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minisugakoobies · 7 months

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The Rules - Part 1 | Bang Chan

Pairing: Bang Chan x Reader Genre: smut, crack, strangers to lovers, Weddingl!AU Rating: M (18+) Warnings: drinking, kissing, exhibitionism, reader gets fingerfucked in public, dirty talk, a little bit of praise, Fuckboi!Chan has a tongue ring and a lip ring, his charisma is off the charts, reader's got impulse control problems Word Count: 4K Disclaimers: NSFW, obviously I don’t own SKZ - they just inspire me

Summary: When your cousin asked you to be a bridesmaid, she gave you three simple rules to follow. Number one: Don't be late. Number two: Don't get super wasted. And rule number three: Don't fuck Chan.

A/N: This came from a request sent by @aprylynn back in, ummmm, let's not focus on how long this took and just enjoy 😆 This is just part 1, so let me know what you think - like if you want more! 💕

SKZ Masterlist

(dividers by @/saradika)

When your cousin asked you to be a bridesmaid, she gave you three simple rules to follow:

Number one: Don't be late. "To be early is to be on time. To be on time is to be late. To be late is to get cut out of the family. Don't think Halmeoni won't drop you from her will if I ask."

Number two: Don't get super wasted. "What if I have a bridal emergency and you're completely zooted, upchucking wine spritzers in the bathroom?" As if you'd drink a wine spritzer.

And rule number three: Don't fuck Chan.

She announced the third rule the first time you gathered with her and her other bridesmaids to discuss wedding details. Chan, it turned out, was her fiancé's "Best Bro" from his college frat days.

"Binnie was in a frat? Huh," was your response upon learning this new factoid.

Sun Hee rolled her eyes. "I know, it's weird, but he's grown up a lot since I met him. Chan, on the other hand…" she grimaced. "He's a fuckboy. Of the highest magnitude. S-class. A summa cum fuckboy."

"More like a someone's gonna come fuckboy, amiright?" maid of honor Ji-won snarked, cracking herself up, but she quickly stopped when Sun Hee gave her the evil eye.

"And that's bad because…" you drawled.

"Because every goddamn time one of my friends hooks up with his slutty ass, they completely lose their shit. And I! Do! Not! Have the time to deal with the fallout!" Sun Hee clapped her hands after each word, like a deranged cheerleader. "So keep your hands and your holes away from that man!"

At first, when you met the groomsmen at the engagement party, you thought to yourself that Sun Hee's rule was unnecessary. Apparently, Changbin only hung out with other ridiculously good-looking guys. Any one of them could probably show you an amazing time, if you so desired.

And then Bang Chan walked in.

Out of curiosity, you'd looked the guy up, scouring Changbin's insta for old photos. Just so you could see what all the fuss was about. It was pretty easy to identify why Sun Hee's friends were apparently throwing themselves at the man, between his muscular build, his warm eyes, and his heart-melting smile. And as a semi-famous music producer, he's a star on the rise, which only adds to his allure. But holy shit, you were not prepared for the charisma.

He strolled into the room in a leather jacket like he was walking onto a stage, radiating confidence from every inch of his rather thick frame, as if expecting an audience to start applauding at his presence. Maybe that's why you weren't surprised to see Changbin and his friends light up as they caught sight of their friend.

Of course, they weren't the only ones to notice him.

"Oh damn, look at the snack that just walked in," Ji-won whispered, tugging on your sleeve. "He's tasty."

"Yeah he is," another bridesmaid, Hae, piped up. "Is it too late to call dibs?"

"Gawi bawi bo!" Ji-won suddenly yelled, but you grabbed her hand as she threw a scissors symbol into the air.

"Sorry, ladies, but the bride's rules trump rock, paper, and scissors. That's Chan."

“That’s Chan? Well, shit.” Ji-won pauses. “Okay. Dibs on Jisung!”

“Wait a minute!”

Ignoring the horny squabbling going on beside you, you discreetly ogle Chan over the rim of your cocktail. Changbin really needs to update his insta, because you were not prepared for Chan’s blond hair. Or the lip ring. Or, fuck, you nearly choke on your old fashioned as Chan laughs and something silvery inside his open mouth catches your eye. Is that a tongue ring too?!

This man could not be more your type. Absolute catnip, and your kitty is eager for a taste.

Whoa now. Deep breaths. You can do this. You have to do this, because otherwise you’ll let your cousin down. You can practically hear her disapproving tone right now.

“Don’t even think about it.”

With a startled jump, you realize Sun Hee is standing next to you.

“Think about what?” you inquire, stirring your drink super casually. Like the most casually anyone’s ever stirred anything. Unbothered little rotations.

Sun Hee is not easily dissuaded. “Don’t play dumb. You know exactly what I mean.”

“I promise you, I’m not thinking anything.” If only that were true. You’d give anything to be head empty no thoughts right now.

“I really wish I believed that,” Sun Hee sighs. “We both know you have a problem with… self-control.”

You open your mouth to argue, but she merely points to the glass in your hand, and you quickly snap it shut. You’ve only been at the party for maybe half an hour, and this is your second drink.

