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[teen-to-twenty-advice]

Lately, I feel as if my best friend and I are drifting apart and I don't know why. We've been together since elementary school, and now that we are juniors in high school, she's not as open to me anymore and we don't do much together even though I've tired. I don't know if I did something, but I really scared of losing her.

I think when people start drifting away, it’s not really a force that can be stopped. It’s like the tides. Maybe there’s something going on in her life that has her busy/distracted, or maybe you are just drifting apart. Regardless, all you can really do is keep offering to hang out and keep the door open. It’s up to her to walk through it!

In the meantime, maybe concentrate on meeting some new people and fostering some other friendships. Maybe she just needs a little space to figure out something going on in her life or something, and it would benefit you both for you to start building other friendships while she figures out things on her end. I doubt you did anything in particular. Sometimes people drift, and the best thing to do is just like the breeze blow you along, and maybe it’ll bring you two back together to be as close as before, but if not, it’s better that you let things happen organically anyway, because if you reacted the opposite way and got a little more clingy, it definitely wouldn’t help.

I’m sure it has nothing to do with you but more of the way life goes sometimes! I think it’s good if you continue being a friend and there for her, but it’s up to her to reciprocate and you should keep your worries to things you can control (your own actions) because that’s the best you can do. Hope everything works out!

[teen-to-twenty-advice]

Hi, so i recently started feeling kinda weird around one of my best friends (I'm suddenly very awkward and i keep stuttering whenever she's around). The problem is that I'm not sure whether this is a crush or not, because I've never fell for anyone before. Plus, I'm a girl as well, I've been questioning my sexuality for some time and i keep thinking that i don't really like her, that it's just a thing that i made myself think unconsciously because I'm so confused. What should i do?

Try not to overthink it! That’ll just make it harder for you to figure out how you feel. But obviously, easier said than done right??

This is possibly a very lame tactic but one that has worked for me sometimes: Whenever I felt like I might have been developing a crush on someone, I’d imagine a scenario where we’d kiss and then see if I felt into it or repulsed by it. Especially when it comes to friends, I found this helpful in determining whether I was crushing on a friend or just was dealing with other things and the friend happened to be on my mind at the same time.

I don’t think this is a catchall at all, because if you feel repulsed by the idea of kissing them, it could be for all kinds of reasons like maybe you just aren’t into kissing at all, but still might have a crush (emotional, or even physical, just minus kissing)—in which case the tactic would be a pretty useless method. (Being ace/aromantic/asexual is always something worth thinking about and exploring, and can be in addition to discovering you might be gay/bisexual/pansexual—but honestly these are just labels to help you recognize the fluidity of sexuality and romantic feelings, and is not meant to be constricting or a set of rules to how you can or cannot be. Just the opposite! You be you and just know that the you that you are could be anything, and that’s something you’ll discover in time and develop in time! And there’s PLENTY of time in your life to figure out what/who you like, so enjoy your time to reflect and discover.)

Back to the tactic: I think if you imagine that you would be into it, then I think that is a pretty clear sign you might be developing a crush. If you think you’d be repulsed, that makes things less clear.

Hope that helps? It’s such a weird and specific tactic but it might come in handy, and has been pretty good for me, especially when I haven’t wanted to make any actual moves but just get a sense for how I was feeling inside. It’s all about getting in tune with your feelings, which is something that you’ll get more and more accustomed to over time, and something you’ll never really stop growing with. Best of luck!

[teen-to-twenty-advice]

If you have anything to spare, it would be greatly appreciated.

He’s been struggling for a while now to make ends meet for grad school. He’s been too proud to ask for help in the past when he was barely scraping by, but the job he was working was recently forced to let him go because of lost funding and he is now scrambling to fill the gap it has left. He has turned to asking for help only because the situation has become dire. He was already living on day old scones and rice, but that will become a luxury soon.

He’s been trying to get work, doing as many little jobs as he can along the way, trying to help his mother move, and will soon run out of things to sell. It’s been hard and stressful. He just needs enough to survive until December and then he’ll be done with his grad school commitments for now. He’s just trying to finish up his teaching/class commitments for grad school and is not asking for much.

Anything helps.

https://www.gofundme.com/a28z785wr8z

Thank you so much.

[teen-to-twenty-advice]

Hey..how do you reassure yourself in high school? I'm a junior and the #1 thing on my mind is college. I want so badly to be good enough for my dream college, but my self-esteem drops when I see how smart everyone else is. I can't explain this feeling, but I feel overwhelmed by fear that all my efforts won't be good enough. I would say that I'm in a good position, but not #1 and that's where my fear comes from.

