#your mental health matters so don't let anyone tell you otherwise

[mycenalucentipes]

You Won't Understand || Draco Malfoy x GN!Reader

Summary: Where, you stumble upon Draco mid breakdown in a secluded part of the library. Draco hisses for you to go away, believing that you’ll never understand his problems. You scoff, saying, “try me”, thus starts a newfound companion. 

Word count: ~2.5k

Warnings: Swearing, angst, some comfort towards the end?

a/n: Hi, I just wanted to write a fic in where, the reader also struggles with not being good enough, and finally, maybe, someone will understand what they’re going through. I might’ve self projected all of my worries and trauma from my high school days lol. There's a longer explanation for that at the end if anyone wants to read xD

But anyways, please enjoy

A deep sigh escaped your lips as you made your way to the library. It was lunchtime, and you were supposed to be in the Great Hall with your friends. However, earlier that day, you received a Howler from your mother. 

“Y/N L/N. YOU HAVE BEEN SLACKING OFF IN YOUR STUDIES AGAIN HAVEN’T YOU!? YOU ONLY RECEIVED AN EXCEEDS EXPECTATIONS ON YOUR LAST EXAM. HOW COULD YOU!? DON’T EXPECT TO COME HOME WITH THOSE GRADES. IF YOU RECEIVE ANYTHING LESS THAN AN OUTSTANDING ON THE REST OF YOUR EXAMS, DON’T EVEN BOTHER COMING HOME.”

Thankfully you were in the privacy of your dorm room when you received this. Everyone had already left for the day. Your mother, a proud Ravenclaw, was deeply ashamed that you were sorted into the Slytherin house instead of hers. So to compensate, she relentlessly tortured you to always achieve the highest marks possible. After graduating Hogwarts, she attended the University of Oxford and ended up working for a different prestigious university as a researcher in neurology. 

Your father on the other hand was not a wizard. He was a muggle that your mother had fallen in love with while she attended regular university. He was also a neurologist, a man of science. He despised the magic part of you. It was a rude awakening when you got your letter from Hogwarts and your mother had to explain everything about her world. She fought him hard and long to send you to Hogwarts, so you couldn’t completely despise her. However, since they both wanted the best of their worlds for you, their expectations were too high in the sky for a mere sixteen-year old. Your father wanted you to attend the most prestigious university for med school while your mother just wanted you to be the top of your class. She figured you could become a healer at St. Mungo's or gain a high position in the Ministry of Magi. (She might be trying to live vicariously through you, as she gave up any jobs involving magic.)

As a result, you weren’t sure what you wanted anymore. For now, since you and your father weren’t exactly on speaking terms, your mother was the only one who even seemed to care. Thus, you focused all of your attention on your studies within the past month. Often skipping meals or falling asleep during them. Your friends began noticing the toll it took on you–your face grew paler and more tired, your hands shook, and dark circles formed under your eyes from countless all-nighters. Needless to say, you were incredibly freaked out for your next exam.

 If you didn’t receive an Outstanding, you would not have anywhere to go for the summer. Maybe you could spend it with the Weasleys? You managed to befriend Ginny, Fred, and George. Ron was a little harder to get him to come around, just because you were a Slytherin. 

On your way to the library, you nearly ran head first into Ginny. Oh, how coincidental. Before you even had a chance to apologise, she started rambling. 

“Oh hey, Y/n! I was just looking for you, I haven’t seen you at any meals today,” She said with worry evident on her face, “Are you alright? Please, come back to  lunch with me. I miss you, Y/n. We're all worried about you.” You cast her a guilt-ridden look. 

“I’m just heading to the library. I need to perfect my knowledge for the next exam,” You sighed defeatedly with a small chuckle. 

“But, Y/n–” Ginny began, concern lacing her voice. This time, you wore an apologetic expression. 

“I’m sorry Ginny, I just can’t. I–uhm, can I ask a favour from you though?” Avoiding eye contact out of shame, you looked away, unable to hold her gaze any longer.

“Of course Y/n, anything.” Ginny reached out and rubbed your arm in an attempt to comfort you.

You let out a heavy sigh. “Could I possibly stay at your place over the summer?” You hung your head down, eyes filled with unshed tears. You couldn’t bring yourself to meet Ginny’s gaze. “My mother owled me to say: If you don’t get O’s on the rest of your exams, don’t even think about coming home, child!” Ginny gasped softly, eyes widening at the words that stammered out of your mouth. 

“Oh, Y/n, of course you can stay with us. I'm sure you'll be alright, but you're always welcome to stay with us,” She replied, her voice brimming with sympathy. You gave a short nod of thanks, unable to speak or your tears would escape your eyes. “I suppose I’ll see you later then? Please, come to dinner at least.” You once again nodded, giving her a small smile. She smiled back as well, then turned and left you once again. 

You let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding. The exhaustion and tiredness from it all was creeping in, eating away at you slowly. 

You were so tired. When would it get better? When would it end?

As you entered the library, your eyes scanned the endless rows of books, searching for a quiet place to study. That’s when you noticed a figure hunch in a cushioned chair by a window, their shoulders shaking and trembling.

It was Draco Malfoy. A boy that you weren’t really on any terms with. Occasional waves from you and small nods from him were the extent of your communication. 

Forgetting about your own woes for a moment, you cautiously approached him, uncertain if he would react kindly to your presence. Once you were about five feet away from him, his head snapped up. Then you saw his face. Tears pooled out of his eyes every few seconds, his lips trembled, then his brows narrowed. 

“What are you doing here?” Draco spat out, his voice a little hoarse. 

You hesitated for a moment, taking in the situation you just landed yourself in. Despite the venomous sounding tone, you could detect that he really hadn’t meant it that way. Ignoring his question, you stepped closer, concern etched on your own features.

“Are you alright?” You asked softly, your voice filled with genuine worry, “I–Is there anything I can do?”

Draco averted his gaze, trying to hide the pain and tears in his eyes. “It’s nothing. Just go away, please. You wouldn’t understand,” he muttered, his voice laced with frustration. You narrowed your eyes at this. 

“Oh, I wouldn’t? Why, because I’m not a pureblood? Because I 'don’t have any expectations placed onto me'? Hmm?” You retorted back, unsure why you spat back such a defensive response. He looked slightly taken aback at your words. 

“Yes, precisely. Wow, you're so smart,” his voice dripping with sarcasm, he rolled his eyes, then slumped back in the chair.

You folded your arms. “Try me, then. I won’t tell anyone, I swear it," you challenged him, not budging.  

He narrowed his eyes at you once again, unsure if he should open up. After a moment of internal struggle, he sighed with defeat. “If you really must know, There’s just–just so many expectations weighing on me. If I’m not good enough, it will be a disaster for my parents and me. I don’t want to risk anything, and the pressure is so... suffocating. I feel like I’m losing my mind,” he reluctantly started, but soon couldn’t stop, he didn’t know why he was sharing all of this with some random classmate.

“I’m not good enough for him. I don’t even feel that I’m good enough for my parents. My father always says: Malfoys do this, Malfoys don’t do that. Then my mother is already trying to arrange a marriage for me. I wish everyone’s expectations of me would just disappear.”

“But how would you ever understand that type of pressure?” He sighed in frustration as you just nodded along. muttered quietly, but you still heard him.

You didn't know who 'he' was, but you sure as fuck knew about pressure from parents.

