#gel timer

[therapyshoppe]

Seasons Sensory Fidget Tubes

[girlwithrituals]

GLOW UP GUIDE FOR 2025⠀

READ: On average, it takes more than 2 months before a new behavior becomes automatic — 66 days to be exact. And considering that 2025 is precisely these many days away, why not start with our glow up plan already?

Physical Glow Up-

BODY

— 5-10K steps a day.

— 7-8 hours of sleep.

— workout everyday for 1 hr atleast- yoga/stretching/pilates/cardio/lifting weights. a workout may take one hour, but your mood will be boosted for the next 12 hours.

— posture training.

— sunlight exposure after waking up for at least 10 minutes.

NUTRITION

— 2-3 liters of water every day.

— limit your caffeine intake.

— avoid sugars as much as you can.

— high protein diet, pre and probiotics.

— more fruits and veggies (+ green smoothies if you like).

— no junk/processed food/trans fat.

— no eating after 8 pm.

SKINCARE

— be clear on your skin type (oily, dry, combination, sensitive).

— once you're clear, use these accordingly- cleanser, toner, targeted serum, eye cream, moisturizer, sunscreen (≥50 spf).

— keep your bedding clean as well.

— no picking of skin on your lips, cuticle etc.

— gua sha to help improve blood circulation and lessen toxins.

— cold therapy may take three to five minutes of being uncomfortable, but your energy levels will be boosted for the rest of the day.

— remove makeup before you go to bed.

BODY CARE

— shower every day.

— exfoliate 2x a week.

— use body lotion (shea butter/aloe vera gel/coconut oil).

HAIR CARE

— wash hair 2-3x a week

— oil your scalp 2x a week, at least 3 hours before shampoo.

— hair mask 1x per week.

— never brush wet hair.

— use silk pillow case.

HYGIENE

— brush your teeth 2x a day, clean tongue and the roof of the mouth daily.

— floss daily.

— cut your nails 1x a week, never remove the cuticles.

— glycolic acid under arm for odor and discoloration.

— never use soap on your coochie.

Mental Glow Up-

MINDSET

— set clear goals- define and breakdown your aspirations.

— start your mornings with positive affirmations.

— surround yourself with uplifting content and people.

— be shamelessly selfish to your career and mental health, remove anyone or anything that doesn't align with your priorities and wellbeing.

— boost your brain health by these 4 neuroscience tools:

difficult first: start your day with the most difficult task (cortisol and dopamine are high in the body meaning that your body/mind is primed to work).

rest your eyes: introduce a micro-pause after learning by resting/closing your eyes - will help retain information better.

tomorrow's worries: write tomorrow's to-do list before bed as it is proven to be effective in helping you fall asleep.

find time to play: engage in low-stake play. can be anything you find fun but where the outcome doesn't matter (induces neuroplasticity + reduces stress).

MIND

— meditation might take as low as ten minutes, but your focus will be improved for the rest of the day.

— no social media after waking up and at least an hour before bed.

— keep aside 1 hr of time to read daily! reading a new book may take five hours, but you will keep the knowledge forever.

— journaling, gratitude.

— digital detox once a week or for 12 hours.

— limit unnecessary screentime, unfollow or cut off people you don't want to see.

JOURNALING

— choose a regular time each day to journal, making it a part of your routine.

— find a quiet, comfortable place free from distractions. light a candle if you want.

— allow your thoughts to flow without censoring or editing.

— write about your feelings and emotions to understand them better. write about things you are thankful for to boost your mood. write about your short-term and long-term goals. identify what triggers certain emotions or reactions

— set a timer for 5-10 minutes and write continuously during that time.

— reflect on both positive experiences and challenges.

— make lists, journal your thoughts on these questions.

— journal at night to clear your mind before bedtime, because emotions and thoughts lose their power once we acknowledge them.

— a gratitude practice may take five minutes, but your mindset will be shifted for the rest of the day.

AFFIRMATIONS

— customise affirmations to your needs.

Personal Life-

WEEKLY TASKS

— initiate small changes: begin with small, manageable tasks such as making your bed or cleaning your room every sunday.

— celebrate your success: reward yourself when you achieve your goals or have a consistently productive week. consider treats like buying flowers for yourself or watching your favorite show.

DAILY WORK

— set achievable goals: establish realistic goals for the day, week, or month ahead.

— track your progress.

— organise your work space, declutter your shelves etc.

— embrace the power of lists: keep a list of tasks to be done and their deadlines. this way, you start each day with a clear plan. to make it visually appealing and motivating, consider using productivity apps like evernote, habit tracker, or notion.

PRODUCTIVITY TIPS

— wake up early.

— plan ahead everything, do scheduling. you can use:

google calendar / notion / tasks .

— if the task takes less than 2 minutes to finish, do it immediately.

— countdown rule, if you are procrastinating, count 1-2-3-4-5 and jump.

— start slow, don't rush and try to do everything at one time.

— follow a proper routine, use app locks based on screentime.

— pomodoro technique, 25 min work, and 5 min break.

— schedule longer break times as well e.g 30 min nap.

[kakao-lovey]

𝑯𝒐𝒘 𝒕𝒐 𝒆𝒎𝒃𝒐𝒅𝒚 '𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒈𝒊𝒓𝒍' 𝒘𝒉𝒊𝒍𝒆 𝒔𝒕𝒖𝒅𝒚𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒇𝒐𝒓 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒅𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒎 𝒍𝒊𝒇𝒆

If you're like me, and you cannot wait to combine the studyblr, wonyoungism and it girl communities to make the best cocktail on planet Earth, welcome to my blog! Make yourself comfortable!

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

Organisation = peace

Get yourself a planner, stick in all your to-do lists, make a vision board cover, write in everything you need to remember, want to think about or must complete. Or, get a Notion, make it aesthetic and build the habit of opening it every day. Use lots of light, blush pinks and pastel greens, make a colour-code and treat yourself to highlighters in your favourite colour combos. The better of an overview you have of your life, the less anxiety and stress the unknown brings you. Protect your peace.

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

Take time to rest

Make some matcha, reapply lip gloss, tidy your desk, let your hair down. Do some stretching or sit in the sun for some vitamin D. Put on classical music and write in your diary, decorate with pink highlighter and gold gel-pen stars. Make your timetable on Canva in your favourite aesthetic. Jog or jump rope to get your heart rate up, feel energised and refreshed.

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

Atmosphere

Light that vanilla-scented candle, get yourself a warm drink and some almonds, or grapes, or cookies. Put on some pink noise or soft instrumentals. Let the sunlight in. Put on a study with me, or a cute pomodoro timer on Youtube. Lay out your work and pens neatly.

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

Do your absolute best

Listen in class, make pretty notes. Sit up straight, ask and answer questions. Girl, just do your assignments the day they are assigned. Keep a spotless homework record. Use pink flashcards, do your past papers, write practice essays about things and stories you love. Keep your head up high, even if your grades don't match your standards. Keep improving and growing.

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

Why?

Study because you like expensive things. Study because you have a dream. Study because you yearn for knowledge. Do it because you love yourself and won't settle for anything but the best future. Do it for your family, so one day you can take your parents to Rome or Paris. Give your best so that your teachers can feel proud of themselves. Learn because you want to, not because you have to.

[malum-forev]

First Trimester

(This is a short drabble I couldn’t get out of my head, idk what this is lol)

Bucky kept his head in his hands, eyes closed tightly. His breath ragged.

He could hear Steve’s loud footsteps pacing the room while Sam stood rooted in place. He could hear his friends’ heartbeats thumping rapidly.

“And you two-“ Steve couldn’t get the words out.

“That’s usually how that happens.” Sam retorted sarcastically.

Steve’s hands shot up. ��I’m just trying to understand how this happened!”

“Looks like I should have had the birds and the bees conversation with both of you.” Sam rolled his eyes.

“What am I going to do?” Bucky croaked, his throat dry and scratchy. The question was mostly for himself, wondering just how he would manage everything happening in his life.

“You aren’t going to do anything.” Sam ran his hand over his face. “Before you go into crisis mode like a chicken running with its head chopped off, you need to make sure it’s yours.”

Bucky’s eyes snapped open.

“Sam-“ Steve’s cautious tone only made the Falcon more angry.

“Here’s what we know,” Sam’s voice was firm. “You two have got super soldier serum running through your veins, it changed your bodies drastically. Which obviously means your swimmers were altered, doctors told you the probabilities of you two getting someone knocked up are zero.”

“Close to zero.” Steve corrected.

“Whatever,” Sam rolled his eyes again. “Now- this one goes around the tri state are area banging anything with legs.”

Buckys cheeks burned red.

“Two months later, someone comes around saying they’ve got a super soldier baby brewing- does that not sound shady to anyone else?”

Steve rubbed his hand against his chin. “When did Dr. Cho say she could get a paternity test?”

“Two weeks.” Bucky whispered.

“Then these are going to be the most stressful two weeks of your life, kid.” Steve slumped his shoulders.

She hadn’t let the crippling nervousness seep into her body, work, friends and exhaustion had been great distractors. But now, as the steel gates of the Avengers compound opened she felt it.

She was the one who had encouraged a paternity test when she knocked on Bucky’s door weeks ago.

She hadn’t thought twice about missing her period the first month. Long hours at the art gallery we’re to blame, right? But as the days turned into weeks and the strange knot in her throat tightened, she decided to take a test.

Not thinking anything would pop up except the not pregnant label on the plastic test, she left it on the counter and forgot about it. That is, until a three minute timer rang and the scariest word ever written was staring at her. Pregnant.

(Y/n) waited a full week before visiting a gynecologist. Some gel, and ultrasound and some probing later, she was pregnant and that was that. She didn’t even register the bean sized blob on the screen. A muffled sound replaced the cheery doctor’s voice.

“Is Dad excited?” The young doctor smiled. Dad, fuck there’s a dad that needs to be notified.

(Y/n felt as if she’d stuffed a handful of gravel down her throat. She nodded weakly and lied. “He’s ecstatic.”

