#heavy heart

[theworkshopmann]

Heavy Heart

Don't forget who's it all for

Type: Cosmetic/Misc

Class: Heavy

Paintable: Yes

Accepted in game: No

This cosmetic was made by Steam users Ducksink and Lo-fi Longcat. Posted on November 20th 2022, you can vote for this here!

[enii]

It's time to let all these feelings go💕

[free-my-mindd]

- Albert Camus

[kariiimm]

You took the best of my heart and left the rest in pieces

[dumblr]

[houseoftulips]

Unfortunate Benefits | T. Kuroo ~ when he realized way too late

➤ ft: ex boyfriend!kuroo testuro x f!reader

➤ content warning: angst, alcohol

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After six years of not seeing each other with no contact in any shape or form - you two are now standing in the same restaurant at a small reunion.

You’d been living in Singapore all this time after graduating college and leaving your old life behind. You were in Japan to visit your family but when your old high school friends find out that you were, they just had to invite you.

Bokuto was especially insistent on you meeting up with them for dinner but his same emo mode appeared through the facetime call just like the old days. You were only there at the restaurant for him and Kenma but you knew that your 18 year old self was relieved to see Kuroo Tesuro again.

Your ex boyfriend/high school sweetheart was one of the reasons for you leaving the country after your rocky break up. Long story short, after all those years from high school towards the end of college was nothing but a lie and a joke to Kuroo.

From what you were told, Kuroo had asked you out during your first year of high school to get his elementary school crush to notice him. When he realized that he was never gonna get that attention he was just contempt on getting it from you. Not in the lovey-dovey way though. More like the I’m settling here because there’s no where else to go. Then he finally got that attention again after reuniting with his crush at one of MSBY’s volleyball game and left you soon after the encounter.

He spilled all his dirty secrets in you and practically admitted that he was cheating on you emotionally and using you as a comfort rag rather than his girlfriend. So you left while he was at his internship job during the day. Everything that was yours was erased from your shared apartment. He didn’t even try to contact you either so you knew that he never loved you over the course of your years together.

Bokuto and everyone else begged you to remain in Japan when you told them that you were leaving a few weeks after the breakup. But they knew that the once in a lifetime experience was offered to you for your career, there was no reason for you to remain in the same place.

But right now, that bed-head looking asshole was looking at you like you meant everything to him. His piercing gold eyes were dancing all over your features that he once cherished during your time together.

“Y/n,” his voice faltered a bit as he shook his thoughts away, “H-hey… When did you get back?”

“I’m not back,” you said simply, “M’visiting family for a bit.”

“Oh,” he sheepishly said as he looked away from the awkwardness creeping in. “Well um, it’s good to see you,” he cleared his throat.

You shifted uncomfortably in your standing position as you remained silent. Your wounded and repaired heart is slowly tearing apart once again hearing his useless words. But your younger self is yelling at you to say something back but you still remained silent.

Kursk cleared his throat again to gain your attention back, “Would you like drink?”

Wanting to drink you sorrows away you said yes on the spot. You definitely scolded yourself for accepting a drink from him but he’s paying for it so you looked the other way. You ordered wine like always but more on the stronger side. One with a more bitter taste than the sweet one that you craved.

The both of you sat in silence for what felt like eternity but you kept taking your occasional sips and so was Kuroo till he opened his mouth. “How is Singapore?” he asked as he glanced at you.

You cleared your throat as you set your glass down, “Good. A little more on the humid side than it is here.”

Kuroo hummed in response and let you guys sit in silence once again. For about thirty minutes you guys had an on and off conversation. Letting you both drown in silence then suddenly talk about scattered things that’s happened to you two over the last few years. Then finally the bitter ice breaker came into tow.

“Me and Sachie broke up,” Kuroo said quietly but enough for you to hear.

You sighed out loud hearing her name again. You didn’t even dare say it in your head because you were still so jealous of her getting the real attention from Kuroo.

