tamsin-tw-blog

[tamsin-tw-blog]

Friendship

All right, this is getting a bit complicated which is something I'm also new and trying to adjust to it. Having too much physical contact with your best friend and however he told you don't keep the hope of having any further relationship with him. These whole stuff honestly is very difficult to make it, to be honest. Because it seems whenever the stuff relates to a male and a female emotionally, mentally, things surely would have more than one layer to sort it out. I'm a positive and very gentle person, I wouldn't ask someone to do something that he/she feels not okay with it, but it just the feelings, those emotions do really bother me a lot. I'm very sure my friend wouldn't have those thoughts or any problems of those stuff, he seems deals with it very well. Maybe I'm just getting jealous which is really bad but normal hahaha that probably means something which I have to get used to it and conquer it about. I mean he has his life and same for me, right? Perhaps I shouldn't put too much attention on him, in case I keep myself thinking the same stuff again and again which is extremely helpless lol

Move on and let go. Face it. Accept it. Get use to it.

[tamsin-tw-blog]

Where?

I've been looking forward to come here again, as part of my dream, I've achieved the first step now and get into the full stage. However, I kinda feel lost and don't know what direction I should go for, why is that? This has been all I want like forever when I was still in the college, now I'm actually achieving for it and feeling lost. Hopefully there would be some positive light show up to motivate me and guide me!

[tamsin-tw-blog]

Take care!

Safe trip, grandma, may you rest in peace. You don't need to suffer any more pain from the illness or any other stuff, I'm glad you left peacefully and quietly. That's such a big relief. Thank you for all those time taking care of us when our parents were busy and always gave us so many foods, snacks and sweets. You and grandpa are the best grandparents ever in my life even I don't feel close with you but I can sincerely feel from my buttom of heart that you guys were extremely cool and caring ♥️ thank you for giving me chance to have that honour to enjoy the moment of being spoiled by grandparents. You guys are awesome. I'm gonna miss you, I hope you'll live happily there with grandpa and don't forget to take care of yourself more after all, you deserve it! We love you.

[tamsin-tw-blog]

Thinking makes us have time to stop and clear our mind. Communicating can help us to understand what we don't used to know. Think twice before you fall in some really deep and hard hole cause once you fall, you might broke yourself everywhere with wound and it'll take awhile to recover. Be aware.

[tamsin-tw-blog]

It can be addicted once you fall for someone or rely on someone. You might start to get the feeling stronger and stronger every time when you realize and it's too late because you've already dig in so deep already. You might feel it is so hard to get rid of it that the thing makes you addicted. Come on, you have your own life, why does it have to be related or think of it all the time and make yourself suffer from those strong but annoying emotions. Does he/she care? Does she/he even notice? What's the point to be so blind? Release, breathe and let go.

[tamsin-tw-blog]

It's about time to count down 📆 For that cozy and trouble free life🌈 New stage, new condition, new routine. #humanlife #worklife #jobsearching #happytimes #growingup #edinburgh #smile #happiness #journey #challenges #staystrongwoman https://www.instagram.com/p/BwMCIOUFVJ6/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1m263xbq8j8h6

[tamsin-tw-blog]

Working Holiday to UK has been part of my dream, however it seems I haven't prepared properly yet and about ready to go. I have no idea what the hell am I thinking, especially under the conditions that my families won't be able to sponsor me. I know they are not responsible for anything for me now since I'm already an adult but because of the timing disrupted, I couldn't work and earn some money as savings for living in UK. I am absolutely stressful now by considering how to collect enough money to find a place to live there with extremely tight budget without finding a job😕. I don't know. I have no clue if it's easy to find a job in UK as an outsider not even a European. I wish i can find some helpful information to help myself and earn some suggestions from those people who had been through those tough time already. What can I do?

[tamsin-tw-blog]

WHAT NOW

26/02/2019 Tuesday

Already one month since I back from UK. However, I’m glad I have found another life goal to continue my future that is Working Holiday. I finally got that damn luck, I really appreciate of it. I have the chance to apply the working holiday visa to UK. OMG. I’m so fucking exciting and happy. However, there are so much paper works have to be done first and before I get my visa back, I’ll probably won’t be able to let myself relax haha. And there are gonna be continuously stuff have to deal with ....let’s see how everything goes!!

[tamsin-tw-blog]

Return!

After that long 14 hrs flight, finally, I’m back home now. No more heavy luggage need to pull behind me but I really miss everything in UK. Honestly, I don’t really miss that much about the stuffs in my country, on the contrary, I feel more satisfied and enjoyable in England. It’s good to see my families again tho, not gonna lie, still, I would love to return back UK ASAP again!!

