wii-write-stuff

[wii-write-stuff]

I am a dog

Waiting for its owner

I am a dog

I whine and cry while I

Wait at the door

I am a dog

Waiting hours upon hours

Almost a full 24

I am a dog

A needy dog

A selfish dog

Who won't eat out of his bowl

Who will lay at the door and whine

And beg

And beg

For its owner to come home

I am a dog

Barking at the door

But no keys came

I am a dog

A desperate dog

A needy

Needy dog

Waiting for its owner

[wii-write-stuff]

FINAL DRAFT TIME!!!!

Things are roughly the same, but I did shorten the whole essay by like 100-200 words since it's so long. I tried to keep everything in there and not cut anything out

The Narrator is the player’s guide in The Stanley Parable and The Stanley Parable: Ultra Deluxe. His personality and mood tends to vary depending on the ending the player takes. The Narrator exhibits several traits associated with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD), particularly through his dialogue and reactions in various endings. Using the DSM-5 criteria as a framework, this study will go into depth about how his fear of abandonment, emotional instability, and unstable relationship behaviors manifest throughout the game. For the gameplay, I’ll be using the “The Stanley Parable: Ultra Deluxe - Full Walkthrough [All Endings]” video by “Carrot Helper - 100% Walkthroughs | No Commentary” on YouTube.

There are nine criteria for BPD in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fifth Edition (DSM-5), but one only needs to cover at least five to qualify for diagnosis. I will only be going over the ones the Narrator appears to cover. 

I will be mentioning criterion one, “frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment”, criterion two, “a pattern of unstable and intense interpersonal relationships characterized by alternating between extremes of idealization and devaluation”, criterion three, “identity disturbance: markedly and persistently unstable self-image or sense of self”, criterion six, “affective instability due to a marked reactivity of mood”, and criterion seven, described as is described as chronic feelings of emptiness.

Many of his symptoms take place in the “Skip Button Ending”. In this ending, Stanley is led to a skip button that allows him to skip through the Narrator's monologues. There are eighteen skips in total that gradually drag the Narrator to the depths of desperation and loneliness.

Before the skips, he gets offended at being called "preachy" and then tells Stanley "I feel... like a failure. Like I let these people down." (Carrot Helper 2:34:50-54) Then not long after that, he's quick and eager to give what the people want. The third skip can be an example of criterion one, where the Narrator starts to panic over how much time has passed. The end of the dialogue in the fourth skip shows the Narrator’s fear of Stanley leaving him alone again with him saying,  “Just your decision as to exactly when you're going to make me suffer, to leave me all alone. Surely you will, I don't doubt it. Surely you'll press that button again, leaving me here.”(Carrot Helper 2:46:45), continuing to believe Stanley will leave him again and care more about his own desires than the Narrator’s need for company.

During the fourth skip, the Narrator becomes overwhelmed by a small piece of criticism. He explains that he can’t help but obsess over “every tiny negative thing that anyone ever says about [him]” (Carrot Helper 2:45:59). Just from one negative review of the game, his emotions spiral out of control. He describes himself as wild, impulsive, and impatient—unable to stop himself from lashing out. This moment shows clear signs of criterion six, which involves extreme mood reactivity. It also reflects black-and-white thinking, a common BPD symptom, where the person with BPD thinks something either all good or all bad. The way he talks about “break[ing] anything unbroken”(Carrot Helper 2:46:15) just to please someone suggests a loss of emotional control in the face of perceived rejection, no matter how small.

Criterion three becomes especially clear during the fifth skip. The Narrator admits that what he truly needs isn’t the story, choices, or outcomes—it’s just to be heard. He becomes increasingly distressed as he realizes that everything he’s created means nothing if no one is listening. He even says he would “burn [his] story to the ground” (Carrot Helper 2:48:20) just to know someone is taking in his words. His identity seems tied directly to being perceived by Stanley. The fear of not being heard leads him to question whether he’s real at all, worrying that if he stops speaking, he’ll “slip backwards into the silence and be consumed by it” (Carrot Helper 2:48:54). The more distant Stanley feels, the more the Narrator feels like he’s becoming less and less real. His self-worth and even his sense of existence depend on being acknowledged. As the skips continue, this collapse of identity begins to bleed into emotional emptiness, setting up the gradual silence that follows.

While his emptiness may not be “chronic” in the traditional BPD sense, the game makes it clear that each skip lasts longer than the last, gradually leading to emotional numbness similar to the feelings described in criterion seven. As the ending progresses, the Narrator speaks less and less, sounding almost tired by the sixth skip. He goes completely silent in skips seven and eight, returns in skip nine only to ramble about reviews of The Stanley Parable, then falls silent again until skip eleven—where he repeats in a flat, monotone voice, “the end is never the end is never the end…” This phrase appears throughout the game and emphasizes its lack of a true ending, suggesting an infinite cycle of repetition. While not a criteria, many people send asks to the Tumblr blog “borderline-culture-is” expressing their experiences with BPD, one being repetitive behavior. With the game having no definitive “end”, everything will eventually repeat over and over again.

An example of criterion two is the “Cold Feet” ending, where the Narrator says like “I’m sure you’ll survive the jump! Don’t tell me you’re scared; that’s not the Stanley I know!” (Carrot Helper 1:05:38), and telling Stanley to “do it” over and over again. Once Stanley jumps and falls to his death, the Narrator says “Oops! Looks like I was wrong. How clumsy of me.” (Carrot Helper 1:05:49) There’s even the “Countdown Ending”, where the Narrator laughs at Stanley and taunts him while Stanley panics and tries to turn off the time bomb. 

