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wolfythephoenix · 4 days ago

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Describing character details, that doesn't feel like info dumping

First and foremost of all, i have to note that i'm nowhere near an expert, just a hobby writer, who's still learning. But i think i might have some useful information, resource that can help others who happened to need it. Anyways, let's get started!

They always say the phrase ,,show, don't tell", but never say the key information, that there IS such thing as too much information. If you share too much information about EVERYTHING about and around the character, the sheer amount of info dump WILL overwhelm the reader. Just like back in math class, the more information the teacher rushed to squeeze into kids brain within the 45 minutes timelimit, the more confused they were. No need to rush everything in one go. You have to let your readers get to know the characters just as much, as the characters in your story. Especially if you, for example, want to write a twist villain. Add just enough information you feel serve the purpose, and let them slowly learn the rest. And to do that, here are some tips/tricks i use the most often.

The power of colors

Even tho you don't really need to describe every single piece of clothing on your character(s) in details, you can still give a general description of them for your readers. That would help them get a mental image of the character, as well as an unconscious feel of their personality, because of the habit of connecting certain colors to certain feelings/emotions. Here are some examples:

Red: the symbol of love and passion

Green: the symbol of health, nature and harmony Purple: the symbol of imagination, mystery and royalty Yellow: the symbol of joy, warmth and happyness

But wait, doesn't it feel like something is wrong? I haven't mentioned any negative trait for these. Despite that, each and every of these colors have a negative side. Just as everything in the world. Every coin has two sides to it.

Red: anger Green: especially dark green, poison Purple: we often connect purple to dark magic and evil energies Yellow: it can also mean envy (where i live, we have a saying that ,,they're yellow from envy")

Also, the more darker the color is, the more negative feeling they emit, while the more light it is, the more positive they get.

Using colors, and their shades can tell so much about a character. A melancholic widow, who always wears black. An overly enthusiastic, passionate warrior, who'll cover themselfs in flashy red and yellow. A peaceful forest dweller, who hides in green, to be one with nature. The possibilities are endless, and it's up to you how you want to use colors. Will you use them to accurately describe your character? Or will you use it to mislead your readers? The twist villain, who gets rid of their white cloac, to reveal the dark purple underneath. The reserved guy in the back, who's never get picked, who then reveals their true, honest, joyous light colors, once getting to know him.

Here are also some visual examples from my works so far, to show what i mean exactly:

Tighnari (my Genshin fanfic/comic)

Just as in the game, in my fanfic too, he's a more reserved guy, leaving behind the city life, to move in a village, in the forest. As you can see, he mostly wears various greens and browns, with a dash of creamy yellow. No harsh colors that scream in your face ,,LOOK AT MEEEEEE", no. Just the calm, but colorful colors of nature. Indicating a calm, collected, reserved natured character, whom you feel like you can put your trust in. And this nature also shows with every of his actions too, with always ready to help out others who need it from the backstage, and also teaching others.

Cyno (my Genshin fanfic/comic)

Both in game, and in my fanfic, the guy holds a ton of mysteries behind his intimidating, dark exterior. Dark purple, almost black, jacket to hold the mysteries, and to also cast a dark aura around the character, combined with the arm -and shoulder guards an the bulletproof vest, all just tell ,,don't mess with me". If the contrasting, unnatural ghostly white hair and red eyes wouldn't be enough of a sign already. Despite the rough, dark exterior however, it all hides much lighter shades of purple, still holding some mystery, but much friendlier to the look. While the dark, intimidating exterior helps in his work in catching and/or intimidaing criminals, the lighter internal layer shows a much calmer side of his everyday life. For his close ones.

Akuma (my w.i.p. fantasy novel ,,Akaruma")

Melancholic black and dark greys all over his figure, that tells a story about nothing but grief and mourning. Mourning of a life he couldn't -and will never have. With the only color decorating his appearance, is a really vibrant red. But once getting to know him, will one realise, it's but a practical choice, nothing more. A desparate attempt. Meanwhile the black helps him to blend into the darkness of the night, hiding him away from a forever unwelcoming world, the dash of vibrant red helps him in locating his belongings, as the vision of his eyes slowly but surely blur into nonexistance.

