thoughts-of-therese

[thoughts-of-therese]

[thoughts-of-therese]

Acceptance is SO different than denial. DEAL WITH IT

[thoughts-of-therese]

Winner in disguise

A long time ago, I've always carried this thought by heart that if i blocked a certain person, it means that I'm letting them win over me or them taking me for granted.

But as I grew older, I realized that being a winner is being the one who initiates first. When you block someone immediately, it doesn't mean your being bitter on the whole situation, it simply means that you are just done with them. Meaning, you are now finished and have moved on from them, now ready to take a big step and start a new chapter of your life without them.

A year's almost passed with my big thing gone by and I realized so far that the world never revolved from such thing. I learned that life goes on through ups and downs. 11 months have passed and still here I am, still going on, striving, and growing. I now know what I am capable and where I should be in.

Though I still carry that grief in my heart everyday, still get stutters and difficulties on how to share my side of the story to other people, I now that I am truly strong to share people that story after all and eventually, persuading people and insisting what I did wrong. I mean it, I was wrong that night and I won't deny it after all. But if ever you try and talk about it to other people, why not invite me to the table and I'll share to you on how I managed to pick myself up from that dark past.

So don't be guilty if ever people won't get you because they never will. Your choices may be a hindrance to others but as long as it doesn't bother you anymore, then you're not doing anything wrong.

Keep yourself in peace 🌻

[thoughts-of-therese]

It's funny how the Scorpio sign is shaped like an "M" and I get hooked and stuck with people's names that start with the letter M.

[thoughts-of-therese]

day 3 of productivity

For today, our saturday classes got cancelled and I only stayed in my dorm room for the day. But this didn't just make me lazy and all, I got all worked up and got a headstart for some of my upcoming quizzes this week.

Made flashcards for 2 major subjects

Ate breakfast and lunch

Didn't take long naps

Cleaned my bathroom

Finished all of my food

Takeaways: I really hoped this day could just go slow. This was great as I got to make things I would normally cram and end up procrastinating myself. I really wish that I could continue this energy in me flowing until midterms and hopefully until finals. These days just made me realize to study as much as you can. Because in the upcoming tests, we'll never know what will be on those papers.

Expect the unexpected

Carry on 🍃

[thoughts-of-therese]

His grace is enough to fill every gap and meet every need you have. — 2 Corinthians 12:9

[thoughts-of-therese]

day 2 of productivity

That day just has gone so fast like wind. didn't even realize that how every second flew by without me noticing. Here were some of the deets of how my day went:

Survived my parasitology laboratory exams (I didn't even care whether i passed or not, I was just glad that it was over)

It rained

Socialized with my blockmates from other the other section

Takeaways: I didn't even actually mind if I passed or not but I was just happy that it was over. I know it wasn't really productive but the fact that I was able to wake up early was actually a really good start.

My blockmates from the other section were actually not bad. They were sociable and they know how to adjust with people. This didn't make me adjust too much towards them. I knew to myself that I am a pretty sociable person but for this year, I just didn't feel like it. I feel better to be more quiet and be a listener than being a yapper. Sure, I also give out pieces of advice but some things just bug me out and that I don't feel really easy at all. I feel like there are limits and boundaries on whom I can only talk to. I don't feel the freedom to talk to anyone just because of that one thing I have done that truly crushed my self-esteem.

But more or less, this too shall pass. Nothing's permanent in this world. Because I believe in the saying that life is like a wheel. Sometimes you are at the top, and sometimes you are at the bottom. Despite the positions and places it goes, this continues to move forward.

Look forward to better things.

[thoughts-of-therese]

day 1 of productivity

I actually made a previous DOP series and unfortunately, I forgot about all of it. So now, I'm trying to start again from scratch. Here's a summary of what I did throughout the day:

woke up at 4am

ate breakfast

nailed my physical ed. exams

able to get a manageable grade in theology

bought dinner

finished studying for parasitology exams (barely)

Takeaways: My day wasn't actually that productive yet alteast I was able to make some good things. Although I didn't get outstanding scores in my exams or grades in my subjects, well atleast I was able to get by. I know that I am not that good of a student but atleast I now know where I will make my improvements and where should I focus more.

I never expected that I would be this kind of person. From a straight A's student to an average student. From someone who used to aim for high grades to someone who just barely passes. I never really thought that college would really humble me this hard and of all majors, I wound up in one of the most complex majors in medicine. Well, I guess this is just how life goes and that this is also where my potential could be tested.

Take failures as challenges.

Improvements can happen without you noticing.

Carry on 🍃

[thoughts-of-therese]

Every setback is a setup for God’s glory to shine through.