In addition to the previously mentioned criteria, another trait linked to BPD is the concept of a Favorite Person (FP), which helps explain the depth of the Narrator’s attachment to Stanley. According to an article from PubMed Central named “Understanding a Mutually Destructive Relationship Between Individuals With Borderline Personality Disorder and Their Favorite Person”, people with BPD tend to grow deeply attached to one specific person who becomes their main source of validation and emotional support. This attachment usually goes beyond what most would consider a best friend or favorite person, often involving strong idealization and intense fear of abandonment. 

The article states that “those with BPD feel unable to function properly without their FP and fear that their FP will abandon them” (Jeong, Jin, and Hyun). In both The Stanley Parable and Ultra Deluxe, Stanley could be seen as the Narrator’s FP. In the “Not Stanley” ending, also known as the “Real Person” ending, which is what it’s called in the video, the Narrator compares the player to Stanley, clearly favoring the latter. One example of this idealization is when he says, “I asked you for this one single thing – for your respect; the kind of respect Stanley shows for his choices. He knows what it means to take a story seriously.” (Carrot Helper 1:20:42), and explaining how important it was for the player to be like Stanley.

Before that, he shows strong frustration toward the player, saying things like, “all you need to do is behave exactly as Stanley would,” (Carrot Helper 1:18:07) and whining when his “work”, the story, is destroyed. These moments show how strongly he idealizes Stanley while devaluing the player, a common push-pull dynamic seen in BPD-FP relationships.

Further showing how Stanley could be the Narrator’s FP, the Narrator tells the player, “It was the only thing in the world that was mine, and you've run it into the ground.” (Carrot Helper 1:23:15) When the screen shifts out of bounds, he starts to panic, saying, “The story needs you. It needs you to make a decision. It cannot exist without you. Do you understand me?” (Carrot Helper 1:24:34) These lines show just how much he depends on Stanley to keep the story—and himself—going. This dependency also shows up in the “Zending” ending, where the Narrator becomes visibly afraid as Stanley approaches a staircase, even though in other endings, like the ones I noted that cover criterion two, he doesn’t seem to care when Stanley dies. Lastly, the “Museum” ending includes a line from the Curator that further proves the Narrator’s dependency on Stanley, where she says “Can you see? Can you see how much they need one another?” (Carrot Helper 35:34)

In conclusion, the Narrator from The Stanley Parable: Ultra Deluxe shows multiple traits associated with Borderline Personality Disorder, such as unstable identity, intense emotional reactions, and a fear of abandonment. While a fictional character can't be formally diagnosed, his behaviors closely mirror real-world experiences of those with the disorder.

BPD Traits In The Narrator

The Narrator is the player’s guide in The Stanley Parable and The Stanley Parable: Ultra Deluxe. His personality and mood tends to vary depending on the ending the player takes. The Narrator exhibits several traits associated with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD), particularly through his dialogue and reactions in various endings. Using the DSM-5 criteria as a framework, this study will go into depth about how his fear of abandonment, emotional instability, and unstable relationship behaviors manifest throughout the game. 

There are nine criteria for BPD in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fifth Edition (DSM-5), but one only needs to cover at least five to qualify for diagnosis, the list being fear of abandonment, pattern of unstable relationships, identity disturbance, self-damaging impulsivity, self-mutilating behavior, mood instability, feelings of emptiness, difficulty controlling anger, and paranoid ideation. I will only be going over the ones the Narrator appears to cover.

Starting with criterion one, “frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment”. Many of these symptoms take place in the “Skip Button Ending”. In this ending, Stanley is led to a skip button that allows him to skip through the Narrator's monologues. There are eighteen skips in total that gradually drag Narrator to the depths of desperation and loneliness. After the third skip, the Narrator starts to panic over how much time has passed. The end of the dialogue in the fourth skip shows Narrator’s fear of Stanley leaving him alone again with him saying, “Just your decision as to exactly when you're going to make me suffer, to leave me all alone. Surely you will, I don't doubt it. Surely you'll press that button again, leaving me here. And surely you'll put your own desire to see what's next ahead of my need for company, for companionship. Surely you'll not be so moved by my howls of fitful anxiety that you sit with me and just stay here. Oh no, no, no, I know you too well. You'll be leaving me again soon, I can feel it.”

Onto criterion two, “a pattern of unstable and intense interpersonal relationships characterized by alternating between extremes of idealization and devaluation”. This comes off as one of the most recurring symptoms the Narrator expresses throughout the game. A good ending to point out is the "Not Stanley" ending, where he gets worried when Stanley isn't moving. Before that, he also gets mad at the player for "ruining his game", saying "It was the only thing in the world that was mine, and you've run it into the ground." There’s also the “Cold Feet” ending, where the Narrator says things like “I’m sure you’ll survive the jump!”, “Don’t tell me you’re scared; that’s not the Stanley I know!”, and telling Stanley to “do it” over and over again. Once Stanley jumps and falls to his death, the Narrator says “Oops! Looks like I was wrong. How clumsy of me.” Adding on, there is a line the Curator says in the “Museum” ending, which can show his unstable relationships: "Oh, look at these two. How they wish to destroy one another. How they wish to control one another. How they both wish to be free. Can you see? Can you see how much they need one another?"

Criterion three is depicted as “identity disturbance: markedly and persistently unstable self-image or sense of self”. This is shown in the fifth skip, where Narrator says “Because maybe, Stanley, maybe - if you can hear me, then maybe it means I'm real. Maybe I'm not just a fiction.” Though not consistent, this line still shows the Narrator questioning his reality and sense of self. 