Sun Hee’s not wrong. It’s well known to all your friends that you have a tendency to eagerly embrace all the delights life has to offer. Maybe “eagerly” isn’t the right word. “Greedily” might be more accurate. Often, unfortunately, to your detriment. But how can you resist, when the universe is constantly throwing so many pleasures your way - especially when they come in such gorgeous packages as Chan?

“Yeah, okay, maybe sometimes I indulge myself a little, but I told you I wouldn’t sleep with him, so relax, okay? I’m not going to do anything to ruin your big day. I promise you!”

Sun Hee squints as she examines your face. Whatever she sees makes her smile, shoulders dropping in relief. “Thank you. Now let’s get this party started!”

As she and Changbin greet their guests, you take another long look at Chan. He turns suddenly, catching your eye. Your breathing nearly stops when his gaze sweeps over you from head to toe. Then he smirks, tongue ring flashing as he licks his lips.

Fuck. Okay. You can do this. You just need to exert a little willpower. Reign in those bad instincts of yours. Should be a piece of cake.

Right?

Somehow, the god of parties is on your side. Maybe it’s the drink you spill as you look for a spot to sit for dinner that pleases them - your tipsy faux pas is accepted as an offering. Whatever the reason, you manage to dodge Chan all evening.

He does offer you the seat next to him at dinner, but Ji-won waves you over to her table, so you refuse him with a polite shake of your head. Ji-won quickly engages you in assisting her with talking to Jisung, but all you end up saying is “Hey Jisung, haaave you met Ji-won?” before Ji-won takes over. Gal’s a talker, which is good, because Jisung’s a bit on the quiet side. Or maybe he just can’t find a place to jump into the conversation, since Ji-won doesn’t appear to need to breathe in order to speak.

After dinner comes more cocktails and gifts. While the maid of honor hands out gifts for Sun Hee and Changbin to open, you ignore Chan’s smile in favor of writing a list of who brought what, to help your cousin with her thank you notes later. Your Halmeoni would be so proud.

By the time the festivities wind down, you feel you’ve dodged a bullet. As everyone says their goodbyes, you linger behind, helping your cousin and Changbin carry their ridiculous haul of presents into their car. The trunk is stuffed full as you attempt to shove one more box onto the pile, only for an avalanche of ribbons and envelopes to send it clattering to the ground.

“Here, let me,” a pleasant voice hums in your ear as your fingers extend, reaching for the box, only for it to be swept up by another hand. And, of course, that hand is connected to the man you’ve been carefully avoiding all night. Guess the party gods have abandoned you.

“Thank you,” you reply politely, studiously avoiding his eyes as Chan beams at you. Jesus, he could literally light up a room with that megawatt smile.

“No worries.” He helps to push some of the packages back, preventing another deluge. “I’m Chan, by the way. I didn’t get a chance to introduce m’self earlier.”

You grant him a quick smile as you state your name, then glance over his shoulder, looking for backup - someone you can excuse yourself to catch up to, pretend they’re your ride home. But of course, everyone else is gone now, and your cousin and Changbin are back inside the restaurant, settling the bill.

“Am I holding you up from something?”

“Hmm?” You finally let yourself meet his gaze. It’s like you’ve been hit with the full force of the sun. Chan’s smile intensifies, eyes crinkling as he laughs lightly, and it’s too late, you can already feel yourself melting.

“You look like you’re looking for something. Or someone?”

“Oh. No, sorry, I was just making sure I hadn’t dropped anything on the way to the car,” you lie, clearing your throat awkwardly.

Chan nods, sliding his hands into his pockets as he leans against the car. “So… you’re Sun Hee’s cousin, right?”

You nod.

“She told me that you live here too,” he says. “It’s been years since I’ve been in town. I was thinking - since I’m gonna be here a few times between now and the wedding, I should find someone who can show me around a bit. Let me know what’s good.” He rolls his tongue over his lip ring. “Think you could help me out?”

Every time he drags his eyes down your body, you have to suppress a shiver of anticipation. He’s being incredibly obvious about what he means by showing him what’s good.

“I - “ can’t think of a valid excuse because you’re too busy picturing what he can do with that tongue ring. “I don’t know how much free time I’ll have, with everything Sun Hee needs me to do for the wedding. She’s gonna be so busy. So, um, I don’t think I can. Help you.” Not your smoothest response, but not the worst, either.

Chan’s eyebrow rises slightly. He looks away, nodding. “Right, of course. Can’t let your cousin down, can ya? So…” He pushes himself off the car, taking a step towards you. “What about tonight then? Any plans?”

Not a single one. An alarm goes off in your head as he takes another step closer. “Tonight?”

“Yeah. Maybe we could go somewhere and talk? I know I could just ask ‘Bin for suggestions, but…” he shrugs. “He’s pretty busy too. And honestly? He’s gotten all mellow on me. Too boring and settled-down, y’know?”

You laugh at his bluntness. “Binnie’s always been this way, as long as I’ve known him. You’re telling me he used to be different?”

“Oh, you have no idea,” he hums, winking. “The stories I could tell… why don’t you let me buy you a drink, and maybe I’ll share a few?”

It’s very tempting, especially the thought of hearing some (hopefully) embarrassing tales about Changbin. Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad? One drink wouldn’t be too much, even given how much you’ve already had this evening. You’ll give him some suggestions of places to check out while he’s in town, he’ll divulge some of Binnie’s college shenanigans, and then you’ll say you’re tired and bounce. Easy peasy lemon squeezy.

