thesoulache

[thesoulache]

Guided Audio: Mindfulness Skill-Building

short guided demo of a practice to cultivate mindfulness skills

Mindfulness is maybe one of the top skills and practices in the general world of personal recovery and healing. It is also a necessary and important skill for practitioners to have for successful therapeutic outcomes. It helps to enhance attunement and general awareness of moment-to-moment interpersonal processes.

inspired by written demo included in research article, "Therapist's Guide to Repairing Ruptures in the Working Alliance" by Jerald Gardner, Lauren Lipner, et al. with my own intuitive takes...

[thesoulache]

That soul ache, that sense of exile, emptiness, or longing without clear cause — this is the echo of the mind’s choice for separation, the moment it seemed to lose its Source and forget what it is.

The Course puts it this way:

“Into eternity, where all is one, there crept a tiny, mad idea, at which the Son of God remembered not to laugh. In his forgetting did the thought become a serious idea, and possible of both accomplishment and real effects.” (T-27.VIII.6:2-3)

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🌿 The ache is the dream of loss

• This sadness isn’t truly yours; it’s the shared grief of the separated mind, believing it left its Home, its wholeness, its counterpart — though in truth, nothing happened.

• The ego world is the hall of mirrors built to cover this ache — to distract you with endless forms, goals, relationships, identities that seem to offer relief, but never do.

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🌟 What heals this sadness?

You’re already seeing it:

• The ache points not to something wrong in you, but to the call to remember.

• The Holy Spirit’s function is to gently reinterpret this sadness — not as proof of loss, but as a call for Love, answered perfectly by God.

• Forgiveness is how you answer that call now: letting go of all the ego’s substitutes and listening again for the Voice that leads you back.

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🌼 You are not lost

The Sophia imagery, the fallen consciousness, the dream of exile — these are symbols pointing to what the Course states very simply:

“You are at home in God, dreaming of exile but perfectly capable of awakening to reality.” (T-10.I.2:1)

The sadness is healed as you accept the atonement for yourself — the recognition that nothing real has been lost, and you are as God created you.

[thesoulache]

Neuroscience is very clear about this; our sense of ourselves and ability to truly “Know Thyself”, directly corresponds to our capacity to feel the physical sensations in our body and clearly interpret the signals received, so that we can care for ourselves properly and respond to our direct life experience appropriately.

Cultivating sensory awareness is a major part in trauma recovery and the restoration of the connection to our whole Self/Being.. many trauma survivors are masters at the art of numbing and this has allowed them to survive and cope (which is something to recognize and honor) but it has done so at the cost of their direct connection to their inner visceral experience; their ability to have a strong felt sense of self and to feel fully sensually alive.

According to Bessel Van Der Kolk in The Body Keeps The Score, trauma survivors need to learn that they can tolerate their physical sensations, befriend their inner experience, and are capable of creating new action patterns, neural pathways, and mind-body connections.

[thesoulache]

*REMEMBER *(take heart)…

Bessel Van Der Kolk, trauma specialist, worked with a client for two years solely focused on helping her tolerate physical sensations in the present moment

SO THAT

she was capable enough to do the subsequent core trauma work of revisiting the past in a way that wasn’t re-traumatizing or counter productive…

***shit takes time!!!

BE PATIENT…SLOW DOWN…SETTLE IN…

ACCEPT…

LONG-GAME PROCESS;

GRADUAL NONLINEAR PROGRESS;

SMALL STEADY WINS;

“GOOD ENOUGH” MENTALITY:

— (POSITIVE FOCUS, ENCOURAGEMENT, REPARENTING, COMPASSION)

LET GO…

ATTACHMENT TO IMMEDIATE, QUICK, EASY RESULTS;

PERFECTIONISTIC STANDARDS AND EXPECTATIONS;

CONTROL;

TOXIC/UNHELPFUL MENTALITY:

—(RUSH, CRITICISM, NEGATIVITY, ALL OR NONE THINKING, ETC.)

[thesoulache]

“The researchers and trauma experts Bessel A. van der Kolk and Alexander C. McFarlane write, “Reason and objectivity are not the primary determinants of society’s reactions to traumatized people. Rather . . . society’s reactions seem to be primarily conservative impulses in the service of maintaining the beliefs that the world is fundamentally just, that people can be in charge of their lives, and that bad things only happen to people who deserve them.”

