I hate realizing things that I wish weren't true, it just keep breaking me even more...
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Why do I always ruin everything????? I'm so fucking tired of myself
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I never thought loving someone more was gonna hurt this much..
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I wish I was the most important person to you, because ik you are to me
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Why am I still not good enough for you...
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You were the reason I stayed, the reason I'm alive, you saved me 2yrs ago and made me happier than I ever thought was possible, you did something no one else has ever done for me before.. you made me want to live again. And then in a spilt second in just a few words you destroyed all of that, you made me want to die worse then I ever did before, you made me hurt like I never had thought was possible. But its okay, I don't hate you I could never hate you, im always going to love you, ik you said your sorry and that you feel bad and guilty for leaving and I think that was genuine or at least im hoping it is, but its okay bc this time hopefully ill be good enough for you to stay...
"You saved me, until you destroyed me worse than I ever was"
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I realized today that I have stopped living life. I’m literally just trying to get to the next day, just living in the thought of tomorrow. I‘m not living, I’m waiting. And the problem is, I don’t know what I’m exactly waiting for. I‘m kind of scared for what it might be.
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I want to scream. I want to hit something. I want to wreck something. I want to bang my head against the wall. I want to rip my heart out of my chest. I want to do anything to feel something else than my aching heart. But all I can do is sit here in agonising pain while tears run down my face.
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