And then suddenly it’s two hours and several drinks later, and you’re nowhere near home.

You had originally suggested going to a favorite spot, a bar owned by a friend where you could drink for cheap (and also potentially have someone who could bail you out if things with Chan got a little hot and heavy), but upon arriving had found it closed for repairs of some sort. Chan’s hotel just happened to be a block away and it just happened to have a really nice bar, so you thought, why not?

Why not, indeed, you’re thinking to yourself, playing with the melting ice in your empty glass. Why not sit side-by-side in the booth, so you can hear each other better? You really didn’t want to miss a single word he said. Why not let Chan drape his arm around your shoulders, since the bar has the air conditioning set to arctic blast and your sundress is not nearly as warm as its namesake?

Chan has been nothing but a polite gentleman since you sat down, keeping you laughing with all of his deliciously embarrassing tales, to the point that your worries about crossing the line so firmly set by Sun Hee fade from your mind.

“And after that, we were banned from ever visiting Ikea again,” Chan finishes, a crooked grin crossing his face as he waits for you to stop laughing.

You wipe a tear from the corner of your eye. “I cannot believe Binnie did that! That is… just the greatest story I’ve ever heard,” you inform him. “Thank you so, so much for sharing that.”

Chan nods, leaning back against the vinyl of the booth seat. “Now, you’re not gonna run off and snitch to Changbin, are you? Tell him I’ve divulged all his dirty secrets?”

You press your hand to your chest, looking scandalized. “Absolutely not! I would never. Everything you’ve told me stays with me.” You pause. “Until I need it.”

“Fair.” His grin returns, cheekier than ever. “If you’re gonna use it for blackmail, I will be expecting a cut. Just to warn ya.”

A server stops by your table to grab your empty glasses and drop off the check. It feels like the perfect opportunity to bring the night to a close - thank Chan for the drinks, since he didn’t even attempt to argue with you about paying, simply dropped his card on the tray, thank him for the gossip, and bid him a good evening.

But no. You’re you, and so instead of saying “Thank you” or “Good night,” you say,

“I think we could come to an arrangement.”

Chan tilts his head, eyes roaming from your smiling lips down to your goose-dimpled thighs and back, and you realize you may have miscalculated a bit. Because the sweet expression on his face has vanished, replaced by a look of hunger so ravenous, your pulse quickens - the primal reaction of prey realizing it’s exactly where a hunter wants it.

“Could we now?” He shifts slightly, the arm around your shoulders falling between you as he signs the receipt. He taps the pen on the table. “I like the sound of that.”

You do too, which is why there are klaxons suddenly blaring in your head. You should really leave. Instead of sliding further into the corner of the booth as Chan casually leans forward, blocking your view of the rest of the bar.

That’s when the hand that was at Chan’s side creeps its way onto your exposed thigh.

“I…” you trail off, totally engrossed by his fingers as they roam, unable to tear your eyes away. They’re more callused than you’d expected, roughened tips catching slightly on your soft skin in an enticing manner. “I do too.”

He’s just a whisper away now, deep brown eyes fixed on your mouth as he smiles, a warm thing that sharpens as he says, “Maybe we should hammer out some terms? Y’know, just in case? We don’t have to talk here…” His hand slips ever so slightly down the inward curve of your thigh. “We can take this to my room. For privacy. Unless…”

Sucking in a breath, you meet his eyes, and let your legs fall open just a bit. Chan huffs out a pleased laugh and his hand disappears beneath your skirt.

The klaxons in your brain are completely silent now, but thankfully the bar is not. The jazzy music drifting down from the overhead speakers covers your tiny whimper when Chan skims his fingers along the newly formed damp patch in your underwear.

“Mmm, someone seems to be into the idea of being touched in public. Are you into that, love?”

As a matter of fact, you are, and it’s one of the many vices that’s gotten you in trouble in the past. You just can’t help yourself. Just like right now, even knowing you should walk away, that you might make a mess of things, you’re unable to stop.

You don’t want to stop, so you nod.

He arranges himself so he’s propped his head up on his elbow on the table. To anyone looking at your table, it just looks like the two of you are absorbed in deep conversation, huddled close, but not close enough to cause anyone’s eye to linger.

Or so you hope, biting your lip to stifle a whine when Chan’s fingers push your panties aside.

“Good. Cause I am, too.” And then he’s pressed his finger inside you, groaning quietly at how easily it glides through your folds. His tongue plays with the small hoop nestled in the center of his plush bottom lip. “Oh, shit, you really like this. So fucking wet, dirty girl.”

There’s no reason to argue with him. If it wasn’t clear by the ridiculous amount of slick between your legs, it’s clear by the way you cant your hips forward, trying to urge him to slip his whole middle finger in too as he teases you with the tip. With a throaty chuckle, he obliges.

“There you go. Is that what you needed?”

“Mmm,” you hum, muffling your moan with pursed lips. He strokes inside you languidly, enjoying the choked breaths that punch their way out of your throat, before adding another finger.

You bow your head slightly, trying to hide behind Chan, who leans forward with a smirk, close enough for his lips to brush your cheek. If you turned your face a little, you could kiss him right now, but you’re too focused on the way he’s playing your pussy like one of his soundboards, tweaking and fondling just right, to do anything but try to breathe.

