#and then need to go back and retcon some shit

[markundermark]

"All Stories are the same, and they must be the same."

MINKOWSKI-PLACEHOLDER RETCON EXCLUSION GENERATOR

or MPREG for short

A concept for an eigenmachine based on the events and ideas of the ADMONITION canon.

Mainly did it because it was a funny joke

Tap for a better view btw :D

See Below for sloppy technobabble

Oh you're actually here? Holy shit

So to get things straight, I'm no author, nor really good with words if I'm being honest, but I AM DEEPLY OBSESSED WITH EIGENMACHINES

MPREG in my head is actually just a secondary part for a much much larger thing within Project Anaximenes, yes, well they took Anaximander already so why not grab the similarly named guy

ANYWAYS

what's Project Anaximenes?

This is not real I JUST NEED TO SCREAM THIS BECAUSE I WROTE TOO MUCH FOR A FUNNY MPREG EIGENMACHINE JOKE

Project Anaximenes is a Project proposed by PHMD along with the cooperation of Site-17 and Pilcrow-Minkowski Multidisciplinary Division to basically breach into the storyline themselves and rewrite canon.

And they'll expect that the authors and readers of their narrative will counter this and thus create MPREG, a way to isolate their narrative from alterations whilst keeping their alterations intact.

The ideal narrative anchor.

I haven't made the narrative rewriting machine yet... And maybe never will :3

Anyways HERE'S THE BABBLE PART

P.M.C. Multidisciplinary Division employed different parts of the remaining hyperspecific applied metaphysical departments around the Foundation to basically conceptualize and construct the 2 machines for Project Anaximenes.

The person who designed it, is Director Renan Minkowski, Applied Metaphysician and the Head of Eigenmechanics, and yes Applied Metaphysics gotten employed to make Eigenmachines so much they have a whole division for that now

ANYWAYS REAL BABBLE TIME

What this entire thing is basically a giant metaphysical narrative gyroscope, you know how the Hero's Journey goes on a loop? Well what if you spin that cycle really really fast, maybe so fast that any alterations, any deviations, would just kick it back up to stability until it loses momentum

Narrative Momentum, "momentum" is basically an idea in storytelling I somewhat thought about, which is basically the sequence of events that keeps the story going, no gaps, no fillers, all relevant information to all the cycles of the monomyth, and if you keep that momentum up, you wouldn't be able to break it with a continuity change.

And this shit abuses the hell out of causality because of that.

Now to the specifics

This is basically converting Narrative potential, to Narrative momentum

Where do you get narrative potential?

Well... I wouldn't saaaayy.... Because it's very unethical sourcing but let's just say there's a certain group holding upon a certain narrative archetype that usually holds out such big protagonistic potential due to... Lets say unfortunate circumstances, and since this group is basically young... They don't have those energies released

And you can harvest those

And you can accelerate those narrative energies with a fate accelerator of some sort, or kismekinetic force

Transformed into a static normal narrative

And the narrative forces drive a differential forward

And spins the narrative gyroscope around

Wouldn't that be funny?

[soupandsorcery]

me, constantly reminding myself that i'm writing an AU so i can do whatever i want and it doesn't have to line up exactly with canon

[greyswarden]

guys im actually a bit (cautiously) excited for v.eilguard (still hasn’t finished inquisition)

[hexhomos]

The 'Talis' hypothesis

So I think the S2 trailer confirms something central about Arcane I've wondered for a while. This has plot bearings to it, namely what nebulous purpose 'Magic' serves in the story -- how they're changing the role Hextech has in the game lore, incl. its power system & ruleset -- and what kind of hubris is associated with it historically. But it also answers something that has always nagged at me: why the fuck did they change Jayce's name?

So let's talk about this picture. And I'm going to give you the rosetta stone in 5 seconds:

This is Hextech now. Like that is just an incredibly concise and complete descriptor of Hextech-in-Arcane, right. It 'harms' Jinx, it 'protects' Jayce in the snowstorm, it 'heals' Viktor to a degree. It is installed permanently in architecture; the Hexgates ARE the brand.

First off, we have this fucker carrying around a talisman from back when he was 7, and the cinematography of the show agonizes over showing you this throughout all of ep2:

Jayce's bracelet is a bang-on definition of a historical talisman. The way hextech *functions* in the show is inextricable from the promises and rites associated with talismans, a word appropriated/popularized by the French - which I'm going to conservatively argue Fortiche would be familiar with;

Which brings me to the subject of what Hextech is, and how Hextech was changed for the tv show (and what its possibly being retconned to in the game)

Hex'tech' is not technology. The name is a carryover from a bygone era of leagueoflegends speak; Hextech in Arcane, and presumably in expanded lore going forward (given Skarner's rework and other things) - is the study, development, and the building of an industry around the craft of practical Talismans. If you want to understand how this shit works you need to promptly abandon the assumption that it is 'manufactured' magic -- its pure magic. It's raw magic. The tech part is a red herring misnomer.

The beliefs around this already cover links to 'the Arcane' as another, ethereal destination realm with Inhabitants that learn and change, ontop of rune-carving as magical instruction;

This also covers Viktor's impending transformation and the changes made to his character.

IN MY OPINION, via the content released so far and what we've already witnessed in S1, Viktor has been shifted away from becoming 'the machine herald' and re-positioned to become the Herald of Divine Rune Alchemy or whichever name they end up using.

I don't doubt that he'll get the armor at some point, because that's a recognizable visual and as much fanservice as they owe his decade-long fans, but... I would temper my expectations around the thought of machine evolution. It's not what this Viktor does, and it's not what he (or the narrative,) is interested in -- My guess is that the armor comes into play as a secondary way to AVOID overusing limited magical power, as we've seen runes can be depleted, and the hexcore tends to kill things in exchange.

Now that we've established all that, here is the bridge that I'm going to sell you.

Now, for today's homework, I expect you to run off to do something useful and homoerotic with this information.

[lizaintheduster]

Oh my god, the idea that God keeps bringing Cas back because he thinks Dean moping around the bunker is boring is so funny. Like the first two times God brings him back, he does it right away cause he's like, "This freaky lil Angel is pretty interesting to have around. Let's throw him back into the mix." But then when he betrays Dean and dies in season 6/7, at first Chuck is just sipping Mojitos and luxuriating in the man pain, but then the man pain just. doesn't. stop. And fuck that's boring, Dean just won't stop moping.

So fuck it, let's give Cas amnesia and some weird wife, he won't have to be plot relevant anyway cause obviously he'll take on Sam's hell trauma, boom two birds, one stone. Now we can get back to the brothers brothering. Except fuck, somehow Cas has wound up going to purgatory with Dean, ugh lame. Well, let's just give Cas a few nightmares that really play into his self-loathing, that should be enough to get him to stay behind, the self-deprecating sad sack. But shit, didn't think this through, Dean's out and he's already looking pretty mopy.

No worries, just gotta push Naomi in the right direction, just a little nudge, there we go. Cas is back, but with a tasty little twist of Heaven mind control to keep him out of the narrative. Excellent. Screw it. Maybe Naomi could even get him to turn on Dean? Dean could kill him, that would be awesome. Wait, why the hell isn't Dean fighting back? Get off your knees! Cas can't kill Dean, that's lame, I'll have to think of some way to bring him back... wait, wait what? Did he just snap out of Angel programmed mind control? Oh for fuck sake, this is gonna be such a pain in the ass.

Blah blah, several more seasons of trying to keep Dean and Cas apart including having Gadreel fall near the hospital, retconing how Reapers work so one can try to take out Cas, pointing that weird pink Goo Angel in a Cas shaped direction, having it so that stolen grace is a thing that drains away, but nothing is God Damn Taking. The Angel is still up and kicking, and for some reason, Dean seems hung up on the broken little thing.

Right, time for mental warfare. If just the right digs are made at just the right times, maybe, maybe the Angels self esteem will drop low enough to... that's it. There it is. Say yes to Lucifer. Another betrayal, right, Dean? Right, Dean? Dean? Oh for crying out loud he's not even dead! Dean get over it, he said yes to Lucifer, he sucks Dean, why do you care? Ugh fine, let's say Amara's juice blasts Lucifer out of Cas, happy now? Fuck he's so boring when he's worried about what? A defective Angel?

Whatever, let's just throw some random side quests at them for a while. Surely, Dean will just lose interest eventually. Oh! Idea! Trap Dean and Sam in a government facility and then sabotage every attempt the Angel makes to save them. Again, two birds, one stone. Cas will feel useless and pathetic for failing to save Dean, and Dean will surely realise what a useless waste of celestial intent Cas is.

Okay, at this point, I should have seen this coming. Oh, thank me, Lucifer kebabed him. Light show, big burnt out wings for dramatic effect. This time, let's just wait it out. Dean can't stay single minded, drunk and hung up on Cas forever. Eventually, he'll realise he needs to step up to the plate and start parenting the Angel kid, I have some amazing Abraham and Issac stuff lined up, so we need to get moving with the bonding. Any minute now. Any minute now. Come on Dean, he's not even that strong anymore, why do you care? Jesus Christ Dean, you know your mom is also dead, right?

Screw it. Let's say Jack's powers can reach the empty. Shit does this mean I need to figure out how the empty works? I never got round to writing any of that. Okay, wow that was a choice, maybe I'll retcon the accent later... let's just focus on getting Cas back to earth, so Dean... aaaaand Dean has it wearing a fucking cowboy hat. How, out of all my universes did this glitch wind up infecting the original. Should have let the Angel just stay dead that first time, would have made my life so much easier.

Well, it's the final hour, might as well get one last hit in. Let's kill off the alternate universe people first, that should be just the right push to... perfect, yep, Dean blames death, and of course, Cas will follow. Hook line and sinker. I'll just let Death kill Cas, and then I'll have Death's weird poison thing wipe her out at the last second so Dean's still around for the end game. Oh? Oh, no way? You have got to be kidding me. This is priceless. He's actually saying it? That's the money shot right there. Wow. I need a margarita. Oh, but wait. Idea! Wouldn't it be perfect, just perfect, if Dean's childhood selective mutism were to make the briefest reappearance. Just for a second. Ahhh. You have outdone yourself, Chuck. No more revivals, Dean. I'm already bored.

[daydreamerwonderkid]

Me, after doing 15 minutes of excessive googling on every Batfam member's birthday only to then realize I've accidentally missed the majority of them this year, and then also finding out that people are still aggressively debating over whether Bruce's birthday is April 7 or February 19, Dick's birthday happens 3-6x throughout the year, and Stephanie might have just popped into existence for all that DC cares:

Batfam birthday dates btw for anyone who needs them are listed beneath the cut:

DISCLAIMER: DC is notorious for being super inconsistent with everything and I am a mere tadpole caught in the tidal wave of DC's ocean. This post will be regularly updated with edits and corrections so please do not use it as word of law, I am begging you.

Update (8/24/23): To keep things more simple and easier for everyone I am going to start categorizing the birth dates I've collected into 3 categories.

-Most popular: Self-explanatory. These are the birth dates that have been canonized and confirmed by DC and are also more wildly celebrated by the fandom. Typically, this should be the first result you see when you google the character's birthday. But not always because DC sucks ass.

