#zoro: wtf is your problem

[wholecakes]

zoro who is so caught off guard by sanji’s kinder actions towards him is one of my favorite tropes. sanji crafting him specialized post workout snacks personally adjusted for him but still down to fight and call him names. he’s still the biggest asshole zoro has ever had the displeasure of knowing, and he’s horribly considerate. he’s a little confused but doesn’t reject any of sanji’s specialized treats. it’s not like sanji is fawning and doting over him like he does nami, so zoro feels like he can cross off sanji actually liking him from his list of reasons as to why sanji is acting like this. but it’s still fucking strange..

meanwhile sanji is in his kitchen wondering how zoro hasn’t taken a damn hint yet

[wonderlandsakura]

YES EXACTLY I JUMPED UP AND DOWN AND SQUEALED WHEN I SAW THIS I'VE READ SO MANY WCI ZOSAN FICS NOT ONE DO THEY TRIP AND ACCIDENTALLY END UP MARRIED THEY DON'T EVEN HAVE TO BE DATING I JUST WANT THEM TO ACCIDENTALLY END UP LEGALLY BINDED AND THEN HAVE TO DEAL WITH THE CONSEQUENCES (AND THEIR FEELINGS) I NEEEEEEEEFFFFFFED THIS

sorry idk what happened I went crazy with the giggles. closest thing I've read so far is that one oneshot where chopper slips up and says zosan is married and they're pre-relationship and Sanji doesn't get abducted from zou as a result.

you wanted zoro to be on whole cake island to fulfil your weird desire to see zoro punish sanji. I wanted zoro on whole cake island because I think he's stupid enough to right place wrong time the plan and accidentally marry Sanji in full view of the whole wedding party in what becomes the most elaborately constructed comedy of errors ever written. we are NOT the same.

[help-i-need-a-cool-username]

Want a fic thats post-Winner Island where the Hearts manage to get away or its set after Law and Bepo retrieve their crew but either way the haki negating the devil fruit was temporary and the Hearts are still women

The fic would include the typical "wtf is my body" and preparing to go after Blackbeard for revenge/the cure

Here are some great moments to include:

Ikkaku is DELIGHTED in the beginning but by day four she's irritated by all the questions and basically holds a sex ed presentation to explain FAQs

Everyone raiding Ikkaku's closet. Theres TWENTY heart members all her clothes are GONE

Law remembers Penguin & Sachi's joy at the prospect of teasing Law way back in the beginning and he will NOT let it go (Sachi: *is pissed* Law, smirking evil-y: you're cute when you're angry Sachi, experiencing karma: cAPTAIN)

At one point they rob a clothing store. They're joking around with lingerie and super frilly dresses. They rob a bra store the next night sulkily as they all wait their turn for Ikkaku to size them bc last night they didnt try on anything before they stole it and wouldnt stop complaining about how uncomfortable they were all day

Ikkaku walks into the bunk room to see half the crew topless and comparing who has the biggest boobs

The first person to get their period is faced with teasing. Two days later most of the crew is on their period. Law as a doctor INSISTS that synced periods are a myth. No one believes him anymore. Ikkaku holds a second sex ed meeting because no one listened to her presentations on pads and tampons the first time. Anyways that week IS UTTER HELL. Ikkaku keeps throwing painkillers at complainers

The crew ABSOLUTELY 100% thinks just bc they have boobs means they can get free drinks at bars. It quickly becomes a competition. It quickly becomes a problem

Luffy: if you're a woman now do you still have a dick? Law: no Luffy: BLACKBEARD STOLE YOUR DICK

The crew experiencing those moments from puberty when you first notice 1) you cant cross your arms the same way as before 2) you keep knocking your hips into things and bruising them 3) it didnt matter how lose this shirt/pants was before now im wider in certain places and its stretching out

Sanji: OHHH LAW-CHANNNNN Law: for the last time im STILL A MAN i just happen to have tits now

Theyd absolutely get stuck in bras bc they dont know how to use them. They werent using them at first but like its OP they all have huge boobs and can only go so long without support

Law having to retrain himself because his balance and strength have been re-proportioned (Law: im a woman now, im weaker. I'll never be as strong as a man! Zoro: not this bullshit again)

Penguin: if this doesnt work do you think Captain can give us bottom surgery? Law, in his room, struggling to get out of a bra: *contemplating preforming top surgery with his sword right tf now*

The updated bounty posters

[airplanned]

Terrible AU of the Day: Howl's Moving Castle AU

In which Sanji is Howl, and Zoro has squatter's rights in the moving castle.

Okay! So!

The big challenge in this AU is that Sanji could do so many Howl things, but Zoro is nothing like Sophie. Zoro's whole thing is that he's driven and focused and determined. Sophie's whole thing is that she doesn't think she could succeed and so has no drive to do anything really. So instead of trying to bend my guy to fit into this and change him in ways that feel wrong, I'm just gonna drop Zoro into this narrative, and I think it would be funny.

Zoro's the oldest of three, with younger sisters Kuina and Tashigi. (Bear with me) Their dad owns a hat shop, but it's not doing well, so the kids all have to stop going to their fancy school and get apprenticeships. Kuina gets sent to the local bakery, and Tashigi gets sent to a nearby city to learn magic from a fancy witch lady. Neither of them are happy with this, and very quickly secretly switch places so Tashigi can hang around the forge near the bakery and Kuina can train with her swords out of sight of their over-bearing dad. There's no magic involved in their switch. They just look similar and no one notices. Zoro is supposed to work in the hat shop and eventually inherit it. Zoro hates this idea. He's going to be the world's greatest swordsman.

One day, Mihawk comes into the hat shop to buy a hat, and Zoro challenges him to a duel. Mihawk agrees that they should meet out on the hills to fight and then kicks his ass. While bleeding out in the grass, the moving castle trundles by, and Zoro crawls inside. Chopper is there and freaks out and stitches him up, and now Zoro lives in the moving castle.

There's a fire demon in the grate. Its name is Zeff and it's a grumpy old shit and has some kind of curse on it. Zeff tells Zoro that he better fucking break his curse, and Zoro's like, "That sounds like a you problem." But it's kinda in the back of Zoro's head now, so he's sorta keeping an eye out.

(Possible: Sanji comes in and sees Zoro and goes, "WTF? You're not a beautiful, strong willed woman disguised as an old lady." And Zoro goes, "Nope." "Are you going to offer to clean the castle?" "No." Sanji doesn't know what to do about this.)

Sanji goes out flirting with ladies, and it's very annoying, and Zoro, Chopper, and Zeff all know he's not getting any. Sanji's vain and spends a lot of time in the bathroom, and one time Zoro moves his stuff around and Sanji accidentally dyes his hair black. He looses his shit. Sanji's very attached to Zeff, and Zeff wants Sanji to go do his own thing. Sanji cooks a bunch of eggs and bacon on Zeff's head. Sanji sings a song in a *foreign, magical* language. The song is about saucepans. Sanji begrudgingly takes care of Chopper and Zoro, but either ignores them or acts deeply put upon. Sanji has a bunch of pseudonyms for the different cities where he practices magic. He can go to a different universe to see Reju, who is like, "OMG, Sanji. I am begging you to please finish your PhD and get a real job, so I don't have to keep making excuses for you."

(Possible: Luffy also shows up and moves in without being invited. Kinda like the dog. But not. It's just Luffy.)

Zoro has conqueror's haki. Instead of talking things into life, he shouts at things. In the end, he does break Zeff and Sanji's curse this way.

