absolutely-esme - Tumblr blog

[absolutely-esme]

People often say that a picture is worth a thousand words, but rarely do we see a single image that tells a story this well.

[absolutely-esme]

About the What do you mean he's not Eldritch au

So a while ago, I had this idea for an au.

Now I'm trying to decide between two primary routes the story could follow, if I end up writing it. I can't promise that I'll go with the poll results, or that I'll even write and post the story any time soon, but I'd still like to get some opinions on this (and maybe see if I'd have people to share a story with).

In one Alfred is a human who has no issue with rangling a family of Eldritch entities. In this case, he realizes that Tim is a weird human and not an Eldritch entity the first time he meets him. The Bats' misunderstanding resolves faster, and there are fewer instances of hilarity ensuing due to the misunderstanding.

It will probably also take a bit longer for them to get really close because, once they know he's human, the Bats try to be more careful with Tim and also stop offering advice on how to human properly (feeling a bit embarrassed about trying to tell a human how to act human). ...at least until further misunderstandings are resolved because Tim would dearly like to continue receiving advice on social interaction.

The relationships between the characters will have to overcome the Bats' fear of hurting or upsetting their human friend and both sides' fear of rejection.

There will be angst mixed in with the Crack and fluff. I don't know how much or little.

In the other route, Alfred is an eldritch entity too. He doesn't have the perspective to immediately clock Tim as human. The kids relax around each other and the Bat Family unreservedly welcomes Tim into their fold.

The Bats have no qualms loosening their human guises around their fellow eldritch entities and happily share inside jokes and advice with him. Tim is honored to be trusted with their secrets, allowed to share in parts of their life that they usually keep hidden, and happily shares his own experiences with them. They grow close quickly.

By the time the Bats learn that Tim is human, they've already established that they can be themselves with him and that the advice is appreciated and helpful (it also helps that the reveal comes with an explanation of what autism is).

There's more funny misunderstandings and fluff and less angst in this route.

[absolutely-esme]

me holding a gun to a mushroom: tell me the name of god you fungal piece of shit

mushroom: can you feel your heart burning? can you feel the struggle within? the fear within me is beyond anything your soul can make. you cannot kill me in a way that matters

me cocking the gun, tears streaming down my face: I’M NOT FUCKING SCARED OF YOU

[absolutely-esme]

Let Dick kick his enemies at 80 miles per hour.

[absolutely-esme]

No promises, but if I actually wrote a fic for this, Tim would be a later addition to the Bat Family. He wouldn't necessarily join at a later time or an older age, but more of the others would join before him.

Also, Jason never died. The Joker doesn't have the power to kill an eldritch entity.

None of the horrible stuff stemming from Jason's death happened.

Tim isn't managing a violent and self destructive Batman. The other kids just saw him being his weird self and went "One of us. One of us."

Duke Thomas might be an eldritch entity or half human half eldritch. Either way, he's very bright in his other form.

Leslie is not an Eldritch entity but is the only doctor in Gotham who knows how to treat them. She is not at all intimidated or unnerved by them. She takes no shit from anyone.

The biggest thing I'm divided on is whether Alfred is a human rangling his Eldritch family members into some semblance of propriety, or an Eldritch entity doing much the same. (Either way he will be giving a mass of writhing darkness an unimpressed look while saying "do try and make yourself presentable before greeting the guests. We don't want a repeat of The Incident.")

The biggest difference is this.

If Alfred is human, he will be the one to realize that Tim is human and that reveal will happen a bit faster

If Alfred is Eldritch, the misunderstanding will last longer, and they won't realize Tim is human until they get him an appointment for a checkup with the only doctor in the city who knows how to treat eldritch entities (after being properly horrified that he's only ever seen human exclusive doctors who wouldn't know what signs to look for in regard to eldritch health issues). Leslie has to explain what neurodivergence is.

I'm not sure what Alfred's eldritch form would look like. All that comes to mind when I try to think of what his Eldritch vibe would be is the ticking of a room full of old clocks.

What do you mean he's not eldritch?

What if all of the members of the Bat Family other than Tim Drake were secretly eldritch abominations?

