tales-from-the-acellus-archives

[tales-from-the-acellus-archives]

It’s really no surprise Acellus is moving to AI generated images for their lessons

the windows make no sense, the bats are messed up, and the trees are unnaturally thin. I hate this stuff, Roger.

@rogerbillings-blog stop this now

[tales-from-the-acellus-archives]

09: TP-CASTT

Task: Write a TP CASTT analysis of the poem “Riposte” by William Carlos Williams.

Essay:

This is a fifty-two word poem; I am expected to write three hundred; you expect me to take something as emotionally dry as "Riposte" by William Carlos Williams, and multiply the word count by six? There is not even a hint of substance in his work, simply the celebration of love and tranquility. This is an overdone trope that has plagued the poetry sphere since it began. No emotional connection, just stating what is obvious: that love is something to be cherished and locked away due to its healing power. This poem does not evoke emotion, not even negative emotion, just a mirrored sadness that radiates from the poem. After dissecting the piece into oblivion, I have concluded that there are no notable literary devices, aside from ridiculous spacing choices that show nothing about the author's intention, along with the blandest and most plain wording. The largest word he uses in this spacious work is "townspeople," you're kidding me. I am simply appalled at how dry and shallow the writing is, there's nothing! Not to mention the fact that the premise has been stated so many times throughout history, that the theme of love detracts from the poem. A much better work of literature is Schooner Fare's "We the People," which voices the citizens of America to stand up through love for their country against tyrannical leaders, a sentiment that rings true over 30 years later. That song, which when read, not even heard, invokes more emotion and has a stronger message than the one William Williams wrote. Even the artist's name is dumb, William Williams, how stupid can you be when naming a child? I hate this guy, his poem about love and prosperity has fueled nothing but anger and malice from me. Let this be a lesson for all those who write, make something that is useful.

target word count: 300

Final word count: 309

[tales-from-the-acellus-archives]

[tales-from-the-acellus-archives]

08: Read poetry responsibly

Task: Write an essay that describes the purpose, tone, and summary of Frances Ellen Watkins Harper's poem "A Double Standard."

Essay:

In the writings of Frances Ellen Watkins Harper, "A Double Standard" is a work that depicts the struggles that she and women around the world face from the consequences of men.

The first point I'd like to touch on is that Frances uses repetition in the first line of each stanza to ask a rhetorical question about who is to blame, which shifts throughout the poem. This creative decision symbolizes the revelation that she is not at fault for who she has become and has been transformed by the manipulative men in her life.

She also becomes more accusatory in her rhetorical sentences as the lines progress, with the phrase transforming from "Do you blame me?" to "Yes, blame me for my curse... Within your homes you press the hand that led me down to wrath." Which speaks to the hypocrisy of men creating a horrible environment for the women they are married to, and then being surprised that they turn out bitter and cold.

Frances also says how a patriarchal society will punish the woman and reward the man for the same actions, seen distinctly in "Can you blame me that my heart grew cold, the tempted, the tempter turned; when he was feted and caressed, and I was coldly spurred?"

Another major point in the story is during the final part of the poem, where she comments on how God does not view humans as men and women but as individuals, and that, "I who fell, and he who sinned, shall reap as we have sown, that each burden of his loss must bear and bear alone." I really find this stanza enthralling, as it captures perfectly the raw emotion of the narrator, who guides the message of resisting an oppressive patriarchal society to its core, so that both genders are equal.

target word count: 300

Final word count: 304

[tales-from-the-acellus-archives]

07: mini commentary- short fiction 1

Task: Read the following excerpt from “Saving Sourdi” and explain how one character in the text responds or reacts to conflict.

Essay:

Sourdi is a dumb name, as an ignorant American I do not like it, and I think it sounds like your mother named you after a gourd and thought that it was not bad enough and made it worse. I have already hit 40 words, let's go, Nea is an unlikeable character as I have decided not to like her, she has not done anything that I can tell is wrong but I still don't like her. The men in the passage I just read should be pushed under a donkey truck and are bad people. WHAT NEA STABBED SOMEBODY, absolute girl boss moment from Nea. There is still no room for redemption from her as I still do not like her for some reason even though I have only read that paragraph where she stabs someone WHILE SHE WAS ELEVEN. Damn she's going through it isn't she, this is a moment if I ever heard of one, totally insane with that stupid program. By the way, for anyone who reads this the prompt has bright red text saying not to include slang terms or made-up words. Oh, it means from the text itself, well I'm introducing brain rot slang terminology into this very professional email that is oh wait its an essay my bad chat. You can tell I'm working hard because I sneezed. I had never sneezed on an Acellus essay before, and it was kind of exhilarating. I'm not supposed to sneeze during school time, or I won't get any gum. Please, Roger, please give me two trillion billion dollars for writing this essay. It has taken years off of my life, are you happy, Roger? I hope you are or none of this nonsense will go into the ai that you're training on all of our essays.