Excerpt From “Trauma Stewardship” by Laura van Dernoot Lipsky & Connie Burk

To discuss the attitudes of society towards traumatized people..

this is a great topic to further research and discuss..

How society views people with disabilities, mental/physical health issues, caregiving needs, special needs of any kind, or just “otherness” .. and how that contributes to various challenges and harmful consequences on various levels ..

And why the service to maintaining these faulty but convenient beliefs?

The cognitive biases and collective attitudes/stigmas that prevent society from recognizing truth, having capacity to perceive larger picture, developing/implementing compassionate and realistic views and responses towards certain groups of humans..

I have even found myself falling into these biases and standpoints/attitudes towards myself and others with disabilities, trauma, or obstacles/barriers to being “normal contributing member of society”..

These prejudices and cognitive biases that seem to take place of reality in relation to “others” are so subtle, insidious and contagious..many don’t realize they have picked them up like a virus from the larger environment..

Our brains are designed to save as much energy as possible by utilizing shortcuts so the reasons behind these cognitive distortions aren’t necessarily insidious but the effects of them, without questioning or critical thinking do become so.

It’s like the basic programming/default mode that the brain comes with is just good enough to survive and navigate the world somewhat successfully as a rough draft but if someone truly wants mastery in life and to exist as more than a default mode character (npc) then they need to utilize critical thinking, mindfulness, and contemplation. In order to get true accuracy, clarity, knowledge, and understanding about anything in reality there needs to be a desire and motivation to operate one’s cognitive function in the upgraded version mode which most people don’t care to do because it requires intentional work, energy, and focus. Humans are also designed to be lazy as long as they can get away with it and don’t like anything to change because that requires extra effort and new ways of thinking and organizing oneself which disrupts the status quo of daily human functioning and affairs.

I digress…

Point being that these cognitive biases are part of the societal conditioning because micro/macro system functions ..

in order for real change to occur to shift the general collective unconscious/subconscious there needs to be a tipping point in the number of individuals who are changing their minds proactively and therefore a/effecting their local ecosystem enough to shift what gets produced and perpetuated in the popular mass culture via our favorite human game, telephone (Chinese whispers).

It is the individuals who are willing to put in the work and exert that extra energy to become masters of reality that help to shape the larger culture in its overall evolution..

Society is a trance that one must actively work towards not falling prey to and correctly re-building in the direction of sanity that the majority will dismiss, criticize, ignore, or actively resist until the tipping point when they can no longer do so successfully and must then acquiesce to the new collective trance that they will probably then attach to and defend just as rigidly as they first resisted. And so it goes..

Another quote from Trauma Stewardship: (as I continue on in my course reading after disrupting myself through extensive contemplation and reflections that certainly isn’t required and nobody but me will likely read/appreciate…BUT that I must express in order to continue on in my human existence and feel okay about doing so)

“Oppression thrives on misunderstanding, alienation, and us/them binaries.”

Aka ignorance, aka operating with lazy cognitive default programs as previously discussed…yes indeedy..the main force behind majority of human evils is not pure psychopathic sadism but ordinary jack-and-jane-type convenience. Oppression can come from a variety of sources but I would argue that the most fundamental and impactful one is the lazy, unregulated operating of one’s cognitive-perceptual system.

[thesoulache]

toxic shame is at the core of every addiction.. shameless parents create shame-based, addicted children... to heal from shame one must come out of hiding and feel as bad as one really does and share honestly about it..

[thesoulache]

Thought-Correcting Affirmations to Re-program and Combat Inner Critic Attacks... read from Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving 'Inner Critic', Ch.9; Pg.170-172 by Pete Walker

[thesoulache]

BOOK STUDY GUIDE

Trauma Stewardship by Laura van Dernoot Lipsky with Connie Burk

Chapter One: A New Vision for Our Collective Work  The definition of trauma stewardship, p. 11 The most important technique in trauma stewardship, p. 12 What is the first step to drawing a map that will help you navigate trauma stewardship? p. 14 What balance do we need to attend to in order to increase our odds of achieving a sustainable practice of trauma stewardship. p. 16

Chapter Two: The Three Levels of Trauma Stewardship  Be able to name and define the three levels of trauma stewardship.