“Can I tell you something?” he whispers.

“A-anything.”

“I had my eye on you all during the party. Kept trying to get your attention, wanted to convince you to go home with me tonight. ‘M glad it worked out.”

“Who, hnngh, who said I’m going home with you?” you manage to spit out around your groans.

Chan’s fingers still. “Wait, you don’t wanna come back to my room?”

“I didn’t say that.” The look he gives you makes you feel dangerous, having such an irresistible man hanging on your every word. It’s such an intoxicating power. “I just meant I’m not convinced y-yet, fuck.”

You stutter as Chan starts tracing your inner walls, caressing your g-spot hard enough to make you curse. He’s accepted the gauntlet you’ve thrown down with surprising speed, and you suck on the insides of your cheeks, biting gently into your own mouth to keep from shouting out loud.

“Something you should know about me, love - ‘m a bit competitive. I don’t back down from challenges.”

Chan’s fingers plunge faster and faster, alternating thrusts with strokes. The more his speed increases, the more his arm flexes, biceps rippling under his tight t-shirt. If the bartender were to just glance over, he’d see the way your head is tipped back in ecstasy, and there’s no denying the pleasure flitting across your face. You could be caught so easily.

“Look at you, taking it so well. Bet you’d look so good taking my cock.”

Your eyes fall to the obvious bulge in Chan’s lap. You just know he’d feel so good. Why didn’t you take this to his room? You could be riding him right now.

Oh well, you’ll just have to let him keep fingering you until you cum all over his hand in the middle of this bar.

You’re getting close now, but his plunging fingers aren’t quite enough to give you what you so desperately desire. Unashamed to beg for what you want, you gasp out, “More,” hands balling into fists as tight as the knot inside you.

Chan smirks. His thumb finds your clit. You find the edge. And fall right over.

“Shiiiiit,” you groan, thighs twitching together, muscles contracting to trap Chan’s hand as an orgasm overtakes you, shockingly fast. So he doesn’t back down from challenges and he’s an overachiever.

“There you go, love,” he coos. Your abdomen shakes from the force of your climax. He slowly circles your oversensitive nub until he finally stops, and one final shudder passes through you. “Made such a mess for me.”

Your only response is a string of curse words that would send Halmeoni right to her grave. Chan laughs, bringing his hand to his mouth, and you swear again as he thoroughly cleans his fingers with his tongue, rolling the little stud over and around.

“Have I convinced you now?” he asks, eyes gleaming, tone smug. So, so smug. It’s almost shameful how hot you find that.

You’re definitely convinced of his skills. And if you go back to his room with him, there’s no telling what other talents he might share.

Then again… if he works this hard to impress you now….

With a polite smile, you gently pat his arm, silently asking him to give you some space to shimmy your panties back into place. His eyebrow lifts as he waits for your answer.

“Not really.”

Based on his dazed expression, it’s pretty evident that Chan has never gotten anything less than a rave response to his skills. How absolutely delightful. Your shoulders shake with suppressed laughter as he blinks at you.

“Thank you for the drinks. But I should really get going, got a ton of stuff to do with Sun Hee in the morning.” Not a total lie, since you do have plans for brunch with your cousin and the other bridesmaids. But brunch never usually stops you from anything.

“Come on, love - you really want to leave now?” He’s recovered from his shock, bringing a hand up to cup your cheek. “The night’s just getting started. That was just a small taste of what could happen.” He leans in, lips just brushing your ear as he murmurs, “Don’t you want more?”

Chan’s a fighter. Good to know.

“Mmm, maybe. But not tonight.”

He pulls back, searching your gaze. “You’re sure?”

“Yeah, I’m sure.” You laugh, nudging him with your knee. Chan slowly rises to his feet, shuffling aside to let you out of the booth. The stupefied look is back. Baffled hunter realizing his trap didn’t spring.

“Well… if you change your mind, you know where I am. Room 143.”

He rubs the back of his neck as he speaks, and there’s something kind of sweet about it, like he’s a little unsure of himself, possibly for the first time in his life, so you place your hands lightly on his chest. Damn, he’s so solid. He could definitely rail you through the wall of this bar, if you so asked.

But not tonight.

“Sweet dreams, Chan.” Your words warms his lips as you cross the space between you. Even though his hands grip your hips, even though his tongue tastes like scotch, even though the moan he exhales sends shivers from your head to your toes, you break away, and head for the door.

As you sit in the lobby, waiting for your ride, it’s impossible not to pat yourself on the back, gloating over your victory. You kept your promise to your cousin and got to tease an incredibly hot man into giving you an orgasm at the same time. But what strikes you the most was the wild glint you saw in Chan’s eye as you walked away.

This is going to be so much fun.

