wallpapertown

[wallpapertown]

For my entire life, I have not known if Ozzy Osbourne was dead or alive and I finally googled it.

Is this what Schrödinger felt like?

[wallpapertown]

STOP! before you decide you are irretrievably doomed, try one of the following options:

transition

bdsm

iron supplements

[wallpapertown]

huge shout out to this little kid for writing my favorite poem

[wallpapertown]

No one told me OSCAR ISAAC is playing Victor Frankenstein in Guillermo Del Toro’s Frankenstein!!!

If anyone needs me, I’ll be drooling all day.

[wallpapertown]

Prince Wyll Ravengard AU where his father has arranged a ball to find a suitor for Wyll.

In an attempt to make it a less shallow endeavor, it’s decided it will be a masquerade ball. He can choose someone based on personality, not looks. (Despite the fact that they’ve all been pre selected by his father.) But no one planned for the mysterious uninvited guest: a rogue who has snuck in on a heist.

Will they leave with the blood ruby? Or get distracted by the handsome prince?

[wallpapertown]

Part of me thinks that Milchick has been a mole this whole time and the marching band was intended to celebrate the downfall of Lumon.

“But he fired Irving B!” Only after Irving B made an attempt on the life of the CEO’s daughter in front of everyone. (And this is after he already rehired Iriving B. ) He can’t let them think those kind of actions go without consequences. Plus she’ll report it to papa.

Also when he banters with the animatronic about how he’s taller than the actual Kier was, he’s figuratively cutting him off at the knees.

[wallpapertown]

Peeping Astarion

Astarion X Tav (Gender Neutral) 18+

Astarion’s pov, no physical description of reader

18+ Below Line! Warnings/tags below!

CW: Voyeurism, Fantasizing, Masturbation, dubcon (due to the voyeurism)

Hunger gnawed at his insides. He couldn’t wait any longer for his next meal. If he was caught feeding, at least he’d have the strength to fight. Sneaking off into the night is easy enough. Finding his dinner is more of a challenge. His ears prick up at the sound of movement in the nearby river. A creature was close. A deer out for a late night drink perhaps? Not the feast he was hoping for, but anything would do. Anything was better than a rat. Instinctively lowering his body closer to the earth, he stalks towards the noise. With his light foot work and the darkness of nightfall, he has an advantage on the unknowing creature. He peers out from behind a tree, readying himself to attack. He’s frozen in his tracks when he spots a different type of prey. The sight of your bare body, with rivulets of water cascading from your cupped hands, down your arms and chest. A gentle exhale leaves your lips. The illumination from the moon gives your skin a glistening appearance. It’s an ethereal sight that takes his breath away. The strong leader caught in a moment of softness. His gaze lingers for a moment longer before forcing himself to turn away, not yet leaving. His appetite has only increased, but he can’t leave you in a vulnerable position whilst alone. That’s what he tells himself anyways. It has nothing to do with his cock that’s currently straining against his tight trousers. Hells. Fuck it. As he undoes the laces at the waistband of his trousers, his head falls back against the tree with a dull thud. He tugs his loosened pants down to his thighs and spits on his palm before reaching down his underwear. As he places a firm grasp to the base of his shaft, he lets out a breath he didn’t realize he was holding. He loosens his grip and begins to move his hand leisurely up and down his length. With his other hand, he experimentally runs his fingers through his soft locks of silver hair and tugs. A shiver runs through his body as a moan escapes him. When was the last time he touched himself like this? Not rushing? Not doing it for anyone other than himself? A splashing noise catches his attention and he peeks his head around the tree. His mouth drops when he sees you just a few feet away now, sitting on a rock near the edge of the river with your back towards him. Curiosity gets the better of him as he pauses his movements to watch you. Your legs open wider as your dominant hand drops down. Soft gasps lilting from your lips. It’s music to his ears. Your back arches and your head falls back as you lazily pleasure yourself. He returns his grasp to his throbbing cock and continues stroking slowly and deliberately in time with your pace. He can’t take his eyes off of you. If only he could touch you. Your body looks warm and inviting. As you place a hand around your throat, your speed increases. “Oh fuck Astarion!” Your body is shaking as your orgasm washes over you. At that same moment, Astarion’s whole body seizes up. The pleasure is overwhelming. He bites a hand to stifle his moans, inadvertently drawing blood in the process. His orgasm rips through him rapidly. His release is splashed over his stomach and hand. He can’t let you see him like this, but he can’t go back to camp without completing his hunt. Just as he’s fixed his trousers, your sudden appearance makes him jump back. “Hells Astarion! You scared the shit out of me. I’m going to put a bell on you one of these days! What are you doing out here?” Water still drips from your face and hair as you stand there now dressed, with your bag in one hand and your other hand clutching your chest in shock as you catch your breath. “Isn’t it obvious? I’m here to bathe! I do apologize darling but you’ll have to buy me dinner before you can attend this show, so run along back to camp!” You eye him suspiciously and just as your gaze lowers to his hands, he tucks them behind his back. “Hm. Alright, just stay out of trouble Astarion. For me.” As you walk away into the dark forest towards camp he swears he sees you shoot a wink at him. He wipes the sweat from his brow and exhales.

