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bfdiredux · 3 days ago

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do you have any backstories for the characters? ^^ i would love to know

HAHAHHAHA!!! BACKSTORY TIME! BACKSTORY TIME!! Kicking my feet.

Some characters have drafted backstories!! I'll go over every one I can remember/have planned. I'll count backstory as anything that happened pre-BFDI or before the character's debut in a gameshow season.

CAKE

Cake was raised by two parents who did NOT get along. The only reason they were together was to keep him happy(good job /s!) This meant a lot of conflict. Even over the smallest things-- they could not stand each other.

It's not even that they were bad people either. They just. DID NOT GET ALONG. And his school life wasn't much better: bullies and little friends are a shitty mix.

So, going into teenagehood, Cake drowned out his problems by popping in some earbuds and listening to music while working. His SMALL circle had huge Goiky's Dragons fans, so tabletop RPGs were a good way for him to stay distracted.

He also had his trans actualization when he started getting into Loser as a preteen. Cake was a DIEHARD Loser fan at the time and idolized the man. He dreamed of going to Loser's performances and meeting Loser in person.

I want to make an IDFB episode that focuses on Cake!! Tempted to call the episode "Cake Day"! It would be about Cake and his grandfathers on his mother's side taking him to a live Loser show for his 16th birthday. It'll introduce both characters!

LOSER AND WINNER

They met during highschool, in which Winner got some bullies to leave Loser alone.

They both started off as kids with big dreams. Loser wanted to make it far from the start and Winner was there to support him through it all.

In their early twenties, they got into a talent show and were met with praise, basking in the attention. Within a month, they became a viral sensation.

Loser loved it. Winner didn't. They felt pressured and stressed. So, when Loser came to them with a movie deal, Winner finally put a stop to their team-up. There wasn't a big fight. Loser tried to be understanding and was deeply hurt. He eventually broke contact with Winner and went off on his own.

Winner faded into obscurity-- no matter how hard they tried to get back into the spotlight, hoping to be seen by Loser again, it never worked out.

FLOWER

I don't have a strong idea but I do have the foundation for a backstory!!

Flower was brought up in a wealthy family, raised in values of status and fortune. Stereotypical rich highschool popular girl bully.

Her parents made it very clear to her that she would eventually be on her own and have to learn to fend for herself. To act like and be an adult. They gave her starter funds when she said she was ready to move out.

Raised by great people who encouraged her to express herself. To be herself no matter what stands in her way. We'll see how that turns out.

TWO

This algebralien has a streak of bad luck to their name!

Friendships rarely did work out for them. Despite being omnipotent, Two was pushed into doing what others wanted. Two wants others to like them. Others(One) took advantage of their power.

They had a best friend in One, or so they thought. When One was trapped away, they felt at fault and struggled with their self esteem for a long time.

Then they met Eight!! They and Eight would all. Become a QPP-- which ended after Two helped Fourteen. Right before Fourteen showed his true colors.

So, Two left the algebralien world behind in search of new adventures.

RUBY

The youngest of too many sisters to count!!

Ruby's sisters were all majorly successful in some form or another-- artists, scientists, doctors, CEOs... The list goes on! Ruby wanted to be successful too. In her childhood, Ruby explored several things to find what she liked. She tried cooking, photography, painting, and writing before landing on acting.

With the support of her closest sisters, Ruby pursued her goals and applied for BFDIA to get her name out there.

LEAFY

Leafy spent a lot of her life with her legal guardian, her uncle!! She probably had a forest in her backyard. In her childhood, she'd go to summer camps that taught her vital survival skills for the wilderness-- skills Leafy would put to use by going camping with her uncle in the fall.

GOLF BALL

Golf Ball grew up in a small town in Yoyleland and moved to Yoylecity for college. One day, perhaps a few years into her studies, something happens in Yoylecity that causes it to be abandoned-- and leave Golf Ball with some serious trauma.

I don't have enough clues from Canon!IDFB to tell you what exactly happened,, but as I start to piece together a solid timeline I should be able to.

GELATIN

Gelatin got into science during middle school. It started with biology, went into biochemistry, and finally landed permanently on chemistry.

After graduating highschool, Gelatin started college-- having to stop halfway through this parent's steakhouse business that he inherited and did not want.

FOUR, X, AND ROBOTY

The epitome of algebralien chaos and his polite best friend!!

So, I don't know how Four and X got their powers, but they have some!!

X and Four met at a young age! They stuck together through rough patches and as they began to discover their own power. Four easily learned to master theirs while X fell behind and began to show signs of struggling with their own self-worth.

Four frequented the Equation Playground because X spent a lot of their time there. Through X, they met a lot of other integers-- including Two, who set up doorways into personal domains for ease of access. X was on good terms (but not particularly close friends) with everyone.

However, due to boredom, Four began looking for other things to do and took X along with him. X eagerly complied. This included Four being inspired enough by Two making those gateways-- they tried making one of their own and made a lifeform with a gateway instead.

Roboty! Four gave him to X as a gift so X could go to Four's domain without Four being present. X took Roboty everywhere with them.

