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i go from "i didn't deserve the things that happened to me" to "there is no suffering that I do not deserve" in like 3 seconds
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Not even low-key, I'm a shit girlfriend why are you with me?
#actually mentally ill#depressing shit#mental health#sorry for being depressing#i cant take this shit anymore#im going to kms#im losing it#cw vent#ready to kms#anxi4ty#bpd?#boyfriend#i love him so much#why does he love me#does he love me#i dont care#i dont know whats wrong with me#i fuck everything up#depression#anxitey#mentally tired#he doesnt know im batshit crazy
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backshots this, backshots that, i would like to be taken out back and shot
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When I was little I never thought I would grow up to be such a worthless piece of shit 😵🤣
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So what if I commit sv!cide and then no one will have to hear from me again lol
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I miss being able to cut my wrists, I was just so openly unwell thay it was normal to see new cuts on me. Now I have to hide it cus they think I'm clean. They think I got better, I never did. I don't think I ever will, I just got better at hiding it.
#actually mentally ill#depressing shit#mental health#sorry for being depressing#i cant take this shit anymore#im going to kms#im losing it#cw vent#ready to kms#anxi4ty#tw sh related#self mutalition#self h@rm#cutting#depression#i deserve it#i want to die#why do i do this to myself#what is wrong with me#bpd?#anxiety#mentally tired#mentally fucked#mentally exhausted#mentally unstable#life is meaningless#i hate this#i hate everything
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i feel like i’m not allowed to be happy. whenever i feel slightly content with my life i immediately get anxious, like i did something wrong.
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Im weird. I want people to care abt me and be concerned, but when they do, I can't believe them.
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Fv€king hell I'm h0rny asf...also I want to km$ so bad...
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*one dry response* they hate me and want me to kill myself
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Don't get clean. You'll relapse eventually so you might as well do it now.
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He's gunna end up hating me sooner or later I already know it. I'm not deserving of his time and patience. I'm not worth the oxygen he'll waste talking to me. I don't want to accidentally hurt him, he means way too much and we have such a good thing going. But I know it's gunna happen, it's bound to. He doesn't know how fucked in the head I am, sure he has my twitter but now that he does im just not going to vent as much or just try not to look too bothered when doing it. I don't want him to have to worry about me.
#actually mentally ill#depressing shit#mental health#sorry for being depressing#i cant take this shit anymore#im going to kms#im losing it#ready to kms#anxi4ty#cw vent#why am i like this#kill my life#i dont know whats wrong with me#i wanna kms#i hate it here#i love him#i love him so much#bpd?#what is my problem#he loves me#why the fuck#does he love me#i dont get it#i dont deserve this#i dont deserve him#i dont deserve to be happy#i have no mouth and i must scream#i want to die#what is wrong with me#what the fuck
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I’m constantly fighting for a life I didn’t even want in the first place
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SOMEONE FUCKING KILL ME I'M SO FUCKING TIRED OF LIVING PLEASE FUCKING PUT ME OUT OF MY MISERY FUCK
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