alice1505

[alice1505]

So we all remember the Buffy episode where Cordelia makes the wish that Buffy had never come to Sunnydale and Anya grants it and everything is a nightmare, right?

So here's what I need, as I'm suddenly in desperate need of (even more) angst (but with a happy ending please I beg) and just penance, vengeance, what have you. What if, at the end of the morgue scene, it doesn't just end with "he's entitled, I killed his wife." "Yes you did." What if we just... what if we added in a little extra 🌟awful🌟 with a "I wish it had been you instead."

And bam, magical unrealness, someone grants that wish - maybe make Eurus the wish granting demon and not.... what she was.... (derogatory, sorry I hated TFP). And we get John rocketed back in time/wish reality where Sherlock is shot and dies instead, but remembers the wish! Important. And maybe, for a little while, he feels vindicated or satisfied/justified, idk, but then the slow horror seeps in. That it's real, it's not a fancy day dream, it's real life when he just keeps waking up every day in this altered new reality. And obviously, the marriage falls apart because you can't tell me they were in any way happy or that it would last much longer (sorry Mary, I enjoy her enough as a character but I'm johnlock trash through and through so for the love of God, GET OUT). Basically I just need scenes of begging and "I didn't mean it" and all that.

Of course, I need the happy johnlock ending though, the wish gets broken and all after some deep realizations and working through things and the additional trauma and "omg what did I do??????" Moment.

I just really have a huge need. If there's any fics like that out there, please hook a sad bitch up ❤️ otherwise I'm on my KNEES begging someone to write it.

[alice1505]

seven years later i am still not over the fact that dean killed himself because cas was dead and cas never even found out

and to make it even worse, it happened the same episode cas came back to life. dean killing himself to join cas in death, not knowing that cas is actually alive? literally the plot of romeo and juliet aka the most famous love story of all time. and this was never fucking resolved

truly the show of all time (derogatory)

[alice1505]

I want to live in the supernatural universe just so I can watch the true crime documentary on jimmy novak

[alice1505]

oh look i made a thing

[alice1505]

I cracked it. Seeing Gabriel and Beelzebub fucking off to the stars felt exctly as if Mycroft Holmes and Greg Lestrade came out as gay at the end of Sherlock season 4.

[alice1505]

remember when sherlock didn't even notice there was no glass

[alice1505]

It’s been five years but…

How is The Final Problem real?

No, seriously, how?

[alice1505]

I made the mistake of rewatching Sherlock because I never did finish it back in the day (I was -clenches fist- seething over the queerbaiting and rage quit after not fully watching episode 1 of s4) and I'm here to make my side hyperfixation (what year is this??? Who am I???) Tumblr's problem. The more I sit with s4, the less I like it 😂 There were pieces and elements I liked, but overall, it left a bad taste in my mouth. Forgive me if any or all if these points have been talked to death, I missed all the discourse and I'm hella late, but I need to flail and send my thoughts into the void because what even WAS that season? I can't believe I avoided it for years, got drawn in by a couple of tiktoks making fun (affectionately) of superwholock Era and That Scene about the fucking phone charger port, binged all of it, only to be left with..... that. Not nearly as disappointing or rage inducing as spn's ending but by God, did it leave a hole in me. So please ignore my rambling thoughts as I slap them down here for my own sanity.

• First and foremost, what - and I can't stress this enough - the fuck was UP with the assassination of John's entire character???? What was that??? Why????

• Related to that point - I can appreciate the angst point and potential it provides, as I'm reading many, many fics, but AYO WHY didn't anyone rip John an entire new one for that beat down he did on Sherlock????? Hello???? 911?????

• Tell me why everything felt so stilted and borderline icy. Like I get the high emotions and shit, but after a certain point... 😭 was there a falling out between Benedict and Martin that I'm not aware of? Did they just try to ungay everything so hard and were so pissed at the audience picking up everything THAT THEY PUT???? into this show and their interactions that they just hit the brakes hard enough to make everything feel weird???

• A lot of it felt weird. Off kilter a little. Forced in some places, toned down in others (and toned down where it shouldn't have been), a nod to ships but weirdly/hatefully??? Idk if that makes sense. Like the whole Sherlock and Molly phone call (I do not mean any hate to this ship, I really hope it doesn't come off this way. Not my cup of tea but you are valid). Why was Molly so upset BEFORE the call? Did I miss something? Also I don't personally think or feel she'd still have those feelings for him??? I??? I am bamboozled.