Criterion six is “affective instability due to a marked reactivity of mood”. An example of his mood swings is in the "Skip Button" ending, before the skips, where he gets offended at being called "preachy" and then tells Stanley "I feel... like a failure. Like I let these people down." Then not long after that, he's quick and eager to give what the people want. At the fourth skip, the Narrator says "I'm fixating on every tiny negative thing that anyone ever says about me. The merest mention of one of my imperfections and I become as impetulant as a child. Wild and impulsive; I can't help myself. I can't stop myself from lashing out with a vengeful fury, to alter and to change and to break anything unbroken, if only it pleases this one person who made a single negative comment." 

Criterion seven is described as chronic feelings of emptiness. While his emptiness may not be ‘chronic’ in the traditional BPD sense, the game makes it clear that in the ‘Skip Button Ending,’ each skip lasts longer than the last, potentially leading to emotional numbness. The ending shows the Narrator talking less and less, sounding almost tired at the end of the sixth skip. At skip seven and eight, Narrator is silent, coming back at skip nine, where Narrator just rambles about the reviews of The Stanley Parable, going silent again until the eleventh skip, where he repeats in an empty monotone voice,  “the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never”, which this phrase seems to be a recurring line across the game, implying that The Stanley Parable has no point where it actually ends, as it has infinite playthroughs without an actual goal. 

In conclusion, the Narrator from The Stanley Parable: Ultra Deluxe shows multiple traits associated with Borderline Personality Disorder, such as unstable identity, intense emotional reactions, and a fear of abandonment. While a fictional character can't be formally diagnosed, his behaviors closely mirror real-world experiences of those with the disorder.

[wii-write-stuff]

Got feedback for my rough draft!!!

BPD is a very complex disorder man 😞😞

Sorry I had to go over the 4 page limit 😞😞 /silly

:33

BPD Traits In The Narrator

The Narrator is the player’s guide in The Stanley Parable and The Stanley Parable: Ultra Deluxe. His personality and mood tends to vary depending on the ending the player takes. The Narrator exhibits several traits associated with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD), particularly through his dialogue and reactions in various endings. Using the DSM-5 criteria as a framework, this study will go into depth about how his fear of abandonment, emotional instability, and unstable relationship behaviors manifest throughout the game. 

There are nine criteria for BPD in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fifth Edition (DSM-5), but one only needs to cover at least five to qualify for diagnosis, the list being fear of abandonment, pattern of unstable relationships, identity disturbance, self-damaging impulsivity, self-mutilating behavior, mood instability, feelings of emptiness, difficulty controlling anger, and paranoid ideation. I will only be going over the ones the Narrator appears to cover.

Starting with criterion one, “frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment”. Many of these symptoms take place in the “Skip Button Ending”. In this ending, Stanley is led to a skip button that allows him to skip through the Narrator's monologues. There are eighteen skips in total that gradually drag Narrator to the depths of desperation and loneliness. After the third skip, the Narrator starts to panic over how much time has passed. The end of the dialogue in the fourth skip shows Narrator’s fear of Stanley leaving him alone again with him saying, “Just your decision as to exactly when you're going to make me suffer, to leave me all alone. Surely you will, I don't doubt it. Surely you'll press that button again, leaving me here. And surely you'll put your own desire to see what's next ahead of my need for company, for companionship. Surely you'll not be so moved by my howls of fitful anxiety that you sit with me and just stay here. Oh no, no, no, I know you too well. You'll be leaving me again soon, I can feel it.”

Onto criterion two, “a pattern of unstable and intense interpersonal relationships characterized by alternating between extremes of idealization and devaluation”. This comes off as one of the most recurring symptoms the Narrator expresses throughout the game. A good ending to point out is the "Not Stanley" ending, where he gets worried when Stanley isn't moving. Before that, he also gets mad at the player for "ruining his game", saying "It was the only thing in the world that was mine, and you've run it into the ground." There’s also the “Cold Feet” ending, where the Narrator says things like “I’m sure you’ll survive the jump!”, “Don’t tell me you’re scared; that’s not the Stanley I know!”, and telling Stanley to “do it” over and over again. Once Stanley jumps and falls to his death, the Narrator says “Oops! Looks like I was wrong. How clumsy of me.” Adding on, there is a line the Curator says in the “Museum” ending, which can show his unstable relationships: "Oh, look at these two. How they wish to destroy one another. How they wish to control one another. How they both wish to be free. Can you see? Can you see how much they need one another?"

Criterion three is depicted as “identity disturbance: markedly and persistently unstable self-image or sense of self”. This is shown in the fifth skip, where Narrator says “Because maybe, Stanley, maybe - if you can hear me, then maybe it means I'm real. Maybe I'm not just a fiction.” Though not consistent, this line still shows the Narrator questioning his reality and sense of self. 

Criterion six is “affective instability due to a marked reactivity of mood”. An example of his mood swings is in the "Skip Button" ending, before the skips, where he gets offended at being called "preachy" and then tells Stanley "I feel... like a failure. Like I let these people down." Then not long after that, he's quick and eager to give what the people want. At the fourth skip, the Narrator says "I'm fixating on every tiny negative thing that anyone ever says about me. The merest mention of one of my imperfections and I become as impetulant as a child. Wild and impulsive; I can't help myself. I can't stop myself from lashing out with a vengeful fury, to alter and to change and to break anything unbroken, if only it pleases this one person who made a single negative comment." 