-Other date(s): These are the additional birth dates I come across that have been canonized in some form with multiple sources, but are not as wildly celebrated or popularized by DC and/or the fandom. Why am I including them here? Mostly because I don't want people coming in saying I forgot a date. But also because if I have to see this mess, then y'all have too as well.

-Potential but unconfirmed date(s): This is where I will put all the other additional dates I find, but specifically those that are lacking in complete sources or seem to be highly debated and scrutinized.

Also fun emoji ranking guide for me and me alone:

👑👑: Queen Shit. Characters with a consistent and simple birth date(s). Can absolutely do no wrong.

👑😮‍💨: In the Running. Characters who don't have a set birth date, but the mess is minor and completely DC's fault. They shouldn't have to be punished for DC's crimes.

🤡🤡: Gtfo. Shit is so inconsistent and stupidly messy that it's making me lose my shit. I'm putting DC and the characters on trial for this bullshit.

👑Alfred Pennyworth👑

Most popular: August 16

Other date(s): April 8 and March 31

(I think it'd be hella cute if Jason and Alfred shared a bday. But if you keep scrolling through the rest of the list, you'll see that August is kind of an overcrowded bday month for the Batfam.

Depending on what you prefer, though, I still think Alfred's worth being celebrated. Lord knows he deserves a special day for himself)

(Update ((8/24/23)): No big inconsistencies between these dates. I just thought it would be fun to provide some info on why Alfred has two canonical birthdates.

So the reason August 16 is viewed as the most popular is for two main reasons. One, obviously, is that he shares a birth date with Jason Todd. So many fans latch onto this date because of how sweet it is for them to share a birthday together.

The second reason has to do with the origin of the birth date. This is because of the more recent retcon that was made by the prequel comic to the Injustice: Gods Among Us video game that was published in 2013. There is a panel in the comic that shows Alfred's birth certificate in full detail from his full name, his place of birth, etc.

As for April 8, this specific date technically has more history compared to August 16. Fans will cite that April 8 was the official date selected by DC according to their Super DC Calendar back in 1976 (which btw was made in 1975).

Compared to August 16 and April 8, however, March 31 oddly enough isn't that popular or recognized by DC or the majority of the fandom. The reason March 31 does come up is because March 31, 1943 was the date when Alfred made his first appearance in the comics, one day after Bruce/Batman)

🤡Bruce Wayne🤡: Hey. Hey, DC, look at me. Bitch.

Most popular: February 19 or April 7

Other date(s): April 25, May 27, March 30, "October," October 7, and "November"

(It looks like most people go with February 19, but don't come at me if you're a April 7 truther. I'm just existing)

(Update ((8/20/23)): I'm gonna shoot somebody. So after doing a little bit more research, I came across-you'd never guess it-even more conflicting info on when Bruce's birthday is supposed to take place.

While April 7 and February 19 are still popular days for fans to celebrate Batman's bday, March 30 is also considered a popular date due to March 30, 1939 being the day Detective Comics #27 ((the issue Batman debuted in)) was put on shelves.

HOWEVER, even Batman's debut is contested to actually be May 27, 1939 because despite the fact that Detective Comics #27 first appeared to the public on March 30, 1939, the cover issue depicted May 27, 1939 instead.

This is because it was a popular practice for comics publication houses to falsify their cover dates as a way to give the impression that the latest issue was newer than it actually was. So if you really, really wanna get super fucking technical about it ((and I know there are some of you out there who do)), Batman may have debuted on March 30, but the cover-issue date was May 27 so, yes, I guess Bruce could have been a May baby instead.

I hate it here.

Oh, and to make matters more complicated, let's discuss the issue of April 7 vs April 25. So the reason April 7 is a popular bday for Bruce is because the original 1930-40s run just outright stated that April 7 was his birthday. Simple enough.

So what does April 25 have to do with this? Well, that's because technically-I think I hate that word now btw-Batman didn't get his own solo comic until April 25, 1940. If you want to go by April 25 because of this logic, however, that means that you'd have to share Bruce's birthday with the Joker. Because guess what? That's also the exact date that the Joker debuted.

I'm personally not a huge fan of Bruce and the Joker sharing a bday. Mostly just because the dates are clearly already complicated enough. But also I feel like April 25 is just known as the Joker's bday at this point, at least in the DC fandom. And Bruce has so many options at this point that it'd be kinda silly to make them share a bday.

As for the "sometime in October" and "sometime in November" additions, we have Batman The Animated Series and Frank Miller's "Batman: Year One" to thank for those extremely vague options.

BTAS Bruce states that his birthday is "sometime in October" and "Batman: Year One" Bruce is responsible for "sometime in November." I repeat: I hate it here.

So when is Bruce's actual birthday? Well, the latest change that DC has "officially" made was the February 19 retcon during the 1970-80s. When a fan sent a question into Detective Comics about Bruce's birthday, the answer given was "February 19" in the letter column. Issue #494, to be exact.

And the reason this answer was given? Because the Super DC Calender for 1976 (again made in 1975) said so.

However, there are still people who prefer to celebrate his bday on April 7 or March 30 instead. And there's also a question floating around if the New 52 run could potentially retcon Bruce's bday AGAIN at some point in the future.

I. Hate. It. Here.

Personally, I liked February 19 because then Alfred could maybe have the month of April to himself. But after seeing all this new info, I'm just sort of resigned to whichever date that the fandom prefers. Y'all can decide. I don't have any energy left.

Also, I can't believe I have to accuse Bruce of having possibly taught Dick his bday scam. Just .... wow).

(Update ((8/24/23)): Well, DC did it to me again. I found this extra little tidbit while googling the Super DC Calendar for Alfred, actually.

So Issue #10 of the 2021 Legends of the Dark Knight decided to give the BTAS's "sometime in October" an actual sometime.

How do I feel about yet another Bruce Wayne bday retcon? Honestly, I think I'm moving closer and closer to just a bland state of acceptance at this point. Tbh, I don't think all these retcons actually matter that much in the end. DC is gonna keep being DC.

Which is annoying. But Idk I'm personally gonna stick with February 19. No shade to you if you prefer any of the other dates. I just like February 19 more than the others)

👑Kate Kane👑

Most popular: March 21

Other date(s): January 26

(So ... where to start to with this one?

Well the official DC canon birth date for Kate Kane is listed as March 21. That being said, if you were to google Kate's birthday right now, you might be confused because that's not the first result that comes up.

Instead, you'll be greeted with January 26, 1990.

So what gives? If there's already an official DC approved birth date, then why the fuck is January 26 coming up all of a sudden?

Well, folks, you have the CW's Batwoman to thank.

Tbh I was very confused as to how I completely missed that there was an entire Batwoman TV show in the first place.

Apparently the show is considered a part of the CW Arrowverse (in reference to the CW show Arrow featuring Oliver Queen, for those of you who need extra info) and ran for 3 whole seasons before being cancelled on April 9, 2022.

And they gave us actual canon lesbian Kate Kane rep. I mean, she is a lesbian. But yeah. CW actually acknowledged her sexual orientation. So kudos for doing the bare minimum?????

Anyway, I guess the showrunners just decided they wanted Kate's birthday to be on January 26 instead of March 21??? Idk if this was supposed to be a reference or an homage to Cassandra Cain's birthday. I doubt it, but who knows?)

🤡Dick Grayson🤡: Greedy bitch who keeps lying about his birthday so he can scam people into giving him more presents jk jk

Most popular: "On the first day of spring" (bruh) or March 20/21

Other date(s): March 6, "April," October 24 (aka "the week before Halloween"), November 11 and December 1

Potential but unconfirmed date(s): June 24

(Dick's canon bday seems to be influx. March 6, March 20, March 21, November 11, June 24, December 1, and so on. I did see multiple sources state Dick was born "on the first day of spring." I'm unclear atm about whether this is a fanon take or if it was actually stated in a particular comic at some point.

As far as I'm concerned, Dick just keeps lying about his birthday for the lols)

(Update ((8/24/23)): Well, guess what I found, folks?

It's a return visit from our favorite friend, the Super DC Calendar of 1976. And according to it, Dick's birthday should be November 11.

You can also thank the Young Justice comic for the confusion surrounding Dick's bday being on December 1.

Also, I found this post by @theflyingwonder that helps clear up a LOT of the mess surrounding Dick's ever changing birth date. Honestly, amazing work and extra kudos to them for putting all the work in and finding all the sources. I just wished I had found their post earlier, holy shit.

And if you have some extra time, please give some love to @inkydandy for their hilarious and very sweet comic about all the confusion that comes with Dick's bday)

(Update ((8/25/23)): Many thanks to @poisoned-ivy for clearing up even more of the mess surrounding Dick's bday. I went ahead and took a screenshot of their response to my old "Which date is Dick's canon bday?" poll.

They also provided a link to the DC Universe Calendar which was lovingly compiled from the original 1976 Super DC Calendar and then put together by the people who run the Five Earths Project .

Also found out from them today that October 24 is one of Dick's bdays ((at least for Post-Crisis Dick Grayson)). So that was a fun new discovery!

They were also very helpful in helping me realize that the original article I had found that stated "sometime in April" was actually in reference to Dick Grayson's first appearance in the comics, which was April 1940.

So, yes, "sometime in April" is technically--again I hate this word so much now--still a valid candidate for Dick's bday. And before you ask: Detective Comics #38 was actually published on March 6, 1940.

Hence why people will cite March 6 as Dick's canon bday instead.

This project got a lot bigger than I ever expected it to ... god)

👑Barbara Gordon👑: September 23

👑Jason Todd👑: August 16

👑Cassandra Cain👑: January 26

👑Tim Drake👑: July 19

👑Stephanie Brown😮‍💨: She emerged from the void with the sole purpose of dragging Bruce's ass to hell and back. Nothing can stop her. We all exist in her world now.

Potential but unconfirmed date(s): June 23, "August," or August 11

(For real, though, some peeps will say June 23 since the month she officially debuted in the comics was June 1992.

But I've also seen August 1992 listed as her bday month as well--lot of August babies in the Batfam, huh--but I haven't found June 23 specifically listed as her canon bday, either. It honestly feels like the fans are putting in more work than DC at this point. Which, like, I'm not surprised. Just disappointed)

(Update ((8/24/23)): Someone mentioned August 11 as a potential birth date, but I have yet to see an actual source that specifically states this. If I do find one, I'll edit this section. Figured I should put it here just in case, though)

👑Duke Thomas👑: August 13

👑Damian Wayne👑: August 9

👑Terry McGinnis😮‍💨

Most popular: August 18

Other date(s): June 27 or August 10

Potential but unconfirmed date(s): September 19 (fml)

(Yes, I'm including Terry, fuck you lol

Also SERIOUSLY WTF is up with so many of these August birthdays!!!! Fuck, was everyone just getting crazy BUSY in November!!!! What's going on in the DC universe that is making November of all months the HORNY MONTH????!!!!)

(Mini update ((8/18/23)): Well, I just found out that apparently June 27th 2023 is also a highly debated birth date for Terry. As is August 10 2023/2024 and August 18 2023/2024. I even saw a mention of September 19 2023, but I don't know how credible that source actually is. I'm just putting it here because I'm losing my mind and I don't want someone to pop in and say I forgot it omfg I'm dying

I'm just ... why? Why is it so hard to just commit to one month and one date. I'm not even concerned about the exact year. Just commit to ONE, man.