One day, Four had the idea for a new adventure. He had seen BFDI and BFDIA and wanted to try it for himself!! When you get this number obsessed with something, it's hard to get him to stop.

He made a physical copy of BFDI and then got X and Roboty to come with him, proposing an impulse season for BFDIA: BFB. X was ecstatic and Roboty did not want in.

A couple of much rougher ideas -

Snowball being raised around bigotry and toxicity, specifically idealizing strength.

Basketball being into robotics as a kid and pursuing it as a job.

#Redux!Cake #Redux!Loser #Redux!Winner #Redux!Two #redux!golf ball #redux!leafy #Redux!flower #bfdi #osc #object shows #Redux!Ruby #Redux!Gelatin #Redux!Four #Redux!X #Redux!Roboty #Redux!Snowball #Redux!Basketball #Anonymous

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cressida-jayoungr · 2 years ago

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One Dress a Day Challenge

July: Blue Redux (+ Green Redux)

Flower Crew: Joseon Marriage Agency (episode 7) / Ko Won-hee as Kang Ji-hwa

This is a rare example for this show of a (mostly) single-color hanbok, with the jacket and skirt both being sky-blue. Usually, they are in contrasting colors, but in this case, a bit of contrast is provided by the floral pattern of the jacket. Other small pops of color come from her ribbon and hair ornaments.

In order to make a stealth visit to her informant at a kisaeng parlor, Ji-hwa "disguises" herself by throwing a teal jacket with rose-colored lapels over her head.

#flower crew #blue dresses #ko won-hee #one dress a day challenge #one dress a week challenge #television costumes #tv costumes #kdrama #korean tv #korean drama #period drama #korean tv show #flower crew: joseon marriage agency #joseon marriage agency #kang ji-hwa #hanbok #blue dress #blue redux

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creature-wizard · 1 year ago

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Fritz Springmeier and Cisco Wheeler: Two Of The Most Dangerous Conspiracy Theorists Most People Have Never Heard Of

Fritz Springmeier is a conspiracy theorist who has written a number of absolute doorstoppers (the content of his books is poorly arranged and highly repetitive) claiming the existence of a global satanic cult that secretly controls the world - basically, your typical Protocols of Zion redux shit. Some of his books were written with Cisco Wheeler, a(n alleged) multiple system he claims to have deprogrammed from Illuminati mind control in 1994. Their work has been deeply influential on today's general belief in alter programming. Even if you've never read Wheeler and Springmeier's work directly, you may have come across their ideas. If you've seen anything about jewel programming, flower programming, planet programming, etc.? That's from them. Writers such as Unwelcome Ozian and Svali get their material from their work (in fact, Unwelcome Ozian's book Chainless Slaves literally copypastes some of their material), and people such as Ellen P. Lacter and Alison Miller of the ISSTD/RAMCOA-SIG frequently cite Svali. Furthermore, their work has had a huge impact on David Icke's reptilian alien conspiracy theories.

Here's a selection (yes, seriously, the following wall of text is only a small sample) of their claims from their trilogy series on Illuminati mind control (They Know Not What They Do - An Illustrated Guide To Monarch Mind Control, The Illuminati Formula Used To Create An Undetectable Total Mind Controlled Slave, and Deeper Insights Into The Illuminati Formula), which they wrote/published in the mid to late 1990's:

The Illuminati is a multi-generational satanic cult made up of thirteen elite bloodlines, who are working behind the scenes to enthrone the Antichrist in the year 2000. (It's been over twenty years, still no Antichrist.)

The Illuminati is behind the French Revolution and the Abolition movement. (Conspiracy theories invented by people who were pro-monarchy and pro-slavery.)

The Illuminati is pushing for gay rights as part of their plan to bring the Antichrist into power.

The Illuminati creates effeminate gay men by dosing pregnant mothers with progesterone and estrogen.

The Illuminati practices "trauma-based mind control," which in this context refers to an alleged (and very unsubstantiated) practice of inflicting brutal tortures to trigger the formation of alters, which will be programmed for various tasks, and made accessible to programmers via special codes and triggers.

TBMC practices often (though not always) take the form of satanic rituals. (Evil is always very, very theatrical in the minds of conspiracy theorists.)

The Illuminati's rituals are "based upon the most ancient mystery religions," because "one of the secrets of the Mystery Religions, especially the Egyptian Isis mystery religion was the ability to use drugs and torture to create multiple personalities." (Citation needed, Fritz.)

The European witch hunts were actually justified, because Europe was full of satanic practitioners of trauma-based mind control. (Seriously, what kind of ghoul claims the witch hunts were in any way justified?)

The Nazis' eugenics program wasn't actually about eugenics. It was actually a front for researching mind control, and that Project Monarch was based on research conducted by Dr. Josef Mengele, whom they claim was an "adept in Caballistic magic" assisted by "Askenazi hasidic black magic adepts." (This is a variation on the claim that Jews actually orchestrated the Holocaust)

Groups that are part of the Illuminati and practice Monarch mind control include (but are not limited to) The Catholic Church/Jesuits, Mormons, Assembly of God churches, the Watchtower Society, Hasidic Judaism, modern witchcraft, Druidry, Santeria, Freemasons, Golden Dawn, NASA, and professional baseball. (I think we can agree that some of these groups are very harmful, but that doesn't mean they're part of this conspiracy he's talking about.)