What she should have said is: he’s terrified.

When Bucky saw (Y/n)’s text on his phone, he’s ego shot up. He whistled as he prepared some eggs that morning, thinking highly of himself.

I don’t usually go back for seconds but I guess I can make an exception. Bucky thought as he shaved his face that morning. He wore a pair of grey sweatpants and a tight shirt, a combination he’d read online was the bee’s knees for getting women riled up these days.

But there might as well have been nothing underneath those boxers he was wearing because the shocking news killed any kind of vibe he had been feeling.

(Y/n) rocked backwards and forwards nervously as she stood in his living room. She didn’t even want to come in but he’d insisted. Now, Bucky was slumped back on his couch with his eyes set on the floor.

“I know this sounds strange-“ she swallowed. “But I don’t usually do what we did, I don’t do one night stands. I love relationships which is why my friends convinced me to sleep with you- not that I needed convincing you’re like so hot but you know what I mean. Well, I guess you don’t know what I mean because you barely know me, barely know I exist.”

“You love relationships?” Bucky’s eyes widened.

“I-well- shit- I shouldn’t have said that. It sounds-“ You sighed deeply, trying to collect her thoughts. “What I’m trying to say is that, you’re the only person I’ve had sex with in- a long time. And I want you to know that I’m not telling you this to make you feel like you have to be involved- that is if we decide to keep it. I just thought you should know that I’m pregnant.”

She tried to make her voice sound firm and confident but her whole body rejected the idea. There was nothing she was more afraid of than this. This life altering decision.

“And you’re thinking of keeping it.” He whispered, blue eyes staring back at her.

(Y/n) nodded slowly then shook her head. “I don’t know. Yes, maybe. I have a stable job, pretty decent insurance and a nice apartment downtown so, I’ve got the basics covered. I’ve always wanted children, not now but- I don’t know.”

“I’m also aware this is insane news so, I understand if you need time to process or decide if you want to- be involved, I guess.”

Bucky slowly nodded. She wrapped her cardigan closer to her body and his whole body jerked up, standing from the couch.

“Ar-are you, showing?” Bucky’s curious tone made her lips tweak upwards.

“It‘s been like two months and it’s the size of a bean so, no.” She tried to lighten the mood.

“You’ve been to the doctor?”

She nodded. “She told me I could have a paternity test done in a couple of weeks, if that’s something you’re interested in.”

Paternity test- paternity. Those words didn’t even seem real to Bucky. It had been such a distant thing that the thought hadn’t registered in his mind yet.

“I’ve got a couple of doctors that would probably know how to handle that-“ he said pointing to her stomach. “With the whole, serum and everything. Would you mind if I talked to them?”

“I don’t mind, whatever’s better for bean, right?”

Bucky’s body was enveloped in a foreign feeling. So different than anything he’d felt before, an unsettling feeling in his stomach that brought goosebumps to his skin.

“The bean?” Bucky furrowed his eyebrows.

“Not the bean. Just, bean.” Her cheeks burned and a smile developed on her lips. “The doctor said it’s going to be a while until I can find out the sex so, I’ve been calling it that. Bean.”

“Bean.” Bucky repeated quietly, fighting from letting out a smile. He couldn’t let himself get involved, not before a decision was made. Did he want to be in bean- the baby’s life? Was he even the father?

(Y/n) and Bucky walked through the white corridors at the Avengers med bay in silence.

Both of them stopped at an opened door.

“You sure you don’t want to come in and check I don’t switch up the viles, rig the paternity results?” She regretted the joke as soon as the words flew out of her mouth. Bucky’s blue eyes widened. She had tried to lighten the mood but the only thing she succeeded was to make Bucky uncomfortable-

“Good thinking,” Bucky’s lips twitched upwards. “I’m sure having my old ass sperm in there was your plan all along.”

She couldn’t help a giggle escape her mouth. Bucky placed his hand on her lower back and lead her into the room.

He held her hand through the procedure and followed her back to her car after everything was done.

“I guess I’ll call you once the results are in.” Bucky bit his bottom lip as she nodded, the tired look on (Y/n) worried him. “I just wanted to say, again, how grateful I am you’re being so cooperative.”

(Y/n) saluted him. “Anything for our troops.”

Bucky tipped his head back with laughter. “Please let me know when you get home safe.”

—

Her feet ached, scratch that, her whole body hurt. (Y/n) usually worked a double shift on Sunday’s to get double pay since that was the day rich people usually liked to shop at the gallery. Even though this was routine for her, she felt extremely tired this time. Pregnancy was starting to take a toll on her body.

(Y/n) heard the rain patter intensify as someone opened the glass doors.

“H-hi.” Was all she heard.

“We’re closed.” She called out but no one answered.

A sopping wet Bucky stood at the front of the gallery.

“Looks like you need to buy an umbrella.” She smiled.

“I’m going to be a dad.” The words came out stuttered, like he was trying to stop them.

Bucky stopped talking the second he received the email. DNA test result came back positive. He was the father. A father. That word echoed through his mind all day but he didn’t tell anyone a single thing, not until he could figure out how to manage the information. Steve would try to find solutions, Sam would freak out, Nat would laugh and Tony would probably ignore him. Each and every one of his friends’ reactions would stress him out more than he already was. He had no one, no one to talk to about this. Except her.

(Y/n) sighed deeply, taking her heels off and walking towards him. Without saying anything, she wrapped her arms around his neck and brought Bucky close to her. The tension he felt between his shoulder blades disappeared the second he was in her arms.

She softly held his face in her hands. “I haven’t decided anything and we still have time to figure out wether or not we want to keep bean-“

“Bean, oh God bean.” Becky’s eyes met hers. I can’t let bean down. He thought.

“I understand if you don’t want to go through with this.”

“Look at me.” Bucky’s voice was hoarse. “I need you to know that I want this- I want bean so much you have no idea. The thought of me having a kid was so lost but you’ve- I- I am forever grateful and indebted with you, you have no idea.”

(Y/n) smiled. “So we’re doing this? We’re having a baby?”

“Let’s have a baby.” He said.

Part 2: Second Trimester

[leashybebes]

🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸 💙😘

21 sentences (i think) of vampire tommy being intensely, immediately weird about buck. cw for murder fantasy, blood, y'know, vampire stuff.

The timer goes off and it's the worst thing that's happened to Tommy in his long, long life. It feels like only seconds have gone past. He licks his lips, his own fangs, chasing down every tiny taste of that perfect, indescribable blood that he can find.

In his mind he pictures extending a full thrall for the first time in a hundred years, pictures Evan going pliant and hazy-eyed, baring his throat, imagines drinking his fill, the way Evan would smile as his heart beat faster and then slower, slower, slower, pumping every drop in his body into Tommy's waiting mouth. There would be consequences, of course, but he thinks it would be worth it, to gorge himself on Evan. He digs his nails into his palms and counts to ten.

"Do you want me to heal you?" he asks, hoping like hell Evan will say yes. Lots of humans, even those who donate, are squeamish about it, preferring the coagulant gel.

"Sure, thanks," Evan says.

Tommy uses the tip of one fang to cut into the meaty pad of his thumb, smearing the resulting beads of blood onto the wound on the inside of Evan's elbow. He pictures his own blood inside Evan, mingling with that blissful taste, a tiny little piece of ownership. He feels a little dizzy with how much he wants more, all of it, immediately.

"What are you reading?" he asks.

"Oh," Evan says, and reaches out for his book, turning it over to show Tommy the cover.

Packing for Mars, Tommy reads. The curious science of life in the void.

"You like non-fiction?" he asks.

Evan shrugs. "I like learning new things."

Tommy is unbelievably charmed. He feels replete, nourished, like he could bask in Evan's presence like a lizard on a rock and finally feel warm.

[damiansgoodgirll]

hi, I love your blog! especially your Damian x reader stories.

could you do a super fluffy, soft, Damian x fem!reader where reader comes home from work super tired and Damian helps her bath, change her clothes, and tells her a memory they share together as they fall asleep please❤️

damian priest x reader

‼️mention of nudity but no actual smut

taking care of you

you just had the hardest week of your life.

two of your colleagues were sick so you had to do your job and theirs, you were barely home and everytime you came back, damian was out training or on the road with rhea.

you weren’t properly taking care of yourself too. quick showers, eating a lot of take outs, watching movies to help you fall asleep but ending staying awake because you couldn’t fall asleep, lacking hours of sleep and surviving with coffees and sugary drinks.

damian knew you were tired.

he saw it everytime he faced time you. he saw it when he came back home from travelling and you fell asleep on the couch still in your work clothes and with your favourite show on.

he just wanted to make you feel better.

you, on the other hand, couldn’t wait for saturday night to come so you could just rest all sunday.

so when saturday night came, you left your office and hopped in your car, driving your way home. once inside, you kicked your shoes off somewhere in the room and sat down on the couch.

damian was in the kitchen when he heard you.

“hey love” he smiled seeing you sitting on the couch.

“hey” you tiredly smiled back.

his heart ached seeing you like that. he told you so many times to quit working, that it wasn’t worth it, especially for the many hours you worked and the little wage you gained but you couldn’t stand the idea of not working, of not having your independency and having to depend from damian. he told you that he didn’t matter, that he was happy to provide for you, that he wanted for you to live your life, relax and travel but you still didn’t like the idea.

but you reached a point where you couldn’t handle it anymore.

“do you want me to cook something for you? we can order take out if you want” he proposed, softly kissing your hands.

“thanks…i’m not that hungry now…i just want to take a hot bath and sleep for 24 hours” you chuckled.

“okay” he sat up “come with me…” and you silently followed him. his hands led you towards the bathroom door and you watched him as he got a hot bath ready for you. you told him it wasn’t necessary, that he had a hard week too and that he had to relax but you were quickly silenced with a “nonsense my dear, i want to do this for you…”

so he helped you getting undressed, he gently removed your make up and he tied your hair up knowing that you recently washed it and he helped you inside the hot tub.

his hands covered in shower gel and lotion, while sitting on the edge, he gently massaged your back, making you shiver under his touch “you like this hermosa?” he asked you and you simply nodded.