[smartass-hoot]

watching these new one piece fans trash talk Vivi by saying she did nothing and that she's worthless/useless is hella annoying. like, even besides the obvious misogyny,, bruh did we even watch the same anime???

vivi is the only reason why the straw hats were allowed onto drum island. even assuming the straw hats fought their way onto the island, there would have been zero chance of them finding out about the doctor since it was the villagers who told them about her in the first place. without that, nami would have died, and we all know how essential she is to finding the one piece. also chopper wouldn't have joined the crew

yes, vivi asked luffy's help to save alabasta, but so did nami with Coco village and so did literally so many other people. i don't see y'all trash talking them??? and who TF said asking for help is a sign of weakness/uselessness? putting aside your ego and acknowledging your shortcomings is a sign of a strong character, tf

the people of alabasta have FAITH in vivi. they listen to her and they love her, which isn't something that is easy to do. the leader of the rebel gangs is her childhood best friend. she has connections (not gonna spoil anything) and those connections are her strength because she can call upon her allies and they will. fucking. answer. that's not something your average Joe could pull off, bitch

vivi is painfully weak and she sucks at being an agent. even in baroque works she was the lowest rank,,, but take a step back to see the bigger picture: vivi is self aware that she can't do shit, and yet she was willing to risk her life to save her country. she was willing to throw away her morals, work for the enemy, risk dying a horrible death or worse, even though there was little to no chance of success. THAT is called determination. THAT takes guts. THAT is a quality that would make her a strawhat

literally EVERYTHING about vivi's past interaction with that celestial dragon shows how mature she is, how much responsibility she bears on her shoulders as a princess (mind you she's even younger than Luffy) and how she can stay brave even when she's terrified. we praise usopp for that, and I won't stand for these double standards

one thing that's slightly more subtle is the drum island scene where vivi shows Luffy that fighting isn't the only way to solve your problems. i feel like this impacted Luffy at least to a certain extent because he actually considers alternatives before fighting now. of course patience was taught to Luffy because of shanks (first chapter of the manga) but it really felt like vivi reinforced that to Luffy

and I'm not even gonna bother with the post wano stuff cause those are heavy spoilers but the point is she's fucking badass and awesome and important and y'all are only embarassing yourselves and making it obvious that you're new 'cause the real ones know and appreciate our desert princess

also wtf is y'all's problem with vivi when Luffy and the rest of the strawhats have already acknowledged her??? they fucking love her so much to the point where they'd dunk on zoro for showing her 'tough love'. I can't help but think it's the Sakura treatment and I will not let another kind girlie be judged to hell and back for her femininity and for "being weak/useless" when canon proves otherwise

[pinkapet-rates-anime]

I'm talking about One Piece again, not sorry. I'm never sorry for gushing about the best pirate show EVER!

How Luffy recruited his crew- abridged edition

The simplest but also the funniest way I can describe the way the crew got together.

Koby- The notorious sword fighter Roronoa Zoro is on this island! He hunted pirates, you should leave immediately!

Luffy- Hell nah, I want that guy on my crew! He sounds cool!

Zoro- Go away, I can handle this on my own!

Helmeppo- *Plans to break the deal he made with Zoro.*

Luffy- Hell no! *Saves Zoro.*

Zoro- If I had died I would never be able to be the world greatest swordsman, thanks I guess. I suppose your my captain now.

Luffy- This clown guy is annoying. *Beats up Buggy and helps Nami.*

Luffy- You should join my crew!

Nami- Ok! *Already planning to rob them blind.*

Luffy- *Meets a weird dude with a long nose, a slingshot, and a compulsive lying issue.*

Luffy- I like this dude.

Usopp- My island is being attacked by pirates!

Luffy- *Helps with the pirate problem.*

Merry & Kaya- *Gives them the Going Merry as a thank you gift.*

Luffy- Come on Usopp, I know you wanna join!

Usopp- Fine! I'll become a warrior of the sea, like my deadbeat dad!

The Crew- *Hops on a restaurant boat for food, and meets a weird chef with swirl eyebrows.*

Luffy- Hey, join us!

Sanji- Dude, no. I'm not leaving this restaurant.

Don Krieg- *Attacks the restaurant.*

Luffy- *Deals with it, as per usual*

Zoro- Fight me! *Says Zoro, to the greatest swordsman he could never hope to beat, because he has the crazy goal of being the greatest swordsman.*

Mihawk- *Severely wounds Zoro.*

Sanji- You guys all have dreams just as crazy as mine, might as well join you.

Nami- *Steals everything from the Strawhats to make money.*

Luffy- Nah, not gunna bug her.

Arlong- *Has somebody steal the funds to by her home island from Nami, to force her to basically continue being his slave.*

Nami- Luffy... help.

Luffy- *Zero questions asked takes off to go beat that dude Arlong just because she asked for his help.*

Luffy- *Almost dies doing this, but nevertheless the mad lad does it.*

Nami- I'll actually join this time, no more robbing you guys.

Nami- *Gets really sick and almost dies.*

Luffy- A musician can wait for now, let's get her help. *Almost dies getting her help*

Chopper- *Accidentally gets spotted by Luffy, who immediately sees a reindeer and thinks "Dinner!"*

Chopper- *Transforms to get away.*

Luffy- Holy shit, a monster! Join my crew!

Chopper- *Offended by being called a monster, runs away.*

Sanji- Luffy is a monster too. Dude is literally made outta rubber.

Chopper- *Sense of camaraderie, but not enough yet.*

Luffy- *Helps him see his adoptive fathers dream through.*

Kureha- Go on kiddo, join em.

Chopper- Fine! Also I'm a doctor!

Luffy- Sweet, we needed one of those!

Robin- Theres no point in living, my research is going nowhere. Let me die.

Luffy- Absolutely not! *Saves her by force.*

Robin- You forced me to stay alive, guess I'm your problem now.

Franky- *Steals all the money from the Strawhats so they can't afford to fix the Going Merry, or buy a new ship.*

Luffy- Dude wtf. *Wrecks his base, but the money is already spent and gone.*

Usopp- I see your willingness to move on from the Merry as a personal attack, but I won't tell you that. Byeeee.

Robin- *Lets herself get arrested and sentenced to death to protect the crew.*

The Crew- Oh helllll nah! Get back here!

Franky- *Kidnaps Usopp as retribution, not knowing the situation of him leaving.*

Franky- Dude your ship is about to fall apart, let her rest.

Usopp- I know that! But the Merry is important, and also I saw a ghost fix her once.

Franky- Dude that ghost WAS the Merry. She talked to you because she loves you guys.

Government- *Kidnaps Franky and Usopp too.*

Franky- You have good friends Robin, maybe you should just let them save you.

Robin- No, I'm doing this for them.

The Crew- We literally don't want you to do that.

The Crew- *Literally wages war on the government to get their friend back.*

The Going Merry- *Saves the crew before having a tragic funeral as sea.*

Franky- You guys need a boat. It just so happens I used the money I stole from you to buy this epic wood to make a boat out of. You guys practically payed, so you can have it.

Luffy- Awesome! Now join us!

Franky- No.

Literally like a fifth of the population of Waters 7- *Steals his speedo in an elaborate game of keep away to get him to go to the Strawhats.

Luffy- Join or you can't have these back.

Robin- *Twists his balls to force him to join.*

Franky- Christ, fine.

Luffy- Holy crap guys it's a talking skeleton! Let's go talk to him!

Half the Crew- Absolutely not.

Luffy- We are doing this y'all.

Brook- Hello! Miss may I see your panties? *Asks the 90 year old skeleton dude*

Nami- Wtf? Absolutely not.

Luffy- Join us!

Brook- Yes!

Half the Crew- Luffy no...

Brook- I can sing and play instruments!

Luffy- Fuck yes a musician, finally!

Brook- My shadow was stolen so I'd die in the sun. Can't join, gotta get it back, don't follow me, BYEEEE! *Runs on the water and leaves.*

The Crew- *Accidentally ends up in the same place Brook went.*

The Crew- Oh shit zombies!

Luffy- Awesome! I wish all these monsters would join the crew!

The Crew- Dude... why.

Half the Crew- *Gets their shadows stolen by the same dude who stole Brooks.*

Brook- Use salt, it works.

Luffy- *Beats up a giant zombie with his shadow in it, and then beats up the warlord who steals the shadows.*

Luffy- Brook, join us.

Brook- No, sadly I cannot. As the last living member of my crew, I have a duty to our friend the whale, Laboon.

Luffy- Oh that whale? We know him! I drew our Jolly Roger on his face, he's a buddy of mine.

Brook- Guess I'm joining!

Jinbe- Luffy, buddy, come to the fish man island and say hi!

