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[veryorignalthoughts]

Better Call Saul Characters as: Tourted Poets Department Songs

Saul — I Can Do It With a Broken heart 💔

Kim — The Tortured Poets Department 📇

Mike — Florida!!! 🏖️🏝️

Gus — Who’s Afraid of Little Old Me? 😈

Nacho — I Hate It Here 😞😔

Lalo — The Alchemy 🧪⚗️

[veryorignalthoughts]

Too bad the new atla wasn’t a jukebox musical. I’d pay good money to see Zuko singing “I’m still here” wistfully on his ship.

Or Mr. Brightside. Whatever fits best. 🙃

[veryorignalthoughts]

People are complaining and disliking the new series, but I think yall have forgotten about the monstrosity that was the movie. I was crushed when I saw that. I think it’s decent and the changes are just fine. Nothing will compare to the original source.

[veryorignalthoughts]

AU where Gus is secretly a Megan Thee Stallion Stan;

*In the back room sweeping up*

Gus: YALL GOOFY-ASS HOES LOOK SO DUMB EVERY TIME YALL CELEBRATE FAKE NEWWWWWS

[veryorignalthoughts]

[veryorignalthoughts]

Princess

“Dad really does need to stop calling me for this stuff” Beatrice grabbed her sister’s arm and placed it over hers.

“I mean I get why you’re here. You’re freaking husband is the host.” She continued on.

“Yes, and you’re still la princesa. Which is why you must be here. Everyone wants you here. To be graced with your presence and poise.” Anna, her older sister, chuckled.

“Oh hush” Beatrice ruffled her gown a bit more. “You’ll be fine. I know you don’t like these things, but it’ll go by fast I promise.” Anna added.

“Anna, te necesito aqui” her husband called out to her. She nodded and gave her sister a thumbs-up. “Smile.” She pointed to her mouth. Beatrice gave a snarl.

          “Like you mean it” Anna blew her a kiss and turned away.

Beatrice didn’t get why she was still seen as the little princess of the drug world. She was 21year old woman. Not the smily shiny little girl she once was.

And yet she was still the holder of the title.

Every cartel had one. One daughter of a founding member of the little gang seemed to become some sort of twisted Disney Princess.

And in her world she was chosen. Was chosen and raised accordingly. She always thought her bright red hair had marked her. While everyone else in her family sported a sheer black look.

Her father, Rodger Millow, was the biggest partner north of the border. They resided in New York a few miles from the big city. She was still called to accompany him to these cartel parties and events. Like it was a country club or something.

The only saving grace to Beatrice was her sister, whose husband worked in the business.

Now faced with being partially alone she turned to meander with the little people of the group. Mid tier people trying to make it in the bigger fish’s pond.

Catching a glimpse of herself in the mirror, she paused. Beatrice had specifically chosen a more adult look. This was to be the last time she played Princess.

Her hair framed her face with loose curls at the end.

She picked out her long shimmering gold Valentino cocktail dress that had a slit in the side that went straight up to her hip, save for an inch you could have seen something you shouldn’t.

She looked up and suddenly realized that guests were pouring in. That was her cue to whisk them away.

Practically leaping into the arms of Don Eladio she twirled them around into a hug. She could tell they all got the message. She was a grown woman who can now take your breath away.

“I’m so glad to see you” she smiled. “It’s been too long” he kissed her cheek and went on to start the party. He was good at that. The Salamanca’s stood close behind him. She warmly greeted Hector and simply said hello to the others.

But Lalo, didn’t simply take the simple gesture.

“You look breathtaking, my dear” he cupped both her hands and kissed them.

“You’re still a scoundrel I see” she giggled nervously. He was much much older than her. He could have been her dad at his age. But she still ate it up.

“Thank you, though. It’s nice of you to say” Beatrice stumbled out. “Why don’t we have a drink, eh? You look nervous” his smile could just melt her. She only nodded in response and let him take her away.

The night went on and for the bulk of it Beatrice had been talking to Eduardo. No matter how many times she tried to leave he’d guide her back to him. He asked her to dance and she very willingly agreed.