“So?” you questioned as you watched your old friends drunkenly laugh together.

“So,” he sighed, “I want to say that I’m sorry for leaving you like that when I should’ve done it a lot sooner.”

You laughed immediately. Not so much as a bitter one but more on the side where you thought it was genuinely funny of what he said. “You’re sorry that you used me to gain attention of another woman?” you rephrased.

“Y/n,” Kuroo said but you beat him from finishing.

“No, no,” you laughed letting the alcohol settle in a bit, “I’m right though. You dated me all those years - not only wasted my time but also yours. And then when you lost her for a bit you settled with me, right?”

Kuroo looked away in guilt because now being a full grown man he has regrets. And one of them is of him using you emotionally. Using your kindness, the tender kisses, the soft words of encouragement, and your love was what he regrets and has been regretting for years. You were in front of him this whole time but he turned a blind eye and chose someone who wasn’t looking his way much like what he did to you. It haunts him, honestly. Your tear stained face was what woke him up from the mask he was hiding his true intentions from behind.

He knew better than to reach you again but he thought he was going to be happier being with the woman he’s been chasing after for years. Lo-and-behold, she grew tired of him or in other words-grew tired of using him. They dated for a year but it was toxic. So much so that when he was finally rid of her, he didn’t cry. He had a breath of relief slip past his lips when she left with her bags.

“Y/n… I know I should’ve done better back then but I was blinded,” he sighed as he ran his fingers through his mess of black hair, “It was too late for me to reach you by the time I realized how much I missed you.”

“How much you missed me?” you repeated with a scoff, “You wanted the benefits from being with me, not the commitment. You were looking for that somewhere else all while I loved you.”

And there was another wake up call for Kuroo. He watched you slide out of your seat and leave the restaurant without giving him another chance. He respects you for that though because in the long run, he doesn’t deserve what you can give/offer him.

So he masks his sulks and aching heart because he knows he has no right to feel the heaviness in his chest. But it’s hard to ignore as more guilt washes through him like a tsunami.

He’s lost you for good.

~

~

~

[heartofmuse]

When the heart is heavy and tears are a waterfall, your mind goes wild as if to filll the void left by a heart that has shrunk and retreated into the dark spaces within you.

e.v.e.

[downfalldestiny]

I need a drink ☕ !.

[little-tiffany]

To anyone who is carrying a heavy heart in silence, it's gonna be okay someday.

[theintpgirl]

To everyone who's carrying a heavy heart in silence, it's going to be okay someday.

[stilled]

Sculpture - Hsieh Tong-Liang

[beforevenice]

I have need to busy my heart with quietude.

// Rupert Brooke, The busy heart

[kariiimm]

No one can hear the scream of your heart only your heart can.

[sayurireidotcom]

i wanna be loved so badly

it’s eating me alive

[dumblr]

Better days are coming. You won't always wake up in the morning with a heavy heart.

[acorrespondence]

❄️ if you’re still in the mood for the wip meme :)))

❄️Share a snippet from a WIP of your choosing.

Thank you so much for the ask; I’m always in the mood to share my writing, haha. It’s pretty rough and mostly just back-and-forth at the moment, but here’s a fun little bit from the upcoming chapter of heavy heart that doesn’t give too much away:

Boyd glares back. “How many times I got to tell you to answer your goddamn phone?”

“At least one more.”

Boyd rolls his eyes. “Well I do believe that’s self-evident.”

“How you even know about this, anyway? I thought we had it locked down pretty tight.”

“You know I listen to the police scanner.”

“You got to stop doin that. It’s, like, obsessive.”

“Well I can’t whistle more’n one note, so I gotta do somethin while I work. Though you callin me obsessive does bring to mind that old aphorism about pots and kettles.”

“I ain’t obsessive.”

“Ha. Don’t make me bring up your recent inquiries into the real estate sector.”

(Ask Game here)