#basically texts

[dressuparley]

epilogueposting in my irl friends' whatsapp group chat where nobody cares bc my future grandkids have taken over my entire life and i physically cannot shut up abt them. ffxiv you were supposed to be a GAME to me. what the hell is all this???!!

edited on 10/04/2025: mandira's name has been changed to kimara bc mandira was giving too much real-life-traditional-indian-name and i finally found an alternative i'm happy with. good fucking luck to me having to wrangle with the tags even more 👍👍👍

edited on 21/04/2025: kimara's name is now elora. let's see how long this lasts lmfao

[bruciemilf]

Bruce truly hates magic with every pump and beat of his heart.

What kinda curse is Slang, anyway?

“This is the best day of my life.”

“Bro really thought he ate with that.” Bruce physically feels a full body shiver, charged with nausea and cringe. “This is level 10 cringe. Can’t have shit in Gotham.”

Dick is his earth bound angel, but he laughs like a demon at him, holding onto Jason for support, pledging his eternal loyalty to Zatana and her pettiness.

—

“Hey, old bat, hook me up with an adrenaline shot.”

What he wants to say is Jay, do not try and fight with 6 bullets in your stomach.

What comes out instead, through Bruce’s grit teeth and intense, fierce glaring, “Not you trying to go back to your corpse era. See how I only took 2 shots? Very demure. Very mindful.”

Jason passes out from blood loss, but mostly laughter.

—

“Chat, is this real?”

Stephanie barely bites back a full belly cackle. “I think he just asked us if we copied.”

“I wish I was Jason, 15.”

—

“This is not a slay environment. Killing is flop behavior.” He keeps his eyes shut and buries his face in his hands. Trying to convince Damian not to stab someone doesn’t seem to work.

Damian gives him a pat like he’s a pitiful cat. “I’ll only stab the non lethal areas.”

“God, I wish that were me.”

[mynnthia]

was talking with a friend about how some of dunmeshi fаndom misunderstands kabru's initial feelings towards laios.

to sum up kabru's situation via a self-contained modernized metaphor:

kabru is like a guy who lost his entire family in a highly traumatic car accident. years later he joins a discord server and takes note of laios, another server member who seems interesting, so they start chatting. then laios reveals his special interest and favorite movie of all time is David Cronenberg's Crash (1996), and invites kabru to go watch a demolition derby with him

[starii-void]

going to chb must be crazy like imagine sharing a camp with

-one of the strongest demigods ever who's saved the world like at least 3 times, fought multiple gods & titans and WON (and is a tartarus survivor)

-the literal main architect of OLYMPUS who's also saved the world multiple times (also tartarus survivor)

-THE lord of the wild who's also close friends with the first two (and has helped save the world multiple times)

-an emo kid from the 1930s who again helped save the world and is also a tartarus survivor (TWICE)

-a son of apollo who survived tartarus with nothing but cargo shorts and sheer will (pun intended)

-the main designer and builder for the argo II, also the first hephaestus kid to have fire powers since hundreds of years ago (did i mention killed gaea? no? yeah he did that too)

-a girl who somehow charmspeak-ed gaea into falling back asleep (also side note daughter of super famous actor because why not)

-pretty much everybody is a two-time war veteran

-THE GOD APOLLO who just sometimes comes down to visit in the form of a teenage boy

-did i mention dionysus, god of wine madness and theatre

-also chiron, trainer of pretty much every greek hero ever

[metaphoricalmonster]

* and, just out of view, just perfectly out of view, * another hand pressed against yours * and pushed you back

[jack-abbot]

"Let's make it worth it."

DIEGO LUNA as CASSIAN ANDOR in Andor, Season 2 first look

[batshaped]

the continued adventures of an internet user who was frozen in 2004 and defrosted in 2021: some things are just the way you left them

previous 2004 internet user comics are here: one, two, three, four, five; or just in my 2004 tag

[morganaconda]

[copingchaos]

The IDF is counting on people to not have any critical thinking skills at this point

[stars-obsession-pit]

John Constantine sighed loudly, interrupting the discussion in the meeting room. He rubbed his forehead, clearly looking like he wanted to light a cigarette.

“Well, I do know someone who could probably help, but it’ll be… awkward.”

Zatanna raised an eyebrow. “Another jilted lover?”

John scowled. “I’ve pissed people off for far more than just sleeping with ‘em, you know. But… yes.”

Batman butted in, “And you’re sure they’ll help?”

“Hopefully.”

“That doesn’t reassure me,” Flash remarked snidely.

John opened his mouth to rebuke Flash’s words, but Wonder Woman spoke up first. “It’s still better than nothing. Unless they’re likely to attack you.” She turned towards John. “…Are they likely to attack you?”

“Nah, Clockwork ain’t the type. And a few years won’t have changed that.” John paused, then sighed again. “Anyway… give me a couple hours and I should be able to set up a summoning circle. Even if he doesn’t show up immediately, he should be able to feel it.”

When they reconvened, John stood in front of a decidedly unimpressive looking ritual circle, wearing a strange medallion.

“Really? That’s it? You’re sure this guy is powerful enough to deal with this?”

“Fuck off. I told you we’d dated, of course I have a leg up in contacting him. It wouldn’t work if you tried this.”

“Is everything ready?” Batman cut off further arguing.

“Yeah, should be.”

John uncorked a small vial of a glowing fluid and downed it in one gulp, grimacing. Clearing his throat, he turned around and began to chant. Except instead of words, what came from his mouth was an sibilant hiss of static, like a radio tuned to dead air.

At first, not much appeared to happen, but then the world began to slow down, the colors graying further and further as the effect intensified. Only Constantine seemed untouched, continuing his chant unabated.

Suddenly, time seemed to skip like an old record, and the effect was gone. Blinking away the haze from their eyes, the gathered heroes noticed a new figure in the room.

A baby.

Everyone turned to stare at John Constantine, silently demanding answers to the same question.

“Did you seriously have a kid with a godlike being and then abandon them?”

[halflifebutawesome]

5 YEARS ?!?!?!!!!

[dressuparley]

so insane abt the dynamic between thancred and arvinn (my oc—his and arley's adopted son) and how the weird internalized sexism makes thanky behave so differently with his son vs with his daughter that it's actually got me writing shit. too bad it'll probably have to be retconned when i reach ew but y'know what, i'll take it

anyways. tfw the Character has deep-rooted self-worth and other psychological issues (in thancred's case his guilt over losing minfilia will never stop haunting him) that actually manifest in the way they interact with those around them. immaculate. you understand

[butchersprophet]

[patopq]

i cant help myself, more jester

[little--leaves]

need someone to squeeze my waist and pull me closer against their body every morning in bed

[lulu-honey]

The craziness of people saying that Buffy didn't love Spike ... Not only does she say it and "mean it" as per the stage directions but she says it half a season earlier!

"Still in love with Spike"?!

STILL IN LOVE WITH SPIKE?!!

A Freudian slip on screen means it is fully intentional. Someone wrote it, someone said it, multiple takes were filmed, it was left in the edit. Buffy has been IN LOVE with Spike for a while - and definitely not in the same way she loves her friends.