Criterion seven is described as chronic feelings of emptiness. While his emptiness may not be ‘chronic’ in the traditional BPD sense, the game makes it clear that in the ‘Skip Button Ending,’ each skip lasts longer than the last, potentially leading to emotional numbness. The ending shows the Narrator talking less and less, sounding almost tired at the end of the sixth skip. At skip seven and eight, Narrator is silent, coming back at skip nine, where Narrator just rambles about the reviews of The Stanley Parable, going silent again until the eleventh skip, where he repeats in an empty monotone voice,  “the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never”, which this phrase seems to be a recurring line across the game, implying that The Stanley Parable has no point where it actually ends, as it has infinite playthroughs without an actual goal. 

In conclusion, the Narrator from The Stanley Parable: Ultra Deluxe shows multiple traits associated with Borderline Personality Disorder, such as unstable identity, intense emotional reactions, and a fear of abandonment. While a fictional character can't be formally diagnosed, his behaviors closely mirror real-world experiences of those with the disorder.

[wii-write-stuff]

Another old poem, made around June 2024 This one is written by someone in our system. His personal blog is @robbie-rambles

The poem goes into depth about his CSBD (better known as hypersexuality), BPD, and DPD

Light Switch

Tired. Of people telling me To control. To just "Flip the switch".

But the C in CSBD Stands for compulsive I can only avoid People for so long Before breaking down inside It is not An on-off switch.

To turn it off forever I wish I could Then I wouldn't hurt So much To hold back

I've made bad choices Long ago By failing to find other ways To distract Or relieve myself

I regret Every bit Of it

And BPD is hard To understand The fear of Abandonment Clinging to Whoever treats you like A decent person

Emotional instability Constant mood swings Impulsivity Unstable relationships

And wanting to Avoid people Out of fear you'll Hurt them

Or yourself

You never Get a break And it's so hard To explain How one of the Most mentally Excruciating disorders Has yet to have any Known treatment

Not fully.

Then DPD Dependency. The constant need For reassurance And breaking down Not knowing What to do When they're gone

I needed A replacement To ease the pain But nobody Could replace him It was The harsh truth

I hate How I needed them And clung So badly It was hurting The both of us

It's overwhelming It's a mental health Nightmare And it's anything but Easy.

It has never Been an on-off Switch And I wish I could Just turn off The pain.

Nothing Was never enough But it was also Too much.

The pressure The pressure The splitting The cries of pain

Knowing you Cut out someone Important in your life Scared of seeing them Scared of how they'll react

It's all Impulses.

If I could stop I would. If it was all just a Light switch That I could Keep off

Forever

I would.

[wii-write-stuff]

Old ass poem... Originally wrote idk when, but it was at least a year or two ago It's short, but still one of my personal favorites

Many

I am many in this world To certain people I am no more than a daughter To billions I am nobody I know one thing for sure though I will always be many

Many see us as "Vyn" Some may see me as "Alex"

To my parents I am their son To some I am a sibling Even after all these titles I will forever be many

Whether it's just Alex Or Atarax Or Azzy Or Zero Or Ken Or any other

We are many That is what we are

We are not singular We are plural

We are many That is what we are

To the people of this Earth And whatever lies after this body's death No matter what happens

We will always be many That is what we are

[wii-write-stuff]

I HAD TO REWRITE SOME STUFF BUT UMMM

had to get an extra source for this essay...

yea... Here's the rewrite :33

Kill me....

The Narrator is the player’s guide in The Stanley Parable and The Stanley Parable: Ultra Deluxe. His personality and mood tends to vary depending on the ending the player takes. The Narrator exhibits several traits associated with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD), particularly through his dialogue and reactions in various endings. Using the DSM-5 criteria as a framework, this study will go into depth about how his fear of abandonment, emotional instability, and unstable relationship behaviors manifest throughout the game. 

There are nine criteria for BPD in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fifth Edition (DSM-5), but one only needs to cover at least five to qualify for diagnosis. I will only be going over the ones the Narrator appears to cover.

I will be mentioning criterion one, “frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment”, criterion two, “a pattern of unstable and intense interpersonal relationships characterized by alternating between extremes of idealization and devaluation”, criterion three, “identity disturbance: markedly and persistently unstable self-image or sense of self”, criterion six, “affective instability due to a marked reactivity of mood”, and criterion seven, described as is described as chronic feelings of emptiness.

Many of his symptoms take place in the “Skip Button Ending”. In this ending, Stanley is led to a skip button that allows him to skip through the Narrator's monologues. There are eighteen skips in total that gradually drag the Narrator to the depths of desperation and loneliness.

Before the skips, he gets offended at being called "preachy" and then tells Stanley "I feel... like a failure. Like I let these people down." Then not long after that, he's quick and eager to give what the people want. At the fourth skip, the Narrator says "I'm fixating on every tiny negative thing that anyone ever says about me. The merest mention of one of my imperfections and I become as impetulant as a child. Wild and impulsive; I can't help myself. I can't stop myself from lashing out with a vengeful fury, to alter and to change and to break anything unbroken, if only it pleases this one person who made a single negative comment." This can be an example of criterion six, showing the Narrator’s mood swings. It can also be a trait of black and white thinking in BPD, where the person with the disorder thinks in an “all good or all bad” state, given that he says he can’t help but break anything unbroken. 

The third skip can be an example of criterion one, where the Narrator starts to panic over how much time has passed. The end of the dialogue in the fourth skip shows the Narrator’s fear of Stanley leaving him alone again with him saying, “Just your decision as to exactly when you're going to make me suffer, to leave me all alone. Surely you will, I don't doubt it. Surely you'll press that button again, leaving me here. And surely you'll put your own desire to see what's next ahead of my need for company, for companionship. Surely you'll not be so moved by my howls of fitful anxiety that you sit with me and just stay here. Oh no, no, no, I know you too well. You'll be leaving me again soon, I can feel it.” 