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🇳🇱 Beautiful but COLD #weedkingdom #weeds #legalweed #weedeverywhere #architectures #bicycles #trams #metro #train #cheese #rain #wind #wet #rotterdam #breda #amsterdam #schiphol #winter #couchsurfing (at Netherlands) https://www.instagram.com/p/BsjKO_4AWS_/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1ea3w7l2wr9g3

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Those Time ~

Sometimes something could just happen unexpected. This is one of my best friend ever in my whole life, who has been keeping in touch with me even we are far far away in different country. However, the distance wasn't our problem or even became obstacle between us, we leave long messages to each other everyday and reply once a day or longer which is fine for both side too. And we'll skype sometimes to talk face to face online. He's really an amazing and great person that i have ever met. I really love him a lot ! I love how wonderful our friendship is. Best one ever. I'm glad and appreciate it.

[tamsin-tw-blog]

move on and on...

When you find out that you really enjoy doing something or someone’s company, you might have the same feeling as me that everything can carry on the same, again and again, never stop. BUT, life gotta keep moving on, it will never stop as how you wish or expect to happen which is really pity and depressing. However, looking in the bright side, all those amazing worthless memories are gonna stuck in your head forever until the day you are no longer alive. It’s always good to keep positive thought and attitude to make our life better, instead of having tons of negative and useless thoughts in the head which is unhealthy at all. So, try to put those things down, enjoy every moment and keep in your mind, it will last forever whenever you think of those happy times. 

That’s just how life goes on and on. You just have to learn how to accept it and face it.

[tamsin-tw-blog]

You are not ALONE.

After being through some shitty stuffs, a hug from a friend or spending time with a good friend are always the best. Even when you are outside your country, being in a different place and totally on your own which is not exactly true. Because you will see who’s your real friend when you do need that EMERGENCY help from them. I do learn about that from being alone in England after quitting by being an au pair and started to wandering around from place to place but I’m glad that I have some really nice and amazing friends that are willing to offer me help. I truly appreciate everyone whoever gives me help during the whole time what I have been through.

[tamsin-tw-blog]

Best journey. Best company. Best human being. #edinburgh #explore #scotland #scottish #cheap #gorgeous #architectures #street #caltonhill #mountainclimbing #people #goodtimes #sharing #truefriendship #alcohol #hangover #cinema #movies #vue #walk #legs #feet #airbnb #nationalexpress #coach #longjourney #busnights #tourist (at Edinburgh, United Kingdom) https://www.instagram.com/p/BrXwCm4gUhp/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=11xiwm7t8j7d5

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Life : Made up by million of billion pieces things

People start to learn everything from the beginning of being born, learning how to cry,yes. The things we learn will only get more and more complicated and deeper into humanity. I’m 22 now, all the way from growing up, I gotta say, I really learn so many stuffs, I’m sure you must be the same. We both learn from others and ourselves,the processes are not easy but tough for sure.

Since we are living in a world where basically made up by humans, there are tons of chance to contact with HUMANS. I’ve observed and seen quite a load of cool things from humans, some are positive some are negative even might hurt you but it’s all about growing,right? I’ve been stupid, made mistakes, decisions in my whole life,well, it’s life, so why not. HAHAHA.

[tamsin-tw-blog]

Really?????

12/11/18

I don’t mean to complain so much,but SERIOUSLY does every host family know how exactly “au pair” works or just only some? Basically, being an au pair, you won’t have much free time during weekdays (even weekends), you have to stand by and if you go out too much, host mom will use that as knife to poke you which is SUCK.

Technically, as an au pair, you only need to do 5-6 hours per day, no more than 30 hours per week. I think some of host family doesn’t really care how many hours you have done, they just have “feeling” that you won’t work more than those specific hours...ughhh sometimes they might be right, sometimes NO,it’s really so hard to adjust to it with them and when you find out that they usually don’t need you during evening so you plan to go out and they blame you go out A LOT...what on earth is this kinda rule LOL

I guess it’s really really hard to find a host family that can actually “match” with you. If you do have a great and amazing host family then LUCKY YOU :) I’ve already been staying with three different families, so far, I still love the first one more even tons of housework have to do,only one day off per week at least, I can have dinner,lunch with kids and no need to starve. 

My articles about being au pair mostly are more like complaint. So you might won’t enjoy it too much lol but i hope it would be helpful for those people who wanna be an au pair in the future.

[tamsin-tw-blog]

THIS IS IT...IS IT?

There are load of different things that I learnt from being as au pair.

Living with host family can literally learn so much also, it’s not an easy task,to be honest. You are like an outsider, have no related to the family,sometimes could be awkward when they have family gathering or enjoy their family time. For me, usually I’ll just stay in my room or go out (if I can).

When host mother ask you to do some housework or help,the way how you used to make, they won’t really accept it. You gotta prepare ready for receiving some words from host mom. It could be both positive or negative, all depends on how you take those words. And remember to ask if you don’t really understand what exactly the host mom ask you to do,better than doing wrong again and again. There might be potentially misunderstand between how host mom and yours communication.

When you receive the order from host mom (I mean the stuffs that she ask you to do LOL) don’t think too much, just DO it, if you don’t know how, ask it. Simple and easy. Too much confusion will just bother yourself a lot,not worth it.

Anyway,for me,personally, I won’t really want to try another time to be an au pair anymore hahaha it’s enough for me. NO MORE.