The Crew- *Immediately causes chaos.*

Jinbe- Dude please stop.

Luffy- Haha, no. So who do I needa punch to get you to join us?

Jinbe- I can't dude. Love you man, but I have prior arrangements.

Luffy- *Fixes the problem on the island*

Luffy- Ok now join us.

Jinbe- Busy.

Luffy- *More chaos.*

Jinbe- Fiiiiine. *Severs Ties with the Big Mom crew and joins them.*

[nenepapasworld]

'Why are you gay?' This is long and angry, I warned you.

OP is my fandom for over 10 years, but till opla I was simply chilling on new manga chapters and sometimes fics/memes. After opla I needed to see all the new content. So, I'm fresh into the new wave of OP, because of liveaction, and I'm already exhausted from 'gay labels' fans seem to place eVeRyWHere. Because to most people 'not being obsessed with finding a girlfriend/boyfriend '='being gay' apparently. And here goes my rant about Zoro(mostly) and Nami. Like, both Zoro and Nami are simply more mature in that aspect, but most perceive them as gay (not even bi, wtf). So they can have a cOnVeRsATion like two people and tease each other without nosebleed and/or hormonal crysis. Wow, maybe cause they survived alone from the childhood and learned early not to show their emotions and attraction?? I wonder. Then goes this 'Sanji and Zoro fight over gay reasons'. Please, all human emotions are suddenly gay now? Give me a break! Like, they bickered over Nami's internal motives oBVioSly, not because they necessarily wanted to get her as a girlfriend. Then they bickered because of Luffy's trust and devotion. They're both a bit insecure in this aspect, big surprise. Doesn't make you gay either.

All that said, I read and enjoy homoeroticism and m/m content. It is just the exact same problem now as with 'youre a woman I'm a man' trope. Why think, why explore character, just call him gay and your job is done! I love gay dinamics, but that's exactly it - a dynamic. If person A likes person B, it should be more than their orientation and gender.

Main reason why I cannot love Sanji wholeheartedly is exactly because he is 'gender first person second' guy. Like wow, there are SO MANY different people, but he focuses on that. Zoro on the other hand, showed me (a young girl at the time) empowerment before I knew the word. He had a friend, he supported her, he didn't belittle or humiliate her in the moment of weakness and despair and he kept their promise, even if nobody else knew about it, and it only actually mattered to her at the moment he said that. He treated Nami and Robin as people, but he always watched out for them as he acknowledged their gender, not letting it be their main characteristic. He is a really mature man, and I never perceived him as openly gay or straight, as he values personal traits far more than boobs. I like dynamics where he values Sanji as a fighter and a friend, not those where he ignores Nami's or Robin's bosom in favour of Sanji's ass. That's such a neanderthal approach I feel degradation vibes from the community. Try perceiving men/women as people, it is 21 century, FFS.

[duochromium]

i’m probably going to be putting rain and that other remilia focused work on the backburner for the time being, i can kind of feel it in the air that i don’t want to work on any serious works for a while so basically peak may end up not coming. sucks to suck but whatever

HOWEVER!

as repayment i will show off the plot summaries i sent to w.d. gaster!

——

rain, aka Hakurei Reimu Falls Into The Sea:

Namesake is from “Roronoa Zoro Falls Into The Sea”, one piece thing you can google it if you’re interested

ReiMari fic where at first glance it looks like the yuri is the whole point but Oops! It’s A Duochromium Fic With Reimu In It! That Means It’s Character Study Time!

The fucking rain is a metaphor for accepting help from others. She doesn’t wanna stand in it even though it wouldn’t hurt her

I hint at this by talking about the rain WAY too much. My readers are going to think I’m either a huge weirdo about rain (I am tho) or they’re going to correctly realize “hey maybe the rain is important” and then connections should start forming. I’m also just gonna directly say “If you didn’t notice, the rain is a metaphor for Reimu accepting the help of others.” in the ending notes because maybe my readers will have piss poor reading comprehension after only reading fanfiction for the past decade

Reimu is in a kind of good mood, it’s raining outside, no food in the house lmaoo, she goes to Marisa’s place (with an umbrella. It is very important she doesn’t want to touch the rain) because she wants to distract herself, they be HOMOSEXUAL AHHH for a few but after Reimu’s stomach grumbles like the third time Marisa gets concerned, Reimu insists she’s not hungry after Marisa offers to make food, escalate into argument that gets to “they’re a little angry but no insults are being thrown” level before Reimu storms out onto Marisa’s porch and listens to the rain while moping for a few, insert absolute peak here idk how I’m gonna have them make up, as a result of this peak Reimu admits she needs help and lets Marisa feed her, plenty of sappy gay love there blehh I hate happy couples, then they go and dance in the rain. I am sure you can guess what them going and dancing in the rain is symbolic of

—

The other one, aka How To Make a Vampire Cry

Scarlet devil mansion is hosting a ball, everyone’s having fun except remillia who’s kind of just sitting on her throne looking super bummed out (everyone just passes it off as her being Scary) tho, patchy floats over like “yo man you’re usually having way more fun wtf is your problem”, remilia talks about how flandre hasn’t been showing up to balls the past few months despite always being allowed out, blablabla “i’m worried i’m not being a good sister”, they decide to just go check on her, flandre sitting in her room listening to distant party noise until remi (maybe not accompanied by pache) comes down, flandre “i feel like i wouldn’t really be welcome even if i showed up” they both talk about what’s had them down and comfort each other then hug wholesome 100 keanu chungus I HATE WOMEN

——

feel free to take inspiration from either of these ideas since there is a 25% chance neither ends up ever being in a finished state

[abilusanji]

Honestly even as someone who 100% hates all iterations of the perv gag with a burning passion and had to basically take a ten year break from one piece because of how much the early post-ts angered me, there is a willing dissonance people employ where like... 1. Sanji, esp since WCI has gotten the lionshare of emotional plot and angst. Even now he's being set up to have plot about him. Oda has basically lavished the guy in plot. It is an incredibly mundane fact that people overlook the perv gag or bask in it because Sanji is given so much to do. Like Oda clearly has put a lot of time and energy into Sanji and his arc. Whether you like it or not is up to you, but the fact other people get engaged with it is not that notable! It makes sense! (side note, in general I think WCI was a huge boon for Sanji on a retroactive level. It's a lot easier to go "this stuff isn't that bad" when you have a cathartic end point and a lot of it is already at a set tone. Chapter by chapter with no knowledge of what is to come is a very different experience imo. Sorta like knowing the end game of a love triangle, the miscommunications can seem a lot less infuriating than when you know when it will end, where it will end and you're not waiting week to week to find out)

2. Almost every time I see folks complaining about Sanji on an in-universe level (as opposed to just "I personally cannot stand this/I wish Oda didn't write this") it almost always makes the problem individualist, not systemic, which is not accurate. Like, if Sanji's issues are his and are a problem, what does that say for the others? What does that imply with the crew who enables him? The people who call him kind? If you want to really dive into the "sanji is a bad person" solely on an in-universe level, you'd also have to address every othe strawhat who laughs sanji's antics off or show only the most shallow of dismissal of it. Your blorbos are complicit! Alas! (this is why interrogating it solely from an in-universe approach is uh... not what I'd recommend unless you actually wanna vibe with that take). 3. One piece is fucking drenched in misogyny. It's in every character, every story telling choice, every direction. Sanji is not a unique factor, he just is a blatant example of it. The quiet part is said out loud. On some level if you want to enjoy one piece, you have to come to terms with the misogyny of one piece in one way or another. So most people who would never like Sanji are already gone, because of 20 years worth of questionable writing choices along the way. And Sanji, much like the story of One Piece, has good bits, and bad bits, and you don't have to ignore the bad bits but at the end of the day, they all fit a very similar tune that Oda sings. 4. Oda really likes putting Sanji in situations specifically and only for Sanji. Some of this makes sense, like you know, characters fight people who are naturally going to give them a challenge etc. But I do think it's worth noticing that one of the most egregious examples of "WTF Oda" is the newkama, and his depiction of gender nonconforming behavior. While other characters do intersect with them, it is Sanji who does it the most. Oda didn't go "haha you know what would be funny? A bunch of gender non conforming crossdressers think ZORO is one of them and try and put ZORO in a dress!" Oda decided that Sanji's weakness gag would cause him more trouble than other character's weakness gag. Usopp's cowardice has the final mega-punchline that he keeps getting more feared. Zoro's bad sense of direction is usually a quick one-off gag that doesn't impede his ability to fight. Sanji's gags (not hitting a woman, nosebleeding) often impede his ability to fight, and one time notably made him deathly ill and required a blood transfer. This, in my opinion, is why Sanji's gags can stand out so much. Because Oda writes them in ways that they stand out more! Even Brook, the other pervert, really doesn't get too much out of his gag in larger plot, but Sanji does! "Here is the guy who keeps getting put into machines who shows how much he sucks, unlike this other guy who gets put into a machine who shows how cool he is" (hyperbole) is worth interrogating when it comes to this sort of thing. Especially since I do think that Oda would not think to have any of the characters react "well" to Momoiro island. I think he thought it would be funny to see someone get bullied and forcefemmed, and I think he thinks it's funniest when those things happen to Sanji. That's a theory, not something with hard proof, but I'm positing it anyway. Anyway, Sanji! He's a complex character and Oda does a lot with him and you could fill books with the amount there is to say on the bastard, both textually and with how people respond to him.