Criterion three can be shown in the fifth skip, where Narrator says “Because maybe, Stanley, maybe - if you can hear me, then maybe it means I'm real. Maybe I'm not just a fiction. Was I scared of that all along? Perhaps, yes. Perhaps I've been scared this whole time that if I stop speaking, I'll slip backwards into the silence and be consumed by it. I can't be taken by it, Stanley. I can't lose myself in the stretch of emptiness between you and me. When you press that button, you're still right there, but I know you're so tremendously far away. And in those moments, the emptiness folds itself outward in between the two of us, and I am suspended in its unyielding quietness. I can feel the edges of my reality curdling inward and decaying. I can tell that I am becoming less and less real. Yet to speak to you now, I am alive! I am truly and completely here! I am a being, I am someone, I am something! I am being listened to, I am being recognized! The emptiness between us has collapsed, and I feel, right now, like I am not a work of fiction! I feel as though I occupy space in this world again, and I have cast a shadow onto the wall.” Though not consistent, this line still shows the Narrator questioning his reality and sense of self. 

While his emptiness may not be ‘chronic’ in the traditional BPD sense, the game makes it clear that  each skip lasts longer than the last, potentially leading to emotional numbness similar to the feelings of emptiness in criterion seven.  The ending shows the Narrator talking less and less, sounding almost tired at the end of the sixth skip. At skip seven and eight, the Narrator is silent, coming back at skip nine, where the Narrator just rambles about the reviews of The Stanley Parable, going silent again until the eleventh skip, where he repeats in an empty monotone voice,  “the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never”, which this phrase seems to be a recurring line across the game, implying that The Stanley Parable has no point where it actually ends, as it has infinite playthroughs without an actual goal. While not a criteria, many people send asks to the Tumblr blog “borderline-culture-is” expressing their experiences with BPD, one being repetitive behavior. With the game having no definitive “end”, everything will eventually repeat over and over again.

An example of criterion two is the “Cold Feet” ending, where the Narrator says things like “I’m sure you’ll survive the jump!”, “Don’t tell me you’re scared; that’s not the Stanley I know!”, and telling Stanley to “do it” over and over again. Once Stanley jumps and falls to his death, the Narrator says “Oops! Looks like I was wrong. How clumsy of me.” There’s even the “Countdown Ending”, where the Narrator laughs at Stanley and taunts him while Stanley panics and tries to turn off the time bomb. 

In addition to these criteria, another dynamic present in BPD is the concept of a Favorite Person (FP), which further explains the intensity of the Narrator’s relationship with Stanley. PubMed Central has an article called "Understanding a Mutually Destructive Relationship Between Individuals With Borderline Personality Disorder and Their Favorite Person”. In the article, a BPD’s FP is described as “a person who someone with BPD relies heavily on for emotional support, seeks attention and validation from, and looks up to or idealizes. When referred to as a FP, it goes beyond what other people would generally refer to as their best friend or favorite person. FPs are the object of complete attachment and extreme love from people with BPD. Therefore, those with BPD feel unable to function properly without their FP and fear that their FP will abandon them.” (Jeong, Jin, and Hyun) In The Stanley Parable and The Stanley Parable: Ultra Deluxe, Stanley can be the Narrator’s potential FP. Near the end of the “Not Stanley” ending, the Narrator starts to compare the player to Stanley, and how Stanley is so much better. An example of this idealization is when he says “I asked you for this one single thing - for your respect; the kind of respect Stanley shows for his choices. He knows what it means to take a story seriously.” 

Prior to that, he makes it clear how much he dislikes the player and prefers Stanley, saying things like “Now remember, all you need to do is behave exactly as Stanley would.”, “Ugh! It's ruined! You - I can't believe after everything we talked about that you - My story! You've destroyed my work!”, “I'm still here. Here in this pile of rubbish. With you.”, “Didn't I impress upon you how important it was to be like Stanley?”, and “He actually knows how to do what I tell him to. He understands that if I say to do something, there's a damn good reason for it!” 

Further showing how Stanley can be the Narrator’s FP, the Narrator tells the player “It was the only thing in the world that was mine, and you've run it into the ground.”, and when the screen changes to out of bounds, the Narrator becomes worried, saying “The story needs you. It needs you to make a decision. It cannot exist without you. Do you understand me?” This shows how important Stanley is to the Narrator. The game shows how important the story is to the Narrator and how nothing can get done without Stanley. It even shows in the “Zending” ending, where the Narrator becomes scared when Stanley approaches the set of stairs, despite all the other endings where the Narrator seems unbothered about Stanley dying. With BPD, sometimes the person becomes aware of the pain they’re causing another person, typically their FP, and will feel immense guilt from it. This can be shown in the “Zending” ending when the Narrator says “My god, is this really how much you dislike my game? That you'll throw yourself from this platform over and over to be rid of it? You are literally willing to kill yourself to keep me from being happy? Am I reading the situation correctly?” Adding on, there is a line the Curator says in the “Museum” ending, which can show the Narrator’s unstable relationships and need for Stanley: "Oh, look at these two. How they wish to destroy one another. How they wish to control one another. How they both wish to be free. Can you see? Can you see how much they need one another?"

In conclusion, the Narrator from The Stanley Parable: Ultra Deluxe shows multiple traits associated with Borderline Personality Disorder, such as unstable identity, intense emotional reactions, and a fear of abandonment. While a fictional character can't be formally diagnosed, his behaviors closely mirror real-world experiences of those with the disorder.