“Sorry to interrupt your little pity party, Malfoy,” you sighed, meeting his glare with a calm gaze. “But let me tell you, I do understand the feelings of pressure and not being good enough for someone. I’m going to get kicked out of my home by my mother if I don’t get Outstandings on every single last assignment. She's dead serious about that. My father and I aren’t on speaking terms because he thinks being magical is stupid. He wants me to attend muggle medicine university. My mother shames me everyday for being in Slytherin and not her perfect little Ravenclaw house. They both expect me to do what they want without giving me a choice. If I’m not their perfect little daughter, I’ll just get shunned and kicked out. Disowned. I'm just their disappointment,” you rambled out, “but I suppose this little talk shouldn’t be about me. Sorry, didn't mean to spin it like that. Just forget it.” 

Maybe your family's reputation wasn't as important as the Malfoys, but nonetheless, you were sure you would become disowned by them. They had set unrealistic expectations out of you. Your mental health was rapidly declining, if it hadn’t already hit rock bottom, your feelings were valid and you won’t let anyone tell you otherwise. However, your parents didn’t seem to care about your feelings. 

"I definitely know how it feels. Like someone is drowning or suffocating you. There's no breaks. And it's all ridiculous because we are just teenagers. So what the fuck, life?" You angrily whisper out.

Draco stared at you, momentarily speechless. “I… I had no idea,” he murmured out, “it seems you are capable of understanding this more than I thought.” You mirrored the speechlessness, unsure if you should be insulted or relieved by his admission. He looked away from you, staring out the window for a brief moment. 

“It’s alright, Draco. No one really notices anyways,” you laugh awkwardly, trying to brush your feelings away again. Even though you pushed for Draco to share his feelings, you felt like a burden doing the same thing. 

You went to approach him, stepping into the rays of sunlight that beamed in from the windows. It wasn’t until now that Draco took in your full appearance. He never paid you much mind, as you weren’t a pureblood or in his friend group, but friends with the Weasleys. You truly were a beauty. You had godly features that rivalled any of the most attractive students. Your hair cascaded softly around your face, accentuating your facial features. It was also then, he realised just how malnourished and exhausted you were looking. The sunken eyes, pale face, bloodshot eyes and slightly trembling form. He was sure a gust of wind would knock you over. 

“You look like shit, L/n.” Draco said flatly, instantly realising the bluntness of his comment. Your eyes widened at his comment.

 “I–I’m sorry, that was uncalled for.” He apologised? Who was this imposter and what did he do with Draco Malfoy? 

“Gee, thanks. It’s nothing I can’t handle though.” You rolled your eyes, a small laugh escaped your lips. Attempting to brush his concern off and divert the attention away from yourself, you shot back, “Have you seen yourself though? I could say the same.” Draco just shook his head with amusement on his face.

“Yeah, yeah. But, it’s clearly not ‘nothing’. A gust of wind could knock you over,” he retorted back, though his gaze softened. You scoffed at him. He couldn’t explain why he suddenly cared, why he wanted to reach out to you. Maybe it was because you made him feel calmer? The gentle aura you carried around when others were there was relaxing and a good change of pace. Maybe it was the fact that you also shared the same feelings of struggle as him. Not being accepted or feeling good enough for everyone. You tried to help him (in your own challenging way), now he wanted to help you, at least just a little. 

You hummed a little, shying away a little for the first time. “Well, perhaps we could both use a break from trying to meet everyone’s expectations. Maybe we can help each other out,” you suggest, “though I don’t know how to help out with the whole pureblood traditions thing, I’ll be around for you if you need some support. Or just a friend to hangout with or vent to.” Draco nodded along with your plan, not feeling too opposed to this.

“And I can help you with your studies,” he offered with a soft tone. You nodded as well, giving a genuine smile this time. 

+==+==+

Over the next few weeks, you and Draco spent more and more time together. Sometimes it would be hardcore study sessions. Where it felt like the questions he quizzed you on were never ending. Other times, it would be ranting about everything and nothing. It helped both of you get some weight off your chests. A couple times, you took trips to Hogsmeade to chat over a butterbeer or three. 

You could say it was a friendship. You weren’t sure how he felt, but you could feel yourself falling for the Slytherin boy. Though you knew it might not end well, with him being a ‘pureblood’ and all. Such bullshit that is. You often told him that was your opinion on the pureblood traditions, he would just chuckle, sadness laced in it occasionally. 

“Y/n, how do you feel about your grades?” Draco asked casually as you both walked down an empty hallway. Your face paled and your body froze in your steps. The feeling always haunted you, no matter how much you talked it over, it would still haunt you. Draco came to a halt and turned towards you, voice laced with genuine worry, “Y/n?” He could see the inner turmoil your brain shoved you into, and it pained him more than it should have to see you like this. 

You tried to shake yourself out of anxiety’s grip. “I’m not too sure to be honest. I’m waiting on three exams and two homework grades still…,” you trailed off, drowning in your worries again. 

“Hey, hey, you’ll be ok, alright?” He said with a much softer tone while placing his hands on your arms. Over the weeks, you both became immaculate at reading each other’s signs of worry or anxiety, knowing exactly what to do. 

“You don’t know that, Draco,” you sighed, “although, maybe staying with the Weasleys would be better for my mental health anyways.” At this thought, you felt a little more relieved, but no matter how much you tried not to care, these feelings would forever haunt you.

“A–anyways, how about you? How’s your whole… family thing?” You asked, deflecting any more concern that came your way.

“It’s uh… still not great. Mother called off any preset engagements, however she still wants me to at least try going on the dates.” He grumbled. It was a little progress. You encouraged him to express his feelings with his mother, maybe it would change her mind. You knew it was a long shot to be able to change the traditions of hundreds of years, but why not try now? 

“Oh! Well, I suppose that’s… a little good then?” You tilted your head a little, becoming lost in thoughts again. You wondered if her mind would ever change enough to let you potentially date Draco. No, you haven’t confessed anything to Draco, but your feelings weren’t dying. 

Draco scrunched his nose and gave a slight nod. “Yes, I suppose so. Maybe, someday, she’ll let me date whoever I want, without worrying about blood status…” Your eyes widened, a blush spreading across your cheeks and to your ears. 

“That would be nice, wouldn’t it?” You stammered out. You didn’t want to get your hopes up, but you could’ve sworn that was implying he wanted to date you. Little did you know, you were correct. Maybe someday it would work out, but for now, both of you were content with your ever growing friendship. Though, can you really call this a friendship? You were sure it dug deeper than just that. 

looong a/n: So, I might’ve self projected all of my worries and trauma from my highschool days. I went to a public hs, but good god, the standards were high. Anything less than an A was a failure. I had friends crying over 94%’s… I had a couple friends that would get locked out of their houses for the day if they brought home C’s. I, myself, never felt smart enough either. My friends always scored higher than me.

I maintained a solid 3.8 GPA, but it just wasn’t as high as my friends’ with their 3.9’s and 4.0’s :’). So I spent my whole grade school career, never feeling smart enough. I cried myself to sleep most nights from the stress of it all. My parents would get onto me and had really high expectations for me as well. It took my dad forever to realise I'm going to sometimes get C's because some subjects just don't click and I crumble under pressure. No matter how hard I study, I cannot always get A's. That should be okay, but my parents....hhhhh. It’s taken me a little bit of time to start undoing the feeling that if I don't get A’s, I’m a failure.

Though, I’m finally realising that grades aren’t everything in life, and it’s ok. I’ll still aim for the top, but I’m not sacrificing my mental health for it again. (I still have a 3.8GPA at uni, but now I’m studying smarter ;) and uni has been slightly easier than high school, wtf.) I’m not trying to sound stuck up or snobby, I promise and I apologise. That was just the school mindset I was raised in. In which, I’m trying to undo some of those more painful mindsets. 