Excuse me while I march over to DC HQ and burn the whole place to the ground iswtfg)

Feel free to correct me if I'm wrong on any of these. I have a massive headache now and am open to any suggestions or clarifications y'all have to offer.

Also, I'm going to fist fight Dick in a Denny's parking lot.

Update (8/17/23): So a mini post that I meant to use as a way to vent how insane Dick was making me somehow blew up way more than I ever expected it to, and now I feel obligated to clarify again that I am open to any corrections and additional info that anyone has to offer.

I'm saying this because I've noticed people reblogging this post for actual Batfam bday references and someone already pointed out I fucked up Tim's bday and now I feel bad for everyone who reblogged this post prior to that edit.

It's probably just the anxiety talking, but yeah I just wanted to put that out there.

Also justice for Stephanie Brown! She deserves to have her own special day and if I have to bully DC into giving her a canon birthday, then you bet your ass I fucking will.

(And to all of y'all who are encouraging Dick to keep running his side scam business, I just have this to say: There's an empty Denny's parking lot somewhere out there just waiting for you, too lol)

[david-talks-sw]

The OTHER type of Star Wars fan

We've already covered (through this longer post and this addendum) that research shows George wasn't that involved or interested in the derivative material of the Star Wars franchise, also known as the Expanded Universe (EU). Aside from approving a few points, he let Howard Roffman and Lucasfilm Licensing handle it.

He is the first to say that he ain't as knowledgeable about Star Wars lore as we fans are.

Thing is... he's also not as passionate as we are.

Recently, I was watching some Q&A videos of George R.R. Martin, the author of Game of Thrones... and it occurred to me:

Martin is what most Star Wars fans wish Lucas was.

Think about it.

He's a talented writer who likes to focus on morally "gray" characters and complex political plotlines,

who created a series of novels for a mature audience in which his narrative merely asks questions and lets the reader draw their own conclusions,

knows and engages in the lore behind his creation and will often respond to those lore-heavy questions, and has gone on record stating that canon is the glue that holds a story together and keeps it coherent.

Contrast that with George "continuity is for wimps" Lucas, who:

Wrote a movie franchise which is also, partially, political... but he makes it for kids, and he's explicit about how this is thematically a clear-cut story about how the conflict of "good vs evil" is really about "compassion vs greed",

with flat dialogue, boring cinematography,

and whose approach to lore and canon can be summed up in his answer to how Anakin got his scar:

"I don't know. Ask Howard [Roffman]. That’s one of those things that happens in the novels between the movies. I just put it there. He has to explain how it got there. I think Anakin got it slipping in the bathtub, but of course, he's not going to tell anybody that." - Pablo Hidalgo’s set diary, August 2003

And as a Star Wars fan, I will admit that some of his casual retcons felt disrespectful, growing up.

"Boba Fett is NOT Mandalorian?!"

I had the same reaction when I saw an interview of Kathleen Kennedy stating she was a fan of Star Wars... from a filmmaking perspective. That seemed like such a finagling cop-out for me, at the time.

"Just say you're not a real fan, God!"

And it's easy to divide it in two camps, like that. You have 1) the real fans, who will delve into deep lore, and 2) the average moviegoer, also known as the "filthy casuals."

But looking back on it... holy shit, that is actually a completely valid way of being a Star Wars fan.

Yes, Star Wars is a transmedia franchise, it's books, it's video-games, it's deep lore, it's lightsabers and Jedi and Sith and bounty hunters and Ewoks and Jabba and High Republics and Tython and Revan etc.

But before it was that, Star Wars was a filmmaking revolution. A juggernaut of innovation for the silver screen that inspired most of today's filmmakers.

So, sure, George Lucas isn't an avid lore-loving Star Wars fan like you and me. But he is a movie fan.

"I'm not that passionate about this story. I like it, it's fun and I enjoy doing it. But it's definitely not my life. I'm a bigger movie fan than I am Star Wars fan. I like making movies. At the end of nine years of making Star Wars, I was not ready to continue it. I was completely burned out on it. I was more passionate about raising my kids than making movies and especially making Star Wars. So I made other kinds of movies and TV shows and advanced the technology I needed. It's not a matter of passion. My passion is for filmmaking. I'll go and do filmmaking that is easier to do, where you can realise your ideas better. And nine years is a big part of your life, and to commit to another nine years, I didn't wanna do that right away." - EMPIRE, 1999

And you can tell this, when you watch the Star Wars films.

There are honestly so many homages and interesting filmmaking techniques, peppered throughout the six films, which only a nerd for cinema history like George would know how to implement.

C3-PO being based on the droid from Metropolis (1927) is a perfect example of this.

And that's interesting.

Because there's essentially this entire other dimension to the films, where it's not just the story unfolding, but to filmmakers it's also a series of techniques that make them go "I wonder how they did that!" or homages that make them go "OH! I know where that's from!" like we do when an comics characters appears in live-action.

Here's other examples:

CINEMA HOMAGES

All of Star Wars is absolutely littered with homages to cinema history.

I mean, you may already know this, but Flash Gordon is what George originally wanted to shoot, but the copyright holders said they only wanted Fellini to direct it (ironically, George wasn't artsy-fart enough for them). So he decided to write Star Wars instead.

As such, the inspiration from Flash Gordon is also present visually and spiritually throughout the two trilogies.

"It was like a Republic serial, a 1930s-style matinee adventure. The idea was that you came in, saw Episode IV, had missed the first three episodes, and wouldn't get to see the rest of it." - Starlog Magazine #300, 2002

The dialogue that a lot of people refer to as "campy" and "flat" is actually a mix of George being an experimental filmmaker who doesn't give much of a fuck about dialogue (and is by his own admission, not the best at it)...

"I'd be the first person to say I can't write dialogue. My dialogue is very utilitarian and is designed to move things forward. I'm not Shakespeare. It's not designed to be poetic. It's not designed to have a clever turn of phrase. [...] I just wanted to get from point A to point B. This film doesn't lend itself to that sort of thing because it's not about snappy one-liners.  I think that Lethal Weapon-style dialogue is overused, it's a necessary aspect of high action films where you have to have the smart retort. You have to say "I'll be back baby" and stuff. It's not my style. It takes away from the integrity of the movie. [...] I'm aware that dialogue isn't my strength. I use it as a device. I don't particularly like dialogue which is part of the problem." - EMPIRE, 1999

... which is convenient, because it helped him simulate the dialogue of 1930s matinee serials, such as Flash Gordon.

"Let’s face it, their dialogue in that scene is pretty corny. It is presented very honestly, it isn’t tongue in cheek at all, and it’s played to the hilt. But it is consistent, not only with the rest of the movie, but with the overall Star Wars style. Most people don’t understand the style of Star Wars. They don’t get that there is an underlying motif that is very much like a 1930s Western or Saturday matinee serial. It’s in the more romantic period of making movies and adventure films. And this film is even more of a melodrama than the others." - Mythmaking: Behind the Scenes of Attack of the Clones, 2002

But beyond that, literally it's everywhere.

The scene where Palpatine ascends to being Emperor as Anakin slaughters his political rivals parallels the final scene in The Godfather, where Michael becomes the Don while his goons do the same thing.

This video compiles all the tributes beautifully. Check it out.

Even The Clone Wars has whole episodes that are direct homages to cult classics. The Zillo Beast episode is a clear reference to Godzilla, the episode The Wrong Jedi is inspired by The Wrong Man, etc.

"CINEMA VÉRITÉ" CINEMATOGRAPHY

I've already written a whole post (one of my favourites) showing how his fascination with cinéma vérité documentaries is reflected in the cinematography of all six Star Wars films, and it's part of what makes the entire franchise feel so immersive.

You can check it out here:

KUROSAWA

We've gone over how he's a big fan of Akira Kurosawa, and how big an influence Hidden Fortress was on both the Star Wars trilogies...

... but so is the mise-en-scène and the way George approaches production design. The reason Star Wars feels so "lived in" is also a lesson George learned from Kurosawa, which is that by making everything just a bit off-kilter, a bit dirtied-up and imperfect...

... and yet keeping it all consistent, in a way, you manage to make the film feel grounded and immersive, no matter how alien it is.

"[It] may sound odd in a movie like this, but credibility and realism, even in the most unrealistic situation… to sorta create that sense of realism is very important to making the story work and making you feel like you’re actually in the environment that transports you and gives you the suspension of disbelief that you need in order to enjoy a movie. [...] Kurosawa used to call it “immaculate realism” which is to make it slightly off-kilter, slightly eccentric, like things are in real life. Even if it’s a very predictable situation, give it that little funny edge that takes it away from that and makes it realistic. And I had to struggle very hard, in the Star Wars films, to make them appear to be realistic, even though they’re totally fantasy." - The Phantom Menace, Commentary Track #2, 1999

POST-PRODUCTION & VFX

Another one of the more impressive aspects of the first Star Wars was the dogfights and the trench raid of the Death Star. The camera pans with the spaceship, the dynamism of the cuts. The space battles is what made George creat ILM in the first place.

He was determined to do the opposite of what 2001: A Space Odyssey had done with that opening scene where the space ship moves into frame slooooowly...

... so he gave the team a collection of WWII dogfight footage to give them ideas.

(note: this was the same approach he would take years later with Dave Filoni, when teaching the latter how to edit and craft dogfights in The Clone Wars)

The attempt to film the trench run eventually led to the creation of the first motion control camera dolly.

Best analogy I can think of, when describing George's approach to Star Wars, is the following:

An avant-garde esoteric contemporary artist - y'know, the type who puts a blue dot on a white canvas and calls it art - creates a comic.

Why? Because he wants to make this one art installment for a gallery exhibition. After that, he intends to move on to other things.

But the comic is really good! And like, its audience quickly expands beyond just gallery visitors, no, everyone likes it.

Suddenly, the comic develops a cult following, and the entirety of comic book geek culture has zeroed-in on the artist and they're all asking him to make more art! And he makes more! And more!

Then he stops for two decades, moves on to other art projects, raises his kids. Years later, he discovers new ways of drawing, and he's like "I'm making a Prequel to the comic, y'all wanna see it?"

Everyone cries out gleefully: "Oh God, yes! Finally! Show us!"

But this motherfucker makes a manga.

Why? Because he feels like it.

And of course he does, he's just creating art, right? He discovered the graphic tablet, so he's having fun with it, because he's always innovating and pushing the envelope with his art.

And the books are fine, by manga standards. But by comic book standards, they obviously suck! The comic book audience is mad. They wanted another comic book, not a manga. Why is it in black and white? Why is read right-to-left? This comic is crap!

(And arguably, they have a point... as a savvy businessman, he's made a whole lot of money off this comic, he built a media empire out of it, and instead of giving them what they want, he made something else)

But again... this guy isn't a comic book illustrator, and has been very explicit about saying this.

He's an artist who - for a very specific project - drew a comic.

Many things can be true at once:

the fact that these creative decisions didn't always hit their mark for the average moviegoer, or fans of "Star Wars, the space fantasy movies and expanded universe" (usually the lore-loving geeks like myself)...

... and the fact that they were meticulously and carefully crafted in a way that fans of "Star Wars, the revolutionary film" (aka fans of cinema and filmmaking) can appreciate.

There's a spectrum of the fandom, and there is a spectrum in the way we can appreciate Star Wars. Which kinda reminds me of that scene in Chef (2014) where Carl goes on a rant explaining the intricacies of making his chocolate lava cake to a food critic.