I know how things going too far a bunch of times can taint a character for people and I definitely don't blame them for hating sanji. But kind of funny when people look at sanji going all heart eyes and are like "eughh can he stop already" when I am like "my pathetic little meow meow" with him. Because the sanji simping for women and talking about becoming their slave and going ~nami swannnn~ and that time he offered the giant teacup to shirahoshi on his head are like completely separate from the. Fucking pervert who needs to be thrown off a cliff. Right tf now

People are free to hate Sanji, but when they don't GET why people LIKE Sanji I'm like 😭😭😭 are you just purposefully closing your eyes to EVERYTHING else he does and ONLY opening your eyes when he drools like a dog. Which, I must add, genuinely does NOT happen as much as everyone thinks it does LMAO

Yes he has a gag, it's part of his character, but it is not his WHOLE character nor even half of his character. He's a kind cook, a pirate, and one of Luffy's wings. He's so many things! I think it's ironic when ppl say Oda has flanderised Sanji, cause I honestly think the AUDIENCE flanderises Sanji the most. A gag or two may indeed cross the line, but I truly don't think it's to the extent I see it argued HHH 😭

[base0h]

Hayo, I noticed ur blog and fell in love. I was wondering if I could request Smoker, Crocodile, Zoro, and Hihawk with an S/O who is reckless. I'm talking like Luffy kinda reckless. Oh, this berry might be super poisonous? Only one way to find out-

a/n - awww you’re so sweet I’m glad you like my blog 💜💜 oml I’m giggling tysm nero for the request !

Warnings ⚠️ - crack kinda, g/n reader

Opposites attract

- poor man is so tired

- “CROCO- I FOUND A MUSHROOM LOOK LOOK! It matches your hair!! tastes a bit funny though.” You said excitedly, showing your lover the black mushroom

- the color should’ve been the first hint that maybe you shouldn’t eat that.

- but you ate it anyways

- “cool. Cool.”

- “… wait what.”

- he needed a minute

- then it clicked, you collapsed to the ground, coughing and clutching your stomach from the pain

- “Y/n- you ate a random mushroom?!”

- frantically trying to not freak out

- he’s trying to remain calm. but it’s not working

- god the pain was unbearable, your stomach churning but also cramping at the same time

- And to make it better? You might’ve eaten the entire mushroom 🙃

- he’s not a doctor wtf is he supposed to do-???

- literally slapping your back to try and get you to spit it out

- “I ALREADY SWALLOWED IT- STOP OW!”

- you survived, but crocodile’s sanity didn’t lol

- in battles, you were always the first one to spring into action, much to your lover’s dismay

- “Let’s go!!!” You shouted, jumping off the ship, running straight towards the marine encampment

- “Y/N GET BACK HERE-!”

- he didn’t even get to explain the plan yet

- man loves you a lot, so he sticks with you even though you drive him insane

- “y/n don’t you even think about eating that. it was on the ground.”

- “but- 5 second rule-“

- “NO-“

- ….

- *eats it anyways*

- he’s like a wall

- does he ever express emotion to your shenanigans???

- definition of 🗿

- you end up getting into more dumb shit just to see if he’d react

- you could be choking on a poisonous berry, and all he does is fucking slap your back, and you spit it out no problem

- he’s like those magic moms

- he wouldn’t appreciate being called that

- right before you rush to jump off the cliff, he literally just grabs you by the back of your shirt like you’re a tiny cat

- he does it with one hand while he’s reading the newspaper with the other

- not even looking

- you’re honestly tired of trying to get him to react, so you end up falling asleep on him sometimes, exhausted from all your reckless activities

- oh if only you were awake to see how he reacted to this

- he had a soft smile on his face, and he ran his fingers through your hair, softly patting your back and hugging you close to him

- this was the time that he reacted, and you were unfortunately asleep 🙃

- you’re bad for his health

- you give him heart attacks every single day

- Tashigi has started to give him free therapy sometimes

- when you literally jump off the ship before he can explain the plan to you, he has to quickly grab you with his smokey hands

- he has an amazing reaction time thanks to you :)

- “Smokey! I was just gonna take care of ‘em for you!” You said with a smile, hanging in front of your lover

- how could he not forgive you???? He loved you too much to stay mad

- he has to keep you close by, but when you suddenly disappear, and he sees you beating up a bunch of pirates in the distance

- my god you’re going to be the death of him

- all he wants is for you to be safe, and you’re charging straight towards the danger with a huge smile on your face-

- “Smokey!!!! I beat them up for you!” You said, waving at him

- you were sitting on top the pile of beaten up pirates with your big smile that smoker loved so much

- he couldn’t help but smile back with a tired sigh

- he one time almost couldn’t breathe because he couldn’t find you for a good five minutes before you jumped out of a barrel to spook him

- man was so scared he couldn’t move

- “um. smokey are you ok?…”

- it took a good five minutes for his mind to process what just happened, and then he scolded you for another ten :)

- obviously you didn’t listen to even half of what he said tho 👍

- I mean he has Luffy as a captain, so he’s pretty used to it

- or so he thought.

- you were eating a mushroom right in front of him, and he looked confused as to what exactly you were eating

- “Did the pervert cook give you a mushroom??”

- “No- mffm. I found it.”

- your mouth was full, and then you swallowed it right when he realized

- "YOU IDIOT-! YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO DO THAT!"

- frantically slapping you

- it left bruises

- "cant you just shit it out?!"

- "I CANT SHIT ON COMMAND MOSSHEAD!"

- chopper saved you, but now Zoro has to accompany you everytime you explore the islands

- you picked up some berries from a nearby bush, and you were about to put them in your mouth

- he bonked your head with his fist, "don't even think about it y/n."

- "OW THAT HURT IDIOT!"

- you hit him back and it started a whole fight

- you won >:)

a/n - hehe these are fun

[sanjisblackasswife]

Telling Them “You Have a Slutty Waist”

Ft. Sanji, Law, Ace, Zoro

Zoro

He thinks you called him a slut and now he wants to fight.

You don’t even explain yourself he just keeps getting angrier the more you mention it.

Some days you just hug his waist and say it

“Look at this waist…made for a slut.”

“THE HELL YOU CALL ME—“

He’s like that guy in that one video that says “What the hell even is that” after being told “Daddy chill.”

He doesn’t understand and that’s what makes it funnier he has absolutely no clue if you’re insulting him or not

“Y/N, what is a slutty waist please tell me.”

“It’s in the title, Zo…jeez…”

“BUT WHAT IS IT IS IT BAD?”

Sanji

A literal slut though.

This is my favorite pic of him btw like wtf look at his ASS too. The ratio to waist to ass is just—

You call him your slut a lot whether you both are just together or having sex and you think he really likes it

He does get taken a back when you say slutty WAIST though

“Sl—what?!”

