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Weems: I am at a loss for words!!
Wednesday, narrating: Despite being at a loss for words, Principal Weems proceeded to scream at me for the next 45 minutes.
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Enid: Let’s play 20 questions!
Wednesday: Okay. 
Enid: You go first. 
Wednesday: Um, what’s your favorite color?
Enid: Triangle. Do you like girls?
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Enid *shoving glitter glue and felt pens back into her bag, visibly upset*: Okay look, all I’m saying is maybe you shouldn’t have called it ‘craft brewery’ because people are gonna get the wrong idea and let me tell you this has been a big let down.
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Weems: You know, Miss Addams, there’s a saying: “Hurt people... hurt people.”
Wednesday: I like that. I usually go with “Make people cry, make people cry”. Or “Murder your enemies, murder your enemies”. But I like yours, too.
Weems: No, that’s not what that-
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Wednesday: Let's be clear. I don't love Enid, okay?
Wednesday: I just miss her whenever she's not around, think about her all the time, imagine us one day running towards each other in slow motion and kissing, getting married and then growing old together.
Yoko: *sighs*
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Weems: Swear words are completely off limits from now on. If you say one you’ll be expelled.
Wednesday: Heck.
Weems: You are on thin fucking ice.
Weems: oh no-
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Weems: Accidentally went and got myself killed yesterday but the lesbians won’t let me die so I’m back.
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Yoko: Addams, you’re under arrest.
Wednesday: Wait, what? Why?
Yoko: For stealing Enid’s heart.
Enid: Did you just hit on Wednesday for me?
Divina: We’re tired of WAITING, Enid.
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Enid: So what’s Wednesday’s type?
Thing: Blonde, blue eyes, ray of sunshine, oblivious, good sense of humor, K-pop fan, werewolf.
Enid: Sounds kind of like me! Too bad she only sees me as a friend...
Thing: Did I mention oblivious?
Enid: Yeah, why?
Thing: Just making sure.
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Weems: I have a confession...
Morticia: Go for it.
Weems: You know, back in the day, all those times I had nightmares and you let me snuggle with you in bed? Well, sometimes those nightmares weren’t that bad... sometimes they were just an excuse to sleep next to you...
Morticia: That’s terrible.
Weems: I’m sorry-
Morticia: You should make up for it by sleeping next to me every night from now on.
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*Enid and Wednesday chatting*
Wednesday: I'm at the discount store. Do you want something?
Enid: Yes!! Worm on a string!
Wednesday: What?
Enid:
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Wednesday: I can't believe I would both die and kill for you.
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newly released promo pictures for Wednesday season 2:
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Enid: Ask me why I love you.
Wednesday:
Wednesday: Why do you love me, Enid?
Enid: *pulls out a 200-slide-presentation*
Enid: I’m glad you asked!
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Wednesday: How do I make this date romantic?
Thing: Try being mysterious.
*later*
Enid: So where are we going?
Wednesday: None of your fucking business.
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Enid: May I sit there?
Wednesday: That’s my lap.
Enid: That doesn’t answer my question.
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Enid: If you spell skeletons backwards, it still spells skeletons!
Wednesday, deadpan: Wow, I can’t wait for Halloween to see some snoteleks.
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Weems, teaching Enid and Wednesday how to do laundry: Okay, so you always separate your lights from your darks...
Wednesday: That’s racist.
Weems: And then you get your laundry det- Where’s your laundry detergent?
Enid: Right here!
Weems: Okay... Wait, this is bubble bath. Have you been washing your clothes in bubble bath all this time?!
Enid: Yeah. Bubble bath, laundry detergent, soap. It's all the same!
Weems: No, it’s not!
Wednesday: Well, Enid really likes bubble bath. So you back off and leave her alone.
Weems: *sighs*
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