I know that feeling well!! As hard as it is, the secret is just to not compare yourself to others. Some people have natural/societal advantages that you don’t have, just as you have advantages that they don’t have. It’s about doing the best that you can, and putting on blinders to ignore what everyone else is doing. If you do the best you can, that’s really all you can do. But also know that doing the best you can means taking care of yourself, treating your mind/body right, and challenging yourself a healthy amount. You will get into a school that’s perfect for you, whether or not you believe it in the moment. The school you go to will be your match, and it’ll allow you to be the best version of yourself that you can be. Don’t focus on being the best out of everyone you know—that’s a hard thing to do and a hard thing to live with. Focus on being the best you. Anyone who does otherwise is just wearing down their brakes and stressing themselves out, for sure! And nothing good will ever come from that.

Good luck!!

[teen-to-twenty-advice]

Hey! So I had some questions about math and ib- I'm currently in Grade 9 'pre-ib' math and my math teacher recommended I drop to academic. The thing is, I've heard 'It gets easier' after grade 9, since grade 9 is mainly a year for diagnostic work. I'm quite familiar with the topics in the grade 10 pre-ib math course. I was wondering if I could get your opinion on this and how I should study for math as well. Is there anything you recommend I study the summer between grade 9 and 10? Thank you!

I think grade 10 IB pre-math differs per region. Technically I took Algebra 2 (I think??? Algebra 1, Algebra 2, Calc AB, Calc BC/Stats was my schedule throughout the years, I believe). I’m not sure what to recommend because of this, but I think you should follow your gut and not what your teacher thinks. Your teacher doesn’t know you as well as you know yourself! Trust your instinct first and do whatever that says. See if you can look over work for the 10th grade math class (maybe from another student or the teacher or by searching online) and consider if you think it’s something you can handle.

[teen-to-twenty-advice]

Im a year 9 in an advanced maths class and recently broke up with my bf (went well) but i think a cute guy in my class has a crush on me.1. He stands or sits near me alot (especially in excursions) 2.his friends stare at me. 3. After ive done some random assignment and we hand them up, he goes and looks at mine through the pile and nods all interested like. 4. He asks what class we have alot even tho he has a timetable. Hes shy, and im even shyer so i have no idea...whaddya think?

Maybe!! Strike up a conversation with him every time he’s around and see what he does next. That’s the only way to tell! (Letting things advance)

[teen-to-twenty-advice]

if you don't mind me asking what was your gpa in high school? unweighted and weighted

I can’t remember to be honest! It might be somewhere on the blog. Sorry :(

[teen-to-twenty-advice]

So I've always struggled with my sexuality. I've always thought I was bi but I've only ever dated guys. Recently I started talking to this girl, and I think she likes me. She always flirts with me and calls me pretty and I think I like her too. But at the same time, talking to her makes me super nervous, and not like the cute butterflies I usually have when I talk to guys. Idk if it's because it's something new or if it's because I might actually just be straight. I don't know what I should do.

I don’t think you should overthink labels. I think they can sometimes be helpful in giving you a word for your feelings, but sometimes they can hurt by clouding your mind with expectations. Just go with the flow and meditate on your feelings. Do you want to kiss her/date her? Do you feel like she’s a person you want to spend a lot of time with and get to know deeply? Don’t overthink it. Just let whatever happens happen and be open to anything as well as in tune as much as possible with your feelings (as confusing as they may be).

[teen-to-twenty-advice]

I really wanna go to a good school but my gpa is only a 3.85 (unweighted) I haven't taken the SAT or ACT yet but I am taking prep classes. By "good school" I mean George Washington University or maybe even John Hopkins. I'm a junior so it's a bit too late but what can I do?

I think you’re doing just fine! Rock your SAT/ACT and see how your scores pan out. Keep doing extracurriculars and working up your GPA as much as possible. Then all you can really do is cross your fingers and apply.

[teen-to-twenty-advice]

Did you take any of the SAT subject tests? & if so what advice would you give for how to study for them?

Yes, I can’t remember which ones but I had to take 3 I think for my college apps. Definitely get barron’s/princeton review/etc. books from the library. I think they make books for every subject. Familiarize yourself with the content by taking practice tests. Look up info online. You got this! It shouldn’t be too challenging or different from your typical classwork if you pick subjects you’ve studied.