Lalo knew exactly what he was doing to her. He wondered how he hadn’t done this sooner. Daddy’s girls always fell for him. He loved it.

He pulled her closer and danced just about chest to chest. “Mr. Salamanca, if I didn’t know any better, I’d say you were flirting with me. Lalo leaned in to make his official move.

“Quiero hacer algo más que coquetear” he deepened his voice and whispered to her. Her face turned purple she blushed so hard. Beatrice felt lightheaded from his attentions. “I-I um. I don’t know what to say to that” she stumbled.

“You don’t have to say anything” he grabbed her hand and dragged her along behind him. Finding an empty room far away from the party, he whipped her around and kissed her.

She slunk back becoming intimidated by him and his stature. Beatrice knew that this was a line she probably shouldn’t cross. That Eduardo Salamanca was known for doing this.

But God, his cologne, his touch, his voice all of it was so intense and inviting. She could feel him smoothing her over. And she liked it.

“You want this don’t you” he half asked. It was really more of a statement, but she had whimpered a yes as she deepened the kiss. He had her against the wall. “I’m not very…” she looked around.

“Experienced? I know. That’s why you need me. I’ll show you how it’s supposed to go. Make you feel things that boys can’t do.” He brushed her hair out of the way. Tugging so she had to look him dead in the eyes.

“You think you’re that good” she breathily laughed.

“I know I am” he turned her around to face the mirror that made up one wall of the room. “Your brother-in-law an exhibitionist?” He smiled biting her neck leaving little marks as he went. “Wouldn’t know” Beatrice breathed.

“We should stop” she couldn’t look away from the mirror. Neither of them moved to do anything of the sort. “I don’t think you want to do that” he chuckled at how much he was effecting her.

He moved to undo her dress, it dropped with a thud on the floor. Her chest and bare body now exposed. Lalo tossed her on the bed like nothing. He scraped her underwear off with ease.

Before she knew it, he was on her. Rolled up his sleeves and dove in. Her hips bucked on their own as she twitched at the feeling. “Ahh!” she bit back what she wanted to say.

He looked up from the mess he was making. “Don’t you dare hold back” he said with a dark glint in his eyes. She was inclined to obey.

“Fuck” she squealed. “It’s too much! It’s too much” she writhed on the bed trying to move away from the source of overwhelming sensations. He gripped her thighs hard enough to leave marks.

She felt something she had only felt with herself. “Oh fuck, Daddy” she cried out as one of the strongest orgasms in her life shocked and pulsed through her.

He looked up grinning, “Daddy huh?”

“I’m sorry it just came out. I” he cut her off.

“Did I say I didn’t like it?” He questioned. Quick to undress himself, he motioned for her to get closer. “Show Daddy what skills you have” he guided her head down.

Beatrice smiled and began greedily sucking him down. Easily taking all of him. “Ohhh fuck” he laughed and threw back his head. “You do this too easy, little girl” he breathed.

She looked up stopping for a moment, “I’m a singer, I know my throat very well.” She went back to making him groan and grind against her mouth and tongue. He felt a bit too close, and had no intention on stopping. He pulled her away and looked down at her. “Up” he simply commanded.

Bouncing up and wiping her mouth off she did as she was told. She had a hungry look to her. To Lalo she was perfect with her hair all messed up and lips so pink; just waiting to be told what to do next.

Wordlessly he topped her and without hesitation slid into her. She whimpered at the fullness she felt. He began bucking and leaning over her.

“Yes” she whined, “You are great! Holy fuck!”

Eduardo laughed effortlessly and decided to make her go crazy. Knowing exactly how girls like her wanted it.

He situated them into doggy facing the mirror.

He felt her pulse around him. “Oh, you’re the exhibitionist” he pulled back her hair and used it as a handle. “ You like seeing what dirty things Daddy is doing to his little girl.” He grabbed at her picking up the pace as he did.

Beatrice moaned and shook her head fervently. “Use your words baby girl” he smiled.

“Yes” she said between poundings. “Yes what?” He smirked as he moved his hand down to her clit and began to pull at her seams.

“FUCK! I fucking LOVE what Daddy does to his little girl” she closed her eyes and practically screamed. “I know you do” he growled.