You wrap your arms around his slim body on squeeze it nearly picking him up in the process and he shrieks.

“What’s—what’s a slutty waist? Is it…?”

Please tell him it’s a compliment this man already has so many insecurities.

You do and tell him it turns you on and now he’s turned on and so that’s now your problem

Law

He just flips you off lmao

He has heard you say it many times to him before but now it’s just sounding like jealousy

And it may be

“If you’re saying my waist is lean then yes it is…you jealous?”

“I ain’t jealous of no slut….or your whoreish tiddies.”

Now he’s just annoyed with you because wtf is your problem.

Ace

Looks at you like this^

“You’re the only woman I’ve been with how am I a slut?”

He gets so confused when you say it he starts rubbing his tummy and asking Marco is that a medical condition

Pls help him

You urgently tell him it’s a compliment and he immediately starts laughing. He likes it a lot

Now He says you have a slutty waist, ass, mouth—-

“Alright calm down now.”

“You do! You have these slutty tits—“

“ENOUGH”

[bluskye-27]

Can I request Marco the phoenix, Sanji, Zoro getting jealous into their best friends,(Like ace for Marco) please!!!!

Thank you sissy!!!!

Marco, Zoro & Sanji Jealous of their Fem! S/O's Best Friend

Summary: Your boyfriend got jealous of your best friend. He decided to do something about it.

Marco the Phoenix:

- Marco was the chill type, he doesn't get jealous so easily. When he watches you chat happily with your best friend, Ace, he doesn't think too much about it.

- But when the crew took out the booze? Oh boy

- You get drunk easily, so you tried to turn down the booze offered to you, but Ace, being Ace, insisted, so you took a gulp. And you started to regret it when the drunk effects started to take a toll on you.

- You giggled, dancing with Ace goofily in the midst of your crewmates' cheering.

- And then, drunk Ace went to lean in, like he's about to kiss you. Luckily, your beloved phoenix pried the drunken idiot away from you.

- The crew started to go crazy and wanted Marco and Ace to fight but Pops scolded them.

- Ace was hit on the head, apologizing profusely to you two with huge bumps on his head.

- Marco never made you drink booze after that.

Roronoa Zoro:

- You are a swordsman of the Strawhats. So it's obvious you and Zoro would get along pretty well.

- When Luffy brought you to their ship as their new nakama, Mosshead was skeptical at first but he grew fond of you over time.

- You guys spar from time to time, enhancing your skills and footwork with his guidance.

- And then there's Sanji...

- Everyone knows how much of a ladies' man the cook was, so it was no surprise that he would be all over you.

- Which is a very bad thing since you know how your boyfriend dislikes "Curly Brow"

- And that dislike tripled when he watched as Sanji tried to hug you.

- "Hey, dumbass!"

- "Huh?" And down Sanji went when Zoro hit his head. And of course, you were concerned, calling for Chopper to treat the poor blond.

- You pulled Zoro by his ear to your shared room, ready to scold him but his cute pout made you hesitant.

- "I did it because I don't like him being all over you."

- You decided to spoil him the whole week, reminding him how much you love him.

Blackfoot Sanji:

- Sanji met you when Zoro, your childhood friend, brought you to the ship. Apparently, the grass haired swordsman recruited you to be their new nakama and Luffy agreed wholeheartedly.

- Sanji fell in love at first sight. He never felt anything like he's experiencing now when he met other girls before.

- You warmed up to him the last because of over-the-top and perverted he can get but you started to fall for him because of his gentlemanly manners.

- He would greet you everytime he saw you, giving you compliments and noticing your new outfit you bought from the last island. (Which btw you purposely bought just to impress him.)

- And then Zoro, who's passing by, complimented you. Like wtf? Is the world ending?? Zoro compliments a girl?? Unbelievable!

- You blushed of course, not expecting your usually reserved best friend to appreciate your outfit.

- As for Sanji, well...

- He pulled you with him and went to the kitchen. He made you sit before hastily went to cook something.

- "Sanji, are you okay??" You asked him when he cuts his finger accidentally.

- "Hm? Yeah, I am."

- You were worried. You never saw him getting cuts when cooking before. He's a professional chef, for Pete's sake!

- You asked him about his problem and he answered you shyly.

- "I just don't like it when that stupid swordsman makes you blush. I only want you to do that with me." He frowned, his lips pouting.

- You laughed, turning him to face you and pulled him to a tight hug.

- "Dummy. Zoro's just my friend. And I don't mind if you want me all for yourself."

- Sanji fainted, his lips grinning goofily as you tried to wake him up, calling for the reindeer doctor in distress.

- In the end, Sanji did got you all for himself. Never forgetting to rub that on Zoro's face everyday.

Hello, @kazenomegaminowanpisu ! Hope you like this, sis! ;3

[oinkinpigprince]

Hi this is mainly for my friend but I was thinking about some of the one piece characters as cats, I’ve only read to chapter 30 so it’s only Nami, Luffy, Zoro, and Usopp

Luffy the type of cat who can’t swim, but whenever you’re taking bath he’ll jump straight into the water and then act surprised that he’s drowning

Also a very lanky cat, and stretch it’s very hard to pick him up cause of it

He’d also be a calico style cat or a black and white one, and loves running around and slamming into shit.

Would scarf his food down then try to steal everyone else’s, zoro’s kick his ass countless time

Also cat fights are hourly, like clock work Usopp and Luffy are the main antagonists

They also run around @ night knocking shit over and being the loudest POS then conk out all day

Zoro’s the cat that gets out and starts cat fights with the neighbor hood cats, comes back scratched up but soooooo proud of himself

Zoro’s the cat you get @ the shelter who every person told you was gonna be a problem and be hard to take care of and was gonna probably be very aggressive, and they were right but he also licks your nose when you’re laying on the couch so it’s worth it

Zoro also knocks glass specifically off the counter so that’s why you have to buy plastic dishes unless you want the most violent carpet known to man

He’s one of those built ass ugly ass blond cats(/pos) and has green eyes, also I feel like if he didn’t have green hair he’d have that fugly blond military cut hair

Doesn’t let anyone near him, unless it’s his favorite person. But it’s kinda hard to tell who’s his favorite person or he’s the one who lays on you, which is rare

Lays on your neck when you’re asleep and chokes you out, lovingly

Brings you dead birds as a sign of affection

Also watches you piss, just direct eye contact until you’re done

90% of your catch scratches are from him, but it’s like, lovingly

The other 10% are from Nami surprisingly, but that’s because you got too close to her horde of your shit

Steals everything from everyone and keeps it in a specific corner in a room or under your bed if she can

Very sweet but the type to let you pet her then bites immediately after

She has the bastard disease

I mean what do you expect from those gross lil orange cats

I need to stop being so damn mean, I fuckibg love cats wtf

Shes always napping on the stuff you need and looks at you bastardly when you try and gently try and get her off

Then gets offended when you actually do get her off

Kneeds your leg aggressively with the sweetest smile so you don’t do anything about it

She lays in your lap while your work or play games and licks your chin

Also grooms your hair or just licks your bald head if you don’t have any

Namis definitely the type to eat shit she shouldn’t eat

I said she hordes random shit but 90% is like any jewelry you own or shiny shit and old socks

Has eaten said jewelry and you’ve taken her to the pet ER numerous times for it, and she always has this shit eating grin on her face when you take her home

Usopp you found suck in your fence on a rainy day, you had to call a fire man to get him out and he’s been your problem everyday

Him and luffy have 4 brain cells combined, and luffy does not like sharing

Usopp gets trapped in everything and waits for you to come bail him out by meowing/screaming

He’s super cuddly though and very playful, he likes to act big and scary but one sudden move and he’s sprinting out pissing himself

Scared of everything new, then once he gets familiar it’s suddenly his favorite thing in the world

Also gets into fights like zoro but always looses and comes back crying and sad

He has big dog syndrome but for cats, he thinks he can fight pit bulls 9x his size but then runs away screaming the moment they move

But will still try and fight you

Gets into everything too somehow, then can’t get out??