“lay back a little mi amor” and you did as he told you. he washed your collarbone, your breast, your stomach. he helped you washing your legs too and the soft touches near your vagina almost made you tremble. there was no shame between the two of you. you were beyond past that time. counting all the times you took care of him after a hard show or showered him after a long training, but his hands, touching you there always made you feel good.

he chuckled when he saw your expression change “not now mi amor…even if you are so tempting, i want you to relax your body and mind, we have all the weekend together” you couldn’t help but agree with him.

“thank you damian…” your soft voice thanked him.

he saw how tired you were, even your voice shifted a little.

“is the water still warm?” he asked and you nodded “perfect, why don’t i set a timer and you sleep for a little while i cook something for you to eat? is there anything in particular you would like to eat? i know you said you aren’t hungry but you gotta eat something mi amor” his hand gently caressed your cheek.

“can you make me those toast that i love so much? the ones with cheddar and bacon? you make them so good” you asked him and he laughed, agreeing with you.

“yeah, they are pretty good” he smiled “of course i can make them…you stay here and sleep for a little, i’ll wake you up when they’re ready” and so he let you sleep for about fifteen minutes before waking you up.

he helped you changing in a clean t-shirt and underwear and he led you towards the bedroom “i know you don’t like eating in bed but we can make an exception for tonight” he said and you smiled when you saw everything he got ready for you.

your toast and some fries were waiting for you on the bed with your favourite drink too. there were fluffy blankets everywhere and your favourite show on tv ready to be watched.

“you didn’t have to do all of this for me…”

“i wanted to. you’ve been taking care of me for so many years that i wanted to do something nice for you too, you deserve this and way more y/n, tr amo” he smiled kissing your lips softly.

you enjoyed the rest of the night eating and falling asleep in arms, exactly where you felt safe the most.

[dreamofhircine]

SNAPSHOT

When you signed the contract with Pinnacle Transport & Logistics it was because it was the only thing hiring that could get you off-colony sooner than a year out without indenturing yourself in the process. Mercenary companies were like that, high turnover for low to moderately skilled labor. It was a good deal.

PT&L wasn't one of the big five but they held contracts for a handful of systems, a few up and coming colonies. Nothing too impressive but they were recruiting a lot, manning up for something bigger. They were even paying better than mine day labor rates just to come in and get tested at their portside offices.

You went because you could use the money even if they didn't sign you, even if they said you weren't worth the cost to take into orbit. The staff was professionally cold and efficient, never sparing a word that wasn't part of the script they must have memorized. They spent hours hooking you up to electrodes, running scans and tests and endless aptitude batteries after you'd checked in. More needles and probes than you'd ever had in you before, eyes looking hungrier and hungrier behind their splash-guard visors the longer they continued.

Eventually you passed. You passed so well that someone in a suit came down before you even had a chance to wipe the electrode signa-gel off or change back into your jumpsuit and she came with a thick stack of paperwork and a few digital pads with it all laid out for you to sign, review optional.

It seemed like good terms with a quick scan. An indefinite contract but both parties could cancel as necessary, operational conditions permitting. A signing bonus that would have been a year's wages in the mine. A salary even the techs at Colonial Admin would have jumped over to private for and room and board that didn't come out of your pay. They were even offering medical coverage.

You signed. You barely read beyond the summary sheets. You didn't negotiate, too worried that this was a joke and they'd drop the punchline on you if you didn't dry the ink fast enough or sign the digital seals before some unseen timer ran out. The corporate rep just smiled the whole time and said that with your scores, you qualified for a special new program they were recruiting for, something better than the augmented infantry or aerospace fighters PT&L featured on all their sizzle reel ads.

They were standing up an experimental mech corps, a new kind of pilot for a new kind of machine. Faster to train, easier to use, a totally new generation of tech but much harder to find physiologically compatible pilots. There were surgeries, she said, augments they'd need to make to your body. To your brain. Things that would make you and your machine sync together like your brain and your body does.

You'd heard of something like that, the political fanatics on the edge of the Economic Zone of Control were supposed to use things like that. WARSPRITES, or S-MAGs, the rumors were spotty and the corporate news never ran any stories about them but word traveled far down the transit lanes, packed right along with the workers tending the mineral trades.

The corporate rep and a new batch of technicians in surgical gowns so white and unblemished that they almost hurt to look at sat you back down in the exam room after you signed, techs swarming around and fitting you for a new kind of probe. Electrodes and sensors all around your skull, digital goggles over your eyes. She said it was the first step, a 'neural snapshot' that she needed to have recorded for your medical records before the rest of the processing began.

It started quick, once you were settled in. No fanfare, just a sharp prick at your neck and then there were lights. Flashing, bright, pulsing. Warmth and stillness flowing out from the pinpoint in your neck, rolling down into your limbs like hot sap. You heard something like bells in the distance, a tapping or clicking or snapping getting louder as the flashes got brighter and started to sear into your eyes, into your brain, burning hot and painful. White light, white noise, thunderous, roiling, boiling up and up and then nothing. Then nothing. Then nothing.

The first thing you notice when the goggles come up is how cold you are, like a chill had snuck into your bones while you blinked. Your hand is shaking but you can't reach over to still it, bound by too-tight straps to the chair. To a different chair than before.

"Welcome back to us, Pilot Registration Number PTL-7954. I understand that you're very disoriented right now, " a voice begins saying, too loud and too abrasive in your suddenly very sensitive ears. As the blurry edges of your vision clears away you start to see the figure, someone new and unfamiliar.

Everyone was new. Sterile white labcoats swapped out for strikingly bright orange cleanroom suits, faces all obscured behind masks & goggles with mirror-finish tint as they work around the room at beeping, flashing panels or circle around you taking notes. "But we really must get through this."

You start to form a question, but a raised finger from the technician in front of you catches it in your throat. "In accordance with the New Oslo Corporate Armistice Settlement all neurologically augmented combat-rated employees, " They rattle off from a tablet, before pausing.

"That means you, of course, are to restored to the earliest viable neurological engram to be offered a chance to voluntarily end their current service contract." Bored, droning, like reading a weather report. "I can answer questions you have, but please make a decision quickly."

Your mind is still moving slow, hazy, stumbling. You heard the words but they meant nothing. Your hand is still shaking and you try to focus on it, look away from the stranger and catch your bearings again. Center on something familiar. The whole room is different. And cold. Your hand is different too. Studded now with implants. And cold.

There are ports, scars, burns, scratchy little tattoos across your hands and forearm disappearing up into the sleeves of a green medical gown you don't remember putting on. A machine nearby is beeping, starting off some quickly muffled alarm. Your breath is fast and ragged.

You tear your eyes away from your arm. Even just that had been too much, the phantom kickback too great. You're so skinny. Gaunt and pale and wounded in ways you can feel are old, bone deep and part of you now. The technician starts up again after sharing glances with the screen. "This neural engram is from your initial indoc, about twenty years ago."

That hits like a fist to the gut, and they didn't even pause to let it sink in for you. Business as usual. "You've had ten years active, ten years on ice. Your record is actually very impressive for an earlier cadre like you, it's probably why Allied Interorbital Freight bought your contract."

"But if you don't have any questions, I really need that answer. We have a full slate of neural restorations to do and we're running a bit behind. Do you want to continue your contract, or activate your severance clause?" they ask, tapping away at the monitor in front of them.

You can see a small reflection in the shiny visor they wear. Of you. Of something that looks like something you could be. Of something emaciated, drained, dotted with black metal ports and unfamiliar piercings. You can just barely make out the swell of breasts, of all things, beneath the gown.

The longer hair framing your unfamiliar face is the most shocking part. You'd never worn it like this before, always so closely cropped for mine work. The alarm kicks in again, louder, blaring a few notes longer than before. You need to leave. You need to go home. You need to go home and tell the foreman you want to keep your job. "H.... Home..." you mutter, as another tech steps in with a needle next to you.

The one that was talking to you shakes their head, and stops typing. "Hmm... Let's chalk this one up to a unstable state then. Reset to the most recent mental state and then roll back to...." They order, checking another monitor "Five years post-indoc. That's after the surgeries, a few contract deployments. The baseline capture will be a lot more compliant."

"Always like this with the early ones, don't know why we bother going all the way back when they just beg to go home." the tech with the needle muttered, stepping behind you and out of sight while the lead tech laughs. "You know how it is with NOCAS compliance, we have to give them a choice but nobody audits the logs too closely as long as a snapshot makes the right decision in the end."

The rising panic in you fades with the words and with the prick of something new in your neck, some pressure behind your eyes and wrapped around every thought loosens up and the fingers you hadn't noticed were gripping the armrests with enough force to turn paper-white slacken and release. The visor goggles slip back down, the same painful light and noise trying to burn your brain out again but you don't burn. You're too cold for that. You were so cold, now. Everything was so cold now. Then it was nothing.

[beatingheart-writingwoes]

Wired

Summary: Liam's heart is connected to a bomb, and the only way to stop it from exploding is to kill him. Preferably only temporarily.

Warnings: Mild gore (not detailed), blood, modern setting, defibrillator paddles, defibrillation used to cause cardiac arrest, agonal breathing

Liam looked at the numbers slowly ticking down in time with his heartbeat, laying on a gurney in a haphazardly thrown together medical room in an abandoned warehouse. Of all the things he had gotten involved with, this was one of the more dire. Maybe he should retire from scout work after this. Be was getting up in age compared to most under cover agents, you tended to start slipping up more at 40. Like right now. His heart rate ticked up when he heard the door slam open, which he internally cursed himself at.

“Took you long enough,” he said when he spotted the younger agents stopped at the door. Michael was a tall and bulky man while Sasha was a short young woman. Some of the best, if you asked him, which was why they were the first he called.