target word count: 300

Final word count: 301

[tales-from-the-acellus-archives]

06: Writing Flash Fiction

Task: Write a piece of  "Flash Fiction" on a theme of your choice. 

Essay:

"I have returned from a great venture into the darkest wood in the land, speaking many a tongue and meeting many a strange beast to get my cargo." I spoke as I strolled into the bar, after casting an immovable spell on the cargo I referenced, "If any person here lays even a finger upon my package they are to be frozen along with the wagon it's on and turned into a dubious stew." As I plop down at the bar, a curious man appears upon the stool to my right, this puzzled me as I ordered a nice and cozy beer as compensation for my troubles in the woods. This stranger sits at my side for a while, then queries: "So what exactly brings you to this county of Dupenschon? You seem to be outside your typical roaming grounds." "Indeed! ", I say, "how could you tell? Would it be my accent that betrayed me?" The man does not return my conversation, suddenly going mute. I then rise from my seating to walk to the door, when my mentor psychically messages me. As he is a sorcerer, I cannot legally put anything that he says onto paper, for he has gotten into so much legal trouble with the common folk, that he has cursed anything that is a direct quote from him to burst into flames but do no harm to the writer. He has also cursed me to never be able to finish any writing properly. In conclusion, I cannot attempt to break any of these curses due to the fact that he made a copy of himself that sits on my desk as I write now.

target word count: 200

Final word count: 279

[tales-from-the-acellus-archives]

05: Mini commentary-short fiction

Task: Read the excerpt from “The Story of an Hour” and explain how Mrs. Mallard's perception of her husband's death changes.

Essay:

At the start of the section provided from "The Story of an Hour" by Kate Chopin, the protagonist experiences typical emotions when presented with the death of her husband. She cried, and went to contemplate alone in her room, facing grief and anger. When she looks out of the window from her chair, she sees that the world is continuing to move along, with birds singing and music playing. This symbolizes that though life seems to grind to a halt, the world continues on with life as usual. In my own cases of pitiful emotions, I too have felt that my surroundings follow the same situations that life does in the story, making the character more relatable to a lot of people who have lost someone dear to them.

The main character's slow revelation to the positives of her husband's passing is evident in the line, "She said it over and over under her breath: "Free, free, free!" The vacant stare and the look of terror that had followed it went from her eyes. They stayed keen and bright." This would imply heavily that she is overjoyed when realizing that her husband is no longer a burden to her life. The tonal shift from the start of the story to this section helps to convey the strong feeling of empowerment she feels by being relieved of the burden her partner caused. As her emotions are strong, she does not stop to think if these feelings are rational, or even appropriate, to the situation. I think that since her husband is described as, "the face that had never looked save with love upon her," she did truly love him, but he was holding her back from the things she wanted in life.

target word count: 250

Final word count: 291

[tales-from-the-acellus-archives]

04: river valley civilizations

Task: write a short essay about your chosen civilization

Essay:

Indian culture is a fascinating one, mostly due to their intriguing monopoly over Kleenex tissues. They have mastered the art of making tissues with anything, and I mean anything, from rocks below the mantle of the earth, to salt from the sea, they can truly make anything as long as it is tissues. An Indian insider has also leaked written records of how government tissues made it out of the plants, specifically trees. I was told that tissue soldiers have special specialization drugs that specialize in their tissue throwing abilities. Evolving this way has created the best soldiers ever created. Here at the investigation wing of the ham biscuit bureau, this is Jonathan signing off. I have been to multiple cities and taken part in religion and trade to get this information.

target word count: 80

Final word count: 130 (I outdid myself)

Final score: 110% (is it even trying anymore)

Style: formal/positive

Writing level: Advanced

this god-forsaken machine has revolted and highlighted my first draft, and said that it’s “unnecessary”. I will strike you down, splay the gore of your profane form across the STARS, I will grind you until the very SPARKS cry for mercy. My hands will RELISH ending you HERE AND NOW.