It's not just undercooked chocolate. It's molten.

Conversely:

It's not just flat, campy dialogue. It's an homage to the 1930s matinee serials à la Flash Gordon.

It's not just boring cinematography. It's a reproduction of cinéma vérité documentary-style camera work which effectively grounds the film.

Having considered all this, when I hear that Tony Gilroy or Kathleen Kennedy were more fans of Star Wars from a "cinema studies" side rather than the typical pop culture one, I think it's fair enough.

First of all, because like it or not, so was George. He clearly didn't give a single crap about the offshoot comics and books and their lore, besides signing off on minor plot points. He's not a "sci-fi movie director", he's an experimental filmmaker who set some of his movies in space.

But secondly, because - aside from children - it's clear the audience he was targeting was not the fans or the critics... but these very same cinema-savvy people, who get his references and homages, and who were inspired by the new filmmaking techniques he introduced.

[tawked]

I know we're all real big "read the comics" fans here but, considering the show is now 32 years old and many people in the Batman fandom might not know about it -

if you do not want to read the comics, might I recommend the massively acclaimed Batman animated series from the 90s instead?

Seriously, room-temperature take: it's better than what was going on in the comics at the time.

DCAU Batman: kind, empathetic but still troubled and a little self-centered at times. He understands even scary dangerous mentally ill people are not beyond help and that what they really need is support and care. He actively tries to resolve every conflict with a minimal of violence and brutality, with stories often focusing on detective work in a pulpy noir atmosphere, or the clever use of a tactic relevant to a bad man's gimmick. Every character is consistent and has a clear, coherent vision. There is exactly one profoundly stupid retcon and it's in an extremely skippable bottle episode of another show (Justice League Unlimited, and the retcon relates to Batman Beyond, the Wise Man's Favourite Batman). Respects women (here to take back the night, for her). Loves his gay sons and daughter. Does not turn his car into a murder tank to shoot people with.

90s comics Batman: violent asshole who is mean to everybody because idk Denny O'Neil thinks that's what autism or PTSD or whatever is. Makes absurdly stupid fucking decisions that later need to be retconned into making sense and even then they rely on everybody else being an inconsistent nonsense character. Launches into monologues about how it'd be super easy if he could just kill people, especially those incurable freak scoundrels at the crazy people prison more often than you would think. Truly horribly mean to women (Huntress and Spoiler especially) in a way that is simply beyond the norm of the genre at the time. Relentlessly weird and abusive in "my dad never hugged me" ways toward his ever-growing collection of sometimes dead children. Constantly turning his car into a murder tank to shoot people with.

This show is not an adaptation of the comics (though some individual issues are adapted or reworked), but if you just specify you're writing about or discussing DCAU Batman, people are pretty chill and in my experience will actively tell you about specific issues or TPBs that relate to the show. Other than that, it's just an extremely solid, accessible version of Batman, and the version of the character most people remember / care about when they criticize mean asshole comic book Batman for being "out of character" (even though comic book Batman has kinda sorta been that way since Crisis).

The same is basically true of Superman. His DCAU series has less of a reputation but is honestly crazy underrated. Best version of Lois Lane and Jimmy Olsen.

The Justice League cartoon, a sequel to both series, will also introduce you to a bunch of mainstay DC characters, albeit usually pretty far-removed from their own stories and exclusively in a team context. The only major outliers are The Question, Wonder Woman (kinda) and Martian Manhunter, who were basically 100% rewritten for the show. Even then if you just specify you mean the DCAU versions of these characters people will get it, the shows used to be more popular than the comics in the 90s.

This will also sneakily onboard you to the Zeta Project and you will learn, albeit indirectly, who the most insufferable kids in like 2002 were. Seriously, I sound insane telling children this now, but Ro's design was like... the rosetta stone for shit Deviantart anime OCs for a whole five years or so.

The watching order I'd recommend is:

Batman: Mask of the Phantasm.

Batman: The Animated Series.

Superman: The Animated Series.

Batman & Mr. Freeze: SubZero.

The New Batman Adventures.

Batman: Mystery of the Batwoman.

Justice League.

Justice League Unlimited.

Batman Beyond.

Batman: Return of the Joker (the only Tim Drake story I like lol).

The Zeta Project (severely optional).

I'd place Static Shock somewhere before Justice League Unlimited, personally, but you can move that one around as you please. There's some jank to it because it wasn't originally going to be part of the DCAU, but then come season two they started incorporating little crossovers and nods.

Batman & Harley Quinn and Justice League vs. the Furious Five are also in continuity but I pretend I do not see the Harley Quinn farts in the batmobile and fucks Nightwing movie, and have not actually seen the Furious Five movie.

Easy, simple, no fuss no muss. Batman is the only character to appear in every single show (albeit not every episode, obviously), so he serves as kind of a connecting throughline for the "Timmverse."

A lot of these shows are on Netflix and I mean, y'know, just pirate them, it's not like Warner Bros. needs more money lol.

Other recommendations:

Super Friends - no bullshit. It's aged pretty horribly, especially the animation, but I kid you not, this show genuinely captures what golden age superhero stories and especially Batman feels like. Not at all remotely character-driven (but neither were 90% of the comics), instead centered 100% around very badly animated action. I fucking love it. It will teach you how the idea of Batman worked before he was Gotham's dark moody emo prince. I don't recommend watching all of Super Friends, there is a lot of it, but there's value in just blasting through a couple eps. The benefit here is that they tinker with the format and line-up every season so if you do find yourself enjoying that 1970s American cartoon style of storytelling, they do keep it kind of fresh.

The Batman - that is, the 2004 series. Hated on arrival for not being more Timmverse DCAU stuff. Some of the most creative direction in villain and action design the franchise has ever had, but like, everybody in this show is a kung fu fighter when that is extremely not the case in the comics lol. Will demonstrate Batman as a pulp scifi detective, and how his stories can work when he's an isolated character. Plays hard into the idea of empathy for some villains, and provides most villains with pretty human motives. Downplays Batman as mentally ill and makes his Bruce Wayne persona, uh... more "relatable" to kids in the mid-2000s lol. Doesn't really supplement comic book canon but if you want to see how concepts can be stretched and adapted for fanfiction purposes, this is an invaluable show.

Batman - The Brave & The Bold. Captures the vibe of the wider DC universe during the 1950s - 1970s, with a lot of fun modern characters reworked into a silver age vibe and aesthetic. Very lighthearted and silly, but feels like if Gardner Fox were around today he'd fuck with it hard. Not a replacement for comics that people actually read and discuss in the tumblr fandom, but will introduce you to a range of characters, some of whom are actually pretty obscure, in an extremely digestible format. Has a bad, Teen Titans Go esque habit of responding to reddit fan criticisms in the Bat-Mite episodes, but those are paradoxically some of the most solid shit in the show.

[shadowqueenjude]

Something I've really noticed in SJM's writing of Rhysand: She'll constantly say one thing about him but the writing will tell us exactly the opposite. Like she'll tell us that Rhysand is super feminist or some shit and we're just supposed to...agree. But he hasn't done shit to help Illyrian females who get their wings cut off every day. Making laws without enforcing them is useless. Which leads into my second point: She tells us 70 times a chapter how powerful Rhysand is, yet he's unable to force the Illyrians to follow laws? Pls be fr. She tells us he believes in the equality of all beings. Yet he sexually assaulted a 19 yo human and he separates the CoN from Velaris? And also says bOtH sIdEs MaDe MiStAkEs. Bitch stfu. She tells us this man is uber handsome and desirable. Yet he's had no serious relationship in like 500 years. Tamlin has had relationships with a ton of people as was stated in book 1. But Rhysand? No relationships or even casual fucks as far as we know. Bro is just celibate somehow. We KNOW Lucien is hot because everyone in Prythian plus the Children of the Blessed are instantly dumbstruck when they look at him and it ain't because of the scar lovelies. Plus we even have LUCIEN being out on border control "WITH SOME COMPANY!" As in he was fucking someone. Plus he had Jesminda ofc. And we have Tamlin being insecure (it's a retcon but whatever) of Lucien in ACOWAR when it comes to Feyre. We have SJM telling us Rhysand is super duper smart and shit. Yet I've seen no demonstration of even the slightest bit of tact from him. He couldn't even make the High Lords listen to a word he was saying without violence. But Nesta, a human just turned Fae, was able to make all of them listen without violence. We've seen Lucien use tact when he played spymaster in book 1, when he used his cunning to try and guide Feyre to the answer in book 1, when he and Feyre together use the Bogge to assert their dominance over the Hybern twins, and when he was able to send a sample over to his friend Nuan about the faebane. Plus there's the fact that he saw through all of Feyre's bullshit and he survived the cutthroat Autumn Court and he currently balances three roles while still dressing immaculately. She'll tell us Rhysand believes in choice. Yet she wrote Rhysand forcing himself on Feyre, Rhysand forcing Feyre into a bargain, not permitting her to go back to Spring, not giving her the necessary info to make a proper decision over ANYTHING in Night (biggest example of this is the Weaver scene), hiding her malignant pregnancy from her and restricting her movements, and locking Lucien and Nesta up in houses. I could go on but you know...

Sjm needs to realize that SAYING something doesn't make it true. You have to PROVE IT with the actions and storyline you undertake. ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS.

[markantonys]

handful of 3x07 thoughts! today was the one day a quarter i had to work in the office instead of from home, so i had to hurry out the door after finishing the episode without getting to jot anything down and thus i've probably forgotten a lot of details, plus i never have all that much to say about battle episodes or perrin storyline besides "nice, i liked it", so a good chunk of this post is spent looking ahead to potential downstream effects of changes.

full book spoilers!

first, quick notes on the episode itself:

i was SO thrilled to see bode and eldrin get an even bigger role this week. they're swiftly becoming two of my favorite minor characters and i really hope we can continue to see them in future seasons! although i'm going to have to keep mentally retconning and changing the age gap between them and mat haha mat's been Vaguely 20s the whole time and meanwhile the sisters' actresses were teeny little kids in s1, then preteens in s3, and will probably be like 16-18 by the time s4 gets filmed (if it does and if they appear in it, fingers crossed!)

following off of this, as a newly-minted bode & eldrin lover and a longtime galad hater, i am so delighted that they got to steal his beat of killing valda to avenge their mom. suck it, galad!

i need my cauthon sibling reunion in s4 so bad!!!!!! alanna is set up to take them somewhere, but not the white tower, so potentially they could peel off from perrin's story group and wind up joining mat's in s4. i pray to the light that it will be so!

i am astonished that maksim survived. all season i was like "i guess i can accept them spending what feels to me like a disproportionate amount of time on solo maksim-alanna scenes that only serve them (unlike their s1&2 scenes which also always served main characters like lan at the same time) since they are probably building up to maksim's death and showing why that pushes alanna over the edge" but no! now i'm left feeling like it was all a waste of time. but hey, maksim could still die in a future season and make the s3 stuff feel retroactively more useful; maybe they're just saving his death to happen right before the Rand Bonding to act as alanna's trigger. i hope for that route, because if alanna non-con bonds rand while maksim is still alive, i'm sure maksim would deeply disapprove of this decision and then we'd have to spend even more time on him and their relationship showing the fallout (when the primary focus of this story beat should be rand and how HE is affected; yes, theoretically it's interesting for alanna to have a surviving warder who reacts to the situation instead of it only being her and rand reacting, but i just don't think that's the best use of time what with how limited we are)

honestly i feel like that's my only criticism of the episode, that maksim has overstayed his welcome for me this season and that's now worsened by him surviving into s4 haha but otherwise i was happy with everything else in the episode!