There are many different types of Monarch alter programming, including but not limited to gem programming, elemental programming, flower programming, color programming, Gumby programming, beehive programming, sex kitten programming, Greek letter programming, carousel programming, demon programming, alien programming, Mensa programming, Atlantis programming, paper doll programming, tumbleweed programming, waterjar shaking programming, Cinderella programming - it goes on.

"Body programs" can be installed to cause hearing problems, circulation issues, headaches, digestive problems, heart failure - basically, all those health problems that people who aren't conspiracy theorists would explain through allergies, stress, mental illness, or just common flaws of the human body.

Most slaves have "end-time programming," and will be activated to round up and kill opponents of the NWO when the time comes from the Antichrist to take power. (Again, it's been over twenty years.

Cisco Wheeler was programmed to be part of the Antichrist's elite imperial guard.

They claim, and I quote, "drugs, torture, hypnosis and MPD all work to enhance memory" and "most slaves have some photographic memory capability." They also claim that systemwide photographic memory can be created through brain stem scarring. (Conspiracy theorists literally made this up.)

The brains of Monarch slaves are more active than normal people's brains, because both sides of the Monarch slave's brain work simultaneously. (Both sides of everyone's brains are working all the time, that is literally how brains work.)

Mind control implants have been a thing since the 1960's. One woman had an implant disguised as a pubic hair. JZ Knight had an audio implant in her teeth that activated her to become a New Age leader. Microchip implants can affect DNA growth. "Fiber optic" mind control devices can be shot into the skin from a distance. (You can tell they rely on their audience to not understand anything about electronics in addition to neuroscience.)

Switching alters can literally change the color of your eyes. (It's impossible for someone's eyes to instantly switch color in the same way it's impossible for their skin to instantly change color.)

Fairy tales, fantasy media, movies, and television shows are full of deliberate programming. Some (but not all) of the media Springmeier and Wheeler implicate includes The Wizard of Oz, The Chronicles of Narnia, Alice in Wonderland, Disney films in general, A Little Princess, Star Trek, Star Wars, E.T., Tiny Toons, The Simpsons, Frankenstein, Bewitched, and Labyrinth.

Basically, any piece of entertainment that isn't morally pure from a far right Christian perspective is part of the Illuminati's plan to corrupt the youth and lead them down the patch of witchcraft and into satanism.

The story of the Golem is actually about a mind-controlled slave, and that "the main goal of the Cabala is to create a mind-controlled slave called a golem." Also, the Brothers Grimm were "Cabalistic Jews." (For a guy who insists he's not antisemitic, Fritz Springmeier sure likes to accuse people of being Jewish and demonize Jewish stuff.)

Famous Illuminati slaves include (but are not limited to) Marilyn Monroe, Elvis Presley, Roseanne Barr, Bette Midler, Madonna, and the Beatles. They claim Charles Manson was programmed with Beatles music.

(List break here because this whole thing was longer than Tumblr's allowed block length. Again, I emphasize, I am only posting a small sample of the BS they put in their books.)

The Illuminati's intelligence agencies have programmed "thousands upon thousands of slaves." The Naval Ordinance Test Station at China Lake was actually a Monarch programming facility, where thousands of babies were kept in cages. "Lots of 1000 babies was a small batch," and "many batches were 2000 or 3000 babies."

The average Monarch system is programmed with 1000 alters.

The Illuminati prefers to program blond, blue-eyed children without visible body defects or scars. (Funny how these conspiracy theorists keep claiming to hate white supremacy, then insist blond, blue-eyed children are special targets.)

The Illuminati has no trouble finding sadistic torturers because, and I quote, "essentially all human males can be taught to engage in sadistic behavior." In fact, the Illuminati's Mothers of Darkness are often necessary to make sure the male torturers don't go too far.

The Illuminati used chimpanzees to physically torture children. (The pair of them clearly do not understand how strong chimpanzees actually are.)

Babies can learn to read by six months old with the use of subliminal tapes.

Learning to write backwards makes you more likely to dissociate. (Bizarre variant on old 'Satan does things backwards to mock God' canard.)

Failed Monarch programming/TBMC causes autism. Autism is when children withdraw from the world and retreat into themselves. (If there's two things we know about autism, it's that it's not traumagenic, and it's not about withdrawing from the world to retreat into your own mind.)

If you hang someone upside down long enough, they will begin to reverse pain and pleasure. Yeah, supposedly, if you physically reverse a person's body, their mind will start reversing, too. This, apparently, is how we get kinksters who like pain.

Scars can be made more visible via hypnotic command, and this has been a thing in the occult world for centuries. (Modern version of the Devil's Mark/witch's tit myth.)

Moles are a sign of prior electroshock torture. (Another modern version of the Devil's mark/witch's tit myth.)

King Hezekiah - yes, the Biblical King Hezekiah - was a child victim of satanic ritual abuse. (Of course the Bible chapter they cite - 2 Chronicles 29 - mentions nothing of the sort.)

