#incorrect jaydick

[incorrectjaydick]

Dick: I swear on my life. Jason: Bitch, you're suicidal, swear on something else.

[toriafiction]

Dick: This is a horrible idea.

Jason: Yep, have you come up with a better one?

Dick: No. Where should we meet when this plan fails?

Jason: I don't know, the afterlife?

[literally-the-mothman]

Dick, watching the news: Someone tried to fight a squid at the aquarium today!

Jason: *walks in covered with ink* Well, maybe the squid was being a dick.

[jasonsthunderthighs]

Dick: Hey, Jay, how much do I have to pay you right now to kiss me?

Jason: The Hell is that shit? *Very quickly* Dollar fifty.

Dick: How much you'd kiss me right now?

Roy: Ain't no mother flippin way am I kissin nother- free.

[shipsdoishipidk]

Jason: *to tim* I’ve been having trouble sleeping lately. I guess it’s because of work an’ shit

Tim: *unphased* uh huh.

Dick: *walking in* hey guys, what’s up?

Tim: *sniggering* Jason’s been having trouble sleeping because of work.

Jason: What the fuck are you laughin-

Dick: You’re having trouble sleeping little wing?! Oh no! *opening his arms wide* If you’re having trouble, come sleep with your Big Brother! I’ll take care of ya 💕

Jason who has a mommy kink and a massive big brother complex on Dick: *insanely turned on* fuck…

Tim: *glaring daggers of promised murder and violence at Jason* *whispering* Don’t. You. Dare.

Jason-petty ass-Todd: …you know what dick, I think I’ll take you up on that!

Tim, lunging out of his chair at him: YOU MOTHERFU-

[alana93mugi]

Tim: How was the honeymoon?

Dick : Jason got drunk and tried to destroy our marriage certificate.

Dick : He said, “good luck trying to return me without the receipt”.

Dick : I love him.

[cellularfish]

Jason in Bat costume: Be my Robin.

Dick, holding up a new suit: No, YOU be my Flamebird.

Jason: >:(

[unidentifiedgothamite]

the batboys chillin' on WE's roof after patrol

jason, bored & horny: oi goldie, bet ya 10 bucks you can't do 10 consecutive backflips across the roof

dick, never backs down from a challenge: ha! prepare to be 10 bucks lighter, jay

damian, sweet summer child: what are you doing? we all know grayson can do that

tim, just wants to go home: he just wants to ogle at dick's assets clearly

[samwinchesterisacuck]

Some texts from Dick and Jason for a fic i'm writing :))

[ogachukwu-the-freak]

Enjoying batfam content and being hit with anti sentiments on the mainstream then immediately checking out the batcest tags even though I'm barely more than a casual shipper like I'm detoxing after coming into contact with a radioactive substance

[ro-jiin]

he practiced beforehand and everything

is this batcest? idk i just thought it was funny (imma tag it anyway just in case, better safe than sorry)

support me on ko-fi!

[incorrectjaydick]

Dick: Jason, how could you possibly have gotten into this much trouble in one day? Jason: It… It didn't take me the whole day…

[toriafiction]

Jason finding Dick after a long fight: "Holy shit, you're losing blood fast!"

Dick completely out of it from blood loss: "No! I know exactly where it is. On the ground and over there on those crates and *looks around frantically, then points proudly* and all over that guy. Ha! See, don't ever underestimate me.

[literally-the-mothman]

Jason: You're right.

Dick: That's... That's an unusual phrase for you. Did you just learn it?

[youlightmeupriorson]

Dick, bursting into the room: You two are having sex!

Jason, not looking up from his book: Really? Y/N, why didn’t you tell me? I would have put my book down.

[shipsdoishipidk]

Dick introducing his lover to his coworkers:

Dick: Hi guys!

Coworker A: Hey, Dick. And who’s that behind you?

Dick: Guys I want you to meet my boyfriend, Jason!

Coworker B: …your boyfriend?

Dick: Jason say hi

Grizzled, massive 6 foot something Jason Todd next to youthful, slim 5 foot 8 Dick Grayson: yo.

Coworkers: h-hey. So uh. How did you guys meet?

Dick: well we first met when I saved him and then some things happened and then we got into a couple fights and then we got together!

Coworkers: *eyeing the size difference* fight?! Dick, can we talk to you for a moment?

Dick: Sure!

Coworker A: alone.

Dick: Sure…

Coworker B: *pulling Dick to the side* are you okay? Do you need help? Do you want to talk to someone?

Coworker C: yeah, you worked in the BPD right? They’d be more than happy to help if it’s you.

Coworker D: Let’s call them right now!

Dick: Woah, wait a second. I think you guys are misunderstanding something. Jason doesn’t hurt me.

Coworker A: Look, Dick, I know that…older men can sometimes appear more mature but-

Dick: Older? Older?? Wait you think Jason is older?

Coworker C: …isn’t he?

Dick: *laughing* no, he’s the younger one! I’m older.

Coworkers: what.

Dick: Yeah, he’s 23. And he treats me very well.

Coworkers: *unsatisfied* well, as long as you’re happy

Dick: *fondly* very.

Coworkers: *watching Dick lovingly hang off Jason as they leave*

Coworker A: So.

Coworker B: Daddy issues?

Coworkers C & D: Definitely