Actually love water and will regularly hop in the tub w/ you and swim around

I feel like he could be a leash cat, walk him around on a leash

He’s a turtle shell cat btw, vry important

Runs around at ungodly hours of the night and jumps on you while you’re sleeping

But gets pissy if you wake him up

Prolly the best one to cuddle with, he’ll lay on your chest and purr while you two watch a movie

Walks on your keyboard while you’re typing though, bastard man

Licks everything too, everything he can get his spiky little tongue

Like zoro he’ll bring you stuff from his ‘hunt’ but it’s just leaves and sticks, you appreciate them anyways cause he got them FOR YOU

Does those very unimpressive jumps, falls a lot tbh

Loves playing w/ toys and his is the only reason you buy them, his favorite ones are the ones shaped like animals, especially birds

Jumps when he sees cucumbers & pickles

Fights w/ Nami a lot but that’s cause she takes his favorite toys into her stash and he wants them back and the two just growl and hiss at each other til they start fighting

Him and luffy get into a lot of trouble and have broken so many household appliances

Sleeps on freshly clean laundry and refuses to get up to let you fold and put it away

Don’t worry about him getting locked in the dryer he’s too scared to even go in there

Loves to drink out of the toilet like a dirty gremlin, every time you scold him he just has a blank stare on his face like •_____•

He’ll climb up your pant leg just to get your attention like kittens

He’s an attention whore

This was fun, I hope you like it calico :))

[readsrealm]

incorrect quotes part 2

Luffy: You're 'the second worst thing to ever happen to those orphans', what does that mean?

Usopp: It means i was second worst thing to happen to those orphans.

Luffy: but what’s the first worst thing?

*Awkward pause*

Usopp: Luffy, they...they weren’t always orphans.

Luffy:

Xxxx

Usopp, trying to cheer the group up: Things could be worse, you know!

Sanji: How?

Usopp: How what?

Sanji: How could they be worse?

Usopp: They couldn’t, I lied.

Sanji:

Xxxxxx

Usopp: *Accidentally hits Sanji in the face*

Usopp: *Trying to decide between saying 'I’m fucking sorry' and 'Are you okay'*

Usopp: ARE YOU FUCKING SORRY?!

Sanji: What’s wrong with you?!

Xxxxxx

Usopp, to Sanji: My life is in the hands of an idiot!

Sanji, motioning to themself and Zoro: No no no no no, TWO idiots!

Xxxxxx

Usopp: Dandelions symbolize everything I want to be in life

Sanji: Fluffy and dead with a gust of wind?

Usopp: Unapologetic. Hard to kill. Feral, filled with sunlight, bright, beautiful in a way that the conventional and controlling hate but cannot ever fully destroy. Stubborn. Happy. Bastardous. Friends with bees. Highly disapproving of lawns. Full of wishes that will be carried far after I die.

Zoro: edible

Xxxxxxx

Usopp: HELP! I TOLD SANJI I’D COOK DINNER TONIGHT BUT I CAN’T COOK!

Zoro, pouring milk directly into the cereal bag: And you thought I could help?

Xxxxxxx

Store Worker: Would a Mx. Usopp please come to the front desk?

Usopp, arriving at the desk: Hello, is there a problem?

Store Worker: points to Sanji and Zoro

Store Worker: I believe they belong to you?

Sanji and Zoro, simultaneously: We got lost :(

Usopp: I didn’t even bring you guys here with me-

Xxxxxxx

Sanji: Hah! 69! You know what that means?

Usopp: What?

Zoro: That you're a child.

Luffy: HOW'D YOU GUESS MY IQ!?

Xxxxxx

Luffy, setting down a card: Ace of spades

Sanji, pulling out an Uno card: +4

Zoro, pulling out a Pokémon card: Jolteon, I choose you

Usopp, trembling: What are we playing

Xxxxxxx

Usopp: *Trying to fill out legal paperwork stuff* Were you guys born AMAB or AFAB?

Zoro: Bold of you to assume I was born at all.

Sanji: I personally was created in a lab.

Luffy: I just straight up spawned lol.

Xxxxxxxx

Zoro: What did you guys get in your yearbook?

Usopp: 'Prettiest Smile'

Sanji: 'Nicest Personality'

Luffy: 'Most likely to start a bar fight'

Nami: 'Least likely to start a bar fight, but most likely to win one'

Xxxxxx

Usopp: Bye Sanji! Bye Zoro! Bye Luffy! Bye Nami! Bye Sanji!

Zoro: You said ‘bye Sanji’ twice.

Usopp: I like Sanji.

Luffy: What’s something you guys are better than Usopp at?

Sanji: Cooking.

Luffy: Fighting.

Nami: Emotional vulnerability.

XXXXXX

Luffy: Imagine if someone handed you a box full of all the items you have lost throughout your life

Usopp : Self-esteem, haven't seen you in years!

Nami: Oh wow, my childhood innocence! Thank you for finding this!

Sanji: I knew I lost that potential somewhere!

Zoro: My moral code, is that you?

Luffy:

Luffy: I was just gonna show you this cool trunk Dadan left me but do you guys need a hug?

XXXXXXX

Usopp : bitches b like “im baby” but have childhood trauma and neglect like wtf do u know about being baby u were forced to grow up from an early age anyways I’m bitches

XXXXXX

Usopp , threatening the others with a paintball gun: Listen... Life comes at us fast. We don't know what life is gonna give us... And today, it's gonna give you... a paintball!

XXXXXX

Usopp : I’d like to offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals.

XXXXXX

Franky : People are always asking me if I'm a morning person or a night person.

Franky : And I'm just like, 'Buddy! I'm barely even a PERSON!'

XXXXXX

Usopp : Not trying to brag or anything, but I can wake up without an alarm clock now simply due to my crippling and overwhelming anxiety, so...

XXXXXX

Shapeshifter: *transforms to look like Usopp *

Usopp : Okay, are you like BLIND? You look nothing like me. First off, I'm way taller. Secondly, I DO NOT look so sleep deprived and lastly, if you could drag comb through that hair you're like a 7 on a good day and I've been told I'm a constant 10.

XXXXXX

Zoro : I’m sick and tired of being called 'mortal' like, you don’t know that. Neither do I. I have never died even ONCE. Nothing has been proven yet. Stop making assumptions. It’s rude.

XXXXXXXX

Usopp : So apparently the 'bad vibes' I’ve been feeling are actually severe psychological distress

XXXXXXXX

Usopp : Physically, yes, I could fight a bird. But emotionally? Imagine the toll.

XXXXXXXX

*Sanji recording whilst Usopp and Luffy are arguing*

Usopp : HOLD UP, HOLD UP, HOLD UP, HOLD UP!! HER SISTER WAS A WITCH, RIGHT? AND WHAT WAS HER SISTER? A PRINCESS! THE WICKED WITCH OF THE EAST, BRO!

Sanji: *wheezes like a tea kettle*

Luffy, pulling out a knife: I'm gonna stab them.

Usopp : YOU'RE GONNA LOOK AT ME AND YOU'RE GONNA TELL ME THAT I'M WRONG? AM I WRONG?

Luffy: It's my favorite movi-

Usopp : SHE WORE A CROWN AND SHE CAME DOWN IN A BUBBLE, LUFFY!

Luffy: I'm not fighting with you, I'm not fighting with y-

Usopp : GROW UP, BRO. GROW UP!

XXXXXX

Nami: Just be yourself. Say something nice.

Usopp : Which one? I can't do both.

XXXXXXXX

Chooper: *sighs* I have no friends...

The strawhats:

The strawhats: *coughs* B****, what am I? A roach?!

XXXXXXXXX

Usopp : STOP!

*Everyone stops*

Usopp : wAiT a MiNuTe-

XXXXXXXX

Luffy: You know what’s funny about Usopp ? They’re my best friend, and anyone who’d hurt them is someone I’d murder, probably.

XXXXXXXXX

Sanji: Usopp ... you've been cuddling with me for over and hour now.

Usopp : *muffled* mm hmmm :)

Sanji: F***. I should be annoyed but you're adorable.