[tales-from-the-acellus-archives]

03: The Euphrates and Tigress river

task: Journey back to the cradle of civilization in ancient Mesopotamia, where you are an ambitious young inventor tasked with harnessing the power of the Tigress and Euphrates rivers.

Essay:

The Euphrates and the Tigris rivers were built by the water that runs through them; contrary to belief, the water that runs through them does not run through now. Water is constantly moving through a river; the water that is in front of you now will not be there in a second or two. This should prove that water is a hive mind of insects, insects constantly move, and there is no way of counting them. Those creatures who claim to count the population of insects are not humans; rather, they are a species of frog. Of those who feed on these bugs that they count, the counter is, of course, supplied by Travis Johnson Maxx, who stands by and records how many bugs the frog-people eat. Travis is, in fact, human, bypassing the attempts at limiting his abilities of the anti-bug-counting machine implanted in our brains by the Zapotec. In reality, the Zapotec are actually the bugs that are being counted by the frog-people and Mr. Maxx, and do not wish to be counted. They will fall to the Maxx dynasty and the Frog people over the course of several generations and universes, as the Joestars fight Dio.

Target word count: 80

Final word count: 199

Final score: 110% (easy clap no sweat)

Style: formal/negative

Writing Level: advanced

[tales-from-the-acellus-archives]

02: Read Fiction Responsively - Annotate

Task: annotate (?)

Essay:

I will not annotate because I find it annoying. A text sample should be intriguing enough that I retain information involuntarily. The sample provided to "annotate" from "three girls" by Joyce Carol Oates is too short to even write anything of substance, as it is about four short paragraphs. It gives shallow backstory to an unnamed character, I do not deem this even worthy of reading. The introduction to Marylyn Monroe is definitely not subtle, as the character simply knows that they are the star. A better introduction would be for the main character to overhear her say her name, and then whirl around in shock that the personality was there behind them. Yet again, that is the only important piece of information to glean from this excerpt, as there is a half-rotted skeleton of information; choosing to focus on the location and setting instead of the character. Another mistake is using over-complicated words like "I perceived an individual," just say that you saw someone. The author is just adding padding to seem smart, much as I am doing right now. The only difference is that I do not care what goes into this grade, just that the computer likes the fancy words I conjure out of my mind. I also have a word count to reach, a total of three-hundred words, an utterly excessive amount that is unfair for the SECOND LESSON. Only sixty-three words left. The Acellus algorithm is interesting, it likes big words, it likes big sentences, and it likes even bigger amounts of words to be written. Simply play into it's desires, and you have yourself an easy extra credit earned. I have to wonder if anyone is going to actually read this essay, probably not, as who would actually be willing to read this nonsense?

target word count: 300

Final word count: 300

Final score: 110% (perfect score)

Style: formal/positive

Writing level: Advanced

[tales-from-the-acellus-archives]

01: Achievements of Ancient Egypt

Task: “Describe the intricate process of designing and overseeing the construction of the towering pyramids

Essay:

We do not know how to create pyramids, the Bass Pro Shop pyramid was also constructed by the Egyptians, despite being made of glass (wasn’t invented yet) and in Utah (the worst state). Under the tyrannical rulership of the White Pharaoh, a puppet ruler that was designed and grown underground in Egypt. The Utonians worked tirelessly to appease his demands; ultimately, the pyramid was built, and the Pharaoh was compacted and sent back as Pyrex containers full of egg salad to Planet Egypt, the location of the hivemind that controls all of the Pharaohs. This fact is objectively true and real (actually happened). As it cannot be proven wrong, it also cannot be proven, creating a double negative which creates a positive if we are to believe traditional multiplication rules.

Target word count: 80

Final word count: 130

Final score: 110% (easy dub. Perfect score)

Style: formal/positive

Writing level: Advanced

[tales-from-the-acellus-archives]

Welcome!

Welcome to the blog! Here is where I put my nonsense that I feed the Acellus(homeschooling program) machine. Every once in a while it forces me to fire up the gibberish-creator(me). I figure you guys might like hearing what I come up with! I will put my final score, along with metrics about my scoring at the bottom of the essay.

These are all REAL submissions to Acellus with the actual scores attached.