[thoughts-of-therese]

Miles and miles away

I still don't know why I still write to you. Maybe because you still bother me and that we didn't get that right closure back in the day. Three things that I have been in awe to ask you was that:

How are you? Eyes don't lie, and I know when eyes are happy and when they are not. Especially yours. A friendship like ours was like a plant that was growing yet it chose to die. I hope you have friends whom you can share those things to. Someone who are willing to listen and spend their time listening to whatever things you have to tell.

How's everything at home? I know this is practically not my business but I notice you get much problems at home and that you rather to be outside rather than at home. I get that there may be things that you are facing outside school but do you know that I am so proud of you. You just pick this attitude and wear a mask on your face and just be a whole new you. That's talent.

It just saddens me how life turned this direction wherein we pass by each other. It really feels like you're miles and miles away.

So near yet so far

[thoughts-of-therese]

Prelims done!

It's a wrap for one of the worst days of my life. Specifically, days of my life. My first prelims for this semester really stunned me through the core and truly showed me in the phase that I wasn't basically ready nor didn't prepare much for the examinations. But to be honest, I was just really glad that it was all over. Like wow, those days literally humbled me to the core because I know for a fact that I didn't do so well. Here's a short breakdown of how it went:

Clinical Chemistry: This one really hit me because despite everything, all I remembered was that only 30% of what I studied came out of everything I studied. Laboratory mathematics seemed so simple yet so hard. Maybe something that I need to work out on.

Medical Parasitology: Everything was on case-analysis. I didn't go in-depth on this one since I focused on CC. I failed this one terribly. I personally wasn't proud of myself on this one because I really didn't do well.

Laws and Bioethics: This one also hit me hardcore. I didn't identify and study the laws well. This is probably why I went with studying sciences rather than laws and ethics because they're all tiring to study on and that they can all be irritating since you have to memorize numerous sections, laws, and principles ALL AT ONCE. Literally, I didn't have a clue on what was going on that day.

Cytology and Genetics: This one didn't really affect me hard since I knew that I studied, it was just that I didn't expect it to be like THIS HARD. Yes none were situational but they were all on memorization of the definitions, physiology, and basically on how one thing is different from the other. It was a good thing that biochemistry was on my side since I still had some of that knowledge in my head and helped me pass through the exam.

Reflection: I know I didn't perform well and am not really proud of it to be honest. Subjects were hard, quizzes and exams are also hard to maintain since they were all in a base 30 grading system (basically the 30% of the following subjects all had a high grading system wherein if you have a 10 item quiz, 7 would be the passing score and anything lower than that would be considered as a fail). I felt like a first year student again, struggling, complaining of everything on how I performed toward my academics these days. But now, I wouldn't let myself be affected of my grades. I know that I can do this. All I had to do is to just ACCEPT. Yes, acceptance. Acceptance could be really hard to accept but it's okay because you could still do better. You just need to do better.

This too shall pass.

[thoughts-of-therese]

Blackwell Academy Student Files

[thoughts-of-therese]

life is strange is one of the prettiest games ever

[thoughts-of-therese]

Medical Intern: Actually Medical Technology was my first choice when I graduated high school.

MT: Why? Did you think your grades were too low for medical school?

Intern: No, I was just scared of people.

what is a medical technologist?

[thoughts-of-therese]

It's funny how people criticize you of something they also do.

[thoughts-of-therese]

How I deal with Burnout

Burnout is one of the horrendous monsters that I personally deal with when studying numerous topics. It comes along with frustrations, anxiety, and stress.

But this shouldn't defeat me at all especially when I have six subjects on the line. I should do some things that would motivate me.

Here are things that I do when I deal with burnout:

Rest. Yes, resting is one thing that I do when I deal with burnout. You shouldn't deprive yourself just because you are physically and emotionally tired.

Drink your water. Drinking water and keeping yourself hydrated is your fuel in order to continue your engine running. Aside from coffee, water is healthier than coffee especially when it's cold.

Take a cold bath. Wake your insides and guts up and get yourself together that your examinations are coming up! With this small gesture, you'll no longer feel stressed out.

Change your study locale. As someone who studies most of the time in a dorm room, I only have limited space to study especially that my bed is near me. But I sometimes go out and study out in cafés or libraries. But when I have no choice, discipline is my only friend.

Write your blog. Yes, blog writing is one of my short escapes in the reality world. In here, I am a writer, but on the outside, I am a student studying every single day.

Pray. When all else fails, prayers don't.

Keep your head up and tell yourself that once this finishes, you'll know that everything will be worth it. All of the late night study sessions, all-nighters, intense memorizations, headaches, katinko sniffs, and haplas moments would be all paid off.

We are still this close to success and for I know, our future self would thank you.

Trust the process.

[thoughts-of-therese]

never thought that our last meeting was actually the last