Lalo dug deep and went even harder. “Dah-daddy I’m going to” she squealed. “Cum for me Beatrice” he gritted through his teeth. She came so hard she felt it running down her legs. He felt it too and was head over heels for her. She was just so eager to please and easy to play with.

 As much as he wanted to stay like this, having her call out his name and anything else she might think of.

“Where do they usually” he grunted. “Out, but I’m on”Beatrice belted out as he hit her especially hard. “Good girl” he said.

Grabbing her hips, he locked eyes with her in the mirror. Looking at how beautifully undone the young woman beneath him. Finally he found his release with a smile and a groan.

Lalo and Beatrice fell together in a mess of sheets.

“We should get back” he threw his arm around her.

“I’d rather stay here with you” She looked up at him. “Don’t worry this isn’t over, Princess” he winked.

[veryorignalthoughts]

WATCHING

I know I shouldn’t be watching. Watching her through her day, through her life, through the tiny hole I craved out with a knife.

I shouldn’t but I am. I watch her watching her favorite TV shows, crying at her favorite movies. I watch her hands slide down her tiered body at the end of the night. I watch as she pulls pleasure out of every part of her being.

I shouldn’t take as much joy as I do in simply watching.

But I do.

I’m always watching.

[veryorignalthoughts]

Does it matter?

Does it matter that I say I’ve tried?

Does it matter that I say I’ve cried till my tear ducts ran dry?

Does it matter that I’ve always felt like this?

Does it matter that I feel it will never get better than this?

Does it matter that I feel so lost?

Does it matter that I feel as though I’ve been tossed?

Does any of it matter when I say I feel bad?

Will it ever matter? Or is this how it is to be?

Is this what all I’m meant to be?

[veryorignalthoughts]

I started off my day by having to take a bc powder. Because I’m holding onto my last ubrelvy till it goes through all that approval crap and I can get more.

I’ve prayed and prayed and prayed. But all I seem to be doing is a back slide. Grasping at the grass around me to try and pull back up but it just makes me fall flat

My stomach hurts and keeps waking me up hurting. My head is at like a 5-6 and I’m just wanting to give up even though that’s not an option. But God I wish it was.

[veryorignalthoughts]

Can’t stop crying

Can’t stop thinking

Can’t stop crying and repeating

Can’t stop thinking about what’s ahead

Who could commit to this?

How do you live like this?

How do I suck it up?

How do I toughen up?

No one seems to know.

[veryorignalthoughts]

It’s been 5 years since we graduated and I’m so depressed I feel like singing “I dreamed a dream”

[veryorignalthoughts]

Seeing one of the girls I went to school with on Facebook.

She works for a nonprofit organization.

She’s gorgeous.

Just perfect. Always has been.

I know she has her own struggles. Insecurities.

But it just feels like a punch in the gut.

Like I’m happy that she’s so successful

She’s a really nice person

And works hard

But I just can’t help thinking.

Why can’t I have that?

[veryorignalthoughts]

I love traveling I get to be in new places. Not thinking about my troubles within my own bubble.

If i could right now I'd pack a bag and head towards Maine to hind in the woods and water.

Or in a Holler of Kentucky

Maybe Wyoming? Or sit on a Plato and just feel the peace and the wind.

Reading a book in hammock on a windy day.

Sitting on a porch in the pouring rain.

I’d love to travel far away from here.

[veryorignalthoughts]

I’m to be content. But how do I do that when I hate or degrade every aspect about me.

[veryorignalthoughts]

I wish I could write stuff. I have so many ideas but none that I feel can be put on to paper that are good enough.

[veryorignalthoughts]

Why aren’t I the one getting married. Why aren’t I the one teaching. Why aren’t I the one to have my own place.

It doesn’t seem fair.

Why was I the one born with severe depression since birth. Why was I the one always sick and hurting. The shy one. The weak one.

I would kill to be a teacher. To be getting married and starting a life. I just don’t understand. And I’m just stuck watching as everyone marches on and I’m the one left. And it makes me mad. Mad at me. Mad at the people living their lives. Not perfect ones I know. But lives still.

And I’m stuck here in my head. Forever in my bed.