“Are you ok?” Sasha asked as she moved forward as Michael looked around for any sign of an ambush.

“Peachy, except for the bomb I'm hooked up to,” Liam replied, motioning to the timer still ticking down.

“Hooked up to?” Michael, satisfied that there wasn't anyone else there, stepped into the room. Liam tugged his dress shirt open, revealing a large, stitched up gash just under his left collarbone where a block visibly sat under the skin.

“Last I checked, I didn't have an ICD,” the older man stated. “That timer is set to my heartbeat. Which is why I’m cracking jokes; I need to be calm or else it goes off a lot quicker than we can handle.”

“OK, so we just open the stitches and deactivate it,” Sasha said.

“The pain would make my heart rate spike,” he glanced nervously at the timer. “You’all have to stop my heart to pause the timer and safely deactivate it. Afterwards, use the medical supplies here to resuscitate me. Simple.”

“What?!” both of the other agents yelped.

“Absolutely not,” Michael insisted.

“Liam, we can’t kill you–” Sasha was interrupted, though, by the timer chirping as the older man's heart rate picked up, speeding up the countdown.

“We don't have time. Either do that or leave so I don't take us all down with me,” He growled.

The other two exchanged a look before quickly grabbing various equipment and rushing them over to the gurney. There was no AED, instead an older defibrillator model with manual paddles. Probably because an AED wouldn't shock a healthy heart, and the bastards that did this probably needed to stop it to set the bomb up to begin with.

This would be Liam’s second time dying.

“This is fucking stupid,” Michael swallowed thickly as he applied gel to the paddles.

“Either this or we blow up,” Liam breathed, looking down at the black, blocky defibrillator paddles the other man pressed to his chest, one under his right collarbone and the other under his left pectoral and to the side. “Ready?”

“We should be asking you that,” Sasha replied as she gathered various other supplies.

“On three,” Michael said. “One… two… three!”

He depressed the buttons on either paddle and the electricity discharged with a thud. Liam jerked, chest bucking and arms leaping from the gurney as an involuntary grunt was forced out of him by the muscle contractions. Just as quickly, he went limp, eyes vacantly staring straight ahead. The monitor screamed as a sawtooth line traced across the screen. The timer on the bomb froze and the other two let out a breath.

“Ok, start chest compressions while I cut the wires,” Sasha urged as she rushed over, scalpel in hand.

“While you’re using the sharp knife?”

“Yes, while I’m using the sharp fucking knife. Now!”

Miachael wisely didn’t say anything else as he stacked his hands to the center of Liam’s chest and started pumping. The older man's chest caved under the other man’s palms, ribs bending and creaking in protest as his sternum was forced to squeeze his heart against his spine. His shoulders shrugged inwards and his stomach bounced in time with each compression, a small huff of air forced from his lungs.

Sasha was quick to slice open the stitches where the small box laid just under Liam’s skin, blood spilling from the reopened cut. She pulled the skin back– Michael looked away so he didn’t gag– and started examining the wires. She carefully cut what she presumed were the necessary ones. The numbers on the bomb vanished completely, indicating its deactivation. She pressed gauze to the now open wound and taped it in place.

“We’ll worry about stitches when he’s back at the base. I’m not taking those wires or the device out yet because I don’t want to shred his heart.” Sasha looked at the screen. “I think that’s vfib, let’s try shocking him.”

She scooped up the paddles and pressed the charge button. Once she indicated for him to stand back, Michael all but leaped off of Liam’s chest. She pressed the paddles to their previous spots under his right collarbone and to his left side and pressed the discharge buttons. Again, his chest bucked and arms spasmed before going completely limp again. The sawtooth pattern was replaced with a flat line. Both of them recalled something about that pattern not being able to be shocked. Cursing, Michael restarted chest compressions without hesitation.

“Fuck. Uh… breathing. There’s gotta be one of those mask things here,” Sasha said quickly as she dug through the crash cart. She pulled a mask and bag from the cart, quickly assembling it and pressing the mask to Liam’s face and tipping his head back. “Pause.” Michael obeyed, stopping compressions. She squeezed the bag, watching Liam’s cheeks round as his chest rose. Once. Twice. “Ok, thirty to two.”

“One, two, three, four, five…” Michael counted with each shove downwards into the other man’s chest. The mask muffled the small huffing noises from Liam as air was forced out of him again. “..28, 29, 30!”

Again his chest rose and fell with the artificial breaths.

"One, two, three, four, five…” There was a crack and something gave under his palms. He ignored it and kept pumping. Moving blood was more important than broken bones. He paused after reaching thirty again, feeling the other's chest swell and deflate with each squeeze of the bag.

"After this round, switch with me.”

He continued compressions for another thirty count, trying his best to ignore the odd clicking he could feel from one of his ribs. “... 28, 29, 30!” He lifted his hands and took the bag and mask after Sasha forced another two breaths into Liam’s still lungs. Michael breathed heavily, not realizing how tiring giving CPR was until he was no longer single mindedly focused on acting as the other man’s heart. “There’s medicine we can use, right? Don’t they usually use epinephrine or something to help?”

“I think so? I don’t know how much to use, though!” Sasha grit out as she took over chest compressions. “..10, 11, 12, 13…”

Either he could blindly draw medication and hope he didn’t end up making sure Liam stayed dead, or he could focus on doing what he for sure knew he could do– squeeze the bag and breathe for him when Sasha stopped. Michael decided it was safer to do as he was instructed for now. If Liam’s heart didn’t go back into that sawtooth pattern that could be shocked by the end of this cycle, then they'd have little choice but to try and hope that they gave the right medications and in the right amount. Sasha reached thirty and Michael squeezed the bag. Liam’s cheeks rounded and throat bulged slightly as air was forced into his chest, only for it to be crushed out of his lungs with a harsh wheeze by Sasha bringing her weight down onto his sternum.

“One, two, three, four, five…”

Suddenly the dying man's jaw moved from under the mask.

“I think he moved! Liam?” Michael removed the mask. Sasha jammed her fingers into the pulse point in his throat as she stared at the still flatlined monitor. Liam's eyes were half-lidded and his skin bloodless looking, lips tinted blue. His jaw twitched and his mouth gaped open with an odd snoring noise.

“He still doesn't have a pulse,” Sasha relayed before starting chest compressions again.

“But he's breathing–”

“That isn't breathing. It means he's fighting, though. 15, 16, 17…”

Michael pressed the mask to his face again, ignoring the feeling of his jaw occasionally jerking. When the time came again to squeeze the bag, there was a tiny wheeze when he was forced to breathe.

The monitor beeped and both of them turned to look. The sawtooth pattern had replaced the stubborn flat line.

“Ok, vfib!” Michael exclaimed. Sasha backed off, breathing heavily, as Michael grabbed the paddles and set them to charge. He pressed them to Liam’s chest like before and pressed the buttons. Liam bucked again like before, and when he went limp, beautiful peaks and valleys appeared on the monitor instead of the flat line or sawtooth pattern. Sasha’s hand shot to his throat, fingers pressed into the soft flesh under his jaw.

“He’s back. Holy fuck.”

Liam's eyes fluttered and he groaned, hand clumsily coming up to the gauze tapped to his upper left chest. A bruise was beginning to form on his sternum now that there was proper blood flow. Michael grabbed his hand to stop him from pawing at the gauze.

“Easy, easy, don't touch it,” He soothed.

“Can you hear us, buddy?” Sasha asked, gently patting his cheek. His gaze blearily moved to her face.

“Yes,” he croaked. And then promptly passed out.

But he was alive.

[unreesonable]

Stage/Fright

This post was used to track guest appearances during the West End run of Stage/Fright. I updated it after every show (twice on matinee days!) until the final performance at The Wyndham's, 5th April 2025

Leaving it here as a historical record. I'll be sharing more details about the guest appearances, photos etc over at @fuckyeahstagefright Last updated 05/04/25

I update this post after every show - that’s every day Mon-Sat and twice on matinee days! (Thursday and Saturday)

Photos and reviews are at the end of this post

I'm going to try and track the celebrity guests throughout the run. Asks/DMs are open if you have a tip for a show you've attended, or you can comment below.

Celebrity guests

(plus the mime for their name and the show name / character name / catchphrase that Len keeps getting wrong)

Previews

16/01/25 - Jim Howick (Gym Cow Sick - Horrible Histories) 17/01/25 - Ralf Little (Death in Paradise) 18/01/25 - The Actor Kevin Eldon (Cave In Held On - Fist of Fun) 20/01/25 - David Morrisey (Day Vid Morris [Boris] See - The Walking Dead) 21/01/25 - Marc Wootton (Mr Poppy, Nativity) 22/01/25 - Adrian Dunbar (Ted Hastings, Line of Duty) 23/01/25 - Nick Mohammed (Nick More Ham Head - Ted Lasso) 24/01/25 - Katherine Parkinson (Cat Thin Parking Sun - The IT Crowd) 25/01/25 - Gary Kemp (Car Reek Hemp - the running joke was the Spandau Ballet song 'True') / Martin Freeman (Fart Tin Three Man - Bilbo Baggins, The Lord of the Rings) 27/01/25 - Matthew Kelly (Mat You Ceilidh - Stars in Their Eyes) 28/01/25 - Lee Mack (Lemur Ick - Not Going Out)