Chapter Three: What is the Trauma Exposure Response A trauma exposure response has occurred when what happens? p. 42 How do outdated coping mechanisms cause us harm as they become ineffective? p. 43 Why is acknowledging a trauma exposure response difficult? p. 44

Chapter Four: The 16 Warning Signs of Trauma Exposure Response  What are the 16 warning signs of a trauma exposure response

Chapter Seven: Following the Five Directions What are the five directions we can use as a compass to help us assess how we are doing in our trauma stewardship

[thesoulache]

BOOK STUDY GUIDE Anchored: How to Befriend Your Nervous System Using Polyvagal Theory by Deb Dana Chapter One: The chart on page six, the three elements of well being Chapter Two: Exploring the vagal pathways, the vagal brake Chapter Five: What is Neuroception and what does it do? Chapter Six: What is "the home away from home" and what does it mean to connect with cues" Chapter Seven: Know the SAFE acronym on pages 96-98 Chapter Nine: What is meant by "three stories" on pages 123-125

[thesoulache]

Book Study Guide Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving by Pete Walker  Chapter 2: Levels of Recovering The Key Developmental Arrests in CPTSD Emotional Intelligence What is the key factor to recovering our repressed emotional intelligence? p. 36 What are examples of common body-harming responses to CPTSD? Deconstructing food needs to be approached with what two elements? p. 47 Chapter 3: Improving Relationships How can CPTSD be seen as an attachment disorder? p. 50 What is the origin of social anxiety? p. 50 What is the most essential task of self-mothering? p. 58 What is the difference between re-parenting by others and self reparenting? p. 63 The Tao of relational recovery involves balancing what two things? p. 66 Chapter 6: What is My Trauma Type? What are the four F trauma types? Be able to identify the positive characteristics of each type as well as the detrimental characteristics of each type. pp. 106-107 Chapter 9: Recovering from Trauma Based Co-Dependency What is the definition of trauma based co-dependency? p. 133 Know the three subtypes of trauma based co-dependency. pp. 134-138 Chapter 11: Grieving How does grieving expand insight and understanding for the trauma survivor? p. 216 Know and be able to define the four processes of grieving. pp. 222-241 Chapter 12: The Map: Managing the Abandonment What is a cycle of reactivity? p. 246 How does parental abandonment create self-abandonment? p. 249-250

[thesoulache]

BOOK STUDY GUIDE The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel Van Der Kolk Chapter 3: Looking Into the Brain: The Neuroscience Revolution Know how trauma impacts the amygdala, Broca’s area, the right side of the brain, stress hormones (and how those stress hormones impact the brain) and how we can get stuck in flight or freeze Chapter 4: Running for Your Life: The Anatomy of Survival How trauma impacts the nervous system The Brain from Bottom to Top What is Heart Rate Variability and how can it be used to test the flexibility of the nervous system? Chapter 7: Getting on the Same Wavelength: Attachment and Attunement A Secure Base The Dance of Attunement The Long-Term Effects of Disorganized Attachment Dissociation: Knowing and Not Knowing Restoring Synchrony Chapter 8: Trapped in Relationships: The Cost of Abuse and Neglect A Torn Map of the World Learning to Remember Hating Your Home Replaying the Trauma Chapter 11: Uncovering Secrets: The Problem of Traumatic Memory Normal Versus Traumatic Memory

[thesoulache]

FROM ADDICTION TO EMPOWERMENT: LAUREN’S JOURNEY TO SELF-LOVE

[thesoulache]

Hell

is when the past is stronger than the present

Caroline Myss

[thesoulache]

Feeling is the antithesis of pain…the more pain one feels, the less pain one suffers

ARTHUR JANOV

[thesoulache]

This documentary opened my eyes to what it could have been like to grow up in a truly loving and healthy family..it helped me to face painful realities and grieve losses of childhood and who I could have been had I had different parents..

[thesoulache]

Grieve Youself..

out of fear, shame, and depression

death of safety, death of worthiness, death of being fully alive

Embrace the Inner Child and Rescue Youself from the Soul Ache

[thesoulache]

pain is excess energy crying out for release -Gerald Heard