I’m trying to learn that my efforts are enough. I’m putting my best work in while not sacrificing my sanity this time. I’m enough, you’re enough, don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. 

Thanks for reading if you did!

[icyg4l]

Pick-An-Icon: How can you show up for your ancestors during Black History Month?

(Left-to-Right: Pile 1, Pile 2, Pile 3)

In honor of Black History Month, I wanted to start a Pick-A-Card series dedicated to Black Americans. I want to highlight icons in our community while simultaneously offering advice for any Black Americans who seek guidance about how to honor their heritage. If you're a Black American and you're reading this, this is for YOU! With the usage of the special Hoodoo Tarot deck, I will present you with ways to honor your ancestors. If you read this and enjoy and/or resonate with the reading, I encourage you to book with me! Thank you in advance!

Pile 1: Cards Used - Eight of Knives, Railroad Bill, Three of Baskets, Nine of Baskets, Two of Baskets, Nine of Knives, Gullah Jack and John Horse.

Affirmation: It is easy for me to take control of my narrative.

If you chose the image of Chaka Khan, then you resonate with her feisty, raw energy. This pile is for the creatives who are unsure of their talents. Your ancestors want you to know that there is more than one way to skin a cat. Introduce original ideas to the forefront. One way you can honor them is by not allowing time to limit your abilities. You put in so much work only to feel limited by a man-made construct. It doesn’t matter how old or young you are, you will always have time! Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. I channeled this old interview of Prince saying how he doesn't celebrate birthdays because it keeps him younger. Take on that carefree mindset of not applying the norm to your life. Your time is now! Another way that you can honor your ancestors is by setting up an altar. I get the sense that this pile is very secretive with their spiritual practices. Adorn your altar with foods, drinks, jewelry and other belongings of this loved one. They will appreciate it dearly. If you've lost someone recently, my condolences. But definitely keep in touch with them. I get the feeling that this is a young man, like an older cousin or brother. Keep the memories of you two alive so that he can peacefully cross over into the afterlife. Lastly, being a class act is a great way to honor your ancestors. Refusing to sit back and allow injustices to happen will make your ancestors proud. You have a voice! Use it! Organizing protests, sit-ins, even crowdfunding will make your ancestors proud. Combatting the capitalistic nature of society by collaborating with those in your community will hep you get in touch with your ancestral roots. You're naturally a giver, I can tell.

Pile 2: Cards Used - Nine of Knives, Two of Coins, Five of Sticks, Strength, Daughter of Knives, Aunt Caroline, Ten of Sticks, Six of Knives, The Garden and Seven of Coins.

Affirmation: I deserve to move through life with ease.

Hello, Pile 2. Off rip, I get the feeling that this is my pile of overachievers. I also believe that this is the pile that people who identify as LGBTQIA+. You resonate with the energy of Lauryn Hill's mysterious, intellectual nature. Why do you feel the need to carry so many burdens, Pile 2? One way to honor your ancestors is to lighten your load. They see that you struggle so much because of the amount of responsibilities that you carry. They had to go through similar things and they do want to witness their struggles in your lifetime. Ask for help, please. If you do not ask for help, then you will implode and we want to avoid that as much as possible, yes? You do not have to be the strongest in the room. Who are you trying to prove yourself to? It would be best that this pile talks to a mental health professional to receive guidance and proper medical treatment. Another way that you can honor your ancestors is by blowing off steam. Let your emotions flow. Slam the doors. Scream in pillows. Remove the mask and don't allow your emotions to consume you. You are allowed to be angry, my love. You have a lot to be angry about. Finally, the last way that you can honor your ancestors is to explore. You put in so much work, it's only right you get rewarded for it. Book that spa day. Go get a mani-pedi. Take the weekend off and go into hiding, you deserve it. Go somewhere you haven't been before. Your ancestors want you to relax and wind down.

Pile 3: Cards Used - Ten of Coins, Father Simms, Mother of Knives, Four of Coins, Dr. Grant, Six of Sticks, Six of Baskets, Six of Knives, Nine of Knives, Miss Robinson and Five of Coins.

Affirmation: I am doing perfectly fine in the present moment.

Alright Pile 3. You choose the image of Donna Summer, which means you resonate with her sultry, bold personality. This pile already has a close relationship with their family/ancestors, specifically the maternal side. To honor your ancestors, you must keep it this way. Learn about the traditions of your maternal side. Preserve recipes, photos and jewelry of your maternal side. And most importantly, gatekeep these things! You don’t have to share everything with everyone! Some people who choose this pile will have ties to Houston, Texas or currently live there. If you’re thinking about moving there, you should! It will help you mature. Another way that you can honor your ancestors is to receive compliments of comparison to a family member of yours well. You may not like it, but it shows your ancestors that you have respect for their features and/or personality. If you look like Aunt Linda or Uncle Jermaine, then that’s absolutely fine! Don’t deny it! Embrace it! Lastly, don’t let money consume you! I channeled the scene at the end of Players Club where Diamond visits Ebony at her new job in the shoe store. Diamond tells Ebony to “make that money, girl but don’t let it make you.” You don’t have to keep up with the latest fashion trends. You don’t have to have a job in tech or have a “lazy” desk job. It is perfectly fine to work at McDonald’s or work in retail. You’re making an honest living and that’s all that matters. Accept things as they are. Your ancestors made something out of nothing, and so can you. They are proud of you! Keep going.

[telail]

never alone ⋆.ೃ࿔* c.s

Pairing: Choi San x Gn!Reader Tags: 1k wc, established relationship, angst, comfort, depression, fluff, ateez oneshot 🎧- Runaway by AURORA note: a little message from me to any of my readers or anyone who happens to come across this that you're never alone even in hard times. Luv u all <3 -TAE

In the quiet corners of your mind where shadows dance with light, there lay a battlefield that is scarcely spoken of.

To the world, you move with grace that belies the turmoil within, your smile which has turned itself into a well practiced mask that hides the depths of your struggles becoming nothing more than a display to those outside of your head.

Never knowing that beneath the surface there's a constant war against invisible adversaries– anxiety, depression, and a haunting sense of isolation that clings to you like a second skin.

As of lately each day has become a journey through a fog of internal conflicts, where every step forward is a victory hard-won against the chains of your own mind.

Your world has become one where your mental health is both the monster under your bed and the unseen weight upon your shoulders, a reality that you force yourself not to face.

In these moments of solitude, you battle with your thoughts, the darkest of which whisper of inadequacy and despair. Yet in the midst of this silent war, there lies a thread of resilience– a faint but unwavering light of hope.

Choi san, someone you’d met earlier on in your life. He was a kind soul with a gentle heart that somewhere along the line he’d trusted you to handle with care.

You’d crossed paths with each other when you were just teenagers and from there to now San had turned himself into something you could lean on through a bond sealed with genuine love and trust.

He pays close attention to you throughout the time that you two spend together, it’s always been an attribute of his that you’ve admired. How attentive he was when it came to people he cared about– able to pick up on even the smallest interests and quirks within a person just because it matters that much to him.

Which is why it wasn't surprising when he was the first to notice the subtle shift in your once vibrant spirit.

Where your laughter used to reside, which used to fill his ears and shoot straight to his heart leaving it with a warm fuzzy feeling– had now been replaced by a somber quiet. He noticed.

Sitting at the edge of your shared bed, San reached for your hand, feeling the coldness of your flesh and the silver diamond laced band wrapped around your ring finger. “Hey,” he said softly, his voice a gentle anchor in the quiet of the room.

You look up at him, your eyes vacant of any signs of interest though you try so hard to make it look otherwise. “Hi,” you replied, a ghost of a smile passing your lips.

