yourself gush just like he wanted. "Oh my god." He kissed you harder before you could get too loud, and your pussy was soaking wet as he guided his knee away from your body as you chased him until your front was pressed completely to his. 

Your dress fell back into place, and he wrapped his hands around your waist as his crooked grin returned. He was fully erect, hard in his white pants, and you were about to offer to take care of it for him when he said, "Let's get back inside and have dessert while I show off my pants, and then I'll take you home and let you suck my cock."

Still whimpering, he paraded you back inside with his pant leg wet at the exact same height as your pussy. 

-------------------------------

Bradley slept like a log after you sucked him off so long and so well, he even dreamed about you showing off your pretty mouth full of his cum before you swallowed. You'd whispered, "I love you, Lieutenant Commander Bradshaw," to him so many times as he dozed off, of course he was startled when he woke up alone. He grunted your name, hand roaming around your side of the bed before he heard the shower running.

He reached down to stroke his cock with a smile, the thought of your body warm and wet with water cascading down back had him a little hard already. The sweet scent of your body wash filled the air, sending Bradley's legs swinging over the edge of the bed to get to you. But then he froze when he saw his white uniform pants on the floor from last night, and his mind drifted. Friday night, you had his khakis in the Bronco, and Saturday you had his dress whites while he got promoted. You deserved everything this weekend, so he turned toward the closet to dig out his third uniform for your grinding pleasure. 

He was grinning as he buttoned up his jacket, affixing his new pin to the front before tossing his blue hat on his head as he heard you call out from the bathroom. "Oh, good, you're up. I had this fun thought that maybe you could-"

You froze in the doorway, completely naked with a pair of clean underwear in your hand, and you bit your lip as you took in his appearance. Bradley watched as you pressed your thighs together, but he knew you'd be spreading them for him soon.

"Maybe I could what?" he asked, voice deep and raspy as you took a few steps closer, closing the distance to him.

You looked up at him, tapping his new pin with your index finger as he stood tall for you. "You read my mind. I was going to say maybe you could change into your dress blues for me," you whispered. "Let me have all three this weekend."

Bradley groaned as you pushed him back toward the edge of the bed where he sat down hard. When you came to stand between his splayed legs, he reached out to wrap his hands around your thighs as you cupped his cheeks and kissed him. Your skin was warm, and when he slid his hands up, he traced your ass with his thumbs, loving how you'd filled out since college. 

"It's all yours, Sugar," he said, kissing along your tits and tasting your skin before you turned your back to him. "Oh, hell," he moaned as you planted your palms on his thighs and bent a little bit before slowly wiggling your ass from side to side against the front of his pants. "What are you doing, Baby?" he rasped, heart thudding as he brought his hands up to your hips while you essentially gave him a lap dance. If you wanted to turn the bedroom into his own private champagne room, he was not about to complain.

"Warming up my seat," you whispered, bumping back on his cock. When you turned to look at him over your shoulder, Bradley leaned forward to kiss your shoulder, and you arched your back for him before you straddled his left thigh. "This okay?" you asked as your back rested against his chest. When you glanced at him again, your lips were so close, he had to kiss them.

"Baby, you do whatever you want to me," he crooned, letting his hands drift to the front of your body. He circled your clit with his middle finger and smiled as his mouth found your neck. Your pussy was nice and wet, just the way he wanted it on his pants, and your ass bumped his cock every time you moved. 

Bradley took his time, moving his finger at the pace he knew you liked as he sucked gently on your neck and shoulder. "You smell good," he whispered before nipping you and licking you over and over again. With every roll of your hips, he thought about bending you over and fucking the absolute shit out of you, but he'd let you have your fun first. 

"A little harder, Beer Boy," you whined, looking back at him as he pressed his finger into your clit until you gasped. Your eyes were half lidded as you planted both of your hands on his leg just above his left knee. "That's so good."

He had only ever been truly good for you. He only ever planned on being good and sweet and everything you needed. When your back arched in pleasure again, you started to rock and grind, treating him to the sight of your perfect ass rubbing his cock. His pants felt snug, and then he thought about how tight your pussy was and he yanked you back against him, making you squeal in delight as he nibbled your ear. 

"You got me really wound up," he growled. Every movement had you rubbing up on him while he swiped his finger up and down your slick clit as you babbled. The faster he moved his finger, the closer you got. And the harder you rocked against his cock. "Jesus, Sugar."

"Can't help it," you gasped, reaching for his hand and pulling it from your clit up to your mouth. "I'm so close." And then you licked his fingers before taking them between your lips, rocking back as you humped his leg. 

You were his wife, always treating him to the finest things in bed and out, but you were feral right now, whining and moaning his name. He explored the front of your body with his other hand, pinching your nipples and squeezing. You got louder, bumping his cock in a delicious rhythm as you sucked away on his fingers. 

He wanted your pussy and your mouth and your tits, every part of your body wrapped around his cock. He wanted it sloppy, just how he knew you could get as your tongue swirled around his fingers. He wanted you every single fucking way. 

"Baby," he groaned, your saliva running down to his palm as your back arched again. "Oh, shit."

His hand settled around the front of your neck as your voice rose, a pretty crescendo of a needy whine as you jerked your hips and came on him. "Bradley!" You were loud now, grabbing at both of his thighs to keep yourself seated as you rode out your orgasm, but it was too late for him as your right hand slid back to grab his cock.

Two loud grunts in your ear, and he came, too. Right in his dress blues. 

He was still thrusting against your hand when you groaned, "I got your pants soaking wet," as your hips slowed down. When you looked back at him one more time, you whispered, "I love you. Tell me how you want me to get you off."

Bradley could feel the stinging heat rising in his cheeks as you gently nibbled his lips and then stood on shaky legs in front of him. You kissed him and knocked his hat off before you reached for the fly of his blue pants. He had to take your hands in his to still them. "You already got me off," he muttered. 

You looked puzzled before you ran your hand lower to his softening cock, and then he saw the realization of what just happened dawning on your perfect face. Your lips parted on a moan that had him reaching to pull your body against him. "That's so hot," you whispered, your voice sounding desperate again. "That's so fucking hot, Beer Boy."

In one swift motion, you pushed him onto his back and straddled his waist, leaning down so your bare breasts rubbed his pins. "You're so fucking hot," he promised as you licked the side of his neck and whimpered, letting your pussy rest on his uniform jacket now.

"How fast can you get hard again?" you asked, taking his wrists in your hands and pinning them above his head before your lips returned to his neck. 

Bradley grinned and closed his eyes, enjoying your little whimpers next to his ear. "With you on top of me, Sugar? I'd say pretty damn fast."

----------------------------

I love these two, and I think Sugar deserved a nice weekend. Congratulations to Beer Boy! And happy birthday, Jay! Thanks @mak-32 and @beyondthesefourwalls

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[whillywisp]

Seeing a lot of talks about finnick as a dad/doting husband during pregnancy on the fyp and I must contribute to the conversation 🌱 (warnings: it's long and so fluffy you're gonna die). Part 1.

Part 2 ☁︎

The thing about Finnick is that he has a lot of love to give to anyone who would take it. His heart is overflowing with it, shining cerulean with it. So of course fatherhood came to him as easily as breathing—

Wrong. Have you seen that walking talking ball of anxiety, love and autism?

The day you tell him you're pregnant he passes the fuck out. On the floor. And when he wakes up he cries for an hour straight, thanking you enough times with kisses pressed into every inch of your skin he could reach that the words don't even sound like English anymore. He's so grateful, so fucking grateful and terrified but above all, completely and irrevocably in love with you.

Throughout the pregnancy, he's as paranoid as it gets to the point you have to beg him to please leave you alone and no, Finnick the baby won't be hurt if i eat too fast please breathe and let me breathe but it's all from a place of love. He's lost too much, almost everything in his life. The few people he could still keep were precious to him and he was not going to let any of them forget that least of all his babies. Or baby.

Finnick talks to the baby a lot. Asking the most bizarre question to your bump as if he actually expected a tiny, baby's voice to answer him. He was constantly on about something new and his favourite topic to talk about was whatever his new hyperfixation was and you just nodded and smiled because of course the baby wants to know how to do an alpine stitch! But it was so endearing and relieving to see him finally be happy, finally find a purpose, even if it was to just talk nonstop to your belly. He deserves this, these little pockets of happiness.

And one of his greatest happiness was taking care of you. Circling back to the fact that he starts hyperventilating when his lover so much as sneezes too hard, the hellscape that was pregnancy scared him. No, fuck it, it terrified him. So he did what he always did and loved to do and banned you from anything and everything that needed physical exertion. Chores of any kind were out of order. You were on a healthy diet of four meals a day and of course they included all your cravings that he always presented to you no questions asked thank you very much and you had to take naps, multiple of them, all with his presence as a requirement (you were sure those were just an excuse to cuddle you but you would rather take up another round of hunger games than call him out on it). He attended every appointment, had an alarm set for all the prenatal meds, and always a kiss for the belly and your lips just so you knew that this was it for him. You and your baby were the very centre of his universe and this was him orbiting you both. And you couldn't help but be grateful that you had him to love and cherish just as he did you.

And your favourite way of telling him you loved him was letting him take control over the one thing you knew he loved: baby shopping. With all due respect, this is the type of guy who bought baby shoes when he was eighteen with no baby in sight because look at how tiny this is it's so cute *big sparkly green eyes.* But it's particularly endearing watching him waltz around the store, arms full of onesies and plushies and you kind of just stand there, unable to do anything because what the fuck were you supposed to do at nine months pregnant and married to a man who you *checks notes* gifted a day where he could buy anything he wanted as a birthday present?

I promise you the answer was not 'go into an early labour the second he dumped the shopping bags in the living room' but who am I to say anything?

The baby coming two whole weeks early did not sit well with his anxiety. He was a mess, a complete and utter mess but he was also the most precious angel on this planet so seeing him holding back tears of fear so he could be there for you and hold you tight, so tight, because he was scared he would lose you broke your heart too. While the pain of the labour was bad, knowing he was close, holding you tight as he pressed gentle kisses everywhere, to cater to everything you needed, was enough to realise, he was the one. And you were going to fight through hell for him.

Such a wretched thing, love, you thought to yourself as you felt him shake beside you through the pain and haze, to ask you to hope against hope that the strain on your strength and your fading string of fate would persevere despite it all.

But you did. You survived and so did your precious little baby girl, and so did the last pieces of Finnick's soul, despite it all.

The first time he holds his tiny, tiny baby in his arms, something in his brain just clicks (or maybe his frontal lobe was finally fully developed because of course his baby picked the day before his birthday to make her own entry on planet earth) but whatever it was, it was perfect. His entire world narrowed down to the squirming little angel in his arms and he couldn't help but feel his heart leave his chest for the second time in his life to become hers. She fit right into the crook of his arms, the space in his neck. She fit into his life like another piece of puzzle that he never knew he was look for.