BPD Traits In The Narrator

The Narrator is the player’s guide in The Stanley Parable and The Stanley Parable: Ultra Deluxe. His personality and mood tends to vary depending on the ending the player takes. The Narrator exhibits several traits associated with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD), particularly through his dialogue and reactions in various endings. Using the DSM-5 criteria as a framework, this study will go into depth about how his fear of abandonment, emotional instability, and unstable relationship behaviors manifest throughout the game. 

There are nine criteria for BPD in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fifth Edition (DSM-5), but one only needs to cover at least five to qualify for diagnosis, the list being fear of abandonment, pattern of unstable relationships, identity disturbance, self-damaging impulsivity, self-mutilating behavior, mood instability, feelings of emptiness, difficulty controlling anger, and paranoid ideation. I will only be going over the ones the Narrator appears to cover.

Starting with criterion one, “frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment”. Many of these symptoms take place in the “Skip Button Ending”. In this ending, Stanley is led to a skip button that allows him to skip through the Narrator's monologues. There are eighteen skips in total that gradually drag Narrator to the depths of desperation and loneliness. After the third skip, the Narrator starts to panic over how much time has passed. The end of the dialogue in the fourth skip shows Narrator’s fear of Stanley leaving him alone again with him saying, “Just your decision as to exactly when you're going to make me suffer, to leave me all alone. Surely you will, I don't doubt it. Surely you'll press that button again, leaving me here. And surely you'll put your own desire to see what's next ahead of my need for company, for companionship. Surely you'll not be so moved by my howls of fitful anxiety that you sit with me and just stay here. Oh no, no, no, I know you too well. You'll be leaving me again soon, I can feel it.”

Onto criterion two, “a pattern of unstable and intense interpersonal relationships characterized by alternating between extremes of idealization and devaluation”. This comes off as one of the most recurring symptoms the Narrator expresses throughout the game. A good ending to point out is the "Not Stanley" ending, where he gets worried when Stanley isn't moving. Before that, he also gets mad at the player for "ruining his game", saying "It was the only thing in the world that was mine, and you've run it into the ground." There’s also the “Cold Feet” ending, where the Narrator says things like “I’m sure you’ll survive the jump!”, “Don’t tell me you’re scared; that’s not the Stanley I know!”, and telling Stanley to “do it” over and over again. Once Stanley jumps and falls to his death, the Narrator says “Oops! Looks like I was wrong. How clumsy of me.” Adding on, there is a line the Curator says in the “Museum” ending, which can show his unstable relationships: "Oh, look at these two. How they wish to destroy one another. How they wish to control one another. How they both wish to be free. Can you see? Can you see how much they need one another?"

Criterion three is depicted as “identity disturbance: markedly and persistently unstable self-image or sense of self”. This is shown in the fifth skip, where Narrator says “Because maybe, Stanley, maybe - if you can hear me, then maybe it means I'm real. Maybe I'm not just a fiction.” Though not consistent, this line still shows the Narrator questioning his reality and sense of self. 

Criterion six is “affective instability due to a marked reactivity of mood”. An example of his mood swings is in the "Skip Button" ending, before the skips, where he gets offended at being called "preachy" and then tells Stanley "I feel... like a failure. Like I let these people down." Then not long after that, he's quick and eager to give what the people want. At the fourth skip, the Narrator says "I'm fixating on every tiny negative thing that anyone ever says about me. The merest mention of one of my imperfections and I become as impetulant as a child. Wild and impulsive; I can't help myself. I can't stop myself from lashing out with a vengeful fury, to alter and to change and to break anything unbroken, if only it pleases this one person who made a single negative comment." 

Criterion seven is described as chronic feelings of emptiness. While his emptiness may not be ‘chronic’ in the traditional BPD sense, the game makes it clear that in the ‘Skip Button Ending,’ each skip lasts longer than the last, potentially leading to emotional numbness. The ending shows the Narrator talking less and less, sounding almost tired at the end of the sixth skip. At skip seven and eight, Narrator is silent, coming back at skip nine, where Narrator just rambles about the reviews of The Stanley Parable, going silent again until the eleventh skip, where he repeats in an empty monotone voice,  “the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never”, which this phrase seems to be a recurring line across the game, implying that The Stanley Parable has no point where it actually ends, as it has infinite playthroughs without an actual goal. 

In conclusion, the Narrator from The Stanley Parable: Ultra Deluxe shows multiple traits associated with Borderline Personality Disorder, such as unstable identity, intense emotional reactions, and a fear of abandonment. While a fictional character can't be formally diagnosed, his behaviors closely mirror real-world experiences of those with the disorder.

[wii-write-stuff]

Pondering my orbs.

[wii-write-stuff]

Deciding to post more essays I wrote for school.....

This is from like September 2024, so um... kinda old?? It's an old Common App essay, so uhhh (link is just a Google thing explaining what it is)

(read the tw in the notes cause well.. it does very briefly mention some trauma)

Our Plural Experience

In 4th grade, my life took an unexpected turn. It was a time where many of my classmates were into art and I eventually caved in. I got extremely into it and still do it to this day. I’ve created many characters over the years, most of which have formed into alters in my system. The first one to show up was Blair. She was kind, nurturing, and comforting. She would show up to help distract me when my parents were fighting, or yelling at me about my declining grades.

This phenomenon of sharing a body with other people is known as plurality. What I hope to achieve with this is to help lower the stigmatization surrounding DID. Which leads to the question, what is DID, better known as Dissociative Identity Disorder? 

DID in the DSM-5 is described as “the existence in an individual of two or more distinct identities or personalities”. The disorder used to be known to be formed from trauma, however,  the DSM-5 has been revised to state that trauma is no longer a requirement, only dissociation (a heavily zoned out state that is impossible to control) and amnesia are. While it is possible to be a system without trauma, dissociation or amnesia, these are the most common symptoms for someone with DID.

