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say what you will about leigh bardugo's worldbuilding choices but "guy who's hiding his superpowers is so constantly understimulated he developed a gambling addiction to cope" is fucking brilliant actually

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in absolute tears about the pride module at my work

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No honor.

DOES ANYONE HERE KNOW WHAT VAN ECK'S PROBLEM IS??

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😭

It’s a small sample size but 60 FUCKING PERCENT

Do you ship...

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Someone scream at me to finish one of my tbrs or istfg.

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Now it's me to land... just as soon as I decide which of these two runways to aim for.

And I'm happy to tell you that I feel LUCKY

You may have noticed the take off run was a little bumpy, especially over the golf course

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This isnt fandom shit

But I was diagnosed with Celiac disease yesterday (like, probably celiac, tbd with further testing), and it's not like the you're-gonna-die-if-you-catch-a-wiff-of-gluten celiac, but the my-stomach-hurts-once-a-month celiac. Google is.. unhelpful to the say the least (apparently tomorrow's my deathday?), and doctor's visits will have to wait, so I've come to my preferred social media. If anyone's got any insight that they'd care to share, words of "no you're not going to die you stupid bitch" that'd be... helpful.

Thanks!

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I have exactly two weeks to read The Gearbreakers

Before I have to give it back to the person I loaned it from. To many I’m sure that feels like forever, but I suffer from lack of motivation to do things I enjoy and a race against the clock to do math. I’m on page 60-something and what I thought was going to be an obvious lukewarm adventure is turning G A Y, very quickly indeed.

(see below an excerpt that describes me about every woman ever)

The person who lent me this copy also has some riveting commentary to spare. While I was flipping through, trying to get some idea about the emotional rollercoasters of this book (I fear change), I came across some choice ones, but the only one that my rat brain thought to photograph was the following (spoiler alert?)

So yeah. This is a shitpost to its core, but I needed to get it out there in order to have motivation to actually finish the book. if anyone wants my actual thoughts, I’d be more than happy to give them, as long as everyone remembers that my opinions are unequivocally correct. If nobody wants my actual thoughts, I’ll still post them because… ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

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A return??

hi okay

So I really haven’t posted anything on the hellsite for like a while, because I’ve been getting a weirdass mental block whenever I think about it, but posting unironically helps me like. Be creative??? And write shit??? And have actual thoughts about books??? And movies??? And shows??? That don’t float around in the swampy Jell-O that my brain has turned into??

There’s literally no point to this post, it’s just a pathway to make me feel comfortable wordvomiting on my blog again

<33

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I- I- just saw- someone saying- that Helnik are better off as friends-

I’m mentally unwell.

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Yes. Yes. Yes. A thousand times yes.

let me say it again: Nina Zenik is not skinny. She is fat. She is hot. Those two things are not mutually exclusive, so why am I still seeing fanart where she’s thin?????

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This might be a completely unpopular opinion (and it also might be wrong because it’s been A MINUTE, to say the least) but I hate the shadow and bone Netflix series. Hate it. Despise it. I remember watching half of the first episode and internally dying. They did the books so wrong.

Unfortunately just the mixing of the plot lines wasn’t the main issue for me.

They ruined Nina.

I have nothing against the actress who played Nina, not her portrayal if she was a stand-alone character in the Netflix series, apart from the books.

But Nina is MY GIRL. She’s not a flower she’s every blossom in the forest blooming at once. She is a tidal wave. She is overwhelming. She likes food. She loves waffles. She’s a flirt. She’s big, she’s loud, she isn’t proper.

When I was a youngling reading SOC for the first time, I read about Nina and felt okay for the first time in a while. Maybe the first time in my life. Because you could be beautiful and big. You could be graceful in battle but not when you’re plummeting. You can suck at the delicate art of tailoring.

You can say ‘I do not want to see that bird’ when someone says ‘You’re light as a feather’ without the stab in the heart.

I love Nina Zenik so much, I feel like she doesn’t get enough love in the fandom. And then again, I haven’t been active in the fandom for very long. I may be completely off-pace here.

But I love Nina Zenik, and I wanted to see my happy, shameless, loud and provocative girl on screen.

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Hello friends and welcome back to the saga of

My Friend Is Reading Shadow And Bone And Complaining To Me About It

(this is posted with permission)

I have two not-so-spectacular additions today, as he reads Siege and Storm:

1) He couldn’t find the lake off of the palaces on the map included in the books. He was quite disturbed to discover that it was part of Os Alta

2) When asked about which part he was one, he wrote the following:

I can’t help but agree with all of his rants, and as a rabid S&B fan I’m dying. He has a whole third book to get through, so it’s doubtless that the saga will continue

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Did a book report/oral presentation on A Closed and Common Orbit that was supposed to last 6 minutes total, with maybe one or two minutes talking about the plot.

I talked for 8 minutes

5 minutes explaining the plot & the book.

It was worth it.

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Update: He’s on Siege & Storm. I received the following thread of texts:

“Can’t wait until mal does something other than scowling at sturmhond!!!’”

“Love how he just sits there in the corner like Alina’s angry ass cat”

Included was the following image:

BUT WAIT. THATS NOT ALL

“Permission to skip to the third book 🥺👉👈”

Now I’ll admit it’s been like three years since I read S&S for the first time, and I love Mal with all my heart, but once again-

Why’s he kinda right?

I’m losing my mind

My friend finished SOC and I got him onto shadow & bone and now he texts me every few hours like

WHY DOES ALINA TALK ABOUT MAL SO MUCH

Can Alina shut tf up about Mal

PLEASE TELL ME MAL DIES

and like I feel so betrayed but that’s kind of valid??

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So for context I play a ttrpg called Fate (if you don’t know it search it up, it’s pretty cool) and at some point in the campaign, when we were trying to get some glue to fix a sand dollar (long story) my friend rolled a natural +4, which with his bonuses came out to a +7 except then he used a Fate point to make it a +9.

And then the GM allowed him infinite glue forevermore which he kindly shared with us.

BOY OH BOY DID WE EXPLOIT THIS GLUE. Even though it didn’t have any true uses in the game beyond fixing the sand dollar, we used it everywhere, all the time. Need a rope? Use some glue. Need to fix Humpty Dumpty (again, long story), use some glue. Need to fix your emotional wounds from finding out that a really cute dog was actually a gigantic wolf that was Death itself?

USE

SOME

GLUE

It got to the point where we were annoying the GM quite seriously with our reference to The Infinite Glue ™️, and eventually we just sorta broke him.

Today the GM decided to make it impossible for us to get to our destination with swiftness without crossing a potential enemy’s path (we couldn’t take the long route because we had a time-sensitive package to deliver). We rolled, and decided to succeed at a minor cost.

A bit stumped for ideas, we asked the GM for a suggestion.

The first thing he said?

Give up the fucking glue.

We gave up a magical vine of thorns that puts its victims to sleep immediately to protect a seemingly useless bucket of glue

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Showering myself with johnlock posts until I get the emotional and mental strength to read a johnlock fic bc I really want to

Do send prayers, I’ve always had a mental block against reading all fanfics because I’m a little bitch