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#skz smut #stray kids smut #skz x reader #stray kids x reader #stray kids imagines #bang chan smut #skz fanfic #stray kids fanfic #skz x you #bang chan x reader #stray kids x you #skz imagines #skz scenarios #stray kids scenarios #bang chan fanfic #fic: the rules

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ncteez · 10 months

Note

beloved🥹 for ur sleepover could you perhaps consider #96 from that list (“I had this dream and- fuck- you couldn’t keep your hands of me.”) & vernon🫶 congrats on the 6k again you’re so talented and deserve the world and i’m so glad ur here🫶 - 🍿 x

Vernon + “I had this dream and- fuck- you couldn’t keep your hands off me.”

wordcount: 3.1k

tags: stoner!vernon, stoner!afab reader, clearly the use of smoking weed, awkward best friends who only share their attractions to each other when they’re zooted as fuck, no joke– weed is a personality trait in this.

warnings: mentions of anxiety and panic attacks.

note: hi my popped p(ussy)opcorn anon! i was rly excited to write this so i hope you like it even tho i went kinda overboard. not proof read, as you know.

You’re not entirely sure how you became so close with Vernon, the guy in highschool who definitely carried his lunch back to class in his pockets. Maybe it’s because college is hard, and Vernon is easy to be around. Kind of like a breath of fresh air except all the air you breathe in with him happens to be incredibly thick with smoke.

Never in your life did you consider weed as a personality trait. Not yours, anyway, until Vernon is around you. Honestly, it’s like being a burn-out during your down time is actually quite relaxing, as long as you keep up with your GPA and assignments, there’s nothing wrong with wake n’ baking. Or like, taking a few hits before a big exam to calm the anxious energy inside of you, right?

The thing is, it’s gotten to the point that you’ve smoked in all sorts of scenarios and find the least anxiety ridden experience to be the one where it’s just you and him, sitting outside of his shitty apartment and pretending like every college kid within a six mile radius can’t sniff the two of you out.

Peer pressure be damned, Vernon was the first one to ever pass you a joint at a random party you both happened to attend. You didn’t really know why you grabbed it because you swore to yourself that you’d be straight edge until you get a degree, and then you’d maybe try buying a bottle of vodka and a sack of weed just to see what you missed out on. It was something about that night, your first college party, the first familiar face at a party, and the urge to say fuck it.

You didn’t mean to actually inhale it, but somehow it was a natural thing your body did and Vernon didn’t even laugh at you for choking. That’s when you became friends with him, and ultimately over the months the two of you would often run into the other.

Your first weed-induced panic attack was at a party with him, and he was honestly so fast to get you out of there without so much as knowing where you needed to go. Calming you down and very aware that you probably smoked too much, and had a little too much to drink as well. The weed wasn’t laced, he said, the alcohol wasn’t spiked, he assured. Somehow, and someway, his fried ass got you through it and the night ended much better as the two of you sat in a random person’s back yard picking their grass and talking about gods, and universes, and the theory of giants roaming the earth in ancient times.

By now, he should know you don’t prefer the parties. It doesn’t stop him from trying to include you every single time though. Tonight was just another invitation, one in which you declined.

Why? Smoking around other people isn’t fun. It makes you paranoid and uncomfortable. Being hit on ruins the fun too. Plus, the music is almost always trash.

Vernon: why won’t you come?

You: you know i don’t like smoking in groups

Vernon: but free weed :(

You: just bring some over when you’re done doing whatever you wanna do.

The way he does just that. Appearing at your door a mere four hours after he told you he was leaving for the party and smiling at you with already reddened eyes.

“Free weed,” He starts, patting his jacket pocket and then stepping inside. “And snacks.” He adds, revealing a bag from behind him that contains the majority of snacks the two of you tend to gravitate toward.

“God, just how much did you spend on the food?” You laugh, reaching for the bag and peeking inside. “Wait, why are you trying to butter me up?”

He scratches his ankle with his socked feet for a moment, avoiding eye contact with you and then shrugs again.

“Because you’re my best friend?”

“Vernon, you never buy the snacks.” You narrow your eyes at him.

Another shrug before he defensively pulls the bag back, only to immediately toss it onto your counter and make himself at home in your living room.

“Seungcheol disappeared with someone for a while and forgot that I know where his stash is.” He says, pulling out the little bag of definitely stolen weed. “I’ll pay him back later.”

You make your way next to him, immediately smelling the scent.

“How does he always manage to find the good stuff?” You ask with a chuckle, reaching forward to grab the candle lighter from your coffee table.

“Fuck if I know.” Vernon is too focused on inspecting the buds he managed to pluck out of the original stash then turns to you. “Bong or blunt?”

You look around.

“Well, we aren’t at your place so unless you want to get kicked out of school I suggest we just roll a blunt and step out on the patio.”

Obviously, he’s already high and probably forgot that your place isn’t his, or that his place isn’t also yours.

“Smart girl. Always keeping me on the right path.” He compliments with a nod and a smile. “Do you have any wraps?”

That, you do. Because of course you do.

“Mango good?”

A nod.

And you know, Vernon never was good at rolling blunts but they all smoked the same anyway. You didn’t mind the small bud leaves sticking to your lips by the time half of the blunt was smoked and you’re all curled up on the patio with your best friend beside you.

It’s kind of weird, actually, how many times you’ve been high out of your mind and looked at him like this. It’s probably because the two of you always smoke together in the early morning or when the moon is out. You still remember the first time you looked at him this way.