[wallpapertown]

i wanted to tell you earlier this week how much i loved your gale headcanons: they are some of the most realistic characterizations i've read and the details you wrote in were so unique i was rereading the post for how fun it was. thank you for sharing your lovely thoughts on him with the community. also saw the post on the love triangle and that was an unhinged experience like Yeah This is the Scenario of all times to portray jealousy in just the right way. Soooooo satisfactory to eat that up You Get It. I hope to read more BG3 content from you whether it's in a week or a month or a year!!!

Hi anon :)

You are so sweet! Thank you so much for the kind words. It was such a pleasant surprise to see this message at a time where my passion for writing is high but my motivation is low. You’ve motivated me!!! I have some fics in the works for Gale x tav, and quite a saucy Gale x tav x Astarion with lots of jealousy and pining (you get it.) I’ve just got to edit them! Also I received your fic request in the other message & all I’ll say is: I’m a sucker for flattery and politeness so… Keep an eye out in the next week or so. I hope to make you proud 🫡 Wishing you all the best!

[wallpapertown]

The most important takeaway from Sleepy Hollow (1999) is that he wears spurs. And like duh. He’s the headless HORSEMAN.

But this begets a question: Where is all the art of the headless horseman as a cowboy??

I know what I must do.

[wallpapertown]

✨BG3: Gale Dekarios X Reader Gender Neutral (Tav) Headcanons🔮

Fluff above line & NSFW below line

(No Physical Descriptions of Reader Tav)

Fluff:

-His love language outwardly is definitely Acts of Service just a smidge more than the others. Every morning without fail, he has your beverage of choice prepared just the way you like it.

-His love language inwardly is Quality Time. Your sweet words and kind acts mean so much to him, but all he truly needs is for you to just be there with him. He loves teaching you things he studied when he was alone because when he connects to that moment in the weave, and sees his lonely studious self in the tower, he also sees his contented smiling self with you.

-Parchment is limited out here. The neglected books however, are in abundance. So as much as it pains him at times to deface literature- he finds somewhat empty pages in the forgotten books- and he writes love letters to you. Poems about you. Simple musings. Nothing he plans to show you. But you’re consuming his thoughts as much as the orb consumes weave. He needs to do something about it. So he writes. Pours it all out into the ink.

-The Mold Earth Cantrip allows you to create shapes and colors that form a message and/or image in the earth up to 5 feet, among other things.

Gale would catch you staring at the ground while trekking. Seeing the exhaustion and possible sadness on your face, he casts mold earth to cheer you up. You stop in your tracks when the image of your sweet boy, Scratch the dog, made of delicate white flowers appears in the grass. You smile and Gale’s heart swells with accomplishment and happiness.