Direct quote, "Vice-President Al Gore is a vampire and carries a briefcase of blood with him." (Modern conspiracy theorists love to sling blood libel at Democrats.)

Hillary Clinton is an Illuminati Grand Dame and programmer. (Gotta accuse those Democrat women of being witches.)

Roma people practice cannibalism. (Pure anti-Romani racism.)

The Illuminati has the cure for AIDS.

Adrenochrome is a secret black market drug. (This is a modern form of blood libel.)

Snuff pornography is a real thing. (It's really not.)

Being on Prozac makes you susceptible to becoming homicidal or suicidal if you're exposed to certain electromagnetic frequencies. The Illuminati is deliberately exposing people to these frequencies to increase these behaviors in order to get anti-gun legislation passed.

Cellphone towers emit electromagnetic frequencies that can control people's minds.

Putting one's hands behind one's head is a secret Illuminati hand signal meaning "I'm master." Folding one's hands is a secret Illuminati symbol for "you can't break the circle." Thumb-twiddling is an Illuminati hand signal for S&M. Other normal, everyday hand positions/gestures/movements are given equally conspiratorial explanations.

The "Vulcan peace sign" is an Illuminati/occult greeting. (This claim isn't just demonizing Star Trek - it's antisemitic.)

High-ranking members of the Illuminati hold fancy cannibal dinner parties and feed children to lions and tigers.

Lots and lots of child sacrifice happens. There's even rituals where children sacrifice other children and eat their hearts.

The shape of your skull affects your personality, and the Illuminati creates permanent personality changes by changing the shapes of people's skulls. (This is literally phrenology, which is pseudoscience.)

The Illuminati implants real, actual demons into victims, which can only be removed through Christian deliverance. Also, accepting Jesus as one's Lord and Savior is the only way for victims to truly heal, no ifs, ands, buts, or maybes.

Down's Syndrome can be cured with cranial manipulation. (Craniosacral therapy is quackery.)

Many people diagnosed with schizophrenia have actually been given implants by the government.

Ronald Reagan is "our future president." (Yes, Fritz Springmeier wrote these words during the Clinton administration.)

The US government has built 140 massive underground bases for various purposes, including housing "several varieties of aliens."

The Illuminati has been creating human clones and biological robot doubles for years, and has created such doubles for politicians such as Jimmy Carter. (Allegations of clones and duplicates goes back to the witch hunts, where witch hunters would claim Satan conjured up doubles for witches so their families wouldn't miss them while they went to the witches' sabbath. Also, it's a form of dehumanization.)

Therapists treating victims of alter programming/trauma-based mind control should separate their clients from their programmer (read: isolate them from friends, family, and acquaintances) and hold multi-hour therapy sessions to help them remember their abuse and discover their hidden alters (read: make sure they're constantly exposed to this narrative so they'll start to internalize it and begin "remembering" what you want). Wheeler outright says that the "better therapists" will wear down their clients with lengthy question and answer sessions. She recommends having a team of therapists to work on a single client, with a female mother figure and male father figure.

Depression is a sin that comes from a lack of faith.

Trance-Formation of America is a good example of how mind control victims are treated. (Trance-Formation of America is also part of the Project Monarch/alter programming conspiracy theory.)

Full quote, "All Illuminati victims of mind-control have been terrorized by their abusers about how God hates them and how God will punish them for their badness." (In other words, much of what these people are chalking up to alter programming/TBMC can very easily be explained by religious trauma from being brought up in a conservative Christian environment.)

Again, these are the types of claims made by the two people from which all of this stuff about all of these specific types of alter programming, body programs, etc. originate. Whether or not people on RAMCOA sites acknowledge Springmeier and Wheeler outright, much the stuff they're claiming can very much be traced back to them.

Now, some of you reading this might still be wondering whether the alter programming could more than a conspiracy theory; like, maybe there's actually people out there who are really doing this, even if they aren't involved in some grand sinister conspiracy. And the answer is still no.

First, this conspiracy theory effectively proposes that there was an epidemic of people engaging in this very specific practice back during a time period when the most that people knew about DID (if they knew about DID at all) came from from the Sybil book or movie (and the real "Sybil" never had DID); or even before that point, if we include the people who claimed they were programmed in the 40's-60's. The idea that all of these unconnected people all independently came up with this is simply beyond absurd. If this was a real practice being done out there by any significant number of people at all, extensive technical literature describing the procedures in full detail would have to exist. This literature would at some point have been found in the homes, workplaces, etc. of programmers. Alter programming has allegedly been practiced since at least the 1940s, and not a single piece of this literature has ever been found anywhere; not on the most depraved 4Chan user's computer, not in the edgiest occultist's library, and not in the home of any child molesting priest. The only literature that describes these supposed practices comes from conspiracy theorists, and they aren't nearly detailed enough to constitute any kind of actual manual. It's very telling that when Fritz Springmeier et al name books that supposedly contain this sort of information, the books either contain nothing of the sort (for example, old grimoires), or have no evidence of ever existing in the first place.