She was his little angel, his little girl. The person he never knew he fought through whole wars for but now, holding her against his chest as he watched you both sleep, he knew this is what he was meant to do. To love, to love, to love. For the sake of it. Simply because he could. Simply because he was alive and it was good enough reason to love with his entire being.

Part 1 because I don't exactly know if you people will like it enough to want more.

[faeryarchives]

when your hopeless streamer gets a girlfriend (ace trappola x f!reader)

summary: the rising streamer ace trappola has always been teased by his friends and fans about his failed relationships - that is until one certain stream where each and everyone of them were proven wrong.

note: ok i had this idea at 1 in the morning i was like 'hmmm what if we make a streamer series for twst?' and its just full of fluff and crack like no magic au + everyone is just normal

recent fics: happy birthday (malleus x reader) & so what are we? & in sickness and in health

it was around saturday midnight when everyone should be asleep, but ace trappola decided it was a good time to stream a horror game out of all possible games he could play with his friends. they all started as friends before starting the game but i fear he might have none after the stream.

"crabby, where are you~?" the sound of floyd humming through the mic sent shivers down the boy's back as he tried hiding from the hunter. "it's so funny to see floyd just have this tunnel vision to kill ace." jamil's smooth voice rang out, obviously amuse how the scene was unfolding. 

"oh flooooyd! ace is hiding in the house with the telephone!"

"i hate all of you, after this game i am blocking everyone!" seeing him become the victim in the game and everyone turning on against him, his fans flood the live stream chat with laughing emojis and 'take the l'.

"ace, become a good bait while we fix the car." he heard ruggie and deuce laugh at his misery before their characters ran opposite his direction.

"okay who is the one that said floyd should be the hunter this round? hey, hey, hey! stop chasing after me- am i the only player in this game?! epel is right here!" in an act of desperation, ace tried to hide behind epel's character instead but only to receive massive damage when the attack hit him instead.

"eh... but guppy-chan isn't even trying to run away, which is boring!"

"wait, really?" he then stopped running. ace turned to face the hunter's character, trying to see if floyd would actually kill him, only to notice something wrong a little too late. "heh, gotcha,"  ace screamed into his mic, watching his character gets stuck in the tree and meet his demise as floyd split him into half literally. the words 'you died' appeared on the streamer's screen. 

gloomurai: wow you are so great in this game 🤣

"i see you idia-senpai! it's not my fault they all turned against me!"

wani-sama🔧: it's your karma for selling them out to ruggie last game

"yeah, yeah... well, i'm always the last one to get caught, so this can be pretty relaxing." the streamer smirked as he watched from deuce's point of view where he is currently lost in the woods. 

"i get to watch them die but knowing floyd he might quit mid-game." to used to being the first one out, ace sighed, switching from one point of view to another. bored ou of his mind, he looked at the corner of his screen, ace looked at the comments curiously as they try suggesting things.

muscle-red: why don't you do a q and a while waiting then?

"question and answer? don't you guys basically know me already?" ace looked at the screen intently, contemplating whether he should do it.

"fucking viper i swear!" suddenly someone joined the call causing ace to jump in surprised, only to realize it was ruggie. 

"how did you die?"

"jamil betrayed me because we thought it was a four-seater car. it turns out it was only two!" hearing this, ace turned to jamil's point of view and snickered about how he and epel got chased by the sneaky eel. "welcome to the dead club."

as if he could imagine his senior rolling his eyes at his words, he smirked smugly - karma does bite back hard. "hardy har... what were you doing? i heard something about a question and answer?"

"chat wants me to have another q and a portion, what more do i have to tell you guys?"

cowabunga: how is the search for your beloved mwishxr: there is no use in asking that 

"search for my beloved? hey!"

"shishishi! even your viewers are against you!"

it's a running joke in ace's community on how he was immediately dump by his ex girlfriend one week after dating. it wasn't like he wanted to share the story - he shared it as a batsu game after losing a round of uno. usually, when asked about his search for a girlfriend, ace would get all red and try to defend himself from the single until he became old allegations.

but today was surprising because not only did he not become all flustered and defensive - ace trappola looked smug even as he leaned his head into his palm and laughed.

"hmm, i wonder about that?" from behind, ace could hear approaching footsteps stopping next to him, and the live stream chat went wild and even ruggie who was looking at ace's stream right now watched with wide eyes as someone who was wearing the streamer's well-known sweater stood beside him.

"what the fuck?!"

gloomurai: ?!?!? muscle-red: what is with the sudden plot twist wani-sama🔧: WAIT wani-sama🔧: IS THAT-?!

"heya (nickname)~" ace hummed, turning his gaming chair facing your direction, his arms wrapping themselves around your waist as he grinned at you ever so cheekily. "you're late!"

"what are you five? i don't even know why you want me to come over." you rolled your eyes, trying to push him away playfully, only to run your fingers through his hair and chuckle.

seeing him lazily smiling at you causes you to succumb to your urge to pinch his cheeks - hard, making ace cry out in pain. before you could even ask another question, you saw something flash at the corner of your eye causing you to look at his monitor - realizing that he is still streaming. while holding onto you. and he not even on mute!

"this is all your plan, wasn't..." holding his face in your hands, ace could only laugh and nod, his hand quickly pulling you down, making you sit on his lap as he proudly present you to everyone. "as you can see, i am not hopeless anymore!"

wani-sama🔧: WHAT ARE YOU DOING SIS?!

"how is it possible i could hear sebek through the screen..." you sigh, leaning your back on ace and waved at the camera so casually as if the chat and ruggie weren't surprised at all.

"i just want to say to chat that ace didn't have my family in hostage." with you hand wrapped around his, you put up up and showed it to the camera. "and he is stuck with me."

hearing at just what you said made everyone in the chat go insane erupting into numerous emoji and something with the lines of 'oh my god he is not lying!' or just exclamation but nothing beats the reaction of your friends.

"(name) you settled for a guy like him?!" you could hear ruggie's surprised voice through your boyfriend's headset and honestly, you were contemplating if you would agree or just laugh it off.

"what can i say? sometimes, idiots have their charms."

jamil-viper: i can't believe you got (name) of all people... deuce-spade: oh thank god i don't have to keep it a secret anymore. wani-sama🔧: YOU KNEW?! epel-felmier: i think that's the effect of not our gc !!

the stream goes on with ace finally having his bragging rights and the twitter stans going crazy about the sudden girlfriend reveal. oh well, karma does hit back hard doesn't it?

[beanghostprincess]

I feel like the minute Luffy gets a crush on someone he panics and straight up hates it. It's like why am I acting so weird like it's just Zoro/Saji/ usopp!!! Every time they compliment them or smile at them, he has to cover his face with his hat. He starts laughing like an idiot and makes terrible comebacks. All of his confidence and stupidity turns into awkwardness and self-consciousness. He's straight up not having a good time.

Luffy would kill himself on the spot. He instantly just jumps into the fucking sea.

Zoro: Something something, of course, my captain Luffy: I- Haha. My heart is beating funny. Haha. Give me a moment, Zoro! <3 *literally just jumps into the water* Nami: LUFFY WHAT THE HELL??? Luffy: Glupglupglupglup

He knows what a crush is, he's not stupid. He just doesn't fucking want it because he doesn't know what to do with so many overwhelming emotions so he genuinely goes to Chopper to make it go away. Chopper is confused af because he genuinely doesn't know what a crush feels like exactly and he thinks Luffy is going to die of a weird illness so he PANICS. And if this happens casually when Law is around (make it around wci), he can't just take it anymore:

Law: Luffy, for the tenth time, you're not fucking sick. You just have a crush on your cook. Luffy: Torao you're the worst doctor in the world!! You're wrong!! I hate this!! Law: Yeah, well, people normally hate it. Deal with it. Why am I even helping you here- Luffy: MAKE IT GO AWAY!!!! Law: I CAN'T MAKE IT GO AWAY YOU FUCKING MORON THAT'S A YOU PROBLEM. IT'S NOT A MEDICAL CONDITION. Luffy: Then take my heart and just??? Throw it away??? Law: I am going to kill you with my bare hands. Luffy: Please? :( Law: Luffy, I swear to God-

The poor thing is so lost and he gets really overwhelmed by absolutely nothing. Like. Genuinely nothing- And the girls are always there to help him out, but sometimes it's just such a funny sight.

[Luffy sitting with Robin on deck and watching the crew just do their things. Usopp practicing his aim and new inventions in front of them] Usopp: Hey, Luffy! Check this out! *does the stupidest most sexiest thing in the whole world because he just looks hot af when he's shooting at stuff* Luffy, blushing uncontrollably, covering his face with his hat and dying from a heart attack: Jndjkandeuiwbkwendknjdkjs *Incoherent noises* Robin: Are you alright, captain? Luffy: Make it stop, Robin :( Robin: Haha, I'm afraid I can't do that. Usopp: Luffy??? Robin: He says it's really nice!

And a little bonus:

[Red Hair pirates and the Strawhats finally meeting and throwing a party together] Luffy: And then Zoro cut that guy in half like it was nothing! It was the coolest thing ever, right, Zoro? Zoro: I would go to hell and back for you, captain, and that's the anecdote you tell him? Luffy: I- It was a really cool fight! Shut up, captain's order! Don't say things like that! Zoro: Mm. Shanks: Oh. *Turns to Beckman* When were you gonna tell me the kid is down bad for his first mate? Benn: Congratulations, you got one out of three. If you guess who are the other two, I'll let you drink more than usual today, captain. Shanks: *Blushes uncontrollably* Chopper: Oh no!! You're sick too??! Shanks: What do you mean, funny reindeer? Chopper: Luffy does that when he's around Sanji a lot!! Shanks: :) The other is Black Leg. Benn: Not fair at all.

[team7-headquarter]

Team 7 introductions are like:

Naruto: I want to obtain POWER so I can force people to look at me like an actual human being and not a monster, haha! They won't ignore me or isolate me anymore! They're gonna BEG ME and put their lives on my hands and— Oh and ramen. All the ramen. And maybe prove to everyone that they are dumb ass fuck for not believing in me? Yeah, prove them wrong, that's cool! And and and Iruka-sensei is cool! I'm so happy when someone does the bare minimum and respects my life and acknowledges the fact that I'm just a kid and that I'm suffering (one of) the craziest discrimination acts applied by our government Hokage...

Sakura: you know how the first real goal I got like the first thing I wanted for myself after years of being bullied and being nobody and wanting to disappear was the affection of this boy? Well, all these other girls think I don't stand a chance and that they'll get the boy, so I'm gonna win the boy and laugh at their faces. Does it mean that I need validation and affection and attention and love? Not, what are you saying, I have a perfect normal life and parents that are totally involved in my life and I am happy! So happy! I wouldn't know what sadness or loneliness is like! Never! I'm normal and totally nothing to worry about!