“You’ve been.. quiet– lately. More than what I’m used to. What's been going on in that pretty head of yours hm?” He encouraged, squeezing your hand.

You hesitated, letting out a shaky sigh as you tried your absolute best to decline the feeling of tears making their way to your eyes immediately at the pure sincerity in his voice alone.

“I don't- it's- it’s like I'm lost in a fog, San. And- I can't see the way out– I- everything just feels like it's everywhere all at one time and it's too much– it's too much for me and I don't know how to handle it because I don't think I’ve ever felt so intensely before.”

San moved closer, nodding his head to give you a sense of reassurance that he heard you, that he was listening.

“You’ve been having a hard time for a while haven't you?” he asked, opening his arms slightly as an invitation to which you nodded and pushed yourself into his embrace.

“I know, I’m sure it’s been difficult baby.” he whispers, kissing the top of your head before continuing “Thank you– for telling me, giving me the chance to reassure you that you're not alone in that fog and that I’ll be here, to help you find a way out of that fog no matter how long it takes- we’ll find a way out, together.”

“You sound so.. sure. How do we really know it’ll all work out, or how much more of this I'll have to take?” You mumbled, leaning into his embrace.

“Because it always does, always. Life gives you clouds but sometimes they get in the way and turn into this inconvenience we call fog. It makes it hard to see and it makes things feel all damp and icky but it clears up, and things dry. I’ve been through some fog myself in life but you made me feel as though it wasn't just me trying to blow it all away on my own. So now it's my turn to do the same for you.”

By now you’d stopped fighting the tears nicking at your tear ducts to be released, a few spilled from your eyes as you asked, “But what if it doesn't lift what if it's just too much, even for the both of us?”

San swiped his fingers gently across your cheeks, ridding your tears with his gentle touch while leaving soft kisses in their trails.

“Then we’ll walk, and we’ll keep walking and we’ll keep blowing until it does. And on days when it feels too much we’ll stand still. There's no rush as long as it's me and you angel.”

You only found yourself nestling closer to him, finding solace in his words. “I’m scared,” you admitted, your voice barely above a whisper.

“Yeah? That makes two of us.” He says, flashing you his pretty dimpled smile. “Life is scary, but we're in this together.” He said, his tone becoming serious again as he lifted your head, your gaze meeting his.

“We’ll light up whatever darkness you’ve been facing with thousands of little moments of joy and more.. I promise we’ll make it through.” He reassured you, something he was just so unfairly good at.

For the first time in what felt like an eternity, you felt a genuine sense of hope. In San’s unwavering support you found the courage to face your struggles, not as insurmountable barriers, but as part of your journey together.

A testament to the healing power of love and companionship. Through dialogues of heart and moments of silent understanding, you remind each other that even in the deepest fog, no one has to walk alone.

Thank you for reading. Excuse any mistakes! =) -T © telail 2024 | do not copy, translate, or modify.

[stilljuststardust]

Dissociation will not help you shift it'll only make you struggle.

This may be controversial. I normally say that what matters most is what you personally believe but this can genuinely negatively impact your mental health. Encouraging this can genuinely ruin lives.

Trying to worsen your dissociation or depersonalization is just plain self destructive. It will hurt you and your mental health.

Dissociation will kill any motivation you have for shifting and failed attempts will slowly hit harder and harder. You'll feel empty. You'll think of your DR and feel nothing but apathy because you can feel nothing at all.

Dissociation is not pretty or beneficial don't let anyone tell you otherwise. I know from personal experience.

As you lose your ability to ground yourself and feel your feelings you will also lose your ability to do so with your DR. It will be so much harder to connect with it while you're in this reality. If you are unable to connect with what's in front of you how will you connect to something that you can't yet see?

How will you connect to a version of yourself you haven't yet met if you can't connect with the body you are already in?

Dissociation will ruin your realtionships, it'll cause you to self sabotage, you slowly lose yourself. Encouraging dissociation is so so incredibly dangerous.

You are not tethered or tied to this reality. You are not stuck here. Just like any other reality. No galaxy can contain you.

You do not need to disconnect yourself from this reality it ALREADY has no hold over you. You are infinite and so much more powerful than you know. The goal in any reality is to care for yourself and grow as a person, not to become a shell of yourself.

I can tell you from personal experience grounding yourself will make you connect to your DR more. You'll feel your feelings for your comfort characters stronger, you'll feel hope and excitement, you'll be an active participant in your shifting journey. Ground yourself.

[weirdly-specific-but-ok]

just an update?

Hello my maggots, Asmi here. I'm really sorry that I haven't replied to a lot of the stuff I've been tagged in/reblogs/DMs, it has been a... chaotic two days. I promise I'll get to them soon, as soon as my mind calms down a bit (to its ordinary level of chaos, I mean).

In an update on the 10khaos, for those who haven't heard, my hair is indeed now Crowley red, the Discord server is made (and currently broiling in utter madness, the Youtube channel has also been made and I have an idea for the first video, and I will soon set forth and adopt the Crowley, Aziraphale and Adam plants.

So as for the irl mind stuff, it's basically that the red hair brought up the question of whether or not I'd be able to go through with college, design school starts in May-ish.

(um mild tw for bullying and a mention of transphobia, skip the next two paragraphs if that is a trigger for you)

I've been in college before, that was design too, for three months. And I had to drop out because I was being isolated and bullied by everyone there including the dean, as well as a lot of transphobia and discrimination on the basis of mental health issues.

Soooo... yeah. There's also the fact that the new college will be far more conservative and I live in India and it's all really a shit of a mess. So my mum asked me to think about whether I wanted to do distance learning instead, since I already am a designer and have done projects.

It's a lot to think about. And my head is being all messy, ya know how it is. If any of you have advice or experience with distance learning, that would be amazing, actually.

(Also my family were kind of really mean about my Crowley hair)

(Oh well)

(I love it and I have you amazing maggots so)

Anyway yes I just wanted to say what was going on so that you know why if I don't respond immediately to things going on :") And if you want to interact with the other maggots, the Discord server is always there, links get messed up on posts but I'm sure @arkytiorlecter or @howmanyholesinswisscheese will send you the invite link if you need it. It's in one of my posts, but things do tend to get lost on my blog, don't they?

No matter what I want you all to know that you are so, so loved, you are more than enough just by existing and being your beautiful selves, and you have made my life immeasurably better. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

I love you I love you I love you maggots. I promise I'll go through the notes soon and cause chaos :") So beware. It just might take a day or two for me to get back to my usual frequency of chronical onlineness (which is my happy place muehuehue).

Have a wonderful day, and remember to eat and sleep and hydrate and take meds if you need to.

All my maggoty princely love for you, Asmi

[niuniente]

Regarding fandoms and comments, I've recently had negative comments that tell me I'm not good and should just quit writing. Well, it worked. I no longer am able to write without it affecting my mental state. People who do the bullying do it to get rid of authors they don't like that doesn't fit their mindset. When does it end? I didn't want it to hurt my mental health and get me to quit, but it did.

People treating each other badly whenever they can never ceases to make me sad.

I try to think the quote "hurt people hurt people" when dealing with negative people. Happy, balanced people, who view others as their equals, have no need to leave negative comments, send hate messages etc. to others just because they can.

Take a little break but don't let anyone stop you from doing what you love! I try to keep this mentality and I always think about how Billy Idol (80's famous singer) just kept pushing forward whenever someone or something said no to him:

When he was a child, he wanted to play a guitar. Parents said "No, you can only play a violin" -> Billy secretly got himself a guitar with 5£ at the age of 9 and learned to play it by himself.