And while it's true that extreme trauma can cause dissociation and the formation of alters, that's about the only thing this conspiracy theory gets right. Everything else is like some kind of edgy sci-fi take on it, about as accurate to real neuroscience as Jaws is to real sharks. The people who thought they saw evidence of "structured DID" back in the day made a similar error to the people who look at natural hills and mountains and think they're seeing ancient pyramids, or look at Bimini Road and actually think it's a real man-made road rather than a natural rock formation. People would look at someone having literally any trauma response or distress behavior (which may or may not have actually involved DID or OSDD), and think they were seeing the work of some diabolical mastermind. Basically, it's a form of pareidolia. The therapists would share their beliefs with their patients, who would internalize it in their own minds, and come back with stuff that seemed to confirm their therapists' suspicions.

What's going on here is a pretty straightforward case of confabulated memory cultivation. This kind of thing happens all the time in places like the New Age starseed movement, where people start learning New Age mythology and what kind of alien beings they supposedly could have been in a past life. Whether through hypnosis, vivid dreams, or even incredibly vivid flashes of mental imagery out of the blue, people begin "remembering" supposed lost memories that simply cannot be real because real historical evidence contradicts them at nearly every turn. You can see examples of this for yourself over here and over here.

Confabulated memory cultivation isn't really practiced on purpose, per se; at least, not typically. What happens is you have people who legitimately believe that they can retrieve lost memories, whether from their childhoods or from a past life. And unlike literature that tells you how to program alters, literature that describes methods to supposedly retrieve lost memories exists in abundance. People have made jobs out of allegedly helping people retrieve lost memories ever since people believed that was a thing they could do.

The alter programming conspiracy theory was part of a mental health fad where people believed that repressed memories were the root cause of many ordinary mental and physical health problems. Symptoms of anxiety, depression, chronic stress, PTSD, C-PTSD, BPD, schizophrenia, bipolar, autism, ADHD, allergies, mast cell activation syndrome, fibromyalgia, and more are all chalked up to repressed memories and alter programming. Very, very tellingly, many of the symptoms described in this type of literature are exactly what you'd expect from religious trauma in a conservative Christian environment. In fact, the alter programming conspiracy theory implicitly denies that it would be possible to develop serious trauma from the kind of abusive parenting that conservative Christian culture encourages and condones.

Also, the fact that the ISSTD/RAMCOA SIG continues propagating the claims made by Springmeier and Wheeler definitively shows us that the purpose of ISSTD/RAMCOA-SIG is repackaging Satanic Panic and far right conspiracy theories more generally, and that the very term "Ritual Abuse, Mind Control, & Organized Abuse" is in fact a Trojan horse intended to slip all of this stuff back into legitimate psychological discourse and discussions of systemic abuse, religious abuse, human trafficking, etc. The fact that people cannot question RAMCOA without being accused of denying these things shows that this is working out really well for the the ISSTD/RAMCOA SIG right now.

I'd like to emphasize that I am not trying to say that people who were led to believe they were victims of alter programming haven't been severely abused in some way, or that none of them have DID. This conspiracy theory is very much built to prey on these sorts of people. The point I am making is that it is indeed a conspiracy theory, and that it harms many people, both with and without DID.

Now, I know there's some folks out there who have been led to believe that real evidence of widespread alter programming or even widespread ritual abuse (ie, the practice of abusive occultic rituals) were found, but conservative Christians simply co-opted real events to attack the people they didn't like. And that simply isn't what happened. It was the conspiracy theorists - people like Dr. Lawrence Pazder and Mike Warnke - who positioned themselves as ritual abuse experts and instructed police and therapists on what to look out for. It was always a literal witch hunt from the very beginning.

If you are looking for any kind of mental health support, or wish to talk about real forms of abuse, I strongly recommend avoiding terms like Satanic Ritual Abuse, Ritual Abuse, Mind Control, & Organized Abuse, Organized Abuse, Organized Extreme Abuse, Ritual Abuse, Mind Control, Trauma-Based Mind Control, and so on, because these are all terms created and used by conspiracy theorists. We have other terms to talk about real abuse, including spiritual abuse, religious abuse, systemic abuse, institutional abuse, sexual abuse, sex trafficking, and so on.

Likewise, if you see someone using these terms, you know that their information is downstream from conspiracy theorists, and therefore, is highly suspect. If you're looking for any sort of mental health/trauma support whatsoever, be very wary whenever you see someone using them. Even if they mean well, what they're putting out there is still contaminated by the myths and misinformation of the Satanic Panic, which will never support actual healing.

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magnoliasandarson · 6 months ago

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ice and stone, deadweight redux

In an odd sort of self-punishing way, Jason Todd liked to visit his own grave.

When he first "came back" he had half-crawled back to the unforgiving stone and thrown up, hysterically panicking when his mind told him it was dirt leaving his lips. He had wept and screamed until his voice gave out, trapped in a hellish loop of warring phantom sensations. One second, he was burning alive- the next, suffocating on icy mud.

But that was then, and this is now.

Now, he had once again been unable to keep his cool at a Wayne family function. Now, he had shattered an expensive-looking crystal glass in his fist and stormed out of the formal dining room. Now, he was a monster to them again. Merry-fuckin-Christmas.

