#short incorrect quote

[achromatophoric]

Morticia: Wednesday's at that very special age when an Addams has only one thing on their mind.

Esther: *scoffs* Homicide?

Wednesday: *ominously* Your daughter.

[mothsaresc4ry]

It was in the middle of the night. Yoko was recording a very wasted Enid Sinclair on her phone

Enid: *kneeling infront of a tall, gothic looking floor lamp with a lace lampshade* Wednesday Friday Addams.. *sways from side to side* MY BELOVED! Will you do me the great honor.. of becoming my eternally hot goth wife?

Yoko:

Yoko: Enid.. Enid.. it's a lamp..

Enid: SHE IS GLOWING WITH LOVE OKAY?!

Enid:

Enid: My dark moonlight mistress...

[novixt]

Wednesday: ¿De dónde sacaste ese artilugio del infierno?

Enid: ¿Te gusta? ¡Estaba en oferta!

Wednesday, acercándose de manera peligrosa con un encendedor en la mano: ¿Vas a hacerme vudú?

Enid: No sé, ¿tu sientes algo cuando hago esto?

Enid abraza el peluche y le da un besito en la frente, pero esquiva a tiempo una daga lanzada por Wednesday que atraviesa la cabeza de la muñeca y la clava en la pared.

Enid: ¡Oye!

Wednesday: Creo que funcionó, porque sentí mucha envidia justo ahora.

Enid, amenazándola con sus garras: ¡Arréglalo! Y pobre de ti que ya no baile ¡tu la reemplazarás si no funciona

[alien-slushie]

*No One Knows AU*

Lancer: Mr. Fenton can I have a word? It's about your assignment.

Danny: Oh gosh it was horrible wasn't it.

Lancer: No it was actually well written, however the subject matter is....concerning.

Danny: How so?

Lancer: ....You wrote a very...detailed story about a teenager dying via electrocution. It was extremely graphic and, after some research, accurate.

Danny: Yeah?

Lancer: Honestly that's not even the worst part! The boy then goes on to haunt their family, watching and unable to interact with anyone or anything while it takes months for them to even realise their son is dead, and they find him in the basement!

Danny, head tilt: What's your point?

Lancer: Are you okay?

Danny, eerily: There's nothing to worry about Mr. Lancer. It's just 'fiction' after all.

Lancer, gets the chills: ...Right, well if you say so. As for your grade, I gave you a c+. It's well written, well researched, and you didn't have many spelling or grammar errors, but the prompt was "Write a Story from the Perspective of Your Future self", and this was, of your own admittance, fiction.

Danny: I'll keep that in mind. Can I go now?

Lancer, nodding: Of course just try to keep with the prompt next time please.

Danny: *leaves*

Lancer, sighing in relief: To Kill a Mocking Bird, that child scares me.

[my-names-angel-but-im-not-one]

Mc: at the end of the day , we're just human beans

Solomon: and together we shall rice

Mc: lettuce pray

Solomon: Ramen.

Satan: ....

Satan: what language are you two speaking?

[the-medieval-husbands]

I just imagine Merlin gentle parenting Arthur and the other knights when they're drunk.

Merlin: No. Gwain no, put the sword down. No weapons in the tavern.... Leon, if I have to tell you again that we don't stand on chairs, we're going home!

Arthur: Merlin! Come sit with me!

Merlin: Sire, I'm a little busy at the moment. Drink your ale.

Arthur: But Merlin! I want you over here now!

Merlin huffs and goes over and stands infront of him.

Merlin: Okay, what?

Arthur: *pulls Merlin down in his lap*

Merlin: Arthur! You cabbage head! Let me go! People will see!

Gwain: Oooooo mom and dad are fighting again....

Percival: Shut up and drink your ale or mom will smack you.

Merlin: I heard that!

[taintedmind6669]

Wade: *stroking Logan’s hair* you’re so tiny.

Logan: *sleepily* I could beat the shit out of you.

Wade: *lovingly* I know.

[shyjusticewarrior]

Steph: Jason, on a scale of one-to-five, you scored a three.

Jason: Yes! Yes!

Steph: This will limit your dating pool to widows, lady plumbers, and convicts.

Jason: I still consider this a victory.

Steph: Tim, your score is... yeesh! Ya know, scores don't really matter. You should just focus on being you.

Steph: Duke, on a scale of one-to-five, you scored... a twelve?

Duke: My mom was right all along, I am the world's most perfect man.

[protagaster]

Odysseus: My wife is too tall for me to kiss her. What do I do?

Ctimene: Punch her in the stomach. Then, when she doubles down in pain, kiss her.

Circes: Tackle her.

Calypso: Dump her.

Penelope: NO! DO NOT DO ANY OF THOSE THINGS! ASK ME TO BEND DOWN!

[a-great-tragedy]

Regulus was that one short kid who would not hesitate to climb the fucking shelves, because he would rather do that then ask for help

James: Reg.. what are you doing up there?

Regulus: *Clinging on for dear life while also trying to grab a book* Nothing.

James: Okay.. *grabs book* You know I was actually looking for this. I think I’ll take it for myself-

Regulus: *Still hanging on* You bastard-

[mothsaresc4ry]

Enid: I'm just saying, if we got attacked by a demon, I'd totally protect you

Wednesday: With what exactly? Glitter and unearned optimism?

Enid: I—

Enid: —yes?

Wednesday: *sighs* I'd let the demon take you just to see what happens

Wednesday: For science

The couch had a new gothic friend that night

[not-rab]

[Grimmauld Place tour]

Regulus, to James: Oh look, the door post where Kreacher measured our heights.

Regulus: I was always half an inch taller than Sirius, not that it matters.

Regulus: But it does.

[incorrectquotesfromthelighthouse]

Davrin: [to Lucanis] Should I get you a step stool so you can look me in the eye when you threaten me?

[itsgravesart]

This idea has been rotting in my head for weeks. Bonus Panel:

[devildomwriter]

Calling An American MC on the 4th of July

Mammon: “What’s all that noise in the background MC?”

MC: “Oh that? I’m playing a game called guess if that’s a legal gun or illegal firework. The whole state is participating, wanna join?”

Mammon: “…”

Mammon: “Who the fuck banned fireworks?”

MC: “I dunno.”

[astraeajackson]

xander: hi, i'm xander! short for alexander

xander: this is gray, short for grayson

xander: this is jamie, short for jameson

xander: and this is nash... he's just short :)

nash: for the LAST TIME-