Sasuke: you'll find that the things you like in life are meaningless when you carry the trauma of being the sole survivor of a genocide committed by the brother you loved and adored. I want him dead which shouldn't be surprising given that we live in a society ruled by violence, right? I hate a lot of things because I'm painfully aware of how miserable our reality is. Since this is my trauma, no one else has the right to do something about it. They certainly didn't seemto have the balls to go after him, even when they call him criminal, so I'm gonna kill Itachi myself. Obsessed you said? Try enjoying life when you know someone can commit genocide and no one would give a fuck and the government won't do a thing. Try caring for others knowing they can get kill any day and you'll have to look the other way. I dare you to.

Kakashi: *most emotionally neglected adult in the village, abandoned as a kid, saw his father do the right thing and get so socially pressured he ended up commiting suicide and the government didn't give a shit, forced to become a perfect weapon at young age to show off the village strength, forced to become an elite assassin as a kid, people in the village widely making fun of his trauma and acting like he's just weird / peculiar and not on the verge of losing his mind for real, a champ at dissociation and a minute more away taking roots in front of the graves of his mistakes because he spent way too much time there in self-punishment, basically the most miserable jounin in the whole village*

Kakashi: hm, I won't let you get to know me or get close to me because everything I touch dies and I don't want to get attachments because you're soldiers and you might die and it doesn't matter that I have history with two of your families and that you all remind every single minute of the boy I watched die and the girl that I killed and the boy used to be. You will never know any of that. I am a whole man with a whole life that you'll never know because I am just your superior here and you must obey me in our missions. I'm definitely not hiding the fact that the village just failed me and set me up to be the one who failed you all in case you get killed or lose your shit once and for all.

[slavghoul]

Slav, what are some of the changes you would like to see in the concerts? I think you've said this before, but Ghost sometimes kind of threads this line of "you've seen one concert, you've seen them all", which, don't get me wrong, there's nothing wrong with that (look at Iron Maiden, for example) but, with their concerts even being scripted for little moments and jokes, it can get old pretty fast. Maybe the new Papa could bring some spontaneity (I agree with you, I feel like it could be someone younger - crazy to think we're talking about made up guys). Anyway, sorry for the ramble.

It's always going to be scripted to the max, I don't expect that will change. We're already getting like a few minutes of spontaneity per show, which tbh is a lot more than in the past lol. It gets stale, but only for what, 5% of fans who are wild enough to do all the dates on a given tour, or watch every single filmed performance on YouTube? They're not the target audience. Anywho, the changes I'd like to see are maybe more on a visual side. New outfits, sure. But also in terms of stage design. I'm ceeeertain Tobias has got the wildest fucking ideas in his head that probably couldn't be realised thus far due to budget limitations. I don't know what that could be and to be frank I am terrified of the possibilities. But I know it's gonna be an acid trip.

No joke that's what I imagine he looks like at every super serious meeting with important concert-making people

Also, I would like to see Papa play an instrument on stage, even if only as some kind of a running joke. Preferably a guitar. I need to witness him churn out some mean riffs on stage before I die. Imagine he leaves the stage during a song and comes back to blast out a guitar solo? I'd explode

[respectthepetty]

Pit Babe Colors Finale

I'm challenging myself with this show and seeing how good my color skills really are, so I'm doing my normal thing of watching it double-speed on mute, but now, the captions are off also.It's just colors and vibes here. It's been a chaotic journey, but it finally ends today, most likely with a character death, so . . .

Disclaimer: I'm just screaming this entire post.

Surprising absolutely no one, Barbara immediately forgave Charles. Like I wrote last week, I'll hold this grudge for both of us, Babe.

If this bastard is still alive by the end of this, there is no justice in the world.

Did he just give them a key to get out? They could just walk through a door, but . . . I'll take it. Kentana is trying to redeem himself. Now, KILL YOUR SHITTY FATHER, and you will earn the top place in my heart.

Don't do it, Way Way. Don't. I see you eyeing that man, but you will take zero bullets for Pete or Babe. Am I clear?! NONE! I don't care if you are wearing white compared to everyone else's black. You will not die. No.

I'm not even going to say shit about these two's colors because BIG RED JUST KILLED A KID!

OH FUCK! HE IS KILLING EVERYONE!

KIMBERLY! I LOVE YOU!

And this is why you deserve to die. Who does something like this? It's not a porn, sir. This is a murder. You're about to die. Not get laid.

WAYMOND, NO! I TOLD YOU NOT TO FUCKING DO THIS! NOOOOOOOOOO!

I know it's blood, but the 'smoke' being red too is great and I need more of it as BIG RED DIES FOR KILLING WAY WAY!

Y'all are letting Big Red talk too much while Way Way is just bleeding out on the floor, and I just need one of y'all to apply pressure to the wound so Way has a fighting chance. Please for the love of God. PLEASE! LET WAY LIVE!

Oh, shit, this is awful. Do NOT think about any good memories with this man who wore red in the past but no longer does for some wacky reason. Those memories are all tainted. He is awful. KILL HIM ALREADY AND GET WAY WAY TO THE HOSPITAL!

I HATE HIM! Barbara, don't you trade your life for Charles. Don't fucking do it. Charles came back from the dead once. He can do it again. KILL BIG RED ALREADY!

OH MY FUCKING GOD, YES! I LOVE KENTA! KILL HIM!

YOU KILLED YOUR SHITTY FATHER! YOU'VE DONE WHAT NO OTHER BL BOY HAS EVER DONE!

YOU WON MY HEART!

Now, someone go hug him! Pete what the fuck are you doing?! One boyfriend is dying and another is breaking down. DO SOMETHING, PETER!

I knew this was going to happen! I knew Way was gonna die taking a bullet for Babe. I knew it, and I'm still upset! WHY?! Why can't Peter have TWO boyfriends?! Why do we always have to kill someone to redeem them and to cancel them out of the poly plot equation. LET POLY HAPPEN!

Fuck, Alan is crying.

FUCK!

I will not be pacified with Jeffrey finally being consumed by blue. I'm still very upset about Way Way having to die instead of Peter just having two boyfriends.

Vegas' Hedgehog, I'm so over your ass! Red flowers?! At Way's funeral?! That is sooooo rude! What is wrong with you?! Read the room, you pretty bitch! RED IS OUT! Way died for the blue! THE BLUE!

I hate this necklace. I hate that Way is dead instead of being taken care of by his two boyfriends. Where the hell is Ken anyway?! Why is he not holding Peter's hand right now? WHAT IS THIS LIE?!

I trust your dad, Barbie, because he is wearing blue, but you have had to cry a thousand tears this episodes, and I pray like GMMTV's First, you stay hydrated because crying can wreck havoc on a thirsty body.

Y'all cannot fuck the grief away in the blue. You can try, but Waymond is still gonna be dead instead of having two boyfriends. This is a real problem, and I want it addressed. RIGHT NOW!

KIMBERLY! YOU'RE BLUE NOW!

Everyone is in blue, and then we have Vegas' fucking Hedgehog in those damn orange pants, and . . . AHHHHHHH *starts throwing clothes around the room and out the window*

Barbie is lighter. He is still black, but now he has the white mixed with it while he looks longingly into the eyes of his Blue Boy (who lied to him several times including lying about his death, pero I'll carry this grudge for both of us, Barbara)

Now why the fuck are you wearing red, Alan?! Why won't this show just let me have nice things?!

So . . . now that this is all over and I, unsurprisingly, did NOT get poly nor Kenta x Pete, I will be unblocking the tags because seeing black boxes on my dash is driving me crazy, and I need to reblog some GIFs of Kimberly, Alan, and Waymond x Peter x Kentana to fill this huge void in my heart where a poly plot would have perfectly fit.

I will never go back and watch this show with subs. Never. Whatever I got from it was exactly what I needed to get from it, and I need nothing else. Because what I got was a boy FINALLY deciding to

KILL HIS SHITTY FATHER

Kenta, you deserve my respect. You loved Pete. You helped all the guys in your own way. You killed your shitty dad. You committed queer wrongs, and I forgive every single one of them. You deserve a happy life, and I hope you are laying in Pete's bed with his arms around you thinking about what y'all will have for breakfast, so he can read your mind and go make it for you.

I like you.

I respect you.

I love you.

And so does Pete.

GIVE ME POLY, DAMN IT!

[polyklok]

Omg omg i love your writing!!! No words can describe how much I love it!

Imagine muderface with a s/o or crush that says the weirdest stuff, like some stuff that they have been through. It is so random! Like those tik toks that say "the Egyptians believed the most significant thing you could do is die" in the most randomest of situations.

Like imagine just chilling out doing nothing and y/n looks over at muderface and says "would a zombie apocalypse be a formal event? Like your buried in your best clothes?"

It woukd very so cool if you could write something for this but if you don't want to that's cool!

Just wanted to share my thoughts. No one I know watches Metalocalypse.

Thank you!!!

Have a wonderful day or night!!

(I didn't really check my grammar or spelling that well, I am sorry)

Murderface with an S/O that says ~random~ things!

“The color is actually named after the fruit.”

You baffle him daily. He never asked to be spoonfed random trivia, shower thoughts, or absurd hypothetical questions. And yet, here he was, eating it all up.

When William was first met with your verbal hijinks, he was just so, so confused. Why did you know this? Why were you telling him this?

“What?”

“Orange. Like, people just described the color as yellow-red or something before the orange fruit was spread around Europe and they got a new word for it. The color is named after the fruit.”

“…Okay???”

For a while, he thought you were trying to give him clues about something. He was just extremely suspicious of you. Like, surely there had to be a reason behind it, right? Well, no, and he soon just found it was a quirk of yours.

He was always told to shut up whenever he tried to pipe in or had an interesting fact to share, so you defying one of the fundamental rules of his life is a bit jarring.

As he grows closer and more comfortable to you, he gets used to your pondering and even begins to consider them. Maybe you have a point?

“What’s the minimum amount of ducks do you think it would take to fully kill an adult rhino?”

“I don’t fuchkin’ know. Probably a schit ton.”

“I bet, like, five. They’d just swarm him.”

“You are scho wrong. He’d schtomp them all to a pashte.”

Well now he’s gonna stay awake all night thinking about it. He can’t decide if you’re the stupidest person he’s ever met or the smartest. Either way, he gets a little flustered when facing the seemingly infinite expanse of your mind.

After a while, he begins to pick up your habit. In his own Murderface-way, of course. He had a pretty obvious interest in things like car mechanics and war history, but now he’s more willing to share all of what he knows with you. He’s really excited that someone finally seems interested in what he has to say, no matter how meaningless it is.

And once that door is open, he becomes more willing to open up on a deeper level. Even though he’s a dumbass, he does have a depth of intelligence, even if he isn’t great at articulating it. Be patient and you’ll get some fascinating conversation from him.

“Even if there isch a God…like, what the fuck, man?! You juscht gonna leave us all down here to suffer and schit? I might as well ignore you juscht to schpite you! What a dick move.”