Press night and end of previews

29/01/25 - Alexander Armstrong (All Lick Hair Arms Wrong - Classic FM) 30/01/25 - Daniel Mays (Down Yell [Theresa] Mays - Line of Duty) 31/01/25 - Mat Baynton (Mat Pain Tonne - Horrible Histories) 01/02/25 - Les Dennis (Les[bian] Tennis - New Faces) / David Harewood (Day Vid[eo] Hair Wood - Martin Luther King, The Mountaintop) 03/02/25 - Tamsin Greig (Tame Sing Gregg - Friday Night Dinner) 04/02/25 - Monica Dolan (Moan Knickers Dough Lamp - Mr Bates vs the Post Office) 05/02/25 - Ophelia Lovibond ([James] Bond - W1A) 06/02/25 - Julian Rhind-Tutt (Julie [Andrews] Wine Tut - The Madness of King George) / Paterson Joseph (Peep Show) 07/02/25 - Mel Giedroyc (Smell Head Roy [Orbison] - The Great British Bake Off) 08/02/25 - Denis Lawson (Dentist Law Son - Star Wars) / Sue Perkins (Soup Hare Skins - Great British Bake Off) 10/02/25 - Dara Ó Briain (Parachute O Brie - Mock the Week) 11/02/25 - Rory Kinnear (Roar Reek In Ear - Black Mirror) 12/02/25 - Matt Berry (Mat Bear Eye - The IT Crowd) 13/02/25 - Mackenzie Crook (Mack Hen See Rook - The Detectorists) / Mark Bonnar (Boner - Line of Duty) 14/02/25 - Phil Daniels (Fill - Quadrophenia) 15/02/25 - Emilia Fox (Meal Ear Fox - Silent Witness) / Sarah Hadland (Sir A Add Land - Strictly Come Dancing) 17/02/25 - Gemma Whelan (Jam A Wee Land - Yara Greyjoy, Game of Thrones) 18/02/25 - Joe Thomas (Sew Tom[cat] Ass - Fresh Meat) 19/02/25 - Lenny Henry (Sirloin Knee Hen Wee - Comic Relief) 20/02/25 - Matthew Horne (Mat Horn - Gavin and Stacey) / Nigel Planer (Gel Plane - Filthy, Rich & Catflap) 21/02/25 - Charlie Higson (Charl[eston] Lie His Son - Swiss Tony, The Fast Show) 22/02/25 - Morgana Robinson (Mow Garden Robin Son - Pippa Middleton, The Windsors) / Mark Gatiss (Margate Tits - The League of Gentlemen) 24/02/25 - Rob Brydon (Rob Bride On - Would I Lie to You?) 25/02/25 - Gareth Malone (Car Alone - Military Wives) 26/02/25 - Liza Tarbuck (Please A Starbucks - Upstart Crow) 27/02/25 - Bob Mortimer (Knob More Timer - Gone Fishing) / Julian Clary (Jewel Ink Lairy - The Joan Collins Fan Club) 28/02/25 - Stephen Merchant (Steep Hen Merchant - The Office)

01/03/25 - Robin Askwith (Rob Bin Ass Quiff - The Madame Blanc Mysteries) / Matt Lucas (Mat Loo Gas - The Great British Bake Off) 03/03/25 - Jane Horrocks (Jay No Rocks - Bubble, Absolutely Fabulous) 04/03/25 - understudy show - Steve Pemberton (Steed Pen Button - Inside No 9) 04/03/25 - Joel Dommett ([Billy] Joel Dominatrix Meet - The Masked Singer) 05/03/25 - Alex Horne (All Licks Horn - The Horne Section) 06/03/25 - Micky Flanagan (Mick [Jagger] Key Flannel - "Out out") / Josh Widdicombe (Posh Wee Dick Cum - The Last Leg) 07/03/25 - Joe Pasquale (Joke Pass Quality Street - New Faces) 08/03/25 - Paul Chuckle (Pull Chuck El[bow]- “To me, to you”) / Michael Sheen (Mic[rophone] El[bow] Shin - Good Omens) 10/03/25 - Stewart Lee ([Air] Steward Wee - Stewart Lee's Comedy Vehicle) 11/03/25 - Chris McCausland (Cry Smack Oars Land - Strictly Come Dancing) 12/03/25 - David Walliams (Slay Vid[eo] Wall Iams - Britain's Got Talent) 13/03/25 - Pauline McLynn (Pull Lean Muck Lean - Mrs Doyle, Father Ted) / Richard Osman (Reach Hard Oz Man - The Thursday Murder Club) 14/03/25 - Tamzin Outhwaite ([Lion] Tamer In Mouth Weight - Red Cap) 15/03/25 - Clive Anderson (Clay Van Der Son - Whose Line Is It Anyway?) / Stephen Fry (Steep Hen Fry - Jeeves and Wooster) 17/03/25 - Paul Merton (Pull Mare Tonne - Have I Got News for You?) 18/03/25 - Mark Addy (The Full Monty) 19/03/25 - Adam Buxton (A Dam Books Tonne - The Adam and Joe Show) 20/03/25 - Elaine Paige (E Lane Page - I Know Him So Well) / Jason Manford 21/03/25 - Romesh Ranganathan (Row Rang - The Weakest Link) 22/03/25 - Neil Morrissey (Knee [Elm] Tree - Bob The Builder) / Paul Whitehouse (Pull Why Toes - Gone Fishing) 24/03/25 - Simon Pegg (Sigh Mump Leg - Mission Impossible) 25/03/25 - Meera Syal (Me - Goodness Gracious Me) 26/03/25 - Robert Lindsey (Robbing Lean Sassy - My Family) 27/03/25 - Danny Dyer (Fan Knee Higher - Eastenders) / Su Pollard (Soup All Hard - You Rang Milord?) 28/03/25 - Danny Baker (Fan Knee Baker - Pets Win Prizes) 29/03/25 - Ross Noble (Row Snowball - Have I Got News For You) / Prof Brian Cox (Brr Iron Cocks - Things Can Only Get Better) 31/03/25 - David Tennant (Slay Vid Ten Ants - Doctor Who) 01/04/25 - Sandi Toksvig ([de]Tox Fig - QI) 02/04/25 - Sophie Willan (Sew Feet Willy - Alma's Not Normal) 03/04/25 - Miles Jupp (My Edge Jump - The Thick of It) / Phoebe Waller-Bridge (Feet Bee Wallop Bridge - Fleabag) 04/04/25 - Sir Ian McKellan (Serene Muck Alan [Sugar] - Lord of the Rings) 05/04/25 - Louis Theroux (Loo Wee T (kanga)roo - Weird Weekends) /Jonathan Ross (Johnny Thin Rose - The Masked Singer)

Press Night Photos by Marc Brenner

Press Reviews Roundup

compiled by u/NanetteFuckingNewman on Reddit

4 stars from The Guardian: “An ingenious edge-of-your-seat, one-step-ahead show”

4 stars from WhatsOnStage: “Joyously silly … great, all-encompassing fun”

4 stars from The Telegraph: “STAGE/FRIGHT reaffirms [the writers’] rare ingenuity… Bravo”

4 stars from Financial Times: “Another wildly clever, madly innovative and suddenly moving show from this inspired duo”

4 stars from Chortle: “A hugely impressive coup de theatre, keeping you guessing and gasping to the end”

5 stars from All That Dazzles: “Wickedly funny and impressively clever, Steve Pemberton and Reece Shearsmith really have made theatrical magic”

4 stars from The Independent: "This is one play you won’t be checking your watch in"

5 stars from the Radio Times: "The production is fabulous across the board... it's a thrilling ride that shouldn't be missed"

4 stars from Time Out: "A delight, the duo at the peak of their powers"

4 stars from The i: "Riotously fun... raucously entertaining"

No rating (but highly positive) from Beyond The Joke: "This spectacular show is both side-splitting and spine-chilling... If you don't enjoy Stage/Fright, contact a doctor immediately, you might be dead. This is brilliant. Go see it." "In the interests of fairness, there have been a few more moderate reviews from the Evening Standard, The Stage and London Theatre (all 3 stars), and one stinker from The Times (2 stars). There’s always someone…"

[ephie-om]

Mornings After

Lucifer’s eyes blink open slowly. He’s so warm, and so comfortable. He closes his eyes again, but his mind is already waking up. Annoyed, he pushes his forehead into Diavolo’s broad chest, blocking out what little light comes through the thick curtains. Diavolo’s leathery wings shift around him, but he doesn’t wake up just yet. Lucifer soaks in the warmth radiating from every inch of Diavolo’s skin, letting his lover’s scent wrap around him. It feels like this moment could last forever, the two of them breathing in time with each other, blankets draped around them, sinking into the mattress. 

It could be minutes or hours that they lay there, limbs intertwined. Lucifer is content to drift in and out of sleep, held tightly in his lover’s arms. He feels Diavolo’s torso shift as the Prince wakes. He holds his eyes shut, not willing to wake up fully. Diavolo’s wing rises from his body as he stretches, and Lucifer groans in protest, groping around with one hand for a blanket. Diavolo chuckles low at the sight and obligingly covers Lucifer with his wing again. His free hand comes to rest just behind Lucifer’s head, fingers stroking the back of his neck gently. The corners of Lucifer’s mouth rise slightly, the only indication he hasn’t fallen back asleep.

“How did you sleep?” Diavolo murmurs, his voice rough. Lucifer groans again, not ready to form proper words. Diavolo chuckles again. “I must have worn you out, hm?” Lucifer cracks open one eye and glares at him, and Diavolo just grins back. “If it helps, you wore me out too.” Diavolo yawns wide, fangs gleaming in the soft light. A muttered spell brings his D.D.D. to his hand as his bleary eyes check the time.

“How long do we have?” Lucifer asks, not particularly wanting to hear the answer.

“About an hour.”

“More or less?”

“Less.”

Lucifer sighs. “Ten more minutes.”

“Ten more.” Diavolo agrees, setting a timer. “But then we have to get up.” Lucifer just leans back into his hand.

The soft pinging of Diavolo’s D.D.D. pulls both pairs of eyes open reluctantly. Lucifer lets out a slow breath through his nose across Diavolo’s collarbone. He rises slowly to a sitting position, trying to keep himself from leaning back against his pillows. Diavolo tries unsuccessfully to get up, raising his head and letting it fall back again. “You said ten minutes,” Lucifer chides.

“That was before you got up and left me here. Alone and cold,” Diavolo pouts. Lucifer snorts and smacks him in the arm lightly, bringing a soft smile to his face. 

“Get up and get dressed with me, then.”

Diavolo heaves a sigh as he sits up. “If that’s what I have to do.”