You crashed at his house after a particularly bad party and he woke you up from the couch that next morning offering a parting gift before he walked you home. After all, it was only a few streets away. His hair was a fucking mess, and his eyes were so drowsy with sleep that you could tell that he was even more groggy than you were to be awake. The morning sun burned his eyes, and likewise for you. You could see them glisten through the pain of light penetrating his pupils, and you could hear the way his nails scratched at his bed head after a winded stretch. His oversized hoodie offering the look of a particularly comfortably, but pissed off best friend for waking up so early.

The smoke inhaled more smoothly that morning, and his smile seemed a little brighter than usual too.

Right now, as you look at him, he’s in that exact same oversized hoodie with a beanie covering the hair he likely decided not to brush today. Despite a party, despite being out and about, he’s just….Vernon. With his febreze scented everything to hide the smell of his burn-out ways, and his stupid eyes that are always glassy and offering a watery, sparkly look.

“What the fuck are you looking at?” He half-giggles under the discomfort of your gaze. Feeling a little insecure, in all honesty.

“Oh, sorry.” You shake your head in a way to shake your thoughts of the constant fondness you feel for him. You’re not entirely comprehending that you admire him, you just happen to like noticing things. “I zoned out.”

“I can see that.” He smiles, turning away from you and facing the night sky. “It’s muggy out here, we should go back inside. We can finish the rest of this later?”

You nod, staring him down. Only he would wear a fucking hoodie in humid ass weather like this summer offers. He should know by now that even at night, it feels disgusting outside.

It’s silent save for a few laughs as the two of you make your way back inside. The air conditioner hits your skin in a wonderful way, bringing goose bumps and causing you to let out a small shiver.

“So much better,” You nearly sing-song out as you flop yourself down on the couch, your body feeling that familiar heavy feeling. “Do you think Seungcheol has noticed by now that you stole his weed?”

“Nah, he usually gives me some anyway since I’m always sharing with him.”

That’s fair. Still, the whole idea of stealing it felt dangerously funny and weirdly attractive.

“Thanks for coming over by the way, I’m glad you weren’t too tired.” You smile, zoning out entirely by now.

Vernon hums out a response, now flopping down next to you and just lying there to feel the high he’s always chasing.

The silence is short lived though, as he starts laughing out at nothing. You turn to look at him, waiting for some sort of joke or explanation of what he’s thinking about.

“What’re you thinking about?” You say, almost laughing with him because it’s kind of contagious.

“I just, like, it’s so stupid actually–” He starts, laughing out a breathy type of laugh and then taking in a breath to be able to speak again. “I was just thinking about how like, I had this dream the other day and it was literally just my old communications professor running away on stilts.”

Okay, now, hold on. That image is actually hilarious and it kind of sends you into a laughing fit too.

“What the fuck?” You laugh, wondering what he must be thinking about all the time to have dreams like that. “I never have funny dreams, mine are always scary or like…”

You trail off in a very obvious way, but thankfully Vernon isn’t amazing at finishing your thoughts or picking up on hints as to what you may have been about to say.

Until like, fucking now apparently.

“Oooooh,” He laughs, looking away from you. “You got a spicy dream to share?”

Man, you’ve got plenty but probably none that he’d be too interested to hear about.

“Nah, nothing of note to really mention.” You say back, the laughing fit calming itself within you.

“Well, that’s some bullshit. I have some pretty wild dreams, the sex ones can be kind of funny too.”

Oh, your ears perk up.

“What’s the funniest one you’ve ever had?” You ask, narrowing your eyes at him.

“There was this one time I had a dream about Mingyu’s cousin.”

You dead-pan stare at him in shock.

“I’m gonna tell on you.” You say, but he completely brushes you off.

“No! I mean, it’s not like I enjoyed it actively, but whoever I was in that dream was really going to town. I mean I was like, man–” He pauses, remembering the dream. “I’m pretty sure my dick was crying when I woke up because if I remember correctly, she was gnawing on it like a piece of beef jerky.”

You snort and roll your eyes.

“You’re totally the type to get off on some weird shit like that. Oh my god. Do you ever have a normal dream? Or like, a normal thought for that matter?”

He stares at you and you swear you can see his cheeks fan over with a blush.

“Well….” He says, trailing off. “I mean, yeah. Of course I do, but you seem to like the funny ones the most.”

“Okay, then try and tell me a normal one and let’s see how it goes.”

Normal to Vernon may not be normal to you, but also he can’t tell if you’re referring to a sex dream or not. He’s not entirely the type to shy away despite feeling a little shy.

“Sex dream or non sex dream?”

You think hard about which type of dream you want him to describe to you (no you don’t.)

“Sex dream.”

He smiles, flicking his eyes to the bag of snacks on the table but opting to give it some more time before he starts eating like a damn goblin.

“Let me think of one, hold on.”

You sit there patiently, which probably doesn’t look very patient considering you quite literally turn your entire body to face him and rest your chin on your palm as if you’re expecting some inception styled sex or something.

“Um…” He trials off, remembering very little of most of his sex dreams besides, well, the one he had of you. But to be fair most of them are about you, and he sees you so often that they’re kind of hard to forget.

He can’t just tell you that though. He might be fucking zooted but he’s not an idiot.

“Last week I had this dream about you.”

Okay, maybe he’s an idiot.

“Oh? Me?” You adjust your posture even more to that of interest, for no reason other than curiosity. You’re a bit flattered.

