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2023 - The bucket list is nearly empty kinda person

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2022 - Pivot

Child 44 - Tom Rob Smith

Starsight - Brandon Sanderson

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2021 - Inflection point

Macbeth - Shakespeare & Matt Wiegle

To sleep in a sea of stars - Christopher Paolini

Caste - Isabel Wilkerson

The evening and the morning - Ken Follett

Sapiens - Yuval Noah Harari

Homo Deus - Yuval Noah Harari

How not to be wrong - Jordan Ellenberg

Atomic habits - James Clear

Fall of Giants - Ken Follett

21 lessons for the 21st Century - Yuval Noah Harari

Romeo and Juliet - Shakespeare & Matt Wiegle

The cock is the culprit - Unni R

An Era of darkness - Shashi Tharoor

A tiger for Malgudi - RK Narayan

How to avoid a climate disaster - Bill Gates

The reluctant fundamentalist - Mohsin Hamid

Train to Pakistan - Khushwant Singh

The spy and the traitor - Ben McIntyre

Yuganta - Irawati Karve

Crime and punishment - Fyodor Dostoevsky

Meditations - Marcus Aurelius

Midnight's Children - Salman Rushdie

Born to Run - Christopher Mcdougall

Artemis - Andy Weir

Economics in one lesson - Henry Hazlitt

The name of the Wind - Patrick Rothfuss

Project Hail Mary - Andy Weir

Nudge - Thaler and Sunstein

The Wise Man’s Fear - Patrick Rothfuss

Annihilation of caste - BR Ambedkar

A feast of vultures - Josy Joseph

The case for climate capitalism - Tom Rand

In service of the republic - Vijay Kelkar & Ajay Shah

Silent sprint - Rachel Carson

Thinking fast and Slow - Daniel Kahneman

The notebook, The proof, The third lie - Agota Kristoff

Good economics for hard times - Abhijit Banerjee and Esther Duflo

Poonachi - Perumal Murugan

This changes everything - Naomi Klein

The five love languages - Gary Chapman

[viswas]

On nuclear energy

I believe that the hindrance to the environmental performance of the energy system is the misplaced incentives of people rather than the demerits of any particular fossil-fuel replacement technology. To solve our energy and environmental problems, we need a balanced approach that improves and adopts nuclear technology alongside other renewable sources. No single energy technology is easily going to meet our global energy needs in a reasonable time. Thus we must keep an open mind about fixing nuclear energy limitations and deploying it. Though nuclear energy has shown a negative learning curve, with the average cost increasing with increased installed capacity, this trend doesn't need to continue. Nuclear is a precarious technology that will inevitably take time to become robust and cost-effective as the technology improves to include variables not considered in the earlier generation nuclear reactor designs. This is particularly so when the public sector has most funded the development of large-capacity power plants. With the private sector stepping in to make smaller modular nuclear reactors, we can expect the efficiencies of the free market to bring down costs and project delays. It is unfair to compare nuclear technology's development time and cost to other renewable sources. This applies especially to solar, which piggybacks on the massive manufacturing capacity of the semiconductor industry on whose foundation solar modules are built. While we continue to push solar, we must strive to invest and support the development and adoption of nuclear technology. Given sufficient time and the involvement of the private sector, it should be feasible to bring the cost of nuclear to less than $4000/KW.

A reading of the Yucca mountain debacle suggests that the failure to arrive at a nuclear waste disposal strategy is a political issue. Fear of the Nevada state government about being a dumping ground for nuclear waste isn't a technical problem. Burying nuclear waste in deep shafts inside mountains seems like the most viable option. To alleviate a particular state from feeling like a nuclear waste victim, further research is required on additional sites that can handle the nuclear waste disposal requirements. Spreading the waste into diverse and deep geological locations will minimize the chance of harm and may be politically more palatable for the states involved. Additionally, governments must make an effort to educate the public about the misconceptions of nuclear technology and not let incorrect assumptions linger. Above and beyond these actions, the fact that spent nuclear fuels can be reprocessed, particularly in 4th generation designs, is cause for hope about mitigating the fears about nuclear waste. Even if the risk of nuclear is shown to be much more than other renewables like solar, it is still orders of magnitude less risky than fossil fuels from an environmental impact and human health perspective.