So, here he sat, perched six feet over where his corpse once lay, and mourned the boy that should exist instead of him.

It was oddly festive in the cemetery. Blood-red poinsettias and fragrant garlands adorned every other monument, with little LED candles glimmering here and there. The rubble of Sheila Haywood's marble gravestone sparkled in the reflection of bright city lights—like twinkling stars shining accusingly over at him. Sue him, but Jason had taken a crowbar to her marker almost immediately after arriving in Gotham.

He stared at the epitaph: Rest in Peace. There was crystal from his glass still embedded in his hand, glittering like diamonds amidst the rivulets of blood leaving his palm. His eyes followed the journey of the shimmering scarlet over his thigh and down to the powdery snow under him.

He didn't really remember crawling out. The pits had taken away the brunt of the scars, but there were still white lines traced into the tan skin of his hands. He didn't care to think about how deep the scarring must have been for it to stay.

Jason found himself trapped, staring at the red flowers blooming beneath him. Some part of him wondered if the blood would find its way to the wreckage of his casket, to the gore he'd left in his wake so long ago. Logically, he figured Dick would wander over soon, once he got done yelling at Bruce and arguing with Damian.

He never guessed it would be Tim.

"Hey," Jason would never in a million years admit it, but he was privately a little pleased that Tim had come looking for him. He had fucked up so spectacularly with his brother, had given him every reason to despise him- to want him dead, and yet, here Tim was. Awkwardly standing just on the other side of Jason's headstone, face pinched like he'd eaten an especially sour lemon.

Jason tilted his head up, something in his neck cracking as his chin left his sternum, "Sup, Timbit."

Tim looked genuinely pained as he stepped around the grave and lowered himself to sit a few feet away on the snow, "Y'know, just seeing the sights, festive lights, my brother bleeding out in snow- the holiday favorites."

Jason barked a laugh as something in his shoulders loosened, the kid was a bit of a bastard but he was funny, "You get forced to check on the charity case?"

"Drew the short straw, yeah," Tim's face was pale, save for the red coloring his nose, "do you need a med kit?"

Jason Peter Todd; Beloved Son and Friend. Jason's lips half formed the words as he read them over again; when the blood started roaring in his ears, he clenched his fist around the shards- the fresh wave of pain grounding him, "This won't kill me."

"That's not what I asked," the vehemence in Tim's words snapped Jason out of his half-daze, electric teal eyes landing on furrowed eyebrows and a stormy gaze, "Jason, are you okay?"

Jason huffed a weak imitation of a laugh, "Is anyone in this family?"

"This isn't about them," Tim immediately countered, a line on his forehead forming. Jason hated himself for it, for making Tim look like that. This was his little brother, a kid, really, and he looked twice his age because he was forced to babysit the family basketcase.

Jason used his non-gory hand to reach into his jacket pocket and take out a cigarette. "Just tired, Tim," he tucked the unlit cigarette between his lips, lighting it up as he muttered, "That's all—just tired."

Tim's face blurred behind a cloud of smoke, for a moment erasing the unlived age from his features, "You should get more sleep."

"Hypocrite," Jason snapped back with no real heat. It was true; he should have been the one telling Tim to sleep.

The smoke cleared between them as Jason took a long, deep drag. Tim looked half apologetic as he almost whispered, "This family's specialty."

Jason scoffed, unable to stop himself from nearly shouting, "You don't need to tell me that," he pointed his cigarette to the ice-glazed stone before them, "I'm not even a Wayne, Mr. CEO Drake-Wayne." It was cruel, it was mean, but Jason couldn't force himself to care.

Tim's face contorted again, coloring up to his ears with old anger and bitterness. Some cruel part of Jason's mind cheered. Finally, the kid was going to be honest. Go on, yell at the boogeyman who hurt you, tell him to go to Hell. Really end the holiday with a bang. The kid took a long, controlled breath, and evenly asked, "Are you okay, Jason?"

Jason grimaced at the bullshit question, pressing his bloody palm into the scarlet snow as he stood, flicking his spent cigarette at Sheila, "Just dead weight, Tim,"

He turned his back to the boy shivering on the snow, "That's all I ever was."

#dc comics #dc universe #batman #robin #batfam #jason todd #bruce wayne #dick grayson #tim drake #red hood #red robin #dc robin #timothy drake #tim drake robin #tim drake wayne #batfamily #jason peter todd #sheila haywood

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dangermousie · 7 months ago

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2024 kdrama post

We are already in December and nothing new I am likely to be interested in is gonna drop before the end of the year - and if it does it will run into 2025 so I can address it in my 2025 kdrama post, unless we are all ruled by lizard aliens by then.

Normally I list all the dramas made this year that I watch, thoughts on them, blah blah but this year I disliked most of the kdramas I tried (it was the worst kdrama year for me since 2006 when I first started!) and I don't want to make a giant negative post, so I am going to only mostly talk about the kdramas I enjoyed in some capacity.

From least to most:

Love Your Enemy - I don't really like it tbh, but it's here for nostalgia over JJH.

Tell Me You Love Me - good and quiet but suffers in comparison to the original and that FL actress is just not my cup of tea.