They all work very hard at pretending to be human, and they've even gotten pretty good at passing. They can even mostly avoid the uncanny valley when in their civilian identities. There was a heck of a learning curve, but they've gotten things figured out for the most part.

Enter: Tim Drake

Weird, poorly socialized, probably autistic Tim Drake

The Bats think they've encountered a fellow eldritch being in disguise, and one that seems like he could use some help blending in. Naturally, they're quick to welcome him into their fold. Jason is delighted to take his turn at being a big brother mentor.

It takes a comedically long time for anyone to realize something's up because there is an absurd amount of overlap between stuff you need to know for masking and stuff you need to know to pass as human.

Meanwhile, Tim is amazed that the Bats have apparently decided he's cool enough to hang out with. It's like something out of his daydreams. They even have good advice for him on problems he hadn't known how to ask about. They are so patient and understanding about it, too. They never get annoyed with him for not already knowing. They also seem to be okay with the bits of weirdness he can't change.

Just weird kid Tim getting bundled into an incredibly helpful and supportive found family of eldritch entities. They're all going to get a good grade in human-ing, something that is both normal to want and possible to achieve.

...

I imagine the Bats are various different kinds of eldritch abominations because they're still adopted. They look wildly different when not in human form.

Bruce is a mass of... shadows? Smoke? Something dark and formless that shifts and flows in different ways depending on his mood.

Dick kind of looks like a pile of owls that is also somehow a single body.

Barbara is a spiral galaxy with stars that are also eyes somehow?

Jason is a solid-looking mass of muscle with six strong legs, a thick coat of shaggy hair, a mouth that opens much further along his body than it seems like it should, and even more teeth than you'd expect a mouth that size to have.

Stephanie Brown is kind of like an incredibly dense storm system with purple glitter.

Cassandra is a silhouette through which undiscovered nebulae can be seen. What she is a silhouette of depends on her mood.

Tim, they have only ever seen in his meticulously well-crafted human form. He's really good at that part even if he needed some help with the behavioral bits.

Damian is half human. Talia saw a mass of living darkness trying really hard to pretend to be a man and decided she was into that.

...

Dick: So, eye contact is actually pretty simple once you have the formula figured out. You need to cycle between looking at the other person and looking at something else at the appropriate frequency. If you look at them too much it will come across as staring. If you look away for too long they'll think you're not paying attention to them. You'll need to experiment to figure out the appropriate frequency.

Tim: *frets*

Jason: You don't have to look straight at their eyes, just in the general direction of their face.

Tim: Oh! I can do that!

...

I think Eldritch Bruce having history with the league of assassins in a markedly less inentional way than Canon would be funny. Like, you'd think an encounter between an eldritch abomination and a cult would be deliberate on someone's part, but no.

Bruce was still young and unskilled at differentiating between normal and abnormal human behavior.

[absolutely-esme]

A dating service where matching is based on people’s search history exists. You’re a serial killer. You go on a date with a writer.

[absolutely-esme]

[absolutely-esme]

DPxDC Prompt Where Everyone is Confused

What if ghosts mature differently then humans so that there's less of a fixed time frame? It's not about the time so much as how they spend it. Some young ghosts will go decades or even centuries without doing any growing up at all while others steadily work their way toward adulthood. Ghosts that start out the same age may not stay that way.

In this case, it would be entirely possible for ghosts to speed run the process of growing up, especially under high stress circumstances.

So, suppose Danny, Sam, and Tucker brute-forced their way to ghostly adulthood within a year of the accident (could be all three are halfas, could be Sam and Tucker are liminal enough to count). However, they aren't just ghosts, and the human portion of them doesn't work like that. Human biology goes at it's own pace and will finish when it finishes.

End result, the trio are adults on the ghostly side of things but still kids on the human side. Much uncanny. Very uncomfy.

Meanwhile Whatever DC hero you like has recently had a brush with death that turned them liminal. On the human side of things they're an adult, but on the ghostly side of things they're a newborn.

Put these characters together and watch the conflicting instincts confuse the heck out of everyone.