[teen-to-twenty-advice]

Hey, so there's this girl... And I found out about her through YouTube and we have exactly the same kind of humor and personality Ect and I really want to talk to her but idk how and idk what to say and even if she'd want to talk to me because she lives in another state and also I'm afraid she won't like me in that way or I'll scare her off some how and I just don't know how to talk to her to basically ask to be friends but I really really really like her but I just don't know what to do... HELP

Just say hi! It can’t hurt. Just be yourself. Make jokes. Be nice. You can even just be straightforward and say exactly what you just told me (but reworded for her, of course). Like, “hey, your videos are cool and I really want to be your friend! Sorry if you think that’s weird haha, but if not [insert friendly question here to stimulate conversation]” --something chill like that. Don’t overthink!

[teen-to-twenty-advice]

Hey so on your previous blog you mentioned you almost failed your extended essay. I'm just starting mine now, so do you have any tips that you think would have helped you?

I think really focusing on analysis was what I was missing. With every piece of background information you give (in a sentence or up to a paragraph), you MUST match it with analysis. What are you getting from that information? How is that information helping to prove your point? What is that information proving? It has to be balanced. I had more history (who’d a thunk a history paper would be penalized for having too much history) and less analysis. I think I also heard that they made the EEs easier after my year? (Or was it harder?) So things may have changed a lot since I wrote mine.

[teen-to-twenty-advice]

I am currently in my junior year about to finish up the year. My gpa is at about a 3.0 unweighted and 3.48 weighted. My father wants me to quit all my extracurriculars for next senior, my senior year. My extracurriculars include one club (about 3 hours/week total), One volunteer position (one 4 hour shift/week), One class thru school (more intensive in 1st semester, not really in 2nd). Should I listen to him or continue my extracurriculars regardless? Will that affect my college apps?

Colleges would probably like to see you continue in your extracurriculars (but also, tbh, I can’t imagine they’d look into it enough to know if you had quit or not). I suggest remaining in at least one extracurricular and/or scaling back your participation. Ease up so you can concentrate on applying to college and not stress yourself out, but don’t quit all of them completely if you can avoid it. Which one do you think will help you the most on your college apps? Stick with that one. 

[teen-to-twenty-advice]

Sorry for the absence! I’m back.

I finished up my semester and just graduated yesterday. I realize that some of your questions may have been time sensitive and I apologize if I could not get to them in time. I’m answering now with the hopes that others will benefit from the answers if not the askers themselves.

Updates on my life: Graduated from Cornell University (Class of 2016) and started my job at a production company working on an unscripted television show out in Los Angeles.

Thanks for sticking around, guys!

[teen-to-twenty-advice]

So there's this guy in my band class and he's a year above me (he's a senior, I'm a junior) and for some weird reason ever since last summer I've slowly become more and more attracted to him? He and I have never really talked either but I'm pretty sure he at least knows my first name...He also stays with his section for the most part and he's on the quiet side (so am I) so it's hard to approach him...What do you think I should do? Wait or just go for it and start a conversation? Thanks so much!

Definitely go for it! Find an excuse to start a conversation, or just straight up start one out of the blue. If you’re both quiet, a conversation/relationship/etc. may never start up if you don’t spark it. Good luck!! You got this.

[teen-to-twenty-advice]

About 2 months ago a guy asked me out. I hadn't talked to him before but I knew who he was. I said no to him, I told him I was involved with someone else at the time (truth was I was scared because I hadn't ever been asked out before) and then I told him he should talk to my friend because she liked him. Well they started dating and I got to know him a bit better and now I have a really big crush on him. I don't think him and my friend are suitable, and I think me and him would be a good couple.

All you can do is wait. You said no to him and now he’s dating someone else. You can only make a move when he and that other person have ended it. Don’t get between them, even if you’re sure that you and him would have something special. You don’t want things to start out that way. Let the relationship run its course and don’t interfere! If it’s meant to be, it will be.

[teen-to-twenty-advice]

I'm not sure if you would know the answer to all of these, but, which prep books would you recommend for APUSH(new), AP Bio, IB Spanish B SL, SAT (new), and ACT? For my first AP I bought Barron's and then my second one I bought Princeton (which I felt did not help). I can't really afford to buy both for each subject at the moment either :/ Also, I'll be self-studying for AP Bio too and want to purchase a book that will help the most.

I actually never bought any--I just went to the library and checked them out from there. I recommend that route for sure. And when I did, I generally went for Barron’s, and I think most people I knew did too. Good luck!