#your cousin throckmorton

[theburninggalaxy]

I HAVE MADE A DISCOVERY. MY PHYSICS TEXTBOOK IS THE FUCKING THROCKMORTON ONE

AND THE CRIME IS THAT THERE ARE 8 MENTIONS OF HIM AND PEOPLE ONLY EVER MENTION ONE

[whydousernamesevenexist]

Guys even Lovecraft knew of your cousin Throckmorton

[wiltingwoods]

I hear your “the second coming is going to be Steezus Christ” I raise you: the second coming is going to be your cousin Throckmorton

[raeloganthesonic06fangirl]

THROCKMORTON???

[valkyricarts]

Im at work and we have an order from someone named Throckmorton.... He's real....

[shesacritter]

I think I found a new "your cousin Throckmorton" in my social work textbook. Ms. Foruitous Crunk, mother of four.

[spec-squared]

I love when textbooks try to throw in big names to 'get with the times' and grab the readers' attention, because you end up with sentences like this lmao:

"Bacardi Company established a $150 petty cash fund with Eminem as the petty cashier."

[mumipokaa]

Okay so I was looking up stuff about ‘your cousin throckmorton’ because I’m an idiot right and I’ve seen stuff about it before and I wanted the full context but you’re telling me this WHOLE TIME throckmorton was just. Some guy and NOT a big orc who could skateboard??? Unbelievable. I thought you guys had this

[lordgrimwing]

What would happen if someone ate/swallowed a silmaril? Like obv it would probably kill a Fëanorion, but I feel like it could be a keep-away strategy???

Thanks for posing this interesting scenario. Silmarils are very complex and since we do not know what they are made of and how that might interact with the insides of a body, we should simplify them to a model that we do understand. Pretend a Silmaril is a lithium disk battery.

One of two things is likely to happen:

1. The person who swallows the Silmaril is on the Valar's Do Not Trust list (which includes all mortals, apparently) and thus burns up from the hallowed light. We know this by extrapolating from multiple accounts in the Silmarillion where someone is burned from merely touching the Silmarils or the case they are in. Truly, a terrible way to end one's days. - as you pointed out, this would be the fate of the Fëanorians, should they try to have their cake and eat it too, as it were.

2. The person is not on the Do Not Trust list. Here that modeling of the Silmarils as lithium disk battery comes into play. See, like a battery, the Silmarils are filled with energy waiting to burst forth, and like a lithium disk battery, Silmarils will transmit and amplify the 'good' energy of whoever they are in contact with (part of why a Silmaril makes for excellent jewelry). This is fine when they are used on the outside of the body, but when placed inside the body (say, in the stomach after being swallowed) where they are surrounded by that energy things get out of hand. A dangerous cycle begins where the Silmarils receive energy from the body, transmits it back, and then the body has even more energy to give it. Much as with a lithium disk battery, that energy will continue to grow until the unfortunate person is cooked from the inside out.

I'm sorry to say this, but eating a Silmaril is likely not a viable strategy. Sure, the person won't have to deal with the Sons of Fëanor but they likely won't live long enough to appreciate that.

The Silmarils: Forbidden Rock Candy

P.S. there is a small chance that someone is just good enough to avoid being burned because of the hallowing but not so good as to have much light to reflect back to the Silmaril. In this case they may survive eating a Silmaril with little consequence, but I would not want to stake my life on my ability to toe the line between the Valar's perception of good and bad.

[britneyshakespeare]

my cousin throckmorton???????

[eatmarcus]

CRYING THEY FOUND THROCKMORTON

[hauntingblue]

Flint laughing saying they trust silver to not steal the cache akdhaksjakak

[incognitopolls]

We ask your questions so you don’t have to! Submit your questions to have them posted anonymously as polls.

[toastymangoes]

i think everyone has their own version of who let the dogs out

[lumentears]

🦴 boningthescions-bracket Follow

Preliminary Round! Who will be the Third's champion in the unofficial-official Most Smashable Scions bracket?

💎 twinkovertheriver Follow

👑 princess-ianthes-foreskin Follow

uh yeah i sure hope she is ;)))))

💎 twinkovertheriver Follow

thanks for the addition necrumblr user princess ianthe's foreskin

🦴 boningthescions-bracket Follow

By the King Undying, you people are dogs. I will reblog as usual.

⚔ middlechild-diagnosed Follow

Me: Haha, I went to Ida and came back with snow blindness from all the fake glitz. :D Haha, I went to the Koinortus Court and came back seven years ago - I would have posted sooner but the joke was pending approval :D Always, Without Fail, Some Fucking Dipshit:

🪐 p4x-d0m1n1 Follow

*Koniortos. Stay in school, kids.

🥴 badjokesbyjohn Follow

A prodigy child spirit talker has escaped Fifth House custody after stealing a priceless artifact. That's right, folks, we've got a small medium at large.

👻 siphon-me-harder Follow

john we've talked about the name thing

⚜ cavpositivity Follow

Hydration Check!

Has your necromancer had water and taken their vitamins/probiotics/perscriptions today?

🗡 cavaliercot-suggestions Follow

(un)friendly reminder that there's nothing wrong with kinky roleplay and the suggestions and scenarios on this blog do not equal endorsement of irl cavalier-necromancer relationships.

🩸 saints-alive Follow

You know what? No. Fuck this, and fuck you fetishising cavalierdom. Frankly, as a necromancer, I'm digusted knowing that my cavalier can't even wipe the blood sweat from my brow without you making it sexual!

🗡 cavaliercot-suggestions Follow

My brother under Dominicus you literally write reader x Necrolord Prime x lyctor fanfic

💀 bonetopick Follow

are we forgetting that OP has literally admitted to owning unpaid servants?

🗡 cavaliercot-suggestions Follow

they're skeletons?????????????

💀 bonetopick Follow

they didn't die to pick up your laundry lazy motherfucker

📜 solace-in-thighs Follow

taking my final exam tonight wish me luck guys!

📜 solace-in-thighs Follow

what thefuck. what the fuck. my cousin Throckmorton told me my metaphors were uninspired and my performance stilted. IF HE KNEW THE FUCKING NUMBERS MY EROTIC POETRY DOES ON NECRUMBLR

📜 solace-in-thighs Follow

joining the cohort. if anyone even cares.

🌹 the-rose-blown-semifrequently Follow

a novel where a flesh magician and a spirit talker become roommates and have wacky adventures

plot twist: the spirit talker is super extroverted and slutty and the life of every party while the flesh magician is so prudish they keep their clothes on in the sonic and so timid they faint at the sight of blood

the novel is called "the spirit is willing but the flesh is meek"