William never realized how valuable it was to him just to be listened to. Simply talking to you slowly becomes one of the better parts of his day, everyday.

It takes a lot for Murderface to love and it takes even more to love him back. But the effort is well worth it with these types of riveting discussions;

“You have to fight a bug that’s 100 times its original size and you get one weapon from the medieval era. What is your bug and what’s your weapon?”

“Easchy. Butterfly, Croschbow. One arrow for each wing. Instant win.”

[ghostsprettymama]

MONA LISA

"All the time in the world"

Warning: mommy/daddy kink,bondage,blindfolding,knifeplay,slight degrading,edging,mentionings of murder, gang violence, weed , guns. situationships. posessive sex. MDNI 18+

Pairing: gang member! Shuri x reader, childhood crush shuri x childhood crush reader! wlw, dom and sub. fuckbuddies.

Word count: 4,939 words 26,120 characters

ALL CHARACTERS ARE 18+ UNLESS STATED OTHERWISE

part one. part two

A/N: the chapters late due to some technical issues but i still hope you like it

---------------------------

(f/f) = favourite flower

(y/f/c) = your favourite color

xhosa translations -

Nkosazana - my girl.

umntwana wam - my baby

Le intombazana izoba kukufa kwam-This girl will be the death of me

----------------------------

Y/n Pov

She woke up with an aching headache, luckily it was the weekend. She turned on the tv taking her braids out letting her natural hair breathe.

soon she got up to washing n blow drying her hair, her mind full of thoughts. She styled her hair, cleaned up her room going back to rest in her room.

Damn. These two days were a lot she thought to herself running over the things that happened in two days. Am I just forgiving shuri for doing dumb shit to me? Im just letting her walk over me at this fucking point. you sighed, getting on her for being a playgirl and tryna control her from fucking people when we aren't together, fuck do I look like acting pussy crazed? you made a face while watching your favorite tv show.

You sat there thinking, lost in your thoughts deciding to get your shit together. You can't be out here in ATL crawling on all fours for shuri. You got dressed in a presentable fit, putting jewelry on, fuck I forgot to brush my teeth. You sighed brushing your teeth and putting makeup over the hickeys.

you left your phone at home going next door to the Udaku household you knocked once and T’challa answered, there were people in the back. And your brother. “Shuri isn't here,” T’challa said closing the door but you stopped it with your hand. “Not here for her. thank you.” you said staring up at him “Erik is- “not for him either nigga damn. Where is your mother?” you said getting annoyed with him.

“She's out back but aren't you too dolled up to be in a garden,” T’challa said raising an eyebrow and trying to get smart with you” boy I don't have the time or energy to deal with you today, either you move or im climbing that bigass fence out back, “ you said being deadass serious, they never took you seriously till you got pissy with them.

“ ight ight chill ma damn,” said T’challa letting you in. You see a woman with locs, she smiled and waved at you, a skin-bald woman focusing on talking to a man who looked like he lived breathed, and worshiped the gym, he made eye contact with you and you shivered walking faster to the back.

You opened the door to the garden seeing Ramonda drinking tea, she was waiting for you. “What's wrong umntwana wam?”(my baby) when you got to her table you sighed sitting down.

“I'm just so lost ever since we left Georgia.” You said holding her hand “well I'm here to listen, tell me everything, whatever you don't tell me I know already, honesty is key.” Said Ramonda smiling softly but being dead serious, ever since you were little she knew everything that happened as if she had eyes everywhere and you didn't know.

You took a deep breath and Ramonda nodded. “Well ever since we were moving here so fast without me being told this I've been so stressed. Because the day after I didn't go to school, T’challa and Erik cut connections with each other at 14, and for 3 years we kept fucking moving from school to school and then we came here??” you sounded so fucking confused “ And I was so happy to see shuri, I even ignored how I felt when I was with her because she made me feel so happy and good, then when I spent the night we did something, and I couldn't even wake up next to her I woke up in my room, no note no nothing just a text telling me to dress pretty for her like I'm some fucking doll” you expressed your frustrations while Ramonda watered her plants. She was listening, no matter what she did, she told you to continue either way.

“Then she smacked my butt? Idk why she keeps doing that I never understood the shit. And when I yelped because it hurt Erik and T’ just acted weird telling me not to scream or they're gonna make sure someone stops breathing?? Like and they were reaching for something too ?? Were normal highschoolers I don't get why it's like this Maam” you said face planting onto the glass table. “umntwana wam, don't do that it'll bruise your pretty face.” she went behind you taking care of your hair while you spoke to her about what happened.

“ And in school, these girls approached me at Gym trying to tell me to avoid shuri cause she's a playgirl, they call me fat like being fat is a bad thing? Then proceed to flirt with shuri in front of me and I guess shuri was ‘lost in the moment “ you said doing air quotes causing Ramonda to make an mm-mm sound . “and said hurtful shit and I didn't know what to do so I did what I did at other schools when I'm overwhelmed, I went to the bathroom but then ran there when the girl's friends ran after me to just give me a panic attack by yelling things and banging on my door” you said huffing you felt Ramonda braiding your hair but she was gentle and made sure not to hurt you.

“And then the girl I met when I was going to class with Shuri OH NO ABOUT THAt. Her name is Riri, right? She was so nice to me for some reason and we clicked instantly” you smiled at the memory “she helped me hide the gifts.. Shuri left” you rolled your eyes and Ramonda smacked your head, you hissed in pain “ow!” you say “ if you keep rolling those eyes you're gonna roll them to outer space,” she said, “ continue.”

You continued “ then this weir- I mean odd white boy” Ramonda never liked the word weird, she doesn't find people weird she finds them misguided. “he kept staring at me, then the teacher Ms. Romanoff was digging for information out of me, I was so confused because normal teachers don't fucking do that?? And Riri and Shuri already were shaking their heads no, even though I didn't know how to respond. nothing interesting about my family they are just farmers and accountants" she sighed " and then peter, that's the white boy's name btw, he was saying I don't know shit I should, Riri and shuri told him to shut up and just told me to hurry up to gym" you said confused as hell " Peter is right you don't" she said nearly finished with your hair, she was so relaxed while listening, a bird even landed on her shoulder.

"and that led to what I said at the gym, but I ended up crying so hard I threw up, and then Riri offered to help me fix my makeup or make it better, and she did." you smiled again at the bonding moment," she said she was gonna 'air this bitch out ' if they don't leave me alone whatever that means," you said shrugging, the motion made the bird leave.

"then yk the three musketeers came in looking like riri killed someone even though ik she wouldn't, that's illegal and only bad people do it.” you said confidently from what your “mother,” told you.

“ then they overwhelmed me, especially Erik trying to question me when I was already WAYY too overstimulated,” you said rubbing your temples while Ramonda did your edges. “I went to the library to fall asleep, I only wanted to skip through lunch, but I skipped 2 whole periods.” you said in a confused manner not knowing you were that tired “ Dont do that again, skipping is harmful to your grades.” she interrupted, showing care for you.

“and then shuri for some reason even if she was mad laid her head on my lap, and we ended up doing that. And I forgave her for some reason... That's all Maam” She nodded sitting down but yelled for Nakia, the girl with braided hair came out “ Yes ma'am? “ she had a nice voice, and she was pretty too..” could you take this set inside? We're done with our tea” Ramonda asked not breaking eye contact with you.

“Of course Ma'am" she nodded taking it inside not batting an eye at you. "so before I get into it and be honest with you, I want to meditate with you to make sure you're calm," Ramonda said, getting up placing two mats in the grass. you got on your mat sitting down crisscross applesauce style, Ramonda doing the same.

She guided you throughout the meditation with deep breaths and clearing your mind, you closed your eyes Repeating the steps and doing what you were told.

T’challa pov.

I don't know what the fuck her problem was when she came but I kept my cool.

I locked the door closing the blinds, everyone's phone was in a basket with their locations off.

“Who was that? “ M’baku said, with a smile on his face”nunya damn business nigga leave my sister alone” Erik Gave a stank face to M’baku, that dude always was a straight up weirdo to him.

“or what ??? You ain’t touching me" M'Baku said knowing it was the truth. Erik rubbed his temples " NIGGA SHEES GAAAY." Erik said tired of this beefy ass man. "oh" M'Baku said adjusting himself. Okoye bursted out laughing as Nakia chimed in laughing their asses off. "HAAA HE WAS GONNA TRY TO FUCK ON A GAY GIRL" Nakia laughed wheezing so hard she sounded like she was on life support.

When the two were done laughing like hyenas, the tv turned on as T'challa was presenting " So wbk gang and plug business that's how we thrive here." Everyone nodded some going like mhm, yea. " Recently our shipments have been going missing when in manhattan"T'challa had shown photos of 8 people A Man that look like he was freshly 50, with brown hair and a small beard, a long mustache, at the first incident with the touch passing through Greensboro, North Carolina. the truck driver was shot and the goods were taken.

then a woman that looked like Y/n's teacher, in a black jumpsuit, skintight. The truck was just barely through Charlottesville, she appeared in front of it causing it to crash off the course and blow up.

another one played, this one was familiar to Erik, it was the silhouette of his classmate peter parker. “T’ where these people from?” Erik looked at T’challa who looked at Nakia, she came back from outside putting the tea sets on the counter. “ They're from manhattan New York, working with Stark industries under stark directly” she turned on her computer and connected it to the tv, clicking on google docs.

“These docs are 67 pages in the counting of the information I collected on them including employee information. and ally information" Nakia said, her voice sounding like candy.

“Get to the point,” M’baku said, growing impatient with this talk, okoye rolled her eyes tired of this sassy ass man.

“I messaged you all your targets as the district leaders, you know what to do, quick, clean quiet” Nakia ended her presentation sitting back down as the lights came back on T’challa came back to the center.

“Do not by any means involve bystanders that aren't mentioned. “ T’challa said “ T’challa I don't get it, if the Kid was born into this why isn't she involved,” Okoye asked leaning against the wall and staring at the 6-foot man, Okoye definitely wasn't for this babying nonsense, she's grown, time to put her work in. “ shes soft, she’d fuck up,” Said T’challa deflecting her statement.

“Like Erik hasn't fucked up? He fucked up taking territory, and shipment deals ain't that why you petty ass niggas ain't friends no more because of that? But * she mocked T’challa babying y/n* ‘oh she's just a baby’” Okoye rolled her eyes to mars and back “if it's too much on her then that's that but you need to see her as a grown ass woman, not a child” Okoye said clearing T’challa

He looked at Nakia for help and she shrugged him off “she's right, shuri literally controls a district” Nakia seconds Okoyes point “but you do need to stop.” Nakia and Okoye sighed in unison “ But as you said don't involve bystanders right? Don't involve her in this” Nakia said, it was a threat to T’challa, and she didn't wanna see that kid in the business they were in.

Y/N pov

When You and Ramonda finished our meditation she sat me down explaining everything.