How does this apply to me? As I’ve stated before, my name is Alex. I use he/they pronouns and I’m the host of a DID system. My symptoms started appearing when I was 9 and I am currently 17 years old.

When it first happened, I didn't think much of it . I was too excited, talking to my own characters, who lived in my head! I was so excited, I have a blurry memory of running up to my dad and straight up saying excitedly, “I have people in my brain!” He gave me a weird look while my mom simply brushed it off as a kid having a wild imagination. 

In 5th grade, I experienced many traumatizing things, still all at the young age of 9. From slipping down the stairs and likely spraining my spine (and not being taken to the hospital), to falling off my scooter and the gravel from the driveway digging into my skin (where I was also not taken to a hospital-). The one thing I wish I could look at my younger self and tell her she did not deserve to be touched the way she was.

I was in 8th grade where I found out I was trans and decided I preferred the name “Alex”, but I mainly chose the name to separate who I am now from the 9 year old girl who went through so many things she didn’t deserve. At that time, I also decided to tell some of my friends my experience with people in my brain, and one suggested looking into DID. After 8th grade, I spent most of the summer going into deep research of the disorder, watching many videos by The Rings System on YouTube, which helped me greatly in my journey to learn about plurality. 

As of writing this, it has been 3 years since the start of my journey and I’m still learning, as new terms are coined by the plural community almost everyday. Looking back to where my mom thought all of this was just “childish imagination”, it’s funny how wrong she was. Fast forward 8 years later, these characters are still in my brain.  There are over 160 of us as of now, and I wouldn’t trade the world for them. We are plural, and it's a huge part of our identity I wish to no longer have to hide.

[wii-write-stuff]

[wii-write-stuff]

BPD Traits In The Narrator

The Narrator is the player’s guide in The Stanley Parable and The Stanley Parable: Ultra Deluxe. His personality and mood tends to vary depending on the ending the player takes. The Narrator exhibits several traits associated with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD), particularly through his dialogue and reactions in various endings. Using the DSM-5 criteria as a framework, this study will go into depth about how his fear of abandonment, emotional instability, and unstable relationship behaviors manifest throughout the game. 

There are nine criteria for BPD in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fifth Edition (DSM-5), but one only needs to cover at least five to qualify for diagnosis, the list being fear of abandonment, pattern of unstable relationships, identity disturbance, self-damaging impulsivity, self-mutilating behavior, mood instability, feelings of emptiness, difficulty controlling anger, and paranoid ideation. I will only be going over the ones the Narrator appears to cover.

Starting with criterion one, “frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment”. Many of these symptoms take place in the “Skip Button Ending”. In this ending, Stanley is led to a skip button that allows him to skip through the Narrator's monologues. There are eighteen skips in total that gradually drag Narrator to the depths of desperation and loneliness. After the third skip, the Narrator starts to panic over how much time has passed. The end of the dialogue in the fourth skip shows Narrator’s fear of Stanley leaving him alone again with him saying, “Just your decision as to exactly when you're going to make me suffer, to leave me all alone. Surely you will, I don't doubt it. Surely you'll press that button again, leaving me here. And surely you'll put your own desire to see what's next ahead of my need for company, for companionship. Surely you'll not be so moved by my howls of fitful anxiety that you sit with me and just stay here. Oh no, no, no, I know you too well. You'll be leaving me again soon, I can feel it.”

Onto criterion two, “a pattern of unstable and intense interpersonal relationships characterized by alternating between extremes of idealization and devaluation”. This comes off as one of the most recurring symptoms the Narrator expresses throughout the game. A good ending to point out is the "Not Stanley" ending, where he gets worried when Stanley isn't moving. Before that, he also gets mad at the player for "ruining his game", saying "It was the only thing in the world that was mine, and you've run it into the ground." There’s also the “Cold Feet” ending, where the Narrator says things like “I’m sure you’ll survive the jump!”, “Don’t tell me you’re scared; that’s not the Stanley I know!”, and telling Stanley to “do it” over and over again. Once Stanley jumps and falls to his death, the Narrator says “Oops! Looks like I was wrong. How clumsy of me.” Adding on, there is a line the Curator says in the “Museum” ending, which can show his unstable relationships: "Oh, look at these two. How they wish to destroy one another. How they wish to control one another. How they both wish to be free. Can you see? Can you see how much they need one another?"

Criterion three is depicted as “identity disturbance: markedly and persistently unstable self-image or sense of self”. This is shown in the fifth skip, where Narrator says “Because maybe, Stanley, maybe - if you can hear me, then maybe it means I'm real. Maybe I'm not just a fiction.” Though not consistent, this line still shows the Narrator questioning his reality and sense of self. 

Criterion six is “affective instability due to a marked reactivity of mood”. An example of his mood swings is in the "Skip Button" ending, before the skips, where he gets offended at being called "preachy" and then tells Stanley "I feel... like a failure. Like I let these people down." Then not long after that, he's quick and eager to give what the people want. At the fourth skip, the Narrator says "I'm fixating on every tiny negative thing that anyone ever says about me. The merest mention of one of my imperfections and I become as impetulant as a child. Wild and impulsive; I can't help myself. I can't stop myself from lashing out with a vengeful fury, to alter and to change and to break anything unbroken, if only it pleases this one person who made a single negative comment." 