i loved perrin and faile's scenes!!!! after seeing the trailers, i was surprised (and disappointed/hesitant) that their relationship seemed to be a faster burn than i'd expected, but it turns out that 2 brief kisses and some flirting are the extent of the romance for s3. so we're still in really early territory between them with a lot more room to grow and to deepen the relationship, which i like!

and i really really like that laila and perrin's grief & trauma from her death are being consistently addressed and respected within the budding new relationship, rather than being hastily swept under the rug as many shows would do. their little tiff over perrin being overprotective of faile because of his laila trauma and her pushing back was perfect and was exactly what i expected the long-term effects of the laila change to be. great character work! people talk a lot of shit about "perrin's fridged wife has been a completely useless change" which is kind of insane considering how much attention the show has paid to the long-term effects of this on perrin and how much care they've treated this angle of his emotional arc with. if you don't like the change, fine, but to say it's been pointless and hasn't affected anything is nonsense!

then the whole "stay behind me" "stop trying to protect-" "kill the ones i miss" exchange WOOOOOO one of the most romantic moments in the entire show to date!!!

speaking of romance (lmao) perrin and dain's dynamic continues to compel me. it's so tasty!!! very excited that it will continue next season!

the tuatha'an were used very well in this episode! it was really nice to have such a strong thematic link between this storyline and rand's, but this time with a kinder ending note by aram being warmly welcomed into a new community after being rejected by his old one like lewin was. the possibility for aram to return again is there if they want it since he'll be hanging around the two rivers, but his story was given closure and thus this can easily work as the last time we see him if they choose not to bring him back (i believe the actor has gotten a lot more well-known since the time of s1, and being able to schedule in in-demand actors for small occasional guest roles is very tricky, as we saw this season with the absence of tam)

perrin asking fain why (as ingtar advised him in s2) and ending the battle by choosing to stop fighting (as ila advised him in s1) was just so wonderful. we love full-circle moments! and perrin ending a battle by choosing to stop fighting and then agreeing to be taken captive because he'd given his word that he would, it's a beautiful illustration of who perrin is and what makes him stand out from some other more standard fantasy hero character types. perrin has always been one of the characters i'm least interested in, but the show and particularly this episode has made his character gel for me and made me feel like i Get what he's all about more effectively than the books ever did. as i like to say, in the books he's my least favorite EF5 but in the show he's my fifth favorite EF5. i was really impressed by this episode showing the culmination of some very consistent and cohesive character work across all 3 seasons!

and this is exactly why s1 and s2 are so important. s3 couldn't have soared if the prior seasons hadn't built its wings. big character moments in s3 wouldn't have hit nearly so hard if we hadn't had all the smaller "boring" character moments that built up to them in previous seasons. put some respect on s1 and 2's names!!

and finally, loial. i was distraught!!!!! i'm not much of a crier, but i was sobbing! this was probably the hardest i've ever cried while watching wotshow (though the 2x06 ending sequence and 2x08 hopper's death+hornblowing scene are close seconds) and it was only 9am and i had to immediately wipe my tears and change into work clothes and head out the door djkfjghj i was being so brave about it!

but i 100% understand why they made this choice and i think it's a good one. loial is a fan-favorite whose death will hit viewers (and his fellow characters) very hard, but he also is not plot-essential and so can be removed from the story early without it affecting anything long-term. so that's a lethal combination that makes him the perfect candidate for a show death (and we do have to be a LOT more merciless with deaths in the show because a glut of characters is a much bigger problem for TV than it is for books, as rafe mentioned in the after-episode chat). but he will be dearly, dearly missed!!!!!

(sidenote: the whole fakeout death discourse is driving me insane! "this show loves fakeout deaths, loial's obviously not actually dead" "loial's obviously not actually dead and that pisses me off because once again the show is being cheap with a fakeout death" guys. guys. if you have an ounce of media literacy, it's usually pretty obvious which deaths are real and which are "fake", and loial's death is clearly real because so much fanfare was given to it. the lengthy scene, the slow motion, the emotional music, the other characters grieving him, his book left behind, his voiceover at the end of the episode: yeah, he's gone. they would not be Doing This Much if he wasn't. especially because the show's so-called ~fakeout deaths~ have pretty much always been just "other characters think they're dead but the audience knows they aren't" or "a character went down with no fanfare during an action scene and viewers wrongly assumed they were dead despite this not being shown and then accused the show of pulling cheap tricks when they turned out to not be dead after the show never tried to make us think they were dead" or "a character is gravely injured but then gets healed within minutes because it's well-established this is a world where magic can instantly heal anyone back from the brink of death as long as a magic-user is nearby". an ACTUAL fakeout death would be moiraine going out with grand fanfare and being mourned by the other characters for many books before it's revealed she's actually alive, or mat and aviendha being straight-up unambiguously dead but then coming back to life because rand unraveled time to undo their deaths (and just watch, if/when the show does these things, readers are still going to complain about The Show Doing Too Many Fakeout Deaths lmao as if RJ wasn't the king of fakeout deaths!). all this being said, i do agree that the amount of times alanna got skewered this season only to survive stretches credibility djfkgjh i wouldn't call those fakeout deaths though, just plot armor.)

okay, now moving on to musings on how the future of the story might be affected by some of the changes we saw in 3x07!

fain has escaped. this is not a change haha but book!fain does so little of true value after the two rivers arc that i'd been expecting him to die. so him living is a surprise to me because i'm not sure what they might do with him in the future! i saw people point out that since there's an absolute fuckton of random darkfriends throughout the books, fain could be a good way to sub in for a lot of those story beats where necessary by being Our Main (Non-Channeling) Darkfriend. curious to see if he will remain a Perrin Antagonist or if he will branch out to torment mat (again) and/or rand like he does in the books. i would think that rand receiving the shadar logoth wound first in this version means there's no need for him to ever cross paths with fain, but you never know.

and what about lord luc? is he going to emerge as a major antagonist in s4, or will he turn out to be an s3-only character that was dropped in as an easter egg for readers but whose long-term role will be cut or given to someone else? if the former, they did not set up ANYTHING for him, he probably had about 2 lines the whole time and 95% of viewers will have no memory of him by s4. but maybe they had a little bit more planned for him in s3 and it just didn't fit, so they decided, why not, we'll have him here in the background for the hell of it and dive into him properly next season. i expect that tigraine's backstory might come out next season since it was teased this season but there won't be time to get into it fully, so next season would be a good time to enlarge luc's role if they do indeed plan to do so.

perrin is now dain's captive (sexy). this feels like a similar type of change as combining "perrin killed a whitecloak to avenge hopper" + "dain thinks perrin killed his dad but he didn't really" = "perrin killed dain's dad to avenge hopper". now we have "perrin offered to give himself up to the whitecloaks after the two rivers battle but didn't actually do it" + "perrin gives himself up to the whitecloaks for a trial much later on" = "perrin gives himself up to the whitecloaks for a trial after the two rivers battle". just a very smart choice of beat combination, and it gives perrin something to do during his TFOH absence!

i can think of a couple scenarios here for perrin's story path:

in s4, his captivity is a partial-season storyline, and in the back half of the season he joins up with rand and participates in dumai's wells in 4x08. in s5, he sets out on a mission on rand's behalf and faile gets kidnapped (and/or perrin and mat both go to fight the seanchan campaign with their armies, and faile gets kidnapped by the seanchan while mat winds up having to kidnap tuon for whatever reason).

in s4, perrin's captivity is a full-season storyline. dumai's wells isn't until 5x08 and perrin does something else for the earlier chunk of s5 (perhaps a time to get masema out of the way?). faile's kidnapping is s6.

i've seen a few people speculate that this upcoming storyline will be faile rescuing kidnapped perrin as a full replacement for perrin rescuing kidnapped faile, but i'd say that faile being surprise-kidnapped is different enough from perrin voluntarily giving himself up that they could remain two different storylines (time permitting). after all, i don't think that faile really CAN rescue perrin from the current situation; i would tentatively argue that since he voluntarily put himself in this situation as a way to own up to his responsibility for bornhald's death, the only way he can get out of said situation is something diplomatic like being tried and found innocent, or dain forgiving him and letting him go. faile jailbreaking perrin, while fun to see, wouldn't make thematic sense as the resolution (and perrin might refuse to be rescued anyway Because Honor).

quick note that s4 feels like a good time to bring in the wolf dream; if perrin will be spending some time locked up and unable to get up to much in the real world, that makes it the perfect time to start exploring the wolf dream while he's asleep in his (maybe metaphorical, maybe literal) jail cell.

going back to the trial idea, could we see perrin's captivity storyline move into caemlyn and cross paths with morgase and/or galad? in a scenario where dumai's wells isn't until s5, then i would hazard a guess that the caemlyn battle would be the s4 finale instead, and if perrin was already there for his trial, then he can be involved in that and be connected with rand in time for s5 (though, again, i'd be hard-pressed to think of what perrin could do for the first 3 blocks of s5, since i really feel that dumai's wells has to be block 4 of whatever season it appears in. maybe wolf dream stuff could slot in here if there isn't time for it in s4.)

another possibility is that perrin gets caught up in a surprise seanchan attack sometime in s4, the way morgase did while she was in whitecloak captivity in the books. then he would have a reason to seek out rand in s5 (in time for dumai's wells): delivering the news that the seanchan have returned.

circling back to galad and morgase. valda's death has big implications here! firstly, it makes it more likely than ever that morgase will be killed for real by rahvin (which i and many of us had already long thought the show would do). it also, maybe, takes some of the weight and teeth out of galad's whitecloak storyline, if he can't be positioned as being as big and radical of a reformer since he doesn't have valda to bounce off of as an example of the worst of the organization, particularly since dain seems sooooooomewhat primed to begin rethinking some whitecloak stuff through his interactions with perrin next season. if valda is dead and dain begins taking on the Conflicted Whitecloak role (which is still a big if at this point), what's left for galad to do over there? i don't know and i don't care because i hate galad dfjkghj

and on that wholesome note, i will end the post here!

[showtoonzfan]

Now that the episode is out officially, here’s my rant review of Oops!

PROS:

- Fizz and Ozzie were adorable and I honestly love them. Despite the sex jokes, you can tell they love each other for who they are OUTSIDE of sex. While I did wish we would have seen more, (like how Ozzie took him in and fell in love) they’re still adorable to watch. They’re the better version of Stolitz, can the show be about them instead?

- Brandon’s voice acting holy shit, he really knows how to sound like he’s in tears or is broken. As much as I hate the character and feel no sympathy, he displayed genuine and broken emotion very well.

- Alex Brightman Alex Brightman

Okay that’s it. Moving on to the Cons. Bear with me, it’s a lot and I go back and forth a bit. 😭

CONS:

So for a quick short summary, this episode:

- Once again puts more focus on the filler plot rather than actually focusing on the relationships between the characters, so all we're left with is a 10 second clip of Fizz being burned while the rest of the episode is surrounded on sex jokes/petty bickering and Stolas and Ozzie sitting around.