“you had to move from your last home because Erik had messed up a deal, he accidentally left the backpack full of the goods he was selling, and you know how that goes.” Y/n looked at Ramonda, not believing her, this shit sounded like the stuff that’d be in the movies. “You moved because it was trouble and would threaten your life since you hung around the customer, and they knew where you lived” she said "Don't believe it? read "

she tossed the newspaper to me and y/n read it. she couldn't believe it all when she got done reading she looked at Ramonda. "Is this gonna affect how you see us and your family?" Ramonda looked at her, hoping the girl wouldn't have said the wrong answer. “No. I know you guys aren't bad. But I have a question” Y/n said causing Ramonda to raise her eyebrow “ have any of you killed anyone?” Y/n said and Ramonda nodded.

“Justified in our eyes, they killed our members so we killed theirs.” Ramonda sipped her drink “ you won't be involved due to your heart being soft, and your little entanglement with shuri.”Ramonda said, wanting to avoid problems and issues in her business "oh, and about shu- "don't put all your peas in the pod, and shuri is just misguided and confused as are you, find your path." Ramonda interrupted "Oh and go to the store with The kids and their friends yeah? Here's the list. Use the car too" Ramonda handed me the list, wow that's a lot to unpack.

when I went in the house shuri was in the kitchen, she smiled at me, I wasn't gonna ignore her, I smiled back at her" Cmon Ramonda said we need to go to the grocery store" everyone turned their heads to me as I said that, T'Challa came over to me grabbing for the list but I smacked his hand. “I'm not a baby, don't baby me. I can get the stuff too, I'm a grown-ass woman T’challa” you snapped, stored anger coming out “She told me to drive too so cmon” you said walking through the living room and heading outside, the crew near the couch and shrugged not caring who drives. Everyone had come out with masks n hats on, shuri too.

You saw how good she looked, biting your lips and looking her up and down, but you shook your head not giving in to the temptations of that woman, Okoye, M'baku, and nakia hopped in their cars. you used the keys to unlock the car hopping in, shuri hopping in next to You, the two boys that were left sitting in the back.

“Ma, can you not crash this car ? We need it “ shuri said to you joking “before we drive im saying this to all of you” they looked at y/n confused as hell. “ Dont baby me. The shit is weird and im grown Aight?im not little anymore, babying me makes me uncomfortable, so treat me seriously" you said starting up the car , you drived infront of the other three, them following behind.

"What makes you think we baby you Y/n?" Erik said geniunely not noticing. " you treat me like i cannot handle my own situations, do everything for me and not let me do anything, when i want space you invade it and comfort me like im a child throwing a tantrum. dont do that shit anymore, this includes you shuri" you said with a monotone voice finally setting boundaries.

Erik nodded looking at T'challa, he also nodded accepting what y/n said. Shuri nodded slowly kissing her teeth.

You loved the sight of her being pissed off, she doesn't like being called off on shit she did as a mistake. you parked in front of nakia got out of the car taking the keys.

you hummed getting a cart, "wait get inside it" shuri said to me, with a smile on her face. "hmm.. alright ill go with your idea." You said hopping and sitting in the cart.

Shuri, pushed the cart with me inside, T'challa had split the list up for us to split up and get the items so they weren't in this store for long.

First me and shuri went down the dairy isle, we picked some things out , mainly eggs, then she span me around fast causing me to grip the cart tight. she giggled looking at me " stop taking everything seriously, have a little fun"

shuri said playing with my braids "mmmh my mom did this?" she tugged on it causing me to smack her hand.

"yeah she did and I look pretty." you took her advice and improved, you felt so free now, Shuri would grab seeds tossing them in. "I'm still mad at you though," you said, shuri kept going saying mhm “ because every time I'm upset you comfort me and we end up fucking, like I enjoy us fucking but when I need space I expect you to give it, and ill do the same." you looked back at her and she gave a kiss on your lips.

"im sorry my Nkosazana, ill take note of that to make your experience with me better." she gently strokes your face causing you to melt. "mmh hate when you just do that" you crossed tour arms pretending you weremt affected, you werent gonna let her she the affect she has on you. "what its just a kiss? am i not allowed to do that now mami?" Shuri smirked putting more stuff in the cart.

"Ah my legs are asleep, i wanna get out." you got out the cart with Shuri's help, wobbeling abit since your legs were asleep for 5 minutes. Shuri cackled at how you wobbled getting some ideas for later.

"Not today satan!" you said walking away from her as you heard her say so damn loud the entire store good hear almost " damn i love to see you go but hate to see you leavee.." she said without any shame in the world.

you walked faster bumping into Riri at the store, shuri was behind you but Riri wasnt paying no mind to her.

"Oh thanks for redoing my makeup i needed that yesterday" You said smiling at riri. "oh no problem, youre the world to me so id do anything to stop a friend crying" Riri smiled.

You gave her a hug, Riri's head laying in between your breasts, when you finished the hug she raised an eyebrow. "god damn i almost got suffocated between them bitches." Riri laughed causing you to laugh so hard you hold your stomach " god damn Ri your laugh is fucking contageous " you Sighed feeling eyes on you, you turned to shuri and man she wasnt happy, you dont know how but you wanted her to feel like how you felt yesterday.

"byee riri, oh wait! "you put on red lipstick, dark from your bag. "stay still f'me " you crouched, Riri taking offense to it, looking you up and down but her eyes wandering to your breast, then her eyes moving to shuri whose eyes were burning through her skull watching Y/n kiss her forehead.

“Damn Y/n thats all the love i get? I see now you js dont love your new bestie then.” Riri said, she was smart enough to know what you were doing, you planted kisses all over her face before going back to shuri, at this point your lipstick was off.

"okokay im done now lets check out!" you said with a smile,Shuri remained silent,moving to checkout. The cashieer didnt look at Shuri neither did the bagger. you hummed helping them , you looked at shuri seeing her text someone, you shrugged going outside.

You used the keys to T'challas car to unlock the trunk safely putting all the goods inside, closing the trunk.

LATER

You took a shower at shuri's, for some reason Ramonda told you to stay the night, out of curiousity, You sat on shuri's bed wearing a big T-shirt,no panties.

Shuri came in late, your eyes were on the tv hearing her close and lock the door,in this house when doors are locked no one goes upstairs, especially when its Shuri.

"Oh? how was your little buisness trip?"you looked at her with a innocent smile"buisness trip? ma i didnt go on no damn trip." Shuri said looking at you, she was already frustrated and upset yet you pushed further.

"oh dont lie to me i already know , your mother told me, so how was it." you looked back at the tv hearing shuri get close , her sweat going past the chains she waas wearing.

"do i need to teach you to mind your fucking buisness?" she gripped my jaw roughly turning me to face her,her eyes staring at me like i lost my damn mind " who are you talking to because it isnt m-" before you could even finish, her hand moved to your throat, turning your pussy into a pool. she was nearly choking you if she didnt have restraint.

"Say something smart and i will fuck you till you cant even think of some smart shit to say t'me, im most deffinently not the one bitch. you already pissed me off and im not in the moods for your games" She said, her accent coming out as she looked down at me as if i was a mere pet to her.

" takes a bitch to know o-" Again i couldnt get a word out, Shuri would let go of my throat and jaw flipping me over to where im on my stomach.

She got ontop of me whispering in my ear. "give me your verbal consent and ill pleasure you better then no woman can. ill have you wishing you were mine. ill even have you knowing who this pussy belongs to yeah?" She said in my ear, her accent turning me on. I'd nod and she yanked my hair back causing me to look up "Verbal.

I don't do that nodding shit." she said spitting venom at me “ Y-yes..” I whimpered out “yes what? Am i gonna have to teach you proper manners?” She said tilting her head, id only know this from the mirror she's forcing me to look at. “Yes mommy,” I said the shame leaving my body.

“atta girl. I wanna try somethin’ new” she unhooked my bra with one hand “sit up.im gonna get something right quick.” You sat up, your body acting against you once more.

You heard the Drawer open, looking at the stuff shuri pulled out, yet her back was blocking you from seeing, she left the room coming back with a clean strap on, rope and a blindfold.

“Shuri i dont thi- “i know you dont think, speak when youre told to.” She said

Tying you up making sure all you could move was your lower half.

Shuri blindfolded you tying it around you,you felt something graze against your skin, something sharp, you were scared yet aroused. "I dont get it Sthandwa.(my love) you know damn well im better than every bitch you could be with" she said, her eyes following your body. "You trying to make me jealous with Riri is crazy. You know damn well that girl cant do what i do." she kissed down your body, you felt the pretty marks she left.

"You aint catch what i said last time.." she whispered in your ear biting it gently, she left kisses and hickeys everywhere, every corner and area was covered.

she pulled me closer to her, flipping me onto my back facing her. i kicked her back putting up a challenge, she moved catching my leg. " i hope you dont fight this messy, you'd get your ass beat baby" she went to my wet pussy putting two fingers in, slowly thrusting them, I arched my back moaning, the way she thrusted and curled them made eyes roll back.

The squelching was heard causing Shuri to give a seductive 'mmh.' in response, she thrusted faster causing me to rock my hips with the thrusts my eyes watering , "ffuck im gonna cum soon Shurii.." Y/n moaned.

Shuri stopped towering over y/n, a frown over her face "Forget the name you know me by." Shuri demanded " when im pleasuring you, when im making love you, you will adress me as Ma'am, mommy, daddy wtv." She stared at me, you knew what she wants you to say, you dont wanna say it though. and yet my body yearns for her touch"Please Mommy . please can i cum from your fingers?" you whined out for her, soon enough she inserted her cold fingers back into your pussy abusing your G spot.

You arched your back to gour best abilities, unable to do it as well as you wanted due to the velvet ropes on your your body.

Your fluids went all over her fingers, you panted as your chest heaved up and down "mmh you look so pretty right now" shuri coo's tracing my figure with her knife.

" i dont 'preciate you kissin on other women baby." she frowned mocking me.

HOURS LATER.

You were shaking, your fluids dripping down youd legs after youve been edged so much. you could barely even think about anything, your words slurred as you were a moaning mess.

Shuri turned off the vibrator as soon as you were so close to cumming.

"now who are you thinking of hm? is it me? Sthandwa" (my love) she smiled at you, gently caressing your face.

"My brain is only full of you Mommy, please,I wanna cum" you begged and whined grinding against nothing, your fluids leakinf on her silky white sheets.

Her strap teased your folds as you whined "say the magic words." She said with a chuckle. "please fuck me, I deserve it, I deserve it so much" you wanted to reach for her but you couldn't, maybe if you weren't bratting, you wouldn't be tied up.

Shuri entered you slowly causing you to bite your lips, “it hhurts dont mmove” you whinced in pain “ ‘s okay baby, tell me when i can. Ill be gentle with you , for a short amount if time of course” she said, after a while the pain was gone “ you can move now i promise” you said nodding .

She thrusted slowly inside of me. Keeping the Rythm, she knew what she was doing, You wiggled in your restraints wanting to touch and hold her desperately.