His teenage girlfriend dyed his hair white. Everyone said it looked horrible on him -> Billy kept the white hair and made it his trademark.

He discovered punk and FINALLY managed to put a band together in his late teens. Too bad that London, where he lived, had closed all bars and pubs from punk bands. They weren't legally allowed to play anywhere. -> Billy and a few other guys established their own place for all punk bands, where all where welcome to play.

He went to university to study music. He was bullied and ostracized by other students as he was too weird, too freaky looking and listened to punk instead of jazz -> He was lonely but staid in the school and kept his looks and music taste.

He started to dislike being a band member and wanted to have a solo career. Everyone said you can't make it, you suck, you can't make compose a shit -> Billy decided to start a solo career as Billy Idol anyway.

When he started to get a little footing in the Europe, he decided that he wants to go to USA. It would give him better markets and more chances to succeed. Too bad that Europe's most famous punk band, Sex Pistols, has just epically failed in their attempts to make it in the USA. America hated punk and Billy Idol was nobody compared to Sex Pistols. Everyone called him delusional for having such stupid dreams. -> Billy went to USA anyway

In America, all record labels he went to said the same thing; you will never make it here. You sing punk and we hate it. You sing with British English and we hate it. You look so fucking ugly that no one will come to see you. If you want to succeed here, you need to change your music style for radio friendly stuff, change your accent and change your looks. -> Billy thought that if singing with American accents helps, he does it. Otherwise, fuck you. This is the music he wants to do and this is his style and how he wants to look. -> This decision led him to become super famous. Everyone loved his music and the fucking ugly guy became one of the 80's sex symbols, and his music videos were literally directed to sell with sex to the female audience.

Also, it was told him with dead certainty by many people that your music will never play in radios. EVER. Well, what do you know, his music still plays in the radios, 40 years later :3

So, keep going! Keep writing! There's audience for every single style out there and just because some asshat wasn't impressed, it doesn't mean others wouldn't like your stuff.

I mean, how much emphasis do we want to put into asshats words anyway? Which matters more; some random asshat's feelings or our own joy and inspiration when we do something creative?

[lostonmari]

SUCCESS #2 - November

Success #2 -- Everything I manifested in November

November is when I started this blog, and also ACTUALLY started applying all of the things I learned started taking affirming and thinking in my favor seriously instead of just sporadically manifesting random things here and there because I was too lazy to put in the work. I never had issues w wavering, but I was just inconsistent as fuck (Hell, I'm still inconsistent with posting on my own damn blog, yall can't possibly think I'm consistent with affirming!) So here's everything I manifested…

Manifested back my old bestfriend/ex-gf after 4 years no contact She came back, apologized for mistreating me and told me basically everything I affirmed for LMAO. and that's one of the things that gave me faith in the law because ik this girl would rather die than ever apologize to someone. Now that she's back I'm manifesting away her friends and leaving her broke down and in shambles because I'm evil and believe in revenge. yall dont know the type of bullsh*t this woman put me through. Idc if everyone is you pushed out, some people don't deserve forgiveness 🤓

My mom is walking again I successfully revised her shattered ankle without the weeks of recovery time the doctors "thought" she needed. She's literally walking around just fine now and doesn't need to wear her cast or whatever that big bulky thing was.

Manifested my brother out of jail on a time crunch Now I'm not sharing my family's whole drama online but… yea. he's out.

No more social anxiety, cured one of my mental health issues I don't wanna trauma dump or go into too much detail about my life but, yes. for anyone also working on mental health, it can be done and you won't regret trying. Life actually feels like it has meaning now and for once in all my years of life, I can actually say that I'm happy. 💗

Stopped nail biting COMPLETELY! I used to struggle with nail biting for YEARSSS whether it was out of stress, anxiety, whatever the fuck. but now it's completely gone. my nails are no longer STUBS, like theyre actually long and healthy. I didn't even affirm for this so I kinda think it came with improving my mental health since I didn't really have the issues that *triggered* nail biting anymore yk?. I'm actually the happiest about this result like yall don't understand how long I've wanted the natural french tips look 💀

[TW: Discussion of binging, discussion of food]

6. WL + Maintained weight loss! I literally changed my entire way of viewing food, and subsequently fixed my lose->gain->lose-> gain again cycle. Ever since learning LOAss If I binged I would be like: I just have a fast metabolism so that's why I'm so hungry my body is burning everything I eat so fast! and I would also tell myself calories don't matter because food is only energy. Basically, reminding myself of what Abdullah told Neville: "If you ate as I did, you would be poisoned because of your belief." (heavily paraphrased because my memory is terrible.. yes I'm working on it 😭) and it keeps me from feeling guilty abt eating. I ate SOOO MUCH food yesterday and I mean SO MUCH. I ate an entire box of cheese sticks, two large chicken sandwiches, 2 pb & j sandwiches total throughout the day, and half a tub of icecream for dessert… Yeah I was going crazy.. to the point I looked 5 months pregnant at the end of the night. Fast forward to today, my stomach is back to flat and back to normal as if it never happened. Food literally will not effect you if you believe it doesn't! This was my main focus too so I'm very proud of myself :)

Moral of the story is, never give up.

YOU decide what happens in your reality and don't let anyone tell you otherwise. There were times when I didn't want to affirm, so I didn't. If I felt lazy then I didn't consciously affirm or listen to subliminals, I just relaxed and went on about my day. I never made affirming feel like a chore. There were times when I had doubts too or thought it wouldn't work. I especially thought it wouldn't work for my mental health but I just affirmed anyway. When you're having resistance literally just know there's nothing bad that can possibly happen from believing in yourself and thinking in your favor. Just DO IT. Persist no matter what and you WILL get what you want!

I'll try to do better with posting my successes (but only ones that actually meant something big to me tbh. I don't see a point in sharing every little thing unless it was me overcoming some type of struggle) and answering messages but I refuse to download the tumblr app so yall just gotta see and hear from me whenever I feel like loading up this website. I'm just enjoying & living my life rn girl I used to dream about times like this and now I finally have them 😭

[hidden-snow]

Just wanted to put this out there for anyone who might think otherwise; I will not apologize for who I am.

I have been accused so many times by people I thought I could trust. I've been taken advantage of, spit on, and treated like shit all my life. So if I come back with a nasty bite, just know its because I'm not a fucking dog. I've not been raised to lay down and roll over to expose my belly to motherfuckers who think they can dictate my life.

I don't give a shit whose feelings I hurt. Because you obviously didn't give a shit when you trampled over mine. So let's get one thing fucking straight right here and now:

Hello people.

I'm the one and only Hidden Snow. I had a writing account before with over 400 followers. I was in an amazing discord server. I loved the people in it. I was happy and I'd just started to grow comfortable with the people around me.

And then one day? I talked about my obsession over Hazbin Hotel. Yes. That show that a certain creator had made.

One of the server members made a comment that they hoped the creator would lose the show. And I responded. I stated that I hoped Vivziepop wouldn't lose the show. ONLY because I knew different people would change it. They'd change the characters, the plot line, everything. I didn't want the show to be changed.

And then, somehow, I got accused of supporting Vivziepop and genocide, despite me simply wanting the show to stay the same. Then, my amazing lovely @strongheartneteyam got accused of being racist when she attempted to stop the fighting and to control the situation so things would become peaceful again. The accuser claimed that they were going to go on Tumblr and accuse her publicly. So of course, to support my lovely pookie, I went on Tumblr and warned the people so that they'd be prepared for it.

In response, the accuser posted a "call out" post, claiming that I'd bullied them and that I was racist and "scared of them" because they were black. I CANNOT express how many times this same person, during the argument in the server, showed blatant racism against white women in particular.