While we must support nuclear technology, I will concede that the optimism about the ability to build 115 nuclear power plants worldwide per year for the next 50 years to meet global energy needs for the century is as yet unfounded. This is particularly true if the plants in question are large gigawatt installations. It will be a while before nuclear technology cost is reduced and safety increased (to handle leakage, accidents, and terrorist threat considerations) to sufficiently win back public confidence to deploy this technology at scale. The risk of weaponizing and terrorist threats is real. The most viable path to mitigate these risks is to change fuel sources from more dangerous uranium to lesser ones like Thorium or nuclear fusion. Until such time, we must keep nuclear off the table except as research and proof of concept reactors, and we must support the deployment of other renewables. Roof-top solar and solar on infertile farming land and offshore wind are currently humanity's best bets for meeting human energy needs. This is particularly true for solar, which has seen a drop in cost much more than the most optimistic projections due to China's large-scale manufacturing.

In conclusion, we must continue to support research and proof-of-concept deployment of nuclear technology until its perils are sufficiently mitigated, the cost reduced, and the technology made more modular and distributable. One can dream of safe portable reactors that can power small communities decentralized from traditional energy power centers. Until this time, we must mass deploy other renewables like solar and wind.

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The chemicals of Silent Spring

Most of these being insecticides, herbicides, fungicides with carcinogenic properties and indiscriminate killers.

Malathion (Carbofos, Mercaptothion)

Parathion (Thiophose)

DDT

Dinitrophenol (DNP)

Pentacholrophenol (PCP, Chlorophen, Lauxtol)

Amitrol (aminotriazole, amitrole or amitrol.)

Aldrin (Octalene, HHDN)

Chlordane (Chlordan)

Endosulfan (Benzoepin, Endocel, Parrysulfan, Phaser, Thiodan, Thionex)

Heptachlor

Lindane (gammaxene, Gammallin)

Dieldrin (HEOD)

Methoxychlor (DMDT)

Benzene hexachloride (BHC, HCB, Perchlorobenzene)

Methylnaphthalene

Paradichlorobenzene (mothballs, paracide, para crystals, Paramoth, DCB)

Organophosphates and Organohalogens in general should be avoided.

Other chemicals to be mindful about:

17. Atrazine

18. Glyphosate (less harmful than Atrazine)

To Rachel Carson.

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Words

Ephemeral Effervescence Epiphany Symphony Euphoria Sapphire Efficacy Clandestine Chicanery Phantom Flamboyant Evanescent Sanguine Flummoxed

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2020 - Inspired

The 40 rules of love - Elif Shafak

Eileen - Ottessa Moshfegh

10 minutes and 43 seconds in this strange world - Elif Shafak

A suitable boy - Vikram Seth

Open - Andre Agassi

Cari Mora - Thomas Harris

Einstein, his life and universe - Walter Isaacson

Leonardo da Vinci - Walter Isaacson

Ghalib, a thousand desires - Raza Mir

The rise and fall or the dinosaurs - Steve Brusatte

A gentleman in Moscow - Amor Towles

Ishmael - Daniel Quinn

No one is too small to make a difference - Greta Thunberg

The ivory throne - Manu Pillai

Born a crime - Trevor Noah

An astronauts guide to life on earth - Chris Hadfield

I am Malala - Malala Yousafzai

Buddha Vol 1-8: Osamu Tezuka

The shape of ideas - Grant Snider

The audacity of hope - Barack Obama

Circe - Madeline Miller

Becoming - Michelle Obama

I will judge you by your bookshelf- Grant Snider

A promised land - Barack Obama

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Ulli Chammandi

Of onions, chilli pepper, oil, and salt, bland batter I raise the value of.

Be it flat dosas or fat idlis, I help wipe down all the grease.

But if bread is not your cup of tea, try me with tapioca and coffee.

If I am too strong for your taste buds, add to me some grated coconut.