“ Aww y/n wanna touch? Too bad. Maybe if you kept your lips to yourself this wouldn't have happened” she hissed out, she thrusted faster pleasuring you, her fingers circling your clit.

Your stomach turned into a knot as you bit your lips moaning louder, your sweet moans echoing throughout the house.

“Gonna cum again baby? Go ahead, ill let you ride your high” she set faster turning your brain into mush, you squirted uncontrollably as you twitched, panting,your senses were so overstimulated yet so deprived.

Shuri untied you ,gently removing your blindfolds,she picked you up carying you to the bathroom sitting you in the bathtub, once the bath was full, and (y/f/c) with (f/f) petals in it thanks to shuri.

“mmh. That was... A new experience” Y/n said sinking into the tub,”why dont you get in shuri, its big enough for two of us.” You said with a tired smile.

“Mmm.. Nah im good, jus’ let me take care of you ma” Shuri said dismissing the idea of being taken care of. “Mmm please mommy?” you said smiling .

“ Le intombazana izoba kukufa kwam.” she said looking up to any god that was left to help her. (This girl will be the death of me ) she undressed what left she had on, getting in.

LATER.

The two girls laid in bed together cuddled upon eachother, ofc y/n was the little spoon.

“Why cant i have you?” Y/n said looking up at shuri, she yawned trying to keep her eyes open. “ were both not ready yet. “ shuri said kissing my head. “Shit we havent had an actual kiss yet and you want us to- You interrupted her by kissing her passionately on her lips. Shuri kissed back moving y/n to ontop of her.

“Y/n if you want me take your time with yourself and me. Do you even know if you like me?” Shuri said, pulling y/n close and hugging her.

“I dont know... I dont even know what liking feels like.. Im too tired to think right now...” y/n said falling asleep.

shuri looked at her shaking her head.

“I'll give you all the time in the world.” shuri kissed her head before shutting her eyes.

[mod2amaryllis]

*slams table* that's it i'm posting nope thoughts

listen i'm not smart i'm not gonna talk about this like a smart person i'm gonna rant about it like the buzzy shell this movie left me

THIS MOVIE IS AS MUCH ABOUT GORDY AS IT IS ABOUT JEAN JACKET AND ALL THE ADULTS I SEE ACTING CONFUSED ABOUT THE WAY THEY WEAVE TOGETHER ARE KILLING MEEEEEEEE the existence of gordy's tragedy grounds the story in reality in a fucking harrowing way, chimps Have Done This, in Real Life, and they are From This Planet.

that said..................i'mgonnamostlytalkaboutjeanjacketok

stupidest take i've seen today is that OJ actually died and the shot at the end was Em's desperate imagination. fuck off no no you don't know how to watch movies you only know how to write messed up grimdark theories. NO. OJ's finally confrontation with Jean Jacket demonstrated how his knowledge of animal handling was so much more comprehensive than anyone else's, and that he and Em CAN live up to and even exceed the legacy of their family.

because Jean Jacket is written as a predatory animal, that's how OJ describes it. and we realize that avoiding eye contact is one way to keep yourself safe, but that way IS NOT A GUARANTEE, it absolutely would've slurped OJ and Lucky if not for the flag decoy. so knowing animals, knowing predators, knowing territorial behaviors, there is another way to handle a predator. the most dangerous way. which is showing absolute, inarguable control in the face of it. meeting its eyes and convincing it you are the bigger animal. dominating it.

when beautiful, terrible Jean Jacket unfurled and opened its REAL eye and flash flash flashed at OJ, instantly, INSTANTLY, i was like "that's a threat display." right??? am i wrong??? why else would it go so extra when it had been wrecking shop just fine as a saucer?? that was a threat display, Jean Jacket made itself as big as possible in the face of OJ, despite being totally capable of sucking him up at any time.

and finally, OJ looked right back. totally calm, totally motionless, totally prepared to die for his sister. at one point he says "if it's an animal it can be broken" because horses are territorial, horses are massive, horses are tough, and handling them is his craft. he was DOMINATINGGGG

for gordy, there were implied to be no animal handlers on set. there was no one who knew what to do. Jupe is not an animal handler, he's an actor with notions of being "chosen" to live and connect with these predators who appear to spare him. he survived a tragedy and profited off that spectacle his whole life. that doesn't mean he deserved his fate but that's the thing it's not about deserving it's not about being chosen it's not about fate it's about ANIMALS.

and ultimately, the only people who could exert any level of control over Jean Jacket were the financially struggling, less than glamorous, disrespected mother fucking animal handlers!!!!!!!!!!!!

[skullcfusher]

Ok guys I tried 2 hold back but too bad I'm posting headcanons🙌

I am going to tell u about Kate and Toby cause I love them ok. They are soooo sibling guys plz they play fight like hell and argue like siblings and they do shit for each other like siblings ok I DON'T MAKE THE RULES (I did actually.)

So with the small stupid comic I posted yesterday if u can even call it that, I think Tim owns this truck right and it's a beat up 2 seater ok and Tim drives and Brian is the passenger princess and then Toby and Kate are the two freaks who have to sit in the actual truck bed and they are actually so funny back there. I think Toby is actually a smart guy he just doesn't show it well okay because look at him, and Kate didn't even finish middle school cause she was RLLY young when slender got to her and so she's just actually not the sharpest tool in the shed okay she's a creature and I like to think Toby teaches her stuff so like imagine they are in the truck bed ok "Kate.. Kate.. Kate dude.." "Toby shh.. shut tf up" "no Kate dude look.. look at that caterpillar it's really cool it's actual-" "I don't care about that Toby shut up" and he's like "Ohhh okay so god forbid I try to teach you smth." And she's like "Shut up before I push you out of the truck" and he's like "Omfg fine good maybe I'll die this time and you'll be stuck doing a mission with Tim and Brian ALONE you freak" and they just continue to bicker. Tim and Brian don't really like Kate they think she's a monster and don't like her cause in my mind she's the person who tormented them and brought them to Slender's doorstep basically and so they just rlly don't like her LMFAO and I don't blame them either but Kate doesn't really talk to people until Mr. Tobias comes around ok like she lives in those dirty ass mines and hasn't changed her clothes like ever ok so Toby shows up and is like damn bitch you live like this!?? And he immediately starts giving her stuff like clothes he can't fit anymore, maybe a mattress and lots of food and just random shit to do, he convinces her to come around to the proxy cabin more and more and smth I thought would be funny is if Tim and Brian come home from whatever and they just see Kate munchin on a sandwich like it's the best shit she's ever had in her life (it probably is) and Toby is just chillin with her and Tim and Brian are like "what the fuck get out?? Why is she here??" And Toby is like "Dude relaaaax she's not even doing anything" and Kate gives ZERO fucks LMFAO SHE'S LOVING THAT SANDWICH SOO MUCH SHE DOESN'T CARE WHAT'S GOING ON AROUND HER LMFAO. Following proxy shenanigans I like to think Kate and Toby wrestle a lot, you can't put a boy who can't feel pain and a really strong girl next to each other and be best friends and them not fuckin duke it out ok I like to think Nina visits the cabin one day and she opens the door and sees Toby fly over the couch and watch Kate jump after him and they are Rollin around on the ground fighting and Nina is like freaking out "OH MY GOD R U GUYS OK IS THIS THE VIOLENT SLENDER SICKNESS Y'ALL TALK AB" and they stop and look at her like ??? Huh CAUSE TO THEM THEY ARE JUST PLAYIN (I don't blame Nina either like Toby's bleeding from his nose and Kate has a busted lip LMFAOA and they've got like scratches all over)

Ok so I wanna touch on angst cause it's not head cannons unless we're kinda sad actually so like Slender def punishes his proxies ok like when they do smth wrong like fuckin up a mission or like commiting friendly fire on another proxy, so when Kate gets punished I like to think Toby will sit with her and hold onto her while she's freaking out cause it's not just like ohh she's kinda sick no like her fingernails tore off from her tearing at the ground she's screaming until her vocal cords can't make anymore noise she's losing it and Toby sits with her like if she just needs smth to lean on, if she needs something to grab or even something to hurt he's holding onto her like she's gonna die like he already lost one sister ok he's not losing this one too LMFAO and then after it passes I like to think he bandages up her hands, similar to how Toby's mom used to bandage his hands after he chewed his skin off yk?? Ok that's all for this post perhaps goodnight fellas

[olderthannetfic]

/724781513472868352 I resonate with this on a deep level. I get told at college all the time that I don't look LGBT+ (they refuse to say queer, respectability politics is a helleva drug), I don't act it, no queer person is into my major or my hobbies, and it's weird that I'm queer but not into astrology or dressing more aesthetically ("are you a cottagecore or a dark academia gay?" I'm neither I'm a me) or playing Pokemon because outgrowing Pokemon is for cishets. People talk about gays/LGBT+ not being able to drive or do math or sit normally and then act like I'm some kind of ridiculous weirdo for not laughing at what they assure me is a true statement that does not apply to them or to me. People encourage me to experiment with my style or hair and "come out of your shell". I am informed I need to listen to certain musicians because all LGBT+ people are into them. It's weird that I'm not. It's even weirder I don't like The Owl House or hate Steven Universe or keep up with Heartstopper like the good queers do.

Basically it all boils down to, "Why can't you be more normal? Why can't you be like us?"

Because I'm not. My dad is a Pashtun Muslim and my mother is a Bukharan Jew. I have lived in the Deep South half my life and Wyoming the other half. My media interests are unrelated to queer rep and wholly based on liking the plots of things. I grew up on oldies and TV shows like Starsky and Hutch that my parents loved, pirated and played on repeat. I don't believe in astrology, I'm not a witch and I'm not an atheist with a Christocentric worldview who assumes all religions are Christianity Lite. I don't listen to the correct musicians mostly because I discover music entirely by accident and have a mishmash of genres and bands in rotation. Pokemon fell off and I'm not into it. I would sooner die than dye my Pashtun red hair that people made fun of me for as a kid. I like wearing button downs, clean shirts, nice jeans and my Magen David. None of this is incompatible with being queer. No one is going to kick me out of a gay club for not having played Pokemon Violet or listening to Tracy Chapman or trusting in science over crystals for healing.

And I really hate that after years of being avoided and pitied in high school by jackass backwards rednecks for being weird, I got to my dream university, the university in the most liberal city in Montana, and get the same fucking treatment.

Commenters like the one anon mentioned remind me of all the people who act like I'm doing it wrong. What is 'it', in that sentence? Living my life. Being queer. And when it crops in fandom - and I've gotten it sometimes for writing queer characters who are like me, Southern and into uncool shit and not sharp dressers and religious - it just makes me want to start screaming.

I am queer. I am not incorrectly queer. I am who I am and therefore, because I am queer, that is a correct way to do queerness.