To top it off, I never spoke to this person. Not a single time. I was mainly a lurker in the server, but the people I interacted with, I was familiar with them. This person, I didn't even know existed until they popped into the argument. And by that point? I had left the discussion to keep from saying something I might've regretted.

So tell me. Tell me how I was a bully and a racist when I never interacted with that person. Not even once. I have no idea why but I guess a lot of people nowadays only listen to half the story and then judge.

I lost many mutuals. I felt lost and alone, shunned by my "friends" despite me not actually having done anything wrong. I got tired. So I deleted my account. I took a week for my mental health. And I got angry. So fucking angry.

So here I am. And I will tell the truth, blatant or not. You can see it as bullying. You can see it as me being a horrible asshole. But I don't care anymore. Because I'm not going to let some petty big shots attempt to ruin my fight anymore. I'm not going to let them turn off my voice, just because it makes them upset or uncomfortable.

I'm done being a doormat, appealing to the bigger accounts in an attempt to win their hearts over. If you want to try and ruin me, fucking do it. Do your best. Because whether I lose followers or gain followers, whether I receive death threats or not, I'm still going to stand by my word and the truth of what I'm saying.

When I needed a shoulder to lean on? When I needed someone to hear out my side of the story so that I could clear my name, they shunned me instead. They ignored me and chose sides by ignoring my pleas for the truth to be revealed. They say they were "remaining neutral" in the matter, but when you listen to one side claiming something and then turn a blind eye to the other side, you're not staying neutral. You're picking sides. So yeah.

That's all I have to say on the matter. If you've found me through some of the bigger accounts complaining about me? Congratulations. You've found the asshole speaking their side of everything that has happened.

Because of these people, I wanted to end it all. Not just my career on Tumblr, but my life as well. I've never had my name drug through the mud unjustly before and I had no idea how to react. But now, I'm reacting. And I'm going to come back with a vengeance. I'm going to fight tooth and nail to show the sides of these accounts that have been shown to me. The sides that are hidden from their followers.

[pinkydude]

👋 Coming back

I talked about personal stuff a bit on my Twitter last year, but since I came back to Tumblr I feel like I should share it here too 🤏 especially since this is where it all happened and all

I'm not the type of guy to make long post (not anymore at least) but I've been thinking about it for the past days and I think that I won't be able to truly move on and enjoy my time back on Tumblr until I adress it here as well

There's A LOT of new faces around, assuming the majority of the active peeps don't know me 😳👋 (not complaining ghfhgf) so this will be a weird read, maybe? This isn't at all a "callout post", I won't name anyone or any situations in details, just -vague gesture- awknowledge things here and there, this is mainly about my experience (small TW for mention of su*cide)

I came back to Tumblr earlier this year after being away from public fandom spaces for ~a year (more or less) and I noticed that there was still "drama" (both light dramas and more serious harassment, using "drama" as a general term here) happening- and at first I didn't want to interact with any of it because it was hitting too close to home

I've been publicly harassed since mid 2021- and I know it's still happening, old dramas being digged up publicly sometimes- but the harassment back then wasn't anonym tho

Lowest point for me is when this fandom almost costed me my life, didn't know what to do, and ending up acting stupid in the middle of a panic attack- wouldn't be there if not for my close friends. That's when I realized that I needed to take a step back, to reconnect with what truly matter and to stop getting involved in things that were dragging my mental health down. Since then, I've been fully enjoying my and other's content again 😌

So when I came back and saw that the same people were still harassing (actively or passively) others? I wanted to say something, but I didn't really (left some comments, tags, sent some supportive DMs...)

Using this post to finally say- ayo, I've been there and the best advice I can say is, take a break 🤏 Take a break from the fandom when it becomes too overwhelming for X or Y reason. Small break, big break- whatever will work for you, but disconnect! Even if you think you're ok, it all pills up subconsciously (feeling burnout over Art, VP, Mods, starting to compare yourself to others, getting parano... those are all signs that you might want to back off a bit and spent time doing something else, ressource yourself!)

Also want to use this post to thanks all the people that were checking on me during that time away and to those who were still supporting my creations, it really gave me the strength to continue 🧡

Thanks also to everyone who came to "clear the air" since I came back! I know a big wave of new comers joined right as some drama was happening- and I get wanting to protect yourselves and blocking the persons mentionned in callouts! There is nothing wrong with protecting your space (don't let anyone tell you otherwise)

I met and connected with new people (something I thought would never happen again after everything) some of them I can now call good friends, and I'll forever be grateful for people who think for themselves and have their own opinions

Nothing happened, this post isn't a reply to anything/anyone or an attack or an attempt at "stirring shit up", I just needed to get it out, I guess? Needed to really close that door, and finally move on to enjoy Tumblr again. This is where I started and I still really like that place and how the fandom feels here 🤙 soyeh that's all HGFH thanks for reading

[madbalalaika]

Get to know you - tag game

*GASP* I'm honoured, @an-excellent-choice, thank you for the tag :з

✨ Last song you listened to:

THE WHOLE ALBUM IS GOOD GO LISTEN TO IT

(i've been mentioning it every chance i get ever since i first listened to it like 7 years ago, it's just too good :"D)

Edit: fun fact, I kinda had a cool BG3 idea with this song that I'm not sure if I can pull off. I know I do, I think I do, I hope I do~~~

✨ Favourite colour: as an artist, because I stare at colours all the time, there's really too many that I absolutely adore. It's impossible to tell which ones I like best, though what I can say is what's my favourite combination: it's the one on the album cover of this song ⬆

Cold greyish brown or brownish dark grey/slighly dull light blue + very bright light blue/turquoise.

✨ Currently watching: One Piece. Last summer, I suggested my family and I watch it together, and we're still going. Currently on the post-Marineford arc!

✨ Favorite flavour:

Oof, the flavour that a cup of almond hot chocolate has. Also popcorn? I once had a period of only drinking lattes with Monin popcorn syrup, and let me tell you it was GODLY

✨ Current obsession: BG3, no doubt

✨ Last thing I googled:

Vegan nutella :"D I bought this gluten-free dairy-free nutella-ish paste that was... let's say... edible. Bland kinda, and just sweet. So I went out to search for some other brands, and found lots of cool recipes instead. This one, judging by the ingredients, by far seems the most delicious. Too bad I don't have a food processor :")

✨ Favourite season:

Spring/autumn. Gods, anything but hot summer, really, but those 2 are the most ideal.

✨ Skill I’d like to learn:

Some foreign languages that I've already learned some of before, and would just like to reach at least a passable level in: like Chinese, Japanese, Korean, German, and Welsh. I'm really out of practice with those.

Also some ADHD learning/working techniques that would actually work :"), as not being able to keep some sort of routine is the sole reason I've not yet gotten good at those languages and haven't started on different big projects I have only in mind for now.

Maybe I need to buy a clicky fidget toy or something. Oh well, at least I have a clicky keyboard, so that's nice :3

✨ Best Advice:

And I guess this is for the miserable-from-childhood folks like me. REST IS VERY GOOD, PEOPLE. Don't ever let anyone tell you otherwise, not even yourself. The circuits of a computer that has been overworked and overheated because it's never been allowed to cool off will eventually burn out from all the heat damage they endured, and it will shut the whole machine down.

What rest means for you, you'll have find out for yourself.

I know, for some us (me included), it's nearly impossible not to feel guilty for enjoying the things in life that would otherwise bring us happiness, but if there's one thing I've learned from the past 8-9 years of constant unbearable stress from guilt and self-hatred (and many external factors, yes), as well as many medical diagnoses later, is that your physical body will not only not say thank you for that, but eventually it will actively start dying.