• to that whole point, Eurus was.... Hmm. Mmmm. She was. Something. (Confused derogatory)

• I like Mary as a character. I also hated her. (Definitely biased by my shipper trash ass self for johnlock, I'm sorry). Wtf were those messages, please. Edit: AND ANOTHER THING. John's reaction to Sherlock's death - awful, gut wrenching, beautiful, my heart breaks with and for him, utterly devasting. John's reaction to Mary's death - had me sitting there like🧍‍♀️(it was weird. so weird. awkward. w h y. (we know why, but also the acting choices were Something TM, in both cases! for different reasons!) i'm sorry i just can't get past my anger and put off-ness with mary, fun as she could be)

• why did mycroft and John switch roles 😭 pls. The last episode was just. So Much. The lackluster responses from John, to John, to Sherlock, between them, like.... hello???? Who are these people?? Help me. Moriarty saved me for a brief shining moment tho, God bless.

There's more I could spew, but that's what's sitting right at the top of my head. I guess all this just to say, if a show runner/writer really just fucking hates the audience they got (instead of the one they wanted), they probably shouldn't have fucking become a show runner/writer in the first place. Either hand it to someone who can actually handle it and listens, or fuck off. I will never understand when shows and plots and characters gets kamikaze'd because of a show runner being pissy and egotistical. Like ????? Grow up. Learn from Bryan Fuller and Hannibal or something.

Sorry for all the rambling, bless anyone who reads this and makes sense of it 😂

[alice1505]

I am about to run out the door and don't have time to search it myself, but are there any fan edits to the songs Lifetime and Traitor by Livingston??? Because my GOD they punched me in the face with Good Omens feels, heavy on Crowley. So if there isn't any..... there really should be 👀

[alice1505]

hahaha i’m not okay :)

[alice1505]

Look, I know some people are mad about the prequel and calling foul because it isn’t following SPN canon to a t yet, but LOOK. LISTEN. Are you not seeing all of the foreshadowing? All of the parallels??? I just got caught up, and the way they show the foundation of the John Winchester we know in canon is damn good. The cracks are all starting to come through, all of the building blocks are RIGHT THERE. I am loving this so far, and my heart is going to ache even more at the sheer tragedy of it all when it finally all comes together to form the canon we know. I am excited and already sad to see how they do it, to see what happens. 

[alice1505]

haven’t seen the winchesters pilot yet but this put me at peace

[alice1505]

look at this godforsaken mess that you made me

illicit affairs | destiel

[alice1505]

Some hater : Dean doesn’t care about Ca… Me : How about you watch this video and then you shut the hell up forever. … ….

[alice1505]

Is it fair to say

That I needed you through the crazy pain

Of livin' here with all this hurt and what I feel?

All I touch and how I steal?

The fantasy was far too real

Oh, I let it slip away

Didn't hear the strength within your words

And what they mean

You were watchin' over me

jensen wrote these words about dean and cas. JENSEN WROTE THESE WORDS ABOUT DEAN AND CAS. JENSEN WROTE THESE WORDS ABOUT DEAN AND CAS.

[alice1505]

"No.” Sam gets up and starts pacing around the room. He’s tugging at his arms, at the fabric around his elbows. “We wouldn’t have--even if we didn’t remember Cas, we wouldn’t try to kill him. We’d figure out who he was and what he wanted, and Cas would’ve--that’s not what would happen. No,” he says, louder. “I mean, Dad might be more wary because he doesn’t know about angels but we wouldn’t let him--we wouldn’t, Mom.” He lets go of his arms and reaches up, fingers digging through his hair. “We wouldn’t hurt him.”

“Sam.” Mary calls his name but doesn’t know what else to say. She can’t reassure him of anything other than the ugly, terrible truth. So she says it again and again like it’s a soothing balm. “Sam. Sam, Sam.”

Dean is stone silent, staring holes into the empty bottle in from of him.

“And if we tried to--Cas would have stopped us! He’s an angel, goddammit!” Sam swings his leg, kicking the nearest stool over with the ringing clatter. “This wouldn’t have happened, this didn’t happen, Dean and I would have never, ever--”

"What else did I do to him?" Dean's question comes out as barely more than a whisper but it's deafening.

@featherasscas

[alice1505]

oh my fucking god he carried this show on his back for 12 years he saved it from cancellation and then they killed him off and didn’t even have the fucking decency to make a goodbye post for his last episode because they wanted to use him for queerbait one last time before the finale. i’m foaming at the mouth misha collins can literally be as publicly insane about destiel as he wants actually he’s earned it he’s served his time and he deserves to exploit this ship for clout until the day he dies