-Gale would love the idea of a secret code. It’s not like time or resources are on your side on the road, so he uses alchemical ingredients to talk to you. He places a piece of dried Mergrass in your book to say “what are your thoughts on this?” He leaves balsam on your pillow after you’ve helped him realize he’s meant for greater things than sacrificing himself, to say “you’ve helped me heal.” Some of them are more cryptic and suggest that the code is more for him to express his feelings for you subtly, than to communicate with you. Such as the time he put Autumncrocus in your shoes. He thought he was so clever saying “you make me feel as though I’m walking on air.”

-While exploring one day, a shiny glint in the dirt catches his eye. It’s a silver locket with a blue stone in it. The chain is broken and it’s got dirt in all the crevices. He stashes it while no one’s looking since it’s clearly not going to put coin in the party’s pocket. When he’s back at camp, he’d secretly tinker with the item. Using Prestidigitation to clean all the dirt out, changing the color of the stone to a deep purple shade, and using Mending to fix the broken chain. It’s almost perfect. He asks Shadowheart to place some type of protective glyph into the locket. Now he would just need to find the right time to give it to you.

-If you were cold, he would have you sit in front of him, in between his legs with your back to his chest, and he’d wrap his arms around you as he reads you a book.

-He would secretly ask Oskar or any artist you’d come across, to do a simple drawing of you. Small enough that he could fit it in his pocket. Sure he can conjure the image of you magically to see your face, but that’s not very subtle. And with how often he wants to see your face? It’s not very practical.

-As much as he’s a yapper, he’s also a listener. He would be so focused on hearing about your interests and hobbies and anything you’d want to talk about. If he gets to hear the sound of your voice while also finding out what makes you happy? There’s no downsides for him.

NSFW BELOW LINE 18+ ONLY

————————————————

-Service Switch vibes. He doesn’t care who is in control. He cares that you’re experiencing all the good things you possibly can that you’ll allow.

-HUGE on consent. You’d often have to place his hands on your body for him to get the message in the beginning because he would never want to cross your boundaries. After some conversations, he would feel more confident that he knew what you like and that you’d communicate with him.

-He gets very turned on watching you wash your clothes in the river or cooking at camp. (even if it’s just boiling water) It makes him picture a life with you at his tower and his possessive nature kicks in.

-Gale had so much time in that tower alone. If he injured a muscle, he let it heal without magic and focused his arcane skills elsewhere. So when you hurt your back one day & refuse to take a healing potion or approach Shadowheart, he helps you the only way he knows how: massage. I strongly believe that Gale Dekarios would be such a skilled masseuse. He offers out of kindness, especially since you’re being so stubborn about helping yourself. But then he gets started. His hands working a luxurious smelling oil into the muscles of your neck, shoulders, and back. It’s when his thumbs press near your lower back that you’re squirming and letting out a small gasp. He pretends not to notice, out of respect for you. But he also doubles down on his efforts, needing to hear that noise from your lips again.

-Gale who refuses to cast Prestidigitation to clean you up after sex unless you request it because he finds it disrespectful towards you. “Do you think so little of me that I would only savor your company while in the throes of pleasure?” And he’d grab a warm, wet cloth and start cleaning you, placing delicate kisses to your collarbone and cheek as he works. He memorizes the image of you like this: blissed out with pleasure, his release painting your thighs, the soft rise and fall of your chest as you catch your breath, your sweet lips, your perfect body. He never wants time with you to end.

-Remember that Mending spell I mentioned? Gale would develop an OBSESSION with ripping your clothes off and fixing it for you afterwards. The carnality of taking you with such recklessness, contrasted with using his magic to tenderly mend your garments. He likes to think each time he rips and repairs it, he’s imbuing part of himself into your garments for you to carry around. That’s why he rips your underwear the most…

-Gale would be into Shibari. He wouldn’t pressure you if that wasn’t your thing. If you were into it, or even just trying it, he’d be happy being the one tying the knots or the one getting tied. The intentionality of the process, quality time, trust, and uniqueness of the experience would all be appealing to him.

