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⋆.˚ ☾ .⭒˚

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2021, pt. 2

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2021

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𝐈𝐧 𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐮𝐧𝐢𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐞 𝐈’𝐦 𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐢𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐨 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐥𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐝𝐢𝐟𝐟𝐜𝐮𝐥𝐭. 𝐈’𝐦 𝐬𝐨𝐫𝐫𝐲 𝐰𝐞 𝐡𝐚𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐦𝐞𝐞𝐭 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐨𝐧𝐞.

excerpts from a book I’ll never write

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— Susan Jeffers

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there was a time that every day, i had to be high

while desperately trying not to make a show.

sneaking away from family christmas

to rail thick lines of fluffy fake snow.

holidays don't feel the same,

not even a touch of magic

when everything you have to say

is just so fucking tragic

thanksgivings spent in trap houses,

easters spent on worn out couches

i spent my twenty-first birthday with people twice my age

we stay up for days, not one of us slouches

fifteen, sixteen, seventeen, eighteen

wasted on vodka, tequila, rum, whiskey

wasted on sugar free gum, diet coke from a vending machine

precious teen years spent running from a loaded gun

nineteen, twenty, twenty-one, twenty-two

wasted on pills, thrills, drugs, collecting vices

wasted on hallucinations, overdoses, not much of value

it seems like im always willing to pay the highest prices

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and where does that leave us?

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instagram | birgittetheresa

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Microdosing for New York Magazine