People accuse me of bad breath, still they eat me with no regret.

If you like your food spicy, look me up, I am the Ulli Chammandi.

https://www.vegrecipesofindia.com/ulli-chammanthi-recipe/

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Koi din gar zindagaani aur hai, Apne jee mein hum ne thaani aur hai. Though we have but a few days to live awhile, I have resolved to live it in a new style.

Ghalib

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2019 - Resolute

The Gurnsey literary and potato peel pie society - Mary Ann Schafer and Annie Barrows

When breath becomes air - Paul Kalanithi

Marvel 1602 - Neil Gaiman

DC universe rebirth - Geoff Marsh

All the names they used for god - Anjali Sachdeva

Supernova in the east - Dan Carlin

The pillars of the earth - Ken Follett

World without end - Ken Follett

The sirens of Titan - Kurt Vonnegut

Column of Fire - Ken Follett

How to win an Indian election - Shivam Shankar Singh

Em and the big Hoom - Jerry Pinto

The courtesan, the mahatma & the Italian Brahmin - Manu S. Pillai

The verdict - Prannoy Roy and Doran Sopariwala

In love with the world - Yongey Mingyur Rinpoche

A fine balance - Rohinton Mistry

The ministry of utmost happiness - Arundathi Roy

Alice in wonderland - Lewis Carroll

Superforecasting - Philip Tetlock & Dan Gardner

Skyward - Brandon Sanderson

One part woman - Perumal Murugan

Gujarat Files: Anatomy of a cover up - Rana Ayyub

I am a troll - Swati Chaturvedi

The Buddha’s non-sectarian teachings - SN Goenka

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Elvis’ bumper sticker

Elvis Presley was driving his car; his producer in the passenger seat. They were discussing the nuances of the next record release. The bumper sticker on the car read "Everything has to be fine-combed these days, else we will get taken for a ride.”

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Asphyxiation

A scanty morsel I await, my gluttony awaiting exoneration; for I devour humanity’s scum, freeing umbral spirit from body.

Cold feet and terrified eyes, I see him dead before death. The black linen falls over; devoid of any cherish; yet one of the fortunate few, who knows his departure time.

Engulfing his soft skin, I feel the furious blood rush, heart beating in hopeless hope, awaiting a momentous miracle to metamorph life.

Painful paras of prison priest pierce the sinned mind; fear vents and heat dissipates, boiler of extreme desperation, with radiations of past regret.

At the strike of Amen, the mind knows it is time, there is no escaping the vortex, the destiny long concluded, the finality of death.

Cold eyes of the executioner push over the death rod; flashing visions from life and then the last thought: Heaven or hell? Paid for my sin, didn’t I? I didn’t live what you would call a life; spare me.

And then I pull him hard, out of his misery into my stomach; hunger momentarily satisfied; awaiting another, for the same.

- The noose

(2005)

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Vipassana - An atheist meditates