-He uses Message to wordlessly communicate with you in a way that you can respond to him as well and others cannot hear your conversation. You two had used it plenty of times before! So when your adventuring party is looting an empty office and Gale whispers “Bend over the desk” it leaves you sputtering and checking the faces of your companions. They’re looking at you strange but Gale is giving you a cheeky wink as his actions go unnoticed. It’s then you realize that he hadn’t said it aloud. You collect yourself and continue looting as he continues speaking in your mind “Would you like that? I could spread you out and eat you right there before claiming you?” Your legs feel like jelly and you grab the nearest surface to steady yourself. Of course it’s the fucking desk. You imagine Gale on his knees behind you, spreading you open and tasting you as his fingers explore your willing body. He coughs loudly and now everyone’s looking at him as you remember- Message works both ways. He just saw the filth you pictured.

-Creampies. Sorry, had to say it. When he’s about to finish, the last thing he wants to do is pull away from your sweet touch. It also stokes his possessive nature. Sometimes, with your permission, he doesn’t clean it up. He simply pulls your undergarments back up and leaves it in you. One morning, it happens right before you’re off to fight a hag. Seeing you slay this malicious hag, saving an innocent victim, all while his cum leaks onto your legs unbeknownst to anyone except you two, it’s enough to have him pulling you to a secluded corridor & having his way with you, using his previous release as lubricant.

-Saving the most random one for last: I believe that if Gale has an intense sex dream when he goes to bed turned on, he projects the dream unknowingly towards his subject of desire (and he’s never found out because 1. They’d have to desire him as well and be near his sleeping form. 2. It wouldn’t have worked on Mystra since she’s like magic incarnate.) So similar to the moment where you can project the idea of kissing to Gale when you’re connected in the Weave. What if he’s so connected to magic, that combined with his desire for you, he’s strong enough to subconsciously tether your minds for moments? Maybe he dreams of fucking you in the Astral Planes and when you wake up you’re like “Man my tadpole dream was so strange last night?” And everyone else is so confused until you say “Gale was there but no one else and..” and he’s pulling you away from the group to talk lol.

[wallpapertown]

Stuck Between an Arcane Gate and a Hard Place

Gale Dekarios x Tav (Genderless)

(Inspired by the Flumph’s mating rituals book in the under dark)

Gale of Waterdeep has finished all his books & needs something to keep him awake.

SMUT 18+ BELOW LINE

Gale’s Perspective, all fantasizing, no touching actually occurs. No physical descriptions of Tav.