[absolutely-esme]

Has this one made it to tumblr yet

[absolutely-esme]

🐱 🐦

[absolutely-esme]

via indiarosecrawford

Frog Paints a Water Lily Pond 🪷🎨🐸

𝑓ₒᵣ ⲕᵢ𝑛𝑔 ₐ𝑛𝑑 𝑐ₒ𝑡𝑡ₐ𝑔ₑ

[absolutely-esme]

[absolutely-esme]

We need more of this in the crossovers.

Sure Batman is a great detective, but there's no way to deduce that someone can be alive and a ghost at the same time if you don't already know it's possible.

Yanno, a thing i see a LOT in fics is that the Batfam think Danny is a meta, b/c ghosts don't exist. Which is valid, i mean they ARE a team of detectives with a shitton of wacky themed rogues and, at least on batman's part, a noted distaste for and disbelief in magic and the supernatural.

But bruce and tim have both worked with ghosts directly. (Maybe the others too? fuck there's a LOT of comics and animated series and-) So i think it would be much funnier if they think he's not a ghost, b/c Ghosts Don't Work That Way.

In fact, b/c Communication Is Not The Batman's Strong Suit, I think it's funny if all of them are wrong but for different reasons.

Bruce - has worked with Deadman. You can't see or interact with ghosts without magical outside intervention. Thinks Danny is a magic user who transforms a la Shazam/Captain Marvel.

Dick - Clown trauma? Mind control Trauma? One of your rogues tried to brainwash you to be his son/weapon? Damn kid you're like me if i had it even worse. Thinks Danny is a "regular" kid vigilante with a schtick.

Babs - Well the video evidence she can find deffo lines up with him being a super, but there's a hardcore blackout around his town, he doesn't legally exist, AND any outside info she runs into is usually cutoff by someone (tucker or technus depending), AND he's mentioned cloning. So he's probably a designer "cloned" (ugh dc that's not how cloning works) meta kid that's being taken advantage of by the government and/or cadmus.

Cass - Thinks Danny is a terrible liar (true) who is counting on the refuge in audacity to keep people from realizing what he is (also true). Thinks he's someone who got themed meta powers in a lab accident and is playing up the ghost thing b/c he fights ghosts constantly.

Jason - Glowing green eyes? Ability to manifest green constructs that look like they're made of goo? Constant death jokes? Aww, this dude is just another me but he is also a meta/somehow got anime girl powers out of getting dunked in the lazarus pits.

Tim - worked with Secret. Ghosts can fly, shapeshift, go intangible, teleport, posses people. Thinks phantom is an actual ghost that is possessing/overshadowing Danny, possibly consensually? He's looking into it. Ironically, is the closest to the truth.

Steph - Hasn't seen Danny do anything that the other bats can't do, and HAS seen him work on an engineering project for 16 hours straight. Thinks Danny is something like the bats, either under-powered or completely non-powered and makes up for it with tech and mystique. Also thinks Danny is a great ally in gremlinship.

Duke - his Ghost Sight does NOT play well with ghosts, ironically. Thinks Danny is some sort of eldritch horror with a human guise. He seems cool tho, Duke isn't gonna judge someone based on looks even if they do give him migraines.

Damian - thinks that Danny is a Pit Demon and you are all insane.

Jarro - thinks Danny is a Green Martian. Also thinks Danny is awesome.

[absolutely-esme]

Fair warning, my knowledge of Plastic Man is Primarily from works that he is not the main focus of.

I feel like Plastic Man would actually be a pretty good mentor for Danny.

It's easy to think that he doesn't seem like mentor material, but I think he could be pretty good at talking to Danny without condescension. His history of screwing up and trying to do better might also make him more approachable to Danny than an adult that seems too perfect, because Danny is used to being let down by adults in his life.

I think a Plastic man that is flawed from the start but still trying to do good and willing to acknowledge his screw-up and try to fix them would probably seem a lot more reliable (and less intimidating) to Danny than the heroes that seem more polished and together.

Like "here's some things I learned the hard way so you don't have to." With a healthy dose of "but use your own best judgment because I have been wrong before and probably will be again." And also "so you screwed up and are out of your depth? No worries I have plenty of experience in screwing up and being out of my depth. We've got this."