Lucifer trudges to the bathroom, splashing cold water on his face and grimacing as it shocks his muscles to life. He wets his hair and opens a container of gel, using it to comb down his hair carefully so that it lays flat. He uses one finger to curl a single strand in front at the end, giving it a slight wave. Now the demon in the mirror was looking a bit more like himself. 

Diavolo wanders in behind him, dressed only in his uniform pants. He reaches around Lucifer to grab his toothbrush as Lucifer does the same, silently mirroring each other. Lucifer hands him the toothpaste reflexively and eyes Diavolo’s shirtless body in the mirror. His eyes glow blue as he finds every deep red and purple mark littered across his chest and neck, and Diavolo’s cheeks tinge red as he notices Lucifer’s gaze.

Lucifer rinses his mouth and walks back across the thick carpet to find his designated drawer in Diavolo’s wardrobe. He hears the shower turn on as he quickly dresses in one of his many RAD uniforms, using the large mirror on the door to make sure nothing is out of place. Diavolo steps out of the bathroom, hair dripping, as Lucifer fusses over his tie. Lucifer glances at him in the mirror, realizing a split second too late that the prince has that mischievous glint in his eye. Diavolo shakes his head side to side like a dog, spraying water across most of his room and up Lucifer’s back. Lucifer yelps in indignation as the cold water hits the back of his neck, and Diavolo explodes with laughter.

Lucifer tries to pin him with a glare, but Diavolo is nearly crying with laughter, leaning against his bedpost for support. In retaliation, Lucifer snatches up the undershirt that Diavolo was going to wear and uses it to wipe himself off, crumpling the shirt in the process. Diavolo finally takes a deep breath and looks at Lucifer, then dissolves into cackles again. Lucifer looks at himself in the mirror and sees how he’s ruined the back of his hair, strands sticking up every which way. He balls up the shirt in his hands and tosses it at Diavolo, who makes no move to catch it as it hits his chest.

A small sound comes from the doorway, and two pairs of eyes find Barbatos, the picture of poise, clearing his throat. “I thought you might like to know you have three minutes until breakfast is served.” Lucifer is sure his cheeks are flaming; not that the butler hadn’t found them in worse situations, but he’s not exactly used to being embarrassed. Diavolo, on the other hand, just chuckles and dons his wrinkled undershirt. “We’ll be downstairs soon.” Barbatos nods and shuts the door quietly behind him.

Lucifer fixes his hair quickly as Diavolo dresses, still determined to get back at his lover. Diavolo comes up behind him again, moving to wrap his arms around Lucifer’s shoulders. Lucifer presses a quick kiss to his jawline then slips out of the embrace, leaving Diavolo’s arms to close around nothing. “Hey, that’s not fair!” the prince protests loudly. Lucifer turns the doorknob and walks out, leaving Diavolo behind. “Lucifer! You can’t just do that and walk away!” Lucifer just straightens his tie and heads downstairs.

[therapyshoppe]

Sensory Fidget Tubes

[scientia-rex]

Best Things I Have Bought

I'm not sure how successful I will be in remembering all of it, but I'll try. These have all been game-changers for me, in a variety of ways. If teen me had had access to all of these, I would have been a vastly happier person.

This one is long, so I'll put in a cut.

-outlet timers. Not having to go around and manually turn off lamps at bedtime? Amazing. I bought these but you can and should get some that have a grounded outlet with three prongs so you can attach good extension cords to them.

-famotidine. aka Pepcid, it's the safest option I currently know of for managing acid reflux. I get nauseated when I get acid reflux, so this is a necessity for me.

-T-Gel shampoo. The only one that keeps my husband's insane dandruff under control. Coal tar shampoos smell peculiar, but are totally worth it if they work. For my hair, I like anti-dandruff conditioner--I apply it to my scalp and my other conditioners to the length of my hair. After bleaching my hair, I use Olaplex 3 to prevent more severe damage; the difference is very noticeable.

-white vinegar for a laundry rinse. I get horrendous contact dermatitis and adding this in the "fabric softener" cup in my washer keeps things from making my skin burn.

-on a similar note, all Oxy laundry booster. Doesn't make my skin burn but does make stains and smells noticeably better than detergent alone.

-Aquaphor. If you have eczema, nothing helps like Aquaphor, unless it's hydrocortisone ointment (the same white petrolatum base as Aquaphor but with hydrocortisone) or a prescribed steroid.

-Bissell Stomp 'N' Go pads. I have stomped. The stain goes.

-Prune puree. A packet a day keeps the chronic constipation at bay. Less volume to consume than prune juice and, in my opinion, slightly more palatable.

-Chinotto is a bitters-based beverage that I discovered by accident really helps my chronic nausea. I've tried other brands, and San Pellegrino is definitely my favorite. Tastes weird at first, but when heavy-duty ginger ale doesn't ease it, Chinotto can. And when that doesn't work, I have Zofran (ondansetron) my doctor prescribed me for the nausea I get with migraines, and that's an effective anti-nausea agent for more than just migraines.

-"You Just Need to Lose Weight (And 19 Others Myths About Fat People)" by Aubrey Gordon.

-rolling laundry cart. Doesn't have to be this one but if you CAN roll your laundry to and fro from the machines, do it.

-"Why Does He Do That? Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men" by Lundy Bancroft. If you Google, you can usually find a free pdf floating around.

-"The Vagina Bible," by Dr. Jen Gunter.

-satin scrunchies. Wet Brush. Terry cloth lined shower cap. AOA terry cloth hair turban (way, way better than similar ones from drugstore).

-stretchy work pants.

-bra liners. For large-chested people who tend to get sweaty underboob, this is a life-saver.

-Goo Gone.

-Dr. Scholls medicated foot powder and the Earth Therapeutics tea tree oil foot spray. The foot powder works for super long days and the spray for lighter days.

-Reflective heat pad. I use this on my car seat in the winter and I am so happy for that every single chilly morning. I've repurchased it... once or twice? now.

-Retin-A. I used to use Differin, which is adapalene, the most potent retinoid available over the counter, but the switch to prescription-only Retin-A has been very noticeable. Decreased wrinkles, clearer skin. More inclined to flake and burn but it's worth it for me.

-Red LED therapy. Near-infrared stimulates collagen production in the skin. The only other thing that really does that is retinoids. I bought the Omnilux mask, which is certainly high-end, but HotandFlashy (a YouTube content creator) did a great comparison of different masks available by specs and this was the best at the time. The difference is noticeable within days. I've tried other, lower-powered masks, but what made me make the jump to high-end was that I got the Dennis Gross red LED eye mask for crows' feet off eBay and I was like "holy shit, this is better." And Omnilux is better still. It makes sense, since they were the OG of the models that have been in dermatology clinics for a couple of decades now.

-AOA foundation has been at least as good at my TooFaced foundation, and it's like 1-2 bucks instead of 40. There are light, medium, and deep shades, each on different pages; I'm linking to light because that's what I use. The lightest shade works for me, and I'm basically translucent.

-AOA VitaGlow tinted moisturizer is absolutely my go-to for lighter coverage days.

-AOA PawPaw blending sponges. Best out there and also the cheapest.

-(do not buy any of the AOA eyeshadows. Total waste of time, zero pigment. I've tried repeatedly and they're just garbage. The highlights are generally fine though.)

-Direct acid foot peels. The calluses come off. Just don't do it when you have ANY open wound on the feet, because it's acid and will sting like hell.

-blendercleanser solid cleanser for blending sponges and brushes. Actually a) gets them clean and b) rinses out.

-PureWine wine wands. I let these puppies sit for three minutes in a glass and suddenly I can drink red wine without migraines or hangovers. Fucking miraculous.

-Dustbuster. Holy shit it's amazing for ADHD peeps. Small thing bugging you? Can't get yourself to bust out the "real" vacuum? USE THIS.

-Crocs. Don't @ me. I wear a black pair around the house and for garden chores and they make my feet happy. Salonpas patches and/or BenGay for a topical when you're sore--topicals are great pain relief.

-Vibrating neck pillow. Don't need it right now? Wait until your next head cold. Vibration clears sinuses.

-PooPourri. I love not having to smell poop. This, and similar products, work pretty well by trapping scent particles in the oil layer instead of letting them evaporate into the air.

-Electric snow thrower. I can't manage a large, heavy snow blower and I don't want to deal with a gas engine. This little guy helped me clear my large driveway in 3-4 hours instead of 12.

-The Demon-Haunted World: Science as a Candle in the Dark, by Carl Sagan.

-Handheld home IPL for hair removal. I ordered this exact one and I like it. You can get these on eBay or Amazon for cheaper sometimes; just make sure you PROTECT YOUR EYES during flashes. Targets pigment in the hair bulb so lighter skin and darker hair work better, and deeper skin tones may burn.

-Lanolin chapstick. Makes all other chapsticks I've used look like garbage.

-Steam eye masks. ShopMissA sells these and you can find them on a lot sites; shouldn't cost more than about a dollar per mask. I ended up buying an electric eye mask because I wanted to treat my dry eye and that just felt more environmentally responsible, but I love falling asleep with these on and I can't do that with my plug-in mask.

I think this is where I'll leave it--I've gone back quite a ways in my shopping history across multiple sites and thought about my daily routines--but if any of these problems torture you, these are my suggestions.

