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[wordbirds]

MacGiftin (n) muh-GIFT-in Like a MacGuffin—an irrelevant device in Hitchcock films (et al.) that pops up just to jolly along the audience—a MacGiftin is an unwanted gift that you must prominently display whenever its bestowers visit. Usage: “Aunt Ida just called, she and Uncle Max are dropping by.” “Oh god, we’ll have to bring out the McGiftin— that hideous Kinkade painting they gave us. Where did we stow it?”

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NONBURGER

NON-bur-gur ( N.) Word to use for a meatless hamburger that tastes and looks (pretty much) like a hamburger made of beef, but contains no animal proteins. Also may be used as adj. to describe the ground product used in cooking, available in grocery stores (and in Impossible Tacos and Bowls at Qdoba and Taco Bell.)  Usage: Joel ate a nonburger and fries at Burger King (the Impossible Whopper, they called it) and wondered when McDonald’s would start serving its version, the P.L.T. That night, at home, he made nonburger chili for dinner.

‡ For 200 other useful, illustrated 21st-century coinages, check out Wordbirds, on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/Wordbirds-Irreverent-Lexicon-21st-Century/dp/1982104481/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1576848737&sr=8-1

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[to] Goldstein

GOLD-styne (V.) To transform a political foe into a supernatural focus of hatred and fear, in order to increase loyalty and submission to yourself—as Big Brother did with Emmanuel Goldstein in Orwell’s 1984. Usage: Trump Goldsteined Hillary Clinton during the 2016 presidential campaign, turning her into a rabble-rousing, all-purpose scapegoat and a fundraising money-spinner. Gearing up for the 2020 campaign, he began to Goldstein the controversial Democratic Muslim Congresswoman Ilhan Omar, too. But he did not stop Goldsteining Clinton. —§For other useful new coinages, check out the Wordbirds book—§

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GRINCE

(V.)  Pronounced: GRINTS  To give a weak smile, halfway to a wince, upon unwrapping a present that does not delight you—in an attempt to avoid offending the gift giver. (Also may be used as N.) Usage: Louella excitedly tore open the giant package from her Aunt Nilda, only to grince  in disappointment when she discovered it was a snow shovel.  “How thoughtful!” she exclaimed brightly, crestfallen.

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SUMMUMN

(N.) (SUM-um) That in-between season, not strictly summer, not quite autumn, when it’s weird to wear sandals but too warm for boots; too hot for a jacket by day, too cool for shirtsleeves alone at night. USAGE: Jules shivered in her cotton dress as she rode the L train home. She wanted summumn to end already and proper fall to begin, so she wouldn’t need a costume change to weather each day’s temperature swings.

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TWIRIDE ZONE (the)

N. (TWY-ryd zohn) The place where the Uber, Via, Lift, Juno or other ride service you ordered has disappeared to, when the app says it’s 1 minute away, but the car fails to appear for 5, 10, or however many minutes—if it appears at all. USAGE: ”Clark, where ARE you? We’re all on the dock waiting for you!” “Sorry, it’s not my fault, my Uber’s in the twiride zone- it’s been saying it was 2 minutes away for ten minutes now...”

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SHVITZARD

(N) SHVITZ-urd  A day of extreme summer heat, humidity and sun that is so flattening and debilitating that it might as well be a blizzard. USAGE: In the first weeks of September, New York was hit by a powerful shvitzard, with day after day of blinding sun, temperatures in the 90s, and humidity so high that air conditioners could barely function. Those who attempted to go out in the shvitzard quickly learned their folly.

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SPART

(N.) SPART  (pl. sparts) Name for those who put themselves at risk to denounce abuse of power. A shortening of the name Spartacus– the gladiator who led a slave rebellion against the power-hungry real-estate mogul Crassus (who ruled the Roman empire along with Caesar and Pompey in the First Triumvirate, in the first century BC). USAGE: During the Trump presidency, a succession of sparts emerged, who put themselves in the firing line to defend democracy--from James Comey to Colin Kaepernick, to William McRaven, Corey Booker, and even a member of Trump’s inner circle, who published an anonymous call to alarm in the New York Times.