Descriptions that show the character's personality

It's also helpful if you use other character's POV to describe the desired character. This both helps you in easing the job, and also shows the reader, how others see them. Are they intimidated by them? Or are they down right scared to death? Are they misunderstood? Or are they holding up a mask towards others, so they can hide their true self? Here are some examples:

,,As she gets closer, she can see his whole body's build and contours. Tall? Check. Black hair? Check. Black and red cloack? Check, thrown on the floor with a black sweater and a gray shirt. Tho the young man himself is more like creepy, than weakling. At least, Kalulah is wary of him just by the look of him. It's not just his height. It's more like…everything. His whole appearance. His well-built, scar covered, glinting from a few sweat droplets, bodystructure, the red rope, that ties his black hair, the fact that he's able to stay in that position with only one hand […]"

(Akuma from Kalulah's POV, very first run-in)

"[…] long hair, that reflects the night sky's darkness. Tiny, orange- and yellow colored feathers crowning the female figure's hairline, and two bigger feathers sticking out around her ears. She has a warm, gentle, welcoming smile, that immidiatly eases his every bit of sadness he had temporarly started to feel."

(??? from Akuma's POV as a baby)

,,Huge, majestic wings, with one tucked behind his back, and the other caressing the female from behind. Tiny feathers crowning his hairline, like an actual crown, made from flames. He has a melancholic, but gentle smile, with scars all over his well-built body."

(??? from Akuma's POV, as a baby)

,, […] strange shadow in front of him. It's not his, it's a grown up's shadow, he thinks to himself. And as the stranger, who's casting the shadow clears his throat, both he and Namur spins around, to face a...not so happy Cyno, with crossed arms."

(a troublemaker kid's POV of Cyno, first encounter)

,,He heard stories about Sumeru's ruthless General, the General, who's always wears an emotionless face. Who, when it comes to criminals and wrong doers, is unstoppable at serving justice. Who, even has to tell horrible jokes, just to not scare his own colleagues. And yet, the very General is now on his knees, helping the boy pick up the pieces of a, from a point of view of a man of his rank, worthless project. Even took the effort to actually hear him, a random boy, out."

(a bullied kid's POV of Cyno, first encounter"

,,She's the embodiment of life itself." ,,It's like hearing little chimes in harmony. Just a soft, pure, angelic laughter, to which the General just cracks a half smile."

(Nilou from Cyno's POV)

,,Not to mention, he's probably not even interested, given the workload his duty puts on him and his overall work-centered mindset. They're really blessed with him, that's for sure." ,,You keep connecting sand to death. The end of an era. The forever remaining force, that keeps long gone civilizations hidden away from praying eyes."

(Cyno from Nilou's POV)

Or you can use the power of being the narrator, to describe your character. But remember, only detail what's necessary for your storytelling, for painting a picture of your character.

For example, in my fanfic/comic, Cyno is more aggressive, and all of his combat actions resemble the fury of a wolf. A relentless, powerful hunter. And so, the words to describe his actions are also reflecting that.

,,Not a single soul around aside from him and his pray, who couldn't have picked more perfect place for Cyno. For his hunting ground." ,,Cyno intentionally letting his feet crash a piece of trash on the ground, so his victim would notice it. And so he did. Looking left and right, but because of the flickering light of the -now off-service- marketing-screen and mostly dark alleyway, he can't see much. But soon enough, he jolts from the sound of something scraping on the wall." ,,His pray is surely cocky, they've stepped right into Cyno's personal hunting territory." ,,He can easily trap his pray, as they trying to find a way out."

Or, Reijin from my w.i.p. novel. A grieving man, who just recently lost his child, and so, every of his actions are reflecting grief and sorrow. But also, the care and gentlness of a father.