Connection - Ji Sung gives a powerhouse performance in a very solid crime drama; it's not higher because it's just not my genre.

The Midnight Shop - it was nice seeing Joo Won in not a disaster of a drama. It wasn't as engrossing as it could have been but I did like both the mains and rooted for them.

Knight Flower - was I emotionally involved? Nah. Was I entertained? Yeah.

The Judge From Hell - "was I emotionally involved? Nah. Was I entertained? Yeah." Redux.

Queen of Tears - honestly, it should probably be in the below category but I enjoyed myself for the first half so much, I am willing to pretend the nonsense disaster plots and character interactions of second half were not as bad as they were.

My Demon - sucker for supernatural romance fantasy done right (to me it was, I know some people didn't like it.)

Goryeo Khitan War - I put it on my 2023 list too so it's double dipping but whatever. This is just a grand old school sageuk and I adored every moment.

Lovely Runner - normally youth dramas bore me but this one was so sweet, so lovely, so pitch perfect.

Black Out - did not really feel like a kdrama at all, more like a prestige BBC production, but I loved it anyway, as bleak and harrowing as it was.

When the Phone Rings - my current obsession, old school melo the way they haven't made in years.

The sad thing is, a number of these dramas started airing in 2023 and/or beginning of the year. Most of this year has been the Sahara.

Dramas which I enjoyed off the start and then fell off the cliff into what the hell land: Captivating the King (wonderful first 4-5 episodes, OK few following, stupid as hell the rest - solid acting brought down by a ridiculous script), The Story of Park's Marriage Contract (great first two eps and then downhill rapidly with each following episode), Love Song For Illusion (first ep not bad, second ep tolerable, after that with each ep, my ff fingers got twitchier and twitchier.)

OTP of the year: Duh, Baek Sa Eon x Hong Hui Joo, When the Phone Rings, have you seen this tumblr lately?

Trend I wish would die: 8 ep kdramas, 12 ep kdramas. Bring back freaking 16 ep as a minimum standard. Also pls get Disney and Netlfix out of kdrama world while we are on impossible wishes.

Genre I need less of: romcoms; Genre I need more of: proper sageuk.

Worst waste of my eyeballs: The Impossible Heir.

Most boobs per minute: Queen Woo.

Best non-2024 kdrama I watched this year: Beyond Evil. A total masterpiece.

And that's a wrap!

(My cdrama post is gonna be insane in comparison to this.)

#kdrama #kdrama 2024

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awkwardwhims · 1 year ago

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I was asked what sdv mods I use; so here we go! The list is quite lengthy so I put them under the cut. Remember, alot of these mods require other mods to work properly so make sure to check their requirements before downloading!

animals Elle's Cuter Barn Animals Elle's Cuter Cats Elle's Cuter Coop Animals Elle's Cuter Dogs Elle's Cuter Horses Elle's Town Animals Bees Moths Hummingbirds Ladybugs

buildings Aimon's More Lively Quarry Overhaul Aimon's Tidy Cozy Farmhouse Aimon's Tidy Cozy Cellar Aimon's Tidy Cozy Ginger Island Farmhouse Gweniaczek's Medieval Themed Sheds (Earthy) Gweniaczek's Medieval Buildings Gweniaczek's Fish Ponds Gweniaczek's Way Back Pelican Town Gweniaczek's Shipping Chest Gweniaczek's Pigeon Mailbox Gweniaczek's Stable & Tractor Garage Green Farm Cave Shyzie's String Lights

character Starkissed Skintones DCBurger's High Res Portraits Hats Won't Mess Up Hair More Elegant Farmer Body Fae's Elf Ears Fashion Sense Ani's Colored Collection & Recolored Pants Missy's Shirts Shardust's Animated Hairstyles Yomi's Golden Princess Hairystyle

cheats CJB Cheats Menu CJB Item Spawner Community Center Helper Destroyable Bushes Instant Buildings From Farm Let's Move It NPC Map Locations Passable Crops Place Furniture Outside (Furniture Anywhere Redux) Save Anywhere

crafting Gweniaczek's Medieval Craftables Nano's Garden Style Craftables Atelier Wildflour Flower Shoppe

crops Cuter Crops & Foraging Quaint Living Flower Garden 2 Atelier Wildflour Crops & Forage Nature's Bounty (Cannabis)

furniture Guxelbit's Furniture Adorable Cottage Bathroom Atlas Plasma TV Cottagecore Beds Dustbeauty's Industrial Furniture Greenhouse Set H&W Outdoor Furniture Pack H&W Outdoor Furniture Recolor Mega Pack H&W Bathroom Furniture H&W Fairy Garden Furniture H&W Fairy Garden Furniture Recolor Mega Pack H&W Farmer's Market H&W Farmer's Market (Wildflour's Set) H&W Greenhouse Furniture H&W Greenhouse Furniture Recolor Set H&W Romantic Furniture H&W Romantic Fountains & Arches Lovely Kitchen Mi's & Magimatica Country Furniture Modern Farm Computer Rustic Country Walls & Floors Seasonal Open Windows (Brown) Divine Decor

gameplay Market Town Tractor Mod Old School Bouncy Tractor

items/retextures Terracotta Garden Pots DSHi Food Retexture DSHi Minerals Retexture DSHi Shipping Items Retexture

farm maps Overgrown Garden Farm

expansions Ridgeside Village

visual aesthetics Animated Bird Tappers Too Many Swatches II DaisyNiko's Earthy Interface DaisyNiko's Earthy Interiors DaisyNiko's Earthy Recolor Earthy Ridgeside Village Elle's Dirt & Cliff Recolor Elle's Grass Replacement Firefly Torch Darker Paths & Floors Seasonal Fences Stardew Foliage Redone (an edit done for 1.6)