TL;DR - Vipassana is not religious or spiritual and is a mind rewiring exercise that allows one to take greater control of the subconscious (and conscious mind). Subsequently, it empowers one to deal with problems previously beyond the reach of one's mental and physical capabilities. I highly recommend the ten-day program (see www.dhamma.org for more details) to everyone who can spare the time. There are over 150 vipassana centers around the world. And it is financially free - accommodation, teachings, and food included. One just needs to make the time. Full version - I try to stay clear of all religious and spiritual activities. I still don't know what spirituality means because I don't understand the concept of the spirit. It sounds like an esoteric word for unnecessary mysticism that is always beyond human reach. At best, I think spirituality is religion minus the branding. I had put meditation under the umbrella of spirituality and hence steered clear of it thus far. The only meditation I knew about is the one where people close their eyes and chant the name of their favorite god, and for an atheist, this sounded like an exercise in vain. No one is listening. Then life's challenges made vipassana happen. All my deep thoughts over the last couple of years have been about everything but myself. I am a massive consumer of information - books, news, movies, podcasts, etc. Any time I am not at work or asleep, I seek knowledge. So my most profound thoughts (albeit to serve no meaningful, practical outcomes) for a long time have been about the social, economic, and political problems of the country and the world. These have been eating up my brain cycles. I also regretted that I only consumed and didn't produce anything of value. Life has been unfulfilling for a while. I was left with a string of unresolved personal problems that have dragged on for a long time. I felt like I was in a rut and seemed incapable of thinking and acting my way out of these problems. The breakthrough came when I had the awareness that I have been so distracted by everything outside myself; no wonder then my personal problems have lingered. No effort was put at the depth required to resolve these problems. It wasn't always like this, and something had to give. With this realization, I desired to isolate myself and buy me space and time needed for deep introspection on personal matters. I had heard of silent retreats before but didn't give them a second thought. So I finally mentioned to my Significant Other to help me find such a place. A few months later, she told me she had signed us up at a Vipassana meditation silent retreat. A silent retreat I sought, but meditation made me suspicious. She assured me there was nothing religious about it. So unlike my usual self, I decided to take the plunge without reading anything about Vipassana. As far as I was concerned, I was going to a place where I could be silent for 10 days with no one to talk to me. That alone had great value. And if things got too spiritual for my liking, I could always leave. With some disclaimers to my Significant Other about the possibility of an early exit, we both set out to our 10-day program. We reached, registered, and handed over our phones and valuables for safekeeping. All reading and writing material had to be given up. Men's quarters separated from women's, I found myself allocated a private room with basic amenities, and thence started my 10 days of silence. I was required to not make eye contact with anyone, and if anything was needed, I could write requests in chits to volunteers who served the course. Except for a bar of soap and a broom on day one, I never used the chit again. A schedule with precise times for waking up, food, meditation, training, breaks, and sleep was published. What then followed was 10 days of rigorous discipline in meditation, sleep, and food habits. I haven't had this much discipline in my life in a long time - there is always that one more episode to watch, one more dish to eat, one more round of poker to play, or one more article to read. But I was able to let go of all my excuses (thanks to the distraction-free environment) and adhere to a demanding regimen. I was free to walk out at any time I wanted. But I didn't. I was intrigued the very first day, and each day had new realizations that kept me hooked despite the body and mind throwing up withdrawal symptoms and masturbating my mind to give up and go back into my Netflixed life.