,,His steps are really slow and heavy, hunched over slightly, with a bucket in hand, and a face that shows nothing but grief and sorrow." ,,He kneels down to the edge of the calm river, his miserable face looking back at him." ,, […] he takes off his jacket, leaving him with only a thin layer of shirt on in the freezing cold. But he doesn't care, right now, this kid needs warmth more than he does. Then, he gently wraps up the boy with the jacket, carefully taking him in his arms, and starts to rush back to his home […]" ,, […] despite the winged man's melancholic expression, he sences a similar warmth and gentlness as from his dreams […] " ,,This winged man went out of his way, showing, proving that those stuff won't hurt him, and even using much easier words, that he now mostly understood finaly."

Or Akuma, still well within his teen years, but already beaten down by the cruelty of fate.

,,The very child, who is now can be considered a teenager. But without the natural rebellion and youthful fire of one. Instead, what radiates from him is the calmness, melancholy and exhaustion of a grown adult man. The end product of human cruelty. But this does not mean, he'll back down. No, he's too curious and got blessed with a strong willpower for giving up that easily."

If you have a character with animal features, like tail, ears or horns, you can also incorporate those! For example, here are the ways i've incorporated Tighnari's fox features:

Tail: i use his tail in 2 ways, one is to show his emotions, and the other is just a simple little detail he does unconsciously.

Here are how his tail tells his emotions, even if we don't see his face:

neatural/confident: upright

happy: wagging it all around

annoyed: fluffed up, like in an Anime

sad: either draging behind his leg, or curled around him (Note: he also curls it around him, when he's on the motorcycle alone, so it won't get covered in dirt that much.)

bonus: He's also wrapping his tail around the ones he's close to:

Ears: it's pretty self-explainatory, the more it gets lowered, the more sad he is.

neatural: fully up, or a bit tilted rotated to the side

got an idea/peaked interest: perks up a little

little sad/confused: ears slightly lowered to the side, or to the front (Note: if something is above him, he obviously also has to lower his ears.)

very sad/full-on depressed: flopped behind his head

Little habits, personal ,,rituals"

It also can be helpful, if your character has any kind of habit. A nevrous habit. A unique way of speaking to different people. An oddly specific routine. Maybe they're strangely obsessed with cleaning. Maybe they have the habit of picking their nails, when feeling nervous. Maybe they can't fall asleep until they've read a page of that one book, that's completely uninteresting to others. Maybe, even when preparing for an assasination mission, they'll feed their kitty every single time. Maybe they always put their stuff on a very specific spot.

This can not only show the reader the character's personality and values, but also make them think, why do they stick to those habits? Especially if it's a really strange one. Why do they do that? Is that just them being weird, or does it have a deeper meaning behind it?

As an example, in my w.i.p. novel, Akuma has 2 very specific habits. One is always, in every given situation, keeping his clothing and other stuff within his reach, and in a specific spot; and the other is always making sure he has at least some sweets with him. The former one is due to his already bad eyesight, that's progressively gets worse over time (that's also why he's got some vibrant colored parts on his clothing, so he can find them easier), and the latter one is to combat the forever-lasting taste of blood in his mouth.

Changes

Changes can also be powerful, when it's built up right. A sudden change in their habit. Progressively messier hair, or overall appearance. A sudden change in apetite. Suddenly, they're not interested in whatever they were before. To achieve the desired effect, you first need to establish their ,,norm" before, by incorporating those details into their actions. And then, if they suddenly stop those, not just the characters, but the readers too, will feel that something isn't right.

As an example, Akuma has a strong interest in learning new things, and likes to eat. So, when he suddenly stops being interested in learning, and stops eating, you KNOW something's up.

Another example is that in my Genshin fanfic/comic, Cyno is normally altho a bit impulsive, but not blood-thirsty. So, when his power gets unleashed for too long, and it gets too much in control, we can also see and feel it. He's becoming more and more aggressive, more and more forgetting to plan out everything beforehand. It's an eerie contrast between an intimidating, calculated hunter, and an erratic, blood thirsty wild animal.

Welp, that's all i can think of right now that i know, hopefully it was to any help at all! ^ ^

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