UPDATED: April 7th, 2024

#stardew valley #sdv #stardew mods #stardew mods list #stardew valley mods list #sdv mods #stardew 1.6 #stardew farmer

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shallowseeker · 9 months ago

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There are a lot of nervous breakdowns in SPN that are very tied up with delayed grief reactions.

S4 Sam - Drinking demon blood is a reaction to losing Dean; to being horrified that Dean could die and having a disgust-reaction to his weakness as a way to protect himself from the emotions he has about Dean's mortality; Sam was desperate to be stronger. He couldn't unpack why.

S6 Cas - Being murdered by Heaven (Raphael), and though he returned to Heaven to be "the new sheriff," he was paranoid of even the angels close to him because of *waves at all of S4-5* That paranoia and withdrawal into himself reached into every relationship he has. He watched his loved ones suffer, so he decided to be the one to "Put a Stop to It--to All of It"

S7 Cas - Nihilism; (The endless repetition of life and deriving no meaning from it; route of flowers being a predestined plan is also a "nothing matters" nod); Feelings of guilt and the need for penance, terminating in s8 "suicide" / wanting to stay in purgatory *is* suicide btw

S8 Cas - Brainwashing redux; Guilt, lots of changes here, as a result of the brainwashing he needs space to figure out what he's feeling and who he trusts; Nervous about his "crippling" emotions for the human fam but ALSO Feeling afraid of heaven (re: The great escapist and Metatron "Heaven's powers always spill over (to the humans)" and "Who's it gonna be, Castiel, her or YOUR family (human family)?"

S8 Sam - Great big Sam nervous breakdown; totally paralyzed and running away. Even Amelia-Sam was part OF the freakout, something Amelia's father, someone that knew her well and cared about her, recognized (Amelia doesn't wanna go back to her husband, because he can *die* and maybe she's like Sam too in that she's completely allergic to grief, hey?); Sam oscillates between CHECKOUT OF REALITY and WE GOTTA STICK TO THE HUNTING CODE(TM) the same way Dean clung to the simpler hunting code at the beginning of s7; "Don't choke!" Both boys veer between all-or-nothing with regards to the hunting life

S9 Dean - Gadreel and Kevin and feeling like he was doing the wrong thing; Sam's willingness to commit suicide; Cas's symbolic suicide, then Cas falling—we see in Dean’s speech to Metatron that he was desperate to also "Put a Stop to It—to All of It" and his reasons were spelled out clearly, protecting Sam and the distress over Cas's grace/falling/being wronged BY Metatron

S10 Sam - Reacting to Dean's death AGAIN; Reacting to the terrible knowledge that everyone was always sacrificing for him and not the other way around; also a delayed grief reaction to how his family locked him up for detox; and of being an addict himself and fearing that it would end in black eyes and blood (he's not exactly wrong, either; he just went too far)

S10 Cas - Delayed reaction to Jimmy Novak's passing; meeting Claire and wanting to be "like a human"; his guilt was so overpowering; also dealing with his hypocrisy (re: Metatron) about wanting to stay on the earth

S10 Dean - Loss of free will redux, but in the disinhibited direction; dealing with feelings of shame over the loss of free will and past experiences where he also felt powerless or manipulated; he (like Claire Novak) overall tends to choose forgiveness, trying to understand and give grace to those who wronged him; also dealing with being Cole's "Azazel," the parallel to Claire dealing with her "Azazels"

S11 Cas - Delayed reaction to Dean dying in s9, reaction to his grace power reduction (he got his grace BACK and it was damaged), also feeling powerless to protect anyone; the attack dog spell etc etc; Sacrifices himself to the cause

S12 Mary - Huge breakdown because she was ripped from her life and is grieving her entire family as she knew it; feeling like she can't escape from hunting and she corrupted John and in reading his journal she empathizes with his plight while struggling with the cruelty of it; she decides if she can't escape then maybe she can "Put a Stop to It—to All of It."

S12 Cas - Still struggling with the mortality of the human fam (First Blood) and his lack of strength, See Lily Sunder and Stuck in the Middle with You as crisis points. Was enticed by Jack keeping his power because that means he'd have a fam member who could outlive him. The script taps into Cas's wants: Kelly to be at peace, Sam to be free, Dean to be *ahem* thankful, and himself to be strong. Nephilim gives him a cause to not feel guilty about being on earth because it's a Mission (TM)

Nervous breakdowns, man. I can keep going. There are so many nervous breakdowns. SO MANY. And when you look at them AS nervous breakdowns, they make more sense.

#tfw problems

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