truetothoughts

[truetothoughts]

When my mind and my heart feel too compressed, my eyes start watering.

~truetothoughts

[truetothoughts]

I wish things were just easy.....

because my mind itself is too heavy.

~truetothoughts

[truetothoughts]

Recently, I went for an interview and I failed. I felt upset and broken. That is when I realised, I was upset not because I failed to get selected but because of the fact that I could not stand up to my potential.

[truetothoughts]

I am an OVERTHINKER. I went to a therapist to talk about stuff and now I am thinking whether my therapist will use my traumas as an example or what if she turns out to be someone known to my family.

I am cooked fr😭

[truetothoughts]

My mind is turning into havoc. A havoc of unsaid or unfelt emotions, feelings, thoughts and so much more. The more I try to share, the more it surrounds me.

~truetothoughts

[truetothoughts]

DESPERATE

I am desperate

Desperate for my father's love

Desperate for my best friend's attention

Desperate to be good

Desperate to fit

To fit in with society

To fit in the social circle

Now, I am so tired

Tired of proving myself

Tired of not receiving attention

Tired of finding love in an isolated land

Tired of the hopes and expectations 

Tired of all the useless talks

Tired of myself

~truetothoughts

[truetothoughts]

CHILDHOOD

"I run towards the sofa,

To hide behind it.

And escape the horrific reality-

My father with the belt, and my mother on her knees

It's a daily scene now.

The tears that were fresh back then are dried now.

I wish I could escape it

I wish I could help her

But I was a child then and I'm still a child now."

~truetothoughts

[truetothoughts]

To my Bestfriend,

You and I are miles apart and I miss you so much. I am awake till 2 am to talk to you after you hang up the call saying you'll call in a few minutes. I am adjusting my college schedule just to meet you when you come back to our country. I am suffering all alone and wish you could pick up my calls after 15 missed calls. I understand your life is tough and that you can't be there for me every time. But at least be there some time. I need you . I wish you could put at least 5% of I out in this friendship. It's been a year and every time I read your replies to why you couldn't pick my call it felt like an excuse to get away from me, from this friendship. If this friendship bothers you so much please tell me once and clearly. So, I don't break my heart overthinking about us. It hurts to see us standing at this point. It hurts to hear that you want to tell me about something just because you have told about it to another friend of yours. It's okay if you don't want to tell me things at least don't make me feel like a necessity.

[truetothoughts]

Life lately is so depressing. I went to my sister's room to spend some quality time with them but she asked me to move out. Everyone that I care about are going away and I am left alone crying under the blanket.

[truetothoughts]

I have created so many personalities to adjust according to people's needs that now I find it difficult to find my true self.

[truetothoughts]

Sometimes I am not even true to my journal.

[truetothoughts]

Sometimes, when I lay in the dark, listening to my fastening heartbeat, all I can think about is the choices I have made in my life and the uncertain future.