“Yeah but that’s probably not one you wanna hear. There’s also one I had about–” Right, that one was about you too. “Or maybe…” Still about you.

You narrow your eyes.

“Just tell me the damn dream. I wanna know if I was any good.”

Vernon, for the first time in what feels like years, is experiencing extreme awkwardness. Nervousness. Dare he say, anxiety. Probably because of the way you blink at him with some type of expectation for this to be totally normal. Definitely a situation where he shouldn’t be feeling shy or even slightly turned on simply for thinking about all of those dreams he pretended he never had when you were with him.

Why did he have to tell you about this? Because now he has to actually tell you about it.

You watch him and the way he’s acting, noting that glimpse of nervousness and reaching forward to clap your hand on his knee.

“Vernon, it was a dream, it’s not that big of a deal. You’ve been in a few of mine too.”

Well, that’s both comforting to him and terrifying because if he was in your dreams, the vernon in your head probably couldn’t even get you off. Which is fucked up of him.

“If I tell you, you gotta tell me one of yours then.”

You nod, resuming a more slouched posture and preparing to listen to him and his god awful story telling.

Except, it’s not awful. In fact, you can see him physically react to the images in his head as he re-tells the story. Those little movements in his legs? They don’t go unnoticed.

“Last week, I had this dream and–” His eyes closed as he leaned himself against the couch, bouncing one leg up and down as if to calm his energy. He remembers it so clearly, and it’s kind of hard to admit with you right next to him. “Fuck,” He sighs out, ultimately choosing to leave the real life situation and instead live in his head for a few moments.

Then, he opens his eyes and looks at you.

“You couldn’t keep your hands off of me.”

There’s a swirling inside of your belly at the way he is telling you this dream. One that makes you feel as though your initial reaction to his reaction isn’t so wrong after all. The dream turned him on.

He liked it.

He probably wanted it to happen after he woke up.

“Then what happened?” You ask in a voice much smaller than you intended.

Another sigh comes from him as he closes his eyes again, thinking hard about how detailed he should be about it.

“Are you really wanting me to go into detail about how I dreamed about us fucking?”

You nod immediately, and then try to offer some form or relief.

“If you don’t want to, that’s okay. Can you at least tell me if I was any good?”

The way his eyes stay closed as he hums out. He is thinking. Very hard.

“Well, it’s the only thing I’ve been jerking off to since it happened so I could argue that, yeah, you were pretty good.”

You weren’t expecting him to admit how real he made the dream in his waking life. It’s an image he seemed to cling onto, and now, it’s an image you kind of want to cling onto as well.

“Then tell me what happened.”

“I think I’ve admitted enough, it’s your turn now.”

Suddenly you feel shy. Yeah, it’s just a dream and all of that but now, seeing the way he seemed to really enjoy fucking you while being asleep, maybe you can admit to have liked the dream you had about him too.

“We were in your living room and you went down on me. Absolutely rubbed one out when I woke up. Now, continue with yours.”

The fucking whiplash he gets from those string of words only drives him to continue.

“Oh how funny, I also went down on you in my dream too.” He tries to be normal about it, you can tell. “Would’ve been nice if I could actually taste it but as you know, I was like, asleep, and you’d probably never let me do that anyway.”

The side eye he gives you after saying that is almost hilarious. Almost.

“Well, were you any good at it?” You ask, leaning back against the arm of the couch and also pretending to be very normal about this sudden shift in friendship.

“I’d say I was. Are you as vocal as you were in my dream?” He prods, still side-eyeing you.

“Oh, most definitely.”

He watches the way you lean back, the way you squeeze your thighs, the way you look a little flushed and he’s sure it’s not just the high doing it.

“In my dream, you were also really wet for me.”

That, you can believe.

“I’m really wet right now.” You admit in a monotone voice, staring straight at him and the way he turns his face away from you.

“I’m also really hard,” He whispers out, not at all hiding the fact that his length is showing blatantly through his jeans. “We could, um, maybe…”

He didn’t even have to finish the sentence before you move yourself directly next to him, almost on him. You lean your head on his shoulder, feeling how warm he still is in this hoodie. You reach your arm up, pull off his beanie, and ruffle his hair once before smiling.

“Are you going to eat me out first?”

It’s the way he nearly chokes, drowsy eyes no longer staring into space but staring directly at the way his cock twitches as your voice asks him such a thing.

He nods.

“Yeah, yeah.” A cough. “Yes.”

#[sleepover]#vernon smut #[m]#[h.hours]#[vernon]#I HOPE YOU ENJOY <3

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zorosleftmantit101 · 11 months

Text

One piece men on zaza

Characters:

C/W: drugs/ Zaza 🍃

A/N: i love Zaza

Luffy: gets the munchies IMMEDIATELY is walking around the kitchen like a dumbass looking for snacks.

Sanji: makes edibles and Luffy comes in and eats all of them. No zaza for Sanji 😞

Zoro: starts fighting inanimate objects.

Kid and killer: listen to hardcore metal absolutely zooted out of their mind just chilling.

Shanks: tried that zaza. projectile threw up everywhere did not try that zaza again.

Ace: their is not a single moment this man isn't on zaza ESPECIALLY greasy ace man has a bong with hearts on it.