Criterion seven is described as chronic feelings of emptiness. While his emptiness may not be ‘chronic’ in the traditional BPD sense, the game makes it clear that in the ‘Skip Button Ending,’ each skip lasts longer than the last, potentially leading to emotional numbness. The ending shows the Narrator talking less and less, sounding almost tired at the end of the sixth skip. At skip seven and eight, Narrator is silent, coming back at skip nine, where Narrator just rambles about the reviews of The Stanley Parable, going silent again until the eleventh skip, where he repeats in an empty monotone voice,  “the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never”, which this phrase seems to be a recurring line across the game, implying that The Stanley Parable has no point where it actually ends, as it has infinite playthroughs without an actual goal. 

In conclusion, the Narrator from The Stanley Parable: Ultra Deluxe shows multiple traits associated with Borderline Personality Disorder, such as unstable identity, intense emotional reactions, and a fear of abandonment. While a fictional character can't be formally diagnosed, his behaviors closely mirror real-world experiences of those with the disorder.

[wii-write-stuff]

[inspo]

Was given permission to write this so ummmmmmmm

Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep.

Henry Morris slams his hand on the alarm, just like every other morning at 6 am. But unlike every other morning at 6 am, the middle-aged British man's hand phased through and the alarm kept going. He was glad though that he had finally gotten around to set it to automatically turn off in 5 minutes, thus letting him finish his morning routine.

Henry checked his work notifications while doing all the things he needed to do to look presentable. He may work in a cubicle, but you never know when your boss or someone else in upper management will decide to pay you a visit and he was already written up once for being unpresentable. Despite some hiccups, like the toothbrush falling on the floor and his hair simply not listening and refusing to look nice, he managed to get it all done in 15 minutes, leaving 30 to get to work. It took a bit of trial and error to get a car that he's only for 5 years he got barely used started, but then it was off to work.

Henry checked his work notifications while doing all the things he needed to do to look presentable. He may work in a cubicle, but you never know when your boss or someone else in upper management will decide to pay you a visit and he was already written up once for being unpresentable. Despite some hiccups, like the toothbrush falling on the floor and his hair simply not listening and refusing to look nice, he managed to get it all done in 15 minutes, leaving 30 to get to work. It took a bit of trial and error to get a car started, but then it was off to work.

------

As weird as it was driving to work, what with all the strange looks from passersby, it was nothing compared to the sight at his workplace, Nintendo of America. With the appearance of an average office building, inside was bustling with unusual work.

"How do you delete an email?" One upper management person cluelessly asked an exhausted IT guy next to them, who let out an exasperated sigh before showing the step by step process.

"Can I get help carrying all this?" Another person called out, making a fellow low paid worker have to do something outside of the things they applied to do.

Amongst the chaos, Henry noticed a familiar face: Austin Sanders, his partner in crime. They were hired around the same time and quickly got along. They tried to meet up outside of work once, but because of how long work was all they could think of doing was sleeping together and it just sounded "too gay" for them. As a result, they only did stuff together at work. Henry went over to say hi.

"Do you think we'll get a day off to go to the funeral?" Austin told a fellow coworker by the water dispenser. All three of them laughed loudly at the thought of their higher ups approving of a non-mandated day off. The laughing slowly died down as they looked solemn.

"Seriously though," Austin said, not a hint of the smile that was just there. "I'm going to to miss Henry."

"You were close weren't you?" The coworker asked for clarification. Austin just silently nods as he gets a comforting hug.

Henry just chuckles at the absurdity of this, saying that he's right there and they could stop this horrible prank now because it was scaring him, but it's like no one could hear him. Like he hadn't said anything at all.

He decides to try to get his friend's attention. He waved his hand in front of his face, tapped on his shoulder, even attempted to shake his chair. Henry, in a last ditch effort to get his attention, lunged him... and ended up in the Wii connected to Austin's other monitor.

Jonathan was the first to scream, inciting a widespread panic. The only one not running around screaming like a headless chicken was his friend Austin. The guy who's been with him through thick and thin, the ups and downs this place gave him. The person who know him best, and while his best friend was possessing the Wii in front of him, all Henry saw on his face was fear.

The good news is that it got John's attention when the Wii turned on. The bad news is that it also got everyone else's attention. 

Henry was in the Wii, possessing the Mii he created before he died. The monitor turned on, displaying the Mii Channel. "How the-"

"I can explain," the possessed Mii said, not realizing how deep and distorted his voice got until now. "Or I can at least try."

"Ok," Austin said, stepping back and getting a bit concerned. "What did you do?" Henry stood there, explaining his whole day, not missing a detail, while the man standing just nodded. 

"I think you should go to wherever you live in the afterlife," Henry was told after some thinking. "I don't what that entails, but I'm sure it's not here."

"But what about you?" Austin was asked back, almost shocked by it. "You won't last long without me, will you?" John assures Henry that he'll do his best to stick around for as long as he can. 

Austin stayed after work hours, finishing up some things. He played around in SketchUp, making a tall bald robotic low-poly character. While they played around and chatted, someone snuck behind Austin and killed him. The Mii Henry possessed, Eteled, screamed at the sight of his friend being brutally murdered. It wasn't long before Austin's ghost possessed the 3D modeled character he made.

With some work, Austin found his way into the Wii, using his model as a Mii. 

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And then they kissed. The End. /j 

[wii-write-stuff]

Hi!!

We're Vyn!! We're a P-DID system that loves to write and yap a bunch. So!! We made a whole side blog for our writing!! Since we plan on just completely wiping our stuff from Wattpad in idk how soon But uhhh yeah We want to be more active on Tumblr and might be posting here more than anything else

We often write stories and poems, so that's what this blog will mostly be.

main sys blog: @wii-exist main blog: @queer-little-meow-meow