umbraghoul

[umbraghoul]

why the fuck is Jervis always shown as like a pervert or pedo or rapist or just some sort of creep. there are so many more ways to make a scary villain and a scary hatter specifically, for example I made him a manipulative bastard (thx midsommar) but there are so many other ways than just flattening the character to being absolute dogshit. he's popular for a reason and it's not cause of him being a pedophile. you can do so much with his themes of escapism and delusion rather than SA the villain. we already got Slade for that or some shit.

sorry about the rant but here's some more stuff. hatter could be genuinely scary from his mind control angle, you could play around with the sudden lost of autonomy, free will, and identity, the idea that someone could just suddenly reduce your identity your very sense of self to just a role he randomly picks out for you uncaring of the consequences you'll experience. that would be terrifying to explore in a proper portrayal, a hatter who's scary because of his gimmick not in spite of it

[umbraghoul]

Why does Student Finance England hate me so?

Why, for the second year in a row, do I now have to get in contact with them because they fucked it up???

My sister had her amount come through for what she's getting next year, which is close to the max.

And now I've had mine come though, at 2.40 am might I add, saying I'm getting the bare minimum.

We did our application at the same time, filled it out together and put ALL of the same details down, but I've had to wait two extra weeks to hear they've fucked it up again.

[umbraghoul]

Alice: Wow, my employer is so nice, he's taking me out to feel better after me and my Boyfriend had a row.

Jervis: I want you

Alice: what?

Jervis: what?

[umbraghoul]

This looks even better than it does on your TikTok.

(We've only somewhat directly interacted on here, despite being moots on there. I'm too nervous to even attempt any form of direct contact over there lol)

I also love the matching bird skulls, and I just love your design of scarecrow as a whole, and the colours you use for him!

Plague doctor scarecrow! This was a request by my lovely moot from over on TikTok and i actually like it (yet again trying to figure this digital art thing out)

[umbraghoul]

Lofi beats to make up riddles to

[umbraghoul]

IM GONNA KILL MYSELF

[umbraghoul]

Does anyone else have a bad feeling about Nora Fries?

Something about her and how she acted after coming out of the deepfreeze just doesn't sit right with me.

[umbraghoul]

i know you've got people to turn to 🌈✨ (clairo, slow dance) happy 6 years of basically i'm gay 💌

[umbraghoul]

When the creator of your favorite peice of media doesn't want to continue his project because people are harassing him for not making their ship cannon, you know things are going to hell. He does this in his spare time people! Let the man write the story he wants to write!

I didn't think I need to specify which fandom this is.

[umbraghoul]

"You listened to Spotify for 35,600 minutes last month. Good for you."

Maybe I'm the problem

'Cause DAMN

That's the equivalent to almost 25 DAYS

25 FUCKING DAYS OF NON-STOP LISTENING TO SPOTIFY.

[umbraghoul]

finally, someone whos also into pyg!!!

how about a nsfw alphabet with a pyg of your choice? or really anything you wanna write about him, im so starved for this man-

Arkham Pyg NSFW Alphabet

TW: NSFW, kinda disgusting (it's Pyg, what did you expect?), in depth discussion of pregnancy

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

Given that Lazlo cares a great deal about you, he'll be quite affectionate with you after sex. He'll cuddle you close, practically smothering you, peppering you with kisses and telling you what a "good little pig" you've been.

I don't think he'd help you clean up at all. In fact, he may get offended if you try to yourself. He wants his juices to stay in/on you for a while longer.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

Lazlo loves every part of himself. After all, Pyg is like clay, Pyg is like God.

As for you? He loves your skin; soft and smooth, so delicate and pretty. If you have any chub to you, he'd love your stomach, often rubbing or patting you there when he's in a good mood. He'd also love your breasts because they remind him of your potential for maternity, frequently groping you.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

Lazlo will gladly cum all over you; in your mouth, on your ass, everywhere.

His cum is thick and bitter. He'll often encourage you to swallow it or lick your own cum off his fingers, saying something like:

"Mmmm... Good, feeding like a good little sow..."

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

If you were ever to top him, he'd cry real tears and shout for his mommy. He might end up calling you "mommy" in the process.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

Lazlo has had experiences here and there, both when he was sane and as Pyg. I mean, Janosz has to come from somewhere, no?

I'd say you're in good hands because he's clearly highly acquainted with human anatomy, but this is Pyg we're talking about so...

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

Oh, boy. Here we go.

Legs up missionary, doggy style, tabletop, spooning, prone bone, butterfly... The list goes on. Really, he just likes to be on top of you.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

Any goofiness Lazlo may exude during sex is purely accidental. He is dead serious when he refers to you as his "little pig", make no mistake there.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

The carpet matches the drapes; black and semi-well kept.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

Lazlo can be quite romantic, or at least he thinks he can when he's in his gentler moods. He'll praise you, stretch you out slowly as he gradually deepens this thrusts, caress every inch of your body...

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

Lazlo masturbated frequently before he had you. He builds up a lot of sexual tension during the day. However, this stops once he has you around.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Where do I start?

Lactation and pregnancy, because he enjoys the idea of laying an animalisic claim over you. Also, he likes the idea of giving Janosz a half-sibling and his mother a new grandchild.

He may enjoy the idea of spanking you a little. Not too harshly, but "a naughty sow must be punished", in his mind.