Law: another avid zaza user ik this man can not deal with kid and Luffy's bullshit without being on cloud nine.

Buggy: tried it with mihawk and crocodile and coughed up and absolute lung. His eyes get SO bloodshot 😭

Crocodile: belly laughing watching buggy cough a lung after taking a hit. takes a lonnnnnng drag and blows it all over Mihawks face who is NOT happy about it.

Corazon: twerks A lot

#zorosleftmantit #one piece #one piece x reader #one piece funny #one piece headcanons #headcanon #one piece x you #monkey d luffy #god usopp #crack post

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jihopesjoint · 1 year

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I’m sorry if someone has already asked you this but I just discovered your blog and I have to know what your headcannons are of BTS while high

anon… NO ONE has asked me this yet!!!! and you have my whole entire heart for taking one for the team and doing god’s work. i have treated this ask with the utmost importance and i only hope that i don’t disappoint you. also i'm sorry this took me literally all day LMFAO let me just open this with a blanket statement: the sheer number of bangtan giggles that there would be. i think i would die. anyway. onwards and upwards

namjoon

tbh my boy namjoon already speaks like he is stoned. he is ALWAYS waxing poetic and having an existential crisis, and that would increase tenfold if found holding a blunt. he’s making connections, he’s drawing conclusions. the empty chip bag that he has just devoured is definitely a metaphor for fame and how people take everything they love from you and then there’s nothing left for yourself. he’d sit on that for about five minutes before feeling guilty for thinking such thoughts about HIS army, who always refills his metaphorical chip bag.

seokjin

think of the windshield wiper laughs. OH he would be making the stupidest jokes (yes more than he already does). he gets great pleasure from jokes that make people groan. in seeming direct contrast, our gamer guy would be absolutely COUCHLOCKED. but he’d find that for some reason he just isn’t as angry at failures/deaths as he would be sober. and he thinks, “is THIS peace? have i never known it before this moment?” he didn't think he could get any more go with the flow than he already was. but if you think he’s not paying attention to the room around him, think again. he's making fun of everyone else losing their minds, all with eyes glued to the screen.

yoongi

oh bro. yoongi? he’s already an encyclopedia of useless knowledge, sprinkled with existential dread and hatred of the system. my man is ranting and RAVING about the capitalist machine. he doesn't understand why people have to work themselves to death to survive with no opportunity to enjoy life. he's pissed about the fact that he now benefits so greatly from a system he initially set out to be publicly against. and then he'll go on for 15 minutes about stucco, no transition. he's also hearing the most mundane sounds and recording them on his phone because they'll be perfect samples for a track. and then when he listens back to them the next day, he'll be like "what the absolute fuck was this?"

hobi

hobi for the first 20 minutes of the high is a silent observer. it's a little overwhelming right at the beginning, so he's probably a little in his head. he's just taking everything in. but after he crests the peak, he is loosey goosey. music has never made him want to dance more, and he didn't know that was possible. our boy's taste in music is made for getting stoned to. he's wiggling over to the snacks, wiggling with the snacks in his hand. falling to the floor, shouting with laughter when he sees how absolutely ZOOTED his members are. after he wipes the tears from his eyes, he sees yoongi sampling the sound of the ice maker and immediately goes over to be his ultimate hype man.

jimin

park jimin. my sweet baby. he knows that mama didn’t raise no bitch, so he’s taken extra hits after everyone’s tapped out. his eyes are basically permanently shut. for the life of him he cannot stop giggling. he’s in that every single thing that happens is funny mode. can’t hold himself upright. we’re talking hands on shoulders, we’re talking heads in laps, we’re talking falling to the floor. kim taehyung is the funniest person to exist in his eyes (yes more than normal). usually he cringes at himself speaking affectionately about his members, but all inhibitions are gone. he loves them SO MUCH, and he’s absolutely not going to shut up about it. he’s making grandiose plans for them to never get around to doing together because they’re not actually reasonable.

taehyung

taehyung is also thinking thoughts, putting things together. we're talking about the brain that brought us borahae. of course, for one good realization, you have to have about one hundred terrible ones. think of the highest thought you've ever had, or have ever heard someone else have, and you might have stepped inside the anomaly that is kim taehyung's head. some shit like, "what if birds aren't singing and they're actually screaming because they're afraid of heights?" and of course, jimin is fully ready to take this thought that he accidentally vocalized, turn it into a bit, and beat it into the ground. legend has it they're still figuring this out.

jungkook

on his most productive day, our maknae is operating as head empty, no thoughts. so there's no doubt in my mind that he's staring at the wall. not a damn thing is happening up there, i promise you. he's just realized AGAIN that he has hands, but he has no idea what to do with them. because he's completely unaware of what's going on in the room around him, he's interrupted taehyung and jimin's bit to ask them what he should do about his hand predicament. but while he was trying to get their attention, his hand brushed over one of the blankets on the couch and goddamn is it not the softest thing he's ever felt. so his focus has shifted entirely to feeling this blanket. rinse and repeat.

#that taehyung thought was from a meme i saw ngl #anon thank you so much for trusting me with this question #bts #bts headcanons #kim namjoon #kim seokjin #min yoongi #jung hoseok #park jimin #kim taehyung #jeon jungkook #rm #jin #suga #j hope #jimin #v #jungkook

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