Some gripes about Gen Z are overblown but this weirdly narrow view of what queerness is allowed to look like or be is 100% as awful as other generations say it is and it's fucking exhausting to live through. I don't have to sit differently in order to be doing queerness right or be unable to drive. I exist and I am queer and that is all I need to do and be.

I wish fandom was different from real life. I wish it was more open to the reality that queer people have a multitude of backgrounds and lived experiences. We're facing enough shit IRL, can't we just have one place where we're NICE to each other?

--

As a 40+ queer, I'm laughing myself sick at the current crop of "required" queer interests.

In my day, it was oldschool cis gay male culture for the men (think being obsessed with Bette Davis) and But I'm a Cheerleader and Dykes to Watch Out For for the women or something.

Not that you have to like any of those things either. It's just hilarious how clueless people are about what's a temporary trend that will probably be different in 5 years.

[presidentofthelipglossclub]

rescue bots incorrect quotes teehee

Optimus: Please explain what upsexy is!

Blades: Could you rephrase that in like, two words maybe?

Boulder, wiping tears from his eyes: If you love someone, set them free. If they come back, it's meant to be...

Heatwave: I'm literally just going to the store.

Chase: Jail is no fun. I'll tell you that much.

Bumblebee: Oh, you've been?

Chase: Once. In Monopoly.

Heatwave: But when all hope seemed lost, I had an epiphany!

Heatwave, earlier: I'm going to throw myself into the sea.

Quickshadow: Happy Throwback Thursday! Here's a throwback to when Blurr ate an entire tube of lipstick.

Blurr, whining: But why would it be cherry flavored if you can't eat it!?

Boulder: Anybody got any crayons so I can color in my Ph.D?

Optimus: Is there something you would like to say, Hightide?

Hightide: Oh there are SEVERAL things I would like to say.

Heatwave, texting Chase: Any plans for tonight?

Chase: No.

Heatwave: Loser.

Boulder: Help! I'm drowning!

Optimus: Calm down. We're only in six feet of water!

Boulder: NOT ALL OF US ARE TALL!

Blades, to Blurr: Are you peanuts? Because I want to boil you alive.

Heatwave: I wish I could control wasps and bees to sting my enemies.

Optimus: You're too young to have enemies.

Heatwave: You don't even know.

*Out grocery shopping*

Chase: *Takes a free sample twice*

Chase: Robbery and Fraud. I am a Rebel.

Salvage, texting: Hi, who's this? Blades changed all of my contacts to mythical creatures.

Blurr: What's mine?

Salvage: Dwarf.

Blurr: HE'S SO MEAN, I'M NOT THAT SHORT!

Salvage: Oh hey Blurr.

Blurr: FUCK!

Blades: I eat cheerios because they're heart healthy!

Blades: And my heart has been severely damaged. So Bumblebee if you're out there--

Blurr: I was just diagnosed with deez.

Heatwave: Good, I hope it's lethal.

Optimus: Do you cook?

Chase: I made a cake once.

Heatwave: Yeah, it was good.

Chase: Really?

Heatwave: Don't make me lie twice, Chase.

Bumblebee: ...This is one of those moments where it doesn't really matter what I have to say, isn't it?

*The rescue bots all nod unanimously*

Blades: Boulder, you look deep in thought. What's wrong?

Boulder: Did you know you can look at any object and know what it's like to lick it? Even if you've never touched it before?

Blades: I'm never asking you anything ever again.

Quickshadow: Who would you swipe right for? Blurr or Salvage?

Hightide: I would delete the app.

Heatwave: We're about to do the taser challenge. You want in?

Chase: What's the taser challenge?

Blades: We tase each other, then drink.

Chase: How do you win?

Heatwave: What are you, a lawyer? You want in or not?

Optimus: We will discuss this later.

Hightide: Fine, I won't be listening.

Boulder: What, I can't be in a bad mood? It's like people think "Oh, Boulder is such a nice person, Boulder is so happy-go-lucky! Boulder can't be in a bad mood!" Well, you know what? Boulder CAN be in a bad mood. And right now, Boulder IS be in a bad mood.

Heatwave: Thanks for not telling Optimus what happened.

Bumblebee, dumbfounded: I wouldn't even know where to begin trying to explain this.

Chase: Blades, you need to react when people cry.

Blades: I did. I rolled my eyes.

Quickshadow: If I make you breakfast in bed, a simple "thank you" is all I need.

Quickshadow: Not all this "how did you get into my house" business.

Blades, texting: Hey.

Chase: Hey?

Blades: I can't sleep. :/

Chase: I can. Goodnight.

Heatwave: Die.

Boulder: Please don't die!

Heatwave: DIE!

Boulder: PLEASE DON'T DIE!

Blades, confused: Why are they yelling at a plant?

Chase, watching while eating popcorn: They bought it together and Boulder wants Heatwave to accept it as their child.

Quickshadow: Can you keep a secret?

Hightide: Do you know anything about my life?

Quickshadow: No, I don't. Good point.

Boulder: Don't quote me on this, but I believe murder is illegal!

Chase, opening a Capri Sun: Guess I'll just drink my sorrows away.

Blades: Be right back, gonna hit the toilet for a quick power sob.

Heatwave: And I'd love to be sorry for that, but we all know I've done much, much worse.

i'll probably reblog this with more later. maybe those will include the humans as well (don't get your hopes up).

[planet-dusk]

of cats 'n' dogs // l.mh

all you want for christmas is to try your hand at taking control in bed. you didn't think your unwavering boyfriend would agree; but what he didn't expect was to enjoy it this much.

⛓️ PAIRING :: lee minho x f!reader

⛓️ GENRE :: smut

⛓️ WORD COUNT :: 2.2k

⛓️ WARNINGS :: dom!minho tries subbing, bratty sub!minho, soft dom!mc, praise, bondage, oral (m + f), edging, unprotected sex, cum eating, descriptions of subspace

⛓️ NOTE :: 18+ minors dni. the characters don't represent real people. this is fiction for entertainment purposes only. don't edit, copy, repost or otherwise steal my content.

📍 skz masterlist

“Stop teasing," Minho groans when you lick a wet stripe from his navel to the waistband of his shorts. 

"Why? You told me I could do anything I want today, kitten." 

He rolls his eyes at the pet name but you notice the way the tips of his ears turn red. Normally, you’d be in his position: strapped to the bed and at his mercy. He’s always been the dominant person in your relationship (at least between the sheets) so you aren’t expecting him to give in without a fight. He might’ve agreed to this but that doesn’t mean he’s going to offer himself to you on a silver platter. 

And if he thinks you don’t have it in you? Then he’s dead wrong. And you’re determined to prove it. 

“Either way you don’t have much of a say in this. Unless you want to use your safeword?” 

Minho rolls his eyes again. “Continue.”

You ignore his command, moving back up his torso to swirl your tongue around one of his nipples. 

“What are you—ah!—doing?” He kicks his head back when you tug the sensitive bud between your teeth. 

“I thought you’d have more self control than this.” 

“And I thought you’d be all over my cock by now.”

You grin and palm him through his shorts, delighted by the way his eyes widen. “You’re liking this a little too much, aren’t you?” 

“Just a compulsory physical reaction. You’re near me, I get hard.” He shrugs. “Pavlov.”

“I’m sure those dogs were better at following orders, though.”

He grimaces. “Less talking and more—” he gasps when you squeeze his cock again, “—of that.” 

“Hmm, love it when you beg.”

“I didn’t—”

The words die on his tongue when you wrap your lips around his clothed length, mouthing at the head. You can faintly taste the precum that’s wetting the fabric of his shorts. You’ve been teasing him for nearly an hour now, never touching him below the belt. He must be so hard it’s starting to hurt; his heightened senses send in overdrive by the sudden contact even with the layer of cotton in between. 

You might’ve teased him about his self control earlier but you’re impressed by how long he’s holding out. He’s right; if the roles were reversed you would’ve started begging for his cock a long time ago. The only thing keeping you from straddling him right now is your conviction. You’re thankful he’s restrained so he can’t feel or see the wetness pooling between your thighs. 

You’re starting to understand why he enjoys being a dom this much.

You trace the outline of his erection with your tongue until the fabric is soaked with spit. Minho’s tugging at his cuffs, clearly affected even if he tries his hardest to hold back his moans. 

“Just—fuck.” He sounds exasperated now. “Just touch me.”

“I’m touching you.”

You suck a dark bruise into his thigh. They’re so big and strong you wouldn’t mind spending the rest of the day between them. Looking up at him with innocent eyes, the scowl you receive in return communicates something along the lines of you know what I mean. 

“I’ll take them off when you’re a good boy. Behave.” 

“So I really am the dog in this little experiment of yours, aren’t I.”

“I liked calling you kitten but I suppose pup could work.” You trace the muscles in his thigh with one hand before giving the flesh a harsh slap, making him yelp. You watch it jiggle while his cock twitches at the same time. Another tiny crack in his demeanor you file away for later. “Now are you gonna comply or do I have to put a muzzle on you?”

“Fine,” he mutters. He stares at the ceiling as if he’s never seen a more interesting surface before. 

You halt, suddenly unsure of what to do. Did he really give in? Or is this another scheme of his? 

“Well?” He squints down at you. “Cat got your tongue?”

And just like that he’s flipping the script again. You mentally scold yourself for hesitating. It feels like he’s always one step ahead of you. You’re inexperienced when it comes to playing this role and he knows it. 

You need a more direct approach. 

“No cats here.” You make a show of sticking your tongue out as far as you can, dragging it over his thigh. “The dog may get one more chance, though.” You suck another bruise into his skin before pulling back. “If he stops barking.”

“And what if he doesn’t?” 

You ignore him, no longer feeling like giving in to his endless quips. You can almost hear the cogs turning inside his head as he tries to figure out your next move. 

From the way he moans when you suddenly wrap your lips around his clothed cock and bite down, this wasn’t what he was anticipating. 

“I’ve changed my mind. Let me hear you.”

Your fingers tug at the waistband of his shorts while you mouth at his tip. He whimpers louder and you reward him by dragging his shorts down his thighs until his cock springs free. 

It seems your intent has finally caught on because the high-pitched, whiny sound he makes when you tongue at his slit is nothing short of sinful. You kitten-lick his swollen head and swipe your tongue along his shaft from base to tip with long strokes. He chases your mouth with his hips as much as the cuffs around his ankles and wrists allow, clearly vexed by not being able to set the pace or touch you. 

“You’re doing so well,” you coo, cupping his balls. “Such a good little pup.” 

His squirming stills and you look up to find his cheeks flushing a deep red. 

Of course. Praise. After all the times he got flustered when on the receiving end of a compliment you should’ve known it would translate to the bedroom as well. But when he’s in his usual dom persona there aren’t many chances for you to praise him until after the act. 

You smirk and stroke his cock slowly. “Oh, so that’s what the big bad wolf likes? Being a cute needy pup for me?”

Minho is watching the ceiling again. “Maybe I just want to cum.” 

