tortured-poet - Tumblr blog

[tortured-poet]

Relapse day 4

I’ve done okay today. OMAD but had some snacks through as i started to get dizzy and needed to drive over an hour home and the only thing sugary I had on me was a chocolate biscuit.

I’ve ate less than I have been today but more than I’d have liked to.

I’m getting my hair done tomorrow so that will kill a good few hours where I can’t eat at least.

[tortured-poet]

a b1nge day of 1200 c4lories is better than a b1nge day of 3000 c4lories.

if you need to eat a few extra rice cakes or yogurt cups to get through your day, it's okay. better to do that than snap later on and eat a ton of junk that will make you feel fat, bloated, and miserable.

[tortured-poet]

[tortured-poet]

What do y’all do when you start to feel lightheaded / dizzy?

Ik it’s a sign of progress but I drive like an hour to work and can’t flake out while driving so I need tips on how to get back to normal without sabotaging

[tortured-poet]

The way her body is literally my th1nspo 😭

guys do i look like i have @na? like at least a little bit? be honest plz 🙏

[tortured-poet]

Give me your best safe meals / low cal foods and I’ll try them ❤️

[tortured-poet]

Hiii

TW: disordered eating / relapse

I’ve been on this side of tumblr since roughly 2015. I went into recovery about 3 years ago but I’ve hated my body every second of it so I’m back 🫠

If you don’t like what you see just unfollow / block - don’t report

Stats:

Height: 5’3/4 (idk exactly)

New SW: 60kg

GW1: 55kg

GW2: 50kg

UGW: not sure yet - probs in the 40s somewhere

[tortured-poet]

Relapse day 3

Trying not to beat myself up today.

Fasted for about 18 hours and then had to eat with my partner. I was aiming to have one meal today but I also gave in to snacking and ate a second time after an event we went to 😭😭

Getting my body used to fasting again after 3 years is going to be an up and down ride. I think it was when I broke my fast and I was still hungry after that caved me.

Tomorrow should be easier though as I’m at work so I can skip lunch and just tell people I’ve ate as I usually spend my lunch break alone anyway. The struggle will be snacking through the day as it’s a burning desk job.

Any tips to avoid snacking through the day?

[tortured-poet]

Just @na things

Creating a second tumblr account so that if loved ones see / open the app on your phone it opens to your non @na account…

[tortured-poet]

Using pics of your old self for your th1nsp0 really makes looking in the mirror or at the scales hit so different

[tortured-poet]

If you saw me at my HW, no you didn't.

[tortured-poet]

Relapse day 2

Well, today was sort of okay sort of shit. I had two meals today - more on the side of one and a half with how much I left though.

On the first meal I had a smaller portion so that when I was done I was just as “hungry” as before I ate so I was still having the stomach grumbles of “hunger” all day.

I think my boyfriend is suspicious of it though as he showed me a girl on tiktok asking if I found her attractive and when I said no he said “bc she’s anorexic - is that what you want? No? stay as you are” and he also made me eat a second time but I snook half of it to our dogs so that I didn’t have to eat it.

Hoping for a better day tomorrow but at least when I’m at work I can get around skipping meals during the day easier.

[tortured-poet]

Eating but a portion small enough that you’re just as “hungry” as when you started so others think you’re not in relapse 🫠

[tortured-poet]

Relapse Day 1

Hey yall 👋 relapsing after like 3 years of recovery 🫠

I stepped on a scale today, something I actively tried not to do in recovery and hated the number I saw. I’ve also hated how my stomach looked for a while now.

My brother even mentioned that I gained weight, albeit he was proud of me because he knew what I was before… which makes the disappointment in myself being in this situation only harder. What makes it the most difficult though is that I have such a loving boyfriend who has helped me so much in my recovery and I don’t want to disappoint him but I’ve had enough of how I look.

This will be hard as I live with my boyfriend and I know he will try his best to not let me relapse but my mind is already there…

CW: 60kg

GW1: 55kg

Any tips on how to do lose the weight secretly would be great. I already only really eat one meal a day and we are starting to cycle fairly regularly now so that will help ig.