Challenges I faced: • Follow a rigid schedule (which I eventually got to respect) • Eat bland vegetarian food only (which I ultimately found tasty) • Skip dinner (which I found easily doable) • Meditate 14 hours a day (which I was able to bear through because I could perceive the gains) • Sit in a single spot for a very long duration without any motion (I managed this for 3 hours a day) • Not talk to anyone or even look at them Vipassana, at its core, is 3 elements: 1) Psychology - Wisdom about how the mind works. Patterns of the mind's behavior. A precise model is provided for how people behave - the brain receives inputs, processes it, and then produces output. Insight is provided into the types of inputs, outputs, and the various paths of processes between these inputs and outputs. This information is vital because it allows us to define a  reference for how we usually experience the world (inputs), analyze it (process), and then react to the world (outputs). If we have a good understanding of the mind works, and then if we recognize that certain types of thinking/behavior are undesirable, then we can reference our behavior/thoughts against this model and correct it. Correction can be real-time before we behave or think to our own and other's detriment. Vipassana aims to map any experience into a reaction that improves outcomes in life. To achieve this, it helps us rewire our mind to help us recognize every moment we deviate from the learned mind model or don't use the most optimized paths between the experiences and reactions through proper analysis. Vipassana intends to change our thinking to pick optimal outcomes or reduce the chances of making poor choices in behavior/action. I was aware of a few mind models at a surface level that psychologists teach/use to help their clients introspect about their own behavior. The psychology offered in Vipassana may not be too different from some of these models. But what I liked about the mental model proposed in Vipassana is that it is very accessible to the layman. It is simplified and distilled into the basics without jargon, and that allows pretty much anyone to absorb the model. Vipassana has been used to perform mass prisoner reforms in one of the largest prisons in the world in India. The model is not perfect. It is incomplete and/or doesn't deal with (at least in sufficient depth with) many aspects of human thinking. It also seems to operate in binaries than in a continuum. But then I suspect no mental model accounts for everything either. I am very curious to see what a psychologist would have to say about it. Vipassana supposedly was put together and formally taught by Buddha. So I suspect this makes Buddha one of the earliest psychologists who documented his work, shared knowledge, and provided therapy. Perhaps there is a thesis for bridging modern psychology with Buddhist psychology. Maybe it has already been done. 2) Mental gymnastics - As a part of the meditation process, we are asked to perform increasingly complex mental exercises for ten days. It is a gymnasium for the mind. In the gym, as we develop, we increase weights and repetitions. In vipassana meditation, we increase the workload on the brain. What seemed like a huge load once then becomes trivial, and we find new challenging workloads for the mind. As the complexities of these workloads increase, the brain is stronger and is much more capable of dealing with complex real-world problems. The reason the mental gymnastics is very important is, without it, all the learned psychology is just theory. We can read much material on mental models and human behavior. We can read books and learn good behavior and morals from the experiences of others. All this intellectual information is good to keep. But this knowledge is not useful if it can't be recalled and used at the moment we need it to solve the problems we face. The teachings contend that despite our intellectual knowledge, we don't recall and apply our learning often enough because of the lack of experiential learning. Experiential learning is about acquiring knowledge through experience and reacting with wisdom. The mental gymnastics that we do in vipassana sharpens our mind and gives us the ability to continually monitor our sub-conscious and conscious behavior (through focus and discipline) against the previously defined model and produce a better response. Without the mental gymnastics, the psychology is mostly useless. However, the mental gymnastics from the meditation has excellent value even in isolation. It is a tool that teaches us the discipline needed for sustained effort. It sharpens our minds to solve complex problems (not of our mind and behavior if we don't absorb the psychology). This was the most useful part of vipassana.

3) Philosophy - Absorb the mental model and use the power of the mental gymnastics to live a glorious life. Here the philosophy defines the ideal glory for the individual and the whole of mankind. This is the weakest part of vipassana. The philosophy suggests that vipassana is the only and the most truthful mental model. The philosophy gets preachy about an ideal life that can be realized by combining psychology with the meditative techniques. It raised more questions than it answered. Yet, the philosophy gets a pass because even the teacher suggests that if we don't subscribe to the philosophy, it doesn't matter. Focus on meditation. Good things will follow. I could agree with this. Thankfully, the course is also light on philosophy and heavy on the mental gymnastics. But I am now more curious about Buddhist philosophies. I find it hard to believe that this much thinking went into vipassana, yet there were glaring flaws in the philosophy. I suspect there isn't enough time in ten days to cover all philosophical ground, and further reading is required. Nothing has pushed my mind to its limits the way vipassana has. There were constant dropouts from the course who couldn't muster the determination to see through the ten days. The mind plays tricks when pushed hard. One must resolve to not give up, no matter what. What I gained: • Tremendous amounts of patience. I stopped being bored of not doing anything. I can now meditate anywhere I am, and it keeps my mind occupied enough to not get bored. • Total comfort with silence and lack of necessity to have a conversation • Body control - I have now been able to stop my sneezes on will (say 4 out of 7 times). I can clear a blocked nose by thought. I can clear heartburn (acid indigestion) on-demand when it surfaces. I can desensitize myself to body pain as it arises. • Indifference to unpleasant sensations - Ability to eat food I strongly disliked (papaya). I may not seek it out, but I will no longer be repulsed by it. • Getting high from meditation - substitution for hallucinogens (though I wonder how it would be if both can be combined) • I spent a lot of time recalling not-trivial math and electronics I studied in school and college from almost 2 decades ago. A lot of this happened because I had meant to refresh some engineering basics to enable me to be better at work. I had forgotten a lot of concepts that I was able to recall and create problems and solutions in my head with eyes closed. • Regulate my breath and be calm in the face of inputs that have the potential to agitate me • Be at peace with undesirable events/outcomes. • Lost 4 Kg in 10 days and dropped below 70 Kg for the first time a decade. • I had the time to think through in great detail many aspects of life - marriage, other relationships, career, personal development (physical and mental), finance. In all these areas, I had stagnated one way or another, and now I have definite thoughts on what needs to be done in each of these areas to fix the problems and make things exciting. I came back and was immediately able to resolve some issues in some of these aspects of life. The others will be acted upon in time. It's too early to tell how useful these actions are, but at least I don't feel incapable of making decisions and changes in life. • I no longer feel like procrastinating. I have been very productive since I have come back. I have written more in 2 days since coming back than I have in the whole of last year (admittedly not a high benchmark). I am very motivated to put in a lot of effort to make things better for me and others around me. • Inner peace   What I experienced was uniquely mine. When silence was broken on the last day, different people described different experiences, but none were harmful. I think everyone who stuck around benefited from the experience. It is essential to go into a project like this without expectations of experiences. The only thing one must go with is the hope that there is value to be gained for the discomforts one has to experience. I felt sustained long duration meditation for 10 days was really necessary to drill in the discipline, build the mental model, and develop the mental tools to realize desired outcomes. A vipassana course or a meditative technique that is shorter may not yield sufficient value to make this a sustainable habit once the course ends. While there is some rewiring in the brain and life is likely to get better, I am convinced that if I can meditate for even 15 minutes a day, I will only improve at dealing with myself and the world around me. Should I stop the meditation, I expect that at least some of these gains will be reversed. This is not a one-time exercise.