He'd also kinda be into food play. Watching you eat arouses him. Just look at you, sweet little pig nourishing yourself, the body that he indulges himself in so tirelessly. Let him nourish you.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

Obviously, there's the bedroom. But, he frequently takes you on his surgical table, too. I hope you don't mind his dollotrons watching.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

You acting out (that meaning when you disagree with him about the slightest thing), seeing your breasts or tummy, seeing you eat.

He's also aroused when you're very kind to him. What doesn't turn him on, really?

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

He wouldn't hit you excessively, though he can be rather rough sometimes. He doesn't like it when you make a mess, either.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

Lazlo is quite good at giving, and he happily does so. He likes to kiss the lips of your vagina, drinking in your juices with the thirst of a man about to die of dehydration.

He enjoys receiving almost as much. His favourite part is when you swallow all his cum like a "hungry little sow" and tell him how much you enjoy the taste.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

It all depends on Lazlo's mood. Usually, he's on the slower side. However, if he's feeling frustrated for whatever reason, prepare to be pounded into like he's an animal in heat.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

Lazlo is down for quickies, though nothing beats proper sex. One of the bonuses of them, in his opinion, is watching you limp off afterwards, dripping with his seamen and haphazardly trying to put your clothes back on. It's very cute.

Though, part of him thinks you should rest after sex.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

Lazlo is glad to experiment with you and take risks, though he does (surprisingly) have his limits. It'd take a lot of convincing to get him to bottom amongst other things, is what I mean.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

For an out of shape, older man, Lazlo has quite a bit of stamina, though he tends to burn out fast if he's rough with you. He can do maybe two rounds on average, one if he's the latter.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

Not "toys" per say, but Lazlo has stuck his dick in several non-living things before (that sounds like I'm implying something, which I'm not). Lazlo is the kind of horny weirdo who'd cut a hole in an orange and fuck it, is what I mean.

The same applies for you. I wouldn't be surprised if he tried to stick a (not sharp) surgical instrument up you between rounds.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Lazlo's style of teasing mainly involves calling you stupid pet names and excessively groping you. That said, he does this a lot to let you know he's in the mood.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

LOUD. He grunts, he whines, he snorts. It's a little disgusting sometimes.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

Kinda likes it when you call him "daddy". More so if you've had a child together, to which he'll reciprocate and call you "sweet little mother" or something alike.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

Chunky all over and very hairy, the same colour as the hair on his head. Lazlo is packing with a very thick, 6 inch grower.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

Quite high. Usually, he'll have you almost every night. But if he's been away for a while at Arkham or you're pregnant, expect it twice a day.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Lazlo falls asleep very quickly. He also snores really loud.

As said before, will not help you clean up. He'll put his huge arms around you, caging you next to him in bed regardless of if you want to or not.

[umbraghoul]

the problem with water is like. it's the cleaning fluid right. that's the obvious part. you stop drinking and you stop peeing and your kidneys are like ough. ough. ough. ough. but you don't die. unless you're not drinking anything At All and not eating watery food either. so all it is is you pee less but you're okay. kind of.

BUT THEN when it gets too hot it starts being the coolant! and suddenly there are so many ways it can get out! you have so many sweat glands and so much skin and they all need to be cooled down before you DIE.

but then. you realize the least obvious one. it's the transmission fluid. it's the fucking transmission fluid. you can't transmit SHIT without your fliud. which is still fucking water somehow.

so now you're LEAKING your transmission fluid out of every goddamn pore and your kidneys are like hey. gimme that cleaning fluid cmon dude. while your pores are like ITS COOLANT. NEED COOLANT. FOR THE FIRE. NEED MORE COOLANT. SO MUCH FIRE. KILL IT. KILL IT MORE. MORE COOLANT. and then. the rest of you. that uses all that fluid to transmit things. it's like hey. hey. hey what the fuck.. i need that. hello? can anyone hear me? hello? it's so dark in here..

and then you drink more water or you die.

[umbraghoul]

It’s been years and I still think about Professor Pyg singing Cell Block Tango

[umbraghoul]

I realize I never posted my entry for the Rogues! Fanzine, so here it is hella late lol. Now that I'm looking at it again I kind of hate it, but it is what it is.

[umbraghoul]

You know what villain I’d like to see in The Batman Trilogy ? PROFESSOR PYG. This man would fit so well in Reeves Universe. Lazlo Valentin, the pig-mask wearing, opera-singing lunatic surgeon, is the serial killer behind The Perfect Crime sidequest in the Arkham games.

This man makes Joker look sane himself.

Hell even an hallucination of the Joker considered Pyg to be too insane, you've got to be a special kind of nuts to even make someone like the Joker of all people think that. Joker will normally make a comment about the villains Batman puts away in the GCPD, the comments he makes for Pyg pretty much show that, if Joker were alive, even he would be put off by how deranged Pyg is, and this is coming from the hallucination of someone considered absolutely insane by most of Gotham City.

He honestly terrifies me. One of those Batman villains I could see some version of actually existing and its just intensely scary to me. Also the way he talks in Arkham is downright disturbing.

Professor Pyg in concept is an intriguing foil to Batman, the problem is the comics treat the character with bare minimum characterisation. Even, Hush by comparison feels nuanced and layered.

Personally prefer Gotham’s portrayal of the character. That version creeped me out, rather than the hyperbolic or shock horror version in the comics.

In conclusion, I like him a lot. I think a lot of people write him off as being a generic psycho killer or “creepy for the sake of being creepy” but I think he’s more interesting than that. It makes me wonder if those people actually even know anything about him. He does need some more fleshing out though which will hopefully come with time as he’s a relatively new addition to the rogues gallery.

[umbraghoul]

Pyg serving so much cunt for free??