—————————-

The sky is a dark and comforting blanket over camp. It’s been a long day, for you especially, and Gale has offered to keep first watch. He only wishes he remembered his lack of reading material before he volunteered. Considering the potential literature of his companions, he decides you’re his best chance for an interesting read. Not wanting to wake you or invade your privacy, he casts mage hand and deftly steals the small book tucked into your pack. He’ll return it before you’re awake, he justifies to himself. Sitting by the fire, he opens the novel. “The Pact of the Chain” He quirks an eyebrow at this but turns the page. Warlock knowledge has little value to him, but he wonders what it holds for you. Could you be considering a deal? Had you already made one? As he scrutinizes the words, they start to jumble and distort, before rearranging themselves. He realizes an illusory spell had been cast on your book. He flips the book back over and looks at the cover that now reads “Chained by Desire”. He opens to the first page and begins reading. His eyes widen. This is no warlock guide. This is a romance novel. Frankly, romance might be too generous for what he’s laying his eyes upon. This is much more..carnal. He sits up and brings the book in closer. His cheeks fill with warmth, but he’s unsure if this can be blamed on the campfire. Did you like this stuff? He felt ashamed for unintentionally grabbing something you wished to keep hidden. He told himself he would return the book, until he noticed a dog eared section. He was already this far. Surely one more page couldn’t hurt? He finds himself looking upon a passage where the protagonist of the story has gotten stuck midway through an Arcane Gate with their lower half of their body stuck on one side and their upper half on the other. They are being helped out of the small gate from the front end, when a curious stranger starts touching and pleasing their lower half. They force themselves to resist moaning in front of their rescuer. The drawing in the margins prevents him from being able to read any further. It’s a doodle of the portal he found himself stuck in that YOU helped him out of. You’d written “I’ll give you more than a hand Gale.” below the doodle. He slams the book shut. This wasn’t for his eyes. He shouldn’t have seen this. He leans back against a log and lets out a shaky exhale. His imagination runs wild. Images of your lower half sticking out of a gate while he pleasures you anonymously. Images of his upper half trapped in a gate, as he’s forced to work harder with his hands and mouth to get you off. He knows he’s gotten carried away when he feels his cock straining against the fabric of his garments as he thinks of how the sixty nine position would work with you in that scenario- Would he be able to hear your moans through the gate? Or would he simply see your body writhing as the pleasure runs through you? No. He needs to see your face when it happens for the first time. Needs to see that pretty little expression you make when you finish. Pressing his palm to his aching cock provides small relief. It’s not exactly as if he’s in a position to do anything about his little predicament though. He’s got to keep camp safe. Forget that. He’s got to keep YOU safe most importantly. Shaking away the distracting thoughts, he grabs a quill and ink and is about to scribble a note in your book but can’t bring himself to deface it without your permission. He grabs a scrap piece of parchment and writes “If you’re reading this, I want you to know I’m sorry. I borrowed your book with innocent intentions, but I should’ve asked your permission first. I also would like you to know that though my Mirror Image is only illusory- I’ve yet to show you the Unseen Servant spell…” and tucks the note into tav’s book along with a piece of dried Mergrass, and shoots a nervous glance around camp before sneaking the book back into Tav’s pack.

Author’s notes:

Thank you for reading!

Mergrass is an ingredient for detect thoughts so I think that’s Gale’s way of saying “I’ll be open with you, with or without magic”

I’m thinking of a part 2 where Tav finds the note and reacts!

I highly appreciate reblogs and comments!

[wallpapertown]

Just watched the 2001 Jekyll and Hyde Musical. Do you mean to tell me this man severed himself? THEN tried to reintegrate? /j

[wallpapertown]

[wallpapertown]

your outie has a semi-popular account on a failing microblogging plataform

[wallpapertown]

there’s something so beautiful about helena eagan not being written as an elite frigid untouchable evil yet perfect woman like she’s such a loser and it’s so wonderful. she’s revolutionizing loser women on my tv in the same way helly r continues to revolutionize the representation of girls that bit someone in 3rd grade. and they’re both the same person and hate each other and are messy about it. it’s just beautiful.

[wallpapertown]

The funniest part of romancing gale is knowing that mystra is most definitely watching your tav or Durge throwing it back on that man during his romance arc shenanigans. He’s actively doing magic during every romance scene, meaning that mystra is canonically duty bound to at least listen. Gale is essentially doing the fantasy equivalent of sending your ex a voice memo of you fucking your new partner in every romance scene. the scene channeling the weave? mystra’s there. astral projection glow in the dark fidget spinner bonefest? mystra’s there. the regular bed option? he summons the bed using magic, so mystra’s there too. scene where he takes you to the astral plane (aka mystra’s literal goddamn house)? mystra’s there. every time. she’s sitting in her little magical cuck chair in the corner watching her ex abuse victim boink his new (likely more age appropriate partner). and you know what? hell yeah. gale deserves a little bit of petty fuckery in his life. go off king

[wallpapertown]

helena eagan whose destiny from birth was to be the future serene and placid face of lumon, who never once wavered from that path, even getting severed to prove her commitment to kier's vision, watching her innie be imperfect, impulsive, unsure, freely and openly affectionate and then receive affection and concern in turn with no strings attached.......yeah baby i'd rewind that security footage too