Other aspects: The principal teacher whose audio and video discourses are played, SN Goenka, had lots of nuggets of wisdom. However, he has passed away, and the training material has not been updated with examples and analogies more relevant to modern times. Doing this would have made the experience more personal to a lot of people. The assistant teachers are not worthy of that title are best left unspoken about. Thankfully, they are inconsequential to the course, and everything you need to know is well drilled into you from the principal teacher's discourses. The training of new students, their food, and accommodation are funded from donations from previous students. At the end of the course, if you thought there was value in the course, you may choose to donate any amount of your liking. If you decide to not give, there is really no one around to judge you for it. It is your call. The ten days at a Vipassana silent retreat has convinced me that (vipassana) meditation doesn't belong to the realm of spirituality. It belongs to the fields of psychology and gymnastics. The world is a better place for it, and everyone should try it once.

P.S:

I have intentionally left out the specific details of the vipassana philosophy, psychology, and the actual mental gymnastic techniques. There is a vast difference between intellectualizing the experience from someone else versus experiencing it personally, and I firmly believe the former devalues the latter. I think it would be very hard to go into this experience unbiased if I spell out the specifics. I don’t mean to make it sound cultish by masking this information. Everything about the process so is elementary and straightforward that one is very likely to dismiss it as trivial if the details are called out. This could very well demotivate people from seeking out this experience. 

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Dystopioid

It is a brave new world and 1984 is not a story. What-abouteries and what-ifferies galore, of binary thoughts, -isms, -ists and lost nuances. Conviction Trumps truth, fiction gratifies and facts don’t. Gods are litigants, and humans are judges. Some real numbers are rational, most real people are not. Emotions and faith run high, humanity runs low. Social is the media, anti- are the citizens. When all else fails, we netf(l)ix.

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Chronosynclastic infundibulum

n. A point in space where, upon a person entering it, that person's existence in space-time ceases to be linear, becoming discrete. This means that a person that has entered a chronosynclastic infundibulum exists at multiple points and lines in space-time. For example, such a person could exist at all points in time in one place and also appear at another point for five minutes.

From Kurt Vonnegut's "The Sirens of Titan."

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The end of a walk

Anakin Skywalker was now 75. He desired some peace and quiet for the remainder of his life. Years of running and hiding from rebel forces had worn him out. Today, he found respite sitting in a quaint coffee shop at the Mos Espa spaceport, Planet Tatooine. It was surprisingly crowded, unlike the few times he had been here. “Perhaps it was a bad decision to come back here”, he thought.