XXXXXXXXX

Sanji: How is the most beautiful person in the world?

Nami: *blushing* I—

Zoro, butting into the conversation: Usopp is perfect, thanks for asking.

XXXXXXX

Luffy: Hey.

Nami: Hey?

Luffy: I can't sleep. :/

Nami: I can. Goodnight.

XXXXXXXX

Brook: Why don't humans have a specific noise that means "there are bees here, let's leave immediately." Why are elephants more advanced than us.

Robin: We do have a specific noise for it. It sounds like this:

Robin: "There are bees here, let's leave immediately."

XXXXXXXX

Brook: When I was young, I left a trail of broken hearts like a rockstar. I'm not proud of it.

Jinbei: You're kind of proud of it. You work it into a lot of conversations.

XXXXXXXXX

Brook: Name a more iconic duo than my crippling fear of abandonment and my anxiety. I’ll wait.

Franky: You and me!

Brook: *tearing up* Ok.

XXXXXXXX

Murderer: Any last words?

Robin: Do you think I'm cute? Be honest.

XXXXXXXX

Franky: If you spell skeletons backwards, it still spells skeletons.

Brook, deadpan: Wow, I can't wait for Halloween to see some snoteleks

XXXXXXXXXXX

Robin: Listen, we’re done, we’re over! Okay?

Franky: Whatever b****, you ain’t never gonna find no one like me.

Robin: Yeah, that's the point s***head!

XXXXXXXX

Franky: You look mentally ill.

Brook: I am. Let’s go.

XXXXXXXX

Luffy: In case you haven’t noticed, I’m weird. I’m a weirdo. I don’t “fit in” and I don’t WANT to fit in. Have you ever seen me without this stupid hat on? That’s weird.

XXXXXXXX

Usopp, looking at their watch: It has been 2 hours and sixteen minutes since I’ve been insulted.

Usopp: It’s been about 5 seconds since I’ve been a**aulted, but let’s not talk about that.

XXXXXXXXX

Usopp: How would you like your hair cut?

Zoro: Preferably with scissors, but a sword could be bada**.

[katsumiiii]

Drunk In Love

roronoa zoro x fem! poc reader

genre: fluff

warnings: consumption of alcohol

description: the strawhat crew stops on a nearby island for supplies. zoro takes a trip to the local pub only to have some interesting company join him.

It’s safe to say that Roronoa Zoro was lost. While this was not a rather surprising statement, it does get tiring to hear that the swordsman hasn’t picked up on his sense of direction since entering the New World. Again and again, every twist and turn looked similar to him, causing him to wander further and further from his desired destination. That destination of course being a pub.

The male couldn’t go too long without having at least a sip of alcohol, his mouth craving the flavor after a good while. He cursed as he traveled down another unfamiliar path, hands shoved deep into his pockets as he dragged his feet along the dirt ground.

Maybe he should’ve listened when Nami said to take someone with him. Nevermind, he would have had to take that curly browed idiot with him, and he’d rather not argue the whole way to the pub.

Zoro scanned his surrounds once more, seems as though those twists and turns led him back into the town, where the pub was apparently located. He let out a sigh of relief, tired of wondering around the dense forests, especially since all of the trees were so similar looking.

He trotted along, dirt kicking out in front of him as a result. Many different sounds flooded his ears, whether it were children whining for the cherry tarts that were on sale to the left of him — they were supposedly the best in town — or the slight ringing of laughter coming from the restaurants to his right, he reckoned that’s where Luffy was trying to go, the smell of meat too tempting for him to ignore.

About half way through the town square, Zoro encountered the very place he’d been searching for. With a snarky grin on his face he hurriedly pushed open the doors, the smell of booze greeting him ever so kindly. Walking a few feet up from the entrance way, he plopped on to a tall wooden stool, slamming his hands on the oak countertop in order to catch the bartenders attention.

“Lemme get a beer.” He bluntly demanded, obsidian irises staring boringly into the man behind the counters backside, watching as he turned around with a tight lipped smile on his face.

“Sure, coming right up!” The chubby male worked swiftly, and right as Zoro gave a long loud yawn a pint of beer was slammed on to the table, causing him to smile excitedly.

“Thanks.”

“No problem sir! Tell me if you need anything else!” He stated as he hurried off to handle another customer.

Zoro raised the mug to his chapped lips, taking large gulps as he drank the liquid. It left a satisfying burn as it traveled down the pathway of his throat, soon settling in his stomach along with whatever else was down there. He let out a sigh of relief and a belch, which caused quite a few heads to turn towards the noise.

“Oh shit, that’s Roronoa Zoro!”

“What’s he doing here alone?”

“If he’s here then that means Strawhat is most likely near by.”

The whispers grew louder as men and woman alike began to worriedly question the young males motives, discreetly scooting further and further away from him. Zoro huffed closing his only good eye, all he wanted was a peaceful drink at the bar, was that too much to ask for? Guess that’s what he gets for being a pirate.

“You looking for company?” A voice asked, the groan of wood rubbing against wood following soon after, causing Zoro to assume that they pulled out the chair beside him. He grunted, eye still not opening as his left hand gripped the handle of his mug.

“No, go away.” He replied, taking another gulp of his liquor.

“Aww don’t be like that, I promise I’m an interesting gal.”

Zoro opened his eye in annoyance, gaze traveling to your figure. “I said go away you damned wom-” he cut off suddenly, voice caught in the back of his throat as he stared at the sight in front of him.

You were beautiful, your hair was braided into a style he’d never quite seen before, but it was unique and eye catching. Your browned skin all but glowed as there was a window right behind your figure, the sun illuminating your very being. Your nails were thumping against the dull oak countertop in front of you as you softly bit your plump lip, your pearly whites slightly poking out. “You alright there mister?”

His body jolted causing a cough to rile up from the sudden movement. “Oh my god are you okay?” You asked again, this time worriedly. Your voice was damn near angelic, the sound of it bringing heat to his cheeks as he slammed his fist on to his chest to stop his wheezing.

“Y-yeah I’m fine.”

“You sure? Had a bit of a cough there.” Your eyes seemed like they were staring into his very soul as you laid a hand on his chiseled backside, rubbing light circles upon it.

“I’m fine! I can handle a little cough.” He roughly shook your hand off of his back, face becoming more crimson by the minute.

“Hm, I can see that big guy.” You chuckled, gesturing the bartender over. “Hi, may I have some booze please? I’ve been craving some for the longest!”

The male nodded, cheeks turning pink at the slight groan you let out. “Y-yes ma’am, I’ll get right to it!”

“Thank you love!”

“Oi!” Zoro quickly called out, watching as the bar man rolled his eyes before sending him a full smile and a slight nod. “I need more booze.”

“Coming right away sir.” The man grumbled, reaching upwards to retrieve two mugs.

“You seemed to have irritated the man a bit.” You quipped, letting out a small thank you as the very man you mentioned handed you your drink.

“Not my fault he hates his job.” Zoro replied back, muttering out a thank you as well as his drink was set in front of him.

“I don’t think it’s the job he hates.” You smirked, licking your lips of the residue booze.

“Yeah whatever.”

Silence overtook the both of you as you indulged in your liquor, you yourself starting to feel a slight buzz around your fifth mug. “You still drinking?” You questioned, glancing over at the green haired male beside you.

He shot you a quick look, cheeks red from what you assumed was caused from his alcohol intake. “Yeah, surprised you can keep up with me, you damned woman.”

You scoffed, leaning closer to his flushed face, the red of his cheeks increasing with the closing distance. “Oh please, I could out drink your ass in an instant.” You announced cockily, nose scrunching at the smell of alcohol coming from his breath.

He cackled at the sentence, body shaking from complete and utter shock at what he believed to be an incorrect statement, though he guessed he’d have to find out. “Oh really? Is that a challenge?”

“You bet it is moss head.”

“Oh it’s on.”

Drink after drink, you two continued to down as many mugs as you could, the burn intensifying with each gulp. You took a sharp breath as you hastily drank another one, hearing cheers from the spectators, bets circulating on which person would win the battle. After about 56 mugs, Zoro lightly tapped chipped oak countertop, causing you to whoop in victory, screams erupting from the onlookers.

