v01d-ch1ld - Tumblr blog

[v01d-ch1ld]

So AO3 might be down......

[v01d-ch1ld]

What am I supposed to say?

I hate this. I am so tired. I am so weak. I have been fighting for so long but I am starting to break down again. I don't want to be alive. I never did. I don't want to die either. I can't win. I need a break. Just one span of time where nothing horribly wrong happens to me. When I can stop failing and succeed for once.

Feel loved just once.

Feel happy just once.

All I've ever wanted was to feel happy just once.

I want someone to hold me willingly, tell me that they are proud of me, and mean it.

I want someone to look at me and actually know who I am.

I am starving. For love, for touch, for sympathy. No one likes it when you beg for those things, but no one is giving them to me anyway. So I go without.

I want to be understood and not undermined or dismissed.

I come from a family made of problems. My problems are just the ones that don't matter.

This wasn't supposed to sound like a note, but I am dying on the inside and no one seems to be listening to me. No one seems to care.

"get over it." "live your life" "it was in the past"

I was a child. I was still developing. It will never just be the past to me. It is every person I meet from now on. I am damaged goods and there is no fixing the things inside me that are broken. I'd know I've tried and nothing ever works.

I really hope the meds make it better or this will be my note.

I am so tired.

[v01d-ch1ld]

Existential Crisis #4

You love your family, you do. You don't.

Spending time with them is awful.

Spending time with them is great!

You really miss them.

You really miss your privacy.

You love them, you really do.

You feel so loved and warm and safe.

You're so cold and alone.

[v01d-ch1ld]

Existential Crisis #3

Emotions? You don't know her.

Well, actually you do.

You have an abusive relationship, they flip flop and change and take your energy and it takes *weeks* to get it all back.

They ruin your relationships and make you cry, laugh, and rage at the wrong times.

They make you unable to focus on anything.

They lie to you about how you actually feel.

So you tell them to "shut up!" and try to will them away.

They don't go away and you're stuck like this forever.

[v01d-ch1ld]

Existential Crisis #2

You're sad.

You don't know why (or you do but it happened so long ago no one knows why it still hurts), but it's always there.

Everyone tells you to fix it because it sucks for them.

Don't they know that if you could, it would be fixed?

Why would they care?

They don't help you fix it.

[v01d-ch1ld]

Existential Crisis #1

You don't know who you are.

You can't ask anyone else because they don't know either.

[v01d-ch1ld]

It could be the gifted kid burn out or the fact that i am currectly taking an accounting class but yeah, i agree.

no more homework. abolish it

[v01d-ch1ld]

This charity is a fraud and deserves to be exposed. Three women in my family have died from this.

So proud of my mother for doing her own research after I sent her that meme. A sign she hung in her car window.

[v01d-ch1ld]

The way all of my kins are on this list....

if you stan

bakugou

shigaraki

dabi

shinso

aizawa

you either have daddy issues or low self-esteem

[v01d-ch1ld]

Where are the x readers where the reader has an attitude? The ones where y/n is a rebel? Where y/n struggles with eating three meals a day or drinking water and sleeping? Where are the ones who don't accept toxic energy and cries but returns that shit to sender and watches them burn? Where are the reader fics where the reader isn't accepting any shit and actually will chew the love interest out?

[v01d-ch1ld]

To the person currently staring into the same void as me,

How are you? You haven't been sleeping so it can't be great. You're currently trying to resist the urge to jump into the immaterial and stray away from the living world into the darker. Don't. I've visited and there's nothing there. Simply wade through those insinuations of worthlessness to your destination of conquest.

[v01d-ch1ld]

Everytime I leave my mom's house my mantra becomes "no combination of coffee and weed is ever gonna fix this but I'mma keep trying"

[v01d-ch1ld]

I got exactly who i thought I would get. I kin this man so hard

i made a quiz. which batkid are you and what should you talk to your therapist about like asap

[v01d-ch1ld]

I really hate the days that I can't feel anything. Like sometimes it's a relief but when nothing has directly caused my numbness, apathy is a hinderance to human interaction and it's painful.

So I ask, why am I like this.

The answer: I don't know.

[v01d-ch1ld]

I just need some fics for BNHA and other fandoms that include the very irl problem of "reader doesn't drink water or eat food in normal amounts/at normal times" because I simply forget to do it and its nice to be fussed over

[v01d-ch1ld]

All the introverts are screaming

Thanks snapchat

[v01d-ch1ld]

this blog says fuck the police and most definitely commit homicide in defense of all the above groups but especially the children.