His eyes rolled down the menu. It stopped at the item that had irked him before. “Darth Vader Latte: An evil concoction of bitter beans from the Scarce mountains of Tatooine and Sarlacc liquor. Not for the faint.”

“I will have the Darth Latte”, he said to the waiter after much deliberation. He knew how bitter people were about him. Today, he would get a taste of his own self.

“Oh ho, we have a courageous one here. Wants the Darth Vader Latte”, announced the waiter loudly to everyone else. A few chairs creaked, a few heads turned and the din subsided.

“You shall have it sir. He he, He he”, he giggled and walked away from the table. The cashier rang a bell above him to celebrate and the noise resumed.

“Thank you”, he mumbled to the waiter with a hint of sarcasm, not looking up. Instead, he took out a book from his satchel and flipped to the pages with the bookmark.

Staring into the book, he reminisced without reading. He had never really recovered from the failure of the Death stars. All subsequent plans that he had conceived had failed as well. They didn’t have the passion with which he had driven the Death star projects. The failures had spiraled him into a depression.

No one truly understood his intent. To everyone, he was the monster bent on destroying civilizations. He had failed to get the public too see his vision for a unified galaxy which could only be achieved by taking out Encephalus, the planet that harbored the most violent factions in the galaxy. The rebel forces were never able to look beyond their petty quarrels and their desire for undisciplined freedom made them blind to the chaos in the galaxy. In the end, the legacy he had left behind was a succession of failures, the death of millions, and a coffee named after him. He had failed his life's purpose. He had murdered many and gained nothing. In the end, the means hadn't been justified.

He jerked to the crashing sound of utensils and found himself staring at a stranger peering into his eyes. The stranger stood there thunderstruck and didn't wink for what seemed like eternity.

"Did he recognize me?", wondered Anakin to himself. He looked down to the coffee in his mug to avoid eye contact. The swirling coffee reminded him of the galaxy.

"You!"

Anakin ignored the stranger.

"Look at me while I speak to you!"

Anakin continued to ignore.

"I know you, you piece of shit. I know your eyes. I will never forget! You can change your clothes, your hair and remove your mask; but I will always recognize you!".

"Sir, I think you have the wrong person", said Anakin, keeping his eyes down.

"The wrong person? The only wrong person in this world is you Darth Vader! The personification of evil. The only one who could take out planets without remorse. "

A collective "woah" reverberated around the room. Drunken brawls were not uncommon in Mos Espa . However, people generally tended to their own business. But the mere mention of Anakin’s Jedi name brought the coffee shop to a stand still. There were 33 pairs of eyes looking in a single direction.

"Today you shall face justice!", yelled the stranger.

"Sir, you have the wrong person. I am a career librarian biding my time until death catches up with me". Anakin once had the largest library in the galaxy. How he missed drowning in his books.

"Death is definitely catching up with you today, Mr. Vader. Today, I will have my revenge for the murder of my brother and a million others."

Anakin suddenly felt the searing heat of hot liquid on his face. The coffee trickled down to his tongue. It was sweet.

He looked up and recognized his accuser. He could see the rage. This was the brother of Boris, the arms dealer who had supplied the kyber crystals for the Death star's superlaser. He had killed Boris after a scuffle when he had reneged on the deal and demanded a larger payment for the crystals. His mask had been damaged in the scuffle and Boris' brother, not more than 15 years old and crouching in the corner of the room, had seen Anakin's eyes. He didn't expect the kid to remember him. He couldn't have been more wrong.

At that moment, he knew his run was over. There was no escaping this time. His silence and calm made the case against him. And everyone in the coffee shop knew it too.

He had hoped to die quietly with remorse and regret. The last words from his mouth "I am sorry" was barely heard in the carnage that followed. He felt the first few stabs and the excruciating pain. Then, to his surprise, there was no more regret. No more failures. Justice had been done, to him and to everyone else in the galaxy. He found his peace and looked forward to the quietness of eternity that was to follow. But hell was real.

(Star wars fan fiction, alternate history)

[viswas]

“Hunger is the best seasoning”

Ken Follett, Pillars of the earth