“Ha! Told you I would win!”

Zoro giggled, pushing his body from the wooden stool. “Damn, never thought I’d see the day.”

“I’m surprised my damn self, you can drink your ass off.” You smiled, flipping your intricately braided hair off of your shoulder.

“Well, it was nice drinking with ya.” The male declared as he trotted out of the bar, sending a small wave your way.

“Wait! You can’t just leave!” You rushed after him, hands clammy and mouth dry as you forced your legs to work properly enough to be able to run after the male. Though Zoro did hear your outburst, he decided to continue walking, once again kicking up dust as he wandered about. Your footsteps grew heavier, the affects of the alcohol you drank just now washing over you. You began to walk sluggishly, soon tripping, sending your body tumbling into Zoro’s.

“H-hey! What the hell?!” He firmly grabbed your plush waist, unintentionally pulling you flush against his toned body.

His cheeks heated up once again as his eyes settled along your face, your eyes glazed over, bottom lip slightly red, most likely irritated from the amount of times your teeth have harshly dug into them. “You...you alright?” His fingers traced pathways along your skin, trailing lines and circles as you both continued to stare at one another.

Soon you leaned forward, capturing your lips with his, the taste of alcohol dancing along your tongues. Heat trailed throughout your body, hands settling on top of his as you continued to embrace one another. The kiss was hot and messy, teeth clashing more than once, though neither of you minded, you simply continued to take in every single bit of each other.

You eventually pulled apart, both of you heaving from the intensity of it all. You both stared at each other’s slightly dulled irises, gazing upon the possibilities of this new relationship, or whatever you’d like to call it.

“Y/N”

“Mhm?” Zoro cocked his head sideways, rubble rubbing against the back of his scalp from the movement.

“My name, it’s Y/N.” You repeated, ruffling the males hair to shake off the excess debris.

Zoro hummed in response, cheeks flushing for what seemed to be the thousandth time today. “My names Zoro.”

notes: idk wtf is going awn in this fic lmfao 💀

taglist: @izvana @myhoodacademia @mypimpademia @0risha @blackweebtrash @katsumox @kazuluvr @yuujisbby @manjiiroll @asaincy @namjoonswifeyy @angiebug101 @amethyst09 @sisifromthed @lilsparkyswife @morosis-haze @solar3lunar @lightofcordonia

[victorie552onepiecespeedrun]

Reading One Piece pt 221: “My Body… Won’t Move…”

Chapter 468

Thoughts:

- Chapter title says we’ll see Chopper vs Hogback. Destroy him, Chopper

- Fpos/cs: What. “Energy surges into an ancient town” Why do I see a bunch of chibi soldiers presumably waking up? What does it mean??? What are they doing on the moon??? Was Old Professor from the moon then? What a f*cking coincidence that would be. Does that mean Enel will have army of chibis now? I was just about done caring about that ministory and they suck me right in! But in all honesty, what

- “How does it feel to be captured by the powers of your own nakama!?” ooh, Hogback got Penguin and Samurai to do the dirty job and capture Robin and Chopper. That’s just plain rude

- Huh, Penguin could hit Robin now, when he refused to attack Nami earlier. It could be used for Shipping Manifesto but personally I think there’s a time limit on how long shadow’s personality holds reigns on zombie’s body, I mean Moria is waiting for Oars to lose Luffy’s… Luffyness still. And let’s remember Absalom blasted Penguin hard enough I though him gone for good

- Hogback just repeated what I said :/ Was he not listening

- So will we be watching them fighting zombies or zombie masters here?

- Cindry can be a little scary

- Chopper is speaking

- He talks about death, rebirth and heresy. I know he’s a genius reindeer doctor but… I think… this is the first time I feel this all is very unfair to him. Kid is mentally 15 here. Give him a break, not a “don’t meet your heroes” moment

- He got small now :(

- “don’t meet your heroes” intensifies

- “I was a prodigy!” “I performed operations for money!” “More and more patients kept coming from all over the world!” “It only causes trouble!” “I could save the lives of those that other moronic doctors couldn’t save!” “Don’t you understand the agony of a prodigy!?” Can I punch him now. Like what the hell

- But I have no problem buying he was a good doctor and surgeon before that zombie business. He really feels like real doctors who only do their stuff for money. I suppose if you don’t believe in that inherent “saving lives” stuff, being a medic does leave you being like… this

- What an asshole, that’s what I’m saying

- Chopper says **** YOUR ZOMBIES, they’re just puppets and you’re not that smart

- “Don’t make a fool out of life!” yeah!

- What the **** Hogback, what are you doing to Cindry

- “Lick the floor, Cindry” “Yes, Hogback-sama”

Me:

- *flails around uselessly* how… how about No

[ETA: I’m writing that day after posting and I must say, I kinda went off with this chapter. All this Cindry Situation makes me really uncomfortable and that shows. Evil gotta evil and everything here is good writing but... I read in posts about “Coraline” that there are texts and concepts that kids love to read about but adults find terrifying and I think that’s exactly what happened here. I went Full Adult trying to explain and justify my discomfort.

With Chopper taunting Cindry, it’s all obviously intended and working as an “snap out of that mindcontrol already!” talk/moment BUT I really can’t imagine it being worded worse than it already was. I Do think it’s pretty much victim-blaming here but it’s more “very poor choice of words” here than something sinister. So, we’re good here. Enjoy me getting off the rails over this :)]

- Hogback tells his backstory! He had a celebrity crush on Cindry when she was alive! But she refused him! But then she died! And then! Wait, what

- He met Gecko Moria. And offered his services if Moria bring Cindry “back to life”

- “I easily obtained an obedient actress Cindry! I didn’t care for the character of the girl who rejected me! If only I had that beauty!” O_O

- “This is the zombie Cindry-chan! I’m happy, and I’m sure she must be, too… since she can once again live as a human in this world!” …

- I…

- First of all, this is disgusting and unethical, no question here. Hogback needs to die, let’s kill him

- Second of all, should that be in a shounen manga? Should we show that to the kids? Is that allowed? I mean, I think I wouldn’t be phased that much by that as a child, it would just be a little weird for me. But now it makes me feel all horrible inside, so. I wonder if they censored that part in some countries, because WTF

- Lastly, I kinda keep that blog strictly PG-13 and it wasn’t any kind of hardship or even really conscious up to this point, but now… Now I have questions I really don’t want answers to. Like ever

- CHOPPER SNAPPED, AS HE SHOULD

- “YOU ARE JUST CREATING MONSTERS!” yes!

- (side effect of this is that I’m even more uneasy about zombies being all around than I was before. I knew it was evil before but damn, I did NOT think about all the implications. It’s evil x10 now)

- Now Cindry and Chopper are fighting. At least she’s not on the floor anymore

- …excuse me?

- “I pity you! How would your family feel if they knew about this? Your wounds were horribly patched up! And you were turned into a soldier! Your relatives won’t be able to bear it!” Is Chopper victim-blaming Cindry here…?

- Cindry, who is a zombie AND was dead when they decided they’ll “resurrect” her? AND who had absolutely no say in the matter?

- …

- FUCK YOU ODA

- AND FUCK YOU FOR MAKING CHOPPER OF ALL CHARACTERS SAY THINGS LIKE THAT

- “Humans have more freedom! You are the one who isn’t treating them as humans!” Now that’s more like that. I will now erase past 6 panels out of existence AND my memory, thank you very much

- Robin springs into action!

- …?

- Zoro’s and Sanji’s shadows are fighting each other

- …god bless these idiots and their rivalry

- Bless :)

- Hogback tried to make them cooperate so Robin muted him :D

- “What happens when there is no more commands?” what indeed

- Now Robin tricked Hogback fair and square into throwing his zombies outta the window. So much for prodigy, huh

- Chopper is all business :D

- …Cindry is crying

What a rollercoaster. I thought that chapter would just be Chopper yelling and punching Hogback into next Sunday. Instead… this…

rOP 220  rOP 222