#incorrect quites

[amayatheking]

MC, being held captive by Rouge Demons: "Tell us what your relationship is to Lord Diavolo, Human!"

MC: "I'm Diavolo's right hand, arm, man. I'm Diavolo's everything."

Rouge Demons: "..."

MC: "I'm his confidant, his Best Friend... his Silly Rabbit."

Rouge Demons: "His what?!"

MC: "His Silly Rabbit."

Rouge Demons: "His Silly Rabbit?!"

MC: "Yes."

Rouge Demons: "...Is that what he calls you??"

MC: "No."

[tokoyamisstuff]

Reaper: Seriously, you’re giving me a sticker?!

You: Not just a sticker. That is a sticker of a kitty saying “me-wow!” 

Reaper: I’m not a damn preschooler. 

You: Fine, i’ll take it back—

Reaper: I earned this, back off!

[anns-works]

Leo: Hey, whats that?

Venus: Thats a list of shit I need to get done.

Leo, squints at the list: "Cringe Therapy"???

Venus: You look me in the eyes and tell me we don't need that.

Leo: Yeah-no, I see your point. But here's my point.

Leo: It's "Cringe Theorapy". As it's spelled wrong.

Venus:

Venus, tad defensive: It's a hard word to spell man.

Leo: Aren't you an English Major.

Venus, now INCREDIBLY defensive: SORRY FOR NEVER RECEIVING A FORMAL EDUCATION DUE TO MY BIOLOGAL QUIRKS!

[a-vampire-culturelover]

Narinder: Valentine’s day is just a consumerist holiday that holds no real value other than drive people insane buying heart shaped chocolates for their significant others and pos-  The lamb: I wrote you a poem.  Narinder, already crying:You did?

[harmonysanreads]

Reader : Do you want to take a shower with me?

Aventurine : I have a gun beside my nightstand and I want you to shoot me with it if I ever say no to that because know that I've gone crazy.

[liesmultixxx]

percy jackson summarized:

[911-incorrect-quotes-dispatch]

Captain Gerrard: Those are your chores for the week. Have I made myself clear?

Hen: You probably did.

Chim: We just didn’t listen to any of it.

Eddie: Your racist tone of voice is very difficult to hear.

Buck: I did listen to your every word and I counted 9 possible lawsuits based on discrimination, which is a feat given that you barely said two sentences.

Ravi: That wasn't very cutesy and demure of you cap. Brat summer is over, just so you know.

[galaxymagitech]

Duke: Why does Batman have so many rules? I can’t help him if he won’t let me!

Dick: Rules only count if you respect the person who gave them.

Duke: But I…respect Batman…mostly.

Steph: If you stick your fingers in your ears and say “lalalala” loud enough, the rules don’t exist.

Jason: Nah, no need for that, Duke, I already blew the rules up. They’re dead.

Duke: I don’t think that’s how it works…

Damian: Father has no power over you. Ignore him.

Duke: Tim, you’re my last chance. Help me.

Tim: Oh? Just kill him. Then the rules won’t count. You can borrow my death ray blueprints.

Duke: …

Barbara: …who forgot to give Tim coffee?

[zetadraconis11]

HL Incorrect Quote #100

*in the Room of Requirement*

MC, bursting in: I finally did it!

Sebastian from the sofa: Did what?

MC, holding up the Field Guide: I finally found all the pages!

Natty, looking up from her book: THAT'S why you've been casting Revelio everywhere?

MC: Yep! And not only that, but I also found all of those Demiguise statues!

Poppy, while petting Highwing: ...is that why you've been taking cat naps all around Hogwarts?

MC: Yep.

Ominis, from a lounge chair: For the record, sleeping on the floors of Hogwarts are not as bad as you would think.

MC: Oh, and I found ALL of the Astronomy tables!

Amit, by a telescope: You did?! I hope it wasn't too dangerous...

MC: Nonsense! I've dealt with a whole lot worse than some mongrels and spiders. This was a piece of cake.

The group:

MC: And don't get me started on those bloody Merlin trials... But I did all 95 of them!

Sebastian, horrified: 95???

MC: Yes! It was not worth the pints of coffee and tea I downed, but I have done it all!

The group:

MC: I need to sleep. *keels over onto lounge*

The group:

Ominis: The more I hear about what MC does, the more concerned I get.

[eloquentsisyphianturmoil]

Nurse, taking Maedhros’ temperature: …it says 40 Celsius?

Maedhros: you should see my father’s.

[freckleslikestars]

FARSCAPE | 1.06 Thank God It's Friday, Again.

[infinite-orangepeel]

oop i think he heard himself being called out, nobody move…

[cod-dump]

Price: Look, I know we're both still upset about Mexico, but we have to play nice with Shadow while they're on Farah's side.

Nik: Tsk. Fine.

Price: Thank you. Ah, Commander Graves.

Graves: Captain. Who's this?

Nik: I could pick you up and throw you four and a half meters easily.

Graves:

Price:

Nik: Six meters if you weren't in full kit.

Graves: re...really...?

Price: Nikolai. A word. NOW.

[harringroveera]

AU where Steve came to California for his family summer vacation when he was 9 and met a boy with blue eyes, blond hair, and with a cute surf board, and they hung out for that whole week

Ten years later, Steve is super determined to go back and find him again

[sxphr]

Enid: You've been in a mood all day, what's wrong?

Wednesday, standing with her arms crossed, mumbling: Nothing.

Enid:

Enid: Oh! Is it because you want a hug?

Wednesday:

Enid, laughing: You could've just asked Wends.

Wednesday, blushing: Shut up.

[purpleangiie]

[Duke is sitting on the couch at the manor and is flipping through the channels on tv until he sees something]

Duke: "Guys look, there's circus on tv! Wanna watch it?"

*Everyone stops suddenly*

Dick, tears already welling up in his eyes: "Cool! I might cry watching it but yeah sure, don't mind me, eheh!"

Duck: "Ook–"

Jason: "Nuh uh, uh uh! The first clown I see I punch the tv and I'm not kidding."

Duke: "That seems a little excessive, but–"

Damian: "Look at that miserable tiger! They shouldn't extract exotic animals from their natural habitats just for our amusement! You have no idea how horrible it is for– *keeps rambling about animal cruelty in today's society*

Cass: *nods confidently*

Tim: "Only if I'm allowed to explain every conjuring trick, otherwise there's no fun."

Duke: "Why would you–"

Jason: "I TOLDJA IF THE FUCKING CLOWN APPEARED I–"

Dick: Jay NO–"

[Dick and Tim try to stop him from punching the tv]

Steph, smiling happily as she sits on couch, ignoring the chaos unfolding before her eyes: "I wanna watch the circus!"

Duke:

Duke: "Haha! Nope. Too late. I'm turning the tv off. And never turn it on again."