[shyxcherry]

how would &team help with muscle soreness

ot9xreader warnings: fluff requested: yes❤️ also can we just take a moment to appreciate how beautiful harua is in this photo???

masterlist

k:

k would be the most helpful right after fuma. he is very familiar with muscle pain, so he knows a lot of tricks to help. he will probably scold you for not being careful enough while working out. he would also probably insist that you two go together to avoid this in the future.

after you had complained to k that you were sore, he gave you some pain medication before carrying you to the bathroom. he would run you a warm bath with some salts to relax your muscles. you would ask him to join you, and you know he could never say no to you. it would turn into a tradition- the two of you bathing together when one of you was sore.

fuma:

fuma would probably be the most helpful when it comes to muscle soreness. he would probably be working out with you if we're being honest. i do feel like since he is very familiar with working out, he would help you work out without making your body hate you. so most of the time when you work out, there isn't any muscle pain. if there were though, you know he would be right next to you helping you in any way he can.

his go to way to help with muscle soreness would probably be stretching. you would always groan because he would make you walk with him even though you know it helps. so the two of you walk through the streets until you get too tired to continue. your walks always end the same way. with him carrying you on his back the whole way home.

nicholas:

nicho is absolutely going to scold you for pushing yourself so hard. he would make you promise to not do it again before he helps you recover. similar to k, he will start going with you to work out, so he can keep an eye on you and make sure you don't push yourself.

nicho would be diligent in your care. he would help you ice your sore muscles, holding the ice pack to your sore muscles even though you were perfectly capable of doing it yourself. he would alternate between that and heat. your favorite method though was cuddling into his side because his warmth help sooth your muscle more than anything else. he would complain though that he couldn't do anything because you would let him leave, but when you tried to move, he wouldn't let you, tightening his grip before telling you he was joking.

ej:

ej is going to be the most concerned member if you were to have any muscle soreness. being an idol, i'm sure he's had plenty of soreness, so he knows how much it hurts. he's going to be your shadow, watching over everything you do to make sure you're not overexerting yourself again.

you were laying on your stomach in bed, scrolling on your phone. ej had stepped out for a moment to get something. when he returned, he sat next to you on the bed. he pulled up your shirt, causing you to turn around to see what he was doing. he had went out to buy some of that muscle relaxing gel. he would be careful, softly massaging it into the sore spots on your back. he would also be the one to set up a timer, and redo everything multiple times until you felt better.

yuma:

yuma is going to be the one member who teases you the most for the muscle soreness- especially if it's your legs that are sore. expect a couple of sexual jokes from him until he realizes you're in pain. once he realizes you're hurting, he will turn into a mother hen- not letting you do anything.

yuma had stepped out of the room for a moment, and you wanted something to drink. so you went to the kitchen, very carefully to not get hurt. yuma wasn't happy when he found you in the kitchen. he scolds you before picking you up and bringing you back to the couch. expect a lot of rest for the rest for the day.

jo:

poor jo would be a little clueless on how to help you with muscle soreness. he would 100% call either fuma or k and ask for advice. he would listen closely to what they said, writing it down for next time. after he got off the phone, he would do exactly what they said, getting you some pain reliever along with some fruit and water.

you were laying on the couch when he brought them to you. you smiled, thanking him before asking why he did this. he then said he knew you were sore and wanted to help. he may have also accidentally let slip he called his members for help. he would turn so red when you kissed his cheek in appreciation. you would also pull him next to you, so you two could share the fruit together.

harua:

i don't think harua works out, but like the others, he is still very familiar with muscle pain. he may be a little clueless (not as bad as jo) on how to help you. he does give you advice to what he does, but when that doesn't work, he goes searching the internet for help.

you were laying in bed when harua came in with a heating pad. he placed it under your back where you were sore before helping you get comfortable. he would also distraction in a sense and order you your favorite food and snacks. the two of you lay in bed the rest of the afternoon laying in bed watching whatever show you two were into while snacking.

taki:

taki will be clueless just like jo. you would think since a lot of his other members work out, he would pick up some tricks, but no. he does however ask you how you normally deal with the muscle pain, so he could help you. you told him you normally use a machine to help massage your muscles but it broke, and you haven't had a chance to get a new one.

in comes taki, with a bottle of lotion and a large smile. he gently places your legs on his lap before massaging them. he took his time, easing a lot of your muscle pain away. you would thank him after, but unlike ej he wouldn't do it for free. expects kisses as a form a payment for you to show your thanks.

maki:

maki is probably going to be a mixture of ej and yuma (not as bad though). he would laugh when you struggled before helping you, lifting you into his arms before taking you where ever you needed.

also similar to harua, he will use distraction to help you not think of the pain. he would joke around, mocking your attempt at walking. you would laugh before pretending to be upset by his mocking. he would give you a kiss in apology before he pulls you into his lap. you two spend the rest of the afternoon cuddling and watching your favorite movie. and if you ask nicely, he will massage your sore muscles.

[rumade]

A post about birth

I had a baby on Wednesday early in the morning (it's Sunday evening right now), and a couple of people have asked what labour and delivery was like for me, if I have any tips etc, so I thought I'd make a post about it. TW for all the things you might think of with regards to birth: medical stuff, vomit, diarrhoea, blood etc.

The raw facts: I delivered vaginally, in the bath in hospital, with pain relief in the form of Pethidine, Codeine, gas & air (Entonox), and a TENs machine. No true induction, but two membrane sweeps with prostaglandin gel. From onset of true labour (regular contractions), to delivery, was about 9 hours, which is pretty fast for a first timer.

Membrane sweep: This is when a midwife assesses your cervix, and if possible, inserts a finger with prostaglandin hormone gel and moves things around. My first one was when I was 2cm dilated at 39 weeks, and it was UNCOMFORTABLE. I would say a similar cramp feeling to having an IUD inserted, with less of a pinching feeling. Unlike IUD pain, this ends when they take their finger away. Afterwards I had blood and mucus for about 36 hours. I had a second sweep at 40 weeks at 10:30, just under 12 hours before I went into labour.

Early labour: I HATED EARLY LABOUR. I'd been working on this quilt and said that I would have the baby as soon as I finished it, and in some act of dark magic, pretty much as soon as I finished sewing on the label, I went into labour. Rough time 9:30pm Tuesday night. Early labour for me started with lower back pain, similar to the kind I get on my period. I then had diarrhoea and vomiting in tandem, so was sat on the toilet holding a bucket and puking into it. I'd just had some fancy rhubarb and raspberry leaf tea, so it came out a pretty pink colour!

When I could, I did hip circles and other moves sat on my yoga ball, which I think helped a lot. Eventually, we cracked out the TENs machine, and my husband stuck it to my back. When a contraction came on, I'd press the boost button, while also trying to press the timer button on my phone to time contractions. I phoned the hospital a few times, got told to take paracetamol, puked up the paracetamol, got the shakes from puking. My contractions at this time were ranging from 30 seconds to 1 minute, and apart from the period following puking, when I would shake and they'd go haywire, they were pretty consistent. Every 7 minutes apart, then 6 minutes, down to 4 minutes, and getting painful enough that I couldn't handle the twin tasks of activating TENs boost and tapping the contraction timer app (2 buttons were beyond me).

I phoned the hospital and they said it sounded like I was in established labour. We grabbed my hospital suitcase, my backpack with skincare, laptop, and a few other bits in, secured a taxi through an app. I was contracting strongly and couldn't walk when they happened, so was holding onto our fence in the light rain, waiting for the taxi. When it came, it was about 2:30am. The streets were clear but the ride felt like it took forever and the taxi driver looked very tense. We arrived at 2:49am. I got out, immediately had a contraction and held on tight to a plant pot outside the hospital. The porters held the lift for me and we got up to the 7th floor, where I had another contraction right outside the door of my room. These ones felt PAINFUL. Very much in my back.

We got in the room and I stayed in my nightdress (didn't want to change into a hospital gown). Cervical assessment was 5cm at 3:15am. I asked for Pethidine. This is an opiate that they inject into you. Firstly, they wanted to get a cannula into my hand- I had an infection called Group B Strep and they wanted to make sure they could get antibiotics into me. Until the painkiller took effect, I tried to manage pain with a spikey massage ball, alternately digging it into my thigh and smashing myself on the side of the head with it. It helped. The team offered me gas and air, which I declared to be "shit". I think I was expecting to get high and have fun with it, but it barely felt like it did anything.

The Pethidine took the edge off, but made me drowsy. It allowed me to handle the feeling in my lower back, and the team gave me some oral codeine alongside it. It's worth knowing that they won't give you these close to the end of labour because it can make baby drowsy and hard to assess. At this point I could kinda talk in a drowsy way and I managed to put on music, including a Nujabes playlist. I then said "I'm not cool enough to give birth to hip hop" and swapped it out for some other lofi and a study strings playlist. The lower back pain was still intense and I was stick of being vibrated by the TENs machine, so I asked them to run a bath.

2nd stage labour: This other sensation had started, and I didn't know it at the time, but this was the start of the actual delivery. It didn't actually hurt, but instead felt like I was being squeezed by a huge snake. When these surges happened, they took my breath away, and I struggled to follow the "down breathing" pattern that I'd learnt. I think at this point I asked for an epidural. The midwife, somewhat sternly, said "you need to tell us what you're feeling. Does it feel like you need a big poo?" which really annoyed me, because it didn't feel anything like I was needing a big poo. Maybe I just eat more fibre than 90% of the population, because I shit with the effortless nature of a premium racehorse. This felt like my body was being crushed, but not in a painful way- the back pain between these surges was still awful though.

I asked to get in the bath. They told me I couldn't have an epidural if I was in the bath. I said "ah, I don't want to waste the water", and got in the bath (~4:45am). The intense surges were getting closer together now and I was really struggling to breathe, so I made use of the gas and air to try and remind myself to breathe out through my mouth. Midwife managed to do a cervical assessment (I'm not sure how because I was on my hands and knees but I think I managed to briefly flip over for her), and told me I was fully dilated.

At this point, it started to feel like I had a cannonball inside me that was being dragged out by an electromagnet that was being turned on and off. A friend had told me that for her it felt like she could really feel her baby's head engaging and moving down, and I realised this was what I was feeling too. I stayed on my knees, semi upright with one hand on the side of the bath and the other gripping the Entonox tube. I told everyone I could feel that he was coming.

The thing about pushes is... well, they always say "you'll have the overwhelming urge to push". I'm not sure that urge is the right word here. Like I have a lot of urges throughout the day, but none of them have ever felt like this. This was something my body was doing whether I liked it or not, I couldn't even really tell if I had any conscious control of anything. A surge would come, and I guess I was pushing along with it, but it didn't really feel like I was baring down until his head was truly in position.