Also, I'm amused by the mental image of Plastic Man rocking up to a meeting with his new protégé in tow and the rest of the League being like "why, of all people, was it Plastic man the kid latched onto," while Danny alternates between joking with, sassing, and hiding behind his mentor.

Alternately, the league might find out when the extradimmensional threat they are dealing with turns out to be Box Lunch, so one minute they're facing a behemoth made of food containers and the next Plastic Man is there with a toddler in one arm and a cell phone in his other hand. "Hey kid, I found her. You can let them know she's safe and I'm bringing her back."

Plastic Man has been tasked with infiltrating the Fentons, a big name weapon maker that specializes in weapons used against Metas.

He's confused when it's just...a house. A really weird house, but a house nonetheless.

He gets inside.

Normal house. Aside from the insane security system, of course, but it seems to not be geared for him.

There's living food in the fridge.

He eats it.

It was the foods fault for instigating the fight, okay?! The kitchen is but a jungle and Plastic Man is King.

Bedrooms indicate two teens and a pair of adults. Pictures on the walls confirm it. Trophies for the kids, but nothing recent. Concerning.

The basement though.

Oh, the basement.

That is a portal to another dimension, just there and accessible to anyone at any time.

It's filthy, with unknown substances covering the tables and floor. There's little to no organization, and one of the test tubes over a Bunsen burner is literally spilling out a smoke that burns his nose.

And not in a normal way.

The basement door opens, someone starts coming downstairs, and Plastic Man morphs into the closest thing he can see; a discarded thermos half hidden under a table.

The teenage boy, Daniel (that name's too stuffy he's calling the kid Danny), picks him up and shoves him in his backpack.

Plastic Man doesn't get a chance to escape before there's a ghost attack (that's so cool!) (wait no that's so dangerous!) and Danny turns into a superhero (hey, this kids pretty cool!) and tries to use Plastic Man to eat the ghost.

[absolutely-esme]

I have long thought that it doesn't make sense for a universe that contains magic to have a magic vs science schism. It's just weird for the science people to be denying a set of observable phenomena and ignoring the expertise of the people who study it.

It would be like a physicist trying to insist that biochemistry isn't real.

Danny should absolutely rip on the Flashes

Realistically, Danny meeting the flashes and having any of them deny the existence of magic/saying "magic is just science we don't understand yet" should be met with ENDLESS mockery. Like come on The flashfam WORKS with gods, magic users, some of the JL/JLD are literally demons and ghosts. Diana/WW was MADE FROM CLAY in some canons!

Scepticism on that level should ABSOLUTELY be met with "I didn't know the Justice League worked with flat earthers" Type scorn. The burns should be third degree. The fatalities wide spread. No one who lives in a world with that much evidence of magic should be allowed to carry "magic isn't real" as an opinion and not be derided for having their head in the sand. As I understand it the scepticism comes out of the flash comics from like, the 60-80's which fair but the other heroes stories had to accommodate for each other when the crossovers started happening so I feel it's only fair to have men of logic like the flashes (so many of them are scientists of some type right?) deduce that yeah magic has to be real ESPECIALLY - When any of the magic users, ANY OF THEM - Could respond with a very simple: "Magic is science you don't understand." "What?" "I understand exactly what I'm doing. I understand exactly what I need to do to get repeat results, and I understand what not to mix not to get undesirable results. What about that implies a lack of understanding? Magic isn't something WE don't understand, magic is something you don't understand."

I enjoy the idea of the flashes being sceptics, I actually enjoy it a lot. Sceptics are very necessary to any narrative, but honestly the magic users deserve a chance to call them out because really having someone call your life's work and very real craft 'not real' 'hoaxes' and essentially parade it around as something they could come to understand better than you if they just looked into it but have made no effort to would be enough to make anyone break their teeth from clenching their jaw so hard.

Essentially early days flashes as sceptics makes total sense. The flashes continuing to have "magic isn't real" as an opinion for too long into the story gives them Flat Earther Level Intellect.