- Completely erases what made Blitz and Fizz's dynamic interesting in the first place because it retcons it with a dumb miscommunication trope about how Fizz actually wanted to see Blitz and Blitz tried reaching out to him. Not only does this feel like a cheap attempt to make Blitz out to be sweet/sympathetic and NOT the one in the wrong so Fizz can suck up to him, but this also makes no sense within the narrative.

- Has Fizz forgive Blitz despite him being the last person anyone would think would forgive him. (So honestly ruins Fizz himself because it turned him into a soft boy who's forgiving compared to the asshole he was in Ozzie's) All because Viv would sell her whole soul before she even remotely considers painting characters like Blitz and Stolas out to be the one's in the wrong.

- Takes Stolas out of the hospital completely, erasing all the drama/tension Western Energy had and proves that that episode was utterly pointless.

- Turns Striker from an interesting complex villain to a Saturday morning cartoon goon.

- Proves to us that Crimson is just a flat tool and gives us more prove that the world building rules Viv set up in season 1 legit don't matter.

-Ruins Blitz/Barbie's feud now because now you're making Barbie look like the one in the wrong since the fire was an accident. God forbid a female characters emotions in this show are justified.

But if you want my more in depth rants, it’s under the cut! (There’s a lot so bear with me lol)

- As usual WAAY too many sex jokes and swearing. It gets annoying and repetitive at times and some of them distract from the main plot. There’s a long and I mean LONNG dragged out joke of Fizz talking about Ozzie’s dick, then later saying he’s hard when Striker has a gun to his head, as well as Blitz making a joke about him and Fizz making out once they hug. Again, Viv can’t be serious for 2 seconds without an unfunny shitty gag. I genuinely wonder if Hazbin is ganna be like this, where a character is in a life threatening situation or a deep dark serious scene happens only for the next scene to be sex related.

- This is one of those “shit happens because the plot demands it” and it shows. Crimson and Striker COINCIDENTLY meet up with each other, and Fizz and Blitz just so HAPPEN to be in the same exact area they are. Viv wonders why we call her shit a fanfic and this is what we mean, when she creates wild wacky plots and focuses more on THAT rather than the actual character writing. This entire episode hinges on a useless poorly last minute planned kidnapping plot that didn’t need to happen. Also way to once again make the characters idiots so the plot can happen, cause Fizz KNOWS Ozzie worries for him and that the Greed Ring is dangerous, yet purposefully puts the spotlight on him.

- Stolas did NOT need to be in this episode. The plot completely ignores the fact that he was in the hospital the last time we saw him, and he’s only here for Stolitz banter. You’d think that a character admitting they have feelings for someone would be a big deal but he just flat out says it and it’s so underwhelming and feels half assed with no weight to it. Fan comics have made more dedication to this than Viv has. We're supposed to believe him too despite the show failing to actually SHOW us this. Same for Blitz ranting about how “nice” Stolas has been to him, laughing at his jokes and liking his posts…hey Viv, can we actually SEE that on screen so it’s more believable? Or are you only determined to show them sexually flirting? 😑

- Once again Viv felt the need to shove a B plot into this episode and this one sucks because it’s just two characters sitting and doing fucking nothing. It felt like Viv had no idea what to do with Stolas and Ozzie, and I refuse to believe that Ozzie just sat there knowing Fizz was in danger. If anything he would have said “fuck the paperwork” and went to save Fizz himself. Way to show that gif of Ozzie getting mad as a sneak peak to get fans excited, only to see that Ozzie spends the rest of the episode sitting in a dark room LMAO what a let down.

- Ozzie is weirdly chill and cool with Stolas and it’s something I don’t get. While he did say that Stolas had the real “spirit of Lust” in S1E7, it still gave you the impression that he was also more poking fun at Stolas rather than respecting him. The whole point of House of Asmodeous was that Ozzie outs him and publicly embarrassed him. Stolas literally was intimidated just by Asmodeous’s mere name, and hid his face around him. It seemed like Stolas certainly didn’t want someone like Ozzie to know about his private life especially since they’re both part of the Ars Goetia. Now here Ozzie is just cool with him and it feels like a missed opportunity for their dynamic.

- Stolas confessing his feelings about Blitz also makes…no sense narrative wise. I thought the whole point of The Circus and the ending to Western Energy was that he was realizing that Blitz didn’t like him that way and was finally waking up. I thought that’s why he was doing this whole crystal deal in the first place, so he can let Blitz go, yet the show keeps flip flopping and insisting that these two love each other and are good for each other. It’s really making you realize how this season and the previous stuff set up is becoming nonsense because the writers retcon EVERY damn episode. Also….why the hell is Stolas telling Ozzie his feelings for Blitz? Out of all people, why is it Ozzie, the person who outed Stolas and embarrassed him. Why is Stolas even respectful of Ozzie? He has no reason to, and he’s not under the impression that he’s dating Fizz either. I get that he needs the crystal but mentioning his love for Blitz makes no sense.

- Striker and Crimson teaming up to kidnap Blitz and Fizz was such an ass puller last minute decision. It feels overwhelming and underwhelming at the same time, more because it feels like Viv has no idea what to do with these two villain characters other than give them something evil to do to start the plot. Also…why…are they working together? It feels so random.

- Striker’s character especially is all over the place. First he’s working for Stella, then he’s painted as the best assassin in hell, and now he’s…looking for more work I guess and working for Crimson? Why? Does this guy even have a motive anymore? It feels like his character is just dangling around until Viv wants to use him for another wattpad kidnap plot and it ESPECIALLY shows when Striker escapes for the THIRD fucking time. Can this character/storyline actually GO somewhere or are you just going to keep introducing him and have him run away. 🤦🏽‍♀️

— How did Crimson not know who Striker is despite him being labeled as “the most popular assassin in hell”, and how the hell does Crimson know Ozzie and know all the information about him being in a relationship with Fizz?? Oh right because we needed the plot to happen somehow. Still, even if Crimson did know that Ozzie was the "weakest" and loved Fizz, (which….what about Beezlebub?)) he still should have known he was playing with fire. I get that he's supposed to be evil and intimidating but how could he have predicted that Ozzie would actually stand down and fill out the paperwork? He could have immediately came there and killed Crimson for all he knew. It's just distracting how..not planned this shit was.

- Fuck this episode for calling Striker a supremacist. It makes no sense?? Viv is trying SO hard to villainize him despite him being the one in the right and it pisses me off. He has every right to be mad at the upper class, he’s part of the lower class that we’re said Hell takes advantage of, but god forbid we call out Rich and powerful Stolas because that would mean he’s a b-bad person and we can’t have that complex morality! This is so not a “eat the rich” story and it shows bc Vivzie is rich as hell. Striker as a character deserves so much better man. Congrats writers, you had an interesting character and motive set up for him, now he’s nothing but a silly goon that you might as well kill off already cause you clearly don’t care about him. Crimson meanwhile is just a piece of paper, a boring plot device I could give less of a shit about. I thought his motive was to go after Moxxie, now he’s just doing fuck whatever because this show desperately wants a bad guy for their filler fanfic plots.

- We get more world building issues, Ozzie and Fizz are so determined to hide their relationship for obvious reasons, but then at the end of the episode just say “fuck it, no one would dare tell anyway”. So now they’re being open about their relationship and lmao I told y’all the newspaper scene of Ozzie being called out for being a hypocrite wouldn’t go anywhere. Even if Ozzie did threaten his workers to not tell, they can’t be so sure that someone wouldn’t see or snitch, it’s kinda a retcon too cause they were pretty lovey dovey in Ozzie’s. Still, it makes the characters look dumb and it makes the rules Viv set up for Hell once again not mean anything.

- We finally get to see Fizz’s backstory in action and it’s executed in the most underwhelming way possible. It’s literally a fucking 10 second clip of what went down, and rather than experiencing the event for ourselves, it’s in flashback mode but with Fizz’s voice talking over it. That’s it. I’ve seen fan comics/fanart that built this shit up better than Viv did, that actually took the slow time and dedication it needed, and here it feels like such an afterthought, like Viv could care less. Maybe if this actually was a character driven show like Viv claims, Stolas, Striker, and Crimson would be taken out of the picture and then that would leave us with PLENTY time to actually explore and develop Blitz/Fizz, bc most of this episode is just them pettily bickering and Stolas and Ozzie sitting around. But nah, we gatta have our fanfic kidnapping plot. Same goes for the reveal of Blitzo’s mom dying in the same fire. Glad to know that she got the same treatment Moxxie’s mom did, where we don’t even know her and yet we’re supposed to feel moved and care about her death. You nailed that one Viv. 👍

- I predicted that this episode would victimize Blitz and have the fire incident be an accident, (because Viv is a pussy writer and can’t make her characters actually do bad things like god forbid) but I never thought they’d actually have the balls to have Fizz forgive Blitz immediately in the same episode and pull the “actually turns out that horrible thing you did to me helped me in a way”- trope. Biggest flaw of the episode, fuck you Viv. I was actually going to applaud Blitz for taking accountability, but then the dialogue reminds you that an abuser wrote this, and he shifts his apology to “okay but I lost something too see so it’s not all about you” as if he’s fucking dismissing Fizz’s trauma and making it about himself. “I love flawed characters” my fucking ass. I would have smacked a bitch if I was Fizz because Blitzo loosing his mother in the fire too isn’t an excuse?? Fizz lost his fucking ARMS AND LEGS, and at the end of the day Blitzo STILL KNEW HE WAS HELPLESS IN THE FIRE BUT LEFT HIM BEHIND. He could have gotten help and came back, but didn’t. If this were a good show Fizz would have threw that apology back in Blitzo’s face and said “I don’t care if it was an accident or not, you still left me there and then proceeded to loathe me for years”. This is why Helluva will never be Bojack cause at least characters in that show who got treated horribly by him knew when to say “no, fuck you.”

- The episode retcons again, this time they make it out to be that Blitz TRIED contacting Fizz the years they were apart but no one would let him see him. Then they say that Fizz actually WANTED to see Blitz but assumed he didn’t want to, so their entire feud was solely because of miscommunication?? Number one, show don’t fucking tell omg. And number two, that makes ZERO sense. Blitz talked badly about Fizz in Loo Loo Land, and when they finally reunited in Ozzie’s, it was clear they fucking loathed each other. You got the impression that Blitz was petty and jealous just because Fizz was more popular, and Fizz not only loathed him for the accident, but liked to rub in his face about how much of a big shot he was. They literally do that in this episode too, so the episode is literally contradicting itself. Blitz and Fizz had multiple chances to meet up with each other, you can’t just say “oh they couldn’t because no one would let them”- So which is it? Did they hate each other because of bad blood, petty drama, or that they thought the other didn’t want to see them? Pick ONE Viv and stick to it, but she never does. Their feud was interesting and now you ruined it just to have some sweet happy ending. “Adult mature show” my ass lol.

-Bottom line is Fizz shouldn’t have forgave Blitz so easily, or forgave him period. I find it funny how he says “it’s hard to just forgive you” and then he literally does lol. I feel so bad for Fizz fans, him and Blitz’s feud was honestly interesting, so to see all of this go down in a half-assed piss poor way as if this was Care Bears is….wow. The fan interpretations had more thought and care put into this storyline but what else is new lol.