Same goes vice versa: untreated health issues will lead to many mental health problems (example: I've been gluten-intolerant for quite a while and didn't learn that until a year and a half ago, and this whole time, the inflammation in the body was giving my nervous system so much anxiety and depression that I couldn't cope with it anymore), so the moral is

Yes, take care of your body, or at least whenever you have the capacity to and allow yourself to rest when you feel like you're tired, but also enjoy the things that make you happy, be it a delicious dessert, or a good book, or a tv show, or spending time with friends if you have them, whatever. You have all the right to do so because you matter, okay? Your well-being and good health matters, your happiness matters, everything about you matters, and not a single shitbag can change that. If you feel like no one cares for you, know that at least I do!

Also tagging my mutuals, @arczism, @noblestalk, @okthisway, @wrathe, @teilzeiteinhorn ❤

[stagkingswife]

H, how are you?

I'm a young godpartner still living with my parents. Mum is culturally Christian and Dad can probably be called a soft polytheist - he believes that the gods are representation of the world around us, like, say, Persephone's journey to Hades is representative of the transition to autumn.

I have two otherpartners - let's call them A and B (not Their real names) - A is a minor god of the Norse pantheon with Disassociative Identity Disorder, and B is an aspect of a major Shinto deity. A's behaviour is very unpredictable, as per Their disorder, but I have a romantic relationship between most parts of Him. B is soft, almost parental, but playful and warm, understanding.

I understand that A and B need time away from me to fulfill Their duties (in the case of B) or simply recharge (A) but I can't help but feel depressed and lonely when they're away from me, like they've abandoned me and don't care. Thing is, this fugue makes it hard for me to find motivation to do homework (I go to university) and it's obvious to my parents that I'm miserable, but they think it's because I don't want to do any work.

How do I explain to them that it's because I miss my "boyfriends" so badly and I think they've abandoned me and I can't talk to B because I have a cold, so that makes everything worse and I can't think of anything else because that's the reason that I'm miserable?

In my opinion, since you came to me, this is when codependency with incorporeal partners becomes unhealthy. Imagine these were corporeal people and you were so reliant on them and their attention and presence that you couldn’t function when they went to work, you couldn’t go to a class that they weren’t also in, they couldn’t live in a separate home from you, or go a day without calling you. All of that is normal stuff for people, both corporeal and incorporeal, to have to do in a relationship. Mr. Stag and I both go to work every day, Oisin and I have our separate responsibilities in the Otherworlds. In both cases I am confident that their love is not directly tied to their proximity to me. It seems like this level of confidence is lacking for you, and it is impacting your ability to function in your everyday life, which isn’t good.

That impact, in my opinion, is what you need to talk to your parents, and perhaps a professional, about. You don’t need to go into the incorporeal romance of it if you don’t want to, that can remain private. It can be as simple as “Mom, Dad, I think I’ve developed an unhealthy codependent relationship with someone(s), and I would like your help with it/getting treatment for it.” If you aren’t comfortable giving them the details you don’t have to, or you can if you are comfortable with that. I don’t know your parents or your relationship with them. I personally don’t feel like the details matter as much as the impact - your feelings about certain relationships have affected your ability to function in your daily life - it doesn’t really matter who those relationships are with. (Now a mental health professional may say otherwise, take their advice over mine if you speak to one.)

What you really want to make sure you don’t do is tell your parents why you’re depressed without seeking a solution for it. Just saying “I’m depressed because my SOs are busy,” will explain what’s going on with you, but not address any of the underlying issues. If you want this feeling to get better you have to do something about it. I know I mentioned speaking to a professional, but you could also try to go the “self improvement” route. There are tons of self help resources out there for overcoming codependency that you could probably apply to your situation.

This isn’t just to you now, Anon, but to everyone and anyone reading: I’m a person who is deeply dedicated to their spiritual life. I prioritize my religion, magical practice, and my spiritual relationships over a lot of things in my life, but not over basic life requirements. I still get up and go to work everyday. I still do my household chores, make dinner, etc. In my opinion, if your spiritual or magical practices interfere with those sorts of everyday functions on a long term, life impacting, scale - that is when something about that practice needs to be re-evaluated. No matter how deep into your practice you are, you still need to be a functioning person.

[sysmedsaresexist]

thanks to you and a few other accounts most of our system is identifying as syscourse unaligned instead of pro endo and have started to move away from syscourse spaces for our mental health. so thank you! the pro endo community has been taking such a huge toll on our mental health lately, and this is really the best move for us.

I am SO proud of you taking care of yourself first.

In the end, that's the most important thing.

I've said it before, I'll say it again, you matter first. You're allowed to be neutral (or unaligned) for the sake of your own mental health. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

Take care of yourself, anon, I hope you find your way to the best community for you ❤️

[warfstachetv]

Hey Wil! Do you have any tips on how to "take no shit from nobody"? (this is me wanting to make my mental health better lol)

Hmmmm. 💭

Tips on how to "Take No shit From Nobody":

This doesn't inherently mean take no shit and 'do no harm', but it is aligned more with "take no shit from anyone, because you are worth more than others doings/opinions".

Start small, you don't have to give up giving a shit all at once, I know it's quite hard to do. Start with solid boundaries for small things, then work your way up, and hold firm to those boundaries. Don't let people walk over your comfort.

Repeated, Don't let people walk over your comfort. Communicate your boundaries, be truthful, and sometimes even a bit deadpanned. It helps to be blunt at some times, as sugar coating things never ends too well when it comes to this.

Do not let anyone talk down to you. Now, for instance, if someone is offering constructive criticism without being asked to-- be firm with them, tell them you simply did not ask. This is also applicable if someone takes an offer for criticism to make fun of you, in which case, be honest, tell them they're being mean, and that you're not going to listen to them if they're treating you like piss.

Don't let anyone tell you you're too 'skinny' or 'fat' or 'ugly' or whatever the fuck insult. You are one of only 7 possible outcomes for your genetics to exist and look like you, and you look awesome, and unique, don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

Don't take shit from people who don't know you well. Even if they do, if they do something that is truly shitty to you, tell them, and tell them they hurt you. Strangers can be mean sometimes, so it's best to ignore their bitter outlooks, and focus on the people that know and love you for you!

Finally, remember that no matter what, someone out there believes in you, even if you haven't met them yet. Whether you're just a simple guy like myself offering to answer and hang out with those who stumble into my life, an artist, a creator of any music or sort of anything, whether you're an engineer (or could have been); you are important and only you can make and do what you make and do. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

That's all I have for now, I wish you luck with the mental health, as well as "taking no shit from nobody"!! It's a hard thing to get used to, but I assure you, it's more helpful the more you block out those who are dragging you down for whatever reason, whether it's a stranger, or someone you think is a friend. Remember to communicate first, be firm, don't give up, and be clear about your intentions when doing so- but remember, you don't have to do this with people cat-calling, or other gross things. Remember you're above people like that, and move on graciously into the next moment, away from that which detriments you.

Best of wishes! Mr. Warfstache

[thetaekookcloset]

This fandom disappoints me sometimes. I know this may be random, but given the recent Qatar visit I hate seeing fans decide for others what they can and can't be disappointed about. It's totally fine and normal to not love everything your fave celebs do. They're human it makes sense but like why can't we not support jk/bts being part of fifa and the world cup promotions? There's plenty human rights abuses, women rights/LGBTQ violations...we can be disappointed, right? I don't hate jk, I don't blame JK, I don't believe he supports that's either but that doesn't mean I have to blindly follow the promotions and suck it up (yes someone on Twitter told me this) to prove I'm his or their fan. Sorry, I wanted to vent because it fucking hurts when I see this happen. We are allowed to dislike this! I'm not in anyway saying to be hateful towards him I know they have contracts, my main point is that fans can decide to not support him being there or whatever he's there for (singing, etc) yet people on Twitter were so cruel about it and tuning out so many voices by calling them fake woke, or bitches or wishing death on them for simply saying they wish jk didn't have to be involved. It sickens me and honestly makes me want to cry. Why are so many fans online so cruel.