Ring of fire: right when the baby's head is at the gateway of coming out of you, you get a sensation that they call the "ring of fire". This is your cervix fully opening. I don't remember this actually hurting as much as I was prepared for it to, but I followed advice from a youtube video and made little outbreaths, like "you're blowing out the candles on your baby's birthday cake". And when it had subsided a little, I began to actually push in earnest. My waters finally popped at this point, so don't expect yours to necessary go in the supermarket, Hollywood style. When your baby is RIGHT THERE, you can't deny it, but there's this weird space in between the surges where you feel so lucid, before one grips you again. I got REALLY annoyed right there because the midwife unhooked my bra in preparation for skin to skin. I think I snapped at her "what are you doing?! Get off my bra!" My husband describes it as "it was like you were talking to a boy you don't like."

You're not going to deliver baby's head in one push. It will hover there, kind of pulsing in and out with each surge until it eventually breaks through. You have to lean into this pain and pant and breath. When the head finally breaks through, there's another lucid pause, and it's the weirdest liminal space in the world. Then there's one more push that feels like your insides are unfurling like a huge flower, and then you look over and the man you love is sobbing his eyes out, you realise "Concerning Hobbits" is playing, and the midwife is telling you to gently turn over and somehow lift your leg over the cord so they can easily lift baby away. And this impossibly huge, blue creature gets plonked into your arms in a towel.

Then I got stabbed in the leg with an injection to help deliver the placenta. That bit didn't hurt at all. I asked them to save it so I could get a little biology lecture after (which was great). Watched a lot of blood, and what looked like cud (I am guessing it came out of my arse), pooled in the bath as the water drained. Somehow stood up and got plopped on the bed for stitches. Stitches were horrible. 2nd degree tear (butthole fine, perineum in peril). They put a lubed up finger up my bum to check. That was nice.

So anyway, that's how I gave birth. Sorry this is long. I don't have the energy to edit because I just had a baby.

My biggest advice to anyone who is planning to give birth, is that you need to lean into the pain. This is also true for breastfeeding, because at the start it's quite painful. That pain is going to get you your baby. Some people are able to recontextualise it as something other than pain, but I recognised it as pain, some of which my body had felt before (the lower back, the period cramp sensations), and some of which it hadn't (the cervix stretching).

Apart from that, look up videos of natural delivery. Actually I felt watching a couple of episodes of "I didn't know I was pregnant" a bit helpful, because if those women could deliver without any pain relief or knowledge of what was happening, so could I. You have to remember that billions of people have given birth, successfully, without misery or dying. And it's possible for you too.

Birth and pregnancy prep. Get as fit as you can the year before you get pregnant. You will need powerful arms for dragging yourself around during labour and for holding your baby. Eat properly through pregnancy, and walk a lot. In your final 4 weeks, eat dates every day if you can afford to- they are apparently clinically proven to help open up the cervix. I also ate pineapple. Yoga ball is good for opening the hips and working baby into a good position.

Lastly; the afternoon before I went into labour, I watched Big Trouble in Little China. You should watch that. It's hilarious.

[cyanide-cafe]

Rio Crane [Urbanshade Personnel]

SHE/THEY/HE [in order of preference]

71 Y/O, 28 in physical and mental growth

TLDR: makes clones if she's cut in half, spends her time researching everything. Extremely curious, friendly, and gets along with the beasts of the blacksite. See below the cut for Way Too Much Information, and her entire document!

Codename: "Endless," was a researcher for Urbanshade whom willingly participated in the IUTEOAK [Immortal Under the Edge of a Knife] program, simply referred to as the IUK program for further reference. The IUK program was an experiment to allow immortality in certain high-hazard Urbanshade personnel, started by Crane themselves in an attempt to rid themselves of chronic and terminal illness.

Crane's experiments were successful, resulting in symbiosis between Human, White Spotted Bamboo Shark, Flatworm, Nudibranch, and Portuguese Man ' o ' War DNA. These experiments resulted in loss of certain organs which her body no longer needed for general life, including her liver, gallbladder, pancreas, thyroid, kidneys, and lungs. It is noted that despite her Flatworm DNA, she still has a cardiovascular system, unlike modern flatworms.

The resulted immortality has a strange catch, as Crane's body rapidly deteriorates over a span of 3 years, generally dying at the end of the 3rd: however, if Crane were to cut off her head or her legs from her torso: and said half of her body or head is healthy: another instance of Crane would be able to separate from the aged body, re-starting the 3 year biological timer. It seems that Crane's immortality has a few catches like this, as if her brain is destroyed, a clone will die, reducing to an amorphous gel-like consistency that is extremely toxic within several days.

However, her experiment was deemed to be non-replicable: not because it is impossible to replicate, but the cost, dangers, and work put into making a single immortal being is too high to create several of these instances. Not only is the experiment hard to replicate, the side effects are varying in usefulness or straight up danger, and Crane herself seems to have certain anomalous features that Urbanshade has been unable to reproduce, most notably, the fact that her memories and senses are able to be transmitted between clones at will. This being said, Crane is anomalous, and should be highly monitored to prevent classified information leaking to unauthorized personnel.

It is noted that Crane has an especially high pain tolerance, as she only feels 1/5th of the pain a normal individual would: likely due to the 5 given clones of her that exist at any time: a clone in the Blacksite, a clone at another Urbanshade site, a clone in an undisclosed location, a backup clone in the Blacksite, and finally, her conscious clone. It seems that her consciousness flickers between these clones, and clones that are not inhabited are in a hibernation-like state.

Crane is capable of deadly stings with her "hair" and "tail fibers", more officially her tentacles and cnidosacs: that cause extreme allergic reactions in some individuals, and circulatory shock [and death] in others. It is noted that these stings are ONLY felt if personnel touch the tips of her hair or cnidosacs, and as such, are avoidable.

Her diet consists of animals in the Cnidaria family, certain jellyfish, and a vegetable/fish high diet. It is noted that while she does enjoy meats, she seems to prefer them on the.. fresher side.

Crane is not a dangerous encounter, rather a normally quiet, almost EXR-P-like employee. She doesn't speak much to Expendables, preferring to speak with or research the various dangerous monsters inside of the Blacksite instead. Crane's presence often indicates that a monster is nearby, however, and it should be kept in mind that if you see her, it's likely there's a much more dangerous threat arounds.

ADDENDUM: Crane was not originally a Blacksite employee, rather originating from a separate site entirely that preformed experiments on cadavers and willing individuals only. As such, it seems that Crane is disgusted with the Blacksite entirely. It is under debate whether or not Crane should be demoted or not after the Crystal [Z-1] has been recovered, as she is capable of spreading classified information throughout Urbanshade, or even to the public.

ADDENDUM 2: It seems that Crane's presence may also indicate The Saboteur [z-13] as well, and she can even be found [rarely] alongside him with his shop, asking questions he refuses to answer.

[ddejavvu]

Meiiiiiiii I have an idea for a blurb/fic if you're interested!! It's actually inspired by the dream I had last night :))) Remus and I (reader in this case) were best friends but Remus had a huuuge crush on them. One day they were at reader's place and reader asked him if he wanted to try some skincare stuff. He was kinda shy and insecure at first because of his scars but accepted anyway. He ended up laying in bed while reader rubbed some facecream on his cheeks and poor boy fell asleep </3 (please excuse my awful grammar :)))

"Eyes closed," You remind Remus, who's peeked a total of six times now. Really, he can't help himself. You look absolutely gorgeous hovering above him, your tongue poking out from between your lips as you concentrate on painting the gel mask over his features.

"You're sure this is okay for scar tissue?" He asks, his words muffled as he tries keeping his face still.

"Mhm," You hum absentmindedly, tracing the hinge of his jaw with the brush, layering green goop over his skin. "It'll make your skin nice and soft, Remus. It's not a peel-off, don't worry. You just let it sit there, then massage it in."

"I don't wanna get my hands sticky," He fights the urge to wrinkle his face into a grimace, and you line his nose with the stuff.

"I'll do it," You offer, trying to inject confidence into your tone that you don't really possess.

The timer that you set for the face mask to settle feels like a time bomb, ticking down the seconds until you have to - (get to?) - touch Remus's face. You've brushed a hair away from his eyes in passing, smeared chocolate off of his chin, but nothing like you're about to do.

When the alarm sounds you shut it off, tentatively reaching for his gooey face. Most of the paste has settled into his skin, and what you carefully rub away is more grainy, its moisture having done its job. He hums when you dig your thumbs into the apples of his cheeks, and his eyes flutter open once again to meet your own.

You don't need him to keep his eyes closed anymore; nothing's going to get in them. But you can't handle looking into his eyes while you caress his face, so you remind him, "No peeking."

"Sorry." He murmurs, lips brushing the heel of your hand as you rub the mask into his nose, "'Feels good."

"Just relax," You urge, praying he doesn't feel the heat radiating off of your cheeks, "I'll wash it off when you're done."

Despite your weight over his hips as you straddle his lap, he drifts off into sleep. You notice it when his breathing flattens out, his inhales aren't rugged or mismatched anymore. He's serene as you smooth the gel into his skin, and you almost feel bad when there's none left to massage onto his face.

You take a damp washcloth, clearing his skin of the leftover gunk. He doesn't wake, and you're sure it's only aiding his slumber to have a wet warmth patting down his face. You dismount awkwardly, not sure how to proceed now that he's not conscious to tell you what to do. You consider napping with him, but that feels far too intimate, but you don't want to leave without saying goodbye.

What you settle on is a bold kiss to his forehead, one that you lean down to peck against his freshly moisturized skin. That's all the courage you have, though, and once your lips drain it to his temple you bolt for the door.

You're going too fast to catch the faint smile that works its way across his no-longer-chapped lips, but it's the one Remus always has on his face at the sight of you, so you'll see it a thousand times more to come.