- I’m really tired of these shitty annoying songs. If you’re going to get Broadway actors, please put effort into your songwriting and actually have them sing something good, not something that’s literally nonsense. This Fizz song sounds like it took less than a minute to write and Sam Haft was just thinking of anything he could think of at the top of his head. Also Why the fuck are Striker and Crimson just STANDING there while Fizz sings. They look like idiots, just SHOOT them omg. If this were a funny show, Fizz would have started his first note and Crimson just rolls his eyes and pulls his gun out.

- Fizz and Ozzie kill the lawyer but not…Crimson? Despite Fizz knowing what ring he’s in and even Ozzie knowing what he looks like? Same for Blitz, he doesn’t try to make sure Striker is dead. I get that the plot demands for these two to still be around, but there’s a way to keep them alive without making the main characters look like fucking idiots. Also Stolas just leaves without doing or contributing anything to the plot yay.

- Fizz: “Let him have it, you could say he’s earned it”— Uhm….Nope. Blitz did NOT earn shit. He didn’t even earn Fizz’s forgiveness. Last time I checked, the moment Blitz cried and said it was an accident, Fizz forgave him, knowing he didn’t mean it. What effort did Blitz do to “earn” that as well as the crystal? Because he saved Fizz and didn’t leave him behind for the SECOND time near the end?? Cause if so than the bar is extremely low. That’s the bare minimum, just because Blitz cried and felt bad about it doesn’t mean he should be let off the hook Viv. I hate this so much, what a shitty conclusion, it feels forced just so Blitz can have the crystal and just so the writers can once again paint him as the one in the right. It’s almost insulting that they make it seem like Fizz was in the wrong for assuming Blitz starting the fire too, same for Barbie.

God what a shitty day it is to be a Fizz fan, I’m sorry. The episode did NOT do him justice. Fizzarolli deserved better than that half assed gaslighting apology for someone who lost their arms and legs man, and I’m tired of the show letting every character suck up to Blitz and Stolas for their horrible treatment just because they feel bad. Not only that but the episode (as most recent HB episodes) was a huge time waster. Everyone was really hoping for an in depth walkthrough of his character/backstory but again, when he’s not with Ozzie, the rest/most of his screen time is dedicated to him being helpless and pointlessly arguing with Blitz, plus a long dragged out nonsense song that didn’t need to happen. It felt like SO much time was wasted when we could have used the runtime we have to dive deeper and see more, like….again it would have been nice to see Fizz’s life AFTER the accident and how he became well known as well as how he fell in love with Ozzie, but his backstory is briefly scratched upon in a single scene and that’s it, all because Viv wanted this filler plot and wanted to dedicate more time to THAT rather than actual character expansion/development, something we could have got had you took out Stolas and Ozzie’s B plot and Striker and Crimson.

Viv is so on her way to murder/ruin every character that isn’t Blitz and Stolas and I won’t be here to watch further. I’ll check out the Mammon music video thing but that’s it man, this show is going off the rails, Adding Fizz to the character adoption list!

[maukiki1-but-cringefail]

Armada/Micron Legend starscream is not the same person as Cybertron/Galaxy force starscream (Duh)

i mean obviously.....I know Galaxy Force/Cybertron was retconned to be a sequel to Superlink/Energon (in the dub? specifically i think?? i watched everything in sub so. whatever it got retconned regardless) but honestly i thought that was utterly stupid and i get a little sad when people see those two starscreams as the same person. please. I mean i giggled when i first found out about the retconning thing bcs shit don't add up at all whyd they even do that😭stupid as hell

Honestly i didn't like whatever nightscream was supposed to be (I know overall what happens with him, i read instead of watching the show. Superlink is the only show from the unicron trilogy i didn't watch. i got bored lmfao) but just the idea of starscream coming back just undermines his sacrifice in armada/Micron legend idk why people talk about that less but more about op getting revived in rid2015😭💀 also i heard that he was supposed to be thrust? man whatever fuck Superlink this is about Galaxy force

theyre like polar opposites LMFAO they couldn't be more far apart... despite being opposites though i like both of them for what they are. Micron Legend screamers like, anything but a starscream but thats fine (the original version of the anime was giving random ass names to characters on top of that. why is demolisher named ironhide😭🙏). He is a decepticon, but he has good in his heart as was willing to sacrifice himself for a greater good. Galaxy force screamer on the other hand, is an unapologetically EVIL HOE who only cares about himself. And thats hilarious because wdym thats a part of the retcon what did yall feed him in superlink😭please wkwhwjqjbqakkxkxj. no sob story no nothing just a menace a true hater for the love of the game. Personally i think we should put them in a little cage and watch them kill eachother

Its like Galaxy force writers looked at Micron Legend and specifically wrote a polar opposite of the starscream in it. and some mf was like hmm yes. these are the same person. this is a good idea.

i need to see them interact. someone is going 2 die

Also their facial features r funny too Micron legend screamer looks handsome and polite like a :) . Galaxy force screamer looks like he would drop kick a baby and then breakdance on its corpse. His lips are so big and luscious because thats where he keeps all his malice.

Im not saying Micron Legend Starscream is an angel who has done no wrong but he sure seems like it when you compare him to Galaxy force starscream😭i might draw them interacting itd be funny

[seilnakyle]

heeyyy, I know you're busy, so feel free to answer this whenever you want/can. why don't you like gcs? i don't read their comics so I'm curious

Hiii thank you for asking 💗

There is so much, “Gotham City Sirens” has ruined the complexity of their relationships with Selina, prior to the New 52, and is pretty much an industry plant friendship/team that made everything less interesting and usually mischaracterizes or abuses Selina for it. The name and playboy esq covers are the only iconic thing about it, and for some unfortunate reason it’s created the false perception that Harley, Ivy and Selina were friends and had always been, when in reality, before the New 52, they were NEVER friends.

Catwoman's first interaction with Harley involved her slicing Selina’s throat, drugging her, and trying to get her to kill Jim Gordon. For no particular reason.

Catwoman (1993) #82

Catwoman (1993) #83

Of course during the original Hush, Poison Ivy brainwashes Catwoman and forces her to commit crimes for her which leads to Selina almost getting killed by Killer Croc, then Harley Quinn shoots her 😭

Hush #3

THIS is toxic yuri.

I don’t hate the concept of Catwoman occasionally teaming up with rouges, or being friendly with them, but Ivy and Selina had real moral conflict too. No matter how far back we go in Selina’s history, even as a villain, she isn’t down with hurting innocent people. Harley and Ivy have different morals.

One of the more interesting Poison Ivy/Catwoman stories is from Catwoman (1993) #57, set during No Man’s Land. Where we see that theres a lot about Ivy that Selina admires, but she still wont let her hurt Gotham.

I mean Is this not already far more interesting than the “bestie” dynamic??

Following this and Hush, their relationship was shown to be on bad terms in the beginning of GCS. The “partnership” between the sirens was always meant to be temporary because Poison Ivy and Catwoman didn’t trust each other and Selina had ulterior motives for teaming up in the first place. Not to mention this whole book is just “Catwoman gets tortured, drugged, brainwashed and betrayed” 😭

But for some reason people think it’s a peak concept and want them all to be bestie weed smoking girlfriends bc they don’t have any context except the name and sexy covers. Who needs complexity?

The abuse is non stop in Sirens. Harley and Ivy torture Selina over Batman’s identity

Gotham City Sirens (2009) #2

Then she get’s kidnapped and mentally abused AGAIN for Bruce’s identity by Shrike and an old student of Ra’s Al Ghul. Because of this, Talia manages to convince an extremely gullible Zatanna, who was already in trouble for messing with memories, that the CATWOMAN the greatest thief in the world, is too easy to capture and needs to have the identity of the only man she loves (who VOLUNTARILY told her mind u) forcibly taken from her.

No, Talia doesn’t actually gaf abt “protecting Bruce’s identity” all of a sudden. This is specifically about eliminating a romantic rival and using a member of the JL to do it. Stupid.

Hating Gotham Sirens truly isn’t enough I need Selina get a gun and kill all the bitches in this book 😭

It wasn’t enough that they already tried to destroy ALL of Selina’s decades of character development by saying she was only a good person because Zatanna “fixed” her, they have to go ahead and rip away her memories of Bruce. Even the retcon of the spell only working because of Selina’s already existing good potential makes me FURIOUS bc what do you MEAN “She just couldn’t?” Without the mind theft???

CATWOMAN STOLE THINGS! And was NEVER on an evil team. WHY is she in the same conversation as villains like DR LIGHT my god why the fuck would the justice league want to mind wipe a young thief from Gotham this shit is so stupid

Anyway Zatanna, goes through with it again….

Zatanna then finds a memory of Selina and Talia that leads her to discovering she’s been played. About time.

They scrap for a second and Zatanna zaps her like a bug, Talia breaks her nose, Zatanna punches her in the face, and then Talia randomly fires missiles at Selina 😭 I hate this book man

It exploded and we see Ivy and Harley pretend to care for a second before it’s revealed she’s alive.

Zatanna returns Selina’s memories. But also offers to wipe her mind of Bruce with her consent this time. Selina rejects the offer, and things end rough between the two of them. Selina should have at least been allowed to curse everyone out tbh

Near the end of the series, we get to a point of what I think a good representation of the Sirens relationships should be like. Harley and Selina bond briefly over betrayal and love and are friendly enough. Selina and Ivy have a contentious alliance that ultimately breaks down.

After everything she’s been through, Selina “betrays” her “friends” and has them put in Arkham. Ivy is pissed and breaks herself and Harley out to kill Selina for revenge. All of this culminates into Selina explaining that She is the only reason the Bat hasn’t dealt with them himself and shes done nothing but try to help them, and we get this moment where Selina herself explains why “Gotham sirens” never made sense and was NEVER gonna work.

It ends with Selina once again dying on the cross for them as she lets them get away after attacking her and distracts Batman. If these two are supposed to be Selina’s “weed smoking girlfriends” as fanon says, then she is in an abusive ass relationship 😭

And modern Sirens content? Poison Ivy has been so defanged, Harley is Harley, and god help any character written around her, and Selina get’s mischaracterized as a selfish woman only out for herself (hq show Selina) While dc tries to give the anti-hero “villain with a heart” treatment to Poison Ivy and Harley Quinn.

Now apparently they’re going on space adventures in the new siren book. We’ve already known Dc has lost the plot when writing for Harley, but what are Ivy and Selina doing in space?! Why do we have to pause Catwoman’s already struggling solo for this slop that absolutely no one will be reading for the story 😭 It benefits none of these characters and only serves to regress Ivy and Catwoman once actually compelling relationship more.

Gotham City Sirens, they can never make me like you.

[thesupernaturalhouse]

So I cant.....I can't anymore, Stolas fucking sucks

Season 2 as a whole sucks and gets rid of a lot of character depth that characters had in s1. But this post isn't about that-

I was recording clips for an edit, and you know in ep9 s2 when Stolas tells Blitz about "you couldn't be bothered to come save me"

Yeah.....Blitz TOLD him why he was unable to go and save him. He was even genuinely concerned and sent milly and moxxie in his place

You wanna know what Blitz said??