“Don’t you wanna be good for me, baby?” you murmur as you collect his precum with your thumb to spread it over his velvety skin. “Keep being such a good boy and I’ll ride you, might even let you fill me up, how does that sound?”

Careful not to hurt him you suck on his balls, taking them into your mouth while your hand slides along his cock. He’s more vocal now; letting out low groans and high-pitched whimpers when you press your tongue against his perineum. 

“That’s it, you sound so pretty like this.” Your grip around his length tightens when you see how responsive he is. “You’re beautiful. My Christmas present. I’ve always wanted a puppy,” you tease while your other hand circles his rim. 

It’s true. And with his hair mussed, cheeks flushed and skin covered in bite marks he looks absolutely delectable. His cock feels heavy in your fist and you can’t wait to sink down on it. You have to press your thighs together to find some relief for the ache between your legs. 

“I’m gonna—fuck—” Minho croaks suddenly and you let go of his cock, watching it twitch against his stomach as his impending orgasm recedes. His head falls back against the pillow. “I was so close.” His eyes squeeze shut when you slip out of your panties and straddle him, dragging your wet cunt over his swollen cock. “Ahh—please—”

“What did you say, pup?” You cup his cheek. “I can’t hear you.”

“Please, no more teasing,” he pleads. You recognize the glassy look in his eyes. It’s the same look you see reflected back at you in the mirror after he’s had his way with you. “I’ll be good, I—” 

He tugs at the cuffs in frustration, unable to form words. You bend over to press a kiss to his mouth. His bottom lip is swollen from his teeth clamping down on it repeatedly. “Shh, gonna give my pup what he wants, okay? You’ve been so good. Gonna take care of you now, don’t worry.”

You moan in unison when you finally sink down on his cock, his hips flush against your ass. Even without prep there is no resistance; your body has been craving this ever since you stepped into bed. 

“You feel so good,” you whisper against his lips. “Pup’s got such a big cock, stretching me out so well. Never wanna get off. Want you inside of me all the time.” 

Minho has never felt this floaty. There’s a static buzz in his ears as his entire world shrinks down to your voice and the feeling of your warm walls wrapped around him. 

The meek whimpers he lets out at your words are addicting. His eyes roll back when you start grinding your hips in slow circles, your clit rubbing against his pelvic bone. “Look down. Look at how well you fill me up.”

He does as you say, captivated by your pussy sucking in his cock as you start bouncing on it. After getting so close earlier you know he won’t last long if you keep riding him like this. And since you’re not used to him being restrained you miss the feeling of his hands on your body. 

“Listen, pup.” His eyes snap up to yours, big and round and pupils blown so wide nearly all you can see is black. “I’m gonna untie you and then you’re gonna make me cum on your pretty cock like a good boy, okay?”

He nods, whining when you get off to loosen the cuffs. You press a quick kiss to his lips. You didn’t expect him to become this non-verbal after his initial mouthiness. You’re so accustomed to his constant witty remarks (both in and outside of the bedroom) this sudden change in demeanor is worrying you a little. 

“Everything okay, pup?” you ask, massaging his wrists. “Color?”

“Green,” he answers, kicking off his shorts. “It’s… going to be a lot to process, but I feel good. I trust you.”

You smile and press another kiss to his lips.

“It’ll be yellow if I don’t get to cum soon, though.”

You laugh at his cheeky grin. It’s good to see his wittiness is still intact. 

“Watch your tone, pup. Or I’ll cuff your hands behind your back and make you eat me out for another hour.”

Minho groans. “I’ll take all the pussy I can get.”

“So desperate,” you recline against the sheets and guide his cock between your legs. “I like it.”

He follows you without a word, closing his eyes when he sinks back between your velvety walls. You feel so wet and warm around him he has to use all his strength to keep himself from blowing his load as soon as he starts moving. His head drops into the crook of your neck and you wrap your arms around his shoulders. 

“Who would’ve thought my fierce kitty could be such a good pup?” you hum into his ear. He likes to pretend otherwise even though he’s never been anything but soft. So all of this doesn’t really come as a surprise, but you revel in the way your words make his hips stutter. 

“And good pups deserve a reward.” You tug his earlobe between your teeth. It earns a low groan from him. “Do you want to choose yours?” 

Minho can feel himself slipping away again. He leans back and his unfocused eyes take you in. “Wanna fill you up…” he trails off, searching for the right words. “And eat you out after.” 

“You don’t have to—” you start but he cuts you off. He grabs your hips and tilts them so he can thrust into you deeper. The new angle has the head of his cock brushing against your most sensitive spot and you moan at the sudden pleasure flooding your body. It’s only a taste of what he can do but it feels fucking delicious already. 

“I want to,” he assures. “Let me make you feel good, wanna cum, please—”

You’ve never seen him this desperate before. His brows are tightly knit together. His voice is wavering. You realize he’s waiting for your approval—no doubt using all his willpower to keep himself from reaching his high while your tight hole clenches around his cock. The knowledge he’s handing this power to you is almost enough to send you over the edge. 

“Cum for me, pup,” you order and he does so with a sob, spilling his warm seed inside of you with a few short strokes. He stays there for a moment, trembling as you wrap your arms around him and kiss his temple. You let him catch his breath until he wriggles himself out of your hold to settle between your spread thighs. 

You feel his cum dribble out of you until it’s intercepted by his flat tongue sweeping through your folds. You whimper when he sucks on your clit and pushes his face closer into your cunt. 

“I’ll be your good pup,” he grins while he sinks two of his fingers into your hole, “then you can be my kitten again.”

[january-summers]

Sometimes I think about whether or not Washington has ever accidentally called Caboose "Iowa."

Maybe that's the thing that finally made Caboose stop calling Wash "Church."

(Chucking the back end of this under the cut because it ended up a little shy of 1,000 words in total. Sorry this took off as I was typing. not beta'd, I die like CT: unfairly)

On one of those days before they got Epsilon back, when Wash was still walking around with cobalt armour, having one of his bad days where looking in the mirror is hard because he's not sure whose face should be looking back even though he knows, he knows he knows he's Washington.

(He can't explain it, it's like the way lightheadedness isn't really a dizzy spell. He doesn't lose his sense of identity, it just... gets a little crumpled.)

Caboose accidentally blows up one of their vehicles and Wash snorts.

"That's coming out of your paycheck, Iowa!" He calls out, and Tucker turns to him with his head cocked.

"The fuck is Iowa?"

"What?"

"'Iowa,'" Tucker repeats, "you just said 'that's coming out of your paycheck, Iowa.'"

Inside his helmet Wash closes his eyes, sighs, and whispers a heartfelt 'fuck.' Then, "A Freelancer, he was... a lot like Caboose. I just... forgot for a second."

Tucker just makes a 'huh' in response, and Wash feels tragically grateful the other man is dropping the issue.

But it happens again.

Not 'Iowa' this time though, but 'Mike.'

Wash is sitting in the base's main work area, because they have no office, or they do, technically but it's... uh... better not to talk about why it's not in use because they all agreed it was no one's fault.

He's filling out the paperwork, trying to figure out how anyone gets anything done with the UNSC requisition forms, he swears they weren't this convoluted or nonsensical before he was discharged.

Or maybe sim troopers get fucked up forms on purpose?

He'd taken his helmet off over an hour ago so he could rub the bridge of his nose and his temples in an effort to stave off the headache that's been coming for his brain. They don't have enough painkillers to waste on a headache if one of them gets seriously injured before the next shipment.

There's a movement of blue in his peripheral vision, a familiar dark blue, and a familiar voice saying "I brought you hot chocolate!"

"Thanks, Mike," Washington says not really paying attention.

"It's Michael," comes the reply, the correction. And Wash blinks and looks up at Caboose not Iowa.

"Right, Michael, sorry."

But Caboose doesn't seem upset, just hums in acknowledgement and wonders off. Wash is dazed as he watches him leave. He spots Tucker leaning against the wall slowly sipping from a mug, watching Wash.

Tucker gestures at Wash's mug with his own, "I wouldn't drink that if I were you, but if you're going to throw it out, don't do it where he'll see it. He'll throw a tantrum."

"Uhhhh, right." Wash goes back to his paperwork. Tucker stays where he is, so he's there ten minutes later when Wash's brain cycles information in the background. 'Beverage container in proximity: hydrate'

"SPFFFF! WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT!?!?!?" Tucker doesn't stop laughing the entire time Wash is gagging and trying to get the residue out of his mouth.

Wash doesn't always notice when he calls Caboose by the wrong name, and continues to be grateful no one calls him on it.

But Caboose gets quieter and quieter, not his speaking volume, but his entire personality. He's less and less present around Wash. So Wash goes looking.

Finds Caboose surrounded by bits and parts of machines, just sitting, a tool held loosely in one hand. Bio-signs indicate he's awake in Wash's HUD.

'Spaced out,' Wash assumes, and calls out. "Hey, Caboose."

Caboose startles, just a little flinch. "Yes, I am Caboose."

His voice is loud, his voice is often loud, but the way it's loud... Wash understands why he keeps confusing Caboose and Iowa.

"Mind if I sit?" Wash asks, and waits for the nod before settling himself. "I'm sorry I keep confusing you for Agent Iowa. I know you're not him, I'm not doing it on purpose, I swear."

Caboose doesn't answer, just sits and watches Wash quietly for several minutes.

"He was my friend," Wash ventures, and isn't rebuffed so he keeps talking. "You remind me a lot of him, you both wear the same blue, you're both very upbeat people, you're both-" 'brain damaged and loud and not always able to communicate the way I suspect you want to,' Wash doesn't say. "- my friends. He went away, a long time ago now, him and Ohio and Idaho. I never found out where they went, they were just... gone one day. We were supposed to eat lunch together, but they were all just gone."

Wash doesn't know how to explain what Epsilon did to him, how his memory, one of his greatest strengths had become his own enemy for a time. How somedays it still felt like it was trying to fight him. The echo Epsilon left behind.

He doesn't want to. It feels like an excuse for his own failings.

"I know you aren't Church," Caboose says suddenly instead. "But you are a good Church, not the Best Church, but a good Church. Except when you aren't. You are the best Agent Washingtub though."

Wash... thinks he gets what Caboose is saying, or what he hopes he's saying, because he'd been really concerned Caboose hadn't understood that Wash wasn't Church, he was just pretending to be for the time being.

"Thanks, Caboose. And you are the best very Caboose, ever. Of all time."

"I am," Caboose agrees. Readily. Happily.

Wash tries to be more mindful, and as the days pass, Caboose becomes more familiar than the memory of Iowa to him, and he calls his teammate by the wrong name less and less and then not at all.

He notices too, while Caboose doesn't stop calling him Church, sometimes Caboose calls him Agent Washingtub too. And then he starts calling him Washington.

Tucker starts to call him Wash. Stops watching him like he's about to snap and kill them.

It's nice.

Unlike the requisition forms.