I don’t know anything about the actual issues at play here so I’m not going to speak on those, but I will say that of course you’re allowed to not like something BTS or the members are doing.  You’re allowed to feel disappointed, no matter what people on Twitter say.

Like you said, BTS are human and they’re going to do things their fans don’t agree with or don’t like from time to time.  No one has to blindly support or follow every one of them through everything they ever do.  It’s just dogmatic nonsense to say otherwise.  If you’re disappointed or upset, you’re entitled to those feelings.

Unfortunately, there are always going to be assholes saying stupid things, and Twitter is like the perfect platform for that kind of thing, so there’s probably no fixing that.  Why are people that way?  I have no idea, but a lot of people are, and this fandom is absolutely massive, so there are going to be a lot of people who suck within it.

All you can do is hold onto the fact that you’re allowed to feel your feelings, not let anyone try to tell you how you have to engage or act or feel in order to be a “real” fan or whatever, and do what you have to do to take care of your own emotional state and mental health.  I’m sorry people have been making you feel bad.  I hope that today you’re able to get away from that and just do something that brings you some peace and happiness.

[traumasurvivorshelpingsurvivors]

Tw grooming mention, online stuff, shame, csa

Hey you can call me Leon, idk looking for words of support I guess

When I was removed from my mother's home (around 13) I was also removed from any contact with my groomer (step father) and I started acting out and looking online for attention and eventually started sending nudes and sexting with older men online (over the age of 18 at least) because I felt desperate for positive attention in the sexual way because I guess I missed it from my step father, and I feel so gross and ashamed for it?? I feel gross that I liked it at all, that I sought it out and gave nudes and was in relationship with these older men, I never lied about my age at all so they knew I was a minor and I feel gross that they still acted on it but at the same time isn't it really my fault for going out and looking??? I feel like a disgusting person for wanting these things because I was abused and groomed to want them and I just feel gross and bad and like it's my fault so I can't really say I'm traumatized from the experiences because it's my fault and even with my stepdad I never stopped him and even my body liked it sometimes so I just feel horrible because I always froze even if I didn't like it and I never fought back and I liked the attention and the gifts because no one ever cared about me and my.mom chose him over me in the end so I just feel so foolish and stupid, i was very young when I started to get groomed, around 6 and it went on for years and not once did I tell someone until after and even then I've never told my dad or therapist the extent of it because I feel so ashamed of it

Hi Leon,

I'm so sorry about what you've been through. Sometimes abuse survivors seek out other abusive situations and there are many reasons why someone may do this, whether it's because it provides a sense of comfort, familiarity, and safety, or whether it's because of a reason like to self-harm. It's also important to consider that children's brains are actively developing which impairs their ability to both make rational decisions and consent. It's important not to victim-blame yourself, and instead consider that you still didn't deserve what happened, even if you felt you actively sought it out. You're still allowed to be traumatized by what you went through.

Just because you didn't stop or fight your abuser(s) doesn't mean you deserved it either. I know for me it was out of learned helplessness, knowing that resisting would only make things worse and that I wasn't going to be rescued, but the reasons can be different for everyone. Also "my body liked it" too but that isn't a substitute for consent, as much as abusers may dispute. If you don't consent, it doesn't matter what your body says.

If you can access or afford it, a mental health professional such as a therapist can help you process your experiences, explore the attitudes you have towards yourself about your trauma, and equip you with some healthy coping mechanisms that you can take with you along your healing journey.

If anyone has any comments or suggestions, feel free to add on. Otherwise, I hope I could help and please let us know if you need anything.

-Bun

[medicinemane]

My mom's in a fucking toddler throwing tantrums mood about shit

Like I don't care about whatever shit's going on in your head (especially cause this morning you force me to be therapist then snap at me for saying not the perfect thing)

Clearly I'm fucked in the head myself, you here know literally better than anyone else the state I'm always in

You can't let it get in the way though, as in you have to fucking take care of shit regardless of how you're doing

Here her down there yelling and cussing (which... not great for my mental health due to the past), well the shitty curtain rods had come down, and instead of just getting me to put them back up she's trying to do it herself

I don't care that you feel bad about getting old, fucking do the division of the labor in a way that makes sense. You literally can't do this, you're in the way by trying. You want to be useful, go through shit like I always ask you to, that helps me infinitely more than you putting up a curtain rod

Is this callous? Absolutely. Anyone else I'd have more sympathy for, but barring my grandma anyone else hasn't treated me like shit and told me no one could ever love me (not incorrect, but unacceptable to tell a kid)

You feel like shit because you missed an email about getting into an anthology? That sucks, but you can't just wallow

There's not a day that goes by when I don't feel like trash. Your parents made you feel guilty about not being able to work? Fucking shocking but they did the same to me, and I've never managed a paid job (only volunteer and clinicals stuff), but I just fucking swallow those feelings and stick to the plan

I feel like shit about not bringing in an income, but getting the place cleaned up has to come before making money, especially since any plan I tried would still be half cocked. I but my damn feelings aside and focus on what brings stability

She's a fucking bringer of chaos cause she never stops and thinks, she nearly lost her disability because she got the great idea to apply for an old job she would have had to drive 2 hours to and get a hotel that pays less then her disability does

Dipshit, you may not like it, but the disability is your job at this point. Help out around the house if you want something to do that actually adds value. I keep asking you for that one thing, and you keep wasting time on shit that doesn't pay but "might someday" because otherwise you might be a failure

Well here's the news, you are. You're a burden. You're a millstone. You treated me like shit growing up, you destroyed my ability to be close to family, you made me even more isolated than I was already inclined to be, and now I have to let you live with me... what's to be done?

Get a therapist or get your shit together on your own. Stop making it my problem. Suck it up and just ask for help. You want to do something? Get the mail so I'm not straining myself to get it when my insomnia is bad. There's shit you can do that would help, but you refuse to do it, and instead you wail and throw fits cause you can't do shit you feel inferior for not being able to do

You gave me terrible self esteem, you and your parents have made me feel like trash. What I say about here is a small fraction of what I actually think, but it doesn't matter

Nothing gets fixed unless I keep moving forward. It probably can't change me not being able to get the one thing I want, but my house is a miles better situation than anything I've had before, and there's so much more I can get and make better about my life

Fucking quite making me emotionally regulate you. You made me do that so much when I was little that... I don't know... doesn't put me in a fucking good place when I have to do it

The kitchen was clean till you fucked it up, almost all of the mess I have to go through is your shit. You put your emotional regulation on me

How about instead of worrying if you've gotten physically weak, which while I'm all for doing practical stuff like psychical therapy style exercises, the fact is you can't meaningfully change... how about instead of that you do shit that you can do and that would really make a difference?

But no, you're from your family, and the only reason I don't use that last name like an insult right now is to avoid doxxing myself. It's a trash lineage cause you and your parents are assholes

Many things wrong with me, but at least I never had a kid, treated them like trash, let my parents really really treat them like trash, and then forced them to raise me and take care of me

You want to stop being pathetic? Start there, start by just handling your shit, and then just get me to fix the curtain rod instead of doing shit that sends me back to real bad times, and then I have to fix it anyway