"Ah shit Stolas I can't today- I'm sorry I am literally on my way to take loona in for her very important hellvis S-H-O-T" and "it takes years to book it, it took 5 for me to get this one"

Aka, a rabies shot, which, racist will immediately kill you. You DON'T survive that once you get it and symptoms start showing up, it's a death sentence, and considering Loona is basically a sentient/anthropomorphic dog, if she catches it her survival rate is probably 0 percent

And you know what? Stolas gets it, and then in ep9, "the one who tried to kill em and you couldn't be BOTHERED to come help me"

Bitch he told you?? He sent people in his place?? He was getting his kid a really important shot?? Yiu selfish motherfu-

I hate this bird

I hate this fucking bird so much more now

This is just the finale straw for me that breaks the camels back tbh like......

Apology tour is just, Stolas and the narritive/writing basically gaslighting Blitz and its gross

I liked Stolitz and Stolas in s1, it wasnt a healthy relationship. The circumstances for both characters weren't super good, but it understood that and actually showed those flaws, It set up these characters future arcs

Season 2 is, frankly, a shit show. It has its moments, but ep1 ruined Stolas and Stolitz for me, and it just keeps on getting worse and it isn't even in a way of "Oh its rough, but they can bounce back

This is gaslighting. This is hypocrisy. This is guilt tripping. This is abuse.

Instead of building off of season 1 it is retconning it, it is destroying the continuity and timeline, it's making these characters so much worse then what they were

Instead of having Stolas face actual consequences for his actions the narritive is backtracking and going "Oh actually its not his fault" over and over again

Oh he cheated in the marriage? No worries Stella is a bitch so it's okay

Oh, he's neglecting his daughter despite them already having this arc? Oh, it's fine she just needs to cut him some slack

Oh he constantly belittled Blitz and made him uncomfortable in season 1? Actually it was all of Blitzs fault for misreading the signs of love!

He is constantly shown looking down and abusing other imps like his butler? Oh its fine, they aren't the main characters so what he does to them isn't important!!

Another thing is that Blitz tells Stolas how he feels. He points out his shitty actions. And what does Stolas do? He fucking cries like Blitz is being a big ol means for no reason

This trial is just going to further victimize him and make him seem in the right. The fact the sins might even be brought into it is also so fucking stupid.

The writing went from a 8 to a 1 with the characters. And it's only a 1 here because there are some good ideas in s2.

Their basically trying to cover up, retcon, Stolas's actions instead of having him deal with consequences and go through real development

Honestly the best ending for Stolitz would be Blitz realizing Stolas is toxic as fuck to him and just, not contacting him again. Stolas could get some real consequences in that trial and move on and become better in his own right

Butttt of course since Viv likes them so much it's gonna be dragged on for fucking seasons and then their gonna get together.

If I were to rewrite the season, I wouldn't even try to rewrite Stolitz.

[lin-sterling]

DRIP POST 2: E for Everyone Edition

this time it's not a remake per se, it's a re-release lol. this time with handy-dandy item codes to enable you - yes, you! - to partake in my fashion obsession.

simply click on the name of the outfit and it will take you to my godforsaken google doc and show you the codes for that outfit. should show up at the top of the page (give it a sec). hopefully I haven't borked anything.

let me know if there are any issues.

drip post 3 is being cooked as we speak but it will take some time.

IMPORTANT

you need to install some mods

you need to enable the console

don't paste an entire cell of codes into the console, they'll get cut off and you won't get all the items. copy and paste about 2-3 lines at a time

my document has the necessary info but I'm also providing instructions under the cut.

there's an overlap between some outfits so you might get several copies of one item. in this case just yeet them on the floor and let some bum pick them up. or sell them. who am I to tell you what to do.

↓↓↓

the console:

right-click on KCD2 in your Steam library

choose 'Properties'

select 'Launch Options'

put -devmode in the launch options

launch the game and press the tilde (~) key

use ctrl+c and ctrl+v to copy and paste the codes, then just hit enter

the mods:

Refined Garments

Outer Garments

Custom Clothing and Armor

More flower wreaths (there's one outfit that needs this for now but there might be more later)

the drip:

Henry

Black Knight v1, cuirass inside

this is MY HENRY, iconic outfit, never gonna give you up never gonna let you down

2. Black Knight v2, cuirass outside

3. Guardian Angel

my Henry doesn't usually go for white or silver, he's black&gold kind of guy, but I decided we need one outfit

4. Trosky Traveller (before the waspening)

not fully happy with this outfit but it's already err a historical one, I've already gone through Trosky wearing it so I won't retcon it haha

5. THE WASPENING

same shit here, it's a piece of my playthrough history now. weird, bright yellow history

6. Leipa Simp

and now I make new history

7. Bluebell

wasn't expecting this one, it just sort of happened and I weirdly like it

8. Shifty Fella

is he trying to steal your wallet? is his back hurting? why not both!

9. Horse Thief

up to no good this guy. steal your heart, steal your horse, get 60 groschen for his trouble... wait, horse industry is a scam!

10. Armed and Armoured Robbery

can't shoot straight because he's on his way to bisexual awakening

11. Mushroom Enthusiast

those mushrooms won't gather themselves, you know! *cronch*

12. Falconer

all hail the birbs

13. Noble Bastard

when you need something fancy but not too difficult to pull off

14. Night Reader

casual comfy outfit with optional reading glasses. read a nice book at 3 am and watch your boyfriend as he sleeps!

15. Dubious Doctor

impersonating a medical professional during "Fifth Commandment"

16. Reverse Ball and Chain

when you miss a fucker so much you start wearing his colours. except the yellow gambeson you've found had aggressively magenta belts and you had to reverse the order of colours. I figured clown shoes were appropriate in this situation

17. That Mine Is Mine

impersonating a rich fuck during "Via Argentum". rich people wear golden armour, right?

note: actually wearing armour while talking to Buresh is not recommended. apparently it makes you look like a homeless vagabond lol

18. Red Wedding

this wedding also ended in a bloody mess

19. Nostalgic

kcd1 starting outfit colours but now Henry can afford better clothes

20. Dandelion Dance

what a surprise, more yellow shit

Pebbles and her codes are gonna be in the reblog

↓↓↓

[ms-cartoon]

I've been coming across a bunch of Hazbin spoilers and decided "screw it" and found the leaks to the full episodes. (I don't care how sensitive you leak haters are about it)

Of course, as expected, this show is already turning out to be trashy as I would expect it to be. Little retcons here and there, shitty writing, some crappy and pathetic characters who already lost whatever mojo they had back in the pilot, voice-acting is bitter as it will always be, etc.

There are a lot of issues with just these two eps, but I'm just gonna point out the ones that got my attention the most.

WARNING: THERE ARE SPOILERS/ MENTIONS OF HARRASMENT AND ALL THE 18+ BS.

-- Charlie- "Once upon a time, there was a glowing city protected by golden gates, known as Heaven. It was ruled by beings of pure light. Angels that worshipped good and shielded all from evil."

I beg to differ since it's established already that angels from heaven are nothing but fakes and are evil as hell, probably proud of it. Exhibit A: Adam and Sera. Now if they were anything like Frollo (someone who believes they are doing good but are not) I might be okay with it. Like say, they only resort to extermination because they're from heaven, they feel it is their job, and they have to do it even though it's wrong. Instead, however, I assume they exterminate because they just like to do it and they're evil like that. They probably have a feeling that some sinners are still good people on the inside and just don't care.

-- Charlie: As the numbers of Hell grew, so did its power. Threatened by this,

Heaven made a truly heartless decision that every year, they would send down an army an extermination to ensure Hell and its sinners could never rise against them.

I hear with my little ear another retcon!!

In the pilot, the only reason why extermination was a thing was because of overpopulation in hell. Now they're saying heaven is exterminating sinners cuz they're threatened by the overgrowing power and they don't want to be rebelled by it?? I going to guess that they only made this change so they can force evil on heaven while making Lucifer the innocent one. This is exactly what they did with Stella in the HB series where it was brought up that things were okay between her and Stolas only for the second season to say Stella hated Stolas the whole time they were together and treated him badly just so the writers can tell us viewers that she's evil.

Is this gonna be a thing now?

-- Angel: I'll have the horniest sinners knockin these walls down to get in!

This body was made to be exploited!

Seriously, guys, this is the same pervert we're supposed to feel bad for BECAUSE he's being exploited!

And leave it to Angel to completely miss the point of this hotel. What they want is to convince sinners to REDEEM themselves. Banging them is not a way to go about it, bud!

-- My predictions about Angel being a sex joke are correct. I'm mean- they've always been correct, I'm just saying I had a feeling they were going to show it off more in the show.

-- Vaggie: "No, we can't force sinners to stay here. They need to choose to."

Angel Dust: "Well, I chose to stay here and I think it's all stupid."

No shit- The only reason why u agreed to stay is for the free rent. So don't go marking yourself as a good example.

-- I don't totally have a problem with this show being a musical as long as the timing is right. Charlie is so quick to tell Vaggie about a meeting she'll participate in and is excited about, but before Vaggie can even question it and talk to her, Charlie immediately starts singing without even hearing Vaggie out. They kinda rushed this musical number a little too quickly. Which only goes to show how fast-paced this episode is. It's always fast-pacing with these shows.

-- I have the sudden urge to jump inside this show and beat the ever-loving crap outta Angel if keeps on moaning and getting horny . . .

-- Angel continuously flirts and touches an obviously uncomfortable Husk and fans are going to look at this as "cute" while I look in annoyance and disgust. And once again, this is the same guy we're supposed to feel bad for because he has a pimp who inflicts the same actions that he does and fans will choose to ignore it.

-- Adam is practically the most irritating character in this series so far. I was right with what I said about him before. For someone who's supposed to be an angel he sure as hell doesn't act like it. The whole time he's on screen, he's just making jokes, ridiculing the hell out of Charlie, and not listening to her at all. Continuously cussing and talking about dicks??? He has the most cringiest dialogue ever and I had the urge to skip it every time he's on screen. Something tells me he and Lute should switch positions since she seems more professional.

-- Charlie: Sinners make mistakes, but everyone makes mistakes.

Charlie, I know where you're trying to get at sweetheart, but I really hope you don't include all the rapists, murderers, abusers, and pedophiles down below. Do you really think they qualify as someone who can be redeemed? If so, I would have to side with the angels here despite their antagonistic behavior. I would understand trying to rehab drug addicts, alcoholics, robbers, etc. but definitely not the former.

Now that I think about it, Charlie is kind of acting like Viv in this scenario where she tries to excuse these criminalistic behaviors most of her characters committed when they really don't deserve anything good happening to them. That's like trying to redeem Valentino for pimping and abusing Angel Dust. Do we really think Val is capable of redemption??

Sorry to burst your bubble Ms. Morningstar, but the angels are in the right here. Hell exists for a reason and people who do bad things and like to do bad things deserve to be there. I wouldn't bother trying to rehab sinners who don't deserve it or are not going to try to fix their behavior.

-- Lute: Angels don't make mistakes . . .

Then what does that say about Lucifer? He was an angel who caused some actions that you guys would count as mistakes therefore expelling him from heaven. You guys never even attempted to exterminate him yet.

-- I'm sorry, I don't like Brandon Rogers as Killjoy. It's literally just a demon version of one of his characters. It's nothing original like the pilot.

So that is what I think about the first episode. If I forget to mention something, i'll just edit the post. Won't be too long before I make some comments about the second one, but for now, the gist of everything is . . . it's bleh.

If you have any questions, feel free to ask me!!