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SOCCER SPRAY

(N.) SOK-kur spray. (Figurative) A magical panacea, which, like the aerosol unguents sprayed on hobbled soccer players, instantly restores the ailing to vigor, or more broadly, fixes something that’s broken. Usage: “Did you see? The giant oak fell onto the Millers’ garage in the storm.” “Yup. It’s gonna take more than soccer spray to fix that one.”

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Red-Hen

red-HEN (v.) To red-hen is to publicly confront an off-duty member of the Trump administration in a public place, usually a restaurant. (A political nonce word, like “Borkability.”) USAGE: As news spread of the Trump policy of separating children from asylum-seeking parents on the U.S.- Mexico border, citizens began confronting Trump coterie members in public, from presidential press secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders, who was ejected from the Red Hen restaurant in Virginia; to Homeland Security head Kirstjen Neilsen, and White House adviser Stephen Miller, who were both red-henned as they dined on Mexican food in at a D.C., to EPA head Scott Pruitt, who was red-henned a week later, as he ate tacos at another D.C. eatery.

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LEGIBLE CLOTHING

(phrase) LEH-dzhuh-bul KLO-ðing Clothing with words printed on it that are meant to be read as a message. Usage: In the 70′s, a fad emerged for legible clothing, like T-shirts with the words “I’m With Stupid→” or “Keep on Truckin’” printed on them.  The trend continues today, as evidenced by the First Lady’s “I Really Don’t Care, Do U?” jacket.

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KINDERKRIEG

(N) KIN-dur-kreeg A war that uses children to achieve its strategic aims. From the German, Kinder (children) + Krieg (war). In the pattern of Blitzkrieg, a “lightning” campaign waged suddenly and with overwhelming force. Usage: In 2018, the Trump administration launched a kinderkrieg on the southern border of the United States, forcibly separating children from parents in an attempt to strongarm funding for the border wall and to intimidate asylum seekers.

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FIFAKER

FIFAKER (n) fee-FAKE-ur One who declares intense interest in the World Cup, but has no real knowledge of soccer, and likely cannot name a single player or team. Usage: “Oh my god, hurry, find the remote—the Croatia-Peru match is about to start! ” “You fifaker! Peru just lost to Denmark! Ten bucks you don’t know who Croatia’s playing...”

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HUSHSLUSH

(N.) HUSH-slush  A slush fund set up on behalf of a compromised individual to pay off those who possess damaging information on that individual, to secure their silence. Usage: On May 8, 2018, Michael Avenatti, the lawyer for the porn star Stormy Daniels, alleged that a Russian oligarch had paid $500,000 into the hushslush the lawyer Michael Cohen kept for his client Donald Trump.

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Reefer-creep

(N.) The phenomenon by which people who are not smoking marijuana are rendered stoned by pot smoke or vapor spreading through their building walls, or wafting from nearby groups of tokers. “James,” said the partner, “What’s with you? Are you even listening?” “So sorry,” said James, red-eyed. “The artists who moved into the office next to my mine smoke pot all day, and the reefer-creep gets me, well... stoned.”

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BANALPHABET (n.)

‪(n): bah-NAL-fa-bet. One who, illiterate or not, finds reading boring or beside the point. ‬(May also be used as adj.) Usage: President Trump, a typical banalphabet, gets nearly all his information from TV, screens and conversation, and rarely reads newspapers, books, or anything at all on paper.

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PLTT

(Acronym) PEE-ell-tee-tee  PLTT is shorthand for “Post-Literate, Total-Television”—a growing trend describing people who can read, but don’t;  choosing to get their information from television, video and smartphone screen. Taken from Michael Wolff’s 2018 book “Fire and Fury: Inside the Trump White House.” Usage:  Word is that President Trump hardly reads at all, he is PLTT, “Post-Literate, Total Television,” and prefers to get his news through television, video, phone screen, and conversation.